"Before any of us send that shitty comment, email, whatever, let's remember that we're messaging an actual person who's probably got as many problems as us. We don't fix negativity by passing it on. Feel your feelings, but know it's not always good to pass them forward."
2021-12-06 21:19:44 +0000 UTC View Post“I don’t mind at all…”
Some jobs are a pleasure
“Especially when I get to hear you whimper like that.”
...
Wholesome degeneracy commissioned by a wholesome degenerate :)
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P.S. Patreon is being buggy. I'm sorry :)
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Script & Audio by TeacupAudio
2021-12-06 17:17:13 +0000 UTC View Post“You like somebody?!”
Sometimes, the person we're not meant for
Can be the person who wishes us the best.
“NO! THAT IS SO NICE!”
...
Wholesome commission for a wholesome commissioner :)
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Script & Audio by TeacupAudio
2021-12-06 17:16:22 +0000 UTC View Post“Wipe that smile off your face before I drop kick you.”
Sex is nice
But when you find a homie that provides ass aftercare - that's love.
“As soon as my ass is restored, I will kill you… creatively… and with style.”
...
If there is such a thing as chaotically wholesome, I believe this is it :)
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Script & Audio by TeacupAudio 2021-12-06 17:15:02 +0000 UTC View Post
"Sexuality is often presented in media as very cartoonish and over-the-top. Sexuality is different for everyone. Just because you see a naked man or woman doesn't mean you'll instantly become possessed by lust. Your relationship with sex is what's right for you."
Media heightens most everything for the purpose of entertainment: shoot outs don't look that cinematic in real life, fights don't go that smoothly, and lust doesn't instantly overcome us at the Meer sight of our preferred genit...
2021-12-05 16:47:22 +0000 UTC View Post
"Interviewer: So, what have you learned since becoming a VA?
Me: Men love big women who can kick their asses and hold them like they're tiny babies."
Also MANY men who identify as heterosexual have a thing for penises. Kinda furthering my subscription to the idea that sexuality is fluid and we all fall somewhere on a spectrum.
2021-12-05 16:21:28 +0000 UTC View Post
"Itty bitty titties are fucking glorious and adorable. Fat cow-girl titties are magnificent and scrumptious. Huge & tiny man titties are wondrous and wholesome. Ladies, gentlemen, all titties are a blessing. Go forth and make yourself and whoever you share your body with happy!"
2021-12-04 17:29:45 +0000 UTC View PostHey Teacups -
This was originally a response to someone who wrote into our Agony Aunt-Tea post, and I thought it might be helpful to share it with you guys. I've adapted it slightly to be more inclusive.
If you're struggling with your mental health, you might be feeling a multitude of things, including but not limited to: "I'm so pathetic", "I can't get out of this shitty cycle", "I have no idea who I am", "I am so lost an...
2021-12-04 14:36:46 +0000 UTC View Post
How to handle unsolicited dick pics/sexual messages:
"Can you hang on, babe, I just need to squeeze out a GIANT SHIT FIRST. Like worryingly large. Oh god, it's painful. Yeah, I'm gonna need a book & a candle. Be right back."
Hilariously, they then think you're the weirdo. It's a win-win!
P.S. Family crisis all sorted. Thank you and I'll be replying to commissions very soon :)
2021-12-03 18:11:35 +0000 UTC View PostHey Teacups -
I apologise for not replying to any commission messages as of yet. Small crisis with the family happened last night that still needs attention today. I will respond as soon as I can.
Thank you for your patience.
Best wishes,
Tea
2021-12-03 11:43:22 +0000 UTC View Post✨Vote today. Audios out next week!✨
Best wishes,
Tea
Welcome to Agony Aunt-Tea, Teacups.
This is a place where we can talk about you.
Please feel free to share a trouble, a worry, or something you'd like advice on. And I will do my very best to give degenerately wholesome advice.
DISCLAIMER:
Please be aware that all responses are just my personal opinions. I cannot offer any professional or psychological advice. I have no formal training in either medicine or psychology. All my responses...
2021-12-02 20:53:13 +0000 UTC View Post“Mom pulled me into the kitchen and said 'oh my god, he's adorable'.”
They love you
I love you
You have to stay forever.
“How do you keep on getting cuter? This has to be against the law!”
...
This one was a personal pleasure :)
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Script & Audio by TeacupAudio
2021-12-02 17:16:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Patreon ► https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3472768
Twitter ► https://twitter.com/AudioTeacup
…
Be a mother lover and love your Momma.
"I’ve always felt kind of matronly. I mean there’s no real hiding these cow udders."
…
✨MILF SE...
2021-12-01 19:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
"You can literally be having the most casual, non-sexual conversation, say something like "yeah, haven't shaved my legs in like..." and from nowhere some asshole will be like "I DON'T FIND BODY HAIR SEXY." Well, buddy, I've got some fantastic news: NOBODY'S TRYING TO SEDUCE YOU."
Have your preferences, jack-off to the minions, I don't care, just know that nobody gives a shit what makes your pp hard. Nobody. Especially people who weren't trying to solicit sexual attention from you. ...
2021-12-01 18:06:15 +0000 UTC View Post► Please, enter our monthly competition here, submit your concept (either in the comments or via DM's), and be in with a chance of being Tea's Choice! ►
✨We've had two winner's so far, let's find our final one :)✨
Guidelines for the submitted concepts:
- Please expect the concept to be between 10 - 20 minutes (though it could be longer).
- Can be SFW or NSFW
- Only concepts are to be submitted, not full scripts.
... 2021-12-01 12:31:00 +0000 UTC View Post
"I joke a lot, but I'm at a point where I really feel proud of my job. It's taken me a long time to get here, but I truly feel it is so much more than just voicing p*rn. It's about making people feel less afraid and more open to their own versions of sex, intimacy and love."
Thank you for giving me such a weird and strangely fulfilling job.
2021-11-30 21:48:39 +0000 UTC View Post"I'm so glad you're my husband."
What more is there to say or do.
Oh... wait.
"Where are my manners, I need to be naked too!"
...
Final Winner of November's Tea's Choice :)
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DISCLAIMER:
Full disclosure, I was actually really anxious about doing this one as the whole concept of virginity is a personal trigger for me. Because of things that ...
2021-11-30 19:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
"You know how your laptop slows and crashes when its running low on battery, we're literally that simple too. Make time to rest, even if it's only a little while. You can't do your job, live your life, or be you without enough energy."
2021-11-29 20:47:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Patreon ► https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3472768
Twitter ► https://twitter.com/AudioTeacup
…
“The motherland has provided and we would like you to share in our bounty.”
You wouldn't wanna offend our kind offer, now...
Would you?
“I feel like ...
2021-11-29 19:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post“Don't you baby me, you just assaulted me!”
You're dating a Tsundere type
Tickling can be critical.
In more ways than one.
“Yes, it was, it was an assault on my ribs and my cardiovascular system, and you are a pig!.”
...
DISCLAIMER:
✨If you don't find the Tsundere/slightly bratty character to your taste, probably best just to skip this one. No harm, no foul.✨&n...
2021-11-29 17:10:04 +0000 UTC View Post
"I've created an audio so WHOLESOME you might not even realise it's p*rn. This, Teacups, may just be my proudest moment as a wholesome degenerate. See you and the wholesome p*rnography tomorrow."
2021-11-29 14:30:07 +0000 UTC View Post
"Men who lie about sleeping with women they definitely did not sleep with ):
Men who are honest and chill about not sleeping with anyone yet because it's not a big deal :)"
The pressure to lose your virginity is such bullshit and it especially effects men's mental health. So, let's change the fucking narrative.
I once had a guy I used to work with tell co-workers (after I left the work place, I might add) that I slept with him, and it really just puzzled me. The friend...
2021-11-28 20:23:12 +0000 UTC View Post
"When you're low, people will (with every good intention) tell you to be grateful for what you have. But it's okay to not always be grateful. Sometimes, you need to feel shitty and sad. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means you're feeling shitty. You'll be okay."
Yes, we should absolutely be grateful for what we have, but we're not monsters for feeling shitty, either. Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has problems and everyone knows what it feels like t...
2021-11-27 20:30:50 +0000 UTC View Post
Another beautiful exit survey:
"Dear Tea, sadly I have to cancel my membership but due to recent changes in my financial situation I cant afford to continue my support at this point in time. I just wanted to say thank you for everything. I appreciate all your work and creativity you pour into your audios, you have helped me through some really rough times and for that Im thankfull. I just wanted to make sure you know it has nothing to do with you or the quality of your work, I simply ha...
2021-11-27 20:01:25 +0000 UTC View Post
"Don't be concerned about the people who don't want kids. Be concerned about people who have kids and treat them like shit. Stop worrying about children who don't exist. The ones who are alive and in pain actually need our help."
I cannot express how baffling I find this. People really be out here saying "but why don't you want kids?". Like, don't worry about it. My child doesn't exist. I am never going to hurt or disappoint them or put them in situatio...
2021-11-26 19:25:47 +0000 UTC View Post✨Vote today. Audios out next week!✨
Best wishes,
Tea
2021-11-26 17:43:48 +0000 UTC View Post
"Content creators want you to put your personal finances before supporting them, always. Entertainment is great, but food, water and shelter are musts. Always put yourself first before supporting a creator."
So many wonderful people message me saying something to the effect of "I'm so sorry I have to cancel my pledge" and whilst it makes me feel incredibly blessed, I feel it's important to remember that you don't owe me or any other content creator anything.&nbs...
2021-11-26 17:25:09 +0000 UTC View Post“Well, since you’re so fond of me being big and strong…”
Do you even top, bro?
Yes. Yes, I do.
“Why don’t I top this time?”
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My humble offering to the futa enthusiasts :)
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Script & Audio by TeacupAudio
2021-11-25 19:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post“You look like something I wanna put in my mouth.”
Dress up
So I can make a mess of you.
“In fact, I’m gonna need that to happen right about now.”
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First Winner of November's Tea's Choice :)
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Script & Audio by TeacupAudio
2021-11-25 19:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post