intertwining

garden of the subconscious

the subconscious is endlessly fascinating to me. i have been thinking of how we blame others for doing things, when the majority of the time they are unconsciously enacting something and it is not even “them” that is doing anything. so what if we were to take total responsibility? this doesn’t mean getting walked all over. but more, seeing things clearly through discernment. perhaps it is more rare for people to outwardly and maliciously do harm. most of the time it seems that things ar...

you suppose

You suppose you are the trouble.

But you are the cure.

You suppose that you are the lock on the door.

But you are the key that opens it.

***

bill durgin and i, in the studio.

and become

make love to the mystery

it’s all a mystery

paschimottanāsana

sun. (son).

and secret bliss.

in plain view. (see)?

the emergence…

the air. the spaciousness.

obvious. glittering.

the hidden fire within…

***

self, photographed by austin bell.

sand dunes

self, photographed by austin bell.

03.16.24

the lady bug.

the face of the moon.

the wailing tree frog.

mary, the mountain.

sutra iii

this body is not me

i am not limited by this body

im life without boundaries

i’ve never been bound

and i have never died

look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars

manifestations from my wonderous true mind

since before time i have been free

birth and death are only doors through which we pass

though which we pass sacred thresholds on our journey

birth and death are a game of hide and seek

so laugh and smile w...

study, see

study yourself,

find how you heal,

and then help

other people

mother and father on an early march morning

i am a voyeur

to those who birthed

me, i witness

him with a body

that has softened

been cut open

and sewed back

together again

and again now

he stands, enclosed

by white briefs

his body illuminated

by molten light

and she with golden curls

ruby lips and the gray suit

enduring, so beautiful!

a power that arises

from darkness

guiding him guiding him

who cannot see

homage to the root, the door

the foundation was destroyed

to be rebuilt with awareness… to be illuminated. unbound. bound. unbound—

to be healed. to be loved. to be established in the eternal.

boundary

the boundary i have created

is between me and me.

in renunciation of that boundary

there is liberation.

full moon in virgo.

the beautiful ania. grateful for it all. 🌕🫀✨

cyclical

fox love: series + musings on the body

when i was taking these photos, a lot of body insecurity was expressed. she was constantly criticizing herself, and even asked if i could edit out her insecurities. i said no, i never do that. the body is perfectly imperfect. she kept criticizing herself, despite my reassurances. her partner was mostly silent, compassionately witnessing her and holding space for her to move through the process. i encouraged her, and told her that i see her as a goddess. i told her how many people are very ins...

poem + preview from a new series.

2-8-24 //

‘emergence from the darkest part of winter’

we sing in the belly

of the beast

we dance in the mouth

of the monster

we pray with demons

seeing divinity disguised

we love

and we love

and we love

against all odds

sunrise this morning + reminders from friends.

2-6-24 / self portraits this morning at dawn.

i have been reflecting in meditation on kindness + self love… words that are so common that they can feel empty, yet the actions are immeasurably powerful. without these, there is no harmony. inner or outer. and then there is forgiveness, but that’s for another post…

i forget… i learn. i fall. i get up. again. it is like Yoga āsana, which constantly astounds me with its endless depth + mirroring of Life.

i was with a f...

hypnagogia

cerebral one

you think

it is over

at the beginning

you fall

asleep

on the threshold

clever, full

of mischief

like the fox

the fox

the fox

wake up!

that love is all there is.

full moon remnants

trust in

the body’s Wisdom

all will be

let go

at its own

Time

non-linear time + sacrifice

“Once connected with the inner guru, often the message or call to action is daunting, a radical shift is required, something must be abandoned that we fear losing, something terrifying we need to grow must be faced.

Since one thing is tied to everything, the entire edifice of our personality must be overhauled and expanded to integrate disavowed and lost parts of ourselves. We are an ever expanding mandala. Stasis is death.

Once we heed the diamond queen'...

in the meadow again, writings on wrath

the wrathful energy is an intense fast moving energy. it is anger without hatred. it is calling.

what is it that transforms anger into fast moving compassion?

that vision which blooms through endurance

"When you have that vision, a calling and you feel you cant live without pursuing it, then you have to do everything you can to magnify the gift that you have. And its going to cost you, you have to be willing to sacrifice, you have to be willing to work really hard, you have to be willing to perhaps go years or quite a long time without recognition, without acknowledgement and in the face of all that you have to maintain your visionous vision.

To be a real artist, at least the way I lo...

giving and taking

Tonglen is Tibetan for 'giving and taking' (or sending and receiving), and refers to a meditation practice found in Tibetan Buddhism. Tong means "giving, sending", and len means "receiving, taking". Tonglen is also known as exchanging self with other.

Today in meditation practice I was struggling due to my own confusion. Confusion in not remembering who I really am. Spontaneously I began tonglen. Inhaling the confusion about our true nature, as a constricted ball of black s...