372 Pages We ll Never Get Back

Episode 22 - And the next book is...

Like it says in the title, we're reading a new full length book, and you get the first chance to learn what it is! Hope you're as excited as we are!

Next book!

It seems like we just left the Norgolian Empire, but it is time to read another book that we're probably going to hate together! Mike picked the next title, and it just arrived at my house. We'll reveal it tomorrow, but until then, any guesses?

Episode 21 - Mo' Shamen, Maw Problems

It feels like we just started Grignr's journey, but it's already time to finish The Eye of Argon. Fortunately, the second half is just as amazing as the first half, with out of left field seizures, deadly rat pelvis bones, reeking maws, husking femmes, and iycks!

We'll also take a look at how the book's love scenes translate to the audio book format, read your emails, and award the dumb sentence of the week. Plus, we're very pleased to report that this podcast has been deemed the winner of the...

Scozsctic

Mike here. I hate to come off whimsicoracally, but let me just husk this bustily: What the heck does "scozsctic" mean?!

Tounce mug, Gunter?

As mentioned in the latest episode, here's Urban Dictionary's attempt at an upsell

Episode 20 - Hope You Like Adjectives!

Wow! The Eye of Argon more than surpassed our expectations. Our ovals widened rotundly with every additional sentence Theis crafted. My god, the first four (4.5, really) chapters were only like six thousand words and we spent nearly two hours discussing them!

Obviously there's a lot to cover here as Grignr makes his way through the Norgolian empire: wenches, sluts (not the same, evidently!), bovine antagonists, and some very creative punctuation? Once again, Mike's Hollywood sources have unear...

Spit take-Worthy

I'm doing my reading and notes on the 2nd half of "The Eye of Argon" which OF COURSE means that I will read select passages to my wife, which she endures with a slight sigh. And yet... one of the sections I read last night did cause an actual spit take. 

Truly, naturally occurring spit take; spit takes are always great but the real ones are best of all.

Succor Yourself to the Sward!

Mike here, just echoing Conor's excitement about about the first ep (isode, that is. When you're in the biz [business] you tend to shorten things and make them really irritating). I made a comment in the episode that I loved this way more than I did Ready Player One: just want to make clear that READING it was way more fun. I had a blast recording all the episodes (or "eps", see above) for RP1, I just struggled with the reading, as I think you can imagine.

Real or Fan Fic is back!

Out of stock???

It's hard to imagine that there were many print copies of The Eye of Argon in stock to begin with, but it seems that you maniacs have bought up all amazon had left. Well done! Fortunately the ebook is available for free! Has anyone bought the paperback? I wonder how big it could even be.

Mike and I recorded the first Eye of Argon episode today and it was way more fun than I had even dreamed. Can't wait for you guys t...

Thanks, from Mike

Thanks, all! Conor and I are thrilled that you're joining us on another journey into, ahem, questionable prose -- maybe! Perhaps the prose will be great, stay tuned -- either way you'll be hearing our take on it as it happens and unfiltered!

Again, many thanks, more very soon.

Thank you!

We just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who has supported our Patreon so far! We're blown away at the generosity. And don't say it didn't come with perks! As the first 76 and counting people to learn what our next book is, it's time to get to work! Believe it or not, there is NO fan-fiction for The Eye of Argon. So get crackin'!

It's apparent within, like, the first three sentences that Theis has a unique style. But can it be imitated to the point where we fool one another? Send them to 37...

Episode 19 - Our Next Book: Not Cline, Still Very Bad

In this episode, we actually reveal the title of our next book. And wow: by all accounts does it appear to be a doozy. There is some information about the title and reading assignment, but since the reveal occurs as a very dramatic surprise in the episode, we have hidden it after a few pictures of incredibly fat bears:

So yeah, our next book is c...

Episode 18 - We Beginneth Anew

We are back! Don't worry, there is no new Ernest Cline book. But we've decided to launch back up to try to tackle some books which may be just as bad or even worse!

NOTE: Since you are reading this on Patreon you clearly do not need to listen to this episode about how to support us on Patreon. We fully acknowledge that it is, as Ralphie would put it, "A Crummy Commercial"