XaiJu
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Hands-Free C*mming (Not Allowed to Stroke) [No Talking] [Only Moaning]

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Summary: I bought a new toy. Let's see how long it takes for me to cum while using it without stroking myself.

Tags: [M4A] ["Ramblefap"] [Masturbation] [Using a Toy] [Vibrating Cock Ring] [Moaning] [Masturbator] [No Talking] [Impromptu] [Real Orgasm] [Whimpering] [Wanting to Cum]

(art by ridinrapids)

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En's Weekly Thoughts:

So I'm like the type of guy -- and I'm almost positive once again that I've talked about this before because I'm always in my head about how I'm "performing" -- that gets super excited about all the things I could be working on that I only end up feeling paralyzed and I end up not doing much, or feeling like I'm not doing much. You ever get that?

I'm not trying to sound completely self-pitying, because I am doing stuff. It's just never to a degree where I feel like I'm getting enough done, ya' know? I don't think this feeling ever goes away, no matter how well I think I might be "performing." And I promise you I'm doing fine overall. I'm not depressed or sad or spending so much time in self-doubt that I'm completely motionless. I am completely fine. It's just been especially sharp of a feeling that's been coming and going this past week, I guess, because I feel so stymied by the fact that it's already March and I feel like I still have nothing to show for all the big projects I've been working on. There's just not enough time in the day.

There's this general idea that people impose on me that I'm spreading myself too thin with everything that I'm juggling. I actually disagree on the basis that I'm actually at a comfortable level now where I'm not feeling burned out or overly-tired. But I do agree in the aspect that I feel like there's just so many things I want to be doing that it's better to shelve certain things and focus on one thing at a time. I think I'm just impatient. Especially considering my age (and this isn't a self-deprecating jab at myself for being old or anything), but I'm also at a point now where I feel so sure of myself and how I want to express myself creatively that it gives me this extra boost to want to do stuff. Only to feel like I don't have enough hours in the day past my day job.

I ranted about this in my Discord but these feelings are probably amplified by me recently looking up an old writer friend of mine. He and I had a really bad falling out after he just randomly got upset with me over something that I thought was genuinely silly, and I haven't spoken to him since. To be honest, I had always felt sort of bad for the guy because he's someone who's always wanted to do this one big thing in his life, but he's never been able to find his voice, and so he just ends up talking about the things he wants to do more than actually doing anything if that makes sense.

This is getting kind of overly-long and rambly so I'll save the rest for another time if I feel like it. Overall I'm well, just very very busy. I hope you're all having fun and taking care of yourselves. Happy jorkin'. (Also if you're in any way interested, I started doing a monthly book club in my Discord server as well. For the months of March and April, we're reading 'A Little Life,' and we're devoting two months to it because it's a long-ass book. Check the #book-club channel for more info. I provide copies.)

As always, catch me on Twitch being goofy and annoying 'cause that's where most of my attention (outside of my 9-5 job) goes.
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Special Thanks

Overlords: Elvellia | Riosjude

Supremes: Adriel Reinsley | Faith is Tired | Josh Bautista | nova !! | Sleepy Seaweed | Vade Vafurous

Comments

Do you practice praising yourself for what you get done even if to you it seems like not much and there’s nothing to show for it? It’s what I’m doing to help me feel better about what I do and it’s helping me to want to continue doing it on a regular basis rather than getting frustrated with it and entering that paralyzed state. I still struggle with the paralyzed state but it’s ok. You are performing well, Enrico. You do a lot, and we look forward to whatever projects you’re working on and we will enjoy it when it’s ready whenever that is and the timing will work out. Thank you for all you do, be gentler with yourself.

Brandon

I think you're thinking a lot about what you *want* to do and what you *could be doing*, but not enough about what you've already achieved so far. From the point of view of an outsider who's somewhat keeping track of your projects (the ones that i know of, at least), I think you've been doing a lot, achieved a lot already so far. Maybe it's not yet things you can show off, you can share with everyone, but that doesn't mean it's nothing. It's great that you're doing fine and that you found a pace that suits you, still I believe you could be a bit kinder to yourself. There is no rush, no time limit on all the things that you want to do.

Pon_


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