Kinkradio

~June 2023 AMA~

Thank you all everyone for your lovely questions!

~Paper Bound—A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens: Part 2~

The first Spirit visits Scrooge, and shows him visions of the past.

I apologize for the shorter length, but the story is only five parts, and I want to have one audio for each part! Thank you all for understanding!

~Detroit: Become Human: Connor X Listener SFW: Community~{Patreon Exclusive}

Connor's first Pride event couldn't have gone better in your eyes....

Contains: Pride Events, Queer Euphoria, Established Relationship, Talking about Queer Community

I just wanted the little guy to have never been to a Pride event before! That was one of the main motivations of this script lol. I threw in some of my own experiences with how I've felt going to Pride events as an adult (wasn't allowed to go until I moved out of my parent's house), and I also tried to connect them a little bit to the Detroit universe with Androids integrating with humans! I hope you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Connor: *Door opens*

*deep exhale*

That was……wonderful.

*door closes*

I almost didn’t want that to end. What a way to celebrate!

*kiss*

Thank you……

*pause*

How do I feel now that I’ve officially been to my first Pride Event?

*long pause*

No it’s good feeling, Darling, I promise……I just……I think I feel……lighter? If that makes sense?

Almost…..invigorated?

*pause*

Oh, yes,  the roses the other couple gave us! That was so incredibly sweet……

Here, I’ll grab a vase for them, we can get some flower food later tonight or tomorrow to make them last longer…..

And the little pride flag is so cute! I think it will look great on the dining room table……

*chuckles*

Yes! I can’t stop smiling! All of the colors and the amount of people. I mean, I know from statistics that the Detroit LGBTQIA+ Community is quite large, so it makes logical sense that a Pride Event would be at the scale that it was ... but it’s an entirely different thing when you’re in the middle of it, right?

*pause*

The parade, and all of the performers—who were fantastic weren’t they?—It’s amazing the effort they put into things like this, especially with the summer weather! It can’t be easy…….

And to see so many smiles and happy people *gasp* and all of the dogs! So many happy dogs with their families.

*pause*

I suppose……something about stepping out into a giant crowd of people and feeling like…..you belong…….is so absolutely freeing…….

Feeling it on that scale…..it’s something I’ve never experienced…….

We didn’t have to worry about how anyone was going to react and I didn’t feel like I was going to have to defend us…..defend you…..and…….

It was like I could feel the tension I didn’t even realize I had, just…..disappear…..

*pause*

The community……I suppose is what I was feeling, wasn’t it? It didn’t matter who you were…..you just….belonged…..

Truly something that I haven’t felt before….

Thank you…..so much……I genuinely can’t thank you enough for bringing me along……

*pause*

*softly*

I love you…….I know I’ve said it a lot today…..there were just so many moments where I would look at you and just……feel this overwhelming force of love coming out of me…..I just couldn’t help but say it…..

*pause*

What about you? What were some of your favorite things?

*long pause*

*chuckles*

I mean, sure! You seeing me enjoy everything for the first time can be your favorite part…..I just hope I didn’t embarrass you with all my gawking

*pause*

*soft kiss*

*exhales softly* I’m glad……

But you agree? The community was the best part?

Yes……it’s also…..even though we’re back home now…..just the idea that there are that many people in Detroit alone who are out there……who are part of the community…..or at least allies to it…….*deep sigh* It gives me…….hope…..I think…..

And seeing humans with Androids, and Androids with other Androids too…..it’s just……I suppose this is the balance and peace that Marcus was striving for since the beginning……

I thought I understood it before……but now…….

Thank you, Darling……I honestly can’t say it enough……

*pause*

It makes me want to work harder……because being out with people, with community…..it should always feel like that. We shouldn’t be afraid to go outside and just be……be it Human, or Android……

I want every day to feel like today……..and while I know that’s…..a logical fallacy…..I can’t help but hope……

That even with the ups and downs of life…..that there is no fear in our fellow man……or….machine…..*chuckles*

Only camaraderie…..community……family…..

*pause*

Is that too big of a dream?

*pause*

*chuckles*

Thank you, Sweetheart…….

*deep sigh*

*soft kiss*

Do you think that we could perhaps convince Hank to come next year and bring Sumo? I’m sure he’d love to get all the attention…….and maybe Hank could also use a bit of what we saw today…….

I don’t know….I think we all need a little faith restoring in humanity……

*chuckles*

And you gave it to me in spades…….

*soft kiss* Happy Pride, Darling…..

~June 2023 AMA~

Hey everyone! I'm a silly goose and I forgot to make the post about the AMA this month! For those who are new or who don't know, AMA stands for "ask Me Anything" and it basically means that every month I put a call out for any question patrons might want to ask me, and I make an audio answering those questions! Normally I put this up at the beginning of the month so it gives time for people to come up with questions, so sorry it's so incredibly late! But please, go ahead and ask a question or two if you're interested!

~K PLAYS: God of War (IV): Episode 5: MINES OF MORIA, APPARENTLY~

I was kidding about the Mines of Moria for the most part but it turns out I SHOULDN'T HAVE.

~Upload Schedule~

Hey everyone, just want to let you know that I am working on new stuff, I'm just still healing from a back injury and I'm a little limited on how long I can sit at a chair on any given day.

I know you all will say "take your health into consideration first!" and I am! That's why my upload schedule will be a little slower than normal, but I am getting things done! Thanks as always for your well wishes.

~Poll about the Sidon Audio~

Hey everyone. I was just thinking and am curious. Would you like to see a Sidon audio where he's with Link? Or would you want the audio to be X Listener? I'm totally open for either and I think either will work for the theme this month, but I just wanted to see if you all had a preference! 

~Pokemon SW&SH: Raihan X Listener SFW: Together~

If we can't work together and support our fellow Queer people, then what is the point?

Contains: Advice, Comfort, Encouraging Message

At the start of Pride month, I really just wanted to remind people that at the end of the day, whoever you are in the Pride Community, and however you celebrate, you are valid. Infighting is bullshit and it needs to stop because that's exactly what those who want us gone want, because it makes us easier to take down. Together is how we get through this.

(also please ignore that I said "eradification" and not "eradication" lol)

~Audio Transcript Below~

Raihan:

How you doing?

*pause*

Oh.....well that's a shame.....why?

*pause*

*hums*

I see.......

*deep sigh*

I know with all of the commercialization and commodification of Pride, you might think that you need to be loud and combative and angry with everything.....but....that just ain't true.

*pause*

Look, we as a community need to stick together if we're ever gonna make it outta this. The infighting that's going around ain't making anything easier. Being prejudice and exclusionary and 'holier than thou' ain't the vibe, it's childish and roo  ted in the same shite the people who want us gone spout out their fucking face holes.

It ain't going to just stop at trans people. It ain't about that. Just like it wasn't about marriage all those years ago. It's about the systematic eradication of who we are and our way of life, just because it's different from what the people in power think it should be.

That's partially what Pride is really about you know? Living and thriving in a world where in a lot of places we aren't wanted and are openly persecuted.

It don't mean that you have to be loud and proud and shout it from the rooftops to be valid in your identity and to be considered a member of the Queer community. Anyone who says different, is a right arsehole. There ain't no 'right way' to be Queer. Again, the idea that there is, just comes from the same puritanical bullshite our elders worked so hard to get away from.

You decide how to celebrate your Pride. Whether it's just privately to yourself at home or in your heart, or if it's in a glamorous get up riding on a parade float. However it is you do it, is exactly how you should be doin' it. And don't let anyone tell you differently. This world, as much we wish it weren't, is a scary thing, especially with the persecution that's trying to break us down and break us apart and turn against one another. The whole, "there's power in numbers" thing ain't just a gag. It's a real fucking thing. Together is how we get through this.

And in a world so afraid and hateful of things they don't understand or don't care to understand...... what better way to rebel, then to keep on living? Keep on thriving......living as your truthful self......authentically.....whatever way that might be......

We gotta be there for each other....because we do understand. Maybe not exactly, because all experiences are different in some way.....but they're similar enough, and that's enough.

*pause*

You are enough.......I hope you know that.

*pause*

Pride is whatever you need it to be, and I'm here if you need me too.

~Poll Winners!~

This month's poll winners have been decided!!

For the SFW exclusive audios this month, the two winners are:

🎉Connor and Raihan!🎉


As for the NSFW audios, (I shouldn't really be surprised but I'm glad you all are excited about it), the winners are:

🎉Sidon and Trevor!🎉

Thank you all so much for voting, I'm excited for the audios this month and I hope you are as well!

~Pokemon SW & SH:Raihan XM!Listener NSFW: Heat Delirious~

He could smell you even that far away because you belong to him, and he isn't about to let anyone else take what's his.

Contains: Established Bond/Relationship, Possessive Degradation (My Slut, My Whore, Dumb Slut, Stupid Whore, etc), Feminine Descriptors for Genitals (Pussy, Cunt), A/B/O Dynamics, Heat Sex, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Creampie, Breathplay (Choking), Humiliation, Squirting, Multiple Orgasms, Daddy Kink, Knotting, Breeding Kink, RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), Petnames (Good Boy, Little Boy, Baby Boy, Little Prince)

This was a lovely commission where the commissioner wanted to play with A/B/O dynamics as well as Daddy Kink with a trans male listener! This was a fun one since I don't usually have Raihan being a Hard Dom, and the play of possessive degredation mixed with praise was a fun dichotomy to write and perform! I hope you all enjoy!

NOTE: Please read the tags and/or the script before listening. This audio portrays a trans male listener and uses he/him pronouns and masculine petnames, but also uses feminine words to describe his genitals. If that will trigger you or squick you, I would not listen to this audio!


~Audio Transcript Below~

Raihan: *Door Opens*

*panting*

You........

Look at you......pounding your fingers away at your own pussy.....couldn't even wait for me to get back home could you? My slutty Little Boy......

*scents the air*

I ran all the way back here, because I could smell how desperate you were for my cock......

With the amount of 'fuck me' pheromones pouring off of you and your naughty pussy, you're lucky I was the one that got here first.......

Your hands weren't enough, were they? Your body too hot and your pussy too empty.....in need of my cock and my knot......

*growls softly* Why didn't you tell me you were going into heat so soon, Baby Boy? I would have come home......

*pause*

*sighs* Then again.......I should have remembered how brainless my whore gets when his pussy takes control......

That's right......whine in submission......your Alpha is here.....and he's going to make your heat all better......

He's going to fuck you......to lock his knot inside you.....and pump you full of that come you're so fucking desperate for........

How's that sound?

*pause*

Hm? I'm sorry Little Boy I couldn't quite hear you........

*groans softly*

Oh.....so it's like that, isn't it? It must be bad if you're wailing for your Daddy........

*moans*

F-fuck......don't think I didn't see that, Love......

*lowly*

I saw your cunt tense and leak as if I'm already inside you.....

Such a good little slut......

Don't worry....Daddy will take care of his brainless Little Boy......

After all.....that's what Daddies do best....isn't it?

*hums a chuckle* That's right........

Hands off........

*groans softly*

Good boy.....such a good boy......

Tell Daddy how much you want it. Beg for it.........tell Daddy why he should fuck his Little Whore....

*long pause*

*groans*

Yes......yes.......fuck, Baby Boy........

Daddy's gonna fuck you so fucking good.....

I'm gonna lock my knot inside you and come so hard you'll forget everything but the word, "Daddy".......

*growls softly* Oh I'll make sure of it......

Now, put your hands at your sides and keep them there while I undress.......you've already touched what's mine enough.......

*shuffling*

*pause*

Exactly.....and look where touching my pussy got you......nowhere.......

I'm the only one who can soothe the heat......can sate the burning in your veins........

So it belongs to me.....doesn't it?

*pause*

Say it.

Say "My whore pussy belongs to you, Daddy."

*pause*

*groans* F-fuck, Baby Boy........

Such a good slut for Daddy........

*hums* Two of my fingers, to start.....I want to feel exactly how far gone you are.......

*growls* Hush.....you don't get to tell me how to please what's mine......

*wet, squelching noise*

Oh, f-fuck........Baby Boy.....your pussy is like a fucking furnace......

You're trembling, and your walls are clenching down so much......

So desperate for my knot.....

Listen to you......I haven't even moved them and it's like you're already going to come.......

*pause*

Are you?

*hums*

Well.......since it did take me a bit to get here.....I suppose I can allow you one......to take the edge off.....

*lowly*

But I swear.....that if you come another time without my permission.....I will leave you aching and wanting.....without my knot.....because Good Little Boys do as they're told.......right?

*hums* Right.......Good Boy.....

I'm not going to be gentle either........you don't need gentle......

*fast wet noises*

You need it hard and fast......

You don't need to be made love to......

*lowly*

You need to be bred.

Now come......do as I say and come.

*chuckles*

*wet squirting sound*

*chuckles* Oh....look at you.......you really are so far gone.....squirting just from my fingers.....

Do you understand now? Do you understand how inferior your own fingers are?

Do you see how much you and your pussy belong to me, Baby Boy?

With just two of my fingers, I made you come so hard you squirted.......

*hums* Just another sign of how much I own you......even your cunt knows........

*growls*

What do we say when Daddy gives you something....?

*pause*

*hums, soft kiss* Good Boy.......

It's alright.....I know the heat robs you of your brain........Daddy will make sure to keep reminding you........

Now......hold your legs open........show me what belongs to me......

*groans*

Yes......such a Good Boy......without any hesitation.........

*shuffling*

I bet if I were to kiss down your legs........you'd come by the time I press my tongue into your cunt......

It wouldn't even have to be that hard.......one light little lick.....and I bet you'd squirt all over again......

So keyed up you are.......so owned by your Daddy....

Aren't you, Little Boy?

*hums*

Yes.........

But I won't.......I already gave you one orgasm with my cock outside of you........I'm not going to allow another one........

Keep holding onto your legs.....I want you to keep presenting yourself to me like my good little whore.......

*hums* That's right.....Daddy's perfect little slut......

*pause*

Yeah.......Daddy's knot is already starting to pop......

*lowly*

That's because you're being such an obedient little Omega.......

*chuckles*

Yeah........

I'm not going to go easy on you.......

I'm going to pound your pussy until you scream and moan loud enough that everyone on the street will know who you belong to.......

*hums into a kiss*

Good boy.....

*harsh thrusting*

*growls*

*through moans*

Ah that's it.......no slow glide in.....no gentle thrusting.....

Just deep.....raw....fucking......

You're going to have bruises on your hips from how hard I'm going to grip them......

I'm going to come so deep inside you that you'll always have part of me inside you.......

*harsh moaning and panting*

Listen.....*chuckles* Listen to you.......listen to how wet and sloppy your pussy already is.......

You'll never be able to hide from me how much you want this.....how much you loves this.....being treated this way.......being Daddy's Little Slut........

You love it, don't you?

*pause*

*groans* Yeah you do......f-fuck yeah you do......

*harsher thrusting and moaning*

*wet squirting sounds*

*thrusts stop*

*growls*

You hush.......

I will squeeze your throat until you can't breathe anymore if that's what it takes you to stop and listen......

*panting*

You just squirted again.......

You remember what I told you earlier.....yes?

*pause*

Was. That. An orgasm?

*pause*

If you're lying.....I will walk away right now......

*pause*

You squirted because you couldn't help it? Because having Daddy pound your pussy felt too good?

*groans* F-fuck.....

Alright.....but this is your last warning.....you do not come until my knot is inside you........

*pause*

What?

Speak up, Baby Boy......

*pause*

You want me to keep my hand on your neck?

You want me to choke you?

*groans sharply and starts thrusting again*

Oh, f-fuck......such a good little whore.....

Of course Daddy will choke you........

*lowly*

Imagine how it will feel when I restrict the blood flow right up until you orgasm on my knot.........

I'd be surprised if you stayed conscious........

*chuckles lowly*

*hard and fast thrusting*

That's it......this is what you needed, isn't it? You've never felt as good as when my cock is fucking into your cunt.....making you wail and your eyes roll back......

Nothing will ever be as good as this, will it?

*growls*

Tell Daddy what you want, Little Boy.......tell him.......

*panting*

*moans sharply, harder thrusts*

Yeah? Is that it? You want Daddy to come in your naughty pussy? You want him to breed you? stretch you with his knot and fill you up with his come?

You want him to mark you as his deep inside? Somewhere no one else can? You want to be his fucked and kept Boy? His Little Prince and his Stupid Whore?

F-fuck.......Daddy will give that to you.......Daddy will give you everything you want.......you're such a Good Boy........f-fuck....sh-shit......your pussy feels so good.......so hot and so fucking wet......f-fuck......I can't wait to stretch you over my knot.....

You feel it? You feel it bumping against you? It's close isn't it? It's so close to being popped into you.....so close to pumping you full of come......

I know you want it......I know you want as much come in there as possible......

I bet you want me to stay locked into you until I'm hard again......and then pump you full over and over and over again.....until it's leaking out of you......

*growls lowly* Maybe I'll flood your cunt enough that it'll make your stomach swell......

Oh~ That's right......I'm going to give that to you.....beg for it......beg for it sweetly enough and I'll finally let you come.......I swear.......I'll make you come harder than you ever have.......

*harsh panting and moaning*

Y-yes.....struggle to tell me while I choke you.....keep going....I want to hear you tell me even though It's hard to speak......hold nothing back.....tell Daddy what you need........

*growls* C-close.....fuck close~

Gonna.....gonna knot you.....n-need to knot your pussy.....breed~! Need to breed you........

*harsh panting*

Alright--fuck--Little Boy.....you have my permission......the second that my knot--oh shit!--finally locks into you is when you can come.....I swear......

Almost there.....almost there.....almost there~!

*harsh growl* Now!

*Heavy moaning growl*

F-fuck, Yes!

*harsh, wet squirting sounds*

Y-yes! Squirt on Daddy's cock while he breeds you.....fuck~!

*harsh panting*

*panting slows*

*grunts softly*

*hushes*

I've got you, Love....I've got you.....I'm not going anywhere.....it's alright......just moving us to a more comfortable position.......

*shifting*

I'm locked in tight.....I promise.....*shudders* I'm not going to leave until you're good and full......

*shuffling on bed*

*deep sigh* There we go.......much more comfortable, eh?

*chuckles*

It's alright.......

*pause*

Did it really come onto you that quickly? I wasn't gone for very long......

*hushes* You don't have to apologize, Baby Boy........it's alright........I'm just sorry I took so long to get back......I bet it felt like you were suffering forever without me.....

*hums*

*soft kiss*

But I've got you, Love.....and I'm not goin' anywhere until your heat is done........

*soft kiss*

Just relax, Sweet Boy, I've got you.......

~June 2023 Bloopers~

Sometimes my anger at people being loud is funny because I've gone past the point of frustration and deep into righteous delirium.

🏳️‍🌈~June 2023 SFW Audio Poll~🏳️‍🌈

It's finally time to pick the character's I'll be portraying for this month's SFW audios, and I've got something special for you all, a new character!! So go ahead and vote down below, and the top two characters will be the ones chosen for the SFW audios this month! Voting will end on Monday, June 5th @ 11:59pm!

🏳️‍🌈~June 2023 NSFW Audio Poll~🏳️‍🌈

It's finally time to pick the character's I'll be portraying for this month's NSFW audios, and I've got something special for you all, a new character!! So go ahead and vote down below, and the top two characters will be the ones chosen for the NSFW audios this month! Voting will end on Monday, June 5th @ 11:59pm!

🏳️‍🌈~June 2023 Monthly Theme: PRIDE~🏳️‍🌈

I'm baaaaaaack!!

If you are new to Patreon or are just rejoining after my hiatus, welcome! 

Every month as always, we have a theme to center our audios around, but as tradition dictates, June is one of the months where it's always the same, and that's because it's Pride Month bay-bee!

As a queer man myself, I always want to celebrate and explore facets of the community, and this is one of the ways that I do that. This month is going to be a place where you can be loud and proud in a safe and supportive space!


Photo by Raphael Renter on Unsplash. 

~Update for the Month of May~

In a continued effort to work on my mental health as well as well as my physical health, I will also be taking time off of Patreon for the month of May. I'll still be leaving this archive up for those who wish to continue support, and for potential new Patrons to access the archive of content I have.

However, I do plan to be back in the month of June! I feel as though I will be more used to the life adjustments I've made and I'll be able to come back ready to create! 

As always I thank everyone for their kind messages as well as their support! 

~NEW PATRONS COMING IN PLEASE READ~

Hello new Patrons! This is just a notice to let you know that I am currently on a Mental Health Hiatus, and new content will be very sparing over the next possible months. I appreciate you wanting to support me, but I just want everyone coming in to understand that you will be gaining access to the archive of the audios and other content that I've created over the past several years. If that sounds like something that you would like to have, then please go ahead! However, I want to be up front with those who might not be aware that I am taking a break and trying to get better after a big low in my mental health. I also just want you to know what to expect! Thank you everyone for your support and if you do decide to subscribe, I hope you enjoy!

~March 2023 AMA: Also Talking About Patreon Going Forward~

Thank you much as always everyone for your support and I appreciate you greatly

~Another Mental Health Update~

I just wanted to give you all a little update on my mental health and everything.

So I'm officially 1 week on medication, and while I know the effects won't be really noticeable (or if any at all with this specific medication) until about a month in, I'm hopeful that they will work for me.

I talked to my therapist and I think we kind of worked out why I'm having some of the worst mental health of my life right now. 

I think that all of the things that I've been peripherally stressing over, (money, deadlines, appointments, other commitments etc.) finally all hit me at once, especially with the Executive Dysfunction making me near unable to do any work at all. The threat of looming deadlines that I wasn't gonna be able to meet but needed to meet to continue to make money just finally sent me into a mental break.

My therapist also reminded me that this is the first time in my life I've experienced Executive Dysfunction to this degree when not masking and not having anxiety as my main coping mechanism. We've learned through 2 years of therapy that the reason I had crippling clinical anxiety was mostly because it was being used as a coping mechanism for undiagnosed ADHD.

So a combination of all of these things and my brain just said, "Nope, I literally can't." and while I've been trying to manage and navigate my ADHD by non medicinal needs, I reached a point where I knew I needed more help. The Executive Dysfunction started to encroach upon my hobbies, and who knows when it would encroach on me trying to take care of myself or my dog.

I guess the long and short of this update is, is that I'm still having a hard time getting work done. The mental block is so strong that I can maybe get a small piece of work done every day. I try to takes these small victories, but they feel empty when the looming threat of the end of the month is coming down on me.

I want to continue to create audios. I love doing it, and honestly, I need to continue to do so to be able to, you know, live. I'm trying, I'm really really trying my best to do as much work as I can, and I know I always ask and thank you for your patience and support, but truly, you all are so very kind to me.

And I guess the truth of the matter is, and maybe I've been stalling a little bit, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get all of the audios/content I've promised as tier goals out in the next week. I'm going to try my hardest to get as much done as I can, but I don't want to exacerbate my mental health too much in the already fragile state that I'm in. 

I'm just sort of at a loss as to what I'm going to be able to accomplish on Patreon for the foreseeable future. I don't want people to sign up or continue their subscription to me with me unable to produce the amount of content they might expect/I've promised in my tier descriptions. But I also recognize that there are a lot of people out there who care about me and my wellbeing and will continue to support me anyways, and from the bottom of my heart I cannot thank you enough.

However, I understand completely if you as a Patron would like to delete your pledge until my mental health is better. I don't want anyone to feel as though they're going to be cheated, or that they feel obligated to continue to support me at this time. There is never an obligation.

Thank you everyone, and I'm sorry for how long this is, but as always I want to be truthful to you all, even though it's really scary, and I keep having fears that I'm going to wake up and everything I've worked for in the past 5 or so years is going to be gone. Please take the time to take care of yourselves and listen to your mind and your body. Treat yourselves with kindness and grace because you deserve it. 

~Mental Health~

So in the past month or so, my mental health has really been deteriorating, especially within the last two weeks. My ADHD has seriously been kicking my ass and to be truthful, I've been able to do very little work.

I've been trying my best to do what I can, but it's reached a head, so much so that I actually went to the doctor's and got prescribed ADHD and Anti-Depressant medication today. Hopefully it will help me, and I'll be able to continue to do this as my job because I genuinely do love doing it, but I've want to be transparent and I'm trying to get better at telling people that I'm not ok.

It's gonna take me a bit to get used to the meds, but I will be doing my best to fulfill all of my obligations here on Patreon. Thank you as always for your love and support.

~That newest Connor Audio~

I know you might be confused about that new Connor audio disappearing. I want to say that I removed it because it was a commission, and I misread my notes about whether the commissioner wanted it to be shared.  That is my fault and I wanted to make it right.

I will absolutely make it a priority to double check with commissioners going forward before I post a commission of theirs to be sure that this doesn't happen again. Thank you for understanding.

~K PLAYS: God of War (IV): Episode 4: I'M NOT GOOD AT PUZZLES~

When I'm under pressure and I know someone is going to be watching me, suddenly I've forgotten every piece of knowledge I have when it comes to solving problems lol

~Pokemon SW & SH: Leon X Listener SFW: A Walk~{Patreon Exclusive}

Sometimes you just gotta take your stupid mental health walks.

Contains: Comfort, Advice, Mental Health Aide

Honestly the worse thing about mental health walks is that they work lol. I am always one for comfort, but sometimes doing something for yourself is getting up out of the possible depression mess you made and go on a walk, even if it's only five minutes long. You'll find that the fresh air will in fact do you good, and maybe that will push you to go longer. Easy movement, along with outside air really can help your brain. Sometimes self care is hard and working to try to actively help yourself, but you don't need to do it alone. I hope you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Leon:  I know one might think that it's silly and that an hour spent outside isn't going to help, but honestly, I promise, once we're about halfway through you'll find yourself feeling at least a little better.

Besides, we can go at our own pace. Don't have to treat it like a race or anything.

*pause*

Oh yes, I am very much not a fan of those who turn walking into a sport when you just want to spend time with them outside. Or hiking. There are some people I know who have a very different definition of hiking than me.

They just want to get to the highest place or the 'destination' as quickly as possible. Me? I get too distracted doing that. I want to talk, and to maybe stop and have a snack, look at a bug or a cool rock or some plants that we pass by. That's why I'm walking.

*pause*

One would think so, yeah? But there was a time in my life where most everything was about winning or being a winner, so I'm trying to focus more on slowing down, as it were.

Sometimes people need to literally stop and smell the roses.

*pause*

It's like......everything for some reason, especially in bigger cities, seems like it's 'go go go', how can we travel faster, how can we eat faster, how can we be faster, and as cool as a lot of modern technologies have become, and I may sound like an old man for saying this, sometimes I just need a break from the......productivity of it all?

Walks help me find the small things to appreciate every day, things in my life that I notice that make me smile. Like.....a sticker being put on a lamp post where it shouldn't be that caught my attention. The particular color of a flower that I thought was nice. It helps come back to ourselves......instead of being trapped in this....single minded march towards progress and productivity.

I think it goes hand in hand with the walking. While stopping, slowing down and keeping things at your own pace helps you stay present with yourself, going out and walking and moving helps us from being too much in ourselves....you know....wallowing......

It's all a delicate balance, really.....

*pause*

*chuckles* Oh I know.....people call me stupid, and I may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch.....I like to think I've figured out a thing or two.

*pause*

*laughs*

And even if it turns out you hate the walking, at least the fresh air....and the company.....will have done you good.

~March 2023 Bloopers~

I would say play a drinking game if you're listening to all my bloopers and take a drink when you hear an airplane or hear me complain about a plane but I don't want people to get hurt so maybe not lol.

~Discord Invite~

I'm so sorry that I forgot to do this last month! 

All Patrons are welcome to join the Patreon Discord server! We have many channels where we talk and share a plethora of things, including art, fandoms, cosplay, etc. This is also a good place for more immediate updates about what's going on for the Patreon! Be sure to use the link before 7 days since it will expire at that time!

https://discord.gg/5fTyA2my

~March 2023 AMA~

Even though I'm in control this month, you still can ask my any questions you like! 

If you're new and/or don't know what an AMA is, it's really simple!:

Just as the name suggest, this is an open call to my Patrons to ask me any question they might have (and while of course, I am fairly open, please be respectful) and I will answer them an release an audio of the answers for you all at the end of the month! This gives you time to think of a question, and give us enough time for a nice long audio where I ramble lol.

And that's about it! I hope you all have a lovely month, and remember to leave your questions in the comments down below this post!

March 2023 Theme: Kinkradio is in Control!

That's right, I'm here once again to take the reigns and run with them! It's been a bit since I did this last, so I thought I'd do it again! 

So basically, if you are new or don't quite remember, for this theme, I'm going to be making the decisions for everything! No real theme, and I get to decide which characters I'm going to be voicing! This gives me an opportunity to have a bit more fun and not be totally constrained by a central theme, and it gives me the chance to voice some characters that may not have been picked a lot in the last few months.

I hope you all enjoy this month! Oh! And would you like to know the characters in advance, or have it be a surprise? Please let me know!

~The Witcher: Jaskier X Listener NSFW: A Performance~{Patreon Exclusive}

It's all about self love and a show, isn't it?

Contains: Masturbation, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Slight Creampie Kink, Petnames (Sweet Thing, My Dear, My Sweet, Love, Darling,)  

Ah yes, self love in the form of Masturbation, that works, doesn't it? I thought it would be interesting since I haven't really done this sort of audio with Jaskier before, and I had a good time! I think that he would definitely be into watching and being watched, and sort of being in control of the listener. I hope you all enjoy and thank you all so much for your patience as I got this out!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Jaskier: *soft kissing*

*moans*

*pulls away*

Oh......I see you're quite eager, aren't you?

Well.....I just so happened to not have anything too important going on at the moment, so I would be delighted to foray into the carnal arts with you....

*chuckles*

*shaky moan*

Ah.......right to the point?

*hums*

I'm certainly not complaining.....however.....

*pause*

*chuckles softly*

It's not a bad 'however', My Dear........

We can agree that for the most part…..I am always the one who's "putting on a show", as it were…….

*pause*

I thought it might be fun if we turned the tables for a spell, as it were......

You.....putting on a performance for me.......

*pause*

If you're of a mind.......

*pause*

Oh, you know......

*lowly*

Stripping down fully naked and bringing yourself to orgasm.......

*pause*

To be perfectly honest, My Dear.....the idea of you touching yourself in front of me? Giving yourself pleasure? Wanting me but the only outlet you have is touching yourself?

*swallows*

It's a good one....to say the least......

*chuckles*

It might be a bit of the voyeuristic tendencies I have.......

But.....I also want to see how you pleasure yourself.......want to learn what you like.....how you treat yourself.......

I bet you look amazing......

*pause*

Vulgar? *chuckles* I think that’s what the point is, My Dear……

…..but if you truly don’t want to, we don’t have to, or we can talk about it more in depth when we aren’t in the middle of everything…….

*pause*

Of course……if you’d like to think about it while you get naked, I consider that perfectly fair…….

I’d still like to fool around with you one way or another……..

*long pause*

Never get tired of that view…….I would write sonnets about it were I not selfish enough to want to keep this view just between us…….

*pause*

And the fact that I’m a gentleman and wouldn’t want to exploit you like that, yes……

Another thing I appreciate about you……

You understand what I mean…..

*pause*

You’ve decided?

*pause*

I’m not going to pressure you, My Sweet…..whatever you want….

*pause*

If we try it and you end up not liking it we don’t have to go through with it……I never want to make you uncomfortable……

*pause*

Come here for a moment?

*soft kiss*

You are truly wonderful…..I love you……

*hushed*

Remember…..no pressure…..if you want to stop, simply tell me…..

*soft kiss*

I think the experience might be better if you stand a little bit away from me……so I can take in the entire image of you all at once……

*pause*

*groans softly*

And what an image it is……oh….

Go on……start slow……

*hushes*

No pressure…….

*pause*

You can close your eyes for a bit, if it helps you get out of your head at first…..

Or if you want to set it up like I'm the nasty voyeur who's been watching you and decided he wanted a closer look, we can do that too, I'm open to anything really......

*pause*

Ah.....the voyeur thing?

*pause*

Well I don't have to be nasty in a mean sense......more like.....I thought you were so gorgeous that I just had to keep watching......

*pause*

Because you are gorgeous, My Dear.......

*pause*

*hums*

Is that helping?

Is me telling you how incredible you look with your hand buried between your legs, rubbing and stroking going to help bring you off?

Also that you doing so is one of the most incredibly arousing things I've ever seen in my life?

*hums*

Interesting......

Would you take directions, I wonder? Just to get more praise?

What if I were to tell you to go slightly faster? You don't have to be afraid.....I won't tell anyone that I caught you playing with yourself.......

*chuckles*

Oh good.....you are perfect, My Dear........

You're excellent at following directions, aren't you?

*chuckles*

I think we're going to have fun with this, won't we?

*pause*

It's a little embarrassing, isn't it? You being fully naked, standing before me, panting and moaning and touching yourself for me while I'm fully dressed?

It's such a dichotomy, isn't it?

You putting on a show......

*lowly*

And what a show it is......

*long pause*

Oh.....you want more directions, do you?

My, my.....you're already panting and moaning so much, my Sweet.....

You really like this don't you?

*pause*

Oh, I think you can do better than a nod, can't you?

*lowly* Tell me how much you like it?

*pause*

*groans* Oh.....yes......

*pause*

Trust me, My Dear.....you are not the only one affected by this......

My prick is so hard it's practically begging for escape from my trousers.......

*chuckles*

Oh, you like that too? That me watching you get off is making me hard?

*hums*

Well it's not quite about me right now, My Sweet.....but I do have an idea.....

*shuffling*

*hums*

That's nice.....gets the pressure off....

*chuckles*

I haven't even said anything and your eyes are zeroed in on my cock......

*hums*

How about you tell me what you'd do if you were able to touch me right now......or vice versa......what would you want me to do to you?

Please tell me, Love....

*long pause*

*moans*

Oh....so good.....so naughty.......look at your hand move faster while you tell me all of your dirty fantasies.......

*hums*

I might have to make some of those a reality eventually......

*hushes*

I know, My Sweet......but like I said.....this is about giving yourself pleasure and showing me.......

*pause*

It's also about that forbidden thrill of someone watching you while you're doing something that is considered private......that is considered shameful by some?

It's nice, isn't it?

*pause*

I know, Darling......

*pause*

No….no…..I don’t think I’m going to touch my cock for now……..

What if I wanted to keep it hard for you so that after you orgasm……I can give you another one by making some of your fantasies come true………

Perhaps where I’d fuck you facing the door…..or a mirror so you can look at how far gone and wanton you get when you’re drowning in lust…….

*hums a chuckle*

Wouldn’t that be an incredible sight……

Faster now, My Sweet…….just a little bit…….and use your other hand to caress the rest of your body……I believe it needs some attention too……

*groans* Oh that’s it…..beg……beg for my touch and my cock…….

I know you want me, My Dear……I want you too, I swear……

But doesn’t making it build up give you that much more of a rush? The idea that I’m watching you touch yourself with my cock out, hard and leaking and ready to fuck you make you feel all the more desperate?

It’s intoxicating, isn’t it?

*moans and panting*

It’s not easy for me either, Sweet Thing……I want nothing more than to bend you over and press my cock into you…..thrusting hard and fast and giving you that orgasm you so desperately crave……I know you need it……

I need you too……

*pause*

Oh, but you have to come for me first, Darling……you need to send yourself hurtling off that precipice and I’ll give you anything you want….

Don’t hold anything back……show me how you touch yourself…….show me how you act when you’re so close to coming that it makes your knees tremble……

Can you hear? Can you hear how wet and close you are? Oh it sounds so fucking sweet.....

I can’t wait to come inside you…..

*heavy groan*

Oh fuck, that’s it…….

Come for me. Come for me Darling…….

*moans and pants*

Gods above…..you almost fell to the ground with how powerful your orgasm was…..

Here…..come here love…..I’ve got you, you can take the load off your feet……allow me to hold you……

*pause*

There we are……

*grunts softly*

I must admit that……*swallows* That was quite the show……

Not that I doubted you for a moment, mind you……

*chuckles*

It’s alright…..leave it for now……..

*pause*

How did you enjoy that?

*pause*

Good…..I’m glad…….

And as I said…..it was a wonderful show……I think I even learned a few tricks on what you really like……

*chuckles*

But we can save that for later……you’re still trembling…..

*hisses softly*

It’s alright……I have no doubt that if by some strange occurrence I do happen to go soft in the meantime…..

*lowly*

You’ll help me perk right up again…….

*hums softly into a kiss*

That’s a promise, Sweet Thing……

~The Arcana: Muriel X Listener NSFW: First Time~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Your first time with Muriel is absolutely a special one.

Contains: Fanfic Style Audio, First Time, Fingering, Size Kink, Bareback Sex, Creampie

This goes with the Valentine's Day Theme because it's sharing an aspect of physical love with one another, and because I say so lol. I really liked the idea of doing a fanfic style audio where it's more introspective from the listener's point of view if that makes sense? I know there's not a lot of actual Muriel lines that I've voiced here, but I wanted to try it in a slightly different style, so I hope you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Ever since you had lost portions of your memory, you had become rather comfortable with inexperience. A lot of life recently has felt like learning all over again, so moments of anxiety over something you might have forgotten have grown fewer and farther between. You try to approach these moments with cautious optimism, knowing that the opposite would be far more terrifying than anything.

It doesn't mean that there aren't moments of anxiousness in your life, especially as you grew closer to those around you. Asra, Julian, Portia, Nadia, and.....Muriel.

Oh Muriel. Anxiousness had suffused the both of you until it had finally dawned on you that you loved one another. The careful dance between you of longing and waiting finally broke upon your first kiss, and the anxiousness of being wrong, of thinking that perhaps he was humoring you, lessened with every kiss.

It had felt like a lifetime, but in actuality was only a few months, and the more Muriel opened up, the more you felt yourself doing so as well. It was a wonderful thing, to see this actually incredibly shy man become more comfortable with you, accepting and giving affection without shutting down. It broke your heart to know that he worried that he was going to hurt you, whether physically or emotionally. But you knew, perhaps have always known, that if it ever did happen, it wouldn't be out of malice.

The evolution of your relationship was slow, as you were trying to save Vesuvia in the process, but now that things have calmed down, you’ve found that you’ve been considering him in a new light that previously were simply idle thoughts overtaken by more pressing matters. However recently, those thoughts have begun to linger, and now, you ache to make them a reality.

You want to have sex with Muriel.

You don’t remember whether or not you’ve had sex before, but at this point, it doesn’t really matter all that much to you. You’ve experienced so many new things with Muriel, that adding this to the list—considering your growing relationship—feels appropriate. You want to share this with Muriel. As long as he’s willing of course.

And of course he’s willing. You figure he would do just about anything to make you happy, but the idea of him wanting to have sex with you simply because you want to turns your stomach a little. You tell him so, and he takes your hands in his, something that was so difficult for him for so long. Was it truly that long ago that he was afraid to touch you, lest he soil you? You find the thought rather amusing, but keep it to yourself as he replies, sincerity and affection shining in those beautiful eyes of his. “I have wanted you for as long as I’ve known what want is. For so long, I simply allowed myself to be, doing as I thought I should, instead of what I wanted. I was afraid, truly afraid……yet you and I are still here, still together……the gods did not take either one of us from each other.”

You open your mouth to gently joke to him about where this is all going, so touched you are by his words that you can only really respond with a joke to not allow tears to form in your own eyes. Yet he presses on, rubbing the backs of your hands with his thumbs. “I agree to lying with you not only because it is what you desire……but what I desire as well…..”

Smiling, you reply. “So you want to.”

“Yes.”

You press your body closer to his, and don’t fail to miss the blushing in his cheeks as you do. “I want to hear you say it,” you say, hushed, words only for the both of you. “Please.”

Muriel swallows, takes a fortifying breath, and makes eye contact with you once more, something that again strikes you. It was so hard for him before. His growth causes you to smile.

“I want to make love to you.”

Make love. Yes. Yes, that's exactly what it will be.

You can’t help but stand on your tiptoes to attempt to press a kiss to his lips. A small private smile graces his mouth before he leans to meet you in the kiss halfway. The slide of his lips against your own causes a spark within your gut.

Yes. Making love. You’re finally going to make love with Muriel.

——————

It’s so incredibly charming to see Muriel rather hurriedly lead you to his bed, the furs looking extra soft in the firelight. It was honestly ridiculous to think that he would simply go along with your wishes without considering his own. It was foolish to think that he didn’t want you in this way either, and that thought causes a bright smile to catch your lips.

“I love you,” you say once you’ve settled on the bed, the furs just as soft as you thought. The shyness of the large man returns for a moment, flushing his cheeks and causing him to look away for a moment. It’s rather cute, and your smile widens. You lean forward to kiss his cheek and capture his attention again. You just couldn’t help it, expressing how much you care for him.

“I love you too,” he replies softly, turning his face so that your mouths can catch again, and this time, you feel the weight of his tongue pressing against your mouth, asking for more.

How could you refuse? You could deny Muriel nothing. You find your thoughts floating, any concerns far from your mind as yours and Muriel’s tongues press together in an imitation of a dance, moving together to find what feels the best.

When the two of you finally pull away to catch your breath, you open your eyes, unaware as to when you had closed them. You find yourself with your back against the furs, Muriel hovering over you with a look of pure desire radiating from that handsome face.

Unable to help yourself, you reach up and cup his cheek. Without a second thought, he leans into it, and presses a kiss into it.  “In moments like these,” he murmurs. “I feel as though I do not deserve your love.”

“Nonsense,” you reply quickly, turning his head so that you may make eye contact once more. “You are more than worthy of every bit of love I have in my body. If I could give you more, know that I would.”

He blinks, and even as tears gather in his eyes and his face crumples slightly, you can’t help but find him beautiful. You hush him softly, reaching up with your other hand to pull his face down to kiss at his cheeks as the tears begin to fall.

“I love you,” he sobs softly.

“And I you,” you assure just as gently, smiling, trying to convey every ounce of love you can so that he may understand.

He shudders. “I swear to you that for the rest of my days I will do all that I can to make you feel as you’ve made me feel. I never want you to question how I feel for you.”

“I don’t” you assure him fervently between kisses. You wish with all your soul that you could banish the insecurities of his mind that tells him that he isn’t worthy, or that he has to prove that he’s worthy of loving, but you realize with a sort of comforting clarity, that you hopefully get to spend the rest of your days with him doing exactly that. You pull away just enough that your lips brush together as you say. “Let us celebrate it together.”

The first grind of his hips against yours causes a rough shudder between you, and the sudden well of desire that springs forth from that motion almost makes you want to literally tear both of your clothes off, damn the consequences. But instead, you grind your hips back against his, dizzy already at the sound that comes out of him as a result, and pant against his mouth. “Please…..let’s undress.”

He grunts and nods in agreement, and grinds against you once more before shifting off of you, as if he can’t help it, and that idea makes you moan softly, the heat low in your belly reminding you once again just how much you want him.

Undressing is a rather quick affair between the two of you, Muriel not wearing much across his torso to begin with, and he chuckles at you as you fervently whip your clothes off and toss them away without much of a care. It causes you to laugh as well, and the bloom of affection in your chest as you kiss one another once more can’t be ignored. This is how this should be, laughing and sharing with someone you love. And by the gods do you love him.

Your kisses deepen into passionate presses of tongue against tongue, open mouthed and far less chaste than any you’ve shared before. Fully naked now, you can’t help but run your hands over every piece of skin that you can, moaning at the sheer size of him as he settles his body in between your legs. Intrinsically you recognize that he’s bigger than you, but in this situation, the prospect of him being so much so makes you whimper, and buck your hips into his again. The wet hot drag of his cock against you makes you both shudder, moaning at the slick and pleasurable sensation. You’ve barely touched and already the scent of sex in the air causes a dizzy fog of want to descend over you, and you suddenly want nothing more than his cock inside you.

“Please…..please, I need you,” you beg, and he groans against you, his hips now consistently seeking friction against you. Gods above, he’s huge. It matters not to you however, and you simply buck your hips back, unaware and uncaring as to how wet you’re both making one another’s bodies. “Muriel~” You whine, and it seems to snap him out of it.

“Need to prepare you…” he murmurs, his tone brooking no arguments, and you whine as he shifts off of the furs, watching his hulking naked form in the firelight as he goes to retrieve something you assume will help him lubricate you enough to his satisfaction. The thought of his large fingers pressing inside you brings your own hands to your arousal, moaning and screwing your eyes shut at the sensation, unable to help needing some sort of stimulation while Muriel is away from you.

He returns in short order, thank the gods, with a small vial in his hand. Well, perhaps it’s small because it’s in his hand, but whatever is inside is truly the important thing, and you whimper softly as he groans at the sight of you touching yourself, nearly a growl as he climbs over your body again.

“Spread your legs?” He requests softly, and you obey without hesitation, whimpering softly at the loss of your own hand as he opens the vial and coats two of his fingers with whatever oil is inside.

He doesn’t tease you, and you silently throw another thanks to the gods as you feel him carefully tracing your entrance. With a breath, he pushes a single finger inside, and oh gods, it’s so much bigger than your own. It isn’t bad—far from it actually—but the stretch makes you gasp, and you just know it’s going to make Muriel try to retreat, afraid that he’s hurt you, so you quickly reach to still his arm, keeping him right where he is inside you. “Please,” you pant softly. “Keep it inside……”

Muriel watches you with apprehensive eyes only for a moment before he nods. “Tell me if it’s too much,” he replies, before carefully moving his finger back and forth inside you. Releasing his arm and throwing your head back, you moan, giving over to the sensation of him opening you up.

The anticipation feels like it’s lighting up your very bones, as every few seconds you’re reminded what he’s opening you up for, and you glance down to see his cock, erect and so very large between his legs. Fuck, it’s going to fill you up so well.

A second finger presses in against the first, and you groan at the stretch, but moan as Muriel curls them in just the right way to hit that wonderful sweet spot inside you. You move, gripping the furs beneath you to ground yourself, afraid in the moment that the pleasure is going to make you drift away. He’s being careful and slow, damn him, and you can’t help but kick your hips down to press his fingers deeper inside you. It earns a moan from both of you, and Muriel glances up to read your face, and you moan softly at him. “More…faster…..Muriel….please….”

You chuckle softly as you see him swallow roughly, a little out of your mind, and you lose the grasp on any more thoughts as Muriel starts to move his fingers faster, curling and dragging them over that wonderful little spot more and more, and you can feel the heat in your gut turning to molten lava.

You wonder idly if sex is always like this, or if it’s just Muriel that’s making it especially mind bending, especially pleasurable. The wet sounds of his fingers ring out just loud enough to hear over the roar of your blood in your ears, and you realize with sudden and embarrassing clarity that you’re close to climax. Whimpering, you finally manage to release the grips on the furs, to reach for Muriel’s forearm again. He stops, and your eyes meet, both of you groaning at the vision you make for one another. Muriel’s pupils are blown so far that only a small ring of green remains around them, and his cock is actively leaking pre-come, sliding down his shaft. You swallow roughly, suddenly wanting very much to follow that trail with your tongue, but you refrain, blinking and swallowing again to try to get your brain back on track.

Muriel seems to have found his voice again, as he asks. “Are you alright?”

You nod, and clench on his fingers, causing him to groan softly. “Yes,” you croak, squirming slightly. “I was going to….”

Muriel groans again, this time full bodied, and his cock twitches violently again, drooling more pre-come and making it hard to focus. “Why did you want to stop?” He questions, and you laugh, a little delirious.

“I don’t want to climax until your cock is inside me,” you admit, and it must have been the right thing to say, for Muriel removes his fingers from you in short order. It makes you whine at the loss, but you know something much more filling will replace them.

“Then please…..” Muriel says. “Please let me make you come…..”

Your smile widens, and you reach your arms out to cradle him closer as he settles over you. When his ear is close to yours, you moan softly, “I want you to come inside me too.”

A hitches breath is what you get in return, followed by a groan, and a pressure against your entrance.

Oh this is it, this is where you and he are finally going to become one. The moment you’ve been fantasizing about for gods know how long. It’s a rather simple affair really, Muriel pushing inside you. He’s careful, considerate even, slowly pressing in, watching you and listening for any signs of pain or discomfort.

You breathe intentionally in through your nose and out your mouth, the sheer size of him something your body isn’t used to. However there is no pain, and as he finally sinks fully into you, you can’t help but moan at the stretch, clenching down on him and causing his hips to kick involuntarily, sending his thick cock that much further into you. You grip tighter around his shoulders, and you moan again in his ear, “Please, move……make love to me Muriel….”

It’s what finally, finally has him moving, pressing his cock in and out of you in measured careful strokes, until he seems to gain confidence that he isn’t going to hurt you, and starts thrusting faster, panting and moaning deep and oh so lovely above you. There was no other option other than this position you realize as he pulls back for a moment and moves both of your arms so that he can pin your hands beside your head, lacing your fingers together as you watch one another fall into pleasure.

And what a sight it is. As much as there is desire and pleasure in Muriel’s eyes, the look overwhelming them cannot be described as anything but love, absolute in its intensity. You moan as he picks up speed, begging him to make you climax, along with telling him how much you love him over and over and over.

He squeezes your hands in his own, leaning down to kiss you as he thrusts, moaning into your mouth, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” so sweetly, matching your own declarations of love and passion.

You aren’t going to last long, the pleasure and love welling up in you so quickly that you know that it’s only a matter of time before he makes you climax, and you want nothing more than that, nothing more than for the both of you to share in your pleasure. “I’m going t-to—” you stutter after what could be minutes, or hours.

“As am I….” he moans back. You share breath and kisses with one another, hot and wet and oh so good at bringing you that much closer. You can feel it tightening in your gut, and by the slightly uncoordinated cadence of Muriel’s thrusts, you know it’s going to happen.

“C-come inside me~” You beg suddenly, and that does it, that sets him off, groaning sharply and pressing his cock in as deep as it can go and oh gods, you can feel it pulsing, the warmth of his come inside you sending you over your own peak, and you wail, screaming his name as you squeeze his hands, lights behind your eyes as you give yourself over to the pleasure.

When the stars fade behind your eyes, and you feel yourself coming back down to Earth, you hear and feel Muriel panting and kissing your cheeks, muttering, “I love you…. you are my everything…..thank you, thank you for sharing this with me…..thank you.

Finally cognizant enough, you crane your neck to kiss him back, your eyes slipping shut as you share a passionate kiss, one filled with love and admiration and appreciation.

While you feel that this is not the culmination of your relationship, you do recognize it as an important moment, and you tug your arms to let him know you’d like the use of your hands again. He lets them go without a struggle, and you naturally reach up to wrap around his neck and pull him to you again, pressing as much of his body over you as you can. He’s large, and frankly a bit heavy on you, but you could not care any less in this moment about that.

“I love you, Muriel,” you affirm, running your fingers through the hairs at the nape of his neck. “I love you more than I love anything in this world.”

You feel a sniff against you, and watery words replying, “I would give my life for you…..”

Smiling ruefully, you murmur. “Please don’t……we have the rest of our lives to spend together…..”

He chuckles softly too, but there is still wetness that tinges the tone.  It touches you to hear how his emotions have physically affected him, and you hush and hum softly to him, continuing to play with his hair, trying to soothe him.

Eventually he calms down enough to pull back and look at you, eyes still a touch wet, but filled with oh so much love and care. You can’t help but smile at him, and he smiles back, one of his true smiles that crinkle at the edges of his eyes, and it just makes you smile more.

“Thank you,” you say.

He blinks. “For what?”

“Loving me,” you simply reply.

His smile turns wistful.

“If I were to die tomorrow, I would die happy knowing that you loved me.”

You yank the little hairs at the back of his head a bit. “Stop talking about dying,” you chuckle. “You’re not going anywhere……as long as I can help it.”

Muriel says nothing for a moment, before leaning down to kiss you again. He pulls away to murmur, “Thank you for loving me….”

You smile and pull him to you again. “Always,” you reply. “Always…..”

~February 2023 AMA~

The Theme of my life right now is 'My Brain is Soup'.

Thank you for all the questions regardless lol

~Pokemon: Guzma X Listener SFW: Rejection~ {Patreon Exclusive}

You're so overwhelmed, but the idea of letting Guzma down makes it that much worse.

Contains: Overstimulation, Comfort, Reassurance, Advice, Calming, Petnames (Hon, Doll, Babe, Sweetheart)

Honestly I think this month has been really hard for a lot of us, and sometimes we just need comfort. For me personally, I've had a lot of problems with RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) recently. When you have ADHD, your nervous system overreacts to things from the outside world. Any sense of rejection can set off your stress response and cause an emotional reaction that's much more extreme than usual. Sometimes the criticism or rejection is imagined, but not always. It's also not always those with ADHD who have this, but a lot of us do, and I wanted to create an audio talking about it being ok to be overwhelmed, and that sometimes you can get caught in cyclical thinking that just makes you feel even worse. A lot of time people with RSD can try to push through the discomfort to try please others instead of advocating for ourselves and our needs, and I wanted to talk about how advocating for your needs is actually really a form of self love? While I don't say that directly in the audio, I feel like it's implied? I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense, my brain has been soup lately. I felt like Guzma was a good character to use for this kind of audio, since it makes sense to me that he would have experience with these things and have some answers that might help. I hope you enjoy and that this maybe helps!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Guzma: Hey Hon, you ready for our date?

*pause*

Hey, if you're feeling anxious, we don't have to go anywhere......

*pause*

Whoa! Doll! Where are these tears comin' from, are you ok?

Here, come here....it's ok......just talk to me.....it's alright......

*long pause with gentle hushes*

Babe......

So.....from what I understand.......you're feeling really fucking awful and don't want to go anywhere, but felt guilty that it would 'ruin our date', so you tried to keep it together, but once the time came everything just kind of boiled over?

And now you feel bad and feel like you're overreacting?

*pause*

It's ok, Doll......you're spiraling......take some deep breaths with me.....ok? They don't have to be perfect.....just gotta try, ok?

*intentional deep breaths*

There we go......you feeling better?

*pause*

I mean 'well enough to talk', better.

No, Babe....we're not going anywhere......

*pause*

Please don't tell me to ignore it when you're obviously hurting......

*hushes*

You're not doing anything wrong, Sweetheart.....come here......

*pause*

Taking care of yourself is more important than any date could ever be.

If you're having a hard time, then please don't push it down because you're afraid you're going to disappoint me or make me mad.

I know because I've got that same stupid little voice in my head that tells me these nasty things too. I know what it's like when you've been rejected so much in your life that it rewires your brain into thinking that everything is your fault.....and if you're not perfect......then clearly it's something wrong with you......

You're mad at yourself because you don't understand why you're so anxious to go out with me. I'm the guy you love, so......why should you be anxious? But there are other factors, Doll.....and none of them lead back to you being a terrible person.

*pause*

I've been there.....where every perceived rejection, real or not, sends you spiraling, and then you feel shitty about the fact that you're spiraling in the first place.

It's a vicious cycle where our brains are fucking mean to us because of trauma.....or because anxiety.....or a perfectly fucked up mixture of the two. Those two are a helluva knock out team together, and well......these reactions are the consequence......

And the thing is, that's not your fault. You can't undo the trauma......just as much as you can't just stop having anxiety. As much as some people might say otherwise.

All you can do is find ways to navigate and to advocate for your own needs. And maybe I haven't said it enough, but if there's ever a moment where you're feeling too overwhelmed to go out or to do something with me, please tell me. I would rather you be comfortable than do whatever it is we planned. Things can be rescheduled.......your well being is far more important to me.

*pause*

*hushes*

You're not a party pooper, Sweetheart.....

*soft kiss*

I love you.....

I know it's kind of useless for me to say, "Don't feel bad," because then that will just make you feel worse. That's how the cyclical thinking gets you.

Cyclical thinking. It's the thoughts of "I must be a bad person because I'm too overwhelmed to go on a date, so I'm going to try to power through it, but because I haven't been able to power through it, I've ruined the good time we had planned, which makes me a bad person, and even though he says he still loves me and doesn't care that we didn't go on a date, I don't feel deserving of that love, because I'm a bad person and I'm a huge inconvenience. I've tricked him into thinking I'm not a bad person, therefore, I am a bad person....." and so on and so forth.

You get stuck in the cycle of self loathing and rejection and it's really hard to get out of. You thought I was going to be disappointed and that made everything worse. But I wasn't disappointed, and that also makes you feel worse because you feel like you're having a meltdown for nothing.

*pause*

*chuckles softly*

Like I said.....I've been there......

*pause*

Oh....I still do it.....I've just gotten better at recognizing it and trying to refocus my thoughts and remind myself that I'm stuck in a cycle. While we may not be able to completely control our reactions, what we can do is control what we do in the moment, and afterwards......

*pause*

Well....what helped me was......trying to treat myself like how I would treat someone who I cared a lot for.

You know how it's easier to have grace for your friends than it is for yourself?

*pause*

For instance.....say you were in my position......and everything that you were feeling, I was feeling. Would you tell me that I was a nuisance.....and that I had ruined the night because I was overwhelmed and was scared that you were going to be mad?

*pause*

You see where I'm going with this? It doesn't make sense for you to treat yourself any lesser than you would treat the ones you care about. So if I ever find myself in a moment of cyclical thinking, or if I'm spiraling, I try to approach the situation as if it's someone I love experiencing it. I've found that more often than not it helps. It might not snap me out of it and suddenly I'm better.....but I've noticed it refocuses my thinking and reminds me that I'm a human being, and I'm allowed some grace......

And I think maybe that will help......even if it's just a little.

You're trying your best, and that's all you can do. I'm sorry that you got so overwhelmed.....and before you apologize because I know you're going to......you have nothing to feel sorry for. I don't hate you.....and you didn't ruin anything. I'm not going to leave unless you really want me to. We can just have a quiet night in if you want to....I'm more than fine with that.

*pause*

And if it helps, I can try to check in with you when we're going to go on dates like this, to make sure that you're still feeling up to it? If you think that might help.

*pause*

It won't be too much work.....I want to be able to give you opportunities to advocate for your own needs in an environment that isn't going to immediately shut you down or call you stupid or selfish. That's important to me.....so it's not really that much work.

I want to help set you up for success, Babe.......because I love and care about you.

I want to remind you of that too.....that you're loved and you are cared for.....

*pause*

Here.....let me get you a face wipe and some water....I bet even that will make you feel better. And after that, we can order in and start a new tv show or something. Didn't you say there was one that you wanted to watch?

*chuckles into a kiss*

I got you, Babe. Whatever you want......

*through a smile*

Love you......