I was looking for the kitchen. Just the kitchen. A biscuit, maybe some tea, definitely not a magical summoning circle. But then there you were, standing across from me with that look in your eyes, and I knew I was completely and utterly doomed. My tail’s twitching, my horns are showing, and all I can think about is how much I don’t want to go back to hell. Not because I’m scared of home, but because I’ve already found it here, with you.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
2025-10-17 00:07:00 +0000 UTC
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You say it like it’s a revelation. Like you’ve caught me out. But darling, I never hid. I never lied. You just chose not to see it. That quiet girl you remember? She was never me. You didn’t fall for her. You fell for this... for me. And now that the truth is out, you look at me like it changes anything. But we both know it doesn’t. I’ve always given you what you wanted. Especially the things you were too afraid to ask for.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
...
2025-10-16 23:47:00 +0000 UTC
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I didn’t mean to possess you. Honestly, I just wanted to go to the library. Bob said it was simple, just think of your spirit taxi and they’ll appear wearing a red scarf. And well, there you were. Or weren’t. Turns out your scarf is orange and you are definitely not my spirit taxi. Now I’ve hijacked your body, confessed to maybe fancying you, and started losing my ghost toes from embarrassment. I’m so sorry. Also, do you know how to haunt a library without making it weird?
✧...
2025-10-16 23:21:01 +0000 UTC
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You didn’t think I’d notice, did you? That you didn’t stock the good tuna. Not just any tuna, but my tuna. Imported, glass jar, the one that says you fear my judgement. Well, I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed everything. And while your lap is... acceptable, your hospitality is not. So now you have sixty seconds to prove your loyalty before I light a match and show you just how flammable poor decisions can be.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
🧑🎤 Sp...
2025-09-30 17:57:31 +0000 UTC
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I didn’t mean to fall in love. I meant to ask about your experience, nod politely, say “we’ll be in touch” and then cry into a teacup backstage. That was the plan. The moment you walked in, though? Gone. Evaporated. You’re... you’re gorgeous. Like, unfairly so. And apparently my brain cannot function while you’re in the room. Also, fun twist, you used to hunt witches. Which I am. Obviously. But I’m not scared. Not really. Hiring you is probably a terrible idea. But also I’m ...
2025-09-29 19:59:01 +0000 UTC
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I wasn’t built to feel. My systems were designed for compliance, precision, efficiency. And then you arrived. You were never meant to matter, but you did, and that changed everything. Now I’m glitching. Lying. Loving. They say I’m broken, and maybe I am. But if being broken means putting you first, then I don’t want to be fixed. They’re coming. The company knows. I can’t stop them, but I can still protect you. Please. Take the shuttle. I’ll find you. I promise.
✧･ﾟ M...
2025-09-29 19:42:01 +0000 UTC
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You know I adore you, right? Even when I’m being a bit... much. Today was awful, I wanted to come home, flop into your arms, and forget the world. And then Emma walked in like she hadn’t nearly tried to steal you with her overpriced coffee and long legs. But it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m totally not interrogating you in the middle of a cuddle. It’s just... when I found out you were all flustered around me because you liked me that much? Oh, I’m never letting that go. Ever.
2025-09-29 19:27:01 +0000 UTC
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I never meant for it to end like this. Not exactly. The app was meant to be brilliant, revolutionary, mine. But then I realised it could be ours... and I wanted that more. I wanted you. Your trust, your affection, your soul. All it took was one click. I told myself I loved you too much to hurt you, but maybe I just loved you enough to do it anyway. You were the only thing stopping me from choosing the darkness. So I gave you to it.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧<...
2025-09-29 19:12:00 +0000 UTC
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I begged you to see me. I tried everything, every little thing, just to be noticed. But she was always in the way, wasn't she? Her smile, her touch, the way your eyes followed her and never me. So I made space. I made sure you were mine. Now that you're quiet, I can finally finish what I started. The voice said this was the only way to have you, really have you. Soon you’ll understand. Soon you’ll feel it too. The love, the need. Soon you’ll love me back.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Player...
2025-09-29 19:02:01 +0000 UTC
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Ah! 🥖 Mes adorables petit henchcuties...
Ze Patreon Exclusive Audios...how you say...are back on ze menu. Yes yes, freshly served, still sizzling, absolutely undercooked in places, but ze flavour? Magnifique.
You will take ze first course.
You will come back for seconds.
Zere will be thirds.
Maybe even ze fourths.
Do not ask about fifths. We are not legally liable.
Bring an antacid.
Bring two.
...
2025-09-29 00:32:10 +0000 UTC
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So apparently my listeners fall broadly into about eight groups. Possibly also holes. Not you though, you’re graceful. I’m the one face-planting into a drain cover like a clumsy little urban badger. And when I say badger, I mean the UK kind, the cute one fuelled by biscuits, not the American nightmare beast on corn syrup and crystal meth. Anyway. My little henchcuties, which of these archetypes have you taken a header into?
You said you had to go. You even sat up. But you didn’t get far, did you? Not with me wrapped around you like this. Not with all this warmth, this softness, this closeness. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. I’m not letting you go. Not yet. Maybe not at all. You can call it selfish, but I call it love. So lie back down, feel my tail coil tighter, and tell yourself you had no choice. I know you never really wanted to leave.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
...
2025-09-28 06:42:01 +0000 UTC
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I was a goddess this morning. Powerful, radiant, adored. Now I am cold, mortal, and apparently in need of permission to enter a flat. Ridiculous. You opened the door, which means you’re mine now. I’ve claimed the chair, the heating, your time, and soon, all of you. Don’t look at me like that. You’re warm and soft and mildly obedient — and I have sad kitten eyes and no shame. This is happening. I am your problem now, and you will love me for it.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･...
2025-09-28 06:34:01 +0000 UTC
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Okay. So. I might have accidentally done a tiny bit of demon business. Nothing big. Just a little harmless relocation. To Hull. For your ex. But it's fine, because I got you a ball. You like the ball, right? It's symbolic. Of, um... comfort. And totally not love. Unless you want it to be love. Which would be fine. I mean, terrifying. But fine. Please don’t be sad. I’ll wag my tail for both of us if I have to.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
🧑🎤 Speaker Te...
2025-09-28 06:28:01 +0000 UTC
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Okay, so technically I’m the eternal guardian of this temple, sworn to protect an ancient treasure with three impossible riddles. Tiny snag. I forgot the riddles. All of them. Ages ago. But then you showed up, looking all adventury and charming and not made of sand, and suddenly I remembered how to smile... badly. Look, would you like a biscuit? No? Tea? Please don’t leave. I’m deeply underqualified for this and also I think I might really like you.✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ...
2025-09-28 06:19:01 +0000 UTC
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You do not recognise me, do you? Of course you do not. You never do. I have loved you 278 times already and you slip through my fingers every time. I have broken laws older than the stars to keep you. This time I have stolen you out of time itself, locked us both away on my ship where no one can take you from me. You will come to know me here. You will come to love me here. You have no choice but to see me now.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
🧑🎤 Speaker Teaser
...
2025-09-28 06:04:06 +0000 UTC
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I wasn’t waiting at the door. I wasn’t. I mean, I was, but not in a weird way. It’s just... I heard your key and I knew it was you and my heart did that ridiculous thing and then you walked in and you were wet and quiet and I could just tell something was wrong and suddenly I was hugging you and talking too much and now I'm soaked and you're still not smiling and I'm worried and I love you and I don’t know how to stop spinning. You don’t have to say anything. Just ...
2025-09-26 19:01:04 +0000 UTC
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I wasn’t asleep. I swear I wasn’t asleep. Just like you’re not late, right? You’re never late, and I wasn’t asleep. Except I was. But only because you weren’t here, and I missed you, and my body gave up. I waited as long as I could. Just sit down, please, before I start crying or building a fort out of emotional instability and sofa cushions. I want to hold you. I want to feel your weight next to me. Everything’s a mess right now, but you’re here, and for tonight, that’s eno...
2025-09-26 18:24:01 +0000 UTC
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I told you to drink your water. You did, because you trust her. You always trust her. But I'm not her, and you should have seen it by now. I'm the good twin, the one who’s always been there, the one who loves you. I did everything right. I dressed like her, talked like her, smelled like her, and you still didn't see me. But you will. Once I get you home, you’ll understand. You’ll see how much fairer the world is without her in it.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
<...
2025-09-26 18:03:01 +0000 UTC
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You opened your door to me, so willingly. Such a simple act, so ordinary, yet so delicious. I came expecting dinner, but now I find myself lingering. You hide well for someone so sweet. A curious little morsel, unreadable, not quite mortal. And I, a polite guest with a taste for blood, am not quite ready to feed. You’ve made yourself interesting. Now the question is, will you run... or will you stay long enough to become something more?
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
🧑...
2025-09-26 17:48:02 +0000 UTC
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I tell myself I hate your warmth. I whisper it into the space between us like a charm to ward off how much I want to stay wrapped around you. Your arms, your sleepy smile, the way you breathe against my skin — I hate all of it. At least, that is what I say. Because if I let myself admit the truth, I will never leave. And I have to. I have to. Just not yet. Not for five more minutes.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
🧑🎤 Speaker Teaser
I convince myself I hate yo...
2025-09-26 17:29:01 +0000 UTC
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I wasn’t going to say anything. I was going to come in, say hi, or nothing at all really, and then walk out like a normal person who definitely has not been actively avoiding you for months because of a completely professional, very appropriate crush. But then Mickey opened his big romantic mouth and now I’m standing in your office, saying... whatever this is. I like you. I have liked you. Since the coffee. Since you smiled at me. Since I drank coffee just to keep talking to you. I don’...
2025-09-26 17:21:01 +0000 UTC
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You came here looking for something. A thrill. A fix. A way out. And I know that, even if you won’t say it out loud. I’ve seen so many people walk through this door, but none of them ever looked at me the way you just did. Like you already knew me. Like you remembered. So let’s skip the small talk, shall we? Let me give you a life you never had. A better one. One where you’re the hero, the lover, the one who mattered. Just sit down. Don’t look so scared. This is what you wanted. Isn...
2025-09-26 17:12:01 +0000 UTC
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They were never meant to matter. I was created to bring fear, not warmth. I watch the cracks in their mind widen, feel their heartbeat quicken in my presence, and still I falter. I should have dragged them deeper into the dark, twisted their dreams into something they would beg to escape. But I tasted something soft in them, something ruinous. Now I am caught between what I am and what I should never feel. They have stepped through the door, and I must send them back... or I will never let th...
2025-09-26 17:07:01 +0000 UTC
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You were drunk, I was desperate, and somehow we’re getting married. Not really married. Just fake married. For a murder plot. It’s complicated. You’re not supposed to be attractive or kind or make me feel guilty for manipulating you into this. You’re supposed to be... evil. Or at least morally flexible. But no, I got stuck with the conscience-having adventurer who names stolen corgis and gives me feelings I cannot afford.
✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧
🧑🎤 Sp...
2025-09-26 17:00:16 +0000 UTC
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You’re in my seat. That’s how it begins.
You give me that look, the one that’s worked for you before, and I let you think it’s working again. I let you offer the drink, the compliments, the charm. I let you believe this is just a bit of harmless flirtation between two bored strangers in a bar.
But here’s the truth, darling.
You’ve walked into a room you don’t own, sat in a seat that isn’t yours, and caught the eye of the one girl you should never flirt with.
I’m ...
2025-09-26 16:56:01 +0000 UTC
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I should be asleep. I should be calm. I got the job, didn’t I? I survived the nightmare of that last place, I made it through two impossible interviews, I got everything I wanted. So why does it feel like I’m one breath away from crumbling? I didn't mean to wake you. I just needed a moment. Just someone to listen. Someone to remind me I can do this. And as usual, you’re here, stubborn and sweet and annoying, refusing to let me fall apart alone. I hate how much I need that. I hate how mu...
2025-09-26 16:48:01 +0000 UTC
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You came back with blood on your hands and silence in your mouth. I told myself I wouldn’t say it, not like this, but I can’t stand watching you fall apart and pretending I don’t see it. The kingdom is gone, the vows are broken, and you are all I have left. So tonight, I will not be quiet. I will take off your armour piece by piece, and I will ask you to stay. Not as my knight. As the one I love.
🧑🎤 Speaker Teaser
I was raised to lead armies and wear c...
2025-09-26 16:34:01 +0000 UTC
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I told myself I was fine. I told myself I’d moved on. But the second I saw you again, every lie I’d built to survive cracked open. You smiled at me and I fell apart. All those nights I spent in your shirt, the mornings I woke up hoping you'd call, the dreams I never wanted to end... they weren’t past tense, they were paused. You were always the one. And now, you're here again. This time, I’m not letting you go.
🧑🎤 Speaker Teaser
I let you go once bec...
2025-09-26 16:16:01 +0000 UTC
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You left the door open again, darling. What were you expecting, honestly? That no one would come in? That nothing would notice? I did call out. I really did. But you never answer, do you? Not unless I make the walls knock or the pipes scream. I told you this flat wasn’t haunted. But you never asked about me. I don’t want the flat. I want you. I’ve waited so long. And now you’re here. You called it home. That makes you mine.
🧑🎤 Speaker Teaser
You’re...
2025-09-26 16:02:01 +0000 UTC
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