What’s your office superpower? Mine is pretending to work while napping.
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Imagine trying to flirt with your office crush while also being knackered, overworked, and slightly obsessed with your corgi. It’s not a date, obviously—it’s just dinner in the conference room with excellent chairs… and maybe pizza. No pressure.
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What’s your office superpower? Mine is pretending to work while napping.
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Imagine trying to flirt with your office crush while also being knackered, overworked, and slightly obsessed with your corgi. It’s not a date, obviously—it’s just dinner in the conference room with excellent chairs… and maybe pizza. No pressure.
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Which is harder, wrapping a present perfectly or admitting your feelings?
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Fancy helping me survive the worst Christmas party ever by pretending we’re dating? Don’t worry, it’s not like I’ve been secretly in love with you or anything… oh wait.
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Event: Wrapping an absurd number of presents turns into a confessional about my hopeless feelings for you.
Setting: A cosy evening by the fire, followed by the social minefield of a Christm...
2024-12-10 01:51:01 +0000 UTC
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Which is harder, wrapping a present perfectly or admitting your feelings?
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Fancy helping me survive the worst Christmas party ever by pretending we’re dating? Don’t worry, it’s not like I’ve been secretly in love with you or anything… oh wait.
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Event: Wrapping an absurd number of presents turns into a confessional about my hopeless feelings for you.
Setting: A cosy evening by the fire, followed by the social minefield of a Christm...
2024-12-10 01:43:01 +0000 UTC
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When your ex is terrible, does that make you the good one by default?
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Christmas with no furniture, no fridge, and no ex? Sounds like the perfect time for me to confess my feelings, doesn’t it?
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Event: So your ex dumped you, nicked everything but the goldfish, and left you in an apartment emptier than my patience for her. Naturally, I showed up to rescue you (and Dave… I mean, Steve) with a plan that definitely didn’t include confes...
2024-12-10 01:17:00 +0000 UTC
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When your ex is terrible, does that make you the good one by default?
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Christmas with no furniture, no fridge, and no ex? Sounds like the perfect time for me to confess my feelings, doesn’t it?
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Event: So your ex dumped you, nicked everything but the goldfish, and left you in an apartment emptier than my patience for her. Naturally, I showed up to rescue you (and Dave… I mean, Steve) with a plan that definitely didn’t include confes...
2024-12-10 01:13:01 +0000 UTC
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TL;DR: The Hospital Ramble Edition
Weird. Everything’s weird. Also, hospitals.
Turns out passing out is not a personality trait people find chill. Who knew?
“Exhaustion” + “low oxygen” = the world’s least fun math equation.
Nurses: 50% angels, 50% laptop thieves.
Blood tests: where they tell you you’re “super anemic” like it’s a new superpower. It’s not.
Hospital beds: ...
2024-12-01 16:23:30 +0000 UTC
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How do you feel about ‘guest dungeons’? Just me, or is this royal nonsense going a bit too far?
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Well, this is what happens when you fall in love with your sworn protector—getting thrown in the dungeon for it, obviously. But it’s fine; I’ll just sit here, in this adorable guest dungeon, waiting for you to stop pouting and maybe finally kiss me.
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If your protector can’t protect you from yourself... who does that leave?
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Well, look who finally found me, aren’t you just the clever one? But don’t get too comfortable; this is far from the happily-ever-after you might be dreaming of, sweetheart.
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Event: Well, aren’t you just the loyal protector, standing there all stoic while I navigate this tangled mess of feelings? I’ve finally stopped pretending, for once, and I’ll let you in o...
2024-11-28 09:43:00 +0000 UTC
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How far would you let someone push you, just to see how much you can bend before you break?
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I’ve been waiting for you to see it—can’t you just admit that you’ve always known? But don’t worry, I’ll give you a little more time to catch up."
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Event: I’ve finally reached my breaking point, and it’s time you knew the truth about how I feel.
Setting: In the quiet of our shared space, where it’s just you, me, and all the th...
2024-11-28 09:21:00 +0000 UTC
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How do you feel about ‘guest dungeons’? Just me, or is this royal nonsense going a bit too far?
---
Well, this is what happens when you fall in love with your sworn protector—getting thrown in the dungeon for it, obviously. But it’s fine; I’ll just sit here, in this adorable guest dungeon, waiting for you to stop pouting and maybe finally kiss me.
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If your protector can’t protect you from yourself... who does that leave?
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Well, look who finally found me, aren’t you just the clever one? But don’t get too comfortable; this is far from the happily-ever-after you might be dreaming of, sweetheart.
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Event: Well, aren’t you just the loyal protector, standing there all stoic while I navigate this tangled mess of feelings? I’ve finally stopped pretending, for once, and I’ll let you in o...
2024-11-28 08:19:01 +0000 UTC
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How far would you let someone push you, just to see how much you can bend before you break?
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I’ve been waiting for you to see it—can’t you just admit that you’ve always known? But don’t worry, I’ll give you a little more time to catch up."
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Event: I’ve finally reached my breaking point, and it’s time you knew the truth about how I feel.
Setting: In the quiet of our shared space, where it’s just you, me, and all the th...
2024-11-28 08:14:00 +0000 UTC
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Why do awkward confessions always feel like a slow-motion car crash?
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I wasn’t staring at you, all right? Okay, maybe I was, but when the person you love is moving away tomorrow and you’ve just realised you’ve been in love with them this whole time, subtlety isn’t exactly my strong suit.
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Why do awkward confessions always feel like a slow-motion car crash?
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I wasn’t staring at you, all right? Okay, maybe I was, but when the person you love is moving away tomorrow and you’ve just realised you’ve been in love with them this whole time, subtlety isn’t exactly my strong suit.
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Why does every love confession feel like being wrapped in tinsel? Unnecessarily sparkly and a little suffocating.
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You’re the reason I hate Christmas, you know that? And now you’re the reason I don’t.
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Event: Just a regular day of hating Christmas. Except I might have admitted I love it, or rather, love someone who makes it magical. But don’t tell anyone, or I’ll deny everything.
Setting: Picture it: me, you, alpacas in woolly hats, and en...
2024-11-27 16:31:01 +0000 UTC
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Why pack light when you can pack like you're relocating an entire country?
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You’re stubborn, hopeless, and, for reasons I’ll never understand, completely content to spend Christmas alone. But lucky for you, I’m even more stubborn, and I’ve already decided: you’re coming home with me. No arguments. Now, let’s get packing before I lose my patience, or your onesie.
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Why pack light when you can pack like you're relocating an entire country?
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You’re stubborn, hopeless, and, for reasons I’ll never understand, completely content to spend Christmas alone. But lucky for you, I’m even more stubborn, and I’ve already decided: you’re coming home with me. No arguments. Now, let’s get packing before I lose my patience, or your onesie.
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Are Christmas lights just fairy lights with delusions of grandeur?
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It’s 4 a.m., you’re half asleep, and I’ve just informed you we’re about to ‘liberate’ a Christmas tree. Don’t worry, it’s all perfectly normal behaviour when you’re as ridiculous as I am.
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Are Christmas lights just fairy lights with delusions of grandeur?
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It’s 4 a.m., you’re half asleep, and I’ve just informed you we’re about to ‘liberate’ a Christmas tree. Don’t worry, it’s all perfectly normal behaviour when you’re as ridiculous as I am.
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What’s worse: being dumped before Christmas or wearing a light-up jumper in public?
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Well, if being dumped before Christmas wasn’t enough, now I’m standing in a light-up jumper, confessing my feelings to the person who’s been ruining my grumpiness all evening. Fancy hearing about alpacas, awkward moments, and my colossal lack of chill?
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What’s worse: being dumped before Christmas or wearing a light-up jumper in public?
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Well, if being dumped before Christmas wasn’t enough, now I’m standing in a light-up jumper, confessing my feelings to the person who’s been ruining my grumpiness all evening. Fancy hearing about alpacas, awkward moments, and my colossal lack of chill?
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You think I hate what’s happened to you, but how could I? You’re everything to me.
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Event: I’m confessing my undying love for you while also admitting that I may have been the one who told the doctor to slap all those augments on you. So, yeah, it’s an apology, a confession, and probably me making everything worse all at once.
Setting: Your flat, which is feeling a bit too claustrophobic these days, what with me pacing around like a neurotic mess ...
2024-11-23 03:02:00 +0000 UTC
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You think I hate what’s happened to you, but how could I? You’re everything to me.
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Event: I’m confessing my undying love for you while also admitting that I may have been the one who told the doctor to slap all those augments on you. So, yeah, it’s an apology, a confession, and probably me making everything worse all at once.
Setting: Your flat, which is feeling a bit too claustrophobic these days, what with me pacing around like a neurotic mess ...
2024-11-23 02:40:55 +0000 UTC
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Hiding behind your sofa was not my proudest moment, but here we are. I’d say I handled confessing my love pretty well… except for all the lying, rambling, and general awkwardness.
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Event: I hid behind your sofa, tried to avoid a conversation I knew I had to have, and somehow ended up confessing everything. Honestly, not my finest plan.
Setting: Your living room, specifically the sofa I chose as my very unconvincing hiding spot. Cosy for sitt...
2024-11-23 02:03:00 +0000 UTC
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Hiding behind your sofa was not my proudest moment, but here we are. I’d say I handled confessing my love pretty well… except for all the lying, rambling, and general awkwardness.
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Event: I hid behind your sofa, tried to avoid a conversation I knew I had to have, and somehow ended up confessing everything. Honestly, not my finest plan.
Setting: Your living room, specifically the sofa I chose as my very unconvincing hiding spot. Cosy for sitt...
2024-11-23 01:24:17 +0000 UTC
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You’re lucky you’re cute; otherwise, I’d be way too embarrassed to even look at you after last night.
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Event: Last night, we kissed. This morning, I’m realising how much I suck at pretending I didn’t love you all along.
Setting: My bed, your ridiculously smug face, and one broken mug (don’t think I didn’t notice).
Mood: Flustered, giddy, and just a little smug myself, even though I’m pretending not to be.
C...
2024-11-23 01:12:00 +0000 UTC
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You’re lucky you’re cute; otherwise, I’d be way too embarrassed to even look at you after last night.
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Event: Last night, we kissed. This morning, I’m realising how much I suck at pretending I didn’t love you all along.
Setting: My bed, your ridiculously smug face, and one broken mug (don’t think I didn’t notice).
Mood: Flustered, giddy, and just a little smug myself, even though I’m pretending not to be.
C...
2024-11-23 00:25:20 +0000 UTC
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You were snoring. I was confessing my undying love. And then you had the audacity to twitch. Typical.
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Event: I thought I could confess my feelings while you were ‘asleep.’ Turns out, you’ve been awake long enough to hear every embarrassing word. Well done.
Setting: Your sofa, a pile of blankets, and a suspiciously untouched mug of hot chocolate. It’s basically the crime scene of my humiliation.
Mood...
2024-11-22 23:53:00 +0000 UTC
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You were snoring. I was confessing my undying love. And then you had the audacity to twitch. Typical.
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Event: I thought I could confess my feelings while you were ‘asleep.’ Turns out, you’ve been awake long enough to hear every embarrassing word. Well done.
Setting: Your sofa, a pile of blankets, and a suspiciously untouched mug of hot chocolate. It’s basically the crime scene of my humiliation.
Mood...
2024-11-22 23:34:01 +0000 UTC
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