Kinkradio

~February 2024 AMA~

Thank you for your questions and allowing me to be tired and chaotic lol

~Legend of Zelda: BOTW: Sidon X Listener SFW: Not A Burden~ {Patreon Exclusive}

You might feel ridiculous waiting out here on the off chance that you'll see Sidon, but is it really that ridiculous if he does show up?

Contains: Light Confessions, Comfort, Advice

I really just love the idea of Sidon being absolutely enamored by other people, and just genuinely enjoys seeing them and talking to them and listening to them talk about things that they enjoy. I know there are a lot of people (including me lol) who need to be reminded that you're not a nuisance or a burden or annoying when you talk about the things that excite you. So I hope that this Sidon audio helps anyone who is going through that. Enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

*Rocks landing in water *

Sidon: Waiting for someone?

*soft gasp*

Forgive me, Little Hylian, I didn't mean to frighten you.......

*pause*

"What am I doing here?"

Visiting you........

*pause*

One of my scouts saw you out here, and reported back to me, so I thought a visit would be nice~

*pause*

You seem.....nervous......is everything alright?

*pause*

You weren't expecting me to come?

Then why didn't you simply come to my domain? It's not that far from here.......

*long pause*

Is there.....something that's the matter? You can tell me....I'm not going to be angry with you......

*long pause*

I see......you wanted to see me......but you didn't want to disturb me....because you know that I'm often quite busy......

And yet you came here anyways.....just on the off chance that I might fancy a swim down here?

*sighs fondly*

I might not understand the way that some Hylian's act.....but I want you to know that I would never be angry with you coming to the Zora Domain to see me......

I might not always be able to spend a lot of time, but I will always give you time to at least say 'Hello' Little Hylian......

*pause*

Because I care about you a great deal......and....want to spend time with you as much as you seem to want to spend with me.....

*chuckles*

May I give you a hug?

*pause*

Hylian's seem to like hugs.....especially from me.....Link has mentioned it once that feels like being crushed.....in a good way.....

*pause*

*chuckles*

He signed it to me.......

*pause*

*heaves a happy sigh*

*hushed*

You are not taking up too much of my time, Little Hylian...I swear.....

I know you think of yourself as just some......common folk who doesn't deserve my attention, but you couldn't be more wrong.

*pause*

Who cares what others think? I don't think that you're boring......

You fascinate me......the way that you are.....the things that you do......the life you lead....

I always want to learn more......

*pause*

Spending time with the people that I care about ....it's one of the things that gives me joy in life....

Why don't you tell me about something that's happened recently?

*pause*

It doesn't have to be interesting or funny.....but if it is and you want to tell it.....go ahead~

*long pause*

Why did you stop?

*pause* 

It's......*sigh*......I truly do get sad for you sometimes.....to know that someone told you that your love for things is a nuisance.....

*pause*

You were in the middle of explaining.....and then you suddenly stopped and apologized.....as if you just remembered someone scolding you for it in the past.....

*pause*

I don't think that you understand......the enthusiasm that you have for the things in your life that bring you joy? How could I not love it? How could I not enjoy listening to you talk about things that make you smile? The things that influenced you to become the person that you are?

How could I find spending time with someone like you annoying? How could I think that you're taking up too much of my time?

*pause*

And if you're concerned  about what the other Zora think, you needn't worry. They like you as well.....

*pause*

And if there were those who do think that you're a waste of my time.....I wouldn't listen to them anyways.....

I get to decide how I spend my time, and who I decide to spend my time with.....and I promise you, that I'm not doing this out of some obligation....I do genuinely care for you very much......

*pause*

I know....I've come to realize that your mind is not very nice to you....

And that's ok.....I'll do what I can with the time we have together to help you remember......

*pause*

I'll remind you until you don't have to doubt yourself anymore.....

*pause*

It's not rotten work.....not for me.....

*chuckles*

*pause*

Come now.....let's go for a walk, shall we? Last time we met you were telling me about that book you were reading, did it get better once you read more into it?

*pause*

I promise you....I want to hear all about it......

I would rather live in a world where we as people--no matter who or what we are--allow excitement and passion back in our lives.....too much apathy and outright hostility exist in the world already.......

If being vocal about the things that give us pleasure as creatures the gods have made us is seen as embarrassing nowadays....I would rather be open and embarrassing....than closed off and bitter and angry.......

Other people spend far too much time caring about the actions of others that literally do not affect them in any way......

It's sad really.....that they cannot help but try to put down someone else's happiness.....

It just shows how empty or repressed they are in their own heart.....

*pause*

So please.....don't edit yourself down just to be accepted......I like you just the way that you are.....and would love to get to know that you better.......

*pause*

Hey.....

*lowly*

And I mean whatever that entails......

~The Witcher: Jaskier X Listener SFW: Give Yourself Grace~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Jaskier can tell that things aren't going well for you, and even though he might not be the most tactful or eloquent sometimes....it's nice to know that someone actually understands.

Contains: Mental Health Talk, Advice, Comfort

Is it a bit on the nose that I made one of the first audios this month about executive dysfunction? Maybe? But did I also want to make something that might comfort or help someone who's in the same boat as I? Yes! Even if you aren't someone who struggles with it, I think that what I've made here is a good message for anyone, so I hope that you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Jaskier: What's got your knickers in a twist?

*pause*

Just noticed you've been having a rough time of it lately.....thought asking that way would be better than....well....it didn't work so never mind *clears throat*

*pause*

I'm not going to insult you and ask if you're alright either......because I can tell you're not.....

I just.....notice that you're having a hard time starting things.....and I can tell it's making you...frustrated....to say the least....

*long pause*

Ah.....I see.....I think I understand what you're talking about.....

Let's see......

It's like someone tells you to put the kettle on, but for some reason the kettle is nowhere to be found, so you can't start. And then when you tell the person that you can't put the kettle on because it's nowhere to be found, they look at you like you're an idiot and tell you, "Just put the kettle on!" like it's supposed to help.

*pause*

That's the frustrating thing, isn't it? That there are people who do genuinely want to help you, and they offer advice, but they don't understand what it is that's troubling you. So they give you the same advice that you've heard over and over. "write things down, make lists, be more organized, sleep more, drink water etc." and while yes, those things can help, they aren't going to magically unlock your brain or materialize that kettle into existence are they?

*pause*

And when you tell them that, or that their advice isn't helpful, then you're the bad buy because, 'they were only trying to help'. It's an unfortunately vicious cycle.

And it doesn't help your self worth any. You look around and see people quite easily able to perform what appear to be the simplest tasks.....then you motivate or shame yourself into trying again even though you know deep down it's not going to work.....and when you inevitably fail.....the guilt sends you spiraling.......and then you're back to square one.

The frustrating and draining nature of the cyclical loop we go through is lost on those who think we're just lazy.....

*with scorn*

Or inept.

*pause*

I did say 'we', yes.

*pause*

I have grappled with this feeling many times in my life, yes......and it took me quite a long time to stop blaming myself......

*pause*

What got me to stop? Well......putting myself and my own mental health before the expectations of others.......doing things in my own time frame.....and not pressuring myself to do more than my brain will allow.....because I don't know about you, but forcing yourself to push through it and then having it either turn out poorly or having it not work at al anyways makes it even worse.....

*pause*

*hums*

And I know not everyone has the luxury of just dropping everything and doing it at their own pace, even if it takes four times as long as someone else might take.

*pause*

Don't get that thought stuck in your head. The 'should.'

*pause*

Let me ask you this. Say that there is someone who is incredibly good at running. They can run fast and have a rather easy time doing it. And it's not that they necessarily like to run either.

Say it takes them what, four minutes to run a kilometer?

Then there's you, who is not great at running, and has to actively work to be able to do so, and has lead weights tied to their boots....why then are you expected to run as fast as the other person?

In the eyes of most of society, it 'should' only take four minutes, but they don't see the burdens that you are carrying, and how they affect you. So "should's" from them don't mean a godsdammed thing.

Do you see what I'm saying?

Judging yourself against those who do not have your weights to carry isn't going to help you, it's only going to make yourself feel worse......which in turn will make it even more difficult to start the tasks you need to start. Guilt is not a good motivator in my experience.....so why trap yourself into it?

Take it step by step, day by day at whatever capacity you can manage. And if you are not in a position where you can take as long as you need, see if there are accommodations that can be made for you......

Unfortunately we live in a world where progress is a sign of worth, and it's all utter horse shit.....you are worth just as much as anyone else.....

So my advice....if you're open to it.....is to take it moment by moment. Don't focus on the past and the struggles you had then. Don't agonize over the thought that you haven't changed or gotten better....and don't focus on the deadlines in front of you, or how things might pile up.....unless of course it is your livelihood that depends on it......

I wish it were easier for those who cannot afford to forge their own path......but if you focus on the things that you can do day by day....instead of the huge list of things that might be plaguing you......it just might help.....

Give yourself the grace that you would give another in your situation.......and you might find that things become a little easier to manage....

*pause*

Remember......"should's" are for people who aren't in your shoes....who don't feel the weight that you do.....

Take your time, take it step by step, give yourself grace....and when you finally do take the time to look back...instead of seeing the "should haves or could haves" you can see the progress that you've made......

~February 2024 Bloopers~

Apparently my ability to go from pretending to have hardcore sex to talking normally in .5 seconds is a talent I didn't realize was impressive lol.

~February 2024 NSFW Poll~

Yes, it is time once again to pick the characters for the NSFW audios of this month!

A real quick lowdown on how this works in case you don't know: Go ahead and vote down below on which character you would like to hear SFW audios from this month. While it is multiple choice, only the top two characters with the most votes will win! 

Voting will end Monday February 5th @ 11:59pm PST!

~February 2024 AMA~

Woo, the AMA is back!

For those who are new and/or might now know, AMA stands for "Ask Me Anything", and essentially this is how it works:  Down below in the comments, you can ask me a question (or a few), and at the end of the month, I will record myself answering them, and release an audio for you all to be able to enjoy!

I know sometimes people worry about asking something that's been answered before, but please don't be! I'm more than ok answering something again! So go ahead and leave your questions down below!

~February 2024 Theme: No Theme~

I know it's a little weird and confusing to have the theme be 'No Theme', but I think one of the things that sometimes bogs me down when it comes to the creative process is trying to limit myself to a theme. I think this month with my ne Patreon model it would be great to just kind of do what inspires me, kind of like how I used to do way back when I first started making audios. This is even gonna be a little different than my usual theme takeovers, since I still want you all to have a say! So as usual, you all will be choosing the characters I voice this month!

I hope that this year we can focus more on artistic inspiration and creating art instead of creating 'content'.

~February 2024 SFW Poll~

Yes, it is time once again to pick the characters for the SFW audios of this month!

A real quick lowdown on how this works in case you don't know: Go ahead and vote down below on which character you would like to hear SFW audios from this month. While it is multiple choice, only the top two characters with the most votes will win! 

Voting will end Monday February 5th @ 11:59pm PST!

Update and Reminder~!

Hello everyone and welcome to the last day of January! (I can't believe it lol)

So, first and foremost I wanted to get the reminder out of the way:

For those who are either new this month or didn't get a change to see what's going to be changing about my Patreon:

Starting the first of February, two of the old tiers will be going away! The old $5 tier, as well as the $25 tier.

What does that mean for you as Patrons? It's actually very simple: If you are on the $1 tier, the new $7 tier, and the new $20 tier, you are set and ready to go! If you are currently on the $5 tier or the $25 tier, you will need to change your tier before the end of the day today so that you can have uninterrupted access to my audios!

Tomorrow I will be removing the old $5 and $25 tier, and moving forward with just the $1 the $7 and the $20.

If you are still on the $5 or the $25 tier when I remove them, you will be removed as a Patron and be required to re-sign up for access. Unfortunately, this is the most efficient way to do this changeover, and I apologize for any of the inconvenience!

                                                                  ——————

OK, now that the reminder is over, I just wanted to give you all a little more in depth update on just how I've been doing, if there are those who are interested lol.

So this past year or so has been one of the hardest I've ever had in my life so far. I went through (and am continuing to go through) a lot of mental health struggles, as well as what my Therapist has identified as severe burn out. I had the worst mental health crisis of my life, and for about a year I've been trying to find the medication that works well with me and my life. It's been a really long road, and honestly, that combined with the burn out have been the main reasons as to why I've had such a difficult time getting audios and commissions finished.

Poor mental health, navigating ADHD, and burn out were the main causes as to why I've changed my Patreon model after nearly 5 years of it being the same. With the help of medication and therapy, I think I'm starting to understand where I struggle the most and have been doing my damndest to navigate through that as well as navigate through the burn out. 

So much of your ongoing support has been what's helped me keep going. All of your kindness and understanding patience. I know I thank you all a lot for those things, and I will continue to do so, because it is one of the things that genuinely keeps me going.

One of the hardest things I've found out about myself during this time is that I have incredibly bad Executive Dysfunction. I can plan all day every day about what I need to do, but when it comes to actually executing those tasks, my brain has an very hard time with the inciting action to get those tasks done. It's like there's an invisible wall that's keeping me from doing things I want or need to do, and no amount of pushing though it or planning around it can help sometimes. I could be sitting doing nothing while my brain is screaming at me to get something done, but I physically can't. It is incredibly frustrating and has caused me a lot of grief and guilt. I also learned that I have an incredibly hard time in determining the levels of importance for tasks, by that I mean if I were to look at a list of tasks, I would have a hard time deciding which one I should do first, because to me, they are all equally important and should be done first and immediately. I get task paralysis and that feeds into the Executive Dysfunction. This, in hand with the severe burn out? It's been especially hard to be able to work.

I know for the past few months I keep saying that 'I'm gonna catch up on everything and then everything will be fine'. Now, after thinking and executing this Patreon change, I have come to the realization that I can't do that to myself anymore, because I'm going to burn myself out even more, and cause myself (and have already caused) a lot of mental and emotional damage when inevitably I have that task paralysis or Executive Dysfunction and I can't.

Instead of promising to have things done at a certain time, I have to give myself the time and space to do it as I can while I recover. I know that means waiting longer, and I know that you all have been waiting so so patiently with me, and I understand completely if there are those who don't want to wait anymore. I cannot even tell you all how much I appreciate all that you do for me, even if you don't know what it is you're giving me by allowing me to take my time.

With this change, I've lowered my workload, and given myself time to be able to catch up in a manner that I believe won't be detrimental to my health.  So all in all, I think it's going to be a good thing.

One again I appreciate you all with all the love in my heart I can, especially as I've been going through this rough patch. I'm going to continue to forge on and figure things out, and I also appreciate you allowing me to do so and to realize that I've made mistakes, and I'm going to to my best to fix them while also being kind to myself.

I look forward to the future and thank you so much for coming along for the ride <3  

~Baldur's Gate 3: Astarion X Listener SFW: Community~ {Patreon Exclusive}

You can tell that Astarion has something on his mind, more than usual. What could it be?

Contains: Confessions, Character Analysis, Slight Spoilers for BDG 3 and Astarion's storyline (very slight)

Ah yes, my first time doing Astarion's voice, and boy am I a little angry with my past self. I try not to be hyper critical of myself--you know, the 'Artist is always the most critical of their own works' thing?--and so at the very least, I feel like I got the feeling of Astarion. I might have to tweak it in the future, but regardless, this audio is here! I'm always a sucker for found family tropes, so I wanted to implement that with the theme that this audio was for. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy!

NOTE: This audio was a SFW exclusive from December of last year. Thank you for your patience!

Astarion: *pause*

Nothing……you find it odd, that I—a vampire mind you—am up late during the night time?

*pause*

I’m a vampire and a high elf, Daring….I don’t really need the beauty rest……

*pause*

I said I don’t need it…..not that I don’t want it….

*pause*

Why do I do what? You’re going to have to be more specific……

*pause*

*hums*

I….apologize…..

*pause*

Forgive me…..a….lot…..has been on my mind recently……

*pause*

Well yes, I am fond or brooding off in silence away from the lot of you…..but this is…..different…..

*pause*

I’ve come to a realization that I’m still deciding how I feel over…..

*pause*

Oh if I must…..especially if you’re going to be making puppy dog eyes at me until I do…..

*pause*

Come now, let’s…..go on a stroll….without the others……this is for….your ears only….

*Fade Out*

*Fade in*

There…..I think we’re sufficiently far away enough, now……

*pause*

Give me a moment…..I’m trying to think how I should word this without sounding like a complete—

*sighs*

—idiot…..

Forgive me….just….a moment….if you will….

*long pause*

*sighs*

It’s…….strange……for the longest time….I thought that I had to do this……all on my own……

*pause*

Exist…..in this world……

The only thing that this cursed eternal life has taught me…..is that I was the only one who was going to look out for myself…..that no one else cared…..that I needed to keep them at arms distance because I just knew that in the end, they would leave me……

*pause*

Are you truly interested in the circumstances of my many failed relationships, romantic or no?

*pause*

*huffs a laugh* I thought not…….

*pause*

Or I would fuck things up myself!

*pause*

Just finishing my thought……

Figured it would be more genuine if I admitted ‘twas not only those around me who failed…..

I failed quite a bit……trust me……

So I figured….I could depend on myself…..I could do it all myself…….

*pause*

Then I saw the sunrise for the first time in 200 years…..and even that was filled with the bittersweet notion that this thing, that allowed me to see the sun again, was inevitably going to cause me an even worse fate…….

I was even planning on using you…….abandoning or killing you in the end to achieve my own goals…..finally finally set myself free…..

That was the plan anyways……

*pause*

It changed…..when I got to know you……and….everyone else…..

*sighs*

For most of my life…..I read and heard stories about one singular person defeating the bad guy and becoming a hero…..or one person striking out and making it on their own. All for one instead of ‘one for all’ kind of thing. ….

But it took meeting you…..and the rest of our little ragtag band of merry misfits to realize the truth…..

It is not one ‘sole’ hero who gets things done no matter what the stories say……it’s not the grandest gestures that create opportunity and change…..

It’s the small things…..the everyday ordinary things…….

Befriending a vampire when you really had no reason to……

*pause*

We are—as much as we might not want to be—all in this together…….

It’s community…..that the hero relies on…….ordinary people……

*pause*

And while we by far are not the most ‘ordinary’ group any way you slice it…….you get my sentiment?

You’ve all helped me in realizing that this ‘lone wolf’ persona I’ve created for myself out of…..safety and fear……truly isn’t me…….and I don’t want to be him anymore……..

I want to find the cure for these parasites….and I want to release myself from the bonds of……..him…….and……I want to do it……with you by my side……

You’ve always believed in me…….for some ungodly reason…….even when I’ve treated you like a blood bag……

*pause*

Whatever you saw in me…..and continue to see in me……well….

Thank you…..is all I  can say, I suppose…..thank you for showing me how wrong I was…..

*long pause*

Now don’t be getting a big head since you just heard me say I was wrong…..and if you ever bring it up with any of the other’s I’ll deny it until my last breath….one must keep up appearances, Darling…….

*long pause*

*softly*

I know……hard habits to break…….

But…..thank you…..you….mean quite a bit to me……as do the others…..

A little ragtag family…..that I chose……and that chose me……

*pause*

Thank you……

~Paperbound: A Study in Scarlet by: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Part 5~

The final puzzle pieces of the story come together, and so the first tale of Sherlock Holmes is finished.

Thank you everyone so much for listening and enjoying!

~DEC 2023 AMA/UPDATE~

Note, this is the catch up from last month! Also has some explanation about the changes that are gonna be happening! Thanks everyone!

~Paperbound: A Study in Scarlet: By Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Part 4~

This might not sound connected to the rest of the story, but I promise it is! As this is the first Sherlock Holmes story Doyle published, it's different in style than others later on!

About the New Tiers

Happy New Years Everyone!

Just wanted to pop in real fast and apologize to those of you who have already moved tiers and everything. I just found out that I cannot mass change the tier posts are under, so I'm going to have to go through everything and change it one by one, which is going to take a while. Thank you so much for your patience and that should be done soon, thank you!

End of 2023 Update

Hey everyone, I just wanted to make another update to let you know how the end of the year is going and what to expect for 2024!

So, earlier in the month I put up a poll talking about dropping some of the auxiliary content that I've made before to help me be able to focus on making audios, and from what I gathered, most of you all agree that that is the right way to go, so I will be dropping the Let's Plays as well as the Audio Book readings. There might still be the odd occasion where I create those things, but they will not be part of rewards and will be available for everyone.

Because of that, the tiers are going to be changing starting Today/January 1st:

$1—Intro Tier: Not much would be changing here. You still get access to high quality downloads of all of my publicly released content past and future, as well as access to asking questions and the audio for the AMA. This also comes with Discord server access if you would like it.

$7—SFW Tier: This will be combining the SFW exclusive tier and the Bloopers tiers into one, raising the price slightly, but keeping it under $10 so it's more accessible to people with a lower budget.

$20—NSFW Tier: Yes, this tier will become a little bit cheaper! I've always been nervous about the potential of losing money on charging less, but since I'll be creating less benefits all together, I can focus more on these audios, and this also makes it slightly more affordable for people all around!

What does that mean for you, the Patrons?:

I will be changing up the tier system, and removing at least one tier. Unfortunately, Patreon does not allow for changing the price of a tier if patrons are subscribed to that tier (dumb), so if you would like to remain subscribed to me as a patron, you will unfortunately have to subscribe to the new tier. I will be implementing these changes today, so if you would like to adjust to the new tier, you will be allowed to. If you are on the $25 tier and shift to the $20 tier, you will not be charged until your next pay date. (ex: if you subscribed to my Patreon the 15th of December 2023, and changed your tier today to the $20 tier, you will not be charged until the 15th of January 2024).

Unfortunately, for those who are on the $5 tier, you will be charged the extra $2 immediately, and your payment date will change.

I will be giving you all time to be able to change over for the month of January, and hopefully by the end of the month, everyone will be changed over, and we can move into February with the new tier system fully integrated.

Now, as for  the audios. I wanted to get caught up with all of my previous rewards by the end of this year, but unfortunately, I'm still fighting the end of a bout with COVID, and it's affected my voice to the point where you can still hear it when I try to record. So, I've decided that January 2024 is going to be a catch up month for myself, so that I can, as suggested, get caught up with everything, including commissions. That means I will not be creating 'new' content for January 2024, but there will be content posted! Thank you everyone for understanding on that front.

I know this is a big change and it's going to be a bit of a hassle, but I appreciate your continued support, and ask for your patience and understanding as things get changed over and I get caught up with things. I'm on the mend with COVID, so hopefully I should be back to recording soon.

If you have any questions or concerns, please either comment on this post, or send me a message and I will do my best to answer! Thank you all so much and I hope you all have a Happy New Year!

Update: I'm sick~

Hey everyone, sorry to say, but unfortunately, I've been struck with Covid. It's not a severe case, but it's definitely taken me out of commission, and I'm only on day 2. I know I said I wanted to get all of my overdue stuff done this month and start fresh in the new year, just don't know if that's possible considering I don't know the timeline of how long I'm going to be sick. Just wanted to let you all know that I am OK, just need to rest right now and get over this. Thank you in advance for your well wishes 💚💚💚

~K PLAYS: God of War (IV): Episode 10: ALL IS REVEALED~

The length at which I was keeping spoilers in because of what I know of Norse mythology lol.  

But thank you all so so so much for coming on this journey with me! I'm so happy to have finished another game. Thank you for watching!

~Pokémon Sun & Moon: Guzma X Listener SFW: Be Yourself~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Guzma has some very strong feelings about where certain people can stick their opinions

Contains: Encouragement, Comfort, Advice

Honestly, this script came so quickly to me that it was almost funny. I just cracked it out seriously in like ten minutes, and I think part of it is because I'm very passionate about the subject about people being weird and unique and not conforming to societies ideas of 'normal', because 'normal' doesn't fucking exist. I hope that this comforts you and reinforces the idea about who you are is exactly who you're supposed to be!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Guzma: Look, I know you may not wanna hear it…..but at this point….it begs to be said….

Fuck those people who have ever made you feel lesser just because you are or were ‘different’……

This are the type of people who are so goddamn insecure of themselves or so full of themselves that they can’t even begin to consider why someone would want to be anything more than ‘Normal’.

And to risk sounding like an old joke that’s been beaten to death—Normal is overrated, and it ain’t fucking real in the first place. There’s no such real thing as ‘normal’.

The person who you are—at any given moment in your life—is normal. Humanity ain’t supposed to be black and white cookie cutter shit……

Think about it….think about how absolutely fucking boring life would be if everyone on the planet subscribed to their societies version of ‘normal’….

*pause*

And I know…..life is fucking hard as it is without feeling like you’re being ostracized just for existing, but the thing is, if you try to conform…..it’s just gonna suck the soul outta you……sure, people might not make fun of you anymore……but you won’t be you……

Every ‘weird’ thing about you makes you….you…..

So what if people think you’re weird or you’re ‘cringey’……at least you took the time to experiment and try things out and find out what works for you and what doesn’t rather than just look at the status quo and go, ‘welp, that it is, I guess.’

I would bet money that you know yourself better than any regular Joe Schmoe out on the street knows himself, because you’ve taken the time to really sit down and figure out what makes you happy.

If being the way that you are makes you happy when you’re not being scrutinized by people who are brainwashed into conformity or who are jealous of your happiness and freedom…..then why the fuck should it matter what those people say?

*pause*

And if someone is being shitty to you right to your face or behind your back and I hear it? You best believe they’re gonna get a fucking talking to or a knuckle sandwich……

*pause*

Because I care about you a whole lot…..and the idea of seeing your unique spark of life snuffed out by some fucking Normies pisses me the fuck off!

You ain’t hurting or inconveniencing anyone just by being who you are…..so fuck the people who say otherwise.

I’m not gonna say you’re perfect just the way you are….because that puts up an impossible standard…..because nobody is perfect. We’re just trying to make it through this merry go round called ‘life’……and you don’t need to water yourself down just to make yourself more ‘palatable’ to others……

Who you are is exactly who you should be. And if someone chokes because they can’t swallow it? Well…..let ‘em choke……that’s on them…..

You are amazing…..so keep going……just as you are…….

~December 2023 Theme: Penguin~

And the theme has been chosen! It's Penguin time, bay-bee~

This animal is an ideal representative of positive change and adaptability. While their ancient ancestors might have flown, these animals have evolved flipper like wings perfectly suited for their environment. In this way, people have taken the penguin as a sign that being different isn't a bad thing. Penguins are also famous for their faithfulness and devotion. These birds believe in the idea of a one true soulmate, but are also all about community when it comes to others.

Also, here are the winners of the polls for this month!

SFW:
Astarion (BG3)

NSFW:
Raihan
Bucky

Thank you all so much for voting!

Photo by Martin Wettstein on Unsplash

~DEC 2023 Bloopers~

We're all over the place this time, but one this is consistent, airplanes and assholes revving their stupid cars will always be my mortal enemies

~November 2023 AMA~

Yes, this is the AMA for last month, thanks for your patience (and also not getting annoyed when I say that all the time) and thank you all for your questions!

~I Would Like You All to Help Decide What Changes to Make~

I know the title might seem a little scary, but it's not that serious, I promise!

So, this upcoming January, I'd like to make some changes to my Patreon to help set myself up for success when it comes to creating audios for you all in a timely manner, while still continuing to do what I love and not burn myself completely out, which has been happening this past year. Mostly, over the years that I've been doing this, I've noticed that some benefits I've offered to Patrons are very popular, and others, not so much. The two benefits that are the least popular are the Audio Book readings and the Let's Plays. Now, these are also conveniently, some of the benefits that take me the longest time to create considering their length.

The most popular tiers, are of course, the exclusive SFW and NSFW audios, which is no surprise to me in the least, but the AMA and the Bloopers are quite popular as well. So my idea is essentially this:

I would like to put a poll through with my Patrons, asking them if there are some benefits that they would prefer over others, and whether or not they would be ok with me giving some of them the chop and rearranging my tiers so they're more streamlined and simplified. When I first started Patreon, I wanted to offer more and different kinds of benefits that you can't get anywhere else, but I've noticed—again, over the years—that people are really mostly in it for the SFW and NSFW exclusives, which is completely fine! They're the backbone of why I made a Patreon in the first place, so they won't be going anywhere.

So my biggest idea is this: Cutting both the Let's Plays and the Audio Book readings from monthly content, but have them as an extra fun thing that is of no extra cost to anyone if I'm feeling the want to do so. I'll finish up my current Audio Book and Let's Play this month and start fresh January of 2024. The tiers will be rearranged to be like this:

$1—Intro Tier: Not much would be changing here. You still get access to high quality downloads of all of my publicly released content past and future, as well as access to asking questions and the audio for the AMA. This also comes with Discord server access if you would like it.

$7—SFW Tier: This will be combining the SFW exclusive tier and the Bloopers tiers into one, raising the price slightly, but keeping it under $10 so it's more accessible to people with a lower budget.

$20—NSFW Tier: Yes, this tier will become a little bit cheaper! I've always been nervous about the potential of losing money on charging less, but since I'll be creating less benefits all together, I can focus more on these audios, and this also makes it slightly more affordable for people all around!


Other ideas include just dropping the Let's Play tier, as well as just dropping the Audio Books and putting the Bloopers in the tier with the Let's Plays. But I'm interested in what you all have to say about this. Thank you all for letting my brainstorm this out, because I want to continue to make things for everyone while still maintaining good mental health and everything, and I feel like this is the best way to do that. If you disagree, please let me know that as well! I'm interested to hear any thoughts as well if you have them in the comments! 

☃️~DEC 2023 AMA~☃️

AMA Time!

For those who are new and/or might now know, AMA stands for "Ask Me Anything", and essentially this is how it works:  Down below in the comments, you can ask me a question (or a few), and at the end of the month, I will record myself answering them, and release an audio for you all to be able to enjoy!

I know sometimes people worry about asking something that's been answered before, but please don't be! I'm more than ok answering something again! So go ahead and leave your questions down below!

~Update~

Mental and physical health are still kicking my ass, but I'm ever so surely working on audios. I appreciate as always everyone's patience, and starting in the new year there will be changes to help my workload. There will be a poll out in the next couple of days explaining what's going to happen, so look out for that. 

Thank you all so much for your continued support ❤️

~Hard at Work!~

Not in a sexual way lol.

Sorry I've been radio silent (please ignore that joke too lol), but I've been working hard with IRL things, as well as with getting caught up on Patreon audios! I'm trying to get caught up with everything for next month, and I appreciate your patience!

As for current things, a reminder that I will be recording this month's AMA audio very soon, so if you haven't gotten your questions in that you want me to answer, please go ahead and put them in the comments of the AMA post! You can find that here

Thanks so much, as always, for your support!

~Paperbound: A Study in Scarlet by: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: Part 3~

Content Warning: This part contains animal death (an incredibly old dog is poisoned)

Seems like everything is all wrapped up and ready to go, but the fact that there is an entire second part to this story plainly tells that this case is not as simple as it seems. (Also I apologize my horrible French lol)

~The Arcana: Julian Devorak X Listener SFW: Heart Tending~ {Patreon Exclusive}

What started off as a lovely walk with Julian turns into something much more unexpected, but not unwelcome.

Contains: Comfort, Confessions, Feelings

Who doesn't love a good old fashioned unexpected love confession? I definitely do, and love to try to make it happen in as many ways as I can lol. I just thought with this month's theme, with deer believed to be animals that represent love unconditional and appear to those who need some heart tending, that it would be a perfect subject! I hope that you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Julian: I think it is a lovely day for a walk, isn’t it? Getting out of the city? Especially the castle I can imagine…..I was never really fond of the place…….

But there should be a clearing just up ahead, if we wish to stop and take a moment, in fact….it should be right through these trees—

*gasp*

It’s……full of….deer……

*pause*

I scarcely want to move…..they usually frighten quite easily……perhaps if we were to—

*hushed and sharp* Wait!

*pause*

They’re not……running……

That is…..incredible…….

These deer must have had some sort of contact with humans……normally they would run as soon as they noticed us……

*pause*

One must admit that they are……beautiful creatures……something about them…..

There are many who believe that deer are spiritual guides ……

Please….be careful …..in case one does spook…..we don’t want an accidental stampede on our hands…..I think it might be best if we—

*soft exhale*

They’re…..letting you pet them?

*whispered*

By the gods……

*to himself*

Very special deer indeed……

*pause*

It is said that those who are visited by deer…..at least by multiples….or….multitudes….are heart sick…..deers are said to be incredibly intuitive….and…..know of matters of the heart……

Tenders of those whose hearts need it……

*huffs a laugh*

Despite the fact that I am a man of science….I am……..or was…..a friend of Asra……and….he spoke of many things like this……

*pause*

*sighs*

I have seen too many things in this world….especially as of late….to discredit anything that he has said to me……or anything else that I have picked up on my travels……

*pause*

They truly are quite friendly, aren’t they?

*sighs*

*softly*

If I am honest…..there are many things in my heart, that could be considered in need of tending……

*pause*

If I had the time I would tell you…..but I fear that it would take far more time than you would either have patience for…..or the day would end before I’d stop speaking…..

And believe it or not I think there are better things to be spending your precious time on……

*pause*

Please…..allow me this….for the time being……

*self deprecating laugh*

I do not wish to scare you off……at least not yet…….

*pause*

I know…..I know that you care for me….which is why you ask in the first place……

*long pause*

There is a sense of…..peace here isn’t there?

Something that is profoundly…..calm……

It allows the mind and the heart to clear……to…..ruminate on the things that truly matter……

*pause*

Asra spoke of another thing….involving deer……

*slow inhale and exhale*

They are a representation of…..a wish to give……….unconditional love……

*pause*

*hushed*

And to receive it…..

*pause*

I suppose…..the cat is out of the bag now…..or…..the deers are in the field….as it were…..

We have spoken and traded confessions of care to one another……but we have not……

*pause*

*hushed, almost broken*

I-I…..love you…..I’m…..in love with you……

*pause*

*almost rushed*

I did not bring you out here with the intent to say that……to confess the feelings that I have had in my heart for so long….

*pause*

I was content for a while to let them sit…..to keep them quiet……to relieve you of the knowledge of them and allow it to fester in my heart until they either leave or……they are no longer relevant…..

Yet….seeing these deer here……

*sighs through nose*

Well…I told you of the things I have seen in this world that I could not explain with science……

I believe this is one of them…..

The deer….I feel…..it was a sign……and if there is anything that I have learned in my life….is that you do not ignore a sign……

So…..there it is…….forgive me if I do not say it again….for it took nearly all of my strength to say it the first time……but know that even though it might not have been said with the power that reflects it’s magnitude……it is the truth…..

*short pause*

And please…..do not feel obligated to say anything back….I do not wish to put you on the spot…….know that whatever time we spend together it is spent in happiness…..even if I do not have a response from you now……

Even....if there never is a response…….

*pause*

There is a weight lifted from my shoulders…..having you know now……and I feel as though I can move forward…..however it is I am meant to do so…..

*pause*

*chuckles* Damn…..if I ever speak to Asra again…..I will have to tell him he was right……

*pause*

Do not worry…..I think....it is worth being wrong over……

~Marvel: Loki X Listener NSFW: My Toy~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Is what he has to offer you frightening or arousing? Only time will tell...

Contains: Magic Control, Body Control, Mild Mind Control, Perception Play, Mild Predator/Prey Play, Objectification, Rough Sex, Bareback Sex, Orgasm Control, Petnames (My Dear, My Darling, My Toy)

This wasn't exactly what I was planning to create when I started writing this script, but sometimes, ideas take on a path of their own, and while this may not be entirely scary, I do like where it went. I haven't really played with body or perception control very often, but it was fun to explore! Please be sure of the content warnings and if you potentially could be squicked or triggered by body and slight mind control, then please skip this audio or read the script down below before you listen!

Note: This audio was for October of this year, thank you for your patience!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Loki: Oh, and aren’t you a good listener……following my directions without quite knowing what you’re getting yourself into….it’s that daring spirit of yours that ensnared my attention in the first place……

*pause*

Oh don’t you worry My Dear….I am here…..there’s just something I want to put forward to you before we begin. You’ve answered my call because it’s interested you, and now, here you stand at the precipice of change. Once you cross this threshold…..you will be at my mercy…..

*pause*

Ah, and they’re the inquisitive mind that I’ve come to adore as well, asking the right questions……

*pause*

It’s quite simple…….If you agree, you will fall under the powers of my magic……and I will be able to not only manipulate your senses…..

*voice targeted closer in one ear*

But also your perception…….

You might not know what is hiding around any corner…..but I do swear on my honor as a god, that no actual harm will come to you.

*pause*

Oh….I intend to entice and frighten in equal measure……and also pleasure…..

What say you, my Dear?

*pause*

*chuckles wickedly* Wonderful…..

Come now, Darling…..allow yourself to feel me…..it may not seem that I am there with you…..but nothing could be farther the truth….

*echoing voice* I am everywhere….

You’ve let me in, my Dear…..I am in control of your perception……

*pause*

Come now…..why don’t you head towards your room? Nice and slow…..

*pause*

*hums* You haven’t quite caught on, have you. You’re moving because you’ve given yourself up to me….and just the smallest suggestion has you following my commands as if they were your own…..

You belong to me, now…..

*pause*

Can you feel that, Darling? Can you feel my gentle caress against your most intimate areas, even though you could swear that there is nothing physically doing so? That is me, that is my power…..and you’ve let it inside…..

How wonderful….

*pause*

You’re going to keep walking, ever so carefully….and I’m going to continue to play…..

*pause*

Oh….I like to think it more like…..prey……

Toying with you….taunting you….

*voice targeted to other ear*

playing with you….

*chuckles softly*

Now…..continue on……

*long pause*

Oh look….there it is….the door to your bedroom…..

You’re almost there, my Dear……do you have any ideas of what might happen to you once you go inside?

Why don’t I give you a little taste?

*whisper of magic*

Oh yes, you can feel it, can’t you? The sudden and overwhelming rush of pleasure coursing through you, the familiar touch of my hands? You suddenly feel so close to coming already, and yet the only thing I’ve done is influence you with my magic…..

And now….*snap*….it’s gone…..as if you’ve never been touched at all……

*pause*

Do you understand now, Darling? Do you see what you’ve done? What you’ve offered yourself up to?

Here you are…..at your door…..

I’m going to give you one last chance to change your mind, my Dear……you can refuse, walk away from the door, and I’ll end this little game……

Or you can open the door, and find out what it means to be played with and used like a toy…..

*pause*

*chuckles* Oh….good little prey……

Go on now…..you’ve made the decision…..I’m not going to help you any more…..if you want what’s behind the door, you’re going to have to get it yourself……

*pause*

*door opening*

*laughs*

What, did you think I was going to be on the other side? Did you honestly think that it was going to be that easy?

*sudden rush of magic, thudding into a wall*

*growls lowly*

It’s not going to be, my Dear…

*pause*

Oh, it might be your room, but for all intents and purposes, you just walked right into the lion’s den……

*pause*

Well….perhaps I’m not as scary as I think I am……

*lowly*

But I’ll still have you screaming tonight……

Get on the bed, on all fours……

*chuckles*

Oh, do you think you have a choice in the matter? Go….

*groans* Darling, you have no idea how arousing it is to see you under my complete control…..

Oh no…..there will be no need for removing all of your clothing….I just need enough room for access……

Besides….I like my doll all dressed up……

*moans*

Look at you….posed pretty like a picture…..

Now…..let me make quick work of those last little nasty resistances in your body…..

*snap*

Oh yes….I see you going practically limp….how delicious…..and those sweet noises…..you can feel my magic again, can’t you…..you can feel it filling you up and stretching you out in such delicious ways…..

You know what my magic is preparing you for, don’t you?

*pause*

*chuckles* That’s right…..what a smart little toy…..

But I don’t need or want you for your brains….you’re here to be my little fucktoy…..my little fleshlight…..you’re here to take my cock and love it…..

*groaning laugh* You enjoy that idea…don’t you? The thought of being used as nothing more than a little tight wet hole for me to pump my come into…..

*pause*

Don’t worry my Dear, I’ll be sure that you’re wet enough….

*snaps*

*chuckles lowly*

Now……do you think you’re ready to take me?

*pause*

Ah-ah-ah….trick question…..it doesn’t matter if you’re ready….I’m going to take you when I’m good and ready…..

*hums* and as your luck has it....I do believe I’m ready now……

*shuffling*

*lowly* I’m going to put my hand around the back of your neck and push you into the mattress and fuck you like you’re nothing more than a cheap piece of silicone……

*hums* But you are better than silicone…..and you know why?

*lowly* because my little toy can scream….

*harsh, rough thrusts*

*laughs*

That’s it! Yes, scream in pleasure as I fuck you rough and hard…..as I take my pleasure and listen to you moan and scream for me…..

*moans and pants*

Yes, yes….I can feel you surrendering even more…..surrender to the pleasure….become my perfect little toy….

Oh, Darling, I knew the moment that you relinquished control to me, you were going to be the most perfect little fuck toy…….and you know what?

*lowly*

I was right…..

*growling thrusts and moans*

*laughs*

Is was wondering when you were going to notice…..you feel so close to the edge, but somehow you never get closer and closer to coming…..do you have an idea as to why?

*pause*

*lowly* That’s right, what a smart little toy……you only get to come if I decide that you deserve it……

However, I am a kind god…..I could have made it so you don’t feel pleasure from this at all, and all it would be is dull sensation……

You should thank me…..

*growls a chuckle* Good toy…..

*harsh moaning and pants*

Hmmmm….and with a toy….there’s no need to drag it out….no need to focus on anything more than chasing my climax and coming inside of you…….

And I will be coming inside you, Dear……good little playthings don’t decide whether or not they get creampied……

*moaning thrusts and pants*

Yes, take it….take it and beg for more….I want to hear how desperate my toy is for me to use it……want to hear how good it feels to be used…..

*harsh panting and moaning*

Yes….yes….I’m close, little toy…..

Beg…..beg for it…..

*harsh pants*

Going to come my Dear…..my sweet little toy…….what do you want….tell me…..

*panting*

*chuckles*

*lowly in the ear*

No. Toys don’t have a say

*growls in climax*

Yes, what a good little toy~ Fuck~!

Come now, come now little toy, you’ve done so well……come…..come for your master…

*harsh panting*

*panting subsides*

*snaps*

Alright yes, I’ve got you, come here, my Darling…..my sweet perfect little Dear……

*shuffling*

How do you feel? Any pain anywhere?

*pause*

That’s good……do you need anything else? Or do you need a moment to enjoy the afterglow and have your mind fully come back to you?

*pause*

That is perfectly fine, Darling…..now….one more question…..do you want me to hold you? That was quite an intense scene where I was rather mean spirited…so I don’t want to cause you any distress…..

*pause*

Alright, come now….I’ve got you, my Dear…..

*shuffling*

Get all comfortable…..we’ll take a moment to relax….and then we’ll get cleaned up.... I’ll look you over and run you a nice hot bath…..how does that sound?

*hums softy*

Of course, Darling…..it’s the least I can do for you…..

*soft kiss*

🍂~November 2023 Theme: Deer~🍂

The winner of the theme this month is Deer!

These animals are known all over the world, for they live on every continent except Antarctica. They are subjects of many myths, folklore, and symbolism. Many cultures view the Deer as a spiritual guide, along with representing intuition and instincts, along with gentleness and devotion. The deer was also sacred to the goddess Artemis in Greek mythology, and they symbolize that the powers in nature are not easily subdued.

Also have the winners of the character polls!:

NSFW:
Sidon
Muriel

SFW:
Julian
Connor

Thank you everyone so much for voting!

~November 2023 Bloopers~

There's lots of singing in this one folks so buckle up lol