In the ’90s there was a miracle product that took away all pain, for most people, maybe, usually, and if it didn’t you could keep trying. It was built on lies intended only for the very dumb. It was way too expensive and came in a box way too big. The only way it could be any more American would be if it was endorsed by American Gladiator Tower, Miss America Lee Meriweather, and Maximum American Eve...
2023-07-21 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Look, in the sky! It’s a weak child! It’s a lack of appetite! It’s trouble focusing on schoolwork, NO! It’s Captain Hadacol! Captain Hadacol was the official superhero of anemic kids back when we diagnosed most childhood diseases as “god just couldn’t wait to see his favorite angel again.” There was even a promotional comic where Captain Hadacol saved dipshit children from their own hubris...
2023-07-20 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostBrockway sacrifices Seanbaby and Lydia Bugg to the fucking devil again!
That's it, that's the bonus podcast!
2023-07-19 12:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
By the hoary rites of the goose-pawed Ipes, we have summoned our own Lydia Bugg to this Dogg Zzone 9000 to read with us from the Book of the Demon Star by Diablito Al Ghoul, a yoga maniac filled with semen, trained by the ninja, and powered by Satan’s cousin’s adopted son-in-law. A dark curse upon you, 2023-07-19 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
In the 1990s, gender roles in American toys were much more rigid and inflexible than they are today. With few exceptions — board games, Slip ‘n’ Slides, misplaced handguns — there were Girls Toys and Boys Toys, and never the twain should meet. Girls played with Barbies, The Littlest Pet Shop, and all things fluorescent pink. Boys played with Transformers, NERF guns, and all things gross and grim...
2023-07-18 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
You fools, you probably all believed the rumors of Quibi’s death. Like an evil twin in a soap opera, it’s made a dramatic return, but being played by a different actress because the original one got a recurring role on Law & Order. ReelShort TV took the idea for Quibi, an app with subpar content that was too expensive, and said, “What if we made the content even worse and also more ex...
2023-07-17 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Polly Adler was a famous brothel owner, and three years after she died, the great comedy writer Phil Hirsch compiled a book of jokes about her. As the editor of 101 Hamburger Jokes, 2023-07-14 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Last year I wrote about a hedge wizard named S Rob and his vast library of magickal internet grifts. We’re already revisiting that column because… he found it. Here’s the original article again, in case S Rob worked a memory-erasing spell when he realized you would be his greatest mystical enemy, should your powers be allowed to manifest.
Here's the original article, with S Rob's re...
2023-07-13 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby reads Brockway a list of insane, unconnected things that may or may not lead to a murder. It's just another normal Seanbaby's Book Game! But this time it's got Fryda Wolff!
2023-07-12 12:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
This week we’re talking to voice actor, skate warrior, and elven bootyshaker Fryda Wolff about Rollergames, 1989’s rollerskating predecessor to American Gladiators. It was worse than Gladiators in every single way, but those ways had the decency to be fascinating. The characters were less likable, but there we...
2023-07-12 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Don’t. Nobody can publish that list without getting kicked to death. Critics ask “what gives you the right?” Grad students ask “What is a list?” Writers ask “Did I get third, first, or both?” Instapoets ask “How do I look at rain without drowning?”
No answer can save you, because i...
2023-07-11 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Well, it’s already that time again. Nearly nude Canadian children’s television superhero time, I mean. Rocket Robin Hood, the 1966 cartoon created with the equation of public domain character – pants + space. Rocket Robin Hood is a distant descendant of Earth’s famous outlaw, and all of the people in his band are also descendants of his Merry Men. Another important distinction between R...
2023-07-10 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Seanbaby: Brockway, here’s my idea: we form an academic place of learning, right here on our website.
Brockway: Oh thank god, I actually still need 17 credits and a foreign language proficiency to finish my college degree. I’ve been living a lie all this time, pretending like I had a Bachelor’s in Liberal Arts. Imagine if they checked! I’d be fired from th...
2023-07-07 12:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
I am here to tell you a story. A story about a man. A man with a dream. A dream he purchased for 6,000 dollars from the bankrupt company of the guy who first had that dream. In 2019, John Fenley bought the rights and catalog of Murphie, a defunct media com...
2023-07-06 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostAfter two and a half hours of Compu-Toon, somehow Seanbaby and Dennard Dayle actually stay for a bonus episode. They're rewarded with OK Science, the ONLY scientifically verified hot dog themed podcast bonus episode.
2023-07-05 12:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
This week we’re joined by academic, acclaimed author, regular newsletter rememberer and fellow Hot Dog Dennard Dayle. 2023-07-05 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
“The Recipe For A Perfect Cartoon” is a “how to toon!” guide, posted on a conservative political cartoonist’s janky personal website. It’s even worse than that sounds.
Michael P. Ramirez is a two-t...
2023-07-04 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Have you ever looked at a rich, successful, ripped specimen of a man and thought, “that’s a guy who for sure never fucks. Not a thimble of semen has left that man in decades. You can just feel the power of never, ever cuming, radiating off of him like the spirit of a Catholic kaiju.” That’s right; it’s time to talk about absorbing semen into your bloodstream like a true Alpha Male, a ...
2023-07-03 12:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
There are some moments in history so dark we don’t talk about them. And then there are moments that certainly didn’t happen and got penciled in later by malevolent time lords. If this “actual comic book” which “always existed here in our reality” is to be believed, then in 1961, Yogi Bear declared his cave an independent nation and argued his case before the United Nations:
2023-06-30 12:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we fuse together like those Lego pieces that don’t come apart so you can only use them as the caps on things.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where this h...
2023-06-29 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby challenges Brockway and guest, Dirk Marshall, to the barb wire guillotine match of podcasting: Seanbaby's Book Game!
2023-06-28 12:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
This week we’re talking to Dirk Marshall from the VHUS Podcast: Where all the best taped garbage is found. 2023-06-28 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Yes hello well their telling me i got a bulged disc so right now i’m writing this one in a laydown bed position, but even though its sort of a infirm situation maybe you can pretend its a seductial positionin and instead of a minecraft microfiber blanket its like a red silk microfiber blanket draped over my pantsless form because today is a effword day but also one of repentance:
You see I take ...
2023-06-27 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
There are two things that Christian book companies love: mythical creatures and puns. The popular series Elf-help has both! It’s a bunch of cheerful little cartoons drawn by the same guy who does Paddington Bear, mixed with advice for dealing with life’s little annoyances like:
Oh shit,...
2023-06-26 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s a glorious Nerding Day miracle, for today we celebrate the three pillars of nerding: Christianity, High Fantasy, and Virginity. You may remember author and champion of unfucked holes, Jennie Bishop, who wrote The Princess and the Kiss. It was a story about a princess sa...
2023-06-23 12:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Blue Comet Comics brought you pure and earnest lunacy from writer, artist, editor, and owner Craig Stormon, whose mind was forever trapped in a labyrinth of his own making. If you’ve ever watched a rambling maniac drift too close to a bank entrance and get tased by security, Blue Comet Press tells his side of the story. The one with electric lizardmen and kidnapped money princesses.
I already co...
2023-06-22 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby tricks Brockway and guest, Dan McQuade, with a book game cleverly disguised as a disgraced Confederate coward. They'll probably think they've gone backwards in time!
2023-06-21 12:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s Dogg Zzone 9000 Day, and this week Defector co-founder Dan McQuade returns to share his expertise on the Civil War. More specifically, the time Hulk Hogan won it for the South using only a superboat, a remote control grenade launcher, fifteen laser guns, an...
2023-06-21 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
The ’90s were, as you know, the most extreme decade of all time. The day-glo colors and hair metal of the ’80s pupated and metamorphosed into in-your-face, gross-out, over-the-top action, giving us the ascendance of Nickelodeon, Power Rangers, and the X-Games. So what do you get when an experienced producer and the director of the Masters of the Universe movie launches a new transmedia fran...
2023-06-20 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be popular? For some of the people who work for this website, we may never know. As you’re all aware, Sean is the cool one, Brockway is the mysterious one, and I’m the one who always has a little bit of a tummy ache. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be popular, and now I finally know, thanks to POPular TEEN-AGERS, the comic. Finally,...
2023-06-19 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post