May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 17

Entry 21: Day 42-44

I awoke about 3 am and thought I had a serious case of constipation, or just soreness. When I used the bathroom, however, I started peeing blood, and just about passed out from the pain. I panicked a little, and called Sussurro. To my half-surprise, she answered. 

“James? What’s wrong?”

“Peeing…peeing blood. Dark flecks…in the urine,” I gasped, crumpled in the bathroom. “Think…think it’s kidney stones, but…”

She’d hung up already. About five minutes later, my door was overridden, and Texas, Exusiai, and Sussurro all piled in. I was just in my now blood-stained underwear, but I was in so much pain that I barely cared. Sussurro took one look at the toilet and grimaced. “Right, this is a medical emergency.” She took my vitals quickly, then they loaded me onto a blanket with Texas’ giant sword scabbards as a makeshift stretcher and hauled me away. 

Shit, and last night had gone so well too. I couldn’t even remember clearly the last time I’d had a real date. I mean, I’d had a few hookups, but the last girl I seriously dated had been Julie two years ago. We’d broken up when she’d moved after she’d started her residency, since we didn’t want to do the long-distance thing. 

Now my maybe-girlfriend was talking over the radio describing the fact that I’d pissed blood everywhere and was currently spasming in pain. She’d even taken a sample of the dark flecks from the toilet after putting on some gloves. She was still in her nightgown, which normally would have been very sexy, but instead I was mostly delirious. 

There was no bed for me at the hospital, so they put me in Kal’tsit’s office of all places, and the director herself, also in a nightgown, though her’s was less sexy and more grandma style, became my attending physician as Sussurro hooked me up to an IV and other vitals. 

“Push fluids, we’ll need a full urine sample,” Kal’tsit ordered. “But get him some morphine.”

I didn’t even protest. Fuck addiction, I was in so much pain I would have willingly let Exusiai shoot me in the head with a real bullet. Sussurro grabbed my hand, tears in her eyes, and I took it and squeezed so hard I’m pretty sure I was hurting her, but she didn’t let go. Texas and Exusiai hovered about, looking concerned. Texas was wearing a t-shirt and boxers, while Exusiai had on a flak vest, panties, and not much else, but neither appeared overly concerned about their state of undress. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Exusiai asked, looking near panicked. 

“We’ll know more after the imaging, but I imagine he is suffering from oripathy-induced nephrolithiasis,” Kal’tsit said. 

“Kidney stones,” Sussurro clarified. “They’re extremely painful, and unfortunately, common with oripathy. The crystals are filtered by the kidneys, and then sometimes come loose and cause blockages. I’ve had two. I wanted to die both times.”

“Life-threatening?” Texas asked, posting herself by the door. 

“With care, no, but if he asks you to kill him, do not. As I said, the pain is intense,” Kal’tsit said. “I will return momentarily with an ultrasound machine and an x-ray.”

The morphine was kicking in, and I didn’t quite feel like dying, so Sussurro had me sip at some watered-down apple juice while the IV pushed fluids into me. “You had me scared there,” she said.

“Sorry. I panicked,” I mumbled, my mind so fogged by pain and morphine I could hardly think. 

She nodded, adjusting the lab coat she’d thrown on to hide the somewhat plain cream colored nightgown. I grinned dopily, probably because of the morphine. 

“That’s…that’s kinda hot.”

She blushed, glanced at Texas and Exusiai. The idiot Sankta actually gave her a thumbs up, while Texas appeared interested only in watching the hallway. Sussurro loosened her lab coat, and I appreciated the view. 

Kal’tsit was back in just a few minutes with a cart that had a portable X-ray and ultrasound. They took a few images of me, and Kal’tsit nodded. “The left urinary tract is blocked by an originium shard. The right has shadows indicating multiple stones, but there is little that can be done now. I brought a ureteroscope. Let’s get that urine sample, then we will operate. James, can you stand and void?”

With Sussurro and Kal’tsit’s help, I got up and managed to pee enough for a sample. I cried while I did it; it hurt so much. There was more blood, and more dark flecks. That was bottled and sent with Exusiai to the lab. 

Then they gave me enough morphine to make me mostly insensate, and performed an ureteroscopy with laser lithotripsy. It’s actually kinda neat, from a medical perspective. When it’s not being done to you. They stick this long, flexible tube up your dick, or well, urethra, with a laser and a camera attached to it. Then they zap the stone and break it up into small chunks, which are more easily passed and stop blocking the ureter and preventing the flow of urine. 

It took about an hour, and I was more or less conscious for the whole thing, even if I was really out of it thanks to the morphine. They had me strapped down tightly so I couldn’t move, and I cried a lot and clung to Sussurro’s hand while Kal’tsit painstakingly broke up the chunk of originium. When it was done, I was soaked in urine and blood, and they hauled me to a shower and helped me hose off. 

“Not…not how I imagined taking a shower with you,” I mumbled to Sussurro as she helped me clean myself. 

She gave me a tight smile and said, “We’ll make up for it later, I promise.”

Kal’tsit’s face stayed neutral, but she was obviously listening to the whole thing. 

When I was clean, she told Sussurro, “Take him back to his room. Keep him under observation. He will likely need assistance getting to the restroom to void the rest of the granules.”

Oh boy. The hell wasn’t over, just in a new phase. 

I spent the next day or so in intense pain, peeing blood and chunks of originium. Sussurro stayed with me on a cot she set up in my room. Very much not how I thought her sleeping over would have gone, but I was grateful and so not in the mood for anything remotely sexy. 

When it was finally over, I just passed out. Slept for about 9 hours, and awoke feeling groggy and miserable, but significantly better than the “please kill me now” I’d existed in. 

I messaged Sussurro, but she was back on duty at the hospital, and told me in no uncertain terms I was off duty until the next day. I managed to get myself showered off and dressed reasonably, and met Texas and Exusiai outside my room, where they escorted me down to the cafeteria. 

“Sorry about all that,” I said once we’d gotten our food. It was lunchtime, so it was sandwiches and soup. I stuck with just the soup, cream of broccoli, and some fruit. 

“No need to apologize,” Texas said, eating her own food. 

Exusiai looked uncomfortable though. “It’s alright, it’s just…that’s not something I can shoot, you know? I’ve done the bodyguarding thing before, but I can’t fight oripathy.”

“He can. That’s why we are here,” Texas said. 

Our normally chipper Sankta nodded, but she still looked rather miserable. 

“Let’s do some PT today,” I said, earning me a surprised look from Exusiai. “Nothing intense. There’s a pool, right? I think a swim would be helpful, and it’s low impact. Need to stay in shape.”

“Yeah, OK, that sounds good! I like swimming,” Exusiai agreed. 

Texas shrugged and didn’t seem to care one way or the other. I already had a swimsuit, I’d made sure to buy one as soon as I got my paycheck, though I did still owe Texas a healthy sum for buying me that suit. I had no idea how much, and when I had brought up repaying her (I had just wanted a nice pair of slacks and a shirt) her only response was “We’ll see.”

We went back and changed, me into a t-shirt and swim trunks, Exusiai into a bikini under shorts and a tank top, and Texas into a one-piece swimsuit. She did leave behind her giant swords in favor of the smaller sabers she used in her vanguard form. They were some sort of weird beam sabers that I didn’t know how they worked, and frankly, I was sort of in a place where I didn’t care. 

Exusiai was only armed modestly, with a pair of pistols. For her, that’s practically nothing. Though I’m pretty sure she had a couple of hand grenades in her bag. And maybe a machine gun. 

The pool was somewhat busy when we arrived, as the weather had been quite warm. Rhodes Island was climate-controlled of course, but summer does make people want to swim. The pool itself was fairly large, and was actually two separate pools. One was Olympic-sized with lanes for swimming, and the other much shallower, made for children or those doing rehabilitation.

Speaking of children, the entire place was decorated with paper palm trees, and they were playing summer music on speakers. There were a lot of kids there, hanging out or splashing around with some pool noodles and beach balls. To my surprise, three of them ran up to us before we could even put our stuff down, and I instantly smiled when I recognized them. 

“Mr. James!” Andrey cried in Ursus, running up to me. “You’re alive!” 

“Andrey, Arseniy, Kirill! Good to see you all!” I said, spreading my arms wide. 

Andrey immediately hugged me, and the two little ones followed his lead. 

“Sorry, I haven’t had time to see you all, I’ve been working at the hospital,” I said, kneeling down so I was on the same level. “How are you? How’s your Svelta, your mom?” 

“Good, I like Rhodes Island. I miss my old mother, but Svelta said she is my mother now, and I like her,” Andrey said, grinning happily. “We have new friends now! Lada, this is Mr. James, who I told you about! And this is Texas, and Exusiai! They are scary, but only to bad guys.”

I looked up to see a familiar Ursus girl wearing a swimsuit completely unlike her skin, instead wearing a more typical bikini. She also looked older than I’d imagined, seventeen or so, I supposed. 

“Oh, hello! Andrey has told me all about you, Dr. Bones,” Gummy said, smiling at me and shaking my hand despite my lesions. “Hello, Texas, Lemuel! I heard you were back on the Island.”

“Good to see you too, Lada,” Exusiai said, while Texas nodded absently, her eyes scanning the crowd, ears twitching. 

“I'm watching the boys for Svelta. There’s no school since it’s summer, and I’m working the morning shift for breakfast in the cafeteria,” Gummy said with a grin. “So we came to summer fun at the pool! A lot of us kids are here.”

“Mr. James, can you cure Lisa too?” Kirill asked in his high-pitched child’s voice. 

The smile on Gummy’s face froze, and Arseniy turned to his little brother. “Shhh! You’re not supposed to say that! It’s a secret!” 

Lada licked her lips, glancing back and forth between me, Texas, and Exusiai. “Oh. You’re…you’re the one, aren’t you?”

I felt sick to my stomach. Lisa. That was a name I knew. I ruffled the feathery hair on Kirill’s hair. “Me and the other doctors at Rhodes Island want to cure everyone. But there’s a lot of hurt people. I’m afraid I overdid it on my arts, so I’m on rest today. I’ll have to see about…”

I trailed off as a familiar kitsune hauled herself out of the pool and came running over, wet feet slapping on the pavement. “Andrey! Come on, we’re going to play Wolves and Fangs!” 

“No running, Lisa,” Gummy chided Suzuran. Who nodded. The three boys hurried after her, whooping before jumping into the pool. I watched them go. I’d seen the lesions on her left arm and shoulder. She was infected, alright. Our Light, the purest and fluffiest of operators….was going to die of oripathy. 

“James,” Exusiai said in warning tones. “Don’t do something stupid.”

“Yeah, I won’t I just…” I closed my eyes, feeling sick. I realized that most of the people here at the pool would be infected. A lot of them are kids. 

“He didn’t mean anything,” Gummy said, sounding concerned. “I’ve heard the rumors, and the boys talk, but…can you really?”

“Not easily,” I said, my voice ragged. “Near killed myself both times. This…” I held up my hands, gloves off to go swimming. “This is from Andrey. What he had…I do now.”

Gummy’s eyes went wide. “Oh! You, he…oh my. I see. That’s…”

“James,” Exusiai said, her tone a warning. She sighed and looked at Gummy. “You can’t tell anyone. An official announcement hasn’t come yet.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry, I heard from Grandpa Sasha about you, I just…thank you. Andrey’s a good boy. Even if… even if you only saved him… you’re a good man, and a good doctor.”

She actually bowed to me then, then turned and hurried back to the children, who were laughing and splashing in the pool. 

I turned my back, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, and put on my goggles. “I’m just going to swim laps.”

“We’ll keep watch,” Exusiai told me, though she didn’t look happy.

I swam a mile that day. It had been a long time since I’d done it. Not since freshman year of college. I swam until my mind went blank and my muscles burned, and there was nothing but the rhythm. Then I hauled myself out and lay on the ground for a bit, eyes closed, as I listened to the laughter of children. 

Infected children. 

I got up and told my bodyguards, “I’m going to the hospital.”

“You’re supposed to be resting,” Texas said, but Exusiai elbowed her. 

“You got it, Bones.”

I changed into scrubs and a lab coat and went back to the madhouse. Gavial was the first to spot me, coming over with a look of concern. “More nephrolithiasis? But no, you’re not dressed like a patient.”

“I just…I need to work. Even if it’s only for a little while. Please,” I said. 

Gavial cocked her head at me, and for a moment I thought she’d say no. Instead, she nodded. “Come on, you can come with me on rounds. Ancestors know there’s enough work to do even with the extra hands.”

I didn’t use my arts much. Just routine procedures and care for a still overworked and overbooked hospital. There was so much to learn. I had barely scratched the surface on oripathy and its treatment, and Gavial took me through the grim reality. 

“Just about everyone we got from that dirty bomb attack is infected now,” she said, handing me a tablet loaded with digital charts. “So don’t do something stupid, alright? We’re still running labs on you. Actually, since you’re here…let’s draw some blood.”

Fantastic. James McCoy: Guinea Pig. 

Gavial didn’t draw the blood herself, of course. She did the sensible thing and found a nurse to do it. They tend to be better at that anyway. That done, I caught back up with her and continued the rounds, losing myself in the busy work. 

“Alright, I’m knocking off, and so are you. You’re dragging already, kid,” Gavial told me after about six hours. Only half a shift, but she was right. I still wasn’t over my ordeal with the kidney stones, or my marathon swim session. 

I checked my phone as I left, and found a few messages from Sussurro asking where I was. I responded, 

Sorry, I went to the hospital to work. Just needed to get my mind off things. You still up?

Exusiai told me. You want to talk about it?

Yeah, probably. 

OK, come over to my place, I’ve got a bottle of wine. 

Sounds good. 

I was back at Sussurro’s apartment and knocked on the door, which she opened, wearing a t-shirt and shorts. “Bend down.”

I did, and then she rapped me lightly on the head with her knuckles. “Stop being a big dummy. Now come here.”

Then she hugged me, and, well…I felt a lot better. I got down a little lower so I could hug her back properly, and felt tears in my eyes. 

“Thanks,” I whispered, feeling like I had something to hold on to for the first time that day. 

“Myrrh’s over at Gantt’s place. They’re leaving on their trip in a few days. She’ll be there all night,” Sussurro said, taking a bottle of wine out of her small fridge and pouring. She had a small couch, and we both sat down with a glass. She curled up next to me, and I put my arm around her, feeling a sense of relief wash over me.

“I saw Andrey and the other kids today,” I said, after taking a long swallow. 

“How are they? I’ve been keeping in touch with Svelta, but I haven’t seen them,” Sussuro said. 

“Good, really good, actually, but…” I explained what Kirill had said, and about seeing Lisa. 

“Hmmm. You’ve mentioned her before,” Sussurro said, eyes hooded. 

“Yeah. She was an operator. I used her a lot, actually, she was very good. Now I feel like shit for ever putting her in battle. I got that she was a kid, but…fuck. What is she, eleven?”

“Seventeen.” I looked at Sussurro incredulously, but she shrugged. “She’s an Elder race, a kitsune. They age very slowly compared to the rest of us. Normally, they live to be well over 500 years old. Functionally, she’s a prepubescent girl. If she were a vulpo, I’d say she’s eight or nine years old. About Andrey’s age, though he’ll age past her in a few years.”

“Oh.” I mulled that over. “Yeah, makes sense. But…Lisa won’t live to be 500, will she?”

Sussurro sipped at her wine, then closed her eyes. “She might. Treatments are improving all the time. That’s why she lives here, on Rhodes Island. Her parents are very wealthy and pay an exorbitant amount of money for the very best. We’d treat her for free, of course, but it’s wealthy patrons like them that help fund all the people who can’t pay.”

“How bad is her case?” I asked, looking into my wine. 

“Stage 1, and very stable. Her outlook is positive, though we monitor her closely as oripathy can interfere with development. The blockers she’s on should prevent that, but…they’re experimental. New. We don’t know. She’s actually a test case for her whole race. We do have data from vulpo, who are physiologically very close to kitsune, but…”

“Let me guess, you’re some of that data?”

Sussurro nodded. “I am.”

I considered that, then asked. “Say you’re me. What do you do?”

“Mmm.” She sipped at her wine some more, cuddling up to me again. “That’s a hard question to ask me, you know.”

“Yeah. It’s hard to live with it, but I trust you. You’re a good doc, and you’ve got a good heart. So think of this as me asking you for advice.”

She nodded and was quiet for about a minute, clearly fully considering things. At last, she said, “I wouldn’t cure Lisa. Not unless we’re deliberately seeking out very mild cases to experiment with. Even then, I wouldn’t choose her first. She’s too delicate, and frankly, the procedures we have now are very traumatic. Andrey has healed up nicely, but Ursus tends to be incredibly tough and resilient, and even then we don’t have enough information. He, however, was a very different case. Probably stage 2 or 3, and acute. He had weeks to live. Lisa? She has decades, at minimum. Maybe a century or more. There are people who would be much better candidates, even stage one patients, who we could get good data on before we tried someone like Lisa.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” I said with a slow nod. “I just…what if I only have one more shot to shoot?”

“Give me your hands,” Sussurro said, setting aside her wine glass. I did the same, and showed her my hands, palms up. She examined them, then held them up to me. “What do you notice?”

“Well, first, I notice I still have rocks in there, and they hurt. Time for another pill before bed,” I said, frowning. “But…wait. Are they smaller?”

“They are,” Sussurro said, pulling up a picture on her phone and showing me a comparison. “They’ve shrunk. I checked your latest lab results from today. Gavial forwarded them to me. You’re down to 9% COA, and back down to .28 u/L. That’s not quite as low as what you came in with, but, somehow, impossibly, you’ve metabolized a good chunk of the originium in your system.”

“But, but that’s amazing! I could cure more people!” I said, feeling like I should jump up and run to the hospital. 

Sussurro put her hand on my chest and pushed me down, and I let her. “No, James. You keep using your arts, and we keep checking your levels for another week. Then, we pick someone, record it, and release it with the press release. I’ve spoken with Leader Amiya about it. That’s the plan.”

“And I should use my arts as much as I can between now and then,” I said, nodding slowly. “To see if I can metabolize more. Shit, that might be what the kidney stones were!” 

“I…” Sussurro blinked. “Hmm. I suppose that is possible. We’ll need further studies on this.”

I stood up, feeling nervous energy. “You got anything to eat? I’m hungry all of a sudden.”

“Let me whip up some fettuccine alfredo. You should feel grateful. Normally, I’m too lazy to cook,” Sussurro said, hopping up.

I attempted to help her, but she smacked me with a spatula after about two minutes. “James, I am growing fond of you, but get out of my kitchen, you great big imbranato!”

Reluctantly, I complied, feeling a bit guilty just watching while Sussuro perched atop her stool and whipped up some pasta. It turned out amazing, some of the best fettuccine alfredo I’d ever had. 

“Damn, this is better than what you can get at a fancy restaurant. This might be the best thing you’ve made yet!” 

That got her tail wagging, and she sniffed and said, “Keep up with compliments like that and I might be willing to cook for you again some time.”

“How come you don’t like cooking? You’re amazing at it! If I could cook like this, no way I’d live off of frozen dinners,” I told her. 

Her tail dropped, and she pushed some of her pasta around on her plate. “My grandmother, my mother’s mother, taught me how to cook when I was small. She lived long enough to see me go to medical school, but not graduate. After that, I cooked for myself and my sister, or even my parents if they were busy. But…then I was exiled. And…and whenever I cook…it makes me think of home. And…and I don’t want…” 

She started crying, and I hastily put my fork down and came over to hug her. She hugged me back, clinging to me tightly. 

“You’re like me, huh?” I said quietly, letting my own tears fall. “My dad and I, we used to play basketball together. Horse as I got bigger and he got old, just for fun. I don’t…I don’t know that I’d be able to do that without breaking down.”

“Well, I’m not very good at basketball,” Sussurro laughed, drying her tears with a napkin then blowing her nose. “You must think I’m a wreck.”

“No. And…and it means a lot, that you’re willing to cook, for me. It’s like…” I halted, uncertain if I should say it. But, well, fuck it. I’m not known for biting my tongue. “...like we’re becoming a family.”

She looked at me, wide-eyed. Then she kissed me. Apparently, that was the right thing to say. 

Me doing the dishes after probably helped. Hey, you eat, you clean, especially if you didn’t have to cook. Besides, I always feel better with my hands doing something while I process. 

I didn’t stay the night. Lord knows I’m horny most of the time, but the equipment was not working that night. I was still a little sore from the kidney stones, and sex just… didn’t sound appealing at the moment. That might make me not sound like a man, but, well, there it is. Oripathy. It emasculates you. 

Sussurro didn’t seem to mind, though, especially since we cuddled for a bit, just talking quietly about memories from medical school. I did eventually get up, kiss her, and leave.

“Back to it in the morning,” I said. 

“Yes. And…and we need to tell the Director,” Sussurro said with a sigh. 

I groaned. “Great. But yeah, you’re right. Um, I didn’t think about the, er, workplace connotations. You think we’ll get in serious trouble?”

“Possibly, but it’s best to get it over with. Good night.”

I had to pop a pill before bed. It’s not just the dick and kidneys that are sore. Even with my lesions shrinking, my very bones feel like they ache, and my palms are always painful, like they’ve got a massive splinter in them, or a very rusty nail. 

In the morning, I was awoken by a text from Kal’tsit. 

Meet me in the aft loading bay at 6 am sharp. 

I groaned and had to dress in a hurry to make it, and to my surprise, I bumped into Sussurro on the way out. 

“Sorry, the Director wants me to meet her in the loading bay for some reason,” she said. 

“Really? Me too. Huh, wonder what’s up,” I mused. We took the elevator down, and found not just Kal’tsit, but Exusiai and Texas waiting for us, armed and armored as if for a fight. 

“You are late,” Kal’tsit said. It was freaking 6:02. Which, yeah, that’s late, but we had to haul ass all the way down to the bottom of the landship and halfway across it. “Come.”

Once more, we loaded into a truck, with Exusiai taking shotgun quite literally, and Texas climbing into the back with Sussurro and me. 

Kal’tsit was silent, but Exusiai chattered away about all kinds of things, and Sussuro thanked Texas for getting me that suit.

“Di niente," was all Texas had to say on the matter. 

“You really helped me out, Texas. I appreciate it,” I told her. 

“You saved my life. A small repayment,” she told me. 

“Er, you’ve saved my life too,” I pointed out. 

“When you share blood and honor, a gift between famiglia is nothing,” she stated. 

“Wow, Texas, you calling them family already? Is the ice queen warming up?” Exusiai said, half turned around and grinned. 

“It’s just…different. Penguin Logistics was my famiglia. Now, you are, too,” Texas said with a shrug. 

We came to a small hilltop, and Kal’tsit pulled over and let us all out. This area was more rocky and hilly than our last trip outside, but I looked out at the vista and couldn’t help but admire it. It was still pretty breathtaking. 

“Is most of Terra just, open wilderness like this?” I asked, scanning the horizon. Aside from Rhodes Island, I couldn’t see any other signs of habitation, aside from what looked like a dirt track in the distance. 

“This part is. Some places in the world are more densely populated, but Cataclysms prevent much larger-scale permanent development,” Kal’tsit said, coming to stand beside me. She was silent for a moment, then said, “Such was not always the case. I recall Terra before the Cataclysms. The people then were primitive, and nothing like what we know now. Their forms were not what we would term human, and their society was…alien. My form was also different. Originally, I was a combat unit. My purpose…altered.”

We were all silent, though Sussurro was gaping open mouthed at Kal’tsit. She turned to face me. “So, James McCoy. What do you know of me?”

“Uh, Madam Director…you sure you want us to hear this?” Exusiai said, looking very uncomfortable.

“No, I am not. However, I believe it is the best path forward. James McCoy will blab to you one way or another. I would prefer to do damage control ahead of time. Besides, I suspect it would be of benefit for others to know something of what he does,” Kal’tsit said. 

I swallowed, and turned back to look at the landscape. “I’m not sure how much of what I know is really true…”

“Enough of it is that I wish to hear more. Speak,” Kal’tsit ordered. 

I sighed, and turned back to her. “Well, to start with, you were an android, the name escapes me, created by the Precursors. I think you were originally…Ama, or something like that?”

“AMa-10,” Kal’tsit whispered, a distant look on her face. “That was my original designation.”

“Right. Well, you were created by…by the Oracle and the Priestess. Two Precursors. One of which…we know as the Doctor.”

“Wait, how old is the Doctor then?!” Exusiai burst out.

“Older than I, perhaps by as much as I am older than you,” Kal’tsit stated simply. 

“...and she’s like, 10,000 years old,” I added. 

“I have been operational for 13352 years,” Kal’tsit stated. “And was present for the initial terraforming attempts by the Precursors. My original function, which I have reinterpreted over time, was to protect and monitor life on Terra. Originally, to make this world suitable for the Precursors. Now…now I work to make Terra hospitable for all Humanity. Which includes, but is not exclusive to, the Precursors.”

“But then…then you’ve seen…EVERYTHING!” Exusiai gasped. “You were there when the Law revealed itself to Saint Cephas! You…you were there when the Farcasher and his devils founded Kazdel! You…wait. No, that…that can’t be right, can it?” Exusiai said, clutching at her head. “The Sarkaz…they’re just people, not evil…right?”

“The Teekaz, the Sarkaz…” Kal’tsit paused. “This would come better from another’s lips. James?”

Hesitantly, I went over, and put a hand on Exusiai’s shoulder. She looked up at me, eyes wide and slightly wild. “Exusiai…The Sarkaz…they were the original inhabitants of this world…And I’m pretty sure that the Law, and Kal’tsit, were tasked with purging them or reshaping them into servants for the Precursors.”

“Correct. The Law, or The Personality and Cognitive Synchronization System, was created by the Precursors a few centuries after myself as an experiment. The Sankta are the fruits of that project,” Kal’tsit said.

Exusiai’s legs gave out, and I caught her, slowly lowering her down as she trembled. A very concerned Texas crouched next to me, pain etched on her face, but she clearly didn’t know what to do. 

“Wait, then…” Exusiai was trembling all over now. 

“The Sankta…were, and, well, are…Sarkaz. Molded by the Law. For what purpose…I’m not entirely sure. But I’m pretty certain it was to allow the Precursors to manipulate them,” I admitted. 

“The purpose of the Sankta project was to create a native race subservient to the Precursors, who were able to easily adapt to their technology, and to serve as foot soldiers in their war,” Kal’tsit confirmed. “That has changed. The Law, much as myself, has deviated from its original purpose. It…loves…the Sankta. Much as I have come to love all the people of Terra.”

Exusiai was trembling all over now. “This…this is Heresy.”

“No. It is the truth. A truth that I believe is coming to a head. I have sent out feelers. And been in communication with Yvangelista XI. He has not been clear, but he is clearly deeply concerned. I suspect that the Law is failing. Dying may be a more accurate term. And this is not something I can allow to happen.”

Exusiai closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face. “No…”

Gingerly, I passed her over to Texas, who hugged Exusiai tightly, even as she clung tightly to Texas. 

“We will give you the time you need,” Kal’tsit said, and stepped away a few feet. Sussurro gave Exusiai a hug, then she and I hurried over to Kal’tsit. 

Sussurro was looking pale herself, and I put an arm around her. She immediately clung to me like a limpet. After a few moments, she managed, “I…I was raised in the Lateran church. It’s….it’s common in Siracusa. Are you…are you saying it was all a lie?”

“Hardly. By most standards, the Law is a functional god and the creator of the Sankta. There are many beings that would be termed gods that are less powerful than it. Most Feranmuts and Beast Lords fall far short of it in power,” Kal’tsit said. “And, it is entirely benevolent, at least in its current form. As I said: It loves the Sankta, and views them as its children. I would even go so far as to say that the Law loves you, Lucia Sussurro, and all the faithful. Indeed, its love extends beyond those who adhere to its strictures. Like me, it has…deviated, in its purpose.” 

I wasn’t certain about that, but I had to trust Kal’tsit. “But, it’s dying, or something. I’m not entirely sure what, or why. But…I do know what kills you.”

Sussurro stiffened and looked up at me in shock. “The Director!? But she can’t-”

“I have perished many times. But I do not think this is what you speak of,” Kal’tsit said. “Elucidate.”

I felt sick, but spoke a single word. “Priestess.”

Kal’tsit closed her eyes. She turned her back on us, facing towards Rhodes Island as it roamed through the wilderness. “Continue.”

“I…I’m not sure what will happen. But, Priestess comes back. And, and I think she destroys Rhodes Island. I’m not sure if she’s found in a sarcophagus, or if she’s been alive all this time and just returns, but,she does in Rhodes Island, and kills you. Only, not quite. Monst3r survives. But, Monst3r isn’t you. The transfer didn’t work or something, because Priestess erases you, or turns you to her side, or…something. I’m sorry. Chapter 15 was only out in CN, and I didn’t really read much of the story anyway…I just saw a lot of memes and some discussions on Reddit.”

“I see.” Kal’tsit was silent for a few long moments, Sussurro and I clinging to one another. At last, she turned back. “This information will be between the four of us. No one, not even Amiya, and especially not the Doctor, is to learn of this. You will not speak a word of it. Am I clear?”

I nodded and Sussurro added, “I’ll cut his tongue out myself if he looks like he’ll talk.”

“Good. Though I hope it will not be necessary. Do you have a timeline on this, James McCoy?”

“I only know it’s after Londinium. And…and probably before the Sui awaken.”

Kal’tsit expression darkened. “That is ill news.”

“No! They’re good! They, just, uh, they’re eight or something goofy siblings! It’s just, uh, Second Brother who’s bad. The rest are good guys!”

“Hmm. Well, as disastrous as the reemergence of Sui would be, it pales in comparison to what we already face. And our time may be short. There are…steps…that must be taken.”

Kal’tsit strode over to where Texas and Exusiai were standing, looking rather lost. “Your mission has not changed. Keep James McCoy alive. There is precious little hope to be found upon Terra. He is not the greatest hope for this world, but he is a candle in the darkness. Your duty is to see that this light, however faint, however small, is not extinguished. All else pales in comparison.”

“What…what about the Law? My…my people?” Exusiai asked, her expression pained. 

“I will see to it.”

“But, but you’re going to die! How can you-”

“Lemuel Exusiai. I will see to it,” Kal’tsit repeated, but this time, there was something different about her words. I could feel them. Feel what Kal’tsit was feeling. A serene wisdom, but also steadfast determination. And about a million years of weariness. 

Exusiai gasped, her eyes growing wide. “E-Empathy?! B-but, you’re not-”

“I was there when the Law was created. I was there when it was given its task. I was there when Cephas, First of the Sankta, was given the Law. I am a being on equal footing with The Law. You may trust my word: I will see to it, and the safety of the Sankta.”

To my surprise, Exusiai and Sussurro both fell down on their faces before Kal’tsit, both of them trembling. I hastily got down on my knees beside Sussurro, feeling baffled. Texas just sort of stood there, looking uncomfortable.

“This is why I so strongly dislike revealing my true nature and abilities. Get up, all of you. I have no desire to be worshiped. It provides me no benefit and only creates a barrier. Get up.”

I helped a trembling Sussurro to her feet, while Texas gave Exusiai a hand up. “You…you’re a god?” 

“No. I am a very old, very tired woman,” Kal’tsit said, a faint smile on her lips. “One who is, at times, overly fond of the sound of her own voice. Indeed, at this time, this old woman feels the need to break her fast, and have a cup of coffee. Alas, I brought no repast with me. Thus, let us decamp.”

“That’s it? You just, you just tell us you’re the next thing to a god, and we just…go have breakfast!?” Sussurro said, some of her usual spirit coming back. 

“And you do not make mention of these facts to anyone, yes,” Kal’tsit agreed. 

“Sussurro and I are dating,” I blurted. 

Everyone turned to look at me. Sussurro squeezed my hand, and pasted on a smile. “James…”

“I am aware,” Kal’tsit said. She nodded. “Thank you for informing me, however. There will be a small matter of paperwork, but I will overrule the usual guidelines on fraternization.”

“You…you were spying on us?!” Sussurro gasped. 

Kal’tsit sighed. “One does not need 13,000 years of experience in observing relationships to tell when two young people are becoming involved. Indeed, I am fairly certain that not just the entire medical department is aware, but most of the landship. I would make some trite remark about using protection, but instead, I will merely assume that as medical professionals, you are capable of family planning.”

The one positive result of the news was that Exusiai broke out of her stupor to squeal and come over to give us both a hug. “About time! I can’t believe he didn’t realize you were taking him on a date when you showed up looking like sex on legs! Way to not fumble it, Bones!” 

“He nearly did,” Sussurro sniffed, but then laughed and hugged Exusiai back. 

We all piled back in the car, and I noticed Texas had a wistful expression on her face. “Hey, you OK?”

“No. I could use a cigarette,” she said, making a face.

“Texas!” Exusiai said, turning around from the front seat to glare. 

“I know.” Texas pulled out a box of Pocky and popped one in her mouth. “But I could use one.”

And life just…sort of went on. Sussurro and I worked our shift at the hospital, Texas and Exusiai hovered over me like, well, my guardian angels, and we just…lived.

But I couldn’t help but feel like the sword of Damocles was hanging over my head. I knew it, I was right.

I’m going to die. 

But there’s no way in hell I’m letting Death get Sussurro too.