Heart

Pitiful creature 🐭

My husband’s grandmother passed away recently. She was almost 99, and aged in an authentic way that inspired me. She was worldly and graceful and well read. She shared her compassion for humanity and her wildflowers. I’ve learned so much from her in the 20 years I’ve known her.

A decade ago she downsized from her big ol’ house to a little retirement apartment. She got rid of most of her earthly possessions, enjoying having little to care for (aside from her many plants.) In spi...

A No Good Very Bad Day

Today just sucked. I’ve had this app open all day with the intention of writing about the slumber party, but now it’s after midnight and the day got away from me.

I woke up this morning from a dream I was at my ex’s place and I was a ghost. I could feel his soft grey couch, I could smell his cologne if I was close enough, but neither he nor the girl on his lap could see me. Watching them together was torture.

I couldn’t shake the shitty feeling, such a transparent and si...

Pretty Smooth

Yesterday I went to a cute little apothecary and good the lovely lady that owns it about the midnight ritual I was creating for the upcoming slumber party. I told her the goal was to clear negativity and make room for growth. She suggested I use Ocean Jasper and Lace Agate.

Ocean Jasper (green and yellow) is a “go with the flow” stone, it has nurturing vibes, good for stress and inner peace. Lace Agate (cream coloured) is to help us stay in the moment. It promotes happiness, and it...

“Pretty kitty,” he purred at me.

When I saw this photo I remembered the way the thick carpet felt under my knees. We hadn’t been dating that long. I felt vulnerable all of a sudden, bare on the floor while he was still fully clothed. He felt it, he must have, because he started saying sweet soothing things from across the room while he focused his lens. “Pretty kitty,” he purred at me as he took this shot.

Later that afternoon was the first time I cried while we were fucking. It wasn’t that I was sad, just ove...

One Year Later

I tend to only do tarot readings for myself in times of great change or transition. I always do a simple past-present-future set up, and make a little note of the cards I pull and my thoughts about them. This time I had tea and flowers and raspberries to go with the quiet moment.

I didn’t realize this until I sat down and opened my book, but the last time I did a reading for myself happened to be April 4th, 2018. Very cool. One exact year later I felt the itch.

So I took my ti...

Pink Spring Fairy 💕

This is a cute little self portrait I took in the Spring of 2015.

This picture just reminded me that I haven’t worn tall socks in a looooong time. Now that it’s Spring I’m going to have to bring them out with some cute dresses.

Seeing Sex

I'm so excited to share this news here first: When tumblr died my friend (and badass writer/pornographer/creator of things) Stoya approached me about writing some smut for her new Zero Spaces project. 

"ZeroSpaces is a sexually explicit media project. We carefully handcraft a collection of videos, photos, articles and more into an Issue - much like magazines of yore." 

The link above brings you directly to my contribution. You can take a look at the whole issue ...

Winter Rose

Party Favours

I pre-ordered a few copies of Katie West’s “Becoming Dangerous” as prizes for some of the games at the Slumber Party. Witchy queer femmes supporting witchy queer femmes! ✨

Bonus bum 🍑

A little extra for my full-access darlings. Thanks for being such sweethearts.

April 2019

The summer of 2017 was hard. In the midst of my emotional battlefield my best friend Joie and I were lying on the grass in my backyard, covered in crystals, smoking joints and appreciating the solar eclipse. We were hoping to cleanse the recent negativity. I’d just had my horoscope read and couldn’t get my head around it. “Emotional challenges have been mounting,” it said, “expect this trend to continue until the end of March 2019.” I laughed at the audacity of it, I’d hoped the...

Q & A

I’m going to be answering a few questions I’ve had in my inbox here in a post for all Patrons. If you have a question or query about anything at all (personal, poly, patreon, parties, possibly something else that also starts with a “p”) you can add it as a comment on this post, or click here to use the old tumblr anon ask box.

2019-03-31 23:35:16 +0000 UTC View Post

Change requires patience ✨

Today marks day one of trying to go cold-turkey on a bad habit. That bad habit is a person I love, and this addiction runs deep. I want to heal though, and I want to make room for good things to grow.

Change is hard, especially emotional changes, I keep reaching for old impulses. Texting him when I feel overwhelmed. Cold-turkey is the only way I can regulate this habit. No other method has proven successful. So today is day 1. Day 1 is a hard day. The should-have, could-have, would-hav...

Patreon Change (and gratitude)

I've decided to switch my Patreon account to monthly rather than per-creation. I'm adjusting the tiers to reflect that too, if this means you want to change your support levels or opt out please know I appreciate every little bit of support you've given thus far! 

The main reason I need to make this change is because I've had several folks (men actually, so I can be specific) sign up, copy and download content, and then delete their subscription. I'm already concerned about some of...

Snuggle butt 🐇

Pretty sure this is what they mean by Power Suit 🐰

These are officially the best jammies ever. I recently got them back from my ex-boyfriends house and I’ve been LIVING in them.

When you’re a connoisseur of bunnies you realize some bunny prints are kinda generic. But this one is Very Good. The bunnies are extra cute, they have heart-noses and friendly smiles.

2019-03-30 18:37:21 +0000 UTC View Post

Archive Update

This thing is driving me bananas! So I finally decided on a good platform, took the time to copy all of the content on tumblr from the first Sapphic Slumber Party, then combed through the "flagged posts" and added all of the shots they removed for being "adult content". I thought I was done! I was so proud. I loved that all of the original captions and links were maintained, I was happy with it. And then as I was stuck in traffic coming home from work my mind wandered, and I remembered this c...

So close!

I've been working on the first Sapphic Slumber Party archive all day, and in spite of some technical frustrations this afternoon, I'm almost finished!

I'm gonna get some sleep and give it a final look with fresh eyes in the morning before posting to share with you here tomorrow.

Thanks for your patience!

(This is another shot from Mr. J as we were getting ready to throw the first slumber party in 2017. It's Kitten on my lap, and Ms.O by my side, this makes me feel so melty.)...

His favourite subject...

This is another gem from the 2011 photoset I found. He took so many pictures of my ass. He was the only partner I’ve ever had who would say “Wait, don’t move, let me take your picture, just like this.” It made me feel beautiful, remarkable even. I posted a couple close ups from this shoot on tumblr back then, but not this one because of my tattoo. I’m glad I can share it here now.

Guess who finally figured out a good way to archive?

Expect an album of the first slumber party pics by Wednesday night!

I'm having so many good memories going through all of these photos.

Before the very first slumber party we did a photo shoot while the sun was still out. This is a gif I made of Kitten on my lap, and Ms. O waiting patiently by our side.

(Ed: Sorry just realised the gif doesn't work on the patreon app!)

Forget Me Not

I got a notification about “flagged posts” on a private tumblr I used to use for keeping photos organized. As I scrolled through the list of posts that had been blocked I came across a black and white set I forgot even existed. They’re intimate photos my ex took of me when we first started dating. An emotional landmine. I love these pictures. They were taken 8 years ago, in his apartment, in his bed, when he first got his camera.

I remember him asking, while I was getting dressed...

“I can see right through you.”

Kind encouragement ♥️

I’m admittedly a bit stressed about the upcoming slumber party. This is our first event without tumblr, which really fuelled sales of our instax packs, as well as my store sales, and our tip jar on kofi. By combining these little streams of income we always made enough extra cash to cover safer sex supplies and the cost of hiring a security guard. Sometimes there was even extra to pay for a tarot c...

“I spend so much time on the details, and where does it get me?”

Photo by Guy New York ♥️

Kisses 💋

Instax of Elly and I from last summer. Covered in lipstick kisses, before we got them all smudged and messy.

Love Letter 💚

This is an outtake from the peony photoshoot Elly and I did together last June. I accidentally set the timer off while adjusting the camera. She looks sweet, and annoyed, and so pretty.

It’s been almost 2 months since we’ve visited, and the last one went so quick. Long distance feels longer sometimes. I like this picture, her patient feet, her impatient gaze. Here’s part of a love letter I wrote to her this morning.

Beauty, I miss you. My pulse and my eyes miss you. I�...