Dark Legend of Potter: Chapter 73

Heart thundering in his chest, Kazuma dove as fast as he could for the pitch. This time, Cedric Diggory was a tad slow on following after him. He’d nearly fallen for the first Wronksi Feint, but after Kazuma had done it twice more, he was a bit reluctant, but still determined not to let the game end in total failure for Hulfflepuff.

The problem was, this time, Kazuma wasn’t feigning. Ginny had her massive 250 point lead, as the game was 420-170, so it was actually time for Kazuma to catch the snitch. He raced for the flickering bit of gold, and could feel Cedric hot on his tail. A Bludger whizzed toward Kazuma’s head from across the field, but Dust dove in and deflected it. 

In the end, it was almost too easy. 

“He’s done it! Kazuma ‘Lucky Bastard’ Crabb has caught the snitch! The final score is 570-170! A massive, 400-point lead! With this, Slytherin secures the Quidditch cup!”

Pride swelled in Kazuma’s chest, only for a ginger blur to zoom out of the sky and tackle him right off his broom. The wind was knocked right out of his chest as Ginny landed on him, and for a moment, Kazuma thought his adopted little sister was out to murder him as tears streaked down her reddened face.

Then, he realized she was laughing as well as crying, hugging him tightly, a manic grin on her face. 

“We did it! Onii-chan, we did it! I’m the youngest Quidditch captain ever to win the cup!” Ginny gasped, clinging to Kazuma like a limpet as the rest of the team swooped down.

“Uh, isn’t Graham technically team captain?” Kazuma pointed out.

Ginny’s eyes flashed. “That’s not what it will say on the trophy. I’ll make sure of it. Right, Graham?”

“Of course, Captain,” Graham agreed amicably. 

“Three cheers for Captain Ginny!” Dust said, even as the Slytherin students began to rush the pitch. Ginny was hoisted up onto the team's shoulders as the Slytherins started in on “Weasley is Our Queen.” 

“Oi, buzz of, Gryf!” Lucian called, but Ron, Fred, and George (or possibly George and Fred) shoved passed him. For a moment, Ginny just glared down at her three brothers until Ron grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. 

“Congrats, Gin-gin! Guess if anyone has to win it from us, we’d want it to be you,” Fred said, and passed up a homemade crown. It was enchanted to have a green serpent coiled around the sparkling golden brim, and shot off green sparklers that formed the words “Weasley is Our Queen” when she placed it on her head. 

Tears filled Ginny’s eyes again, and she hopped down to hug her three fake brothers. Or, well, fake as Kazuma was concerned. Then Kazuma was forced to lift Ginny up along with Ron. He glared at his rival, but Ron didn’t seem to notice or care. Just as long as he understood that Ginny was Kazuma’s imoto, and not his. 

After that, Ginny’s parents were there, of course, each of them enthusiastically congratulating their youngest daughter on her first Quidditch title. For a blissful hour, Kazuma and the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team were on top of the world, save for one member. 

For some reason, Marcus Flint found the entire situation darkly hilarious. “Oh, you’re in for it now, Weasley! Haha, hope you’ve got a hidey hole prepared,” Marcus wheezed.

“Stuff it, Marcus! You’re just jealous!” Draco said, red-faced as he waved excitedly at his and Kazuma’s parents. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be jealous of where you’re at, haha! Shouldn’t have gotten so damn greedy!” Marcus laughed, then staggered off as other Slytherins angrily shoved him away.

“Ignore him, Ginny, he’s just jealous,” Kazuma told his captain.

“The git wishes he was half as good a captain as you!” Ron assured Ginny, who grinned and nodded. 

The celebration lasted for several hours, with a grand banquet laid out not in the dungeon, but in the very Chamber of Secrets itself. Vanir the barman served mocktails and butterbeer, generously paid for by Ginny and the Slytherin Quidditch team out of their “House Points Slush Fund.” Food was laid out by Wiz the I’m-Definitely-Twenty-Why-Do-You-Ask, a grand spread of baked goods, fried meats, and sandwiches that kept the teens and tweens fully fueled for hours.

Even Professor Snape made an appearance, looking smug as usual, but without the aftertaste of sourness that usually marred his features. 

“Excellent work today, Miss Weasley,” he said, gravely shaking a beaming Ginny’s hand. “You’ve once more secured my comfort in the staff lounge for the next year. I trust I will not regret handing you the captainship for many years to come.”

“No sir! Six straight years of Slytherin wins!” Ginnny vowed. 

“BWAHAHAHAHA! Ah, the sweetness of victory! And yet, such sweet fruit can lead to an upset stomach for the scheming young woman who was born a lion, but became the truest of snakes,” Vanir cackled. 

“Oh, be nice, Vanir. Let Kazuma and Dust enjoy their victory with Ginny!” Wiz urged. 

“Yet it is a drunkenness born of ignorance! Mine all-seeing eye sees even now her doom approaching!” Vanir sniggered. 

“Oh, stuff it mask face, and get me another Celestina Warbeck!” Ginny ordered.

Vanir went back to making drinks, still sniggering to himself.

“Here is thy drink,” Vanir said, setting the green foaming mocktail in front of Ginny. “And, thy creditors.”

“Creditors?” Ginny asked, even as half a dozen Hufflepuffs and a dozen Ravenclaws pushed their way into the Chamber of Secrets. 

“There she is! GET HER!” one of the Ravenclaws shouted. 

The Slytherins quickly moved to intercept, even as Flint started laughing uproariously again and pounding the counter. Ginny watched in smug satisfaction as her minions held off the attack, until something one of them said made her blood run cold:

“We don’t have a rats ass about Quidditch, we want our money back!” one of the Ravenclaws bellowed. “Let us through, or we’re exposing the whole thing!” 

“Oh. Bugger,” Draco muttered, and Kazuma could only nod. 

“Ginny? You OK?” Dust asked. “You went pale.”

“Shut up and follow me!” Ginny ordered, and sprinted forward, squirming her way through the brawling students. “It’s alright, everyone! Um, I, er, need to have a talk with these fine people!” 

“What? But, why?” one of the dumber Slytherins said.

Ginny frantically glanced over at Snape. To her horror, he met her eyes, lifted his drink in toast to her, and took a slow slip. She could have sworn his lips moved and said, “Come home to roost.”

“Where’s our money!?” one of the Ravenclaws said, and roughly tried to grab hold of Ginny, only for Dust to slap their hand away and get right in their face. Despite the fact that it was a sixth year, Dust was nearly as tall as they were at only 13, not to mention he had an athletes build. Ginny reflected that in a few years Dust was going to be a giant, but set that aside.

“Right this way, everyone, and we’ll be certain to hear all your concerns!” Ginny said quickly, then led the irate crowd away from the party and into one of the private back rooms. It was rather crowded, with the angry Hufflepuffs and Ravensclaws pressing in on Ginny and her minions to the point that not even Dust could keep them off without starting a melee. 

“Everyone, um, please, calm down, and, er, just what is it that the House Points Fraud Protection Committee can do for you all?” Ginny said brightly. 

A Ravenclaw girl by the name of Tulip Karasu elbowed her way forward and glared at Ginny. “We’ve done the maths, and with your win today, you’ve erased all the points we’ve paid for!”

“What?” Ginny blinked, confused. “We did arrange for you to get those points, Tulip.”

“Yes!” A Hufflepuff boy named Nitin Divekar snapped. “But then you went and earned 570 points today! You’re going to win the House Cup AND the Quidditch Cup!”

“I, er, well, I’m sure we can find a way to lose…six…hundred…points…uh, over the next two months,” Ginny said, forcing a grin onto her face. 

“You’d better! Because if you don’t, we’re exposing your little racket, Weasley!” Tupil threatened. “This was going to be the year that Ravenclaw won the House Cup at last!” 

“No, it was going to be Hufflepuff!” Nitin shouted, and that started an entirely new row, with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff at one another’s throats. 

“Uh, I’m sure we could offer you all a discount-” Kazuma began, only for the whole lot to round on him. 

“WE WANT A REFUND!” someone shouted, and the chant was taken up. “REFUND! REFUND! REFUND!” 

“Um, we’ll see about losing the House Cup, and um, discounting any future purchases,” Ginny said breathlessly. “Next year! I mean next year!” 

“You’d better, Weasley, or we’ll see you hang!” Nitin vowed, and then the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs stormed out, still in a towering fury. 

Ginny and her minions watched them go, all four of them wide-eyed and panting. 

“How the hell do we get ourselves out of this?” Kazuma muttered, scrubbing his hands through his messy brown hair. 

“A most impressive performance,” a silky voice drawled, and the four children jumped and spun as Snape stepped out of a shadow. 

“P-Professor! Um, they just, they wanted to, er, wish us well,” Ginny stammered, eyes shifting and sweat dripping down her brow. 

“Oh, of course,” Snape said, a sinister gleam in his eyes. He trailed his right hand over the shoulders of all four children, who stood up as straight as they could, frozen in terror. “I wanted to… congratulate…you all.”

“S-sir?” Dust stammered. 

“On the game, of course. Shame that it has come to an end, but all games must end,” Snape said, coming to stand before his four snakes. “For your actions, I am afraid you have not been adequately…compensated.”

Snape gave a vicious smile at his trembling students, then said, “Fifty points to Slytherin.”

“NooooooOOooooo!” his victims wailed, and Draco fell to his knees, clutching his head, while Kazuma put his head in his hands and sobbed.

“S-sir, you, um, shouldn’t. We…we haven’t done anything to deserve um, such…rewards,” Ginny managed, her left eye twitching horrifically. 

“Oh, I think you have. This was a most…entertaining party.” Snape stepped forward, and the four fools cowered in terror. “Only a fool bets against Slytherin. And it would take a monstrous moron to bet against their own house. I will have the Quidditch Trophy and the House Cup on my desk at the end of term. I will not be thwarted by some petty scheme, especially not hatched by my own serpents. Whatever comes…take this as a lesson: Do not conspire against your own house. We have…ways…of policing our own.”

With that, Snape stalked off, leaving the four idiots in utter disarray. 

“We’re dead. Just…completely dead,” Draco groaned. “Father will disown me. I…I’ll have to live with the House Elves! Get a job cleaning chimneys and cooking!” 

“Oh shut up, it won’t be that bad. For you. Me they’ll kick right out,” Kazuma muttered. 

“My mum is going to skin me alive and turn me into a Howler!” Ginny moaned. 

Dust nodded somberly. “We could run away, live in the Forbidden Forest. Centaurs aren’t such bad blokes.”

They all seemed to be considering that, when suddenly, a spotlight came on in the bar, and a big swing band began to play, with Vanir wailing away on the saxophone. The four slowly crept forward, drawn by the music. Vanir lowered the Saxophone, and red eyes glowed behind his black and white mask as he crooned. 

 Ahh, my poor little schemers, what a tragic affair—
You sold house points for a pittance so small,
And now you’re caught in your own snare!

But worry not! You’ve got friends!

Friends on the Other Side.

The band, composed of Vanir dolls, played along as Wiz stepped forward in a glittering purple cocktail dress and crooned into a microphone, 

Oooo, detention! Expulsion!
Master of dungeons is on patrol!
You’ve lost your luck, your pride,
but your friends can make you whole!

Kazuma looked around, blinking. The other Slytherins were sitting at tables, but they looked glassy-eyed, as if hypnotised. Maybe it was the late hour. Perhaps it was the music played by the legions of hell. Or, maybe it was just how much cleavage Wiz was showing and how her dress clung to her.

Stepping forward, Vanir bowed, a wide grin on his face as he continued his song, the band playing furiously. 

I’m Vanir, Duke of Doom and Delight,
I traffic in contracts, not mortal fright!
I see your panic, your trembling hands…
And I have a deal that fits just right!

Vanir snapped his fingers, and four parchments appeared in his hands as a table with a white dinner cloth on top and four chairs appeared, forcing the four Slytherins to sit down as Vanir placed the contracts in front of them, along with what Kazuma recognized as four Blood Quills. 

A little ink, a tiny vow—
no fuss, no muss, no how.
You get your plans restored today,
I just need a lean on your soul for now!

Wiz grinned, and leaned forward, singing again as she swayed back and forth. 

Sign on the line!
We’re your friends on the other side!
Just a temporary mortgage

 There’s nothing to hide!

With trembling hand, Kazuma reached for the quill, looking at the wide eyes of the others. Was this their way out? Vanir massaged Ginny’s shoulders, while a pair of Vanir dolls one atop the other, did the same for the three boys. 

Ginny, no tears, just quills and cheer!
Kazuma, you’ve conned for less, my dear.
Draco, Dust—oh, partners in grime,
A lifetime’s cheap at a hellish dime!

What other choice did they have? Kazuma lifted the pen, looking down at the contract. 

So what do you say, my clever crew?
A signature’s all you have to do!
No rules, no risk, no teachers to chide…
Just me, my friends,
and your souls—on the other side!

Just as Kazuma was about to touch quill to parchment, the door to the Chamber of Secrets was kicked in, and a silver and blue light blinded him. 

“GOD BLOW!” 

“WIRE TORNADO!” 

The band dissolved into squeals as wires wrapped about all of them, save for Wiz, who squeaked and dropped the microphone. A glowing fist of power took Vanir square on the chin, as a furious Aqua hit him with a Shoryuken God Blow that dissolved the demon’s body to dust, his mask clattering to the floor. He reformed, rising up in a fury. 

“You damned goddesses of comedy with no timing! Moi-”

Two silver daggers from Chris stabbed Vanir right in the chest, causing him to dissipate once more. 

“NO STEALING OUR CHAMPIONS!” Chris raged. 

Vanir popped back into existence, his eyes glowing. “VANIR STYLE BEAM CANNON!” 

The lasers were deflected by a blue barrier conjured by Aqua, and Chris vanished for a moment, only to shadow step behind Vanir and backstab him again. The furious woman whirled on Wiz. “We trusted you! How could you!” 

“I, I- h-he promised I could have Kazuma’s soul, a-and he could marry me for once!” Wiz said, tears filling her eyes. “It’s not fair! He gets to marry all the other girls and have families with them! Even Claire and Rain!” 

“Ugh, that was a disaster of a reincarnation cycle,” Aqua muttered, then smashed her fist back into a reforming Vanir and sent him back into a puddle of dirt. “Seriously, Wiz, you can’t just take a man’s soul to marry him!”

“She can take anything of mine! Have my babies, Miss Wiz!” one of the Slytherin boys called, which only made her burst into tears. 

“Hey! Be sensitive here!” Aqua snapped. “Five points from Slytherin!”

“Oh, thank God,” Kazuma groaned, slumping in his seat. 

“”You’re welcome!”” Chris and Aqua said together. 

“Hmph. What of the ginger and the cretinous silver-spooned boy? Thou hast no contracts with them,” Vanir grumbled, finally able to reform without being smited. 

“Ginny, Draco, no selling your souls to demons! If you do, I’ll tell your parents, and you’ll be grounded for nearly as long as you’d be in hell!” Aqua vowed. 

“We’ll give you a MUCH better deal,” Chris promised. “Especially if you join the Eris Cult! We actually DO have a prosperity gospel, unlike those posers in Texas!” 

“No! They’re joining the Axis Cult! They’re mine!” Aqua argued. 

“They were signing contracts with moi!” Vanir snarled, and the conflict turned into a mêlée à trois that shook the bar and sent of explosions of infernal and holy power that threatened to knock the castle itself down. 

Which was when Headmaster Dumbledore appeared as if from nowhere, wand in hand. With a wave of his wand, he petrified Aqua and sent her clattering to the ground as a statue. He unsealed an ancient Ming Vase, and with a spoken word of command, sucked Vanir mask and all into the vessel. For Chris, he turned her wires back against her, complete with gag. 

For a moment, no one spoke, everyone stared at Dumbledore with wide eyes. 

“Hmm. Well, that worked a sight better than I expected,” the Headmaster mused. “But, I suppose one can never be too prepared when facing such threats.” Turning to the students, Dumbledore cleared his throat. “I am afraid the party is over, everyone. Students to their dorms. I will be having a…discussion…with these three. Good night!” 

Hastily, Kazuma and the rest of the Slytherins made a break for the dungeons, not looking behind them. Though Kazuma did hear Wiz say, “-rule of funny. Can only petrify her if it’s a gag. Otherwise-”

Once back in the dungeon, Ginny huddled up with Kazuma and the others. 

“What do we do!?” She gasped. “We’ve spent most of the money! We can’t give refunds!” 

“Run away and see if Ivermorny is accepting transfers?” Kazuma suggested. 

“They don’t play quidditch at Ivermorny! How could you even suggest that?!” Ginny gasped, horrified. 

“There’s only one thing to do,” Dust said, and the others rolled their eyes and waited for him to say something stupid. “We find that treasure, and then use it to pay everyone off!”

“Dust, that’s-” Draco paused, then blinked. Kazuma reeled from shock, his mouth hanging open. 

“That’s brilliant, Dust!” Ginny cried, and gave Dust a kiss on the cheek, which made him blush. “Yes! We find Megumin’s treasure first, and then sell it and save our skins! It’s brilliant!”

“Really? You don’t think I’m a moron for suggesting it?” Dust asked, surprised as anyone else. 

“Yes! Now, get some rest. We have the Easter Holidays to plan, and then…then we have to lose 600 points and find that treasure!” Ginny ordered. 

They departed, each certain that their salvation was near at hand. 

Even as Dumbledore had the strangest conversation he’d had since 10:15 am the day before. Which was the last time he’d had a conversation with Aqua. 

Author’s Note:

Don’t mess with Epic Level wizards. They spank gods and demons for breakfast.