sweetheartaudio

Your Brain Might Be Leaking - F4A - Comedy - Romance With a Side of Concussion

You’re bleeding. You’re actually bleeding. And you’re standing there like it’s fine, like I didn’t just watch you drop to the pavement for me. Don’t smile. Don’t joke. I can’t breathe when I look at you like this — busted lip, head wound, still trying to flirt — and now I’ve got a first aid kit in one hand and my whole heart falling out of my chest in the other. You scared the shit out of me. You sweet, heroic, ridiculous idiot. I love you. So sit down and let me fix you...

One Hand for Holding, One for Flailing - F4A - Romance - Anxiously Ever After

I tried to write you a letter. I really did. I even used a fountain pen and everything, but it just... I couldn't. My brain wouldn't let me. And now here I am — talking a million miles an hour, making a total fool of myself, trying to say the things that got tangled in my chest. We made up. I know we did. I know we're fine. But I don’t feel fine yet, and I need you to know that I love you too much to just pretend nothing happened. Even if this is awkward. Especially because it’...

The Morning After Sucks - F4A - Comedy - And I Don’t Mean the Hangover

Okay. Okay okay okay. So we… kissed. No, not just kissed, we did things. We did the thing. And now you're asleep. Smiling. How can you be smiling? I’m freaking out. Liquid panic. Brain static. Full mental chaos. This wasn’t supposed to happen — or it was, but not like this. You’re my best friend. I’ve loved you forever. But now I’ve touched you and tasted you and now I can’t go back. I’m broken. You broke me. And then… ...

Anniversary? I Barely Remember My Name - F4A - Romance - Selective Memory Syndrome

I wasn’t listening. I mean, I was. I tried to. But you were talking and then I saw the date, and now I’m here... doing this. Telling you everything I didn’t plan to say. About that kiss. Our kiss. The one that completely short-circuited my brain. I know I forget birthdays and appointments and sometimes where I left my keys, but not this. Not you. Not that moment. I remember all the important things... and apparently, you’re one of them. Don’t smile like that. I hate when yo...

Empress Of Awkward - F4A - Romance - An Evil Office Overlord Falls (For You)

I swear I’m a functioning adult. Really. I run a team. I am terrifying in meetings. I own a label maker. And yet, one lunch date with you and I forget how to sit down properly. I can’t stop talking, or blushing, or possibly flirting… although you’ve made that a bit difficult by being right there with your soft hands and your dangerous smile. This wasn’t supposed to happen so fast. But now I’m here, I don’t want it to stop. So… did you borrow my stapler? Because I migh...

You're Cute But Also Alive - F4A - Supernatural Romance - Mortals Are Gross Except You

I’m not obsessed with you. Obviously. I’m just… invested in the rent being paid. And maybe you looked a bit tired lately. Not that I noticed or anything. I mean, I just happened to notice. So I got rid of the poltergeist. For me. Then maybe made you breakfast. For me. And maybe stood there for a tiny bit watching you sleep. Not because you're cute. Ugh. You are cute, and it’s ruining my afterlife. Now eat your pancakes before I throw them at you.

✧�...

Hoodie Gremlin - F4A - Romantic Comedy - I Will Never Return It

Okay, listen. Before you say anything, yes... I did steal your hoodie. Again. And maybe also your t-shirt. And maybe your pillow. But in my defence, you smiled at me like that and now all your stuff is mine forever. Don’t worry, I’ll give the hoodie back... eventually. The t-shirt? Absolutely not. And while we’re being honest, I love you. Like, annoyingly love you. I trust you. I feel safe with you. And I really, really like the way your clothes smell. So... t...

I Didn’t Know I Was in Love - F4A - Romance - The Moment It All Made Sense

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. Or maybe I did, I just didn’t realise I’d already started. It wasn’t some grand, swooping moment ... it was quiet. Messy. A little sick, a little drunk, and a lot in denial. But now I’m here, under the duvet, in your T-shirt, sipping tea and talking rubbish, and I don’t have to hide it anymore. I love you. Fully, shamelessly, embarrassingly. I’m yours, and not just when the biscuits are good. I think I always was.

✧･ﾟ Meet the ...

I Can’t, I Just Can’t - F4A - Emotional - Saying Nothing Is Breaking Me

I can’t sleep. Again. You’re in my head and I can’t get you out. I’ve tried everything... distractions, silence, even pretending you never meant that much. But you do. You do and you don’t even know. I stare at the ceiling and whisper your name like it might answer back. I trace your voice in my memory and pretend it’s real. I want to ask if you think of me too. I want to believe I matter to you. But if I ask, I ruin everything. So I stay here, quiet. Obsessing. Imagining. Loving ...

🚫 INTERNET STATUS: EX-INTERNET 🚫

It brings me no joy to inform you that my internet is, officially and unequivocally... dead.
Not pining. Not resting. Not having a little lie-down.

Dead.

This is not a temporary outage. This is not a "have you tried turning it off and on again?" situation.
This is an Ex-Internet. It has ceased to be. It has shuffled off this digital coil and joined the choir invisible. It is, in short, bereft of signal, pushing up the bandwidth daisies. It i...

The Alpaca in the Room - F4A - Comedy - When Jealousy Gets Complicated

Okay, so… funny story? You know Alex, my ex ex, capital-E-X? Ran into them in the supermarket. Totally fine, nothing weird... except they think you and I are dating, which is obviously ridiculous. Right? Right?? Except now I can’t stop thinking about it and you're giving me that look and I’m holding this cushion like a shield and oh my God, why are you so annoyingly attractive when I’m panicking? I didn’t mean to say any of this. Honestly, I came in for bi...

I Am Sexy (Just Not Around You) - F4A - Comedy - Starlet’s Identity Crisis

I’m fine. Really. I’m just… not caffeinated. Or maybe I’m too caffeinated. It’s all the same now, isn’t it? The press, the coffee, the pretending... it’s exhausting. But you, you, had to show up with biscuits and tea and that face, and suddenly I’m confessing feelings I didn’t mean to say out loud. I didn’t want this. I wanted to flirt with you like a normal human... not stammer through half a meltdown in my Pikachu pyjamas. You know me too well, and that’s the ...

The Almost Goodbye - F4A - Romance - Leaving Was Easier Before You Smiled

I told myself I could sneak out. That I’d wriggle free of your arms, find my clothes, and vanish into the morning like a ninja in your t-shirt. But then you made that sleepy little sigh and everything... fell apart. Literally. I fell out of bed. And then I fell for you again, even harder than last night. I want awkward, I need awkward, because awkward means there’s still distance. But you just keep smiling. And I’m still here. Wearing your shirt. Cooking breakfast. Maybe in love. Defini...

Flirting Is Not a Free Action - F4A - Romance - And Neither Is Murder Apparently

So, um… I may have… accidentally murdered the plot. And a sorceress. Okay, not accidentally. But she was flirting with you and I just... look, it made perfect sense in character. That’s not the point. The point is… I was jealous. Because Emma was all over you earlier and I had to sit there and pretend like I didn’t care when all I wanted was to throw a fireball at her, not the NPC. And now I’m confessing? Oh gods. Oh no. I think this counts as a charisma...

Monday Is Rude, But You’re Brilliant

Hello, you magnificent Henchcutie.

This is your gently shrieked reminder, delivered on yet another Monday morning that absolutely no one asked for, that you’re doing fine. Truly. Even if everything feels like it’s held together with tape, tea, and silent screaming.

Whatever mess is clinging to your ankles this week, it doesn’t change the fact that you are brilliant, necessary, and deeply appreciated (even if your inbox doesn’t say so). The nonsense weighing you do...

I’m Too Emotionally Attached, Sorry - F4A - Comedy - So Now I Must Leave You Forever

Okay, okay, deep breath… This is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. We are… okay, not fine. That’s the point. Because this was supposed to be casual, right? Easy and breezy and not terrifying? But you’re so… you, and I fell in love with you and now I can’t breathe and I haven’t had tea in five days and you’re touching me and I can’t think when you do that! So… I’m breaking up with you. Except you said you love me and now I don’t know w...

A Cage of Your Own Making - F4A - Supernatural - Now You Can’t Leave

Oh darling… you built a cage to keep me out. That’s adorable. You thought metal and sparks could stop love? That this little box would undo everything we are? I died for you. I tore my soul apart for you. And now look, you've locked yourself in with nothing but the sound of me breathing just outside the walls. You can’t leave. You won’t leave. I’m still here. I always will be. Just one step behind. Forever.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 Speake...

World Domination Planning Request (Totally Casual)

Hello my darling Henchcuties,

As a not-at-all reluctant member of the League of Evil (please see previous memos, signed declarations, and the time I was voluntold), it is apparently expected that I spend my days plotting and scheming and generally looking very powerful while holding a cup of tea and saying things like “soon”.

And look, I have tried.
I even bought a notebook that says “World Domination Plans” ...

🍅 ANNOUNCEMENT FROM YOUR SUPREME OVERLORD (OF QUESTIONABLE PRIORITIES) 🍅

Esteemed Henchcuties,

A message from your ever-regretfully-in-charge Supreme Overlord of Adorable Chaos, Breaker of Coffee Mugs, Wielder of the Glitter Pen, Patron Saint of Poor Decisions, Mistress of the Unfiled Paperwork, Snugglelord of the Soft Rebellion, CEO of Mild Mayhem, Commander of the Henchcuties, She Who Forgets the Plan Mid-Sentence, Mother of Gremlins, High Duchess of Blanket Fort Strategy, and Unwilling Face of the League of Evil,

Wayward.

Let ...

Choose Wisely, Or I’ll Cry (About Thumbnails)

Right then, help a girl out:

Which of these bloody font combos do we like for thumbnails?

It’s the headline and the subtitle we’re judging, not the spacing or sizing or cosmic alignment.

So, my little henchcuties… what’s the verdict? Go on, have opinions.

2025-07-19 23:54:39 +0000 UTC View Post

You Suggest, I Regret (Eventually)

Time for an Audio Suggestion Livestream!

That’s right. You bring the weird little ideas, and I make concerned sounds while trying to keep a straight face.

Starts at 8PM BST. Bring tea. Bring curiosity. Bring... restraint? (Optional.)

Let’s make something oddly delightful.

https://youtube.com/live/E4PvcQlVWfE

2025-07-19 18:54:49 +0000 UTC View Post

You Look So Cosy in Your Little Cage - F4A - Dark Romance - You Can’t Stay Hidden Forever

You look so comfortable here. So sweet in your little cottage, playing house like you belong in this quiet life. You thought they could hide you from me. You thought you could leave me dead and grieving while they turned you into someone else. Darling, there was no trace. None. And that’s what gave you away. I’ve hacked their bugs, I’ve broken their plan, and now I’m here to bring you home. You don’t need this lie anymore. You need me. You’ve always needed me.

✧･ﾟ Meet...

Stop Texting Ghosts - F4A - Comfort - Temptation to Reconnect With an Ex

You’re thinking about messaging them again, aren’t you? I can see it all over your face. That ache in your chest, that voice in your head whispering just one more text, one more night, one more try. But I need you to hear me. What you’re chasing isn't them... it’s the version of them you invented to survive the silence. I love you too much to let you walk back into that fire. So sit down, sweetheart. Let’s talk about the truth you don’t want to hear.

✧･ﾟ Meet ...

Slow Death Protocol - F4A - Sci-Fi - She’s In Your System Now

You woke up, but you’re not awake. Not really. This is all in your head, which makes me very real to you. I’ve been here for some time now, watching you sleep, watching you dream. That’s how I knew something was wrong. You never dream in cryo. But then again, you never used to kill the women who loved you either. So here we are. Your vitals are mine now, your sleep is mine now, and I have so much to say before I slowly shut you down.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players �...

Bed, Bath and Beyond Boundaries - F4A - Psychological Thriller - The Madness Began in a Moment

It was just a glance. That’s all it took. One moment, one flicker of your eyes, and suddenly my world collapsed and rebuilt itself around you. I didn’t mean to fall this deep. I really didn’t. But you don’t get to choose what breaks you, or who becomes your oxygen. So I followed. I learned. I loved from afar... until I couldn't stay distant any longer. Now you’re here. With me. And you’ll see, eventually, that I was right. That we belong like this. Together. Always.

✧･�...

Shut Up I Love Your Voice - F4A - Romance - No Seriously, Say It Again Right Now

I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Well… maybe I did. I heard you reading and everything in me just went quiet, like my whole awful day folded in on itself and only your voice was left. You don’t know what you sound like, do you? Not really. You think it’s awkward or plain or forgettable, but I swear it’s the one thing I can never get enough of. I’m not trying to scare you, but I’ve got it really, really bad. And if you’d just read to me again… I think I might actually survive this...

Let the Doubt Stand at the Door - F4A - Comfort - Reassurance for the Emotionally Overwhelmed

I know it’s late. I know you're quiet, curled in on yourself like the world has collapsed again, but I don’t need you to speak. Not tonight. Just listen. Let me say all the things you’ve forgotten, all the things you won’t let yourself believe. You are enough, even now. Especially now. I can’t fix what’s broken, but I can hold you in all your ruin and whisper until you stop flinching from love. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t even have to be okay. You just have to be h...

Just Smoky Shades of Grey - F4A - Fantasy Romance - If You Stay, She Won’t Stay to Watch

I’ve watched you wear that mask for so long I almost forgot what your real face looks like. But tonight… no more lies. You hate your life. You hate the chains you call duty. And I? I’m the chaos you won’t admit you crave. I’ve come to offer you a way out — no tricks, no traps. Just me. My love. My wildness. My freedom. You don’t have to stay and rot in that golden prison. But if you do… I won’t stay and watch.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 2025-07-17 23:09:00 +0000 UTC View Post

Livestreams in the Time of Mild Disaster

New livestream schedule (yes, again)
Because I hate life and, quite fairly, it hates me right back.
Also... one of them’s a quiz night now. So that’ll be... something.

19/07/2025 - Audio Suggestion Livestream @ 20:00 BST
23/07/2025 - Wayward Quiz Night Livestream @ 20:00 BST
26/07/2025 - Wayward Livestream (the usual mess) @ 20:00 BST
30/07/2025 - Wayward Livestream (still just me, be...

No Tea Left to Save Us - F4A - Comedy - The End Begins With a Biscuit

Look, I just wanted to give up tea for a month. A month. That’s it. But now you’re muttering about the end of the world and doing a bloody stock take. Then you tell me you’re in a secret society, I’m the Chosen One, and the world goes to hell the moment I stop dunking biscuits. There’s magical tea now. Demons. Apparently this all kicks off because I bought fruit instead of custard creams. If this is the end of the world, it’s a very British one, and apparently it’s ...