squidpizza

yet another monsterfucker thing

This is a version of an idea I've been iterating on for many years; essentially an alternate world war 2 era story about soldiers genetically enhanced into giant monsters. It's long enough (close to 5k words) that I've attached the whole thing as a PDF file. To give an idea of it, though, the beginning is also posted here:

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The hulking beast was clearly uncomfortable in his ill-fitting jacket and already-fraying pants. A hood covered his head, leaving only a pair of blue ...

Untitled Furry Thing #1

Francis had had a long day at work. The bat was unwinding by drinking too many Bloody Marys in the kitchen of his apartment. His best friend and roommate, Marco, was acting as a shoulder to cry on.

The tiger had come home from work to find Francis in this state, and so had not had a chance to change out of his uniform jumpsuit.

“I had fucking DREAMS!” Francis bemoaned, sniffling. “I wanted something, anything to look forward to. Dead end job, dead end everythin...

An Earful

This is some extremely weird fetish porn I felt compelled to write by forces beyond my control. It's long enough that I'm also uploading it as a PDF file instead of being directly pasted. That's basically it.

CW: Ear/brainfucking

The Hero We Need [Dev Commentary p1]

Gilded Rose is my ongoing web serial about a guy who isn’t gay being isekai’d to a gay porn parody of a fantasy setting. It’s free to read on Royal Road, but I’m going to start uploading portions of it here with writer commentary, so interested patrons can get some insight into both the setting and my writing process.

This is an unabridged version of (the first half of) chapte...

Tether

This is a story I’ve been intermittently trying to write for a few years now. This specific iteration is one I recently submitted to a magazine.

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On the shore of a beach, a demon was being born. Suddenly aware of his own existence, he found himself suffocating beneath the burning earth.

Still-cooling claws pushed sand out of the way, desperately trying to find a way out of the molten tomb.

Eventually he breached the surface, fell dow...

Release Ch. 1

I like it when titles have layers. "Release," originally written a few years ago, is a very layered piece. It's about a lot of things, including sex work and sexuality, but I wouldn't call it erotic. I'm not sure how much I still like it, but maybe someone else will.

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Abel “Coyote” Miralles had been missing for a little over two years. Most of the Wild Dogs were not interested in looking for him; members disappearing without a trace, being found dead or in prison, or simply...

Lone Wolf

Another older piece, this time from 2023. A friend and patron pointed out to me that I hadn't uploaded much werewolf-themed art, so here's some of that.

And it's gratuitous porn, because of course it is.

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The man whose name didn't matter was up late. He was sitting on the balcony of his northernmost lodge, watching the full moon rise on the snowy Alaskan field.

He was nursing a hot chocolate spiced with some expensive liquor he didn't remember the name of. He didn...

Curse of Empty Holes

This is an older piece from I believe late 2022, unedited except for some minor grammar fixes. It is, somehow, even gayer and stupider than most of what I write now, with less subtlety. I thought it was interesting to see how my writing has changed in only a few years.

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“Explain to me exactly what the problem is,” said the hedge-witch. He looked more than a little bored. “There don’t appear to be any external physical effects,”

I hummed. “Well, about a month ...

Gift of Fangs

This is something I've been sitting on for some time. It barely qualifies as porn TBH, it's like two lines at the end. Maybe I'll add a spicier part two sometime in the future.

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There is only one trail to and from the township of Prosper. It’s not a treacherous path, but it’s long and chilly and during the springtime unpleasantly damp.

David and Reyn had made the journey over the course of a week on a merchant caravan, earning their keep by fishing, hu...

Untitled Sci-Fi Thing, part 1

The forests of Galapagos IV stretched from pole to pole. Stretching over half a mile into the sky at its lowest, the trees were often hundreds of feet thick and grew together in strange, swirling ways that looked more like modern art than tangled foliage.

Standing on a branch wider than a football field and longer than a suspension bridge, looking down at the green abyss below, was Daniel Hyun.

Daniel was a biochemist and, more pressingly at the moment, a chronic acr...

IN PEACE (complete version)

Last year I wrote this for an anthology, however, it ended up getting rejected. Rather than let it sit forever unread, I'm uploading it here.

Ozzy is a true believer in the strange, but is unappreciated in his field and in need of a change. A chance encounter may give him the opportunity to experience things he never thought possible. And fuck aliens.

There are two versions of the PDF, one in the intended palette, and one in a standard black-on-white for readers who may prefer tha...

Lithium Heart

Dark gray waves lapped at a light gray beach under a medium gray sky. Things that approximated birds squawked and swirled through the humid, hot air, wings spread wide to catch both the wind and pallid sunlight.

A man woke up on the beach, some ways away from the waterline.

He awoke not all at once, but in stages, as if he was assembling consciousness from many different pieces. He got to his feet, brushing sand off himself.

The sensation was entirely incorrect. Metal agains...

Positive Reinforcement

I’m straight. I’m straight, alright? I just want to preface this with this disclaimer.

Also, I’m using words like ‘preface’ and ‘disclaimer’ because Evan’s been tutoring me. I guess I should start with that.

Evan is my roommate. He’s really smart, like, supercomputer smart. I don’t think he really needs to learn anything at university, he just needs to prove he knows it all. But it works out for me, because he’s also a great roommate.

He really looks li...

Old Writing 3: Blood Artist

There’s a knock at the door. It’s nine p.m.

Still, I set down my book and stand up. Maybe it’s my lost DoorDash order from two weeks ago. The fries better not be cold.

I open the door. A young man stands on my faded welcome mat. Artists need an eye for detail, and without even thinking I catalog his appearance. Ashen, pale skin, with absolutely no hair. Dark, tired eyes with noticeable bags.

Perfect-white fangs poke out from below thin lips held in a slight smile. Vant...

Old Writing 2: Friday Night Dinner

Dylan hated Friday night family dinner. It was awkward when it was just him and dad and it was even more awkward with his new stepfather. Archon was always hard to read, mainly because he wore a gold and white helmet that made Darth Vader’s look minimalist. It wasn’t clear to Dylan how he could eat through the mask, but he did.

“This is good, dear,” Archon said. He either had some kind of voice modulator or ate sandpaper; keeping a voice that deep and gravelly was just not possi...

Old Writing 1: FEAR NOT

In the fifty-third sector of the Iridium-Burgundy zone, an angel was relaxing. Its one hundred and eight segments were curled around a plush spire, each of its one hundred and eight eyes scanning recent newsletters, reading messages from friends and acquaintances, and/or browsing social media feeds.

Its wings, infinite in length but with nonexistent depth, fluttered like streamers in the breeze that constantly flowed through its dwelling.

A baker’s dozen of its eyes focused on a...

The Goat King (1989)

As you may or may not know, I've been pretty slow on art due to some hand injuries. Nothing serious, but it's kept me pretty limited, and I apologize for not updating much this month. That said, here's some porn about guys getting turned into satyrs.

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“—No way dude, the camera is cool. Besides, when you get disemboweled by the Goat King I’ll need video proof so I don’t go to jail.” The speaker was Carmen, who had just started filming the dark forest he was being dri...

Vanish into Memory

In the next chapter of Gilded Rose, Perish the Thought, Glory's brother, requires a treasured memory for his services. This is the memory he took.

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Perish the Thought opened his eye. He was drifting through a lightless abyss, searching for a pinprick of illumination in a field of identical, glimmering motes.

He found it quickly. He was nothing if not efficient. The mindscape of Will Terronson was arranged like a layer cake, or more aptly, like a colum...

No Strings Attached

The sermon is fervent, inspiring, and improvised. The desperate congregation crowd around him, calling out to be saved.

Offering material goods for immaterial security.

The bag goes around, as it always does. It jingles with gold and silver and copper, and whatever junk these poor fools surrendered.

In a week, he'll be gone. In two, the bag will be empty once again.

Later, while the evangelist is sitting in a borrowed study, counting fat stacks of coins, there's a knoc...

Perish the Thought

Glorious Purpose's twin brother, and a mysterious sort. He hasn't shown up in Gilded Rose just yet, but he will, sooner or later.

Every angel has a demon they are metaphysically bound to, forming as a foil to them. They are mortally tied; they grow in power in tandem, and killing one kills the other. This relationship is known as their "Bane" and the dynamics are highly varied, ranging from mort...

Other Fish

“Okay, run the problem by me again,” asked Vernon, a programmer who was rather unusually making a house call.

“The app is finding people matches and helping them work through the early stages of their relationships with unprecedented success.” Said the supervisor who was walking Vernon through the winding hallways of the rented headquarters of Other Fish dating.

“And that’s bad because?” Vernon asked yet again. He wasn’t sure which of them was being willfu...

Virgil on Break

Virgil is used to having lots of privacy at the hot spring he technically owns (his inherited estate is built on it,) and so he finds being interrupted quite surprising. Depending on who interrupts him, it might be a very pleasant surprise indeed.

Malachite

Something from a while ago. I love Lee and Xander, I really should do more with them.

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There’s a buzz from the intercom. “Inmate #691, to the front, please.”

I grumble and get to my feet, stepping from my tiny bedroom into the tiny cell. I face forward with a practiced expression of vague disinterest. In addition to the normal guard, who I expected, there’s a young man in a suit. His demeanor, and the piercing gaze of his eyes, remind me much of the warden. A rela...

Two Cakes

I open my heart and pour blood into the rich batter. I pull out my brain and wring it out, mixing the technicolor sludge in with a heavy hand.

There’s no rack; I hold the pan up while the cake bakes and my hands burn. It’s overcooked. I toss it out and open a new bag of sugar and an old, drained heart. But that’s okay. It’s the hard work that matters.

Grated dreams, candied metaphors and chocolate-hope frosting are spread with care. It’s not perfect, it’ll never be per...

Deep Blue

This was another short story I submitted to a contest, and one I still quite enjoy. Included are some concept pieces I did for Aketu's and Pa'o's character designs. (Aketu's animal form is a blacktip reef shark, while Pa'o's is a common octopus)

The Prince of Sharks was lying down on the beach, staring...

Art Archive 3

Several Bigass Things

SAVIOR

This game is free and publicly available, but I wanted a direct link to it on my Patreon page.

Basil's Oral Fixation

It's a high-risk high-reward indulgence; those fangs aren't just for show!

Art Archive 2

Die-hard fans adored your hands.

They loved your throat

and quote-unquote

You.

The Scorpion and the Frog

I wrote and submitted this to a competition about a year ago, and it remains one of the things I'm most proud of writing.

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One summer day, a frog came across a scorpion on the bank of a river. “Hello, stranger. I know this is a lot to ask,” the scorpion began, “but could you help me cross the river here?”

The frog contemplated this for a moment. “I would be happy to help, but how do I know that you won’t sting me?”

The scorpion shrugged. “If I stung ...