Uprooted and soon to be repotted.

Well. Here's an update on why I'm pausing for a while, even though the build is almost done.
I'm sorry if the formatting is weird, I am writing this on my phone and patreons layout is all kinds of wonky!





Hi everyone! Not the post I wanted to make (because I was getting super close to releasing the demo! The timing couldn't be worse, but also, I don't think I could physically push myself any longer without some kind of change...) but. life has lifed again and I had to make an emergency move and leave the relationship I was in. I'm with my dog, with people that care for me, but I don't have my stationary computer with me and didn't have time to backup my renpy build (let's just. Not talk about that… for a while. Me and the git repo are enemies. I have everything else, just not the specific build I had been working on for the past months. I have other ones, and all my writing. Not my art since I left my ipad, but not all is lost.) Either way; this was the final step in getting myself out of a situation that was. Um. bad. I'm trying to keep it light because I'm so god damn tired of crying, but right now I'm just trying to keep it together. 👍 Sorry for not being eloquent.

I'm finally pausing Patreon, which I've wanted to do for many months, but wasn't allowed. It sounds insane, I know, and it really was. I've spent so long justifying shit like that, and I'm waking up to it. I feel like my shoulders can finally unhook from my ears. Like I can breathe. My body is mine! My goals, my dreams, all mine again! I don't know how long it will be until I get a new apartment but I am working on it, as well as getting back into work for a while just to get my funds up as I couldn't take a lot with me. There is a lot of untangling to do after this long of a relationship, and a minefield of feelings to traverse on the road to understand what just happened. I'm normally someone who stays in unfavorable conditions rather than go for a change but I am really happy I am finally in a place to do this drastic change.


Trust me when I say that while this sounds awful, it was a long time coming, and I am so happy I was finally convinced to do it by friends that got a glimpse of how it really was. I have been blind and scared and insecure, and I can't wait to work on that. It's really embarrassing to talk about this because it feels like a flaw in my character, but just. If you've ever been in a similar situation, you know how insidious it can be. I feel like this whole ‘ouro era’ has been a catalyst of change for me. And now, just like the pathfinder, I am learning to look for hope again. For life. 

I am sorry I don't have anything pretty or motivating to say, and I am so fucking sorry that once again, I have made a knot in the timeline. And I want to thank you, as always, for believing in me. You have no idea how much of an impact that has had on my well-being, and courage. 



 (I am not going anywhere. Ouro 1’s full build is like 65% done. I just have to get my life straight, and then I can put all the pieces together again. I am pausing Patreon month by month, and if I have any updates on how my journey is going, you will be the first to know (well. I do love to write in the tags on my personal Tumblr, but it usually ends up here too.) 


Until we talk again. x

(Of course, if you have any questions or anything regarding your membership don't hesitate to contact me and I'll try to get to you as soon as possible!)