In 1991, Italy tried to make their own Miami Vice out of spare parts they found in America's '80s. The episodes were 90 minutes long before commercials, the jokes were written for six-year-olds, and every scene that could take place in a strip club did. It was called Detective Extralarge.
Sometimes, I feel like I could be a more effective bully. Generally, I'm pretty good at calling people suckers and chumps, doling out your basic noogies and swirlies, etc. However, as I've entered my 36th year of life, I feel I could do more. My bullying could be more creative, less pedantic, so I found this sick video where Slam Dunk Ernest star and Veronica Mars st...
2025-02-17 13:00:12 +0000 UTC View PostWow, hard to believe it’s been 38 years already. But I want to take you back a bit, back to a very special moment. A simpler time, one where all you needed was a motorcycle, a harpoon gun, and a sick ass tattoo of a hot dog. That’s right, today we are celebrating the Year 2 Dogg Cru.
Own a piece of momentous history2025-02-15 19:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
How thick and veiny is the penis of your god? Hi, we're talking about Dale Partridge's 2023 classic, The Manliness of Christ: How the Masculinity of Jesus Eradicates Effeminate Christianity.
You might know Dale from 2025-02-14 13:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Stop thinking of living in a van as a depressing end result of unchecked capitalism, and start thinking of it as your very own mobile battle center for boning drifters! Seriously, look at the bright side:
You can’t hightail your home to Jacksonville if the cops start looking for a house that matches the description of yours.
A house is way bigger than a twin water...
2025-02-13 13:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m going to be honest, I tried pretty hard not to make this an “Upsetting Day” column. Like any little sniveling weirdo, I hate being identified as such outright, and scuttle away from that appellation like coal workers fled post-WWII Appalachia. I also use big words and really esoteric references to ensure 80% of the HOTDOG audience doesn’t make it past the first paragraph. New paragr...
2025-02-12 13:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Lydia Bugg
to the DOGGZZONE! Remember the 80's? Sure, we all do. The wood paneling, the tape rewinders, Aquanet, pachyderm fetish circuses... ah, the bodacious neon glow of memories from a better time, a hunkier, sexier time where the most Belvidere of misters and the sexiest of elephants called home. Yes, the 80's, renown for it's C-List part time carnies and bir...
The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Lydia Bugg for a love in of BONUS proportions! Fall in love again, and again, and again... and ...again(?)
with, "101 Ways To Say I Love you" another cursed book we'll go ahead and read so you don't have to!
Seanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Lydia Bugg
to the DOGGZZONE! Remember the 80's? Sure, we all do. The wood paneling, the tape rewinders, Aquanet, pachyderm fetish circuses... ah, the bodacious neon glow of memories from a better time, a hunkier, sexier time where the most Belvidere of misters and the sexiest of elephants called home. Yes, the 80's, renown for it's C-List part time ...
I dumped beef and got zero telekinesis out of it. This is horseshit. Who promised godhood for my ability to enjoy restaurants–comics or sepia grifters? Someone’s gonna pay.
Round Three it is.
You don’t see M.I.I. (mental illness per inch) this h...
2025-02-11 13:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m pretty sure that Archie Andrews sold his soul to the devil. Not in one of the gritty Archie comics like Afterlife With Archie, and not like the cute 1960s comic where Betty and Veronica sold their souls to the devil and then chased him back to hell. Which was real, by the way:
<...
I don’t think you quite understand how much I freaking love this.
It is such an incredible work of art. We should replace everything in every museum with a print of this. Until that day, you can at least own your own high quality print of it.
The AIMS team is at it again as they face up against Appalachian Prometheus, The GREAT FIRE APE! Master of fire... or he eats fire, or has like... fire laser powers?? With the AIMS team on the case there's no way of knowing! Join the BIGFEETS boys for this very special episode of Mountain Monsters, brought to you by AA.
2025-02-10 12:58:00 +0000 UTC View PostThe AIMS team is at it again as they face up against Appalachian Prometheus, The GREAT FIRE APE! Master of fire... or he eats fire, or has like... fire laser powers?? With the AIMS team on the case there's no way of knowing! Join the BIGFEETS boys for this very special episode of Mountain Monsters, brought to you by AA.
2025-02-10 12:57:01 +0000 UTC View PostPlease ensure you have adequate receptacles for cute puns and hunky buns.
Are you ready?
WHAAAAT? NO WAY!
Yes way. Boom, women’s style cut shirts available right now in ou...
2025-02-08 19:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
The year was 2017. The author was a fucking idiot.
REAL POLICE GHOST STORIES - TRUE TALES OF THE PARANORMAL AS TOLD BY COPS AND OTHER LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIALS is a collection of a confused liar's worst guesses to the questions "what do cops do?" and "what counts as a story?"<...
2025-02-07 13:00:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome, đźŚs, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we bathe together in a tub shaped like the Cool S.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where all a man needs is a good pair of Wrangle...
2025-02-06 13:00:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Looking back at the '80s it feels like almost random chance as to which films became personality-defining franchises and which have sort of soldiered along without utterly warping the brains of now 40 to 50 year old men. Like, I appreciate the original Ghostbusters. It's a fun movie. But why haven't any of these guys made a movie like The Highlander their whole reason for...
2025-02-05 13:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Brendan McGinley
to the DOGGZZONE! Rejoice comic book nerds for today after MUCH anticipation, we FINALLY discuss the LONG AWAITED comic book series extravaganza that is: LIBERALITY FOR ALL! You lucky sonsabitches thought we wouldn't, nay, COULDN'T bring LIBERALITY FOR ALL to the unwashed masses, but after much hardship, handwringing and hangovers we are proud to ...
Who ordered more L4A?? Was it YOU? No? Must have been Brendan McGinley... we'll make him eat it, and you get to listen!
Seanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Brendan McGinley
to the DOGGZZONE! Rejoice comic book nerds for today after MUCH anticipation, we FINALLY discuss the LONG AWAITED comic book series extravaganza that is: LIBERALITY FOR ALL! You lucky sonsabitches thought we wouldn't, nay, COULDN'T bring LIBERALITY FOR ALL to the unwashed masses, but after much hardship, handwringing and hangovers w...
Is your baby jacked enough?
Sure, you’ll mostly love them either way. But are they the biggest baby in the gym? Or masters of tiny acro-yoga?
2025-02-04 13:00:07 +0000 UTC
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Isabella Rossellini was nominated for an Oscar this year for portraying a nun in the drama Conclave, but what she should have gotten an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Nobel Prize, World Beard and Moustache Championship Award, and Best Local Burger St. Paul for is her short film series, Green Porno. If you exist on the internet, you've probably seen out-of-context clips of Gree...
2025-02-03 13:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Boy, what a year 2025 was, huh?
Oh, what’s that? Ah, I see.
Welcome to February! There were a lot of fires kind of near here, and then there was a fire that was really close by (I helped coordinate animal evacuations!), so it was a busy month. During that time, I know I didn’t always have time to keep up with everything, and I can’t hold you to a hi...
2025-02-02 13:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostHey kid, want to see a video game?
Too bad! I do have some awesome 8-Bit Hot Dogs apparel for you though! Exclamation mark!
First off is the hoodie I’m always talking about. I say this as ...
2025-02-01 19:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
In 2006, an experienced stuntman and martial artist, Mark Hicks, did a screen test for a Nike commercial. His audition got off to a rocky start, but he got the gig! You've maybe seen the commercial he starred in with Jim Kelly and LeBron James. You've definitely seen his audition's rocky start.
2025-01-31 13:00:11 +0000 UTC
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Hey, do you ever feel like you were born in a time of vast potential only to come of age right as all the doors start slamming shut? That’s exactly what it feels like to get in a stranger’s bitchin’ custom van!
IT’S THE 2025 HOT DOG CUSTOM VAN CONTEST!
Things are getting bad out there. But you have options! You can go to therapy. You can join an activist mo...
2025-01-30 13:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post
I actually asked my parents for this garbage. I begged for this shit. And I got it: The worst Mega Man ever made.
As a kid, I considered myself one of the biggest Mega Man fans of all time. This was convenient for me, since I was a child during the time in which this couldn’t be verified ...
2025-01-29 13:00:12 +0000 UTC View PostSeanbaby & Robert Brockway welcome back special guest, Merritt K to the DOGGZZONE! Faith and begorrah! A BloodSport has broken out on the Emerald Isle, and it's heavily underfunded! Join the DOGGZZONE and suffer along to 1998's FATAL DEVIATION, Ireland's first full-length martial arts film starring Jean-Clod Van'Darn and special guest, an utter test of your waning patience!
2025-01-29 12:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
