ActionBoyz

New Year's Evil (1980)

Hap-py New Years Act-tion Bay-Beez. The HorrorBoyz are making an appearance to help you bring in the new year with an obscure Cannon horror movie called NEW YEARS EVIL. Why you ask? Well, it was this or Entrapment. Don’t you worry - the Boyz made the right choice. Cannon delivers by stacking this movie with wooden performances, inexplicable dialogue, nudity and incomprehensible plot points - you will NEVER be able to figure what happens next. The movie’s unpredictable nature has nothing t...

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Merry Christmas ActionBoyz Guyz and Girlz! The Boyz are bringing you a very special holiday episode. DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER is under your Christmas tree this year. This is a glorious movie made at a time when even shitty sequels were somehow awesome. You got family in town? Why not watch Bruce Willis riff some duds. Exchanging gifts? Watch Mrs. McClane abuse the weaselly reporter guy for a whole plane ride just because people liked it in the first one. Drinking eggnog? Enjoy the convenient ja...

RoboCop (1987)

"Dead or alive you're listening to this episode ActionBoyz Guyz and Girlz" It's fucking ROBOCOP this week. This movie is why this show exsists. It's got it all... filthy language, nudity, extreme violence, inspired action and a Dutch weirdo's sick point of view. Rest assured the Boyz leave no stone unturned and no limb un-bionic. Find out how this film inspired a sexual awakening in Gabrus and marvel at Stanger's inane theory on the last line of the movie. "Yes, I understand" should be your only...

Shadow Wolves December

Your intention for this episode is LISTENING.

also: since you pay the big bucks, here are the upcoming films.

Robocop

XMAS- Die Hard 2

New Years Eve- New Years Evil

listen up and have a happy new year whiteboy

Donnie Brasco (1997)

"Forget about it..." Ring any bells?? Come on ActionBabyz! The Boyz are talking DONNIE BRASCO this week. This ones got it all - cops, mafia, a late seventies aesthetic, accents, and fucking Al Pacino crushing it. With so much to unpack, this episode goes LONG. The Boyz talk so long on this one their editor had to invent new technology to upload the goddamn episode. Does this episode warrant the length?? SPOILER ALERT: Fuck yeah it does...this one is gonna win the ABZ a fucking Emmy

Red Sonja (1985)

Sword and sandals this week ActionBabyz. The Boyz return to the Hyborian Age and have a nice little visit with RED SONJA. This type of movie is right in the sweet spot for the ABZ; the locations, sets and cast look amazing while the performances fucking suck. Neilsen and Schwarzenegger look incredible together but manage to be boring with their 63 minute play-fight (them tapping their swords together) that's supposed to be sexy? All the footage they had of Arnold/Kalidor, not Conan, is shameless...

Shadow Wolves December

Hey Tough Guy. Sound off with your questions below to be answered on this months shadow wolves.

ART by Rodgers

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

It's here...the last movie of 2018's Nijavember and what would entire month dedicated to ninja movies be without the teenage, mutant variety. You guest it ActionBabyz, this week's movie is TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. You're in for a wild ride this episode, Stanger makes a point to tease a C- story that he unceremoniously tells at the end of the show. Porn plays a major role in the show again. Gabrus is certain that the Ninja Turtle, Donatello has a huge cock. Do the Boyz think Kevin Clash gave...

Five Element Ninjas (1982)

Ninjavember ninjas on...5 ELEMENT NINJAS is the ActionBoyz offering this week. Woah baby! You want ninjas? You got em. You want bad wigs and weird fake sideburns? You got em. You want one shitty voice actor cartoonishly doing most of the character's voices. You got him. This movie scratches a lot of ninja itches.  If you have ninja crabs,the Boyz have you covered with this one. And If something horrible happens, the Boyz will avegenge your death - even if you're not dead yet!

Shadow Wolves November

my intention for this episode is to listen

The Octagon (1980)

(Spoken in a whisper) It's THE OCTAGON this week week week. I hope the ActionBabyz like it it it. It's early in Chuck Norris's career and he still looks over 50 50 50. Half the movie is dedicated to Norris and the Justine lady figuring out how to get her Jag back on the road road road. This movie is fucking complicated cated cated. Is Norris just following the martial arts expo around around around? How does he make money money money? What's the brunette ninja chick's name name name? I'm proud o...

American Ninja (1985)

It has begun... Ninjavember or Novinja (still sorting it out) AMERICAN NINJA is what the Boyz chose to christen this special month. Why you ask? The fact that its a CANNON movie about ninjas should be enough. But if your're still not sure, how about puffy hair, stinky insults, middle aged man wedgies, and motorcycle windshields through throats. Still not convinced? Shit. Who the fuck do you think you are? Just fucking listen - you'll like it. And try being more open in the future. 

Shadow Wolves November

Gather up the pack, because it is time to etch your question into this post, and the boyz will answer em later in the month

Halloween (1978)

For the exciting conclusion of OCTOOKY the HorrorBoyz are presenting you a special HALLOWEEN themed episode. Did you guess what movie they'd be doing for HALLOWEEN? They'll be no spoilers in this description, you'll have to listen to find out. At the end of this episode you'll be asking yourself  "was that the boogeyman?" Well, The HorrorBoyz are here to tell you, "as a matter of fact, it was!"

The Crow (1994)

Brace yourself ActionBabyz your Boyz are about to get dark. In honor of the last half of Spooktober or Octooky (still workshopping the name) the ABZ are taking flight with THE CROW. There is truly nothing more terrifying than what was considered "cool" when this movie was filmed. But don't fret, your brave heros combat the darkness by not shying away from making fun of Brandon Lee and his big head despite what happened while filming. Relax...ol' bobble-head isn't the only one who gets it, nobody...

Shadow Wolves October

My intent for this episode is to listen to it.

Our brothers, the wolves are back, and this time they MIGHT even answer some questions.

Darkman (1990)

Justice has a new face, and if you listen to this week's ep you'll know he has a huge cock too. That's right kidz, this week's pic is DARKMAN. The Boyz spend close to three hours on all the ins and outs of this Sam Raimi offering. There's a lot to like about this weird little movie despite some holes in the plot bigger than the holes in old Darkman's burned cheeks. The ABZ settle a debate about whether or not the freak boy at the carnival has scales and question DM's strategy when he puts on a n...

A View to a Kill (1985)

The Boyz are finally taking on Bond and guess what ActionBabyz! You've got a perfect view to this week's pic, A VIEW TO A KILL. A few things to keep in mind; Roger Moore is old as shit, Chris Walken is playing a bad guy for the first time and Grace Jones is...well...Grace Jones. Join the ABZ as they try to understand Q's shitty surveillance robot, the need to set so much of the movie at city hall, and what the fuck Bond's plan was when he climbed to the back of the fire engine. So bring your app...

Shadow Wolves October

My intention for this post is to get your questions, which we 'will' 'answer' in an episode later in the month.

if you see a question you really like, hit it with a heart. The highest rated questions WILL be answered.

howl away wolves

The Hunt for Red October (1990)

It's October ActionBabyz!! You know what that means...The Boyz will be talking THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, naturally. This is a deadly serious  movie - would it have been the same if Connery had gotten his wish and been able to wear a long fake ponytail? The mystery of Alec Baldwin is solved, it involves Long Island. Also the likelihood of Jeffery Jones being involved in illegal activity during the filming of this is very high. So take a journey with the ABZ to a time "when the world trembled...

Predator 2 (1990)

HOO HA HOO HA HOO HA HOO HA. That sound means you're being hunted by a Predator. PREDATOR 2 that is. Its 1997 and the fight takes place in a crime riddled LA this time - changed from New York at the last minute for budgetary reasons, you can tell. There's a heatwave happening and that's EXTREMELY important to the Predator. The creature stalks Danny Glover this time and spies on him like he's fucking SHARKY. But all that intel and new exciting gadgets and weapons are no match for old D Glover's f...

Shadow Wolves September 2018

Gather round wolves, and learn from the elite.

Eraser (1996)

You giving up some juicy details about the illegal activity of your employer?? You need to be erased. The only guy that can do it is Freddy Kruger's brother, John.  It's ERASER this week ActionBabyz. So take the page and follow the children's map to the "City Zoo". Don't worry about the rail guns, they can see your internal organs through a wall but they rarely hit anybody. The Boyz work alone so don't trust sleazy, guilty-acting Jimmy Caan. Just throw your belt knife at him, he won't belie...

Miami Connection (1987)

MIAMI CONNECTION this week ActionBabyz. This is a very special movie so the Boyz enlist the services of very a special friend of the show, Anders Holm. 

Friends through eternity
Loyalty, honesty
We'll stay together
Through thick or thin
Friends forever
We'll be together
We're on top
'Cause we play to win

Now watch YK KIM and the rest of Dragon Sound kick some fucking ass and remember: 

"Only through the elimination of violence can we achie...

Men at Work (1990)

It might be Labor Day but the BOYZ are working hard for you. This weeks pic is MEN AT WORK– get it? This movie, that grossed $16 million at the box office, loomed large in the ABZ universe and had major cultural significance. It showed Charlie Sheen could be funny. It gave the world the rule, "never touch another man's fries". It offers the best use of yellow barrels ever in modern cinema. Even though the "James And Carl's Surf Shop" never becomes a reality, this masterpiece deserves high prai...

Shadow Wolves September

Thank you my brother. You are about to embark on a sacred journey.

leave your questions in the comments. The action boyz will get to about 1 or 2 of them.

Striking Distance (1993)

Do you have WiFi on the boat where you live? Well you're gonna need it cause it's STRIKING DISTANCE this week ActionBabiez! The ABZ are serving up a hot episode. It's guaranteed to be hot AF because they rerecorded certain parts to make it more sexy. Also, you should know that if anything happens with you and the law, Dennis Farina will be there. No joke - Farina will be there even if it's miles away from him and in the middle of the night. Now hurry up and put on your dress blues, we're gonna b...

Escape from New York (1981)

One day you're a decorated war hero the next day you're robbing a bank and getting thrown into the United State's last prison which is New York. Your only hope for release is if the president has to crash land in his escape pod there and the US Prison Force needs you to put your glider flying skills to use. Has this happened to you? If so, you have a lot in common with this week's movie, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. Get your eyepatches and your blow dryers ready ActionBabyz the president needs your hel...

Shadow Wolves

Behold, the second episode of ShadowWolves has arrived. You you are a ShadowWolf for life now and with that come new responsibilities. Mostly it's just paying an extra $3 bucks a month and trying not to annoy the Boyz with dumb questions. Did you succeed this month? Listen to the episode and about 2.5 of you will learn if your questions were worthy. Howl at the moon Wolves

If Looks Could Kill (1991)

IF LOOKS COULD KILL, you'll die when you watch this week's pic because Richard Grieco looks fucking weird. This was such an undertaking the Boyz brought in another Boy, Sean Clements, to assist them on their mission. Only together were the ABZs and Sean able to make sense of Grieco's 26 year old eyebrows, the almost entirely absent high school component of this movie about a high school student turned spy, and the disastrous soundtrack. If this movie were a salad, it would be, by far, the best J...