
Nobody is old enough to remember early MTV anymore, but its style of insanity would seem instantly familiar. There were new ways to measure "success" and a free-for-all scramble for it. Things could be popular because they were insane or terrible. The impo...
2023-01-27 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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You know how our grandparents’ Halloween costumes are chilling for the wrong reason these days? Some kid’s rabbit mask was cute in the Depression, but looks like the hotel-ghost of a serial killer now. That was Buster Brown. He was early 20th century...
2023-01-26 13:01:00 +0000 UTC
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Seanbaby does the inevitable: He makes two 1900HOTDOG employees knife fight in the parking lot. In book form! Who will prevail, Lydia Bugg, with her honor and fundamentals? Or Brockway, with his scumbag immorality and willingness to exploit street orphans?
2023-01-25 13:01:02 +0000 UTC
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It's Dogg Zzone 9000 Day, and this week we are talking to our very own Lydia Bugg! We brainstormed on a fascinating topic she would love, and we both instantly and simultaneously sa...
2023-01-25 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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I love showing people the worst Rick Reilly column of all time (this one about Lance Armstrong).
2023-01-24 13:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Albert Einstein once said, "Creativity is seeing what others see and thinking what no one else ever thought." That quote reminds me that one day some mad genius looked at a dog and a top hat, and thought, I'm going to combine these things to create the m...
2023-01-23 13:01:00 +0000 UTC
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"The universe isn't irreparably corrupted by darkness," you say. But you're wrong. In 1991 someone made a movie called F.A.R.T. The Movie. "We can come back from that," you say. But you're wrong again. In 2000 someone else made ...
2023-01-20 13:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Touch the ground, does it feel deep, lush, just a bit crusty? Smell the air, do you detect the faint perfume of bongwater and cum? Look around, does the whole world seem just a little bit more rad, and a lot less safe? That’s because Van Day approaches...
2023-01-19 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Brockway plays a WikiWhy with Seanbaby and horror author Max Booth. It's an impossible mystery about leaving markers, spreading pain, and writing poetry, will they solve it and win Brockway's magical amulet? Of course not. The game is always rigged.
2023-01-18 13:01:02 +0000 UTC
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This week on the Dogg Zzone 9000, we’re talking with horror author and publisher Max Booth, of Perpetual Mo...
2023-01-18 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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The birth, sterilization, and death of slang is a fun cycle. According to my staff, “banger” has about two weeks left. I’m proud to bring you the last banger.
2023-01-17 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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The only thing children love more than toys are toys that remind them all playtime occurs under the watchful gaze of a powerful and vengeful God. Aw, are those plastic giraffes kissing? Then they better be married, or they'll burn for eternity in Giraffe...
2023-01-16 13:00:59 +0000 UTC
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Today we're talking about The Girl Watcher. It was a magazine about exactly what you think that ran from 1959 to 1959, and it will come as a great comfort to know its audience must now be tethered to a hydraulic water pump in order to maintain a...
2023-01-13 13:01:00 +0000 UTC
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Captain Pronin was a short-run Russian action-comedy parody cartoon from 1992, and the only words I’m not half-sarcastic about are “Russian” and “1992.” It’s kind of like an experimental animation you’d find on early MTV, but the complete p...
2023-01-12 13:00:05 +0000 UTC
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Seanbaby hexes Brockway and Todd in the Shadows to discern 14 witch secrets, or live forever as two heads on one body! Which is the clean head!? Which, the sloppy one!? Let us hope they never find out these terrible truths.
2023-01-11 13:01:01 +0000 UTC
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Let's imagine the majesty of Christ has compelled you to spread His message through the snapping of baseball bats and the mighty blowing of hot water bottles. Let's imagine you say yes. Now let's imagine you, the person making all these sane decisions, s...
2023-01-11 13:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Hello and Hot Dog, I found a nother pretty good book to tell you about and maybe we can learn something you can use in your own lives, together, again. Its another one that i locally sourced from the “Sexuality” section of the Friends of the Library ...
2023-01-10 13:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Over the Holiday break, I got to open a time capsule from my great uncles' basement. Unfortunately, my great uncle was not a cool guy, so he thought the most important artifacts the future needed were some empty whisky bottles, an apron with a buff Richa...
2023-01-09 13:01:00 +0000 UTC
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I've read a lot of books by wrong, deluded fools, but it's very special to find a book like 2012's HOW TO DATE A JAMAICAN MAN. This author has no idea what she's doing, and you're going to love it. It's got the racially charged penis descriptions ...
2023-01-06 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Welcome, đźŚs, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we play a two-necked guitar together, one to each neck.
But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are...
2023-01-05 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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Brockway brought the shootinest bigfeet tales for the main podcast, but he saved the really sexy ones for the bonus episode. Are Seanbaby, Drew Toothpaste, and Natalie Dee ready for Bigfoot... Nights?
2023-01-04 13:01:01 +0000 UTC
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This week we’re talking to fellow ancient internet comedians Drew Toothpaste and Natalie Dee, who created ...
2023-01-04 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Christmas is the time for tantalizing visions of sugar plums choking our unwanted loved ones. Unbound by mighty Death from our obligation to care for them, we enjoy our freedom as mail couriers riding the rails of the American west. Though trains frequ...
2023-01-03 13:00:02 +0000 UTC
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In 1995 Quentin Tarantino was famous enough to do pretty much anything he wanted, which is why it's super confusing that he decided to play a bit part in what had to be one of the worst movies to come out that year, Destiny Turns On The Radio. I...
2023-01-02 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Brockway: Everyone has a favorite western celebrity in a Japanese commercial. Remember the one where Arnold Schwarzenegger screams until his head explodes, and he becomes god? I think it’s for energy drinks? Oh shit, what about the one...
2022-12-30 13:00:59 +0000 UTC
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Seanbaby: "One person says something awesome, then the other does, only it's not really an interview or a dialog."
Brockway: "Congratulations, fucker. You beautiful fucker. You just invented Teamworking Day; the
2022-12-29 13:01:00 +0000 UTC
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There is no Zzone higher than the Dogg Zzone 9000, and we proved it in 2022. Picking only six of our best episodes was impossible, so we picked five. Here they are, in chronologica...
2022-12-28 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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We built a site that updates with bespoke madness 5 times a week, and one of those days is several hours of podcasting, and you fine folks saw all that and said “not nearly enough!” You savage Hot Doggers did some incredible things this year. You’v...
2022-12-27 13:00:03 +0000 UTC
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We have no idea where Sissyneck came from, and God help you if you’re trying to figure out where he’s going. Leading theories say he’s A) a Cracked writer in kayfabe, B) a loose maniac, or C) Daniel Day-Lewis studying for a new role. We don’t kno...
2022-12-26 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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Nobody tell Dennard that he’s too talented for our site. He’s a regular contributor to The New Yorker, he writes 2022-12-23 13:00:04 +0000 UTC
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