This ain’t some two-bit shirt, this here is all eight…
Assorted weights and torments.
This week let’s take it back to halcyon days, back when things were super chill. You’d wake up at 10, skateboard down to the arcade, pop a few quarters in the machine, and Zeus would kill your husband while he was at sea.
Is there an academically agreed-upon way to bone? I own 114 books on picking up girls and none of them say what to do when you get one. I own 29 VHS tapes about spicing up your love life, and every last one of them is a secret dildo ad. I once reviewed a guide on 2025-03-28 12:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Some ideas are so good you dare not speak them aloud before filing every possible copyright and trademark. You only get one billion dollar idea in your lifetime, and that’s if you’re lucky. When it comes, you need to be ready to drop everything and devote your whole life to it. Robert J. Gold was ready. He was ready for CyberKnight and the Hand Puppet Commandos.
2025-03-27 12:00:10 +0000 UTC
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David Wynn Miller was once a humble tool and die welder. At some point in the 1970s, a back-alley surgeon removed his kidneys and adrenal glands. This caused his heart to restart, jacked his IQ up to 200, and made him biologically immortal. A few years later, he went through an experience that embittered him against the American legal system. So, what is an undying supergenius who can't pee rig...
2025-03-26 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Zak Koonce! Somewhere between reckless violence, quizzical boredom and a failed Rosetta Stone course, lay DOGFIGHT: Wild Tournament 3! Hop into the fight sedan, now glance at a capoeira poster... you are now wildly overqualified to swing savagely into oblivion with the DOGGZZONE!
2025-03-26 11:59:01 +0000 UTC View PostWe're headin' down to Riverdale. Gonna have a good time for a little bit. We got some things to figure out, but we're gonna ask Archie 'cause you don't know shit!
With Zak Koonce!
The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Zak Koonce! Somewhere between reckless violence, quizzical boredom and a failed Rosetta Stone course, lay DOGFIGHT: Wild Tournament 3! Hop into the fight sedan, now glance at a capoeira poster... you are now wildly overqualified to swing savagely into oblivion with the DOGGZZONE!
2025-03-26 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Our burning fortunes, forests, and futures? My perfect stage. There’s endless madmen to hunt for sport, and no hint of consequences. I couldn’t spam slander like this in print. That’s how duels started and quickly ended. To say nothing of management– plenty of jesters jingled through beheadings. Then there’s the future, where trolling gets your city turned to...
2025-03-25 12:00:16 +0000 UTC View Post
You know who I really trust? The Hawk Tuah girl, AKA Hailey Welch. She went on Bill Maher's podcast at some point shortly after her viral fame while she was still deciding how to make money off of being a meme, and he suggested she become a "relationship coach." Spit on that thang was such world-changing advice she hooked up with a shady AI app maker and, billing herself as a "Gen Z relationshi...
2025-03-24 12:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostIt’s a BIGFEETS monday, so I’m going to do a quick roundup of what we’ve got going on merchwise.
NEW MERCH TIME! Starting off with our newest arrival, Sgt. Bigfeet’s Lonely AIMS Team Band. It’s beautiful. We have it in women’s cut:
2025-03-24 11:59:01 +0000 UTC
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Remember the Rogue Team? Sure, we all do... well, except for the AIMS team up until recently. Thrill as a blubbery gang of hardboiled eggs chase a phantom sasquatch death squad around time's flat circle! Check your GPS, we're going on a trip. Destination: MOUNTAIN MONSTERS!
2025-03-24 11:58:18 +0000 UTC View PostRemember the Rogue Team? Sure, we all do... well, except for the AIMS team up until recently. Thrill as a blubbery gang of hardboiled eggs chase a phantom sasquatch death squad around time's flat circle! Check your GPS, we're going on a trip. Destination: MOUNTAIN MONSTERS!
2025-03-24 11:57:00 +0000 UTC View PostFeaturing the hit single “Wild Bill in the Tree with Chainsaws.”
NEW MERCH TIME! This week we have one hell of an image to show you. You need to click through to see this thing in all of its glory, these little preview images don’t do it justice.
You can get an idea, sure, but t...
2025-03-22 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Thugs approach you with all manner of street weapons, the weapons of the street! Pipes, shards of glass, unshapen rocks, none, flamberge! Quickly! Read this!
It's Weapons of the Street, 1984's toughest guide to dick crushing. Like hundreds of 2025-03-21 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Alright let’s get started. But not at the start though, this is one where we’re gonna start in the middle and then kinda flash back to the actual start and then work our way back to where we started (the middle). We’ll probably still end at the end though. Anyway here is our cold open:
2025-03-20 12:00:11 +0000 UTC
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Gather around children, for the fire is warm upon the hearth and my grandfatherly voice is just the right amount of gin-soaked. It smells of old leather, even though there is none in the room. And, if you’ll all just close your precious peepers and shut up for five minutes For The Love of God, I’ll tell you a story - one sure to entertain the whole family in their home theatre. See?
<...
2025-03-19 12:00:15 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Michael Swaim for a fan favorite, (and by fan we mean Robert and by favorite we mean excuse to record a podcast.) That's right, it's another episode of BLADESMEN! Ocean Edition Volume: Guh? We find our hero's right where we left off... having done something, somewhere and at some point in time! No time for lukewarm adventure? Skip to the end for the darkest of PxRNHUB's most nefarious categories!<...
2025-03-19 11:59:01 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Michael Swaim for another round of C.G.H.W.M.A. Spoilers: No one wins!
2025-03-19 11:58:00 +0000 UTC View PostThe DOGGZZONE welcomes back Michael Swaim for a fan favorite, (and by fan we mean Robert and by favorite we mean excuse to record a podcast.) That's right, it's another episode of BLADESMEN! Ocean Edition Volume: Guh? We find our hero's right where we left off... having done something, somewhere and at some point in time! No time for lukewarm adventure? Skip to the end for the darkest of PxRNHUB's most nefario...
2025-03-19 11:57:01 +0000 UTC View PostFucking Day: How to Become a Sensuous Witch
I Made Drinks!
By Dennard Dayle
Are hungry and horny the same thing? Obviously not, but you can swing a B asking. Or B+ with a backup gimmick.
Respect.
Why not add magick to food play? It doesn’t have to exist to change the world. Adding magick to shame sinks empires. Imagine tying it to affair...
2025-03-18 12:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Quick, sit down. We don't have much time. They're going to let me talk about Doctor Odyssey. Everyone in my life has been listening to me talk non-stop about Doctor Odyssey since September 26, 2024, and I'm finally ready to share it with the world. Where to even begin. Doctor Odyssey is about a doctor on an odyssey, but the ship he's on is called The Odyssey...
2025-03-17 12:00:14 +0000 UTC View PostPlease ensure you have adequate receptacles for cute puns and hunky buns.
Look at those little guys, just having the time of their lives.
These came out a few weeks ago, but I’m not sure everyone saw them the first time. I haven’t seen a single mention of it in Milan yet, but you ...
2025-03-15 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
One of the inadequate ways we describe our hot dog site is "we create joy by excavating the debris of a broken world." That's not what we're doing today. This isn't one of those times where I find a wonderful catastrophe, where an artist's ambitions and talents disagree hilariously. This is heartache translated into madness. Today I excavated only tragedy. Let's talk about 2004's Miss Cast ...
2025-03-14 12:00:17 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we commute to work by joining hands and feet to become a human wheel.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where diarrhea in a Bob’s ...
2025-03-13 12:00:16 +0000 UTC View Post
Remember Today's Special, the Canadian TV series that instilled the deep desire to spend a night in a department store in an entire generation? That show featured the expressive puppets of Noreen Young, and as a result we once got to see an adorable mouse learn about the horr...
2025-03-12 12:00:11 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Fryda Wolff
to the DOGGZZONE! We'd like you to take a moment to think about the sex lives of the DOGGZZONE... it's ok, totally consensual. Really think about it. What do you imagine? It's probably very oily, a little funky, VERY hunky... a little chunky?
NO. PREMATURE EJACULATION EVERY TIME. ALL THE TIME. Find out more than you EVER wanted to know about just ho...
The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Fryda Wolff for even MORE frankly uncomfortable sexual revelations... it's OK, for once there's a big finish!
2025-03-12 11:58:00 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Fryda Wolff
to the DOGGZZONE! We'd like you to take a moment to think about the sex lives of the DOGGZZONE... it's ok, totally consensual. Really think about it. What do you imagine? It's probably very oily, a little funky, VERY hunky... a little chunky?
NO. PREMATURE EJACULATION EVERY TIME. ALL THE TIME. Find out more than you EVER wanted to kno...
Quality pitch. But the meta’s changed a bit since ‘05, so here’s an update.
Have kids? Hate them? Live near black people? Ibid? We’ve got you.
2025-03-11 12:00:13 +0000 UTC
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In the 1960s, a child could find a flamethrower in his deceased uncle's storage shed and become a superhero. He's Flame Thrower Boy now! Jimmy Heat died when he inherited the title from his uncle, who died way less metaphorically in a terrible fire! That is essentially the origin story of Robby Reed, the child superhero in Dial H For Hero.
Robby fell into a cave where he found a magical...
2025-03-10 12:00:16 +0000 UTC View Post