Airlock Bound Chapter 2 is Live!
Added 2021-06-14 11:26:44 +0000 UTCRead: https://imgur.com/gallery/O8MNETI
The video where I talk about it a bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hR94U2hYg8
Comments
I'm not sure I've seen that video, I'll check it out. You make a good point about that obstacle being mostly irrelevant, but I think it's possible to get around that issue with some thought. My stance on exposition is that characters telling each other things they already know for no reason can be immersion breaking, and that readers like to feel smart when they figure something out before they're told explicitly. Those are just my thoughts though. There's probably lots of important things I haven't thought about. Thanks for the reply, I'm really happy that you responded! ๐
Desttinghim
2021-06-16 19:45:39 +0000 UTCThanks, I'm glad that the way I intended to engage seems to be coming off as I expected it to. As for the family, when I go back and do chapter 1 I'll probably keep this intact. I'll introduce them and create more mystery and hints around their motives to make them interesting and look like their characters are going somewhere or reveal something only to suddenly kill them and leave those mysteries buried with them. With only chance of understanding being locked behind what Puff knows.
Uniquenameosaurus
2021-06-16 14:34:27 +0000 UTCYeah I've been noticing a couple of exposition related comments. If you remember my "how to correctly burn a child" video, I come from the "Get your exposition out as fast as possible" school of exposition. I'm not sure yet if its necessarily better to create an obstacle largely irrelevant to plot or character just to explain something more slowly than it would have been to just say it. There's actually bunch of rules, applications and quirks I havn't mentioned yet and will do when it becomes relevant so its not that i'm not upfront explaining it either. Everything I've exposited here will be relevant next chapter. That's not to say I'm right on this, thats just where i'm at in my understanding of this criticism, might change as I hear more
Uniquenameosaurus
2021-06-16 14:30:06 +0000 UTCThis one I can look into, we've been doing a lot of shuffling of the process and our standards, wasn't quite sure if we lost the PNGs or if it didn't matter, i'll look into it.
Uniquenameosaurus
2021-06-16 14:18:30 +0000 UTCI'm sorry, I really don't have the technical know how to set up a torrent file nor the ability to learn and account for any security risks that might come with that. I have an IQ of like 86.
Uniquenameosaurus
2021-06-16 14:17:03 +0000 UTCThird vote for PNG! The pacing is much improved in this chapter and the Puff's guilt was a great character moment. I think the exposition could have been toned down or done more naturally. We don't really need a full explanation of how tether's work, we just need hints that it exists and some demonstrations of what it can do. Sanderson's laws of magic come to mind: https://faq.brandonsanderson.com/knowledge-base/what-are-sandersons-laws-of-magic/ In particular law one: an author's ability to solve conflict with magic is directly proportional to how well the reader understands the magic. The inverse of this rule is that you should only explain as much of the magic system to the reader as they need to make sense of the situation. I think a good way to give reader's more details on tether's would be to have a situation where our protagonists have a minor obstacle in the way, and have one of them use their ability to solve it, with them discussing what they're doing and why. Even that sounds like it might be too exposition-y in my mind, but I can get kind of picky about it. Keep in mind I'm not an author or editor, just a fan of good narrative, so take my suggestions with a grain of salt! Overall, I'm very excited to see where this goes! The first comic was rough, but this second one was much better. If you keep it up this will be a kickass comic in no time! EDIT: Thought of a way that Gale's powers could be demonstrated with less exposition. They could come across a river that is to deep to cross on foot. Puff asks Gale if he knows how to use his tethers. Gale responds yes, and Puff asks him to orbit them across. Gale uses his orbiting power to orbit something across the way, and then orbits Puff across as well.
Desttinghim
2021-06-16 10:12:24 +0000 UTCI like where this is going. Also I think I've changed my mind about my other comment, I don't mind that we don't know much about her family. It adds some nice mystery to the story and I think learning about them in bits and pieces as the story goes on is more interesting. Also the artist did a great job on this chapter, the part with Puff's brother is quite haunting. EDIT: also I quite like how the magic system is shaping up, so far its an intriguing concept with some clear limits but at the same time the capacity for alot of creativity depending on what each persons tethers are.
The Helpful Cat
2021-06-15 13:02:33 +0000 UTCSecond vote for PNG uploads. Also, hooray, finally chapter 2!
Trigger
2021-06-14 23:51:07 +0000 UTCAlso, for the finished versions of the pages, I suggest you upload those as PNGs instead of JPGs in the future, because JPG is lossy compression, which means that the file is compressed further to reduce storage space, but at the cost of some image quality. For people using the assets to make stuff of their own, they're going to want to use Lossless formats, which are compressed files that don't lose any of the original data. PNG files are one such format.
LiftedStarfish
2021-06-14 16:24:09 +0000 UTCM8, I think you forgot to include the Acknowledgements page in the assets collection. Edit: NVM, I'm a fool, I missed it.
LiftedStarfish
2021-06-14 16:19:29 +0000 UTCPlz make a torrent file and share a magnet link or torrent file here?
LiftedStarfish
2021-06-14 16:15:33 +0000 UTC
