9 Signs Of A Female Narcissist

Female narcissists are known for being emotionally abusive, and the men they deal with will naturally take the worst part of their narcissistic behaviours.

Today, I am going to share some of the most common narcissistic traits and explore the toll they can take on their man, especially regarding the mental health of introverted men.

Firstly...

How are male narcissists different to female narcissists?

There are far more male narcissists that there is female. 

So for that reason, when people talk about about narcissism they immediately think about men. However female narcissists do exist.

Girls are taught to suppress their aggressive and dominant side whilst boys are taught to hide vulnerability and project hyper masculinity.

That is the reason why women don't typically show aggressive narcissism. they hide it in vulnerability and playing as a victim.

1. She creates a volatile atmosphere

One second, you’re her hero and the next, you’re the devil for a minor inconvenience or miscommunication.

This pattern is powerful by conditioning the victim(you) to walk on eggshells and avoid doing anything to prevent another outburst.

The fear, not knowing how she’ll react, and constant manipulation wears you down bit by bit as time goes on.

In this unstable and unpredictable environment, many men who are with female narcissists find ways to “numb out” the pain and fear by things like drinking, smoking, playing video games or if they are married... they will run to their "man cave", how many times you heard about that one?

They do this in order to escape the emotional roller coaster, all while holding onto the belief that their partner is a loving woman with their best interests at heart.

"It is better to live on the corner of a rooftop than to share a castle with a quarrelsome wife"

-Proverbs 25:24

2. She leverages her sexuality to manipulate you

Unfortunately, many female narcissists weaponise their sexuality by rewarding behaviour with sexual activity or withholding it as a way to punish their partners.

Men!

SEX IS NOT A REWARD FOR YOU. 

I REPEAT!!

SEX IS NOT A REWARD FOR YOU.

The main point about narcissists is that they don’t think of or care about the hurt they can cause others, they only care about their own desires with no regard for how their choices can impact others.

3. She doesn’t respect your privacy or your boundaries

Consider the following questions. Does she…

• Constantly read through your texts and social media messages?
• Search through your personal belongings?
• Take items that belong to you without asking?
• Insert herself into matters that have to do with your family or friends?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above, you may be dating a female narcissist. 

This type of woman feels entitled to use you, your friends and family, and your resources without asking and without you offering, and that’s a really big red flag.

4. She doesn’t have much empathy

When she causes someone else pain or discomfort in the pursuit of her own desires and happiness, does she feel any remorse, guilt, or shame?

If not, she may be a female narcissist.

In fact, she may even take her actions a step further.

Her jealousy towards others may even lead her to sabotage people she feels threatened by, by…

• Gossiping,
• Lying,
• Slandering, or
• Spreading rumours…

… all in an effort to knock someone down and to make herself look better.

On the flip side, if someone she cares about needs help, she’ll go ghost.

If the female narcissist doesn’t get any benefit or praise out of a situation, she’ll likely be nowhere to be found.

5. She is frequently angry

A female narcissist can’t handle criticism or threats to her power. 

She’s a master of throwing fits of rage, and just as often, you’ll experience the opposite end of the spectrum with her extreme passive aggressiveness.

Do you think you’re dating a female narcissist? If so, you’ve probably noticed that she…

• Disguises an insult for you or others as a compliment,
• Humiliates you in front of other people, or
• Gives a look, tone, or silence in order to get you back under her control.

The most challenging part is that all of these behaviours are hidden behind her  image of innocence, making you look like the problem and her look like the victim.

sometimes they will go as far a fake crying to make you feel bad and apologise or make it up to her for something you wasn't in the wrong with.

6. She overwhelms you with her controlling tendencies

Do you ever feel like your whole life constantly revolves around her needs or bad moods?

There’s no room for what you desire, what your friends want, or what your family requests. 

It’s all about her, all the time.

The worst part is, you start to comply with her controlling nature after a while so that you can stop experiencing her fits of rage. 

She conditions you into a trap without you even knowing what is happening right in front of your eyes.

7. She refuses to be wrong

When she gets called out or caught in a lie, female narcissists are pros at…

• denying,
• deflecting,
• changing the subject, or
• flipping the situation so that you are at fault.

She’ll do whatever she has to, often talking over you, forcing tears, or disagreeing with you until you’re exhausted into compliance. 

She doesn’t follow logic or listen to reason.

She doesn’t believe that there’s any chance in the universe that she could be on the hook for doing or saying something wrong, and she will do anything in her power to shift the blame to someone or something else.

8. She gaslights you into questioning your experience

Gaslighting is defined as…

“Psychological manipulation that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”

The nature of this kind of abuse is tricky to identify early on. 

Example..

“I only get upset when you _____. Why do you always make me act like this?”

You can see the difficulty in navigating conversations like this, especially when they continue repeatedly over time.

Women who cheat on a man are notorious for doing shit like this.

Instead of them taking responsibility for their wrong doings, they'll say something like...

"What did you expect? You hardly give me attention, it's like you don't even care. If I was important to you, you wouldn't have make me cheat on you"

The mark of a healthy woman and a healthy relationship is one in which both parties can own up to the mistakes they’ve made, work together to find good solutions, move forward, and strive to make the dating experience better for both people.

A female narcissist won’t do that with you. 

She can’t handle being wrong or receiving criticism, and the only way out of that type of situation is for her is to say “That didn’t happen”, even when you both know very well that it did.

9. She Expects Special Treatment

A narcissistic woman feels that she deserves special treatment even when she has done nothing to earn it. 

She demands that people treat her better than others and do special favours for her. Even still, she wouldn’t consider doing the same for others.

Conclusion

When a female in your life has these narcissistic traits, she will negatively impact your self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being.

A female narcissist’s response to your boundaries will tell you all that you need to know.

There will be times when she will blame you for her misery but do not lose sight of the fact that you probably are not to be blamed. Do not accept any accusation when you have done nothing wrong. Do not let her negative attitude get to you and affect you in any way.

When you feel her narcissistic tendency is overwhelming you, do not hesitate to put some distance between you and her. Spend some time away from her to focus on yourself.

A female narcissist is exhausting to be around. Her behaviour can be draining to deal with, and you will always feel stressed and anxious around her.

Till next time.