Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman has been branded “selfish” after deciding not to bring a child into gestures at everything, sources have revealed.
Avery Mann, 34, has a perfectly good womb, but has opted to leave it empty for reasons known only to everyone with access to the news.
Mann’s uncle, Robert Noot, 70, commented: ...
2025-01-28 11:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic child lining up their toys is doing childhood wrong, joyless autism experts have explained.
Seven-year-old Finley Rice, who gets immense pleasure from arranging his toys by size and colour, has been told to stop it immediately and do something he enjoys a lot less.
Clinical psychologist, Karen Hoyland, 38, said: “Of course Fin...
2025-01-24 11:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman has been accused of “inflexible black-and-white thinking” after insisting on constantly changing her pre-existing conceptions when new information comes to light.
According to loved ones, Lottie Fitzgerald, 32, stubbornly refuses to stick with her initial knee-jerk reactions simply because she’s “found out stuff that’s ...
2025-01-21 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic child has been cured by her family telling her to cut it out, it has been announced.
Mary Walker, 9, who has always displayed autistic traits, was miraculously fixed by her parents insisting that she stop it at once.
Her mother, Karen Walker, 38, said: “We’d heard about ABA, although that seemed a little drastic. ...
2025-01-17 10:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Here at The Daily Tism, we know how hard it can be to get your shit together. That’s why we have absolutely no idea how to help - but we do have these five quotes that are supposed to help you get your important life admin done but definitely won’t.
“It always seems impossible until it’s all done” - Nelson Mandela <...
2025-01-14 11:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Headline by Andrew Hickey, Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic adult has defied defying stereotypes by actually being just like your autistic nephew, it has been rumoured.
Despite being a fully grown woman, Olivia Buckingham, 28, is exactly like seven-year-old Finley Rice in every other way.
Buckingham commented: “I actually sought diagnosis after meeting Finley...
2025-01-10 10:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Headline by Andrew Hickey, Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Autism researcher Simon Baron-Cohen has issued an apology after admitting that he has spent his entire career confusing autistic people with a fictional extraterrestrial humanoid species from the television show, Star Trek.
The mea culpa came after Baron-Cohen published a paper claiming that “people with autism are hi...
2025-01-07 11:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostGet your 2025 diaries out (very carefully, we don’t want to fuck up the first page)! Our first Patreon Live of the year is happening on Sunday 19th January at 6pm GMT!
We’re being joined by The Daily Tism writer and fellow evil autistic, Sarah Amero, to talk about taking those scary first steps towards a career in the arts!
As always, the hangout is open to all paid Patreon subscribers and we’ll be sending out our Zoom link and more info via DM on here the day before the ev...
2025-01-05 10:01:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman accused by a friend of overcompensating has attempted to rectify the situation with a cake reading “sorry for overcompensating.”
Navya Randhawa, 32, who never goes anywhere without a cornucopia of home-baked goods, issued the apology after best friend Sarah Harrow, 35, told her she’s enough on her own.
Randhawa said: ...
2025-01-03 11:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman has been left “bereft” after her safe food suddenly became repulsive for literally no reason, it has been rumoured.
Pippa Durham, 26, was thoroughly enjoying her daily ricotta ravioli when, without any warning, it turned on her mid-bite.
Durham commented: “Bleugh! Pass me a tissue!”
“I don’t understand,...
2024-12-31 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
An autistic woman has expressed horror after discovering that the comprehensive block feature on Bluesky doesn’t work on real life, it has been reported.
Freya Emerson, 33, was initially delighted when blocking ex-colleague Robert Noot, 50, basically wiped him off the face of the Internet. But her delight turned to dismay when the following Thursday,...
2024-12-27 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Elsa Williams, Image Shutterstock
A family is currently embroiled in a blazing row while wearing their matching Christmas pyjamas and looking absolutely ridiculous doing it, according to reports.
The Shure family, from Cheshire, have already started their annual Christmas Day argument and outpouring of resentments - while being kitted out in scarlet jammies patterned with cand...
2024-12-25 11:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
An autistic woman has become a real-estate billionaire after finally charging the moochers who have been living in her head rent-free for years, it has been announced.
Ffiona Maw, 39, had spent the last four decades allowing thousands of tenants to occupy her brain without paying a single bill - but recently decided to charge in line with current marke...
2024-12-24 11:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
An AuDHD woman is so late with last year’s Christmas presents that she can now pass them off as early for this year, sources have revealed.
Pippa Durham, 40, spent hours selecting and wrapping the perfect gifts for loved ones, before promptly forgetting them in a big bag by the front door, which has not moved since last December.
Durham explaine...
2024-12-20 11:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
An autistic woman has expressed frustration after a new acquaintance refused to break the ice by crossing any social boundaries, it has been rumoured.
Ffiona Maw, 31, had been Bluesky mutuals with Jay Chester, 33, for over a month and had hoped to cultivate a friendship, but found herself disappointed by Chester’s refusal to pop the con...
2024-12-17 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostHi all,
Sara here with that ol’ spiky autistic skillset confessing time zones confused the shot out of me and tonight’s premiere is at 6pm GMT, not BST as previously stated! Everyone should now have the Zoom link in their inbox and we look forward to seeing you at yhe (hopefully) correct time tonight!
2024-12-15 13:13:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
An autistic woman has found the key to eternal bliss after finally realising she’s allowed to say “no” whenever the fuck she wants, sources have revealed.
Miya Wilkes, 34, who until recently spent her entire life people pleasing herself into a weeping mess, found her world transformed after it occurred to her that her feelings might matter as muc...
2024-12-13 11:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
An autistic woman’s new love interest has vowed not to treat her like her ex did, promising instead to be a totally different kind of cunt, it has been rumoured.
Sabeen Bhatt, 30, who has been hurt in the past, was initially relieved when new boyfriend Wallace Murray, 35, correctly identified all the ways her ex was a big stupid jerk face. But her r...
2024-12-10 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Envato
Right-wing assholes looking to start beef with autistics as their next culture-war target have no idea how annoying we plan to be, autistics have announced.
In a statement released today, the autistic population explained: “Lol have you ever got a single fact wrong around one of us?”
“You know how much of a pain in the arse we are abo...
2024-12-06 11:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic man recently appointed the latest Father Christmas has announced robust new policies to guarantee the integrity of the naughty-or-nice system.
In a statement released today, the incumbent Santa explained that while making a list and checking it twice might have been enough for his predecessor, no shade, “things are going to b...
2024-12-03 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostTism Team!
As many of you know, we have been beavering away behind the scenes, having teamed up with the phenomenal Turtle Canyon Comedy to create a short web sketch show pilot.
We are releasing the show to the public on Monday 16th December - so what better way to thank you all for your support then screening it a day early on our next Patreon live hangout on Sunday 15th December at 6pm GMT!!
We will screen the sketch show in full and then we w...
2024-12-02 11:46:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Weighted blankets are a bit like being buried under an avalanche, but one that’s somehow too hot and won’t kill you, a study has revealed.
The peer-reviewed paper, released this week confirmed the hypothesis that rather than being a comforting tool against anxiety, weighted blankets are actually the devil’s bedding.
Researcher Dr. Gra...
2024-11-29 11:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic man seeking a life partner enjoys spending quality time inside, getting plenty of stale air and short walks to the fridge, his dating profile has revealed.
Cameron Brereton, 33, has been single for three years, but hopes to meet a likeminded woman who lives an inactive life.
Brereton said: “I’m looking for someone who wants t...
2024-11-26 11:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
Autistics have issued a statement warning neurotypicals about the health and safety risks inherent in stoking open flames for festive nut-roasting purposes.
The statement, released in response to The Christmas Song (1945), advised non-autistic holiday enthusiasts to roast their chestnuts in controlled settings, such as ovens.
It read...
2024-11-22 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic cisgender heterosexual white man in his 40s is still, unfortunately, just a cisgender heterosexual white man in his 40s, it has been confirmed.
Robert Noot, 44, is neurodivergent but according to anonymous sources, still manages to be “a bit of a jagweed.”
The unnamed source explained: “I married Robert because he ke...
2024-11-19 11:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
The number one cause of autistic people quietly losing their shit is the thumbs-up emoji, a study has revealed.
The paper, published this week, concluded that the emoji, which ostensibly serves the purpose of demonstrating that a message has been received, is tonally ambiguous enough to send the entire autistic population into what scienti...
2024-11-15 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman has managed to be so out of date with current trends that she has become trendy again, it has been confirmed.
Ffiona Maw, 37, who has worn the same velvet dresses, mesh tops and chokers since the 1990s, has reportedly expressed surprised at being seen as a style icon, entirely by accident.
Gen Z influenc...
2024-11-12 11:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
A neurotypical audience at a concert has attempted to take credit for the performance by repeatedly self-high-fiving, an autistic woman has reported.
According to Natasha Weaving, 32, the otherwise well-behaved crowd at a local Abba tribute night inexplicably began congratulating themselves for a job well done after every song. ...
2024-11-08 11:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostHi all,
We know.
We've got you. Our next Patreon Live is Sunday 17th November at 6pm BST - unsurprisingly on the topic of autistic self-care, glimmers of hope and looking after each other at this, let's face it, pretty fucked-up time.
As always, the Zoom link will go out to all paid subscribers the day before the event - come as you are, cameras on or off, be as comfy and stimmy as you like, participate as much as you feel comfortable. The most important thing is we're ther...
2024-11-07 08:48:16 +0000 UTC View Post
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic woman with a crush on Some Guy has generously gifted him with a far superior personality crafted entirely from her imagination.
Ellie Mulligan, 28, bestowed completely average bloke Lucas Fletcher, 31, with a winning character befitting of a romantic lead - but has yet to receive so much as a thank-you text.
Mulligan expla...
2024-11-05 11:00:25 +0000 UTC View Post