Industrious - Chapter 33
Added 2023-04-16 01:52:32 +0000 UTCMan, fuck this week. Just... fuck it.
I won't bore you with the details, I'm just glad its over.
On the brighter side, I got the chapter done! Woo! I'll think about what I want to work on next. Maybe New Ron? Have to see after I spend tomorrow recovering.
Comments
That conversation was so on point. Poor early Sakura really was that naive. And now Kota is going to be dragged along so he does not turn into meat paste after a couple of missions. It would be amusing if it wasn't so damn true. Sakurai without team 7 plot armor would never survive outside the Village. And having confirmation that Neji is a missing nin is quite amusing. Lots of butterflies all around. Finally Enma is a thing ? But how the hell did the fourth die then ? I would not expect Naruko of all people to have an younger brother.
Guilherme Bezerra
2023-04-16 12:28:15 +0000 UTC"Him". It should be "him."
Draconic Hermit
2023-04-16 05:35:58 +0000 UTCI leaned back and nodded to her, waving a hand. “Good luck.” That was a good scene in Dark Knight Rises. Though this should should be “he”
Marc Beans
2023-04-16 03:11:00 +0000 UTCI’m sorry about your week, I hope things get better.
Marc Beans
2023-04-16 03:09:43 +0000 UTCSakurai opened her mouth to reply again, but caught herself as her mind began truly considering what I was saying.
EVA-Saiyajin
2023-04-16 03:09:32 +0000 UTCSit down,” I ordered her. Should be “him”
EVA-Saiyajin
2023-04-16 03:07:42 +0000 UTCI think he should tell itachi about the secrets he knows about Danzo because a good deal would have likely died with him and that shit will come back to bite the village later on. Also it’s mentioned by others but you keep mixing up He/She with sakurai.
Zerak
2023-04-16 02:59:01 +0000 UTCThank you for bringing it up, I was writing while tired and slipped up here and there. Think I got them all, but if you see more, mark them in the doc and I'll fix them.
Slayer Anderson
2023-04-16 02:21:04 +0000 UTCThank you for bringing it up, I was writing while tired and slipped up here and there. Think I got them all, but if you see more, mark them in the doc and I'll fix them.
Slayer Anderson
2023-04-16 02:20:48 +0000 UTCI noticed definitely at least two errors (might be more) where you write she/her instead of he/him when talking about Sakurai.
David Hedges
2023-04-16 02:13:46 +0000 UTCI'm a bit confused here. Sometimes I feel like the pronouns when Kota is talking to Sakurai are wonky. Is it because they're non binary, did you write the chapter with the gender flipped or am I just drunk and seeing things?
Whale A
2023-04-16 02:11:09 +0000 UTCAh, Kota... you've found another Kohai! And this one might actually be able yo jeep up when you ramble about 'Bullshit grade' Chakra Manipulation and control. This is going to explode beautifully.
Chancelor Delamare
2023-04-16 02:05:41 +0000 UTC
