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Ep 132 - Medieval Failsons: The Idiot Boys of Eleanor of Aquitaine

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. we answered a question from Buddy Dude. the final episode of the Dante's Inferno will drop this Friday, so get ready for that!

last time, we talked about two famous Medieval women, Hildegard of Bingen and Eleanor of Aquitaine. they were both titans in their own respects but there's a small issue with Eleanor's legacy and that's her 4 idiot failsons. while Eleanor's daughters were apparently quite proficient, her 4 son...

Medieval Women: Hildegard of Bingen & Eleanor of Aquitaine

patrons, this is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode, enjoy! we answered a question from Ellen.

in this one, we revisit our occasional series on the lives of prominent Medieval women as we discuss Hildegard of Bingen and Eleanor of Aquitaine. though they made their impacts felt in different ways, they were each monumentally important. Hildegard was a polymath who made her mark in the realms of religion, music, and science. Eleanor, meanwhile, was raised from birth to be ...

Ep 130 - Medieval What If... 2: Wrong Kid Died

patrons, here's the ad-free version of this week's episode, we answered a question from A Guy in PA.

we're back for another episode off Medieval what if scenarios. it's late, we all know it's late, it's fine. What if the Norman Invasion failed? What if Constantinople held out in 1453? What if Arthur Tudor, Henry VIII's older brother, hadn't died early? well, there's only one way to find out...

August Update

Patrons, we are terribly sorry but there will only be one bonus episode this month (the Inferno episode we published a couple weeks back). The hurricane in the Gulf closing schools and a bit of sickness mean we won't be able to do a second one for August. We tried multiple times this week to get it done just weren't able to swing it. We are sorry but know you'll understand. We'll be back in September with the final installment of Inferno and another bonus episode for your enjoyment.

As ...

Ep 129 - Medieval What If...

patrons, here's your ad-free regular episode for the week. we answered a question from x Guava Smoothie x on this one.

folks, today we move out of the realm of actual history and into the realm of alternative history as we take a look at some Medieval "what if..." scenarios. We go through a series of historical events, change one small detail, and see how things would've been different, if at all. What if the Moors won the Battle of Tours? What if the English won the Hundred Years War? ...

Bonus Ep 45 - Dante's Inferno 6: Body Horror

patrons, this is your first bonus episode of the month, please enjoy!

Luke and Eleanor get to the penultimate entry in the book club series on Dante's Inferno. we finally finish up Circle Eight by meeting more fraudulent sinners and Dante ramps everything up, trying to outdo his heroes, writing some of the first body horror in history, and, of course, dancing on the graves of his enemies. that will take us through ditches seven, eight, nine, and ten, and get us right to the cusp of the ...

Ep 128 - Medieval Fail Sons: Wenceslas IV & Sigismund

hello, patrons, this is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. our next bonus on Dante's Inferno will be out Friday afternoon EST. we answered a question from Drew Varney the Vampire

this time, we embark on another occasional series we're going to do from time-to-time going forward and this one is all about Medieval fail sons who squandered the fortunes, power, and goodwill engendered by their parents and were just general fuck-ups. Today, we're talking about the two fail ...

Ep 127 - Courtly Entertainers

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. we answer a question from Buddy Dude and took the episode topic from a suggestion by Arky. there will be no bonus episode this week but the next installment of our series on Dante's Inferno will be out next Friday.

in this episode, we discuss the entertainment that you would see at a Medieval court: troubadours, dancers, jugglers, and, of course, jesters. we take a look at these professions, what their performances we...

Ep 126 - Markets and Market Towns

patrons, here's your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. we answer a question from Cristina and took the topic from a suggestion by mpreg tamerlane.

we're back to talk about a huge facet of Medieval life: going to the market. what were they like? what was a market town? what could you buy there? who went to market? how were they run? were Medieval goth kids hanging out at the market like they do at the mall? we will discuss all of that plus the social and cultural functions ...

Bonus Ep 44 - Current Events 4: Social Media Decline & Dark Souls

hello, patrons, here's your second bonus episode for July 2023. as you know by now, we had planned to begin a series on season 1 of Star Wars: Andor. however, with the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes ongoing and Andor being a struck production, we received word that the unions have asked podcasters not to promote struck work and since filming and production of Andor season 2 has been struck, we will not be covering the show until the strike is over. we know you'll understand but we just don't do sc...

Ep 125 - Medieval Women: The Two Mary's

hello, patrons, this is your ad-free regular episode for the week. on Friday, a new bonus episode will drop and it's about Star Wars and the TV show Andor.

in this episode, we start an intermittently recurring series where we explore the lives and times of two famous Medieval women. and while these will usually be about women who lived and rose to prominence during the Middle Ages, we kinda had to start with two women from an earlier era who were nonetheless extremely important: Mary, t...

Ep 124 - Medieval Mining

patrons, here is your ad-free regular episode for the week. we answered a question from Long Skate Death.

we are back and we're talking Medieval mining. we often discuss the elaborate jewels and metals used for ostentatious royal displays and the iron weapons shaped by blacksmiths for war but how does all that metal get out of the ground? who's doing the work to dig it out? what mining technology and methods were present during the Middle Ages? what does the Roman Empire have to do with...

Bonus Ep 43 - Dante's Inferno 5: Evil Ditches

we're back with part 5 of our book club series on Dante's Inferno. we pick back up in Circle Eight where the sinners who committed fraud stay for all eternity divided into ten narrow ditches situated like the seating at an amphitheater or open-air stadium. today, we get through the first six of these ditches, which include pimps, flatterers, evil popes, sorcerers, winged demons doing Three Stooges bits, and more! enjoy!

attached is an artist's rendition of what the Malebolge complex fro...

Ep 123 - Ye Olde Patron Mailbag

hello, patrons, here's your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. it's a mailbag so we answered a bunch of your questions that we hadn't gotten around to yet.

it's time for another mailbag episode from our backlog of questions from our patrons. since we usually answer one question an episode, we can't possibly get to all the questions, so we do these mailbags from time-to-time. in this one, we cover a wide range of topics from the Brother Cadfael mystery series to church debat...

Ep 122 - Petro States for Wool

patrons, here's your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. we answered a question from Jas the Texican

we are back and this time we're doing a deep dive into Medieval wool production and how it undergirded the economies of much of Europe and turned places like England, Flanders, and the cities of the Hanseatic League into petro states for wool. we look at how it was produced, what it meant, why something so simple could come to predominate the continental economy and more!

Bonus Ep 42 - Current Events: Deep Sea Icarus

hello, patrons, here's your second bonus episode for June 2023, please enjoy! since we are terminally online creatures of the zeitgeist, we talked about the whole Titanic submarine disaster. we do a deep dive into the lore surrounding the sub's destruction and the hubris that leads someone to do this in the first place. then we talk about why humans should not try to go to the bottom of the sea as there are some places we were not meant to tread, even more so than the vacuum of space.

h...

Ep 121 - Wars of the Roses 5: One Rose to Rule Them All

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode, enjoy! we answer a question from Shark Week in this one.

So we finally come to the end of our series on the Wars of the Roses and technically the Hundred Years War too. We conclude both by discussing the Treaty of Picquigny, which ended the Hundred Years Wars after 138 years, then we move onto the death of Edward IV, the villainy of Richard III, Henry Tudor, Bosworth Field, and finally, the red and white Tudor rose to...

Ep 120 - Wars of the Roses 4: The Yorkist Reign

patrons, here's your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. enjoy!

we answered a question from The Lemonduck

better late than never, huh? we're back with part 4 of our series on The Wars of the Roses and this time it's the Yorkists turn to take full control and dash all their external enemies: Warwick the Kingmaker is killed, the Lancastrian royal line is extinguished, and they even broker a treaty with France to formally end the Hundred Years War. now if Edward could jus...

Bonus Ep 41 - Dante's Inferno 4: I Don't Like Sand

patrons, thank you once again for subscribing and supporting the show, we really appreciate it! in this bonus episode, we continue our journey through Hell with the 4th part of our book club series on Dante's Inferno. this time, we traverse the horrors of Circle Seven, which includes three rings of its own and some of Dante's most affecting and/or metal imagery so far: we've got a boiling blood river, a forest of suicides, a flaming desert, and then a ride on demon-back down to the next circl...

Ep 119 - Wars of the Roses 3: Royal Hot Potato

patrons, please enjoy your ad-free edition of this week's regular episode. the next bonus episode will be out this Friday, it's part 4 of the book club series on Dante's Inferno.

this week we answer a question from David.

we're back with more wars and more roses. this time, the Yorkists finally take control of the conflict, depose the old king, and assume full regal power over the realm. they win some battles, the old king gets passed around like a royal hot potato, and Edward Yor...

Ep 118 - Wars of the Roses 2: Loveday

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's episode.

we answered a question from A Guy From PA

we're back continuing the series on the Wars of the Roses and this time we take a look at the early years. we've got the seesaw battle between Lancastrians and Yorkists, the last flourishes of English chivalry, King Henry VI is captured repeatedly, two battles that last less than thirty minutes each, and we get everyone's favorite pitiful attempt to reinforce the status quo: Lov...

Bonus Ep 40 - Game of Thrones x Wars of the Roses

hello patrons, here's your second bonus episode of May. since we just started a series on the Wars of the Roses, we thought it might be nice to do some comparisons between the real people and events from the Wars of the Roses that inspired George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series and of course the HBO TV series Game of Thrones. so check it out and let us know which ones we missed!

Ep 117 - Wars of the Roses 1: Bloodlines

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. please note that our next bonus episode will be out on Friday, June 2.

we pick up right where we left off in our Hundred Years War series as we introduce the Wars of the Roses, the dynastic conflict that paved the way for England to become the globe-bestriding colossus we know and hate. we talk all about the Plantagenets, the Lancastrians, the Yorkists, and even a couple of Tudors. it's a lot of convoluted back storie...

Ep 116 - Hundred Years War 6: Revenge of the French

hello, patrons, this is your ad-free version for this week's regular episode. 

we answer a question from September Falconer.

we're back with the final episode of our series on the Hundred Years War. we talk about the English dominance in the early stages of the Lancastrian period, including the crushing victory at Agincourt and taking over huge swaths of French territory, even Paris itself. but then we see the emergence of Joan of Arc and one of the most unlikely events in hi...

Bonus Ep. 39 - Dante's Inferno 3: Ironic Punishments Division

we're back in Hell and you're coming with us. in part 3 of the book club series on Dante's Inferno, Luke and Eleanor check out circles 3-6, make it through the Gates of Dis with a little divine intervention, and wonder what Dante had against Epicurus. 

please excuse the brief audio issues that crop up, we had some technical issues

attachment 1 is a look at the modern skyline of San Gimignano, which we mention in comparison to the skyline of Dis. 

Ep 115 - Hundred Years War 5: A Not-So-Quiet Peace

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode, enjoy! please note that our next bonus episode, part 3 of the Dante's Inferno series, will release tomorrow.

we answer a question from Luul in this one.

we're back and the Hundred Years War continues on, kinda.  following the Truce at Leulinghem, there is a 26-year-long peace between England and France though it wasn't because their differences had been resolved, they just couldn't continue fighting each ot...

Ep 114 - Hundred Years War 4: French Revanchism

hello, patrons, this is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. 

we answered a question from Laura in this one.

we're back! well, the English had their fun and won some big victories and even took a ton of French land in the Treaty of Bretigny but then everything went pear-shaped for the English. they backed the wrong sides in proxy wars, pissed off the French nobles who sided with them, and lost a series of battles when the war resumed. Then both Edwards died an...

Ep 113 - Hundred Years War 3: Upjumped Englishmen

patrons, here is the ad-free version of this week's regular episode. we answer a question from Weird Guy in this one, check it out.

we're back with another installment of our series on the Hundred Years War. this time, Luke and Eleanor discuss how the English from their backwater sheepfold were able to get huge wins during the early part of the war and how they somehow still managed to field armies large enough to do battle within five years of the Black Death.

Bonus Ep 38 - Current Events 2: Blue Check Post-Apocalypse

hello patrons, here's your second bonus episode for April! this time, Luke and Eleanor step out of the medieval era and do another current events episode. first, there's talk of what's happening on twitter with the blue checks being removed and then returned and what it all means. don't care about twitter? that's fine, you can still listen in to hear some of the worst takes imaginable and who doesn't like that? then we turn to a question from patron Matthew Six-Four, who asked about how we se...

Ep 112 - Hundred Years War 2: War Were Declared

patrons, here is your ad-free version of this week's regular episode. please note that the next bonus episode will be released on Friday, it's another current events type deal, you'll love it.

this week's question came from Lex on the Discord

we're back with more Hundred Years War action! Luke and Eleanor do a bit more introduction for the conflict, including longbow chat, then talk about the very early years of the war and how the English navy got its first big win in history. al...