shaq

Metamucil Early Access

This is a joke video that became a real video. Join me in the Metaverse.

Date Night - Audio Edition

Here's an experimental piece of audio where instead of producing a video recipe and talking while eating it on camera, Bree and I eat bao and talk for half an hour about:

• Water-Frying
• Pickle Voices
• Wacky YouTube Comments
• Glove Porosity

Croquembouche Notes

• This is a video I wanted to put out since last year, and I wanted to crank it out as quickly as I could in case y'all have any pot lucks coming up. I've now given this dessert to at least 3 Christmas parties last week— it truly comes together in like 15 minutes!
• There's a 90% chance that in my rush I left a typo or something in the vid so don't be shocked if I end up replacing it before it goes live on Festivus morning
• If you keep corn syrup in your pantry, I do thin...
  2022-12-19 23:58:28 +0000 UTC View Post

A Highly Unconventional Guided Meditation

This is a probably not the kind of bonus patreon vid you ever expected, but it's one I've wanted to try for a long time. I think apps like Headspace are really good at getting a complete noob into mindfulness, but they charge money for it, and I think that stinks. Please give meditation at least ONE real try, even if it means listening to this this audio that's wildly unconventional for med-heads but extremely on-brand for shaqolytes. If you end up wanting to continue, download an app called ...

Bourbon Steak Notes

• This is the second-ever recipe integration (the first was for Lee Kum Kee), and it was ten times easier because it was for a recipe that I already regularly make.
• You really wouldn't want to use any super-expensive bourbon for this application, but I still expect the bourbon snobs to turn their noses up at mister Beam!
• This also works with other types of whiskey like Jack Daniels, but you wouldn't want to use the flavored and sweetened versions like spicy cinnamon or t...
  2022-12-13 15:54:12 +0000 UTC View Post

Back Home & Reporting On Travels

Topics Covered:

• Airbnb sucks
• "Silly Grifters" are having a moment
• Should influencers be held accountable for what they advertise?

Also tomorrow is my birthday, but the part I hate most about birthdays is responding to a hundred happy birthday messages so tell me HBD right this moment or forever hold your peace.

The Bi-Annual Netshaq Catchup

I made two videos to release back-to-back, so this is the first-ever double-early-access Patreon post! Here is a link to the worm video that will come out right after this one: https://youtu.be/KrobEUdHzk0 

Music to Cook To

This took a couple days to playlist, a couple hours to prep, two hours to shoot, and a lifetime to upload. My heart goes out to anyone who produces long-form content in 4K. This was brutal!!! Please enjoy :)

Cooking for a Non-Cooker

• The number one hardest part about teaching is avoiding assumptions about what your learner already knows. This was the hardest part of my desk job, and it's the inspiration behind this vid.
• This is the shrimp dish I cooked on cam, and it's fantastic: https://www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/13320-pan-seared-shrimp-with-peanuts-...
  2022-10-27 17:51:35 +0000 UTC View Post

What to Drink When You're Not Drinking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuXuqi2wDy0

This is a short I wrote after spending one month trying a dozen different bitters and a half dozen different hop waters. I really wanted to love the Napa Valley bitters made by a small business, but if you're gonna drop like $13 on a tiny bottle of liquid I say go with the big names first like Bittermen's.

Pretty Smoothies - Early Access & Notes

• If you're gonna make just one of these recipes, let it be the Blue Cloud one. The Turmeric and Beet smoothie is delicious to me but I could see a lot of people being turned off by the earthiness.
• I don't understand the appeal of bee pollen. What's the deal with that stuff? It just tastes like 10% honey 90% sawdust.
• I don't think the world will ever settle on what to call coconut-based liquids.

Is Stock Trading Just Gambling?

I'm going to Las Vegas tomorrow to employ my favorite "Three Point Molly" craps strategy. But you can't really strategize in a game about rolling dice, right? 

E-Rose, iThorn, & Cyberbud Part 2

The first time I posted an E-rose iThorn it was in bonus video format, but I think it should live on in text format from now on so $3 patrons can read them. Here's what's in this week's edition:

• Rose: A Youtuber changing what it means to "vlog" or "react"
• Thorn: A Netflix standup special poisoned by content-brain
• Bud: A new series that could revitalize Bon Appétit 

(A quick recap of the format for those who didn't see the first one— R...

Carajillo Shakerato Early Access + Notes

• I get to sit on this one for a full week while I look for reasons to edit it before it goes live.
• This might be my most context-heavy video ever(?) The actual recipe is just "Take a shot of liquid A and shake it with a shot of liquid B", but most of this video is actually about explaining the stories behind each constituent part of the drink's name.
• I don't think I'll ever make a video solely dedicated to espresso. Everyone has their own idea of what a perfect morning ...
  2022-09-12 14:29:22 +0000 UTC View Post

One Good Thing & One Bad Thing - Online Edition

Seasonal allergies are back, baby!

Rose: The new king of boiler room sets
Thorn: Channel 5 YouTube comments

Fire Extinguisher Early Access & Notes

• I kept asking if it would be weird to put an ad at the end of a fire safety video and people kept answering "no". The reason I still didn't add one is that not having to wait for approval means I can post this immediately. This won't be an early access where patrons can enjoy exclusivity for several days. My subscribers need to hear this message!
• Big box hardware stores sell fire extinguishers. Yes, you can buy them on Amazon and wait two days, but if you can go buy one today i...
  2022-09-04 18:38:00 +0000 UTC View Post

Auggy Vloggy Doggy Part 2

Topics Covered:

• The drag queen that blew up Arizona politics
• My new favorite way to oil your cutting board
• Replacing alcohol with mushrooms
• Barkley is finally ready

Curry Paste

Originally, I wanted to make this video about all the ways to use up pesto. I ended up swapping it over to curry paste because I think its suggested uses are far more novel. You can do most of these things with pesto as well, and you could even bake it into bread. I also considered making this a series in which I talked about all the ways to use those sort of always-on-hand ~flavor bombs~ ... but they'd all be almost the exact same suggestions as this video. Even the "mortar and pestle or foo...

How to Enjoy Making Salads

This one's gonna take a long while to get annotated, captioned, chaptered up, and full of salad links, so use this valuable time to post your guaranteed-to-be-a-top-comment comments. Also, no ad at the end of this video! This not-a-recession's got hands 

In Defense of Air Fryers

I posted about this on instagram and it drove people crazy so I'm doubling down by sharing it with a 2000% wider audience:
https://youtube.com/shorts/L5m1_889qaQ

Tasting Waters with A Celebrity Water Sommelier

I never would have guessed that a late-night impulse buy of six water bottles would lead to a 90-minute tasting session and one of my favorite Patron-only bonus videos.

Vegas Trip Stories

A stranger's wild hissy fit, some blue men, and big news in the never-ending quest to be able to sell custom ceramics!

(This manufacturer also produces some sage green and speckled grey glazes, so I will order some more samples before deciding what to do.)

Culinary Uses for Dry Ice

• There's a very funny moment I had to edit out of the video* where I drop a chunk of dry ice into the blender. It touches the metal blade and makes a loud high-pitched squeal, which visibly terrifies me. You can see me jump and recoil like a big baby, and then Darla's head pops up and rotates back and forth to investigate the squeals. Let this be your warning that the sound of metal touching dry ice is embarrassingly scary if you don't expect it!
• The ice cream has a teeny tiny a...
  2022-07-07 16:28:41 +0000 UTC View Post

Dall-E Mini Makes Me Unreasonably Mad

On the complaint docket for today:

• Darla
• AI Image Bot Ripoffs
• YouTube Ad Agencies
• Miranda Rights

Burger for One :(

• Please enjoy the newest Patreon benefit: cursed thumbnails
• I don't think the world needs another burger video, at least in terms of pure instruction. The reason I made this is more to build context around why I make this style of burger at home. The cleanup is much easier since there isn't a ripping hot cast iron griddle, a raw-beef-backed smashula, and a counter full of splattered grease. (No shade towards smashburgers— I still make them when Bree's parents come over)
<...
2022-06-21 17:03:56 +0000 UTC View Post

Pasta Primavera Early Access + Notes

• I started recording this video not knowing that I had a brand new ant infestation in my kitchen. Darla keeps digging stuff up and bringing it into the house, and her latest gift attracted a whole bunch of ants. I was too locked in to break down and take care of the ants, so I'm actually being bitten on the tootsies in this video.
• While editing this video, I accidentally deleted the project half a day in. Between the ant bites and wasted time, my new focus on productivity that I...
  2022-06-09 17:52:42 +0000 UTC View Post

Foodtube Woes of Early June

Topics covered in this rant slash mope sesh include:

• Does instagram finally stink enough to quit?
• Why are voicemail greetings so freakin long?
• Will I ever post a YouTube short that doesn't get wildly misunderstood?
• Lessons learned after one year of joblessness

Should You Trust My Advice?

I go to DeFalcos to get my chili paste because it's a good excuse to buy one of their eggplant parm sandwiches, but Amazon has it for the exact same price.

Knife Sharpening Early Access & Notes

• The least pleasurable of these options to use was the Ruixin Pro table-mounted sharpener thing.
• I cut myself shooting this video! (I started bleeding a bit after slicing a finger on the cardboard while trying to get all these knives to fit in the envelope)
• The Knife Aid website says "24 hour turnaround time" but I dropped off the envelope on Thursday and still haven't gotten so much as an email back.
• The Trizor that I show myself using is my mom's, and it's th...
  2022-05-31 14:41:03 +0000 UTC View Post

Tomorrow is the Season Premiere of Pizza Wars

I was supposed to be episode 2, but they made a last-minute switch. My episode comes out TOMORROW on the First We Feast YouTube channel!

This is a short I knocked out today for a a couple reasons:

1. I want to direct my audience to the video once it's out

2. I wanted to tell this story of how much iterative ideation went into my dish. I didn't mention it in this short, but I also tried thinking up a pizza ice cream with semolina cookies and a basil ricotta swirl.