sadness - details in numbercolor

I'm having a hard time coming up with a title for this song. if before its official release I don't think of anything else it will just have to be this. this is going on a split album along with my song "histrionic and granted" which I shared here a while ago.

the song is built off of a beat I made in 2017 for my band east avenue at the time, and beyond an instrumental demo nothing was ever made of the song (except for this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoVq3rerd4). I edited the video and made the music but I didn't make the video caption. the video is from june 2018 but the beat I made on december 22 2017. ever since I started looking to these old beats for inspiration for sadness songs (histrionic and granted, collar, bigbury april twilight etc) I knew I wanted to make this song too. I started building upon it this year a few months ago (as always it took so long to finish because of the vocals and also I was out of town for a while in october) and my cousin helped me sing the ending.

caught in the waves again i want it to be forever   holding so closely warm moment touches details in numbercolor   

I am 12, in that I walk on pavement and talk to myself about my feelings. And you are, in your purity. I can't say much more, but you know...  

singing crying my eyes out holding hands and saying goodbye holding together on perfect melody it sounds like every memory burning when running free on spring moments singing screaming crying choking on my voice holding together years ago tinier hands holding together brimming pink memory lake lit the sky on a spring night see it as the stars as the moonlight moment dancing around bruised youth arm

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the first stanza was written after the song to match the vocal melody I wanted to sing at the beginning and the end. the last two stanzas are things I had written on facebook a long time ago. the "I am 12" I don't know what I was meaning by that except for the fact that when I was 12 (and always in my life, but specifically when I was 12) I spent a lot of time by myself walking around outside and talking to myself. the rest of it I don't know, but it sounds interesting (and catchy to sing)

the last stanza was something I wrote when I had to say goodbye to some dear friends when I moved in 2021. it's basically feelings surrounding saying goodbye.
the production on this song is probably really bad but I'm sick of working on songs more than a few days so at this point I just want to forget about it