Living Armor Boyfriend: Morrow 2 (special preview)

I can remember the first time I ever saw my mom, it was in a painting. It was during one of the festivals and there was a museum that had a special showing of artwork about the Saint Nicolas family. I knew at that point, or at least had some idea that I was a member of the Saint Nicolas line. I had always been told by strangers I looked a lot like Holly Saint Nicolas, but until I saw the painting, I was never aware of it. I was still little, sucking on my thumb, and chewing on things that looked fun to chew on. I can remember that Winifred was holding my hand and when we looked at that huge painting, her hand tightened around mine. Editih hadn’t come to live with us yet, but I don’t think she would have gone with us that day anyways.

The more I grew, the more I saw myself as that painting. The long red hair, curly but flowing, the big brown eyes, the long thick lashes, the full lips. I was my mother when I looked in the mirror, and it sometimes gave me a strange, indescribable feeling. Sometimes I was looking at a stranger, and my mind would wander free with that thought. I had so many ideas of who my mother was or could be, that even when Edith showed up with her vendetta, I still didn’t know what to think about her.

I knew I wanted to meet her, ever since I saw that painting hanging in the museum. That’s why I switched the spells. I didn’t want to fight someone I didn’t know, especially someone I really did want to know. Finally, after all these years, I get to meet my mother. She’s much shorter than I expected her to be. I always imagined her much taller.

“Hello, Lydia,” she says very unsurely. I suppose that’s to be expected, after all, she hasn’t seen me since I was a toddler. I was just barely walking when she knew me last.

I’m scared all of a sudden. All this time wanting to meet her, and now I’m frightened. Too many ideas, too many thoughts, they swarm and devour my mind so all that’s left is this sinking feeling. What if I disappoint her? What if she disappoints me? Everything is wrong! I’m wrong. I’m not as great as Edith or Winifred. She’s staring at me, waiting for a response and I don’t know what to do. I’m sinking farther into fear and uncertainty. What do I do? What do I do?

“Lydia, it’s okay.” Edith is right beside me.

“I see,” Holly murmurs. “Can she still not talk?”

Edith takes one hand while Morrow takes the other. “Sometimes too much,” she laughs softly. “She thinks differently sometimes. Just give her a second.”

Holly steps closer and I meet her gaze. We have the same eyes, just like we do in the mirror. I swallow hard, trying to get my thoughts to line up so I can speak to her.

“Before Winifred and Edith were born, I always thought I was scatterbrained or flaky,” she says gently. “Then after you were born, I realized that the clockwork of my head isn’t the same as everyone else’s. I gave up on you back then because everything inside me was scattered and I couldn’t put it back together. I’m sorry I did, see how similar the two of us are.”

“How do you get over it?” I ask quietly. “The too much in your head?”

Holly sighs. “I usually have sex,” she grumbles. “But I’ve been told that isn’t the best coping mechanism.”

I sniffle and stiffen my shoulders. “Do you ever just go somewhere quiet and stare out the window?”

Holly nods. “I do. Especially when it’s snowing.”

My smile brightens. “Me too!”

Holly smiles at me and I walk into her hug. After that, Winifred, Edith, and I decide to stay at her Keep for a while. For me, it’s a chance to get to know my mother. It’s almost like getting to show a side of myself I never knew before. We have common interests, but mostly, it’s like our heads are built the same. I’ve enjoyed getting to know someone who thinks the same way I do.

“After you were born, I sort of fell away from the world. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to sequester myself away.” She looks guilty as she says this. “It was overwhelming.”

“What was?” I ask.