beanytuesday

Harry Styles Releases Line of 'Noncommittal' Pronoun Pins, For People Who Don't Like To Label Themselves

This is probably meaner that it needed to be, but whatever. Do people still say "kiting"? Do people know what that is? 

The first pin was originally going to say "I'm not a gender. I'm ME." as a reference to the best loiter squad sketch, but that would actually seem to imply that the wearer is non-binary, which is, unfortunately, a label. 

This is a funny premise, but honestly,...

Patreon Thank You Comic, April 2022

Guide To Horror

Pictured below: A teaser image of Koji Shiraishi’s latest spine-tingler.

I worry I went to far with this one-- too verbose, to many jokes-in-jokes and callbacks, getting lost in the sauce of it all and muddling the whole thing overall. Is this still a clean read? Do these jokes still hit? Sound off in the comments! 

I think it’s pretty cute that Lovecraft’s most fam...

Patreon Thank-You Comic, March 2022

Apologies this one is a little late-- my tablet has been on the fritz

Patreon Thank-You Comic, February 2022

(it's not really him)

Coming soon to your favorite streaming service

Kat: Ummm okay… what just happened?

Fezco: fuck is this… sum kinda fucked up thing…?

Cassie: Guys… *sniff* I think we’re in Gantz

Yeah? Whatever. I live with 3 girls, sue me.

I don’t know if the Brokeback mountain joke reads clearly. I saw the movie for the first time recently, and of course it doesn’t jump to gay sex right away. Jake Gyllenhall’s character is a real jokester, and so in the e...

Bad Enders 2 (complete)

Read it here. No pdf version, unfortunately, due to image sizing issues. 

I'm sorry that it took so long. I hope you'll stay by my side as I continue to grow in my comics journey. 

In The Penal Colony by Franz Kafka (Patreon Thank-You, 01/22)

Patreon Thank-You Comic, December 2021

Remember them?

Trad Twitter

Obviously, everyone in the comic is meant to be viewed as a reactionary moron, but I think the Tradcath guy gets off kinda light here. Really, all we know about him is that he hates Pope Gayis.

Let’s go inside the mind of the creator for a second. Page 1— the joke here is that these reactionary weirdoes are so paranoid that they’ll create these descriptions of reality that are completely ridiculous and untrue. Right? We see this fairly often. So how do we satirize that? How do we ...

Crowd Goes Wild After JPEGMAFIA Debuts Experimental New Hairline

This was originally going to be pitched to The Hard Times, but I figured why should someone with my amount of followers be giving my ideas to less funny places? I can get eyes on it without help. A brief flash of excitement, at any opportunity to get paid to be creative (it's probably a paltry sum, though)

Sorry, another comic that’s going to be pretty much inaccessible for a good chunk of the audience. Go check out the man’s music, if you haven’t already, very cool shit. The joke...

I wish everyone had the same level of solidarity that smokers do

I liked to imagine “Me and Michael” by MGMT playing over that last little panel in the bottom right.

Ah, smokers. What can you say about ‘em? On the one hand, they’ve been duped by one of the most vile and evil marketing campaigns in human history (through no fault of their own, of course) but on the other, I’ve never seen an addict so utterly generous with their choice of poison. I’ve never once seen someone told no after asking to bum a cig. The word ‘bum’ its...

Patreon Thank-You Comic, Novemeber 2021

TMWWWBASATWI: An Illustrated Novella

Hello, party people! 

In case you somehow haven't heard, I've been spending the past several months working on an illustrated novella... and here it finally is!!!

No epub format, unfortunately-- doesn't play nice with the finicky image formatting. Sorry!

Oh, and a quick content warning for brief references to child death. I know some people are very sensitive to that.

Now that this beast has been slain, I can finally get back to working on comics ...

Patreon Thank-You Comic, October 2021

A spooky ghost tour, rendered a little moot now that it's November...

I probably could have delivered that third panel rug-pull a little bit better, with a little more oomph, but whatever. Live and learn. 

My novella is nearing completion! Please bear with me! Your support is greatly appreciated. 

Philosophy Youtube: 2 Sides

Aww, look at that little guy— how could you say no to someone like that? No, really— how would it be possible? Richard Nozick would like to know!

Anyway-- this comic draws on two fairly well known (I think?) philosophical concepts— Nietzche’s Blonde Beast, from the Genealogy of Morality, and Richard Nozick’s utility monster, a thought experiment that attempts to show the flaws in utilitarianism. (I don’t know that it actually does, but… let’s no...

Patreon Thank You Comic for September 2021

Alternate punchlines included; Abel seeing the names of a bunch of pornstars or that list of files that Bin Laden had on his computer. Remember that?

Apologies that there haven't been any comics in this last month. I've been working hard on a new novella-- doing a ton of punch-ups and editing, as well as adding illustrations. Thank you for your patience, everyone. I want to create the best work I can, and make sure I don't become artistically stagnant or put out subpar material, and all...

Patreon Thank-You, August 2021

Love Languages

The first page is laid out quite well, IMO, though the second one is a little cluttered. There are a lot of elements going on that have to be made clearly readable; it might have turned out better if I had a stronger sense of color.

There was an alternate version of the second page that revolved around two archetypical “bro” types expressing the five love languages in archetypical “bro” type ways. That part of the joke was basically leaning into how dumb it was; it wa...

Enviro-Kids Help Save The Ocean

I basically felt like complete shit the entire time I made this, for obvious reasons, and contemplated whether it should even go up at all. I recall hearing various people complain that we are in the midst of a cataclysmic extinction event in slow-motion, and yet the all the art we’re getting is basically just same surface-level bullshit— nothing that really dares to grapple with the current moment, despite the intense psychic grip it seems to hold over the general populace, an event that...

Two Friends Discuss Catholocism (+bonus model sheets)

Chuck Palahnuik's short story Guts opens with the following instruction to the reader:

Take in as much air as you can. This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So listen as fast as you can.

which is an interesting, experimental narrative technique, which not only gives a sense of the story's length, but contributes to the intense feeling of fear and panic that the story attempts to instill in the reader....

Patreon Thank-You July 2021

Tattoo time

Writer's Block

The main thesis of this comic is, if it wasn’t clear, that I am not much of a reader, which might surprise people, given how much I write, or rather, might actually just surprise the people who read my comics, who are, by definition, comic readers, who I feel like are perhaps maybe a group not particularly known for being big readers of literature themselves, and as such my level of kinda-sorta detailed writing only seems impressive by comparison to other comic fare, and actually any normal...

Old Pixar vs New Pixar

As I’ve been reading and writing more over time, I’ve found it necessary to communicate increasingly specific and abstract concepts and emotions— sort of like a painter finding a need to use increasingly more specific colors. (Does that happen? Not much of a painter.) In this case, there’s something about this new crop of distasteful children’s films— not all of them Pixar, I’ll grant you (that ‘Encanto’ movie, which numerous Colombians on twitter hilariously mocked for not ...

I'm in Austin

I'm in Austin.

That's a fun little joke format, isn't it? You get the punchline up front, and get to hold onto it until it comes in handy at the end. I think just leaving it with the minimal information of 'Austin' with no visual or textual description is funnier than if I just sat around rattling off reasons why I'm disgusted, or making visual gags about all the random Austin stereotypes. Leave a little something to the imagination. If you know me, you can probably ...

The Man Who Loved Twinkies (Patreon Thank-You, June 2021)

Alternate Title: A Different Kind of Twinkie Defense

I agonized over different  methods of delivering that punchline, and am still not satisfied. The idea is really funny I think-- your harebrained defense, based on the first half of the subjects name is even more convincingly destroyed if you just look at the second half of their name. I just wasn't sure the best way to combine that reveal with the reveal of the person's reaction. 

Anyone recognize these 3? Hum...

A Cool Walk I Took

A short journal comic of a funny thing that happened to me on a walk. Wasn't really planning on uploading to patreon, originally, but I do think it's pretty funny, so here it is.

Omitted: sentence in the thought bubble in the first panel that would have read "They should've made an anime out of Franken Fran instead of gay ass Chainsawman", for obvious reasons.

The girl was so disgusted. The drawing really doesn't do it justice. 

Progressive Ad Campaigns

I hated drawing this mutated frogs. Google “mutated frogs” if you want to see something stomach turning— far more effective body horror than anything comic or piece of art I’ve ever seen.

For the first joke, I really wanted to show the model in question nude, uncensored, pussy fully out. I really think it would have landed better. Why? Well if you’re familiar with those old American Apparel ads I’m referencing, you’ll know that the craziest part of them wasn’t h...

Thank-You Comic for May 2021

Sorry I has to rush the art on this one a little more than I would have liked, I have a lot going on right now and leave to do a sleep study for ten days starting tomorrow. Enjoy

Allyship Win

Incoming-- lots of hilarious geniuses quote tweeting this post with "this but unironically".

Originally, the acronym was going to spell out something foul like "BOGPUSSY" or "HAGZ" but I figure I really ought to try and reach a little higher than keep returning to the same well of shock/sex humor-- at least not all the time. 

The interesting thing about Boston is that the stereotype of the loud, obnoxious reactionary sports moron is easily the most prevalent in the cultural m...