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Please Let Me Eat the Cheesecake Before You Kill Me - F4A - Urban Fantasy Comedy - The Social Anxiety Welcome Tour

Added 2025-11-16 06:05:01 +0000 UTC

Okay okay okay, just breathe. You’re a human, you’re here, and I’m still alive, which is a good start. I mean unless this is just the calm before the squish, which it might be, but no, no, you haven’t squished me yet. And you’re smiling? You’re smiling at me? Why are you smiling? Are you kind or is this a trap? Please don’t let it be a trap. I made cheesecake. That’s a peace offering. That’s not a trap. Unless you think the cheesecake is a trap and oh no, is this going badly already? This is going badly. This is fine. I’m fine. Please like me.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 Speaker Teaser

I practised this like twelve times but now you’re here and my brain is melting and everything’s just cheesecake and terror.

🎧 Listener Teaser

You didn’t flinch. You didn’t scream. You’re either really brave or really unaware that I have fangs. Either way, I think I love you a little bit.

✧ Filed Under: This Is What You’re In For ✧

[F4A] Please Let Me Eat the Cheesecake Before You Kill Me [Fantasy][Urban Fantasy][Comedy][Socially Anxious Drider Roleplay][Human Listener][First Day at University][Moving Into a Shared Flat][Culture Shock][Monsters Don’t Usually Get Roommates][I Brought Cheesecake, Please Don’t Kill Me][You Seem Nice Which Is Frankly Alarming][I’m a Monster but Not That Kind][Do Not Underestimate My Fear of Squishing][That Was a Happy Sound, Not a Threat][I Swear I’m Friendly Despite the Fangs][Apparently “Don’t Squish Me” Isn’t Standard Etiquette][I Lived in a Cave. I’m Doing My Best][Yes I Made Cheesecake, No It’s Not Poisoned][You Think It’s Cute? That’s New][I’m Not Evil, Just Socially Maladapted][Flustered][Nervous][Hopeful][Lonely][Soft][Worried][Warm][Outcast][Insecure][Adorable][Gentle][Jumpy][Overwhelmed][Friendly][Awkward][This Is Fine. Absolutely Fine][Imagine Moving in and Meeting This][Soft Monsters Need Love Too][First Friend Ever][Please Don’t Squish Me. I Made Cheesecake. That’s Basically a Peace Treaty][I’ve Never Met a Human Before, So Naturally I Assumed You’d Murder Me. Let’s Share Dessert Instead]

⚠︎ Read Me Before You Regret It ⚠︎

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, emotional vulnerability, social panic, fear of harm, trauma references

✧ Just One Question... ✧

You are very kind and I am very nervous and that is a dangerous combination because now I want to impress you and that means I am overthinking everything. Help. Please help.

Tell me what a normal person would do now: