In this one Bart attempts to make a baby because that's the kind of plot The Simpsons was doing around season 21. He spends the episode trying to get Homer and Marge to fuck because he wants a brother, and also so he can watch and say ay carumba!
If for some reason you want to see this one for yourself, it's S21E08: Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou. But I'm telling you, it's not great. Just weird and mostly crummy.
2025-03-27 13:31:30 +0000 UTC
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If y'all wuz literat yood alredy no bout dis Sowth Ameracan masterpees. But I have bore witness to the proud lack of culture among the online swine long enough to know it's up to me to play teacher about any and all things worth knowing.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez is known as the father of the "magical realism" genre, meaning that his stories tend to have an element of supernatural insanity, presented matter-of-factly alongside the natural insanity of life.
His stories are hypnotic...
2025-03-26 22:11:42 +0000 UTC
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It's true. I really did it. Of my own will and volition, I watched an anime. This one is hilarious, full of yummy food, and has the coolest chick in the world. What more even needs to be said? Nothing. That's what.
I ain't sayin nothin else cause I'm hangry for something delicious right now, so I'm gonna leave my dungeon and venture out in search of a sodey pop and a Butterfinger. In today's economy that should only cost me about 37 dollars, which is exactly what I will make from this v...
2025-03-17 18:02:53 +0000 UTC
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This is one of the episodes everyone loves. Even normies remember it. A psychological deep dive into the twisted and ruined warzone of Helga's tormented mind. My tormented mind is held together and soothed by Hey Arnold, so I love and cherish every episode, but not everyone can be as oldschool and cool as me.
Is it the best episode? It's definitely up there. But choosing just one episode of the perfect cartoon is like choosing just one slice of pizza...
2025-03-17 14:25:31 +0000 UTC
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Daredevil lives in Hell's Kitchen, I live in Hell's toilet. Aside from that we basically have the same life. Here's a cool video where I tell you all about his critically acclaimed 2010 Mark Waid adventures, as collected in a big fat omnibus.
Beyond that, I ain't gonna write some long description here because Daredevil wouldn't be able to read it anyway, so I'm being inclusive. But I can read, and I can look at pictures too. So now you get to look at me telling about the w...
2025-03-17 13:43:23 +0000 UTC
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Behold the Wrestle-Man in his natural habitat, the Wrestle-Room. I've been way behind on wrestle stuff because I was busy with all the silly little cartoons and animes you people were throwing at me. But I'm done with that baby stuff, and now it's time once again to talk about the only important thing in this pitiful world. That's wrestling, if you didn't know. Why the hell else would I be in the Wrestle-Room? Come on, use your heads, people.
At the Elimination Chamber, John Cena shock...
2025-03-15 13:58:00 +0000 UTC
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What an enlightening round of requests this was. I made no actual profit because I set it obscenely cheap and many of your requests were asinine, assy, Hellish, and Smellish. But this is the last, best, and Helliest of them all. So it gets the honor of a nice, normal, concise, and lucid review. The game is enough of a trip on it's own, it doesn't need my help to sound like a spiraling nightmare because it legitimately is one.
Mouthwashing is great and doesn't take long to get through, m...
2025-03-13 15:17:14 +0000 UTC
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To be clear, this is a review which happens to be extremely goofy of A Goofy Movie, not a review of An Extremely Goofy Movie, which is the inferior sequel that no one cares about.
A Goofy Movie isn’t just a "Goofy" movie, it’s a damn legendary movie, man. It ought to be called A Goofy Film
2025-03-13 11:54:24 +0000 UTC
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This month's Shudder Crud theme is women having a terrible time and going totally nuts. No I don't mean that in a sexist way, you chumps. I mean it in a totally rad and gnarly way. 3 films, 3 pretty girls, 3 really bad days. It could easily be 3,000 films, because women having a bad day is like 90 percent of horror movies. Pretty sure that makes up the entirety of Shudder's library. So this may be an ongoing theme.
2025-03-01 05:57:50 +0000 UTC
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Here's a very special double creature feature of fuck. I got 2 reviews in one here. That's 2 stinky movies i half watched, which equals 1 foul nightmare of fecal frights, and one cool dream my brain conjured up to escape from this filth.
Has there ever been a more bungled franchise than Jeepers Creepers? That first one is a classic, and it should have stayed the only one. The second one stank, the third one stunk, and this new one stonks. That's 4 movies, 3 of which smell like a fart, w...
2025-03-01 04:48:27 +0000 UTC
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I heard about this one cause it had some wtf buzz online, so i thought I'd join the swarm and see what all the buzz is about, cuz. There's no way to really talk about the movie without spoiling it a little bit, but it definitely falls into the "oh shit oh no what the hell" category. It's a pretty good Oh shit movie.
Don't watch if you're a little baby, or if you have a little baby, it might scare you too much. At the very least it functions as an extremely effective PSA about the dange...
2025-03-01 03:59:54 +0000 UTC
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This is the fastest I've disagreed with myself after recording something. This review of the Batman: The Animated Series pilot episode is mostly centered around hating Man-Bat. But as a pilot episode it really is quite good.
So much of this show's greatness was present from the very beginning, and while Man-Bat is the lamest Batman villain ever created, upon further reflection I see the wisdom in using him for the introduction to this show. Not every story has to be compl...
2025-02-28 23:23:15 +0000 UTC
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This may not be the most succinct or coherent "review" you've ever seen, but it's an oldskool Endless Jess experience, in the classic style of me. My review is that it's a fine film, and you should watch it. There. Now that the boring part is out of the way, here's a little film of my own, that only I could ever conceive of, let alone create. An artistic expression of mood and mirth far beyond what could ever be achieved in anyone else's pointless recap of a 28 yea...
2025-02-27 05:20:01 +0000 UTC
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Cowabunga, you buncha bungholes! Here's my lovely new talk show all about my favorite fungoids, the Ninja Turtles. Will there ever be more than one episode? I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't matter!
My special guest on this first and only episode of Turtle Talk is... me. Today I'm talking about the new TMNT comics reboot by Jason Aaron, known for inventing all the cool ideas that Thor: Love and Thunder horribly butchered. Let's hope that creepy director guy doesn't get his filt...
2025-02-26 22:50:24 +0000 UTC
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This is the true rap. The Night Rap. Mista Thug Isolation is me and I am he. I am morose and lugubrious, and the lean got me fucked up.
Somehow these bars feel more relevant today than upon release. Doesn't it feel like the whole damn world is morose, lugubrious, and fucked up on lean these days? Lil Ugly Mane was a prophet from the future. I know because he is obviously me.
Clearly this lean-ass life got me so fucked up I travelled back in time to warn myself with a dope rap cd,...
2025-02-04 19:19:48 +0000 UTC
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This movie was dumb as hell because of course it was. It's Sonic The Freaking Hedgehog 3. But someone just had to hear what I have to say about it. What even is there to say?
It's just Sonic, man. Everybody knows his whole deal. He goes fast, he's annoying, and his best friends are a gaybo and a dipshit. I'm on Robotnik's side because he's the only sane person in this world.
I swear Jim Carrey must have wrote his own dialogue because his scenes are like an entirely different mov...
2025-02-03 22:42:57 +0000 UTC
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This is the inspirational tale of a boy who gets shot in the butthole and trapped in a whale. Lovingly animated by a passionate bunch of perverted psychos on brain-juice.
This flick has everything. Action, romance, big fat titties bouncing around, pretty colors exploding out of everything, and some kind of vaguely motivational message about life or something.
Do you want a cool request video for 20 bucks? Well, too bad...
2025-02-02 20:06:42 +0000 UTC
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The Criterion streaming service is only for the real high brow stuff. By which i mean high brow like the people's eyebrow, raised charismatically at a big fat pair of attitude era Sable titties. That's what it's all about. That's what America is all about.
If you're not born and raised in the real USA, you wouldn't understand. Some art is of it's time, of it's place, and of it's nation. The common theme here is the soul of a nation. Stories, characters, adventures, and wacky pranks of a...
2025-02-01 05:54:49 +0000 UTC
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It's the return of everyone's favorite random movie reviews, mine. I have selected from my late night musings, a triple-feature of insane mania, 3 demented stories of mentally disturbed dummies doing fucked up shit.
These are freak films and maniac movies of madness and misery. Enjoy them if you can, study them to learn what kind of people to avoid, and commit yourself if you find them relatable in any way. Or just watch something nice and wholesome like Harold and Kumar.
Just r...
2025-02-01 04:17:02 +0000 UTC
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Finally, a good request for something cool and gnarly. Someone out there had the decency and wisdom to get me talking about Stereogram, the best thing to come out of New Zealand since Return of The King, which came out the previous year.
These guys kicked so much ass they had to disband after 3 albums because they said all they needed to and it was all this crappy world deserved. This is the realest, punkest, fuckes...
2025-02-01 00:02:32 +0000 UTC
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Here's the classic episode of Regular Show where someone finally stands up to the two devilish fiends, Dorkdecai and Bitchby. Those two ass clowns are the worst. But do you think they learn any kind of lesson here? Hell no. They're the eternal turds in the punchbowl of everyone else's fucking life.
Benson is king for telling them both to get fucked. I miss this show. But you know what's fucked up? This show was on around the same time as Gumball, but this is the show that has a guy who'...
2025-01-27 16:34:30 +0000 UTC
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This is the story of the only TSA guy who's worth a shit and actually does his job, instead of just touching my butt and stealing my dry shampoo. It's a movie on Netflix that you can watch with your own eyes. What a fantastic invention. Movies, I mean. One of the only good things ever invented, and a lot of em are bad!
This is basically a movie about a man looking anxious, sweaty and confused. I swear it's 90 percent close-ups of his face as he gulps and looks around nervously, like a f...
2025-01-26 19:09:24 +0000 UTC
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Welcome to Pissed Off Man Reviews Shit. This show is entirely too happy and cute for my current mood, so I tore it a new asshole. I was mean as Hell to it for no reason, and I regret nothing. I'll fuckin do it again.
I'm tired of watching girl shows and baby cartoons! From now on any colorful and campy slice-of-life silliness I see is getting eviscerated. I'll rip em all a new one!
Go ahead, request some more adolescent nonsense and see if I don't barf and fart all over it. What'l...
2025-01-24 22:35:36 +0000 UTC
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Of course the first video game request i get has to be a 20 year old obscurity that I don't own and that Nintendo still thinks should be full price on their gay store. Don't worry, I got it running, I made it happen, and if i were a wealthy man I'd buy it and play it on the couch like God wants.
This is the story of a mudkip who was maybe once a man, a man named Splushpupp, who probably should have expected to be turned into a mudkip with a name like that. Together with Bobbysword he ho...
2025-01-23 14:30:09 +0000 UTC
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Oh FUCK! Who cut the goddamn cheese in here, baby? Taste the forgotten fumes of an often overlooked Hey Arnold episode that's all about pissing and farting. Really and for real. This episode STINKS! I mean it's good, but it literally reeks of roaring ass.
On this shit trip, Arnold's gra...
2025-01-23 00:22:16 +0000 UTC
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This Rat Requested a rock n roll record, any rock n roll record, by those ragamuffins who call themselves Green Day. I went the extra mile and spewed my stew on all the ones I've ever heard. That's almost half their discography, I think. This is probably the most accurate measure of how good a band Green Day is, good enough to know half their shit.
I am at the moment of writing this hearing some real crazy shit. Tunes Groovier than you could comprehend, and it's absolutely...
2025-01-19 16:25:43 +0000 UTC
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The first of the Request Rats has spoken, and passed this basketball anime to me like me passing a basketball to Tucker. This is called The First Slam Dunk for some reason, despite it not being the first of anything, and in fact being the last part of a series I've never seen. I was assured that no-context was needed, as this show is about a basketball game and any further plot details are just in the way.
This movie looks amazing and is infinitely more interesting than an...
2025-01-19 12:33:57 +0000 UTC
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Cowabunga you New Year Knuckleheads and Holiday Hose-Brains! I got something better for you to spend your money on than a gym membership you'll use once and never be able to cancel. Resolve instead to support quality entertainment, of your own refined selection.
Start 2025 off right by paying me for a cool video on whatever the hell you want, be it a movie, show, game, anime, or album. A this or a that, a tit or a tat, a shit or a shat, or a what the hell is t...
2025-01-11 21:21:05 +0000 UTC
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You didn't think you were safe from Mr. Goddamn Bean, did you? Nobody's making it to the New Year alive. You're all gonna drop dead of laughter from Bean's wild antics. If you thought what Kel did to the turkey was asinine, just you fucking wait to see the atrocity that Mr. Bean has cooked up for Christmas.
This man commits war crimes with that turkey. He breaks hearts, shatters dreams, and derails society, and society fucking deserves it too. Happy New Year, but you won't be around to...
2025-01-01 04:48:41 +0000 UTC
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Another year down the fucking shitter. Here's one last damn review of a piece of crap film about some gay ass bullshit. It's supposed to be a scary Santa film about a giant krampus monster, only it's not scary and doesn't actually have a Santa and the Krampus monster never even bothers coming out of his ice cube.
A pointless pile of putrid poop, stuffed into your stocking with crap and crud, and dumped in a stinking heap on the rug. Pass me the rum and the nog, my nug. Cause i don't gi...
2024-12-31 20:15:19 +0000 UTC
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