In 1981, a man with a suspicious amount of dead cats published the humor and comedy book 101 Uses for a Dead Cat. That very same year, that very same fucking year, two Johns rushed out a Rubik's Cube parody of it. It was a toilet fire. If you were to adapt 101 Uses For a Dead Cube into a movie, it would be a six second film about a doctor carving into a corpse and saying, "Thi...
2023-11-03 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome, đźŚs, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we team-costumed as a centaur for Halloween. We’ll let you guess which one was the horse parts and why.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where a romantic d...
2023-11-02 13:57:44 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby knows the secrets to staying young: It's unhinged madness and the band Korn! Can Brockway and guest, Jason Pargin, find both? Fucking fuck yeah they can!
2023-11-01 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Jason Pargin's new book is available now! It's called Zoey is Too Drunk for this Dystopia and you can buy it! Here! But even more urgently, he's on this week's Dogg Zzone 9000 to talk about absolutely silly shit. Not...
2023-11-01 12:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
UPDATE 10/31 1:30PM: By usin' us a goat and beloved friend, we lured out more entries what had been forgotten by science.
You killed it. The prompt, not Bigfoot.
What makes a good sasquatch trap? We have no idea. 2023-10-31 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
I’ve always felt the problem with clothing is that it’s a real, tangible product I can purchase and not a ghostly apparition floating over the general area of my body. I want ghost clothes. Luckily, digital fashion companies were briefly in style when we were all excited about the Metaverse, and a few are still hanging in there, so for only ninety dollars, (a picture of) you too can look like you’...
2023-10-30 12:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
As the fall of Puppet Week encircles us, our only choice left is to die well. To take as many of them with us. But first... the year was 1939, and the world was at war. One of America's biggest celebrities was a ventriloquist doll and it was the lead in a feature film about a puppeteer swindler betraying a circus to destroy a marriage. I'm not kidding. If I was kidding I'd have said, "If your only frien...
2023-10-27 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s the 1980s. You want to make movies but you don’t have the budget, cast, location, or talent. There’s only one avenue left for you: Drug education. You could really feel the frustrated creative mind behind every afterschool special that needed 47 minutes and an alien costume just to tell kids not to die behind a dumpster. These directors wanted to be more than this, they didn’t deserve to be...
2023-10-26 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostCAUTION: DO NOT LISTEN TO THE BONUS PODCAST BEFORE THE MAIN PODCAST.
CAUTION: DO NOT LISTEN TO THE BONUS PODCAST.
...with Lydia Bugg and Dennard Dayle!
2023-10-25 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
You are directly in the middle of Puppet Week and it rules! You have been trained to expect punishment and terror, and you’ve received only orgasmic Tim Curry faces and orgasmic puppet jumpkicks. 2023-10-25 12:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
I jumped into puppet week research looking for a premium nightmare, and failed. Thunderbolt Fantasy flipped over my weak cynic blows, tossed a sword into the air, kicked me in the dick, inexplicably ended the episode there, and then caught the sword. All that was a karate illusion: in reality, I’d watched three seasons in two days. Creating an opening to kick me in the dick.
2023-10-24 12:00:04 +0000 UTC
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As we all know, Muppets are the only acceptable puppets. They are our soft friends who are genuinely funny and would never touch us with their weird little felt hands without our permission. That’s right, I don’t want to get felt up by a Muppet, waka waka! (Note to editor: if you cut this joke I will quit the website on principle). When a human enters the world of The Muppets, they typicall...
2023-10-23 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Beneath our world lies another-- one of forbidden ecstasy. A world where pleasure and pain combine in a ritual too mysterious to understand. The souls lost to it call it by one word: "spanking." It was spoken of only in orgasmic yelps from shadows until 2010 when one courageous author revealed its secrets. Prepare your soul, and your tender parts for... HOT CROSSED BUNS: A BEGINNER'S GUID...
2023-10-20 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Well met, my precious hotdog flavored readers! Call me a chocolate starfish, because I'm about to make your biscuit limp.
"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Yes, in a radical and unforeseen pivot, I've Swaimaranged you yet again by promising to discuss nothing but sex and then slapping ...
2023-10-19 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostIt's what you all asked for: Even more information about the making of The President Goes to Heaven and the maniac who filmed it! It's a wild story full of FBI stings, Republican congressman, kidnapping, high speed chases, anti-semitism, under age girls, and always poop, poop, POOP!
2023-10-18 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
This week we’re joined by our own Jamie Kelly, the lady who makes us sound good and Bigfeets sound better, to discuss The President Goes to Heaven, a 2011… movie? Manifesto? A 2011 request for medical intervention by a mysterious maniac named cTom. It’s the story of a president who is bad and does a coma, but really...
2023-10-18 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
God loves sequels.
And Eric Ludy still needs you to know he fucks. Jesus watches, so Eric puts on a show. An exclusive one, unlike the free streams of the unsaved. Keep your crowds: Eric’s subscriber tips in salvation. Leslie has the same thoughts, but in complete sentences. And after Eric’s wretched prose experiments.
Meet Mr. Smith is their third worst book. ...
2023-10-17 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
At the intersection of magic and dance, there lies a single man who refers to himself as the Dance Jedi, even though Disney has forcefully asked him to stop doing that so many times. Adrian “Lobo” Miramontes refers to himself as a “movement mystic, movement artist, and healing facilitator, in addition to the Jedi dancer. I recently enrolled in his online class Pop & Unlock The Pow...
2023-10-16 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
There are points on a man that, if poked, kill. There are energies that, if harnessed, turn any dainty kitty cat slap into a murder weapon. You are about to learn the secrets of Dim-Mak, a technique known only to ancient tai chi warriors, any acupuncture hobbyist, and everyone who saw the international smash hit Bloodsport. We're watching Secrets of Dim-Mak: An Instructional Video with...
2023-10-13 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
As they say in Mortal Kombat, welcome back to the stage of history! By now you’ve probably already purchased Mortal Kombat 1 and have spent hours enjoying sharp gameplay and a continued inexplicable use of the letter “k” instead of “c” as a branding exercise. Also, Mortal Kombat 1 is actually Mortal Kombat 12 because it reboots the series in canon. Also, Mortal Kombat 9 was just called Mortal ...
2023-10-12 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostAre guests Drew Toothpaste and Natalie Dee ready to brave the rough uncharted dreamscape of a terrible witch? Did Seanbaby bring his Witch ATV and Dream Machete? These are questions Brockway demands the answers to with his game, Dreams of the Witch!
Unexplainable creatures haunt every corner of our world, and desserts are no exception. From the bowels of Cumberland County's second most popular ghost tour came an idea: what if monster cake? And from the mouth of basic cable's fourth most popular cake show came an immediate followup idea: what if it fucked? Dear hotdoggers, do you dare look into the face of this erotic terror with u...
2023-10-11 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s this? The opportunity of your afternoon. In monster-hunting tradition, we’re taking an undercooked graphic and working backwards. This is…err…
Sure, a template! Yes. And it’s for a contest! A creative ...
2023-10-10 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
It's hard to make money if you're a simple, hot, intelligent, overly confident woman who's willing to marry an old man and wait for him to die. Wait, sorry, I don't think that actually sounds very hard. Yet somehow, Ginie Polo Sayles made a career out of being the first woman to publicly have the audacity.
She put a dollar sign in her name before Ke$ha. She dedicated her book to Donahue, God, and ...
2023-10-09 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
"I just had to pass some gas," says a man farting out a window. Hi, I'm Seanbaby, and that was an entire Hustler Humor comic.
Hustler Humor was first published in 1978 and ran for an astonishing 41 years. It was mostly single panel cartoons, and it was miserable. It seemed...
2023-10-06 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
That’s right fuckers, ya boy is back, with the all the attitude of a kid in a music video telling their dad Meat Loaf to fuck right off and die please, Dad, could you do that for me huh?! Regular doggers will recall that my last piece was about pleasuring myself to VR sex games. Well, this one is abo...
2023-10-05 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby takes Brockway for a romantic helicopter ride and kills Dan McQuade's dog, it's a Don Diebel book game!
2023-10-04 12:01:59 +0000 UTC View Post
This week we’re joined by Defector’s Dan McQuade, the Man Who Killed Bill Cosby, to finish the searing Jeff Altman trilogy we didn’t realize we were doing. It began with ...
2023-10-04 12:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s time for the cruelest reality show on airwaves.
No. What kind of cheeseburger garbage is this? American torment technology is decades behind other hells. We’re still stuck on [Dating - Empathy + Computer Host]. That’s barely a half-Saw. Forget our pharma-sponsored hugbox,...
2023-10-03 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
There’s something you get living in the South you just can’t experience anywhere else, and that is the sheer volume of titty-themed chain restaurants. Sure, we’ve got Hooters for the LIBERAL man who wants to bring his favorite waitress little trinkets in the hopes she'll befriend him like a crow. However, we also offer several variations of republican Hooters for the more discerning pervert. There...
2023-10-02 12:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post