A FEW THOUGHTS ON LOCKDOWN

The Hollywood Reporter is running a series at the moment, interviewing writers, directors, actors and producers about how the current global situation has impacted them; not just in terms of their work, but just how their day-to-day life looks right now.

The brilliant Armando Ianucci was interviewed for it, and he talks about how uncertain this time is, and how he isn't sure the best way to pitch the tone of series 2 of Avenue 5 (if you've not seen it - do; it's great). Series one was about people in isolation. When we're out of this - whenever that might be - is that something people will want to watch?

I think... probably, because it's set in space, in the future, and that removes it just enough from the here-and-now.

It's something I'm struggling with, to be honest. At the back of my brain, there's this tiny, easily ignorable, voice telling me I should be using this time to work up new ideas to pitch to broadcasters. That was one of my goals for this year, as it has been a very long time since I've done that (chiefly because I hate doing it). But nothing is normal right now, and we don't know what 'normal' will end up looking life. Do we write shows about how life was? How it is now? How we think it's going to be?

Plus, I'm struggling to work on the projects I already have on. 4 O'Clock Club was already done - though filming has been suspended indefinitely - but I'd also been underway with the next series of Almost Never, and another show I was developing with a production company. 

With no deadlines - something that's usually a given in my job - I'm finding it hard to get motivated. We don't know when we might film... so I'm not feeling any sense of urgency. It's very different to how I usually work - good in some ways - but it's hard to escape a feeling that I'm drifting through the days, and there's no point to what I'm doing. Oddly, I'm kind of okay with that. I don't have much ambition. I'm happy to just find ways to be happy. I'm alright with pointless activities!

That said, the sort of stuff I'm writing - the kind of frothy, kids TV scripts - just doesn't seem important against the backdrop of what's going on in the world. More than that; I don't know if it's right. 

For example, in an episode I'm currently working on, a character is trapped in her house. That was all fine a few months ago. Now that we're all stuck indoors it suddenly brings with it unwanted connotations.

So, I dunno. I mean, beyond all that... I'm used to being at home. That's not much of an adjustment. The house is a bit busier than it was, but I'm adapting. I'm not massively sociable at the best of times, so while I'm missing my kids, while I'm sad my daughter's wedding can't go ahead this month, the social aspect of life hasn't changed hugely for me.

I'm liking that I don't have to go anywhere for meetings - which would always disrupt an entire day when I could be working - and I do like that I'm not working myself to the bone this year, as I have in recent years. But at the same time... the uncertainty, what's going on out in the world... we just don't know what's going to happen, where and when this will end. We're all just hoping, and hanging on. 

I've kind of reduced my news intake, and cut back on Twitter. Not even consciously - I'm just not feeling the urge for it. I'm kind of looking for comfort food in terms of what I'm watching or listening to. I love that lockdown has resulted in all sorts of weird projects that we otherwise wouldn't have got.

Marillion's lead singer, Steve Hogarth, has started a podcast. Their ex-lead singer, Fish, does a weekly two-hour live stream that has become part of my Friday evening routine. There has been loads of new Doctor Who content. A new ep of Parks & Recreation. Even that fight video between a bunch of Hollywood women was great, and much appreciated; more so than the achingly sincere and self-serving singalongs we got in the early days of this. I don't want to be reminded of it all, and told how much you care; I want to get away from it.

At the minute, as I've said elsewhere, in terms of what I put out... I just want to be making my weird little videos, or watch telly, or surf the internet, or eat - so that's what I'm doing to get through this. And that's okay. 

The brain isn't designed to adapt to this much change this rapidly. We're all in a period of adjustment, a kind of collective holding of breath that we might have to release very soon, 'cause this is just how it's going to be. 

In the meantime, we all have to cling to whatever life preservers we can, and I'm hanging onto the ones that bring me joy. Holding onto the things I love most, and avoiding as much negativity on the news and social media as I can. And that's okay. We don't all need to be working on our novel, or working out, or doing something worthy. It's enough right now to just do whatever you need to make it through. 

Paul