beanytuesday

White Boy Summer Draft Picks Just Leaked

This was an idea prompted by my friend Spencer. Who’s on your ideal “White Boy Summer” crew?

Not pictured here:

-Two drunk guys wearing Joy Division shirts who get into a fight because each one thinks the other physically stole their shirt somehow

- Barefoot + cutoff jorts guy who actually CAN backflip, and is also really sick with the diabolo. Thinks bare feet is natural and healthy, and that cavemen could outrun dinosaurs easily. Is constantly walking directly over g...

Trying My Hand At Poety

In case you live under a rock, Rupi Kaur is in the twittersphere again for posting this nightmare fuel; there's something so viscerally uncomfortable and awful about it, something ascendant beyond simply "cringiness", some feeling which cannot be fully articulated but best described by the sensation it induces-- as if your skin is trying to pull apart from you flesh and physically walk out of ...

Two Friends Discuss Dogs

Everyone: Pugs are so cute!

Pugs: 

Originally, I went into the research of this comic with the exact hunch of tall friend; humans are so unrelentingly and nonchalantly cruel to animals in so many aspects of life, surely that same attitude extends into the realms of pets, no? Well, as it turns out... not totally! The thing that immediately struck me is how powerful the attachment betwe...

Adding some new tiers to my Patreon! Please read below for more information

Hello!

As you may or may not have noticed, I just added two new Patreon tiers: 5$ and 10$. Now, first and foremost, let me assure people: nothing is being taken away from 2$ patrons, who will still have full access to all content posted on here. Instead, the new tiers just offer more options for people who want to support me, as well as a special shout out every month. Let me explain briefly;

When I first started the Patreon about a year ago, I never really antici...

Marvel Fucks Up

There are two potential problems with this joke, which I won't know the extent of until it hits public eyes. The first one is that the joke just doesn't read clearly, and people will think that the idea is that conservative fans will react negatively to a classic character being non-binary.

On the far other side of things, there is the potential reaction that non-binary will see this and go "Yeah, so? Whats the problem?" There is a trend among certain NBs I've seen around twitter to sel...

Bad Enders Chapter 2 pp 49-54

It's been a minute since the last update, sorry! I've been spread thin across a lot of other things. 

Read the new pages here 

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2021-03-08 00:12:09 +0000 UTC View Post

My New Comic Series

This comic really runs the gamut of BT tropes--  introspection, massive walls of text, overthought commentary on the stupidest of dumb internet minutiae, and sex jokes. 

This comic originated because I though of the "Biden is a reboot of the Obama administration" joke, and thought it was sorta funny but not really, which got me thinking of other gaming jokes, which made me think of the CD Projekt Red joke, which I did think was very funny, and then I started thinking ...

Cute Monkey Videos

Argh, that last panel really bothers me-- I spent so much time trying to get the perspective right, but it still looks weird. Whatever. Spent a ton of time getting the minutiae of the wording right on the video titles too, wanting to make sure that words weren't overused, comedic patterns are clearly readable, while making sure that blame is cast on the human in question, not the monkey, for what entails.

Originally, I didn't intend to have the last panel be so sad, but as I was thumbna...

Powerpoint Comedy at Bummer City Open Mic (Starts at 1hr13m)

Hey! In case you missed it, yesterday I did a little bit of not-quite-stand-up, not-quite-comic comedy at a local Boston artist's open mic that invited me as the featured act. It was a blast getting to try out something new, even though my nerves meant the delivery wasn't the smoothest. It's about 25 minutes long, and starts around the 1 hour 13 minute mark in the embedded video (although you can also stick around and watch the other people do their thing, as well)

It's chock full of fu...

Animal Crackers

This is very much a throwback to the older, shittier-drawn, less wordy style of comic, but I still think the concept is pretty good. Perhaps I need to refine my ultra-cartoony style, though...

I was a zoology and philosophy double major in college. Taking philosophy definitely helped improve my writing and critical thinking skills, and taking zoology improved literally nothing about my life. I did, however, get to learn and memorize a shitload of bones and muscles and the names of a ton...

Damage Control

I've actually been sitting on this idea for a while, and when the Lincoln Project shit went down, I knew it was the universe telling me it was time. 

One joke I didn't end up using because I couldn't figure out how to maneuver it in was Pilson finding a way to say something like "Look, this isn't put on! I know all the random phrases, even the new ones! Poggers and such" and then being asked by the interviewer why he knows all the words that only teenage boys use.

When deploy...

Every Magic The Gathering Card vs Every Yugioh Card

Bing bang boom. A simple one. I usually try to put more effort into the artwork of the comics these days, but I'm not sure I should've bothered trying to replicate Magic's James Gurney-esque oil painting or Yugioh's bright and catchy airbrushed look. I'm a completely amateur painter, and I think the overly detailed and accuracy-intended look of the art may actually distract from the punch of the joke. Using the same simple artstyle for both cards might heighten the differences and increase th...

Fandom - A Comics Quadrilogy

Here's another comic about twitter. As with most character design projects, I got way mor into it than I needed to for something that would only appear as a one-off gag, so there are some design sketches at the end there. 

There was an interesting little moral question that went into the creation of the second comic-- the main joke is essentially lifted from, well, real life. Someone had retweeted a screencap from a screencap aggregator twitter account ("cringe political posts" I t...

A Comic About Maturity

During quarantine, I’ve felt some stagnation in my ability to be funny, the lack of social interaction meaning a lack of situations necessitating on-the-spot humor. I have, however, had a lot of time to reflect on myself, my life, my fears, and what I believe— I imagine most people have. So, after a lot of unexpected positive reception to previous introspective comics, I offer this.

I think comics that are intimately personal are a good way of creating powerful narratives— packed ...

Ancient Greek YouTube

AnotherYouTube parody, eh? Isn't this all a little... base? Maybe. And yet, I'd like to think that there's at least something a little more interesting about the YouTuber phenomenon, something that cuts a little closer to home about the nature of both us as individual humans and us as a culture-- I think it's a little different than just having Zeus and Heracles walking around a mall and going "whoa, what the heck?" Maybe it's not. Maybe if it's funny, it doesn't really matter. So, is it funn...

The Ultimate Christmas Album

Surprise! My grinchlike dislike for Christmas has yielded two separate anti-Christmas works this December. Huzzah! 

Modern christmas music really is the pits-- you either get:

1) pathetic attempts to remix and remake Christmas classics like Jingle Bells, songs with tunes and rhythm so old and shitty that no amount of synthesizer can save it

2) Cringey attempts by major musicians to create a new modern original hit, people like The Strokes or Foster The People coming out...

Two Friends Discuss Soda Pop

This is a comic that I felt a little less strongly about the longer I worked on it. There's so much bonkers shit about the history of soda that I had to make it double length-- but even still, after all the cramped text, there was little space left to freely riff-- most of the jokes in this comic are just straight retelling of historical fact, which is fine, I guess, but I think I can do better. I think the "Chemistry" two friends comic is the high point, currently. 

Originally, th...

The Remake Genie

This is a fairly old-school style comic-- no dense text bursts, just a sort of comedy-sketch style gag. I think it's just okay. The humor rests almost solely on familiarity with outside material, and even though the art is alright in some parts, there are other where you can clearly tell I just said "fuck it, I don't care." Designing a hulking, bejewled genie is a lot more fun in theory than in practice. The girl, on the other hand, is a sort of genderswapped J Helzer, with some other little ...

WHO KILLED SANTA? (an instant holiday classic)

Below is a brand new short story you can download and read! I won't spoil anything here, but I will say that the genesis of this idea was a conversation about samey, boring Christmas movies for kids; shit called Ted Christmas or like The Christmas Goose about a fat fucking cg goose who has to save Christmas. Even Christmas movies for adults are usually the same shit! Some romcom holiday movie about a dysfunctional family someone's significant other has to meet, some lonely chick wishing for a...

Bad Enders Chapter 2: pp 41-48

If you are a new patron and have no idea what you're looking at, you can read chapter 1 for free right here 

Here are the new pages

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2020-11-26 17:43:00 +0000 UTC View Post

A Comic About Work and Identity

Is this good? Do people like this? Or is it just some hacky "eat-pray-love for failsons" type of thing? Let me know. People seemed to enjoy the other more personal comics I've made, but I still feel like this one isn't as good as the "comic about making meaningful art", which has a stronger core topic and tighter jokes. This one is a little more slice-of-life, and is so lengthy that I found it hard to cram jokes in as thoroughly as in some previous comics. Still, there are some good ones in t...

Breaking News: The Biden Campaign

The Tantalus allusion is my personal favorite part of this-- like a tortured, hungry soul is to food and water, so is this decrepit, power hungry pervert to nubile young flesh. But alas, at the very moment he reaches to touch, she disappears. Just a moment ago, she was as real as you or I. But when desire takes hold, "looking" ceases to suffice, and the young hologram, accordingly, ceases to be "real" in any relevant sense. 

Hmm. Probably no need to wax poetic over a joke about Joe...

Founding Father Jokez

Kate Beaton, eat your heart out.

This is based off a real conversation I had with my friend Spencer, demongrified like myself in the comic above. He suggested that 'The Quaker Oats Guy" was one of the founding fathers, and I filled in the rest. 

Little details-- Alexander Hamilton is of course making that notorious "Lin-Manuel Miranda lip bite" and QAnon is represented by the Street Fighter 3 character Q, who also happens to be an anonymous agent with mysterious ties to a pro...

Food Trends 20 Years Ago vs Food Trends Now

Here's a premise that is perhaps a little bit hacky, and a format that is a little overused, but hey, you gotta make something that has popular appeal every now and again, right? I'm sure if I were more of a visual artist I would be working myself to the bone on some epic Among Us fanart right now. A man's gotta eat! Still, I think this comic is good-- whenever there is a "burst of text" comic like this, I work very hard to make each little one-liner just right. 

Ah, the 9...