May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 19

July 7th, 1100

I woke up in a strange bed, and found someone staring at me. I rolled over and met James’ eyes. He had that stupid, boyish grin of his on, the one that I find so hard to resist. 

“Like what you see?” I asked, very deliberately stretching. 

His fingers caressed my collarbone, and I melted into him. 

“Yeah, I just…you’re beautiful, you know?” he said, and kissed me. 

“Mmm. I don’t really remember last night,” I lied, batting my eyelashes. I did remember. It had been wonderful, if rather primal and feral. Sometimes, you need that. 

To my irritation, he looked horrified. “Oh, Oh God, I mean, you said, yes, you didn’t-”

“James,” I said, grabbing him and pulling him atop me. “What I meant was, ‘I want you to give me something to remember right now.’”

He was much more compliant after that, although unfortunately, we were late for work. On the way there, I realized that, well, in our passion, we had forgotten to do anything sensible. Understandable the night before, completely unforgivable this morning. 

So, when I caught a moment to breathe, I snuck into the pharmacy and stole some progesterone, commonly called Plan B. I was about to take it, when a head poked around the corner and said, “Boo.”

I nearly lost my tail in fright, and dropped the pills, which were thankfully in an aluminum packet and didn’t just spill everywhere. “C-Chief Warfarin! I-I didn’t realize-”

“That I was back? I got that. And what’s this?” She bent down and to my horror, picked up the pills I’d been about to steal. “My my. Is this why my intern has an unusual swagger in his step and your bushy little tail’s been wagging this morning?”

I felt about eight centimeters tall and wanted to die. “Um, w-well, er, the Director-”

“Fuck if I care what Kal says. But, you, Lucy? You, my golden child…stealing medicine from the pharmacy? That’s a firing offense and you know it.”

“I, please, I just…I didn’t want-”

She hugged me, which made me paralyzed with fear; her teeth were so close to my neck…

“I’m so proud of you. At last, my stuffy little Miss Perfect has graduated to a Grown Up Girl who knows that rules are for idiots who can’t behave themselves.”

I was trembling, either with relief or the rush of adrenaline, I couldn’t tell. “Um, C-Chief?”

“Hmm, you putting yourself on birth control too?” she said, and picked my pocket. Where I did, in fact, have a 28-day supply of birth control. I was going to be responsible, after all, and while I was falling in love, I wasn’t stupid enough to think a baby was even remotely a good idea. 

“Y-yes,” I admitted, my tail and ears drooping miserably. 

“Thought so!” Warfarin pulled out a pad and scribbled on a bit, then handed it to me. She would have immaculate handwriting. There, in my palm, was authorization and a prescription for Plan B and birth control. “There. Now it’s official. Seriously, girl, next time, just ask. Like I said, I’m not mad, I’m proud, but I’m going to have to pretend to be mad and write you up if you do something stupid like this again, and be dumb enough to get caught. I marked you, remember? I can smell you no matter where you are, and you had no business being in the pharmacy…except to self-dispense. And we can’t have that, now, can we?”

I looked at the pad, then up at her, baffled. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Thank you, Chief,” Warfarin said in a warbling falsetto that is absolutely NOT how I sound. “You are beautiful and wise and smart and I wish to one day be as good a doctor and researcher as you!” 

“Thank you, Chief Warfarin,” I said through gritted teeth. 

“Aww, smile, Lucy,” Warfarin said, using her fingers to paste a grin on her own face that looked rather ghoulish with her fangs. “You got laid! Congrats! You’ve definitely needed it. Hmph, I’m going to have to give that pretty boy a call tonight, been too long since I’ve had my pipes cleaned.”

“Pretty boy?” I echoed, my mind still reeling. 

“Yoru. He’s just a kid but man does he give good dick. Don’t you dare tell him I said that, his head’s swelled enough as it is.”

The Chief and… Midnight? Seriously? That lady killer had actually…will wonders never cease. “Isn’t he fifty?”

“Forty-seven. I’m practically robbing the cradle here! I mean, I’m only thirty-five. Decades.”

I blinked stupidly at Warfarin, who batted her eyelashes at me. “You’re just so fun to tease, Lucy. Now, on a more serious note: Since you’ve both been good, I want you to go down to the O Ward this afternoon and have him pick out Lover Boy’s next victim. I want someone juicy. I don’t give a damn who, pick the biggest sob story of the lot or just the littlest and cutest kid, or a crusty old man. Whatever. I need data points, and his levels are down to .21 u/L and 5% OCD. He’s been a busy little arts wand! So go find someone else to cure so I can figure out how the fuck he does this. Oh, but don’t have him do it today. We’ll schedule it, oh, three days from now. Dear Leader wants a big production, so I’ll give her one as long as you get me that damned data. Oh, and no quickies in the closet. It’s gross and the janitors will hate you.”

And with that, my Chief Pain in the Ass handed me back the pills, then wandered off, whistling jauntily. 

I looked at the pills in my hand, looked at my script, sighed, and went up to the front.

Of course, Myrrh was there and filled my prescription. She grinned at me the whole damn time. 

“I’ll tell you everything later,” I sighed. 

“You have to! I’m leaving tomorrow, you know.”

I bit my lip. “Um, I do, how long…?”

“A month, at least. I’ll pack my stuff and put it in Gartt’s room. We um, I think he’s going to propose! So, ah…we’ll probably be moving in together…

Great. And here, I was going to ask James if he wanted to be my permanent bunkmate from now on. I felt like a slut. I just…last night…I’d slept so well. Having someone so big and strong there…I had known that even if a vampire or lupo had broken down that door…James would have protected me. It’s what he does. He was safe, and so, I was safe with him. 

Look, I know that is a completely idiotic fear, and that I’m perfectly safe, and that Texas and Warfarin are not going to murder me. It’s just…when you’re the smallest and weakest around, and it’s late at night, and your roommate is the same size as you, and your mind wanders…

Let’s just say I pick the big strong ones for a reason. 

Then I got paged to Director Kal’stit’s office. I groaned, certain I was about to get a tail twisting, and hurried over. 

“Ah, Dr. Sussurro, perfect,” she said as soon as I entered. James was already there, sitting down and blushing like a school boy. I, of course, was blushing like a schoolgirl, and hopped up on the seat next to him. He took my hand, and I did my best to put on my professional face. 

“I just, I want to assure you, Director, I won’t do it again, I will be very professional, and that, um, I understand if you still have to take disciplinary action,” I stammered.

Kal’stit paused, closed her mouth, then turned to regard me, folding her hands on the table. “Do go on, Dr. Sussurro. Please. Explain what you have learned from your error, and how you will mend your ways.”

I gushed everything about stealing the pills, getting caught, and how I definitely wouldn’t do it again. James looked embarrassed and slightly horrified, which meant I’d maybe just torpedoed the relationship too. Fantastic.

“Hmmm.” Kal’stit leaned back in her chair, regarding me. “Thus is the power of a guilty conscience. So that you are aware, Lucia, Chief Warfarin had not informed me of your trespass. I will speak with her regarding her handling of the affair. That is not how I would have my Chief Medical Officer disciplining her staff. Indeed, I was completely unaware that you had attempted any such theft.”

I groaned softly and slumped in my seat. Of course. 

“As this is your first infraction, I will limit your discipline to a private reprimand, though I will also make a note on your file. In the future, do not let your prudish thoughts overwhelm your professionalism. And let me assure you that anyone with a pair of eyes and even a hint of knowledge as to the relationship between you and Dr. McCoy was fully aware that you had spent the night together. There is a certain…air…about a couple that has recently consummated their relationship for the first time, especially if it is after an extended period of abstinence. Hmm. I do believe Lucia is not a virgin, but you, Dr. McCoy-”

“I am feeling very uncomfortable and like this maybe isn’t the most professionalist of conversations,” James squeaked. 

Kal’tsit raised an eyebrow at him. “Indeed? Well, then we will move on. Hold out your hand, Lucia.”

Slowly, I did so, and Kal’stit swatted my wrist, like a teacher disciplining a student caught napping in class. “Do not do it again. You…James McCoy, why are you holding out your hand?”

“Well, I mean…if you’re going to do it to her, you should do it to me, too. I should have thought to use protection,” he said, sounding deeply embarrassed. Bless him.

Kal’tsit regarded him for a moment, then swatted the back of his hand as well. “Do be more cautious. Though if you wish to apply for maternity leave in the future, I will grant it.”

“WerenotthinkingofkidsrightnowandIdliketomovethiscoversationalongthankyouverymuch,” I blurted. 

Kal’tsit’s lips…twitched. Was that a smile? Was she…was she teasing us? No. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. Or she just had a nervous tick she’d never exhibited before. 

“Returning to the topic for which I called you both in here for, Warfarin, bless her, has informed me that she believes the time has come for, and I quote, ‘Jimmy the Wunderkind to perform another miracle so I can get more actual data points than ‘fuck this actually works.’ Which I have interpreted to mean she is requesting you cure another case of oripathy. I have considered this, and decided to put it forth to the both of you. Sussuro, as you are what I consider to be McCoy’s case manager, and Bones himself as he is the one who is risking his own life to do so.”

Kal’tsit turned the screen behind her on, and pulled up the charts I had made showing James’ oripathy progression. “As this is your work, Dr. Sussurro, I would like to hear your analysis. I have read your reports, but for the sake of clarity, I would have you reiterate them.” 

I stood up and walked around the desk, where I found a footstool waiting for me. Sometimes, the thoughtfulness that Director Kal’tsit shows surprises me. It’s not just that she thinks of things, it’s that she thinks of kindnesses so many others do not. I hopped up on the stool and used a laser pointer to gesture to the screen. 

“We can see here a logarithmic progression of the oripathy. There are spikes where he’s cured people, but starting from this point on June 18th, 18 days ago now, there’s an initial slow decline, then it increases more as it falls. I think this is because oripathy multiplies, as we know, so as more is burned, the less it can replicate, and so, it falls off more steeply. It could also just be James’ increased mastery of arts and the fact he can use more before he goes into overload as his body gains a tolerance. Either way, this is good news.”

“Huh. I guess I am using more arts without needing to take a rest,” James mused. “That curve though…do you mean, I could eventually be entirely cured of oripathy?”

“Theoretically, yes, but we don’t actually know what will happen if you are. That’s because…next slide, please,” I said, and Kal’tsit advanced to an imaging of James’ body. “Your entire nervous system is now coated in originium. It’s even in your spinal column and up into your brainstem. That should have killed you. It didn’t. We’re even seeing granules in your brain, but they’re not behaving as they normally would. Indeed, the originium isn’t behaving normally in you at all. That said, it’s still causing complications. Those kidney stones are just one small sample of how they can cause problems. You’re also experiencing chronic pain throughout your body, especially in your hands and forearms where you have visible lesions.”

“So, I do have oripathy, but…it’s not normal? More like an artificial case, like the Abyssal Hunters,” James mused, then flushed. “Uh, that might be more weird alien knowledge.”

“Interesting you bring that up, because I had studied those cases as well,” I agreed. “Narcissa, that is, Rosmantis, is another, similar case to yours. Both of them had originium forcibly injected into their central nervous system. The brain stem in Narcissa’s case, the spinal column in Specter’s. Both of them have abilities far beyond the norm, as do you. And no, before you ask, not even Warfarin is considering more human trials of injecting originium into people’s nervous systems.”

“Though there are those unscrupulous enough to attempt it if this information were to become public. Which is, unfortunately, why this research will not be published,” Kal’tsit said.

I nodded, having accepted that long ago. “It’s fine, but we can use this here. Back to the original topic, based on your lowering levels, if you are ready, James, I think we can pick another case for you to cure. Unlike Warfarin’s suggestion, I would like you to pick someone with Stage 1 or early Stage 2 oripathy so you absorb a lower amount. If my hypothesis is correct, that would also allow you to regenerate your ability more quickly and be ready to cure someone else, instead of taking on a heavier load.”

“That sounds reasonable, I guess,” James said with a nod. 

“We have also prepared some devices to assist you in curing. One is a machine that works similar to a hemodialysis device to pull the blood from the body and allow you to clean it that way, instead of having to yank it all out and manufacture new blood. It should put a lot less strain on you and the patient, and be less messy. Texas is tough enough she easily survived the process, but that won’t be the case for some of the more delicate patients.”

“Wait, if you have a dialysis machine…can’t it be used to treat oripathy? You could filter the crystals out of the blood,” James pointed out. 

“It’s a treatment, and we do use it in some cases. The problem is twofold: One, there are never enough dialysis machines, and two, it’s a band-aid solution. It does pull originium out and slow the progress of the disease, but the real issue is that the infected organs where the originium is manufactured. You can permanently put someone on dialysis, but…well. There are complications to that. And in the end, it’s less effective than modern drugs, and costlier too.”

“I will not direct you to undertake this. The potential complications are great. While you have recovered each time, you have also undergone more and more intense symptoms. It may be wise to wait a little longer,” Kal’tsit said, steepling her fingers. “But such a choice is yours to make, Dr. McCoy.”

James looked at the data, then down at his palms, where the lesions were still clearly visible, if smaller than they had been. He made a pair of fists and stood up. “Right. Let’s do this. We’ll identify a patient and make a plan.”

“Warfarin suggested three days from now, that should give us plenty of time to select someone and prep them for surgery,” I said, hopping down off my stool. “I’ll make the arrangements, and we’ll look through a list of potential candidates tomorrow.”

“Could I…meet them?” James said, fidgeting slightly. “I know it’s a little silly, but…if I can meet them beforehand…I think maybe I’d be able to pick who to choose a little better.”

I bit my lip. Technically, that was bad medicine. You weren’t supposed to draw close to a patient. You weren’t supposed to pick who you treated based on how much you liked them or how good their sob story was. 

But at the same time…this wasn’t normal medicine. Worse, it was also exactly the sort of thing James would say to make my heart gallop off before my mind could catch up. 

“That can easily be arranged. You have access to the O Ward, and you are free to take a tour,” Dr. Kal’tsit said, then stabbed me in the back. “Dr. Sussurro has spent a great deal of time there and would make an excellent guide.”

Great. Thanks, mom. Just what I needed. 

We stepped out of the director's office, where to my surprise, Texas was pressed up against the wall, ears laid back, eyes wide, her expression fearful. In front of her were a pair of teenage girls: Narcissa, who we had just been talking about, had her usual blank and somewhat languid expression on, and was dressed in her typical white dress with a Rhodes Island overcoat on. 

The other teen was the source of Texas’s obvious nervousness. She looked like an ordinary, if somewhat ill-tempered, lupo teenager, with a red hoodie and blue jeans on. She had the hood back and was sniffing at Texas’s tail, which was making Texas rather paranoid. 

“Red, stop it,” Narcissa said, her tone bored as usual. “You’re scaring her.”

“Want to fluff tail. Tail very fluff,” Red said in a sulking tone, but backed off, Texas kept her eyes on red, nostrils flaring slightly. “Besides. If she so scared, not make good candidate. Tell Chief she wrong, pick someone else.”

“Uh, hey you two, what are you doing here?” I said, stepping between Texas and Red. The way Texas relaxed made me feel about 20 centimeters taller. Me, the dainty little vulpo, protecting the big tough lupo from a little girl.

Well, not so little anymore. She’d grown to be taller than Texas at 171cm. Narcissa had sprouted as well, and was 158cm now. Not a giant to anyone but me, but she had been my height a few years ago…

“Chief send us get Texas,” Red said in her usual stilted Ursus. She looked longingly at my tail, and then at my face. “Please?”

“Oh, very well, but only a little,” I said, and extended my tail to the girl, who immediately rubbed her cheek against it and sighed in contentment. I glanced at James, who looked mildly jealous. Heh. Success. He was a true tail lover now. 

“Sorry, Doctor Sussurro. We were sent on an errand to get Texas. We’ll need to borrow her for a bit,” Narcissa said in her monotone. 

“Who?” Texas said, looking at the girls suspiciously. 

“Wait, did Ascalon send you? Did Narcissa join SW-” James began. Then he was picked up off his feet by an invisible hand and smashed against the wall, where he started choking. Rosmontis didn’t even twitch. Just picked a full-grown man up and flung him about, and she didn’t so much as blink.

Texas had her beam saber out in a moment and was instantly dueling with Red. Fantastic. 

“STOP!” I snapped. “Director Kal’tsit has given James and myself SWEEP level clearance! You can ask her right now!” 

“Oh?” Rosmontis gently sent James down, but the two wolves were crouched down, snarling and slowly circling one another. 

“Hey guys, I just went to the bathroom, but seriously, I do not want to shoot someone today, so can we like, chill?” Exusiai said brightly, stepping around the corner with her rifle at her shoulder, pointed right at Rosmontis. 

Rosmontis glanced at the gun, but didn’t seem to care. Probably because she could stop bullets in midair as easily as she could pulp everyone in this hallway as an afterthought. “I will inquire.”

She opened the door, only to gasp and jump back as a giant green insectile demon forced its way into the hallway.

“Children,” Kal’tsit said, her tone cold as that nightmarish thing we call her Monst3r pinned down Rosmontis and Red both. “You were given a task. You are not to threaten Dr. McCoy, or his bodyguards. Texas. Deactivate your sword.”

Texas complied, though she didn’t look happy. Exusiai had grabbed James and put herself between him and everyone else, which was really the proper thing to do, even though he didn’t seem terribly happy about it. She’d also sensibly lowered her gun, but not put it away. 

“Yes, Director,” Red whimpered. “Sorry, Director.”

“Sorry, Director,” Rosmantis echoed, though the tears made me think she was going back to being Narcissa. 

Monst3r suddenly vanished, and the two girls got back up. I never can figure out where that creature goes. It can apparently be summoned in an eyeblink and vanish in just as little time. It’s no illusion, though: I’ve seen videos of Monst3r ripping apart Ursus Shield Guards and more as though their armor was made of tissue paper. 

Kal’tsit turned to James, a look of irritation clouding her features. “Dr. McCoy. SWEEP is one of the many things you will keep to yourself, as well as its membership. Cellinia Texas: you are joining SWEEP. This is not a request.”

“What is…SWEEP?” Texas said, her eyes still looked on Red, who was now more or less ignoring her and her tail. 

“Narcissa?” Kal’tsit prompted. 

“SWEEP is Special Warrant Extermination and Elimination Protocol. We are the internal security for Rhodes Island, and guard its most important secrets. We eliminate internal threats to Rhodes Island, and assassinate external threats before they become an issue,” Narcissa recited, still in that robot voice of hers. 

“Chief Ascalon is boss. You do what Chief says. Stop bad guys,” Red agreed with a nod. “Chief is secret though. Don’t tell.”

“It seems someone else needs a refresher on operational security,” Kal’tsit sighed, and Red instantly wilted. “No, do not cringe, child. James McCoy has…uniquely infuriating aspects to his personality. Cellinia: You will go with these two for induction.”

“You want me…to be an assassin?” Texas said, her eyes narrowed. 

“You are to protect James McCoy. For that, you will need authorization to eliminate any threat to him. Including threats from inside Rhodes Island. To be able to identify such threats, you will require SWEEP level clearance. You will also be given authority to command lower-level SWEEP agents. Such as these two.”

“Texas…is boss?” Red asked, turning to Texas and tilting her head to one side. 

“Yes, Red,” Kal’tsit said, and actually reached up to smooth back a bit of hair from her forehead. “Texas is…boss. Big sister. You will listen to her. She is wise, and skilled.”

“Red more skilled,” Red growled, baring her fangs. 

“There are more skills than fighting, child. I think you will find her life experience to be similar to your own. What you could stand to learn from her is less the art of taking lives, and more the art of knowing how to do so…and still live one. My hope is that one day, you and Narcissa both will find the same kind of love and friendship that Cellinia Texas has.”

“Texas…Fang?” Red asked, sniffing the air again, though she was leaning in to Kal’tsit’s affectionate stroking, her tail wagging furiously. 

“No,” Texas growled. “I am not one of the Signori dei Lupi’s pawns. As you are.”

“Mmm. Good. Red Fang. Red best at killing. Even better than boss. Even better than Rosmantis. Red best.” She paused, then glanced behind her at Kal’tsit, then sighed and said. “Director Mom better, though. Red still learning how to kill like her.”

To my shock, Kal’tsit…blushed. Then she bent down and kissed Red on the forehead, which made the girl’s tail wag. “You are the best, child. Now, go. Take Texas to Ascalon, and do as they say. Treat her as…your big sister.”

“Mmm. ‘kay.” Red turned around and walked off. 

Rosmontis waited, watching Texas. The lupo in question turned to Exusiai. “You got this?”

“I got this, Cellinia. You…you do what you need to. But…only if you want to,” Exusiai said, sounding more than a little pained. 

“Honor. Blood. Family. These are what I want. Perhaps this…is one step to finding them.” Texas turned and followed Red. 

Rosmontis bowed to Kal’tsit. “Director. Doctors. Exusiai.” Then she followed after the other two. 

“Scariest little red riding hood ever,” James muttered. I walked over, and kicked him. 

“James! You do NOT set those two off! You should know that they’re ticking time bombs on legs!” I hissed. 

“I, yeah. Sorry. Shouldn’t have mentioned SWEEP, I guess. That’s a secret, too?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“SWEEP doesn’t exist. Do not mention it again,” Kal’tsit said firmly. “Unless we are alone. Do not speak to Ascalon. She is a janitor. A low-level janitor, who is bad at her job, and is somewhat dim, but is kept on out of charity.”

“Oh. Uh, it’s that kind of secret, huh?” James said.

“I didn’t even know it existed, or that we had internal secret police with the authorization to kill people,” I said, slowly turning to Kal’tsit. “Just how many of those suicides and accidents you or Warfarin have autopsied were intentional!?”

“I have not informed you SWEEP existed. And, as far as you are concerned, all those deaths were as described. You will not investigate this matter further,” Kal’tsit said firmly. Despite very definitely telling me about this earlier. Just what was I becoming a part of? Gods and monsters, demons and assassins? I signed up to be a doctor! 

“We’re starting to sound like the bad guys again, boss,” James said, and he sounded as pained as I was. 

“You may be good guys, James, Lucia, Lemuen. I, however, am an old, evil woman who has put entire nations to the sword. And I will do so again, if I must. A few more dead traitors at my feet are barely worth the mention. I am not good, nor am I just. I am instead what I must be. And in this case, I am the one who watches over Rhodes Island, and keeps her safe from all harm. So that good men and women like you may sleep at night with a clear conscience,” Kal’tsit said, and she actually sounded bitter. “Go to the O Ward. Be heroes. And forget what you have heard and seen here.”

“Director,” I began, feeling a bit guilty. 

“No. Go. This is what must be,” Kal’tsit said, and walked back into her office, and closed the door.

We started walking, James sticking to my side like a limpet, Exusiai on his other side. 

“So, um, you think maybe the Director needs to do a little trauma dumping herself?” James asked, which threw me for a bit of a loop.

“Honestly, yeah, probably. I mean, she’s as old as…uh, let’s just say dirt. Maybe we should take her for a picnic or something,” Exusiai said. “You know, let her unload and stuff. Does she like wine?”

“I…I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drink anything but water,” I admitted. “At staff parties, she stands in a corner and observes for a bit, then just leaves. Usually dragging Warfarin behind her once she’s sloshed or starts trying to get people to give her blood.”

“We’ll get her some box wine, old ladies love that stuff,” James said, and Exusiai and I just about died from snorting with laughter at the very thought. Box wine indeed. No proper Siracusan would ever be caught dead drinking that swill. 

…which is why I drink mine in my room, alone, when I am crying to a good romance movie with Myrrh, and have sworn her to eternal secrecy on the matter, along with the fact that we also eat frozen pizza. The deepest, blackest heresy. 

The O Ward is in the lower section of Rhodes Island, but set against the hull, where a large pane of windows has been installed. There are plenty of house plants set up, and comfortable couches in the lounge for those who are still ambulatory, while many of the rooms have access to sunlight. It’s a small mercy we can give them. Once you arrive in the O ward…you’re here until you die. 

This wasn’t what I had planned, but it seemed the Director and Chief were both conspiring against me. As soon as we walked in, several patients who knew me looked up and smiled at me, calling out greetings, and I went over to say hello to them. 

Age isn’t a good indicator of who ends up in the O Ward. Some were young, even children, but the mass of lesions on their bodies made it too painful to move far or fast. Others were older, with few visible lesions, but their organs were shutting down because many of their cells had been converted to originium. 

I went over and said hello to them, asking quietly how they were. Most were happy just to see a familiar face, but one in particular…one in particular had been haunting my dreams. 

“Hey, is that you, Doc?” Mok Ying said, smiling tiredly in my direction from her wheelchair in a patch of sunlight. “Come…come a little closer. I can’t…I can’t see you, anymore…”

I obliged, coming closer. Mok Ying is a 19-year-old cautus from Lungmen, who had previously been a petty thief. She has been with Rhodes Island for 3 years. When she arrived, she was suffering from malnutrition and advanced oripathy. Despite the lack of visible lesions, she had some of the highest cell integration I’ve seen, at 18%. She was placed on treatment immediately. For a year, it seemed that Mok Ying was responding to treatment. 

Then, disaster. On a routine deployment in Rim Billington, Mok Ying was exposed to originium dust particles when her safety gear was breached during a rescue operation for trapped miners. Mok Ying saved dozens of lives before she collapsed. I know. I was there, with her. I treated her condition as quickly as I could. 

I wasn’t fast enough. For the past year, Mok Ying has resided in the O Ward. I crouched down at her side and checked her monitor. It was off. I attempted to flick it back on, but Mok wheezed a laugh around the oxygen tubes going up her nose. 

“They…they turned it off. Won’t stop beeping. Today…today is my last day,” she said, her voice breathy and tired. “I’m gonna…gonna go to Sleep, tonight. Will you…will you be the one who puts me to Sleep, Doc? And sing for me, in that pretty voice of yours? That’s…that’s the last thing I want to hear.”

Tears blurred my vision, and I squeezed Mok’s hands. “There’s someone I want you to meet, Ying.”

“Yeah? Oh, is it the tall, handsome guy? I assume he is, he sounds tall and handsome. You…you finally get a boyfriend, Doc?” Ying whispered. 

“Hey. I’m James,” he said, crouching next to me and taking Ying’s hand. 

“Come…come a little closer, so I can feel your face. I can’t…I can’t see anymore,” Ying said, and James obliged. But, of course, instead of feeling his face, she reached down to his lab coat, and swiped his ID card. She already had mine stuffed under her hospital gown. 

James watched her clumsily palm it, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he took her empty hand, and moved it up to his face, letting her feel it.

“Ooo, he’s a handsome one, Doc. Don’t…don’t you let this one go,” Ying sighed. “Always…always wanted a handsome boyfriend…”

“I’m afraid you can’t have this one, Ying. He’s mine,” I said, trying and failing not to let my voice break. 

“Ying? Is that…is that you?” Exusiai said, and came over with us. 

Ying’s face lit up, though her milky eyes didn’t track Exusiai’s face. “Lil’ Sankta! It’s you? Here…here to chase me for stealing another package? Darn. Ya caught me. I…”

She started coughing, flecks of blood and bits of originium coming up. James and I took her hands, and after a few moments, she stopped.

“It’s…it’s OK. I’m…I’m going to Sleep…soon,” Ying whispered. 

“You’re Rope, aren’t you?” James said, and I could hear the pain in his voice.

“Yep! That’s…that’s me. The best…the best cat burglar in…Lungmen. I…I hurt, doc. Can…can you give me a little more?” Ying suddenly begged. 

With misty eyes, I turned up her morphine drip. At her stage, we don’t worry about addiction. Besides, she was asking me to give her a fatal dose that night. That’s what we mean when we say that someone in the O Ward is ‘going to Sleep.’ Oripathy is always terminal. At some point, people stop fighting. When they do, when they’re ready…we give them a lethal dose of morphine in a sterile cremation chamber. Once they’re dead, their body will turn to originium dust. The organic remains are incinerated, and the originium that remains…it’s taken to the heart of Rhodes Island, and used to fuel the landship.

I know. Some would consider it barbaric. We the infected consider it one last gift we can give our fellows: Our very hearts and souls, given to the Island, that the fight can continue. One day, I had expected that to be me. 

“Lucia,” James said quietly. “A word?”

I nodded. I knew what he would say, but I nodded. We stepped over to a private office. Exusiai posted herself by the door, but James shook his head. “No. You…you come in with us.”

We all went inside and sat down. James put his head in his hands, and I sat beside him, putting my arms around him.

“You know her,” I said, and it wasn’t a question.

He nodded. “Rope. She…oh God. I thought…in the game…she was fine…”

“She’s always looked fine. A very rare case. Even now, she has barely any visible lesions. But her BOCD is up to .81u/L. Her cell integration…it’s at 23%. It’s a miracle she’s still alive. And…” My voice hitched. “And…and she wants me to euthanize her tonight, after I sing her a lullaby. When…when we were on deployment together…I used to sing with her. She had a lovely voice…”

“I used to run into her in Lungmen. I’d let her steal ‘packages’ with a little food and money in them,” Exusiai said, stripping and cleaning her gun, eyes fixed on her work. “Didn’t even know she was infected. She kept it quiet. During the crisis…she helped evacuate civilians and then fight back against Reunion. Joined Rhodes Island for treatment, shocked me.”

“She’s still got our ID cards,” James said, looking down at his lab coat. “She…she takes them in the game too. I just…this is all becoming too real. First you two, now Rope…Ying…” He put his head back in his hands. 

I swallowed. “I know…I know I said a stage one or two patient. But…she’s my friend too. If…if you can save her…”

There were so many others here I cared about. Other patients, other friends. Ying was just the first one we ran into. But today was her last day. Her last chance. 

“I do what I did with you,” James said, lowering his hands and looking up at me. “I don’t cure her. We scrub her blood with the hemodialysis machine. I clean up her internal organs as much as I can, but not all the way. She might only get one kidney, and no spleen. Just enough to keep her functional. Maybe we come back, maybe we don’t. Not a cure. But enough so that Ying…Ying doesn’t have to go to Sleep tonight.”

I nodded slowly. “That…that sounds like a plan. But we can’t wait three days. Maybe not even three hours. Ying…Ying doesn’t have very long. Even if we don’t euthanize her…she probably won’t make it through the night. She’s fought hard for a very long time.”

“Do it. Make the calls. I…I’ll go get our ID cards back,” James said, and Exusiai had her gun back together in a flash as she followed him out.

I took a deep breath, then went over to the phone and dialed a special number. A moment later, a chipper Cautus voice said, “Yes? Who is this?”

“Savage, it’s Dr. Sussurro. Priority one call to Leader Amiya,” I said. “It’s urgent enough to interrupt anything that isn’t an existential threat.”

“Oh! Oh, yes, I was told to expect your call. One moment. Amiya! Amiya, priority one from Dr. Sussurro!” 

A heartbeat later, and Amiya said. “Yes?”

“We need to move up Bones’ next demonstration. As much as possible. I’ll call and clear out an OR. It’s…it’s Mok Ying. She…she’s going to Sleep tonight, if we don’t do something.”

“I understand. Consider my schedule cleared. I’ll have the team meet you in medical. Thank you, Lucia. You and James…I hope you can save another life.”

I nodded, tears in my eyes. “Me too. Rhodes Island…we’re not a company. Not really.”

“No. We’re family. Get moving. I’ll be there.”

I made a couple more hurried calls and then hung up on a swearing Warfarin. I didn’t give a damn. It was happening now. 

I hurried back out to find James kneeling by Ying. “...so we’ll take you for one last walk. How does that sound?”

“Ooo, don’t tell Doc. She’s the jealous type,” Ying said, her gaze looking just to the right of James, but a smile on her lips. “It…it sounds good, though. One last walk. Then…then I can…I can Sleep…”

I got behind her wheelchair, even as a concerned-looking nurse came up. “Dr. Sussurro?”

“We’re taking Ying. She…she needs…she needs one last walk, before…”

“Before my goodbye party!” Ying said, then coughed up more blood.

The nurse nodded, tears in his own eyes. “You…you do that. I…yes. She’s scheduled for…for this evening. She’d requested you, but…I’d told her you were busy…”

“Never too busy for a friend,” I said, and we pushed Ying’s wheelchair towards the door.

“Oh, by the way,” Ying said, and clumsily held out our ID cards. “You dropped these.”

“Darn, how’d I misplace that,” James said, gently taking the cards and handing me back mine.

“It’s…it’s a secret,” Ying sighed, then dozed off on a cloud of morphine. I had to check her monitor to make sure she was still alive. 

When we arrived back at the main hospital level, things were in a flurry, and happening fast. James and I got prepped for surgery, while the still sleeping Ying was wheeled away to be prepped herself. Warfarin and Kal’tsit suited up along with us, and to my surprise, so did Amiya.

“I want to be in there for this one. I didn’t get a proper look at your arts last time, Dr. McCoy. This time, I want to be able to see what you do,” Amiya told him. 

“You got it, Boss. Though the plan isn’t for me to cure her,” he said, and laid out what we’d briefly discussed. 

“Hmm, well, it’s not what I wanted, but I think it’ll work for a data point,” Warfarin said, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’ll at least be amusing, that’s for sure. Whatcha think, Kal?”

“I think it is reasonable. Mok Ying’s case is too advanced for Dr. McCoy to safely cure her. However, even an alleviation of her symptoms could yield valuable data. Perhaps more so, as it would allow us to develop other therapies. Additionally, it will preserve his abilities to potentially cure more people. This is a well-reasoned plan.”

The last to join our team was Myrtle, who looked thrilled to be back and involved in the most exciting operation, but was keeping quiet. We reviewed Mok’s case, where the infection was the worst, and then we went into surgery. 

Ying was laid out on the table. She wasn’t sedated: her condition was too delicate for that, though the amount of morphine she was on meant she would hardly feel pain, regardless, and she was currently insensate. She was hooked up to a modified hemodialysis machine, which was pumping out her blood and putting it back in for now.

“Right. Making first incision,” James said. We were starting with the major organs: Heart, lungs, liver, and the right kidney, which was still functional, unlike the left, which was completely crystallized.

The surgery lasted for hours. Kal’stit and Warfarin stepped in and helped with healing arts so James could preserve his stamina. He had to take several breaks even so, rehydrating with some apple juice and catching his breath so he didn’t go into arts overdose. Slowly, he removed then regrew all of Ying’s organs, save the spleen, which was nothing but a crystal lump. He even replaced one of her eyes, though the other we agreed to give up as a bad job, and simply removed and discarded it. James was running out of gas, and Ying getting one eye back was better than nothing.

Then, once she was sewn back up, he purified most of her blood. Not all of it, the hemodialysis machine had done a good bit of lifting on that front, but he laboriously filtered what the machine was going to pump back in, regardless, taking out every last crystal. 

I watched his own pain grow. His right hand grew so crystallized it became useless, and I had to hold the knife for him. I watched one of his eyes cloud over as crystals grew within it. I watched him sweat actual blood, there at the end, when I forcibly called it. 

Ying was not cured. She lost one kidney, one eye, her spleen, and we amputated both her feet below the knees, as her feet had nearly completely crystallized from originium pooling there. James insisted on rebuilding her arms and hands, and we agreed to let him. She can get prosthetic feet, Rhodes Island has the very best. She may even walk again, or simply use her wheelchair.

But, instead of going to sleep, at the end of the surgery, while I was holding a near-comatose James in my arms…Ying woke up.

Her eye fluttered open, and she looked around. “What’s…what’s everybody doin’? Did…did you come to say goodbye to little ole me? I’m going to Sleep tonight, you know.”

“No, Ying,” Amiya said, taking her hand. “You’re not.”

Ying’s brow furrowed. “But, Leader Amiya…I’m dying. I just…I hurt so much. I’m ready for it to be over.”

“Are you? Do you still hurt?” Amiya asked seriously.

Ying opened her mouth, then closed it. She looked down at herself, blinking in surprise. “I…I can see! Sacred blood of the Sui, I can SEE! I don’t even hurt anymore! Not that bad! What, what did you-”

Her eye snapped to James, and her mouth fell open. “It’s him. He…he’s the one. The…the Savior.”

“Not…not a Savior,” James slurred. “Just…just a doctor. Call me Bones.”

“Lie down, Ying,” Kal’tsit ordered, and pressed her back. “We still have some healing to do. But you will not find eternal rest this day. You will fight on.”

Teary-eyed, Ying complied, a grin on her face. “I…I’m not going to die?”

“No. Today, someone stood up to the god of death, and told him to go fuck himself,” Warfarin said, a manic grin on her face. 

Ying, bless her, flipped the bird. “Puk gaai, Death! We’re Rhodes Island!” 

We put James in the waiting wheelchair. Now it was his turn to be wheeled to a hospital bed. 

“You are relieved from all duties,” Amiya said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Stay with him. He will need you.”

“I…thank you,” I said, and hurried out with James. I couldn’t help but notice, however, that Amiya held up a hand, and arts crackled between her fingertips. What was she doing? What was she planning?

I didn’t have time to think, even as we passed the Doctor. They strode alongside us for a moment, nodding to James, who blinked up at them, his one good eye struggling to focus.

“Doktah?” he mumbled. “That…that you?”

“It’s me, Bones. You did good. But we need to talk. Later. For now…you did good. What I saw…we’ll talk later. Good work.”

Then, inscrutable as ever, Doctor wandered off to do…whatever it is they do. 

James was ensconced in a hospital bed, and I performed an exam. After I pushed morphine, which relaxed him considerably. He’d lost sight in his left eye. I felt hot tears on my face. “James…you didn’t have to…”

“No. But I wanted to. Just…stay with me, please? It’s…it’s so dark. You’re the only light I can see,” he mumbled.

With words like that, I’d stay by his side even if the whole landship caught fire. He was soon asleep, but I wasn’t. I held onto his hand, my mind spinning with possibilities. There was so much to learn, so much to do, but…but it wasn’t medical possibilities in my mind. 

Maybe I wouldn’t start taking that birth control after all.

I’m such an idiot. 

But I don’t know how long James will be with me. And I want something of him. 

Saints and angels, I’m so stupid. Why couldn’t I fall in love with a normal one?