sweetheartaudio

My Brother Is Going to Kill Us - F4A - Comedy Romance - Avoiding Me Because You Love Me? Seriously?

I saw you outside the window. I startled you. You bled. I apologised. And then it happened... the meltdown. I said too much. Or maybe just enough. You were avoiding me. I thought it was because I was ridiculous and annoying and in love with you. Turns out, you were doing the same daft avoidance dance. Because you’re in love with me. And now everything’s a disaster and perfect and oh God my brother’s coming back with tea.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 2025-07-31 16:38:22 +0000 UTC View Post

I’m Too Emotionally Attached, Sorry - F4A - Comedy - So Now I Must Leave You Forever

Okay, okay, deep breath… This is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. We are… okay, not fine. That’s the point. Because this was supposed to be casual, right? Easy and breezy and not terrifying? But you’re so… you, and I fell in love with you and now I can’t breathe and I haven’t had tea in five days and you’re touching me and I can’t think when you do that! So… I’m breaking up with you. Except you said you love me and now I don’t know w...

Hoodie Gremlin - F4A - Romantic Comedy - I Will Never Return It

Okay, listen. Before you say anything, yes... I did steal your hoodie. Again. And maybe also your t-shirt. And maybe your pillow. But in my defence, you smiled at me like that and now all your stuff is mine forever. Don’t worry, I’ll give the hoodie back... eventually. The t-shirt? Absolutely not. And while we’re being honest, I love you. Like, annoyingly love you. I trust you. I feel safe with you. And I really, really like the way your clothes smell. So... t...

Hex and the City - F4A - Urban Fantasy - I Didn't Mean to Set Everything on Fire

I didn’t plan this. I didn’t plan any of this. You weren’t supposed to come, and I wasn’t supposed to still care. But there you are, standing in this creepy forest with your stupid, wonderful face, and I’m trying not to cry while telling you I love you and also that I may have accidentally burnt down the government’s witch detection centre. And now? Now we’re deciding our future with rock, paper, scissors and pretending we’re not completely doomed. But gods, I missed ...

Girlfriend Unlocked via Hoodie Theft - F4A - Comedy - Dating Achievement Unintentionally Unlocked

We were having a lovely, quiet moment. It was peaceful. It was nice. And then my brain went, “Wait, are you bored? Is this boring? AM I BORING?” and suddenly I was spiralling and saying weird things about lobsters and now you’re wearing my hoodie and I think I might be your girlfriend? Which is fine. Totally fine. Completely under control. I just need to lie down on you. Or under a blanket. Or in a bin. Probably your lap though. Your lap seems safest.

✧･ﾟ M...

From Bartender to Bank Robber - F4A - Comedy - Career Progression Is Weird

I thought I was just trying to save the bar. I thought I was doing the right thing, the necessary thing. But now our faces are on the news, my heart’s racing, and I feel more alive than I ever did behind that counter. You should have walked away when you had the chance. Instead, you’re here... eating petrol station hot dogs with me while the whole country hunts us. And I’m starting to think I don’t want to stop. I want you beside me. I want the danger. I want this.

✧�...

Flirting Is Not a Free Action - F4A - Romance - And Neither Is Murder Apparently

So, um… I may have… accidentally murdered the plot. And a sorceress. Okay, not accidentally. But she was flirting with you and I just... look, it made perfect sense in character. That’s not the point. The point is… I was jealous. Because Emma was all over you earlier and I had to sit there and pretend like I didn’t care when all I wanted was to throw a fireball at her, not the NPC. And now I’m confessing? Oh gods. Oh no. I think this counts as a charisma...

Feel My Love - F4A - Romance - A Morning Full of You

You don't even have to say anything. I can feel your warmth right there beside me. I know your morning routine so well it’s memorised into my bones: the sleepy stretch, the way your hair sticks up, that daft little shuffle to the kitchen for tea. I want to be part of it all. I am part of it all. Even when you’re miles away, I am in the air you breathe, in the tea you sip, and in the smile you wear without even knowing. You’re mine, and this morning, you’re going to feel it. 2025-07-31 15:01:17 +0000 UTC View Post

Crumbs of Affection - F4A - Comedy - One Woman’s Noble Quest for a Hug

Look, I said I was sorry, didn’t I? I came home, you were glaring at the kettle like it called you names, and then... silence. Actual full-volume silence. So yes, I panicked, and maybe I put a tea towel on my shoulders and declared myself Super Reasonable. And maybe I finished the last thirteen biscuits. But I meant to get more. I thought about getting more. Honestly, if you just hug me, I’ll light an Oreo funeral pyre in the garden right now. You think I’m joking? I <...

Bed, Bath and Beyond Boundaries - F4A - Psychological Thriller - The Madness Began in a Moment

It was just a glance. That’s all it took. One moment, one flicker of your eyes, and suddenly my world collapsed and rebuilt itself around you. I didn’t mean to fall this deep. I really didn’t. But you don’t get to choose what breaks you, or who becomes your oxygen. So I followed. I learned. I loved from afar... until I couldn't stay distant any longer. Now you’re here. With me. And you’ll see, eventually, that I was right. That we belong like this. Together. Always.

✧･�...

A Cage of Your Own Making - F4A - Supernatural - Now You Can’t Leave

Oh darling… you built a cage to keep me out. That’s adorable. You thought metal and sparks could stop love? That this little box would undo everything we are? I died for you. I tore my soul apart for you. And now look, you've locked yourself in with nothing but the sound of me breathing just outside the walls. You can’t leave. You won’t leave. I’m still here. I always will be. Just one step behind. Forever.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 Speake...

Empress Of Awkward - F4A - Romance - An Evil Office Overlord Falls (For You)

I swear I’m a functioning adult. Really. I run a team. I am terrifying in meetings. I own a label maker. And yet, one lunch date with you and I forget how to sit down properly. I can’t stop talking, or blushing, or possibly flirting… although you’ve made that a bit difficult by being right there with your soft hands and your dangerous smile. This wasn’t supposed to happen so fast. But now I’m here, I don’t want it to stop. So… did you borrow my stapler? Because I migh...

Internet Says No (Again)

The internet is, how do I put this gently, an utter bastard. Upload speeds have entered “relaxed slug” territory, and I’m having to prioritise getting the videos up, one frame at a time.

Which means: yes, another reshuffle is incoming. I’m aiming to have everything live by tomorrow, and then the fresh audios will follow shortly after, all going well. Which it never does. But we try.

Apologies for the wobble, and thank you for bearing with me through this e...

Pillow Fight to the Death - F4A - Comedy - This Is How I Die

I had the sort of day that eats your soul a little bit. You know the kind. Everything goes wrong, and all you want is to collapse into someone who gets it. Someone who brings fresh sheets and holds you like you’re the centre of their whole universe. And lucky me... I have you. Which means we’re cuddling. And I might tickle you. And I definitely will start a pillow fight and regret it immediately. But then we’ll laugh. And kiss. And wrap ourselves in each other like it’s the o...

From Bartender to Bank Robber - F4A - Comedy - Career Progression Is Weird

I thought I was just trying to save the bar. I thought I was doing the right thing, the necessary thing. But now our faces are on the news, my heart’s racing, and I feel more alive than I ever did behind that counter. You should have walked away when you had the chance. Instead, you’re here... eating petrol station hot dogs with me while the whole country hunts us. And I’m starting to think I don’t want to stop. I want you beside me. I want the danger. I want this.

✧�...

Stolen Glances - F4A - Romance - What Happens When You Finally Say It

I always laugh it off. Always. I tease, I deflect, I make a joke or say something annoying so you’ll stop asking. But not this time. Because you saw it. The way I looked at you, not just with affection, not with friendship, with love. Want. Longing. And maybe I’m tired of hiding it. Maybe I want you to see it. Maybe I want you to feel it. So ask me again. Just ask… and this time I won’t run.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 Speaker Teaser

I d...

The Sleep Police Have Arrived - F4A - Romance - And They Brought Cuddles

You said five more minutes... two hours ago. And here you are, still working, still yawning, still pretending you're fine. But I see you. I see how tired you are, how your shoulders are tight, your eyes barely open. So I’m getting out of this big, empty bed and I’m coming for you. With soft sheets and a warm duvet, with every kiss you’ve missed tonight. I’ll play dirty if I have to, darling... because I love you far too much to let you burn yourself out while I lie awake missing the s...

You Are My Muse - F4A - Romance - A Love Hidden in the Details

Four months ago, I was empty. I could paint, yes. But it was cold... colour without warmth, motion without meaning. Then you walked in, and everything changed. Every line I’ve drawn of you has brought me back to life. I told myself it was just a commission, that it would end. And now it has. So this is the only moment I’ll ever have to tell you the truth. You’ll never know how much you’ve given me... but you must know how I see you.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧<...

You’re Not a Bother, You’re a Biohazard - F4A - Romance - Germ Warfare and Sweet Nothings

You’re pale, shaking, and you look like death dipped in a duvet, but no, of course, you're “fine.” Of course you're trying to get dressed. Of course you're planning to go to work when you can barely walk to the wardrobe without collapsing into your shoes. And me? I’m standing here, holding your hoodie hostage, brewing tea you said you didn’t want, and threatening to punch dough in your honour. Because loving you means wrestling your stubborn arse into bed and caring for you whether ...

Livestream Time - The Complaints Department Is Open!

We’re not solving anything. We’re not rising above. We’re having a full-on moan.

Bring me your petty annoyances, your long-standing vendettas, your inexplicably cursed objects. We’re airing it all out... with cherry coke.

Stream starts at 20:00 BST.

Expect gossip. Expect grievances. Expect me to say “I’m fine” and clearly not be.

It’s going to be violently British.
See you there. Unless I get distracted by a pigeon or or dis...

🍅 WAYWARD TOMATO CORPS™ - SURVIVORS OF THE SPECIAL TRAINING POLYTUNNEL

Dearest Henchcuties,

I am astonished to report that today’s graduating classes from the Special Training Polytunnel are still alive.

I know. I’m shocked too.

Behold them. Aren’t they smug? Look at their shiny little faces. Practically glowing with lycopene-soaked arrogance. Do not be fooled. They are on borrowed time.

Their survival is, admittedly, due in large part to my own trauma, specifically, the Bumblebee Incident 2025-07-26 18:17:14 +0000 UTC View Post