exurb1r

Charging Notice and a Miniature Update

Oh hi again.

As mentioned in the last post a few days ago, if it's quite all right, I'll now set Patreon to work on charging your kind pledges. 

As a little aside, in just 72 hours or since last writing, panic in the UK has gone up rather substantially about coronavirus. In the neck of the woods I've been visiting, items are conspicuously missing from supermarket shelves, and there is a certain...tension in the air. It feels a bit like watching a gas tanker to see if it's goi...

Whattup You Despicable Hominids, It's March and I've Been Productive For Once

Hello pigeons. I hope you’re all doing well. 

No audio version for this one I'm afraid; I'm not in Sofia at the moment and the laptop mic makes everything sound like dragons farting underwater.   

First things first. I’ve had one of those once-a-year ideas recently one gets genuinely all excited about, and abandons everything else, and I think the script kind of works, and I’d like to try making the thing. I won’t say much except that it’s a long poem abou...

I'm Not Dead

Oh hi.

(Audio version of this message attached below for those of you who despise the written word.)

I just thought I might check in because I can, and because it’s been a little while. I’m not dead as yet, and – as per usual these days – sorry for the rather unexplained break in uploading.

It’s snowing in Sofia at the moment and everything is very cozy. The feline is finally sleeping in her allotted feline day bed (picture below).

I mentioned I was trying to...

A Totally Not-Depressing Rant About Getting Older and a Thank You

Hello sea cucumbers. 

(No audio accompaniment with this one, I’m afraid – I’ve been fighting with my laptop mic for an hour now and it’s being a total dick.)

If you’re somewhere that takes Christmas seriously, have you been having a nice one? My family aren’t very religious, but we sure are Christmasists. Stocking presents are to be opened in the morning in dressing gowns, followed by an excessive lunch, followed by watching the queen’s speech...

The Shape of Failure

Hello dugongs,

This is going to be one of those, Where the fuck I’ve been messages.

(There's an audio version of this message also for those who prefer to listen. Apologies for poor quality, I'm away from home at the moment. It can be found here: https://soundcloud.com/exurbia-1/the-shape-of-failure/s-dm1cC )

First off I’m obviously not going to be accepting you...

Fuss the Cats, Enjoy Your Ignorance, Cut Your Hair

Hello marmosets,

How are things going in your forward light cone? Fantastically I hope. 

I'm currently sat in a coffee shop eavesdropping on a conversation between two very, very businessy-type people talking about how they taught their staff mindfulness and meditation to get them to work longer hours of overtime for free. Somewhere, Buddha is way pissed.

So. If it’s all right with you, I’ll be accepting your kind patronage this month. I have a rough idea of what I ...

Eulogy for David Berman

My greatest living hero killed himself several days ago, so I'm going to break the tradition of the monthly random updates and tell you a bit about him if you have a few minutes.

When I was in my teens there were these file sharing clients called Bearshare and Limewire, etc. One day I accidentally downloaded a track called Blue Arrangements by a band called Silver Jews and thought, What the hell is this. 

A few days later and I chanced on it in my downloads folder an...

On Giving Up Smoking and Taking Up New Projects

 Hello puffins,

*The audio version of this message is attached at the bottom as usual, along with Freya’s regular photo shoot since she has been a medium-to-well-behaved girl. Please note the excessive fluff between the paws. She is very proud of that detail.

How’s it all going? I’m fine, thank you for asking. 

Well, I’m personally just very relieved the last few videos are out and I don’t have to worry about them anymore. I hope...

A Timely What Up, Yo

Hello all,

(There’s an audio version of this attached below as an MP3 for those of you who despise reading. Oh and Freya was well behaved, so there's a cat photo also.) 

You may notice I’ve put nothing out for the last quite some time now. Just between you and me, I’ve been working on three videos, and I’d quite like to release them simultaneously, or very close together anyway. 

I started and abandoned a lot of videos too because they were shit.

I st...

Art is a Symptom of Passion

Hello wallabies, 

 Housekeeping first: If it's quite all right, I will be collecting your patronage this month. I've got the ghost of a script I kind of like and the glimmer of an idea. This one's going to take lots of stock footage and that's generally been what I put your patronage into. Obviously a huge thank you for the support and please skip to the bottom of this post for plenty more fawning and thanking from me. 

 (No audio file for this post, ...

Stuff What's Happening Lately Yeah

  Hello peacocks, 

(I’ve recorded this as an MP3 by way of doing something exciting and novel that isn’t hard drugs or holding one’s breath and standing up real quick. It’s attached below if you can’t be bothered to read stupid squiggle text words.)

You may notice I’ve switched this month’s patronage to per creation again. You know the drill. I’m not sure I’m set to put anything out for May, so I’d prefer not to take your coin. I use your support...

Larry, Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office

 Hello ocelots. 

I hope you’re doing well. 

You may notice I’ve switched Patreon back to monthly and charged you this month. That’s mainly because I’m trying to make a thing this month. As always I won’t be giving any details away, but yes – I hope you dig it.

The new book is coming along all right-ish. I work on it in the mornings with the feline on my lap. Then we stop for lunch, do a spot of cuddling, and continue. 

Exciting times. As...

February's Rant

Hello there you rambunctious corgis.

How have you been? Is the weather nice? Is that a new hat? 

I won’t be taking your patronage this month. The new video has been rather akin to wrestling some kind of giant prehistoric eel, and I’m pretty certain it’ll take another week yet. I’ve put stuff out before it was ‘ready’ a few times in the past, and it was shit and I regretted it for ages. I don’t want this to be shit, so I’m going to work on it...

Oh, So You're Still Silly Enough to Support my Pitiful Excuse for Content

Hello Cosmonauts. What’s new with you?

Below you’ll find the draft version of the paperback cover for the new book, which I’m obviously rather excited about. All being well, it will be out by the time the next video drops. 

The reaction to the last video rather took me by surprise. The entire time I was making it I was quietly thinking, “No one’s going to give a shit about this.” I subsequently received emails after it uploaded proving quite to the contrary. In an...

A Festive What Up

 Good afternoon you festive geese,

If you celebrate Christmas how was it? A veritable blast? Certainly was on my side. I got one of these. 

It’s called a ‘venova’. Yamaha essentially reduced a saxophone down to an itty bitty size via some kind of shink-ray. I’ve never played woodwind before. I’ve been practicing a lot since. Mainly just before sunrise. My neighbours are really happy about...

Non-Committal November Update

Hello you tawdry jackals. 

So. I’m not going to accept your kind patronage for December. There’s too much to do that I’ve left undone. The audiobook of The Fifth Science has all been recorded in a studio, but I need to do the editing myself and it’s going to be quite a fucker. The paperback is almost ready too, but again: it needs sorting and everything has to be assembled digitally after that. There are 101 other things to sort when it comes to writing and what not also. So I hop...

The Standard Monthly Rant and Cat Picture

 Hello lemurs.   

 Hope you're well, and hope you enjoyed the new video too.   

 It's been quite the month. While running a little while ago I came down too hard in a pothole and noticed my back didn't work. In fact it was a slipped disk and I've now reverted to hobbling everywhere with an umbrella, like a shit Doctor Who. Perhaps you've experienced the joy of this too. It's a blast. 

 I've never given any consideration to...

Book(s)

Hello you despicable seahorses.

Just going through my emails from you chaps, and noticing that some of you are asking after the last few books. I said I'd give them out for no monies to those of you mad enough to support my stuff, and don't intend to go back on that. 

However. To make this a bit easier for everyone, I've attached them all below in mobi, epub, and PDF format. (If you're reading this as an email, you'll probably have to check out the posted version of this message on ...

From a Chair in the Sky

 All right you little chicken teriyaki six inch subs with extra chilies - how's it all going?

I'm currently writing this in a chair in the sky. 

Which is, you know. Neat.

Perhaps you're aware this isn't exactly my favourite method of travel. 

I have something of a routine these days while flying:

IF not sober THEN everything will be fine. 

IF sober (and given that it's 7 in the fucking morning, I certainly am) THEN grab the seat during takeoff ...

Oh Sweet Jesus, the Book is Finally Out

What’s cooking, you bunch of entropic carbon units. 

It is with great, great pleasure that I can tell you the new book is finished and I still haven’t had that stroke yet. And, better still: the thing should be attached to this message for download, (the book, not the stroke) in mobi, epub, and PDF format. If you need another one – something exotic and technical – just let me know and I’ll see what I can do. 

It has been a….difficult month. I assumed the proofreadin...

Köszönöm, Peacocks

Hello peacocks. I hope you’re all doing excellently. 

Right, first things first: I’m totally going to accept your kind patronage this month if it’s quite all right with you. The book is getting the finishing touches and the new video is almost ready. Whatever happens, they’ll both be out this month, finally.

Without spoiling anything for the new video, I will say it led me down a rabbit hole into the world of languages. One that particularly got me was Hun...

Whattup Antelopes (an update)

Hello antelopes, how are you doing? 

Firstly, I hope you liked the new video. I’ve seen a fair few comments pointing out that just because stuff is automatic in the brain doesn’t mean the whole thing is. I have to concede they’re right. I don’t want to get into a big old metaphysical argument here, but god damn it’s tricky to talk about consciousness without knowing what the hell it is. Apologies if I missed the mark. There’s always a very special feeling when you’re watchin...

Adventure Mode

 Hola cosmonauts. 

 What's new with you? Anyone learning the accordion?   

 It's been something of an interesting month. We're into full Bulgarian summer now and our faces are all peeling off like a radiation leak in a sci fi movie.   

 I put out the paperback of The Prince of Milk last month, expecting not much of a reaction really. What I got instead was something akin to when you touch the cooking hob to check it's not ...

Whattup, you little rapscallions

 Hello gang.   

 How's everything proceeding? Are those new shoes? They look marvellous on you, if I may say so.
 I hope you liked the last video. It confirmed what I already knew which is: it's a lot more fun to work on something longform, so I'm just going to do that for the foreseeable future. I'll try for something around 10-15 minutes each month, and start experimenting with some different shit. I hope you're cool with that.
 The last month has...

A Book Update and a Book Update

Hello elephants. 

I hope you're doing well. 

A bit of housekeeping first then. Proof copies of the physical version of The Prince of Milk are on the way to me right now, should be here in a few days. If they look all right, I'll approve everything, and the book will be up on Amazon immediately. In any case, I think the artist did a wonderful job with the cover and I hope you agree when you see it. So that's cool.

Secondly, if you're interested, I'll tell you a bit more ab...

New Stories, an Update, and Some Recommendations

 Hello squirrels. How's it all going?   

 It's been an interesting month. I have a bit of exciting news that might not excite you much. Then I have some movie and book and game recommendations that might actually be exciting.   

 A few weeks ago I woke up with what I thought might be death. It was just flu, fortunately. Not so fortunately this meant days of lying on the sofa being pathetic. As I'm sure you know, what happens after a week or tw...

Thoughts on Your Masterpiece, and a Thank You

Hi giraffes,

As a kid living in a weird English village, I was generally allowed to just wander around all day. (We spent the rest of our time smoking pipes and running from tigers.) One day I ended up in the village library. I hadn't read much back then, and what I had read I barely understood. For whatever reason, that particular day, I walked out with a copy of The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin. It blew my mind: broken realities, warped physics, all that jazz.

I read some more ...

Distinct Lack of Replicants

Knock knock.  

Who's there?  

The new year!  

No thanks, the last one was awful and we've all learned our lessons.    

 Isn't December just delightful? After a year of avoiding various family and friends, you suddenly find yourself partying with them and deciding they're really not so bad. It also got me thinking how bummed Jesus must've been, being born on Christmas and all. Only one set of presents for Christmas AND his birthday! Utterly u...

Here's That Book I Promised

Today is rather special. Instead of banging on about how the book is almost finished, and how I'm looking forward to sending you the book, and how I've been having nightmares about being murdered repeatedly by ebook files, I can just give it to you instead. So I will.

I hope you like it. It's rather different to my previous stuff. Fair warning: there are quite a lot of swears, but I somehow suspect you lot won't care too much about that. Also, I trust I've included everyone in the acknowledgem...

Acknowledgements

Hello you existential puppies. 

Well, I'm putting together the final list of acknowledgements for the book, and it is as follows. If you don't see yourself on there, please just drop me a DM on here (or an email via exurb1achannel@gmail.com) and I'll be only too happy to get you in there. Some of you wanted to be acknowledged as such prestigious nicknames as "Captain Puddingfucker", or "Sir Poopalot" and I'm afraid I may not be able to stretch to such titles of grandeur. 

But s...