greyness of a young despondency

Greyness of a young despondency is the 5th album released for sadness, specifically because I wanted it to be the 5th one (read and longing are the endless waves backstory for more explanation). I probably could have released it sooner, but i ended up releasing it on march 6 2015, the same day as the 4th and 6th sadness albums. I don’t remember exactly when I made all the songs, but it was most likely in january, or february. MAYBE one or two I started in december but that is unlikely.the true meaning behind the album is something I’m not going to share directly, but what I will say is, the music is through the perception of a young girl, her traumas and her emotions. This album suffered from the same thing that “and longing are the endless waves” did, and that’s too muchhigh frequencies that I didn’t notice when I first recorded it. Many years later I kind of fixed that by simple taking out the high frequencies, quite liking how the muffledness sounds, but I think I could give the album a genuine remaster later, and then maybe put it on spotify. On the first version of the album, on the tape release, there’s a little bonus track with no title at all. You can hear this on the youtube upload of the “remaster”. as usual, none of the songs were "written" or planned out in any way. just pure impulsive recording, which is why you'll hear mistakes here and there.

The emptiness tortures me... over...and over... and over... and over......

Out of everything I’ve ever recorded, this is probably the most depressing song of mine. This feels genuinely miserable. It’s kind of nauseating. No lyrics, not even vocals. This song was probably recorded in october? But maybe even december, or january. I really don’t know. I rememmber sitting in my basement recording everything, even guitars , and i only ever really did that during this time when I had the desktop in the basement, which was for a little bit in october? I don’t know, and I caxn’t check right now because I’m not even home. But later I’ll look up these details.most of my really depressing songs even the most monochrome ones, always in some way have a tinge of hope, maybe even the slightest color if you look deep enough. This song has none of that

“And hurting colors” is a song many people ask me about. I will say nothing about it, just listen to it. Listening to it is all you need to hear.

Untitled iii is my favorite song on the album. I love it so much. I don’t think i’ve ever captured this perfect magic that exists in this song ever again. I love how pure it is. There aren’t even any lyrics.

when i tried getting a live band together in 2015 i rehearsed this song with a guitarist i met, and i came up with an extension of the song that would only exist in live performances. it was really cool but wr obviously never ended up doing anything together. i probably still have that video somewhere of us rehearsing it

Anything else you want to know about the album, just listen to it. Everything is in there