Winter’s Rebirth: B1 - 6. Noble Secrets

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Images of the past flashed through Elara’s closed eyelids, a nightmare replayed in her mind: the white-picket fence, the wide property house that absorbed noise too well, and Kyle’s angry voice echoing through the large space, just getting home from a forty-eight hour railroad run.

“Where’s the damn fifty dollars, Elara?” The door slammed behind him, making her flinch. “I know I left it here!”

Standing beside the kitchen table, breakfast ready as usual when he got off work, she tried to stop her hands from trembling. Kyle’s large frame soon took up the doorway, blocking any escape, his face flushed from the alcohol. 

“I gave it to Mom, Kyle.” she calmly said, trying to keep her voice steady. “We agreed I could help my parents out with the rent. Remember? It was part of the deal when I—”

“Don’t give me that shit!” Kyle interrupted, stepping closer, his eyes narrowing. “You think I’m stupid? You think I don’t know what you’re up to? Hiding away money! Always sneaking around, treating me like some damn fool.”

“Kyle, please,” she softly soothed, trying to defuse the situation. “You said it was okay. You make enough money for us to—”

His hand lashed out, the backhand striking her face like a mallet. Elara’s head snapped to the side and she stumbled into the table, her hand sinking into the scrambled eggs with cheese, the sting bringing tears to her eyes. She didn’t cry out, didn’t move, just sat there with her quivering hand in the eggs, willing herself to remain calm.

Kyle seemed to realize what he’d done, his anger shifting to a twisted form of remorse as he moved forward to check the damage; she already felt the split lip.

“Damn it, Elara,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair and grabbing the napkin off the table. “I didn’t mean to hit you. But you—you make me do it. You know how I get when you lie to me.”

Elara kept her watering gaze on the table, her cheek throbbing as he dipped the napkin in the water and started dabbing her lip. “I didn’t lie,” she whispered, fingernails digging into her palm. “I would never lie to you, Kyle.”

A heavy sigh left his lips as he guided her over to the sink as if a trouble-child he needed to take care of and grabbed a dish towel to replace the napkin. “Here,” he said, handing it to her. “Get some ice out of the freezer and put some ice on it. You don’t want it to swell… Has the new refrigerator been working well?”

“…Yeah,” she said, trying not to set him off again and refrain from flinching again as the heavy smell of booze hit her. “It’s been wonderful, dear. Thank you for buying it for me.”

Elara took the towel and went to the fridge to get the ice, trying to remain stable and not stumble with the world still spotted and spinning. She pressed it gently to her cheek. She didn’t flinch when he reached out to touch her shoulder, his hand heavy and familiar—too familiar.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice gentler now, mirroring the tone he used when they were just getting to know each other. “You know I love you, right? It’s just—sometimes you make me so damn mad. I don’t like it when you keep things from me.”

She nodded slightly, knowing better than to argue. “I know, Kyle. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure to get the bank statement next time to show you. It’s my fault.”

Kyle’s gaze shifted to the side counter, where some old books were neatly stacked, slips of paper slid in specific pages for reference. He laughed to himself and went to open up one, being a bit too rough on the pages.

“Are you still seeing that friend of yours? The one from college?” he asked, his tone lighter, but still carrying an edge with the alcohol in his system. “What was her name… Patrisia, right? Are you sneaking into classes with her?”

Elara tensed, but kept her voice firm and a little light. “Sometimes. She’s been helping me with…some things. You know, to better myself. She’s a good cook. Have you…noticed me improving?”

He chuckled, a sound that was both mocking and affectionate while glancing at the table. “I have. I’m thrilled you’re so invested in giving me good meals and always having them ready when I get home… You’re perfect… Perfect.”

Tapping the book with his index finger, Elara held her breath, keeping the ice on her tingling cheek. “You and your big dreams. Patrisia has a brother you used to date, right?”

“What?” Her fear skyrocketed at where his mind was going. “No! No, I’ve hardly talked to him—I don’t even know his name,” she laughed. “He’s four years older than her. Patrisia is just always there to support me is all. She’s not particularly close to him, either. We have a little group of girls that gossip together. Discussing how blessed and amazing our lives are.”

“Ah. I see. Just…remember where you belong, Elara,” he said with a look that used to melt her heart. “I’m glad I’m in a spot to help your parents. I don’t want you getting any ideas about leaving me because…I’d worry about them. You know how much I do for you, for your family.”

“I know,” she mumbled, heat shooting up her nose. “I’m grateful.”

Kyle moved closer and kissed the top of her head, his fingers lingering on her shoulder. “Good. Now, go clean yourself up. I’ve got a little present for you before breakfast. We’ll forget this ever happened, okay?”

Elara nodded, rising on her toes to kiss him, despite the pain it caused. “Okay,” she murmured, moving to the bathroom and knowing what it would be—wine…more alcohol.

As she closed the door behind her, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, the bruise already forming on her cheek, despite the ice, and the split in her lip wouldn’t be easy to hide. She’d need to skip a few appointments over the next few days for it to heal enough to cover up with lipstick. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself.

“Elara…”

Abruptly, Elara woke in a cold sweat, her heart racing, her sheets wet. Nyxie’s gentle nudge brought tears to her eyes as she reached up to hold a hand against her small, five-year-old cheek and lip, still feeling the emotional and physical whiplash.

“Sweetie, I can get rid of it…”

No, she mechanically replied, her blurry eyes peering through the darkness to the veiled inquisitor, sitting on the side of her bed. Victor was being tucked into bed by the emperor’s imperial knight. It helps remind me how good our new life is… It’s just a bad dream.

“Despite how real it feels,” Nyxie sighed, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “I can bring one of your maids over to help clean you up before meeting the emperor and fix your bed.”

Elara forced a laugh, swallowing the lump in her throat and rubbing away her wet cheeks. I really am a little girl, wetting her bed… It’s embarrassing. You’ve been so kind to me. Thank you. Umm. Was…Victor okay? Did anything happen while I wasn’t fully lucid?

Nyxie took a moment to respond as a mind controlled maid entered the room, looking totally normal while silently moving to support her. The deceptively young inquisitor’s tone wore a frown.

“Your brother has his own method of handling things…a structured way. I am still a tad unsure by your insistence on him not learning you’ve retained your memories. Maybe I just haven’t learned enough about your full life and culture to understand it yet since I don’t come from your planet of Earth or this one.”

Letting the maid help her out of bed and her soiled nightgown, Elara sighed, thankful for Nyxie’s gentle approach and mental support to keep her mind clear.

Knowing won’t help anything now. We have wonderful parents, and he doesn’t need to know how bad things got after Dad kicked him out of the house… How we lost everything. He’ll feel guilty he wasn’t there, and Vic always bottled up his emotions.

She walked with the maid downstairs to the basement spa area, not feeling the cold through Nyxie’s manipulations, she was sure. Her young personal maid’s mother soon came inside to fix the bed as Nyxie joined her, quietly walking behind them.

Vic’s not the type to share, she continued, and he has enough weighing him down. Let him think I’m blissful and in a new life I can bloom in…because I can. Still, those experiences have helped to shape who I am, and I don’t want to lose that. Vic was dealing with unimaginable stress through years on the battlefield.

A lump formed in her throat as she looked into each area and talked to soldiers who had served in some of the major battles her brother had been in. She followed the teenage blonde maid into the hallway, her mother coming inside to work on cleaning her soiled bed.

Elara’s breath steadied as she descended the stairs, her thoughts drifting to the horrors Victor had endured. She clutched her small hand in a fist, feeling the echoes of his letters.

I bet you’ve already scanned his memories and seen some of it… Victor didn’t tell me much about where he fought, but I got the details from other soldiers.

Guadalcanal…a green hell. Every rustle, every whisper of the jungle carrying death. He just talked about his troop’s perseverance and jokes his men told, some of which were fairly crude but humorous, she mused, not surprised when the guards on patrol went right past them. I could feel his exhaustion and resolve in each line, despite what he said.

The beaches of Tarawa that ran red with blood and the stench of death. The urban nightmare of Saipan, civilians caught in the crossfire… I could practically hear my brother crying due to the lives he’d unknowingly taken. Peleliu…an island fortress, where every cave was a deadly stronghold. And finally…Okinawa. We heard about the hurricane back home. It must have been…beyond words. It’s where he died…

She paused as they reached the basement spa unhindered, the warm, healing waters awaiting her as they flowed into the channels her grandfather had constructed with phenomenal craftsmanship. It made sense since Nyxie told her he’d been a reincarnate, as well.

Turning to smile up at the black-dressed teenager, Elara couldn’t help the gratitude swelling in her chest. Thank you for sharing with me all the things I asked for. I know Victor will shoulder all the burden of whatever the emperor brought to our family, and I trust my brother. I just need to know how to best support him when the burden grows too much.

Nyxie watched her from a distance, or maybe she didn’t, but Elara was somewhat confident she did have a way to see or she couldn’t move so gracefully—unless she made herself look at that way in other people’s minds! It was a possibility. Magic stones were amazing.

“You are…something else, Elara,” the inquisitor whispered. “Your devotion to your brother is something I wish I had with my own twin…”

Elara slipped into the soothing embrace of the spring, the maid’s hands gentle as they helped her clean up. “Did the emperor treat you well?” Elara asked aloud, her young voice soft.

Nyxie hesitated before answering, moving to sit on a chair and Elara could recognize the fatigue in her movements. “You have a sharper mind and eye… Sharper and more mature than most,” the teen sighed. “It’s too troublesome to manipulate everything after the trouble your father caused me with his sword… The emperor treats me like a daughter, and he believes in my potential to fulfill his dreams.”

Elara paused, reflecting on her own life. “You…want to make him proud. You’re afraid of letting him down. Hmm. I know you might be manipulating me, Nyxie,” she smiled, “but it’s nice to talk to someone who understands me… Someone who will take me seriously, unlike my old world.”

Nyxie’s voice became gentle. “You have a kind heart, Elara… Too kind. That has its merits and its disadvantages. Your drive to be trained just like your brother is commendable, and after we’ve already identified your attunement to jade and emeralds. You want to have more power than you did on Earth?”

Puffing up her chest and sinking further into the hot, running water, Elara blew a few bubbles into the steaming spring. Taking a moment to sort through her feelings to respond. Rising back up, she started cleaning the places the maid couldn’t or shouldn’t reach in her current mental state—she could wash herself.

“Hmm. I don’t want to be some warrior princess…like Princess Ozma in the Wizard of Oz books. I don’t like to stand out a lot but I also don’t like to be in the background. I want to support the strong leader…be indispensable to them. Maybe like…Jellia Jamb’s role in supporting Princess Ozma or maybe Betsy Bobbin or Glinda, the Good Witch of the South! They’re powerful women in their own roles.”

Nyxie folded her hands in her lap, her head tilting to the side while staring at her as if a case study, or, at least, that’s how she felt.

“Resilience, determination, selfless, intelligent, resourceful, and…protective. Yet, you isolate yourself and keep secrets at the expense of your own happiness. Victor isn’t the only one who suppresses their emotions. You focus more on education and support than his more direct methods of coping. Elara the martyr, falling on her own sword.”

Elara strained a smile as she got out, accepting a towel to dry her small body off. “You have a way of insulting and complimenting people…but I’m not missing the point you’re trying to make. Still, I can only be me, and I’m going to do what I must to protect my brother…even from himself. I’m one of the few people who can stop him when he sees red.”

Nyxie rose to her feet, her words returning to the emotionless void Elara was now positive it had been the whole time. “How long can that kindness last, given the terrifying power of the mithril-enhanced celestite your mother used to bring you here?”

Eyebrows furrowing as she accepted her teenage maid’s help in donning a dress to meet the emperor, Elara stared at the reincarnated Silent Inquisitor. “What do you mean by ‘terrifying power’ of the celestite? What didn’t the emperor tell my parents during the meeting?”

“Are you sure you wish to know?” the woman coolly responded. “There is a chance that what I’ve concluded does not come about.”

“Tell me,” Elara insisted as the maid guided her to a chair and table to brush out her wet hair. “I’m the kind of girl that likes all the information.”

A short chuckle shook the teenager’s chest as she stared at her through the impervious veil. “Something you deny the one you cherish the most…but justified for his protection. In any case, what would you say if I informed you that the celestine you had was among the most powerful ones known in even the Imperial Capital’s history.”

Nyxie moved to stand behind her, only half shown in the foggy mirror in the slightly segregated area from the main bathing area. “It is for that reason it pulled two potent twin souls, and that kind of gravitational force doesn’t stop there… Souls of those around you when you died would have been drawn in, as well.”

Elara’s face turned ashen. “You don’t mean… Does that mean Kyle was reincarnated with us?”

Nyxie’s silence was answer enough.

Elara’s vision glazed over, her breath coming in faster as her previous husband, the giant of a man, seemed to loom over her as some faceless horror. Fingernails digging into her palms, she felt them break into her flesh, the pain allowing her to redirect her internal nightmare. She ignored the sting and forced a laugh.

“I see… Well, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, I’ll support my brother, my parents, and Frosthelm. They’ve accepted us, and I owe them everything. Tomorrow, we start our training with Master Musashi… I hope?”

She gave a start as her mind controlled maid forced her hand out of the water to look at the small wound. “Oh!” she said with a surprised smile. “I seem to have hurt my hand… I’ll have to have my mother fix that for me tomorrow…”

Nyxie’s veil shifted slightly with a short sigh. “You feel vexed at your brother for bottling up his emotions and hiding them from you yet refuse to acknowledge the truth about yourself… The selfless, hypocritical little sister you are.”

Elara glanced away, rubbing the cut. “We all have our faults, don’t we? Besides, what are the chances that…he’ll find me in this whole world or we’ll ever cross paths? It’s silly to worry Victor about it. There are far better things to keep focused on.”

“Whatever you say, sweetie… You’re both stronger than you realize, Elara. There is a reason celestine is a mythical-class jewel, especially the magical effects it has on twins. Victor has managed to move beyond his prejudices to be trained by Musashi. Don’t lose that strength… Victor will need your fire.”

Elara smiled, feeling a renewed sense of purpose from their short conversation, despite the darker undertones Nyxie presented. She had a new life, a new family, and she would protect them with everything she had. The past was a part of her, but it would not define her future…and neither would Kyle, in this world or not.