Astrogoblin

Holiday Schedule (to be read with the Star Wars theme)

Greetings, Gobblers! We hope that your holidays are filled with gruel and thoroughly tumbled stones.

With this time of year being extra busy for the members of our small operation, along with Jacob's impending marriage to a human woman, the upload schedule will be slightly affected.

The Podcast will return on 1/16, BUT we'll have bonus videos for you on each Thursday until its return!

Other than that, you'll be getting your regularly scheduled meals. Thank you for understand...

LOST VIDEOS - The Da Vinci Code

Ewan McGregor used an antimatter bomb to erase this video from existence.

LOST VIDEOS - ADHD Tests

Our first attempt at this video, lost to the ages.

We make an Astrogoblin Christmas Card!

As a holiday treat, we Photoshop our very own Christmas Card in lieu of a Comment 'Shop this week!

We even slapped it on a candle that looks good on the mantlepiece the whole year 'round.

https://astrogoblin-shop.fourthwall.com/products/meryl-gringues

¡Meryl Gringues de los Duendes!

And congratulations to President Xi on the new jacket!

Dead Websites - UNCUT

The internet of your childhood is dead - Ad Free

Patrick is chaotic evil given life. From the moment he asks to sit in the driver's seat, he is scheming to destroy this video. To take what makes a video enjoyable and to make it filth. Painful, raw filth. Enjoy!

Hitman: Van Damme - UNCUT

Funhaus was holding us back - Ad Free

When interviewed by John Johnson in 1988, John Stewart expressed regret for writing the Black Belt article on Dux's alleged Kumite victory. He described himself as naive for believing Dux, saying that after the story was published he received information that "raised questions about Dux's military career". Jim Coleman, then editor of Black Belt, added that Dux's story was "based on false premises" and there was no evidence of the Kumite. Kenneth Wilson from the Ministry of Sports in The Baham...

AstroPodlin 30: That Verizon Razzle Dazzle

Scams, tiny e-readers, and lost recordings- it's... ASTROPODLINNNNN

The Comment 'Shop - Episode 31

Somehow, Rotta the Hutt has returned.

Comment ‘Shop 31 & 32 Prompt!

We’re doubling up again ahead of the holidays! Do your worst.

Spending $100 on Temu is harder than you think - ad free

Get your daddy a brand new scythe for his backyard, or maybe a pair of motion sickness goggles for your eldest sister. The problem of Christmas can be solved if you watch this video!

Temu Gift Guide - UNCUT

Okay it's not truly uncut. Jacob's address, nudity, and other naughty things were constantly on display, and were rightfully purged.

Indiana Jones - UNCUT

"Marcus, why does my mouth taste like a YouTuber's whole wet hand?"

That mouth belongs in a museum - Ad Free

We've got merch! Y'all Patreon members get 10% off https://astrogoblin-shop.fourthwall.com/promo/GOBBLER10

WE HAVE MERCH

Our merch store is live and ye Gobblers get a discount for your unfailing loyalty and service to the cause.

Our fine and sexy new items are as follows
- Goblin Logo Tee
- Goblin Pocket Tee
- Goblin Bucket Hat
- FREE SALZIGE Tee

Click this link or use code GOBBLER10 for a 10% discount!
https://astrogoblin-shop.fourthwall.com/promo/GOBBLER10

AstroPodlin 29: Single Jacob's Gone Off The Service Ramp

The podcast is late on purpose because I am exercising my power as a content creator

The Comment 'Shop - Episode 30

Santa gets what's coming to him, shaking the toy-making world for the better.

La guerra de las galaxias

¡Guerra! La República se desmorona bajo los ataques del despiadado Conde Dooku, señor de los Sith. Hay héroes en ambos bandos. El mal está por doquier.

En una maniobra audaz, el diabólico líder droide, general Grievous, ha entrado a la capital de la República y secuestrado al canciller Palpatine, líder del Senado Galáctico.

Mientras el Ejército Droide Separatista trata de huir de la asediada capital con su valioso rehén, dos caballeros Jedi dirigen una misión desesp...

Patrick Counts to Five

How high can you get?

Finding Santa in GeoGuessr - UNCUT

Legend says that if you can find and subdue a Santa Claus, he will grant you your hearts desire

We found him!

Legend says that if you can find and subdue a Santa Claus, and if you've been very nice, he will grant you your hearts desire.

Comment ‘Shop 30 Prompt!

Thirty? THIRTY??? How did it come to this? Anyway, give us a prompt, love.

We watch the ending of "The Beaver"

Massive L for Jodie Foster.

The worst level of any game ever - AD FREE

Beavers have caster sacks near the base of their tail that produce a yellowish goo called castorium. They use castorium to scent mark their territory and communicate with other beavers.

Narnia Part 3 - UNCUT

Watch this uncut video for the Beaver.

Most recent podcast not appearing in other apps

Hey Gobblers! Charlotte here. It seems there's some issue causing Patreon to not push episode 28 of AstroPodlin to Apple and Spotify (and presumably other apps).

I've reached out to support. Hopefully this is fixed sooner than later but in the meantime, listening in the Patreon app itself may be your best bet.

Sorry for the hassle and as always: stay cool, stay frosty, stay goblin'2024-12-06 17:18:45 +0000 UTC View Post

AstroPodlin 28: The Skele-Woke Crew

We get the Star Wars and YA talk out of the way early so we can get to the cool fun stuff: the Fentanyl crisis!

The Comment 'Shop - Episode 29

We're sorry for what you are about to witness.