rose/lavender in depth

I remastered this album and it is now available for streaming everywhere. I also remastered greyness of a young despondency but for some reason it never made it to apple music, working on getting that fixed. 

rose:
"Autumn came with a lilac indigo rose

Delicate as her smile

Yet not absolved the emptiness

Her rose red spring ignites

Fragile, ever flowing waters

As spring in autumn

Open grace of memory"

I really honestly don't remember much what I'm talking about in this song. I made the instrumental in september 22 2016 and the lyrics were sometime in october. if you remember from my tortuga posts, songs like "rana" and "dream of me" were instrumentally recorded in 2016 before this, and even had working titles "rose", because I knew for a while that I wanted to make a song called rose, but those other songs were thrown away at the time. this is why "dream of me" sounds similar to "rose", because dream of me was the original idea. I don't remember when or how I decided to connect "rose" and "lavender" into an album. I think "rose" really is just a simple image of how beautiful the color pink is. (when I think of the word rose i really just think of pink, pink flowers, in spanish "rosa" is pink) I also hate the flower "rose". I hope no one ever thinks that I'm talking about rose flowers because I'm not, that's probably my least favorite flower. 

Lavender:
Birthing blooming flower

of melancholy waters

rain unto lavender

of love twilight

The spread of enamored roses

became the true rain a blooming beginning

light behind the brushed

of creation as before eyes

Light

We are light

Illuminating light

In and of twilight beauty

——

In the flowing home rose lavender

a place in which to April roam

pacing memories as blooming love

when your eyes shine the very words

and, we, hand in hand paint imbreudly

the sunset of our burning hearts"

I don't have the original garageband file for when I recorded the guitars, but it was probably late 2015. I remember this being a similar timeframe and set/setting as "left alone - and blood flowed down the street". in spring of 2016 I recorded all the rest. this song is about this lavender tonality I feel in april twilight, in deep spring twilight moments, a saturation I could only imagine but I wanted to feel in my hands. in this song I'm capturing a special moment, a special space shared, a moment of wholeness, that was never mine, but I was always so good at imagining what it would feel like to feel so beautiful, beautifully held. what little experience I had of love that I could refer to was still so potent, that even after so many years of being completely alone I could deeply imagine, and somewhat remember, true love in an april twilight.
a fun fact about this song, although all of my music is improvised and recorded on the spot, most of the time (because I'm not rehearsed and just improvising) I tend to have to punch-in during the recording, so usually the song is divided in multipe takes and not just one take off the floor. however the drums on this track, the entire 26 minutes, were recorded in one take, on the very first take. these are all improvsed too which is why you hear so many mistakes, but I was so proud of what I'd done that I decided to keep this magical take. it was in may of 2016 and i went to my friend's house to record his drums, hit record on the first take, played through the entire 26 minutes, and that's what you hear in the song. there also isn't any editing but that should be obvious because there never is ( at least back then), just eq compression and reverb. normally the long songs (even shorter songs) I end up having to pause the recording and start tracking from where I left off because I made a mistake or something