1.18.24 Seasons Change

I can’t tell if having seasons makes time feel faster or slower. It’s definitely a definitive marker.

It’s snowy. VERY snowy. This is the first time I’ve seen real snow in a decade. We’re supposed to get 6 inches tonight. It’s already pretty snowy out there.

My car keeps getting stuck in my driveway. The other day my sister and her husband were behind me and I almost slid into them. BUT, they were there to push my car into the garage. So that was very cool.

My neighbor plowed my driveway for me… I didn’t even ask. It’s so good to have good neighbors. A different neighbor mowed and handled my leaves for me in the autumn.

I really like being on the east coast. I really like being in a small town. I really like being home.

How does the time feel, watching the seasons change? I think it might move a little slower, maybe. Or maybe the same. I don’t think it moves faster.

But I haven’t been here a year yet. Next winter, when there’s snow again, maybe I’ll think, “Wow, it’s already snowy again!”

Time generally feels like it moves at just the right pace to me. A year usually feels like a year.

My birthday is coming up. My last birthday feels like about a year ago.

It was a really, really good birthday. My birthday also marks one year sober from MaRiJuAnA.

It’s weird watching footage from the move. I have a lot of nonsense eating up memory on my external hard drive. A lot of nothing. A lot of OCD, rumination, repetition. I don’t feel that way anymore.

I don’t ruminate as much. I think it’s because I feel safe now. I feel secure and fulfilled. I feel hopeful.

I’ve forgiven everyone, I’ve forgiven myself.

This is the best season of my life.

I say it every year, every transition, and every year I mean it. Each year gets better.

This is the best season of my life. So far.