ideotvpod

Friends-Only Post No. 20: Last Night

WOW!

"What has happened lately, J. and Clsn?" you yowl, happily -- and, more happily, your weeping and making sad (but happy) sounds, have been heard by your hosts here at The Only Podcast That Cares! We, your hosts, stand before you, thrillingly able to update you on such engaging engagements -- and, more happily, we stand before you willing to update you on such engaging engagements!

Yes.

So. What has happened of late? Well, J. and Clsn had the pleasure and honor...

Friends-Only Post No. 19: Voices in the Night

START

Long, hard, bad day today, friends, so please forgive an email with much shortness. I hope you will indulge me, and I hope these sounds will get me out of the trouble I am no doubt in with you.

So without additional typing, please enjoy the following brief .mp3 files, ripped ripplesome from the unquiet breast of episode 65, FOREVER PUCKED...

Friends-Only Episode 5, HARD PASS(ES)

Welcome!  Come in.  Sit down.  We ... have been waiting for you.  We're so pleased you've arrived.

This episode, just for you, we're going to school on the topic of "some books we'll just never touch" -- but!  never fear: it turns out that the school we're going to is DeGressionary High!  So it's a good time, with a wealth of tidbits for your listening ecstasy.  Want to know how we're more like Ozzy Osborne than you might have thought?  This is your mome...

Friends-Only Post No. 18: Far, Fair, Free

Hello, friends --

Not a lot of book-related material to discuss this time, alas! We haven't recorded the next episode or anything -- though we are ready, willing, raring to do so -- so there aren't any insider details to divulge this time around. But! J. has only just now returned from L.A. Podfest, where he performed meetings, greetings, RECORDINGS, etc., whereof he furtheringly reports that he is confident that he saw a million faces -- and rocked them all.

Much mor...

Friends-Only Post No. 17: Levels to This Shit

HIT IT FAST LEAVE NO TRACE NO REGRETS

Last episode, we dove deep -- so deep, put a butt to sleep -- into LEVEL 26, but it has to be said that the crowd cried out for more, more, more. So here is the additional demanded of us by your plentiful cries.

First, not all accepted our rough account of the origin of the name "Sqweegel". More's the pity (and marzipan is shitty). Here is what we know:

"No," Riggins said. "The name came from one of his earliest murders --...

Let's get pucked! FOREVER PUCKED!

Okay, all -- as determined by you, by a margin of more than two to one, our next book will be Forever Pucked!  Thanks for voting, and we look forward to enjoying the ribald tale of a woman, a man, his hockey stick, and some other things, probably, we conjecture.

Voting is closed!

Book announcement to come.  Please anticipate it!

In the meantime, You Can enjoy this song.

Friends-Only Post No. 16: You Must Choose

THE FUTURE IS WHERE WE'RE ALL GOING

Let's do this fast and deep; let's talk about the future.

1. We Are Soon
performing LIVE at a LIVE SHOW. You will want details.

Thanks to the great Lauren Parker, J. and Clsn will be contributing to Litquake, by reading bad reviews of good books at:
The Make-Out Room
3225 22nd St.
San Francisco, CA 94110

Saturday, October 8, 2016, 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m....

Friends-Only Post No. 15: Liking This No Lack of Lake

INTRODUCTIONALIZING MAUNDERINGS

Greetings, friends -- and apologies for the lateness of this missive. It happens that I am on vacation, spending most of my days near a lake with an actually good book to hand (Helen DeWitt, what up?), or cornfused and cornfounded by a corn maze (see images, anent), and legitimately forgetting what day it may / may not be.


WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

But! Because J. rules and because we are The Only Podcast Who Cares, ...

New Episode! DragonLance!

http://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/2016/09/04/063-dragons-of-autumn-twilight-dragonlance-chronicles-vol-1/http://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/2016/09/04/063-dragons-of-autumn-twilight-dragonlance...

Friends-Only Episode 4, Heavy Metal

Let's try some Heavy Metal! It is time to rock and roll with the most embarrassing purchase Clsn has had to make in downtown Oakland in quite. Some. Time. Join J., who has literally never seen an issue of this "world's greatest illustrated magazine" before, and Clsn, who has seen at least two issues, as they attempt to turn baffled, hostile glaring silently at a magazine into baffled, hostile podcasting gold!

J. would like you to know that he might, just might, have been a tad ...

Friends-Only Post No. 14: Yet Still More Extras, Even

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Last week was hecka busy at the old IDEOTVPOD distributed compound! We recorded the next episode, and then, not at all sated, we recorded the next friends-only episode -- the most literary friends-only episode yet!

Without spoiling the impending surprise, the keywords for those episodes are:

* dwarfsplaining
* sex


EXTRAS TIME!

1. David Fakelastname has provided some 2016-08-30 05:06:37 +0000 UTC View Post

New Episode! DUH Vinci Code! With Guests!

http://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/2016/08/22/da-vinci-code-lauren-oneal-niko/

It had to happen eventually! Maybe the best-selling bad book of all time, The Da Vinci Code builds in all the thrills of a freshman-year art history survey course taught by a smug dink, all the chills of that smug dink taking time to instruct his students on the finer points of sex...

Friends-Only Post No. 13: Extra Errata

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Well, it finally happened. We finally did The Da Vinci Code. Those of you most familiar with the ancient codices presumably saw this coming, and probably applied yourselves either to attempts at speeding its release or attempts to suppressing it forever. (If the latter: Hey, what's up with that? It's just one episode, jeez.)

As I covered last week, this book left me one flummoxed lummox. As I look at my notes, I find only the disjoin...

Friends-Only Post No. 12: Spiel

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Up basically early, basically packed and prepared, and out the door basically quickly. Didn't even have to make coffee, because the thermos still had yesterday's batch in, nearly warm still. Hurry-up-and-wait-dance at the worst car rental place in my beloved Oakland, where every transaction comes with four handshakes, endless upsells, and way too much eye contact for something that's not actually a cult. First thing they say is "wait's going to be ab...

August Merch Mailed To-Day

Hi, all --

I (Clsn) finally made it to the post office today (the beautiful downtown one, in Oakland, instead of the smaller one by the lake I usually go to) and got everybody's August merch in the mail.  Big apologies for being so tardy!  If you're expecting something and haven't seen it, email me (cfcollision at gmail) and I'll make it right.

Thanks!

-Clsn

Friends-Only Post No. 11: Network Effects

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

First, Lemon would like to announce that he is in fact a fan of the Dandy Warhols, in that if they come on, he does not turn them off. He apologizes to Courtney Taylor-Taylor for lumping him in with Corey "Fucking" Taylor and regrets any offense given.

Second, a fun behind-the-scenes factoid about recording podcasts: when Lemon is on the show, J. has to make two tracks for him; a normal Lemon one, and a special "Lemon (Quieter)" track ...

The Votes Are In! The Friends Have Spoken!

And what they have said is "weird genre"! 

As always, our friends' wishes are our commands.  (Not really.)  But this one is coming, and you're gonna like the heck out of it.  Stay tuned!

Friends-Only Post No. 10: Skyward in Triumph

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

By the time you get around to reading this, it is likely that our third Friends-Only Episode will be live and uncut and enjoyable by your ears! Want to check it out? Just jaunt on over to our Patreon (or our special

Friend Zone

on the site) and log on in!

We also recorded our next regular episode today, and it was On Fire. We had

Friends-Only Episode 3, MegaForce

Let's ride! Set controls for the heart of the '80s and get ready to taste the clean flavors of good guys winning! Grab a beverage and savor the tang of the most presumably unintentionally homosocial movie any of you have ever sat thru! Make yourselves comfortable and endure J. and Collision heading back to the movies in their most argumentative and contentious episode ever.

If you ever wanted to hear Collision get really annoyingly enthusiastic about the rocket motorcycles of his yo...

Equality Florida donation

Hey, all --

As promised, we donated our proceeds for the month to Equality Florida.  Thank you for helping us do this!

-Clsn

Friends-Only Post No. 9: Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Last episode, we introduced you to shooting star Mack Bolan, The Executioner! We got a lot of feedback and we got it in a hurry, so let's get down to it, boppers.

First, somebody took us to task for not mentioning clumsy Bolan rip-off The Punisher, a character that neither J. nor I give the thinnest sliver of a shit about. That said, we live to serve, so we rapidly convened an extra-special recording session so as to right this wrong.

Sa...

Friends-Only Post No. 8: Contemplations on the Tree of Woe

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

We have been busy, friends. We recorded two separate episodes in a week, scheduled a rip-shit live show, picked our next couple books, lined up a passel of superb guests -- we are pumped as all get-out, and we think you're really going to enjoy what we're getting ready for you.

But dang, I am tired. Gonna take a couple days off, go off into the woods and try to forget I own a phone, you know? Probably a good idea for all of us now ...

Friends-Only Post No. 7: Milking It for All It's Worth

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Wow. Last episode. Sass Girls X. What can we say!?

That was by a ways the most intense (ly crap) book about alien invasion, gigantism fetishes, video-game aesthetics, and Christian beliefs we've read yet. We tried hard as heck to put everything we had into the episode, but a couple tiny things just! Wouldn't! Fit! So here you go: a little behind-the-scenes insight (and despair).

Two moments that stuck with me parti...

Friends-Only Post No. 6: The Taste of Exclusivity

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Our second Friends-Only Episode dropped! And and and it came with A New Song!

Is it a great song? Yes.

Is it a song that caused one of the harshest and most contentious moments of this podcast partnership thus far? Also yes.

See, here's the thing. J. had this crazy idea that we should "write and record a completely original song, like always." But I, C. Collision, felt we should go another direction. A more ... classic...

Friends-Only Post No. 5: Futurity, Futility, and Fun

WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ETC.

Well, it finally happened. We released an episode about BIG APPLE TAKEDOWN and, truly, the world is different than it was before, on account of our efforts to get deep into a non-book of desperate shallowness. A terrible book plus a great guest (thanks, Kefin!) made for a good dang time recording, and it seems like y'all liked it, so that's cool.

One thing t...

Friends-Only Episode 2, DOOM

Nothing but the best for our friends, as we sit down in the darkening gloom and endure the Extra Special Unrated Edition of ... Doom. Scientists! Space marines! Sweaty men! Well-crafted sets! Monsters you can't see because the movie is very dark so you can't see the monsters! Uh ... guns? Big guns? REALLY LOUD big guns? ...did we mention sweaty men?

If you like laughing, solid episode -- we find ourselves stretching to find the good in icons responsible for formative music and...

Friends-Only Post No. 4: Friends and Affirmations

Mellow greetings to you, friend of IDEOTVPOD. We hope this friends-only missive finds you well!

Your humble (and humorous) hosts recline in dank preparation for their show-related tattoos, satisfying our Dark Pledge, which documentation will follow and we do duly implore you to anticipate it. Appointments are being made. Loins are being girded.

Yes.

In other news, it appears as though the appetite for self-destruction enjoyed by one's average voter is ... big. (We'r...

IMPORTANT NEWS!

Patreon is a very cool website but we know that some of you don't like being tied to the Patreon app in order to listen to the bonus episodes. So, with a new episode on the horizon, I decided to put on my ol' web development gloves and build a site where you can find and download these files as mp3's and do what you like with them.

http://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/donors is the url to hit. you'r...

Friends-Only Post No. 3: We Have to Do Something

Hi, all--

No need to belabor the point, but this has been a pretty damned rough week. With the horrific shooting in Orlando and another in downtown Oakland, it feels like a frightening, sad, and bad time.

But we have to do something. We can't do nothing. So this month, all our proceeds are going to Equality Florida--so if you've been on the fence about picking up a shirt or another koozie, or if you've been meaning to bug somebody else about pi...