Criminally Yours - F4A - Romantic Comedy - I Love You, Please Don’t Let Your Mum Kill Me

I wasn’t avoiding you. I was... managing things. Hiding, maybe. Slightly. You kissed me, which, by the way, was lovely, and now your entire villainous family has shown up in my home like they’re auditioning for a very violent panto. And I panicked. I always panic. Except this time I also told you I love you, admitted I’m a superhero, proposed marriage, and now your siblings are waving teapots at my window like some kind of terrifying fan club. So yes. Things escalated. But I think I’m happy. Maybe. Unless I’ve just ruined absolutely everything.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 Speaker Teaser

I saved the world twice this week but telling you I love you is the most terrifying thing I’ve done. I’m not good at this... but I want to be, for you.

🎧 Listener Teaser

You make me brave and flustered at the same time. You kissed me once and now I can’t stop imagining a life where we save each other, every single day.

✧ Filed Under: This Is What You’re In For ✧

[F4A] Criminally Yours [Romance][Comedy][Comic Book][Slice of Life][Superhero Roleplay] Secret Identity Reveal][I Only Drink 76 Cups of Tea When I’m Fine][Villains Who Collect My Merch][I’m Not Panicking, You’re Panicking][Don’t Look at Me Like That, I’m Fragile][You Told Your Mum? Seriously?][They Have Teapots. Why Do They All Have Teapots?][I Can Stop Drinking Tea Anytime][I’m the Honey Vixen and I Want a Hug][Your Brother Has a Poster of Me][They Liked Being Caught? Is That Normal?][I Hate Admin and Also Love You][Tell Me Again You’ll Do My Paperwork][We’ve Got Matching Outfits Now, Haven’t We?][Should I Bring Biscuits to the Prison Visit?][Flustered][Overwhelmed][Anxious][Protective][Tender][Caffeinated][Nervous][Hopeful][Awkward][Supervillain In-Laws][Dating the Boss][Hero Has a Crush][Forbidden Romance][Overprotective Family][Yes, I Kissed You. Yes, I’ve Been Avoiding You. No, It’s Not Because of Your Supervillain Siblings Hiding in My Flat][I Love You. I’ve Arrested Your Parents. I’ve Proposed. And I’m Panicking. Someone Make Me Tea]

⚠︎ Read Me Before You Regret It ⚠︎

Trigger Warnings: emotional spiralling, identity reveal, superhero-villain conflict, awkward power imbalance, anxiety depiction

✧ Just One Question... ✧

What is a totally normal amount of tea for a hero to drink in one day? Some people have implied (rudely) that 76 cups in one day is too much. I disagree. But, you know, for science and perspective... what do you think is a reasonable caffeine intake for a highly emotional superhero under extreme romantic and villain-related stress?

Here’s what feels reasonable:

• ☕ 3–5 cups, let’s stay civilised

• 🍵 6–10 cups, it’s a long day

• 🔥 11–20 cups, it’s called coping

• 💥 21+ and maybe a mild heart tremor

• 🚫 Just water, actually (how dare you)