Colleen Hoover: well golly
Hoover: i don't know why everyone's so scared of lil' ol' me
Hoover: i'm just a girl, after all
Hoover: just a harmless girl
Hoover: i just love normal girl things
Hoover: like canning my own jams and fruit preserves
Hoover: wearing a gingham dress while churning butter on my family homestead
Hoover: and feeding my hungry hungry boys a nutritious organic seed oil-free meal of fried beef tallow and horse paste
Hoover: i just want to be a...
2025-12-02 17:00:15 +0000 UTC
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Nora Roberts: ah here we are
Poe: nora? aren't you usually at the romance campfire?
Roberts: yeah but i wanted to bring you a new member
Poe: a new member?
Roberts: yeah meet colleen hoover
Colleen Hoover:
Poe: oh, uh, hi
Roberts: yeah she just wasn't fitting in over there
Roberts: so we thought we'd bring her here
Roberts: we thought she'd just fit in better with you guys
Poe: um
Poe: we usually tell horror stories here
Roberts: yeah
Roberts: yeah i ...
2025-12-01 17:00:22 +0000 UTC
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That's right, we're going to tell you about Homestuck and YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN. (I'm actually not in this episode, my co-host Ethan flies solo with two guests... Jerna and Gertrude Perkins. Enjoy! It's Homestuck, people like Homestuck!
2025-12-01 05:00:06 +0000 UTC
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[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i want you all to say hello to graham linehan
Rowling: he'ss jussst a normal man
Graham Linehan: [wearing tin foil hat] trans free masons run the country!
Rowling: yess yess i know i wass ignoring graham for a long time
Rowling: i thought that hiss unhinged behavior and general repellentnessss might make all us terfss look bad
Rowling: but i think the general sstate of gender critical tho...
2025-11-28 17:00:26 +0000 UTC
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Episode Summary
It's a full moon, and Stephen King's evil alter ego, Richard Bachman, has escaped!
Episode Notes
It’s the night of the full moon, and someone forgot to lock up Stephen King securely. Now Steve’s evil alter ego, Richard Bachman, has escaped! The Pals have no choice but to hear his murder clown hotel story.
CAST
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy Stephano king
Musk: itsa me, you besta friend elon
Musk: elon musk!
Musk: i got something to show you
Musk: you ever wanted to be the subject of an epic roast?
King: me? subject to an epic roast?
King: wow, that sounds like a lark!
King: yes, actually i would love to be roasted!
Musk: check it out, you know you can get grok to roast you?...
2025-11-25 18:00:14 +0000 UTC
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Beatrice Winifred Iker: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the demon at the HBCU
Lovecraft: what's a HBCU
Iker: it's a historically bl
Poe: oh no don't say it in front of howard
Poe: the abbreviation will do just fine
Iker: "don't say it in front of howard?"
Poe: yeah we don't want to get howard agitated
Iker:
Poe: you have to understand, howard is a little bit racist
Iker:
Iker:
Iker: cool
Iker: feeling really we...
2025-11-24 18:04:32 +0000 UTC
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This week, we look at the forgotten 1994 action flick The Shadow and find a surprisingly fun little romp, studded with absolute stars like Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller, Tim Curry, a young Ian McKellen, John Ione, Sab Shimono, Koop, Neelix, Bob the guardian angel, Willie Tanner, and so many more! Thrills! Chills! Spills! They're all here! We like it!
2025-11-24 05:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Very excited to receive my contributor copy of "Five Raging Hearts," a very cool new collection of splatterpunk shorts written in response to these dark time. It features stories by Wile E Young, Craig Brownlie, Judith Sonnet, Matthew L Reyes, and Roxane Llanque... with an introduction by yours truly, ie me, Bitter Karella!
you can find it at:
https://godless.com/...
2025-11-23 06:16:43 +0000 UTC
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Guillermo del Toro: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of frankenstein
del Toro: but
del Toro: this frankenstein is a little different
Bram Stoker: yes we know, guillermo, this frankenstein is hot
del Toro:
del Toro: oh
del Toro: i've mentioned this before?
Stoker: i'm so tired of all these hot, hot frankensteins
Stoker: first kenneth branagh, now this
Stoker: it's like, god, everyone's gotta do their stupid sexy fran...
2025-11-17 21:43:40 +0000 UTC
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It's the Fabulous Funnies -- a 1970s cartoon that adapts Alley Oop, the Katzenjammer Kids, and other beloved comics of the last century into the most boring, didactic series you've ever seen. The kids will love it, I guess. It notably does NOT include Tumbleweeds. Hmm. It's awful and we hate it. So naturally we talked about it for two hours, because we kept getting distrac...
2025-11-17 05:00:05 +0000 UTC
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King: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the running man
King: it's about a dystopian future where real people's pain is exploited for television ratings
King: you might even call it
King: reality TV
Koontz: wow! this sounds cool!
Koontz: i just have one question
King: what's that, dean?
Koontz: why isn't Pennywise in this?
King:
Koontz: you know, pennywise the dancing clown
King: i am aware of who pennywise is...
2025-11-15 20:44:20 +0000 UTC
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Joe Hill: but if you think THAT'S scary
Hill: wait until you hear about the tale of the black phone 2
Hill: oh hero, named Finn
Hill: like Stranger Things!
Hill: is now in the 80s
Hill: like Stranger Things!
Hill: but get ready
Hill: cuz the sequel is going to be even more KING-ESQUE
Barker: does it take place in maine
Hill: NO
Hill: i mean that it harnesses the power of modern American myth-making
Barker:
Hill: there's a girl on a horse
Hill: ther...
2025-11-14 19:46:46 +0000 UTC
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Stephen King: okay guys today my boy joe is going to tell a story
King: and we're all gonna give him our full attention okay?
Barker: sure
King: and we're gonna act like it's really great, okay?
King: because it is really great!
King: you'll love this story
King: now joe, he's a chip off the ol' block
Joe Hill: dad please stop
Hill: i need to find my own voice
Hill: i don't want everyone thinking i'm just a nepo baby
King: i'm sorry joe
King: i'm just so pr...
2025-11-13 20:34:48 +0000 UTC
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King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the
Elon Musk [rising out of bushes]: eyyyy stephano king Musk: itsa me, elon!
Barker: hey it's your pal
King: he's not my pal!!
Barker: look everyone it's steve's pal
Poe: that's enough clive
Poe: you're going too far
King: elon why are you here? shouldn't you be back at tesla?
King: you know, running things?
King: earning that trillion dollar bonus?
Musk: eyyy i can't go back to t...
2025-11-12 21:18:56 +0000 UTC
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It's the Fabulous Funnies -- a 1970s cartoon that adapts Alley Oop, the Katzenjammer Kids, and other beloved comics of the last century into the most boring, didactic series you've ever seen. The kids will love it, I guess. It notably does NOT include Tumbleweeds. Hmm. It's awful and we hate it. So naturally we talked about it for two hours, because we kept getting distrac...
2025-11-10 05:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyyy Stephano king
King: oh criminy
King: this again
King: is there no one who will rid me of this vexing trillionaire
Joyce Carol Oates:
Oates: they should abolish same height marriage
Oates: temperature is just a theory
Oates: less cheese on things
Musk: eyyy she posta da crazy talk!
Musk: she no a great poster lika me
Musk: da long cat issa long!
Musk: whatsa dat?
...
2025-11-09 17:52:01 +0000 UTC
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Episode Summary
It's HP Lovecraft’s turn, so he tells a story about a town with a dark secret that is almost certainly “There’s a squid”.
Episode Notes
It's HP Lovecraft’s turn and nobody can stop it, so he tells a story about a town whose sinister residents guard a dark secret that is almost certainly “There’s a squid”. Howard and Mary go head-to-head in a high-stakes bet.
Stephen King: hey guys guess what?
King: the blue wave is back!🌊🌊🌊
King: it's curtains for DRUMP!
King: end of the line for mango mussolini!
King: no more orange julius caesar!
King: i haven't been so excited since we finally defeated bu$hitler back in '09!
HP Lovecraft: now i don't usually pay a lot of attention to New york city
Lovecraft: that seething, teeming metropolis
Lovecraft: which i have been told is filthy with asiatics and saracens
Lo...
2025-11-06 18:47:38 +0000 UTC
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Clive Barker: hey steve where's your friend elon
Stephen King: he's not my friend
Barker: yeah sure so where is he?
Barker: haven't seen him allllll day
Barker: wonder what's up with that
Barker: sure hope he's not having a bad time
Barker: ha ha ha ha
[twitter headquarters]
Elon Musk: eyyyy itsa me, elon musk!
Musk: eyyyy New York you gotta electa cuomo to sava western civilization, capiche?
Musk: i endorsa cuomo!
Musk: anna my endorsement, mama ...
2025-11-05 19:22:34 +0000 UTC
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Brom: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of slewfoot
Brom: it's about this puritan woman who befriends a devil named samson
Barker: why's it called slewfoot, then?
Brom: because
Brom:
Brom: because fuck you, that's why
Brom: so there's this puritan village
Brom: and let me tell you
Brom: puritans FUCKING SUCKKKK
Brom: they're such a bunch of buzz kills
Brom: all they want to do is pray and be austere
Brom: and...
2025-11-04 19:19:19 +0000 UTC
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just a helpful reminder
2025-11-03 18:00:13 +0000 UTC
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Since I mostly only post Midnight Pals stuff here on my Patreon, I don't know how familiar some of you might be with my other projects. So you may not know that I also have a regular weekly podcast with my good friend Ethan! We mostly do it for fun, so I keep forgetting it's a thing XP Anyway, I figured I might as well also post that here, just so those of you who can't get enough of Bitter Karella's BLATHERING can hear me doing more of it!
In theory, the podcast is about comic strips...
2025-11-03 05:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Vivian Moira Valentine: [descending into frame on a black parasol] hello lovelies of the night!
Valentine: I've got a fun flirty little tale for you, as sweet and spooky as a dark chocolate truffle
King: wow! i don't know what this is, but i'm sold!
Valentine: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the shadows over ravenskirk
Valentine: it takes place in ravenkirk, the gothiest town
Aaron Alexovich: it couldn't be THAT gothy
Valentine:...
2025-11-02 17:00:13 +0000 UTC
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Very excited to announce that, in honor of the holiest day of the year (Halloween), Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals: The Podcast is BACK, with a special Halloween treat -- the pals finally get back at those bullies over at Clarion West! We had a long hiatus due to real world badness, but glad to finally get back on track! Give it a listen if you like to laugh, cuz I think this one's got some good stuff... including guest appearances from Greg Bear and Harlan Ellison!
2025-10-31 20:33:43 +0000 UTC
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[at unicorn fuck club]
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy it'sa me, elon!
JRR Tolkien: elon musk?!
Tolkien: my word! I don't think we've ever had you at OUR campfire before!
Tolkien: you're usually over there with that
Tolkien: [grumbling] midnight society
Tolkien: it's just that you're usually hanging out with Stephen king
Musk: si, Stephano king anna me
Musk: we havin a kinda, how you say, break?
GRR Martin: oooo trouble in paradise!
Musk: non non non ...
2025-10-30 16:00:16 +0000 UTC
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Whitley Strieber: welcome back, grey wolves, to the dreamland with whitley Strieber
Strieber: the podcast that asks the questions the Bilderberg illuminati reverse vampires don’t want you to ask
Strieber: remember: the truth is out there!
Strieber: keep watching the skies!
Strieber: i want to believe!
Strieber: trust no one!
Strieber: today we've got a revelation that's gonna really blow your minds
Strieber: i'm here today with Guillermo del Toro
del Toro: who rep...
2025-10-28 16:00:18 +0000 UTC
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Just a little announcement that I'll be at the One Year Anniversary for Sacramento's Bloodstone Books on Nov. 1. I'll be on a panel with cool authors like Tara Sim and Hironn Ennes! Check the link below for more info:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DPj8ZagAYvY/
2025-10-27 19:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Hailey Piper: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the game in yellow
Piper: what if there was a book that, if you read it, it made you go insane
Piper: but also it made you super horny
Piper: would you take that chance?
Barker: i don't know why you're even asking lol
Piper: look, has it ever happened that you find you've exhausted all the pleasures of this world
Piper: and you're just desperate for some new thrill
Piper: some dan...
2025-10-26 15:47:37 +0000 UTC
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Charlie Jane Anders: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lessons in magic and disaster
Anders: sometimes having a relationship with your parents is difficult
Joe Hill: don't i know it!
Stephen King: what's that, joe?
Hill: nothing
Anders: sometimes a relationship w your parents is like being on the conveyer belt in the classic movie Toy Story 3
Anders: but what if you could connect to your parents with magic?
Hill: you mean m...
2025-10-23 16:00:19 +0000 UTC
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