Nellie and the Nanites - Bk2 - Ch.27

Chapter 27

Make Do and Mend, Part Two

Nellie beamed as everyone cheered the completion of the control tower. It was only a few stories tall, but it transformed the yard into a genuinely professional-looking outfit. The top was crowned with the comm relay that Duke had given them while a large observation deck sprouted from the side, offering a great view over the walls. Or at least it would have if there was something other than cold darkness to see out there.

The bottom level was the widest, with Salem's requested office right next to the entrance. Nellie’s favorite place was her quarters, which she would be ostensibly sharing with Lucy. Ostensibly, because Lucy did not, in fact, sleep. It was nice to see her spare outfits hanging in the wardrobe, though. She even had her own shelf for her weapons and things. Nellie had never exactly lived with someone before, and in truth, she did find it a little strange. A shared space rather than her own private retreat. It would have been stranger, she supposed if it wasn’t for the fact that Lucy had been literally living in her head since they first met.

Walking up her private staircase from their room to the observation deck, Nellie had to admit they had come a long way. So many changes in what felt like years and seconds at the same time. It was why she needed to take the next step.

I mean, she wasn’t even doing it behind Lucy’s back.

Lucy had said she could.

She waved from the deck, getting a few shouts and waves back, enjoying the moment before the next step. If she tried really hard, Nellie could pretend she wasn’t nervous at all.

Really hard.

“Ready?” Paren asked. “Nu-B is ready to go whenever you are.”

It was all about changes. Big ones and small ones. It was also about trust and how hard it could be to really give that to another person, especially when it was someone who lived in your head.

Nellie would be the first to admit that she had not grown up in a very progressive way. Still, the nuns hadn’t been against same-sex relationships, at least not openly. It was just something that was never discussed. Nellie herself had never been attracted to a woman before, so until recently, she had never really considered anything other than thinking of herself as straight. It was natural for her to be surprised by her own feelings, right?

She supposed that if she had experienced these feelings back on Earth, she might have simply put it down to discovering a new part of herself, but she wasn’t. There was no getting away from the nagging doubts.

She had asked Paren to get Nu-B to examine everything for signs of tampering with her emotions or brain chemistry, even if she felt like a shit for doing so. There was just no way for her to move forward with Lucy while she still had those doubts in the back of her mind. The crazy thing was she didn’t even want to do this. She wanted to just trust Lucy the way she felt she should. No one had ever been as kind or considerate of her as Lucy. If there was any sign of tampering, it would crush Nellie.

The very idea was terrifying.

“Let’s do it,” Nellie said grimly, following Paren back down the stairs and into the teen's quarters. She instantly regretted the choice of room. It was a tip.

“On the bed,” Paren pointed to the twisted mess of covers, complete with half-eaten food.

“Do I have to?” Nellie asked. “Is it safe?”

Paren flipped her off and simply pointed Nellie over to the bed. Nellie grimaced as she lay down but tried to focus on her breathing to calm her.

“Now the next part is going to feel weird,” Paren warned. “While Nu-B connects to you, Lucy will be temporarily cut off from you. It will feel kind of like having an arm cut off for a few minutes.”

“Lovely,” Nellie grimaced again, “Is it even possible to cut Lucy off like that?”

“It is with her agreement,” Paren nodded. “And before you ask, Nu-B will be able to tell if she doesn’t completely disconnect.”

Nellie nodded and closed her eyes.

Having an arm cut off was a completely insufficient way of describing the experience. It was more like someone had cut half her brain away. Several areas of her went numb, and her mechanical arm, hands, and leg lost all feeling while she herself felt like she was drifting in a void. It was, hands down, the worst feeling of her life. Nothing even came close to approaching this level of horror.

She concentrated on a single thought, repeating it over and over as she fought off panic. Lucy would never hurt her. Lucy would never hurt her. Lucy would never hurt her. Lucy would never hurt her….

What felt like an eternity later, she was interrupted by Paren slapping her face and shouting.

“Nellie!” She called. “Nellie, can you hear me? Nu-B says you can, so wake up!”

“Wha’ wrong?” Nellie asked, fighting through the fog in her head.

“I thought you would want to know before we reconnect Lucy to you,” Paren said seriously.

Nellie blinked as she braced herself, then nodded.

“NO TAMPERING!” Paren cheered. “Turns out you’re just seriously Lucy-sexual!”

Relief flooded through her as she processed Paren’s words. Nellie would have smiled then, but her face was as numb as the rest of her. She did feel a tear leak out from her one human eye, which was embarrassing.

“Aw, sweet,” Paren noticed the tear. “Okay, Nu-B, dump her!”

Nellie gasped as sensation rushed back, her mind seeming to speed up as her thinking cleared, her reflexes improved, and everything just got a thousand times better. Was that really what it had been like without the nanites? How much had they really improved her?

“All good?” Paren asked. “I want to go and see what Tiny is up to.” Paren had been in awe of the giant Lifter since it had first arrived. She definitely had a thing for giant machines. Nellie was just glad that Paren hadn’t tried to take it apart yet. Only its status as a synthetic and, therefore, living creature in her eyes was keeping it whole, Nellie was sure.

Nellie practically danced through the corridors and up the stairs of the control tower. She was finally, completely, and utterly sure that Lucy had never once messed with her head without being asked to. Nu-B had been thorough, comparing hormone base lines and fluctuations, comparing brain chemistry, analyzing nanite layouts, everything.

Lucy had not interfered once, not in her brain or during the scan. It was amazing. It really was. She was in love because she was in love. She fancied the hell out of Lucy because of who Lucy was, not because anyone had messed with her head. The relief was huge, even if it did lead to some questions about herself. For a start, was she bi-sexual now? Was that a thing? Or had she always been and just not admitted it to herself? Grinning to herself, Nellie decided Paren’s term would do for now. Lucy-sexual.

“Ta-da!” Nellie kicked open the door to their room and posed. “One girlfriend, all worries assuaged! Reporting for sex!” She paused, seeing Lucy staring out the one large window. “Babe?”

“I get it,” Lucy said. “I mean, I understand this is all a bit change for you. Of course, you would worry. I’m not saying I don’t understand. Your concerns were entirely logical and well thought out.”

“Uh,” Nellie said awkwardly. “I’m glad.”

“The thing is,” Lucy said, turning away from the window with tears in her eyes. “I’m still pissed. I’ll get over it but for now… I need you to know I am pissed.”

“I’m sorry,” Nellie said lamely, “I just really needed to know for sure.”

“And I’m glad you know.” Lucy smiled a little sadly. “I really am.” She wiped a tear from one eye. “Still pissed.”

Not knowing what to do, Nellie just nodded and sat down on the bed. Lucy came and sat next to her, not saying a word. Nellie stroked Lucy’s hair for a bit as she cried, and then they cuddled. Just cuddled, but it was a start.

This was new territory for both of them.

===<<<>>>===

Crush-Cha woke, dressed, and started his unit’s training for the day. Nothing ever got in the way of training, no matter what. Duke had been happy enough to give Crush a little place to set up his tricks and traps. He oversaw them, asked his daily questions, and sent them off to breakfast without so much as a twitch out of place.

Once they were gone, he stripped and cleaned his weapons, reassembled them, and reported to take his patrol on the wall. It was only once he was well into his patrol, clear of any watching eyes, that he allowed himself to relax. The Captain was alive. How she was alive was a bloody good question. It wasn’t like Bartlett to miss. He sure as hell gave it his all, taking out a good portion of the planet's surface in the process. Yet, despite everything, she was alive.

The only question was, what was he going to do about it?

His duty was clear. Nanites were to be exterminated on discovery, and everything they had touched was to be vaporized immediately. The rules were so old that they were practically racial memory at this point. He had followed those rules to the letter last time and wasn’t sure how he felt about it now.

Okay, Crush admitted to himself, that was bullshit. He regretted ever reporting it. He regretted everything that had happened. So, it seemed that he would not be following his duty after all. Following the rules had been a way of life up until now, and look where it got him. Standing alone on a bit of wall in the middle of Tailsuck, Nowhere with nothing but a rifle and regrets.

So, he wasn’t going to report her. It wasn’t just a matter of her being someone he liked; it was also a distinct fondness for no one turning the planet he was standing on into slag and floating rock while he was still standing on it. The biggest question remained: what to do next? He could try and make contact with her, somehow, but how would she react? He had tried to kill her, after all. He could still hear the hurt and anger in her final transmission to him. There was also the fact that he knew about the nanites, and he knew how that had ended for Tor-Am. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done the same thing Tor-Am did, so he could reasonably expect the same reaction she had gotten…

Except Nellie was helping them. She had gone out of her way to do it, as well. It was not like she couldn’t have refused or just led them into the middle of nowhere. Sure, he admitted that was not her type of thing to do, but that was the issue, wasn’t it? He had known Nellie well enough to know she wasn’t a threat when he had reacted. She had to be pissed at him still.

Right?

No matter how many times Crush went over things in his mind, he kept coming back to the fact she had chosen to help when she could have left them to die. She couldn’t be that pissed at him, or she would have taken revenge. He would still have to be careful and, if at all possible, make sure she wasn’t armed when they met up. He went over and over it in his mind, thoughts running in circles as he tried to decide what to do. After a long patrol, he had not made much progress, other than finding that he did want to meet her. Somehow. To explain. Somehow.

He just hadn’t come up with a way to do that without getting shot in the process.

The strangest thing was he didn’t feel the dark pulling on him anymore. Vicky certainly noticed a bit more of a bounce in his step when she appeared again, late into his patrol, to subtly suggest that he might find better ways to spend his downtime than eating in the mess.

Like in her bed, for example.

It was after they had finished ‘relaxing each other’ that he brought up the Beacon.

“Did you guys always trade with the Beacon?” Crush asked as he lay with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. It was always easier to appear casual if you stared at the ceiling.

“Since everything went to hell, yeah,” Vicky said, “She wanted to help people, we wanted to help people. It was a good match, you know?” She looked thoughtful for a moment, “Kind of an amazing lady, really.”

“She certainly has an effect on people,” Crush replied carefully. “I bet no one who meets her ever acts the same way again.”

“What?” Vicky laughed, “She isn’t like that. Bea’s not some mythical hero or anything. She’s a nice lady with a shuttle.” She flicked her hair back with a grin, “All this beacon bullshit is just that. Bullshit. People need a hero, and she fits the bill.”

“I guess I heard wrong,” Crush said, feeling a little guilty about being suspicious. “Everyone acts like she is some super-brackta heroine from some story cube.”

“You should meet her yourself before judging,” Vicky said. “She’s weirdly normal. Like, we could all do what she did, but she actually did it weird, you know?”

“I had a friend like that once,” Crush grinned. “She was a hell of a lady as well.”

“Just a friend?” Vicky asked archly.

“Just a friend,” Crush laughed. “The last time we met didn’t go well. I’m hoping to find her again so I can ask her one question.”

“To marry you?” Vicky joked.

“No!” Crush laughed. “I just want to know what a gecko is.”

===<<<>>>===

“Well, this isn’t awkward at all!” Baz grinned as they opened the doors to the fabrication facility.

“Shut up, Baz,” Salem and Paren said in perfect synergy, which seemed to surprise both of them.

“Just stating the obvious,” Baz winked at the pair standing behind him. “The course of true love never did run smooth.”

“And you think this is making it better?” Salem asked, casting a wary look at Lucy and Nellie. “What is your grand advice then, oh wise one?”

“Fight to the first submission, or orgasm, whichever comes first,” Baz grinned wider.

“That is not a fitting way to speak to your boss,” Lucy said angrily. “Our relatio–”

“Sorry, I meant me and her,” He pointed to Salem, who blushed as she glared at him.

“Five credits says she shoots him this time,” Dar said to Vey.

“Ten says she shoots him twice,” Vey offered back.

“Fifty says she disassembles him with a rusty spoon,” Salem growled.

“Kinky, I’m in,” Baz winked again, then ducked as Paren threw something at him.

“Should we do something about this?” Nellie asked Lucy. “It’s sexual harassment.”

“They’re shagging,” Paren said smugly, causing everyone to pause. “So that means it isn’t right?”

“Sneaky little–” Salem started, then blushed again when she realised she had just confirmed it.

“Hah!” Paren grinned. “Teach you to nail shut my shed!”

“Okay!” Nellie clapped her hands. “Moving swiftly on, the facility is ready to go?”

“It’s all built,” Salem confirmed. “The machines themselves appeared to have been in the boxes all along. No one suspected anything.” She gave Lucy a nod.

“So, we have everything we need to start?” Nellie asked.

“Almost,” Lucy said quietly. “There is still the matter of the upgrade. We can delay for a bit if you prefer.” She looked away, “No one would ask questions or anything.”

“No,” Nellie said firmly. “It’s time.”

A half hour’s tour later, and Nellie and Lucy were back in their room. Baz was right, Nellie thought, there was an awkwardness to them at the moment. She really hoped it would pass soon.

“You really don’t have to do this yet,” Lucy said gently. “It’s a big step.”

“I know,” Nellie smiled anxiously, “And I am terrified, really. But I want to do this, Luce. I really do.”

“I just know how afraid you are of changes to your brain,” Lucy said gently. She could have said it sarcastically, given recent history, but it was clearly said out of concern, not some attempt to make a point. “We can find another way.”

“Sure we could,” Nellie admitted. “If you put your mind to it I wouldn’t need any upgrades, but that isn’t the point. The point is that this is the BEST option.For me, for us, and for the future. Right?”

“Yes,” Lucy said. “It’s better in every way.” With a heavy sigh, she went on. “But I do understand there is a problem with trust at the moment.”

“No!” Nellie said firmly. “That is done, at least for me.” She took Lucy’s hand. “I trust you, Lucy. I always have, I just needed to know rather than just trust.” She swallowed hard, “I always trusted you, I just got proof I was right.”

“You understand that trust doesn’t need proof, right?” Lucy asked with a frown.

“We have a saying on Earth. Trust, but verify. It means that we do extend trust to people, but you occasionally have to check that they are really telling the truth. I checked, you were. I won’t do it again. I promise.”

“So this upgrade?” Lucy asked. “You’re really sure?”

“No, not at all,” Nellie admitted. “I’m doing this because I trust you. Because you say it the best option, and I agree.” She gave Lucy a quick hug, then climbed onto the bed. “I asked you to prove I could trust you. You did. Now I’m showing you that it means something to me. That I trust you enough to do something I’m unsure of based on that trust.”

“Thank you?” Lucy said with a small smile. “Last chance to turn back…”

Nellie just lay back and closed her eyes.