fullparagon

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 13

Animula Choragi 13: What is This Feeling? 

Sitting backstage, Furina cradled her Vision in her hands, its soft blue glow bathing her face. After all this time, after hundreds of years…she had a Vision.

Well, she had a fake one. Despite all appearances to the contrary, including the concentrated elemental energy within, this wasn’t a Vision. Furina could tell that this wasn’t giving her access to powers, though she had felt something unlock as soon as it fell into her hands. 

Correct. I made this one myself. I suppose it is a symbol of our connection my dear, but it is false. 

“It’s beautiful. I love it,” Furina whispered. 

“-well I’m her lawyer, so you ARE going to let me through. So ein Mist! I have my own Vision right here!” 

Furina blinked and looked up, to where a small commotion was taking place. It seemed that Emile was trying to block a very frustrated Yennifer from coming backstage, along with a few of the stagehands. She hastily stood up, clutching the Vision in one hand and hurried over. 

“Emile! It’s alright, that’s my roommate!” Furina said hastily. “She’s the first one to ever get a Hydro Vision!” 

Emile glanced at Furina, then back at Yennifer, who had started glowing slightly with absorbed Hydro Energy. Right behind her was Charlotte, who had her camera out and a manic grin on her face, which probably wasn’t helping things. 

“They’re not just paparazzi?” Emile asked. He was interrupted by a loud squeal and a Barbara sized blur streaking past him to tackle Charlotte in a hug. 

“You were AMAZING!” Charlotte shrieked in an equally shrill voice as the two girls danced up and down. 

“I was only OK, did you get it?! Did you get it all on camera!? Tell me you got it on camera!” Barbara begged. 

“Oh please,” Charlotte put her hand on her breast and winked. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“We were trying to confiscate the girl’s camera, there’s no photography or filmmaking in the audience!” Emile said in exasperation. 

“Of the play, sure, but this was for Furina getting her Vision!” Charlotte said, adjusting her glasses. “We’re allowed to get photos with the cast, right?”

“Charlotte is my friend, Emile! It’s alright!” Barbara huffed.

Yennifer groaned and rubbed the bridge of her nose, then gave a small shrug and smiled at Furina, who stepped forward. Yennifer took Furina by the hands, and asked quietly, “How do you feel?”

“Overwhelmed,” Furina admitted, tears coming to her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting…I never thought…me? A Vision?”

“I’d ask if you heard the Hydro Archon, but I am fairly certain everyone heard her this time. Seems she wanted her own share of the spotlight,” Yennifer chuckled.

Hmph. I merely wished to acknowledge how wonderful my daughter is. This is your moment, Furina, not mine. 

It was a bit much.

So you didn’t like it, then?

Oh, no, it was perfect! Excellent timing! I do wonder, is it possible to make sure all moments a mortal gets their Vision are so inspiring?

Ohoho! I do my best. Most of the others have no sense of dramatic timing. I, on the other hand, like to think I have more discerning taste. Yennifer’s was a nice trick I think, but still not my best work. My hand was rather forced. That brat is more than a tad annoying.

Be nice to Charlotte, she tries. 

Even as she was talking to Focalors, Furina was sharing an embrace with Yennifer. “There’s supposed to be a cast party. You should come!”

“It really should wait. The authorities are going to be looking for you,” Yennifer said, biting her lip.

“Well tell them d'aller se faire enculer,” Marcel growled, hurrying up to Furina. “You were magnificent! Incredible! And then, to cap it all off, Heaven itself acknowledges you!? We’ll be sold out for MONTHS!” 

“I think everyone did a spectacular job. Barbara was inspired as Cosette, and Julien was amazing as Jean Valjean,” Furina said, trying to give credit to the other cast members. 

“They were good. You were…” Marcel reached his hands up, as if trying to grasp something. “...Divine.”

“Focalors seems to agree,” Yennifer said, nodding to Furina’s vision. “I’m shocked our minds are so aligned.”

Furina colored slightly. She wanted to tell Yennifer that was because Furina herself had given Yennifer her Vision, and this was merely a bit of theater to keep the bluff going. However…she was all too familiar with playing a part alone on the stage. Only…only she didn’t wish to be alone any longer…

I am with you, Furina. Fear not. Neither of us need play this out in isolation this time. 

Yes. Thank you, mother. It’s just…I wish I could confide in Yennifer. 

To do so would draw the eyes of the False Sustainer. You know what a risk it would be to her. 

Yes, I have seen your old plan now. It really was the only way, wasn’t it?

Would that there had been another. But yes. I fear, once more, you must be a star unsung. At least until this play reaches its climax. 

“Well, both of us have a thirst for Justice, and a bit of a dramatic flair,” Furina stammered. “I-”

“JULIE!” Ling cried, and Furina turned to see Chef Mao and his daughter embracing Julie, who was crying on their shoulders. “You were incredible! I knew you could sing, but WOW! Just you wait, you’ll be getting your own show in no time!” 

“Thank you, I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to perform,” Julie said, drying her eyes and accepting a bouquet of flowers from her uncle. 

“Ha! You showed these foreign devils that we Chinese can perform as well as any of them! Too bad you can’t sing in Cantonese,” Chef Mao remarked, fortunately in the same language, so that Furina was likely the only other one who could understand them. 

“Hey! Furina!” Ling ran over, dragging Julie behind her. “You were AWESOME! Amazing! That song…it made me cry all over again! Dad was having to pretend he was alright, but I could see him blubbering too!”

“I wasn’t crying, I’d just been chopping onions,” Mao grunted, then grinned to show he was kidding. “You were wonderful, Furina.”

“Thank you both, I’m so glad you could come,” Furina said, accepting another bouquet, nearly as large as Julie’s, from Chef Mao. “I…I think I might need to turn in my resignation.”

“No good. You’ll have to come in on Monday,” Chef Mao said sternly, and Furina wilted slightly at his glare. Then he grinned. “We’re having a party! Tell all your fellow actors to come! The restaurant is closed, but Ling and I will make a proper feast for you all! And of course, vegetarian options for Charlotte and Yennifer.”

The two in question were looking somewhat blankly at Mao, who had said all that in Cantonese. Furina hastily translated, and both smiled. 

“Of course we’ll be there! Don’t worry, I already posted the video of you getting your Vision, Furina. On your channel, too, of course.”

Furina blinked at that. “What? But why?” 

“Are you serious!? This is INCREDIBLE! It was like that one scene in the Bible and everything! I know that, and I haven’t even read the damn thing. Yen just makes me go on Easter and stuff. Actually, they were talking about it the morning you arrived.”

Well, I’m glad someone picked up the reference. Perhaps this one is mildly tolerable after all. 

Please tell me you didn’t. 

Oh I most certainly did. Literary references are all the rage, my dear. And if these people are going to accept you as their god, we need to lay the foundation! Plus, it’s from a baptism! If that isn’t just completely perfect for you I simply don’t know what is. 

But I don’t want to be a god…

A bit late for that, hmmm? 

Word quickly spread of the party at Wanmin restaurant. Most of the cast already knew that both of them had been working there, even during rehearsals, so most everyone was rather eager to try the food they’d both gushed over. 

“Are they still going to make you wait tables even with that thing now?” Thomas, who played Javert, teased. He was tall and darkly handsome, and unlike the character he portrayed, Thomas was ready with a laugh and didn’t take himself very seriously. 

“I’ll have to serve you all at least once! Besides, I’m not rich yet,” Furina laughed. 

“You will be,” Julien said, nodding soberly to Furina, the effect amplified by the fact that he still had on his makeup as the elderly Jean Valjean. “We can all see it. Some of us might be good, but you? You’re the one we’ll spend the rest of our careers saying, ‘I acted beside Furina de Fontaine.’”

Furina tried to laugh it off, but the words had the ring of prophecy in her ears. She glanced over to see Barbara, looking near to tears, a bouquet of roses in her hands as she hugged her mother. She couldn’t hear over the noise, but-

Oh, let me fix that. 

“You came. You really came, Mère.” 

“Of course I did. I told you I would. Nothing in the world could have kept me from seeing you perform tonight. You were a star, Barbara. I confess, I used to think these videos and songs of yours were just a bit of childish fun, but tonight, I saw a future star.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just see Furina?” Barbara hiccuped, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. 

“I had eyes only for you, Barbara. You’ll have my full support in this. I can tell that this is your dream,” Jeanne said, helping to wipe away a few of her daughter’s tears. “Now, I’ve spoken with Ms. Lustria. She will escort you to the party, and I’m certain Furina will keep an eye on you as well.”

“You’re not coming?” Barbara said, sounding very disappointed. 

“I’m sorry. I wish I could, but there is always work to be done. Helsinki has fallen, or will fall in the next few hours. It’s a time of crisis, and I need to be ready to respond.”

“You’re just the mayor! Surely that isn’t your problem.”

“Protecting France is my problem, Barbara. Ensuring that the light of Freedom does not die is my duty. It’s one I cannot put down. Remember why they killed your father: I cannot forget his memory…”

A green swirl of power seemed to wrap about Jeanne, and Focalors let out a frustrated huff. 

Oh, he would steal that one. Very well, but the daughter is yours. Don’t you dare let that lush of a bard steal her!

In times of Tyranny, the Wind does not fade, and you will not pause in your duty. 

Against the storm of oppression and the woes of war, you stand proud, a guardian of the people.

Though your heritage is that of kings, you make yourself a Servant; your ambition is for equality. 

Let your Vision Guide you, Daughter of the Republic. 

Jeanne lifted up a hand, and from above, a glowing green gem called from the wind, falling into her palm. A hush had fallen over the cast, and all eyes turned to regard Jeanne, who instead of looking shocked, merely appeared solemn as she studied her Vision. 

“Interesting. I had not thought…but I am merely a servant of the people,” Jeanne said, almost to herself. 

Funny, how often we see the same mortals, eh? I see you’ve picked up one you recognize as well! Interesting! Well, take good care of Jeanne. And try to make sure she has a little fun now and then. She’s always pushing herself too hard!

Furina nearly jumped out of her skin as a glowing green wind sprite manifested next to her left shoulder. “L-Lord Barbatos!? But, you- You can’t be here!” 

Hrmph. Well, I suppose I couldn’t expect to fool you for long. Focalors grumbled, appearing as a small oceanid over Furina’s right shoulder. 

You had me for a bit there! But even I know the name of Furina de Fontaine! Wasn’t too hard to piece things together. I have to say, that trick with giving yourself a Vision? Inspired! I’ve used the same disguise, but doing it on stage like that? An excellent performance! 

“You, you two can’t be here! People will see!” Furina hissed, her eyes darting about. Then, she paused. Everyone else appeared frozen in time, even Jeanne, who continued to gaze into her Vision solemnly. “Or, wait. Did you do something?”

Ehe! Just a little bit of Chronomancy. I’m still weakened, but I figured this was as good an excuse as any to pop in and say hi! 

More like you wanted to steal away my Mayor before Furina could give her a Vision. 

Hey, she earned it! That kind of self sacrifice in the name of freedom combined with deep loss? How could I stay away!?

Furina sighed. “I’m never going to get used to this…”

It takes a bit. Took me a millenia or two before I really grew into my powers. Even then, it’s a tad uncomfortable most of the time. That’s why I spend most of my time as a simple bard! Much more fun that way. 

“I’m sure,” Furina said, then looked around. “Please tell me the Raiden Shogun isn’t going to show up at the bar for the party, or the Tsaritsa will be hiding under my bed.”

Hardly. Beelzebul was always blind and deaf to anything that didn’t involve a military campaign, and that impudent brat of Cocolia’s…well. She’s still taking a nap last I checked, which is for the best I suppose.

Don’t be too hard on Bronya. She was thrust into power at a time of great tragedy. Was she the same Tsaritsa you knew?

“I…think so? We talked to Nahida, it’s all a bit confusing. Even the year was a different length on our version of Teyvat,” Furina said, rubbing her head. 

Huh, no kidding? Fascinating! Well, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, I really do still need a few more years of resting. Good seeing you! Oh, just one thing, I take it you’re all aboard the ‘Kill the Sustainer’ plan?

“He plans a great Injustice. How could I stand by and let such happen?” Furina said, shaking her head. “I…I know I’m not very experienced at fighting, but, whatever I can do to help…”

I think you’re doing it already. Fate’s a tricky thing, but if we’re going to have a chance, I know  you’ll be a part of it. Alright, my time is up, toodles! See you at Eurovision!

“Eurovision?” Furina asked, even as the flow of time resumed. 

Oh, yes. I just know you’ll put that overstuffed breeze in his place. Mwahahaha! Oh yes, we’ll show him! 

“Mère?!” Barbara gasped, her eyes wide with shock. 

“It is nothing,” Jeanne said, and actually tucked the Vision away in a pocket of her jacket. “Tonight is about you.” She kissed Barbara on her forehead. “Have fun at the party. We’ll discuss arrangements for your schooling another time.”

“I…yes, Mère,” Barbara managed, clearly stupefied. 

With a nod to Furina and Yennifer, Jeanne departed, a couple of now somewhat superfluous bodyguards trailing behind her. 

“Two in one night?!” Marcel gasped. “What is it, did God himself attend the play?”

Herself. And yes I did. 

Mother…

What? You’re going to need to train these mortals at some point. Some of them already worship you, you just need to channel it in the right direction. 

Well, at least Furina was somewhat used to that kind of attention. She’d rather enjoyed her anonymity while it lasted…even if the first thing she’d done when offered the stage again was sprint for it. 

And the applause of the audience really was like milk and honey to her…

It actually is now. You get a nice little power boost from the faith. Something we’ll need if we’re going to challenge the False Sustainer. So enjoy it! It matters not if worship is offered at the temple, or the opera house. So long as you have their devotion, it’s all the same. 

I’m aware of basic theology, thank you. 

The party was wonderful, especially with Yennifer, Charlotte, Ling, and Chef Mao all there. They had it at a bar not far from the theater, and many a glass was raised in toast. No small number of them for Furina. They laughed, and ate, and drank, save for Barbara and Charlotte, who were limited to two glasses of watered wine since they were only 14. 

The wine, despite Furina’s best intentions, went straight to her head. The more she drank, the more she laughed, and the more she laughed, the more she wanted to drink. Previously, she’d avoided alcohol, but it didn’t seem so pressing now for some reason. After all, wasn’t it part of the act to imbibe? It would be rather suspicious if Furina didn’t.

“What do you mean, you’re out of Bordeaux?!” Marcel shouted, red faced at the bartender. “And the Burgundy!?” 

“We still have some wines, but the ones you requested are out, you’ve drank us nearly dry sir,” the waiter said by way of apology. 

“Wait, hic, wait,” Furina slurred, her vision a little blurry. She had an idea; read it in a book somewhere. “Fill…fill these up with water.”

She took the two wine bottles, which the waiter stared at.

“I have it,” Yennifer said, and holding her vision, caused a stream of water to go into both bottles. Perfect. That water would already be imbued with elemental energy!

“Great! Now…watch! I gots…I gots a magic trick!” Furina said, then waved her hands over the bottles. Drawing on a bit of the divine power she now had, Furina easily changed the liquid to that of wine.

In the back of her head, Focalors started laughing. Had she done it wrong? Furina took the bottle and poured herself a glass, then tasted it. It seemed fine to her. 

The party, previously raucous, had gone silent. Everyone was gaping at her, save Charlotte, who had gotten out her camera and was snapping away. 

“See?” Furina said, holding it up, and feeling suddenly sober. “A perfect Burgundy! Help yourself!”

“Nom de Dieu, she can turn water into wine too?!” Emile gasped, his face pale. 

“Um…” Furina paused, racking her brain. That…that was something Hydro Vision holders could do…couldn’t they?

Oh no it most certainly is not. 

“Don’t tell me your parents' names are Marie and José ,” Marcel said, taking a bottle and pouring a glass for himself.

“Er…that is what it says on my birth certificate,” Furina admitted. 

Marcel choked, spilling wine over himself as he looked up at Furina in shock. 

“And was your mother a virgin too?” Marcel sputtered, trying to wipe himself off. 

H-he has no right to inquire about that! Do not answer! 

Furina blushed heavily, and Yennifer interjected, putting her hands on Furina’s shoulders. “Don’t be crass, sir. Furina’s parents passed away. She’s just showing off her new Vision.”

“Well, I suppose Christ didn’t have a girlfriend,” Marcel muttered. 

Furina’s eyes went wide, and her face jerked towards Yennifer’s at the same time she turned to face Furina, a look of startlement mirrored there. For a moment, Furina’s eyes locked on Yennifer’s lips. Why…why did she feel the urge to lean in and kiss her? And why did she suddenly feel…

“I-I need to go to the bathroom,” Furina stammered. Something was wrong in her pants, she’d not felt like this before! It must be the wine. Or another period, but it wasn’t supposed to happen again for a week!

She broke apart from Yennifer and hurried to the bathroom, but she didn’t think she’d wet herself, even if the sensation was…odd. It was also rather pleasant. Still, she cleaned herself up and stuck her head back out to check on the party. Thankfully, most people seem to have decided Furina was just performing a party trick instead of a miracle. 

“So. Water into wine? Dove giving you a vision at your baptism? If you’re trying to hide, you’re going to need to do a better job.”

Furina jumped again, turning to find Charlotte and Barbara standing there. “I, er, beg your pardon?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll cover for you! I told everyone you swapped the bottles with an illusion when they weren’t looking,” Barbara confided. “Yen backed us up.”

“I, um, of course! Yes, that’s definitely what I did,” Furina said, sweat breaking out on her brow. 

Charlotte gave her a knowing look. “Come on, Furina. We’re going to try to help you out, but you really have to put in the effort. Just don’t go restoring sight to the blind or raising the dead. That would be really hard to explain away.”

“I, er, think I can probably manage that?” Furina stammered. Raise the dead? Who did they think she was?

Still, they departed the party not long after that, as it was only a few hours until dawn. Charlotte and Barbara started singing show tunes on the way back, and Yennifer was drunk enough that she joined in. Furina did as well, soon forgetting about the incident with the wine and whatever that was she felt when she looked into Yennifer’s eyes. 

They all stumbled into the apartment, and Furina and Yennifer headed back to the bedroom, closing the door. 

“It’s hot,” Furina complained, pulling off her shirt. “Ugh, I’m all sweaty, but I’m too tired to shower.”

“It’s fine, here, let me help,” Yennifer said, and came over to undo Furina’s bra, which caused her to sigh in relief. “Help me?”

“Sure,” Furina agreed, her clumsy fingers struggling for a moment before she managed to unlatch Yennifer’s bra. Yennifer turned to face her, and for a moment, it was just the two of them, standing there, naked. 

“I, um…thank you. For, ah, helping me,” Furina said, feeling dizzy. 

“I…yes. I…I’ll always be there for you, Furina,” Yennifer said. She reached out for Furina, who took her hand. For a moment…she thought something more was going to happen. She imagined herself falling into Yennifer’s arms, and that odd sensation came back, even stronger than before…

“Good night,” Yennifer whispered, and there were tears in her eyes. Why was she crying? It must be the wine.

Without bothering to put on nightclothes, it really was quite warm for only may, they both stumbled into bed. 

The dreams Furina had were…interesting. Embracing Yennifer, holding her close, and…oh. Oh she hoped that Focalors couldn’t see this…

But it was wonderful. Even if it was just a dream. 

The next morning, Furina had a pounding headache, and groaned as Yennifer sat up in bed. 

“Ugh. I should have known better than to drink that much,” Yennifer moaned, scrubbing at her face. She smiled at Furina. “Hey, sleepy.”

“H-hey,” Furina said, sitting up and clutching her head. It felt like she had an entire orchestra pounding away at the drums in there. “I…I feel like I’m dying…”

“Hangover. We both had too much last night,” Yennifer said, staggering out of bed. “At least I don’t have to go into the office today, it’s Saturday. Ugh, it’s already nearly noon. 

Furina’s eyes were fixed on Yennifer’s bare behind, which was…fascinating. She stared as Yennifer rooted around for some clothes. “I’m going to shower. You can have it next.”

“A-alright,” Furina agreed, and lay back down. What was this? She must be sick.

No more than you deserve. That was quite the quantity of wine you drank. 

Oh shut up. I bet you never had to deal with a hangover. 

Of course not. Oceanids don’t get drunk, and then I lacked any body at all.

Well, get yourself one and see how YOU like it.

Sounds dreadful. I’m happy as I am, thank you. You passed out quite a few Visions last night, by the by. 

Yes, I recall. It was odd, Furina could remember sitting on her Throne and distributing Visions, but also her, ah, dreams with Yennifer. Those had been…somewhat more exciting. 

Good, good. You’ll want to experiment with your powers. I’m limiting you to more or less what a Hydro Vision Wielder can manage. Miracles aside. Try not to pull that again. I can’t really keep your limiters in place when you’re inhibited in that manner.

You mean…when I’m drunk, I have the full Hydro Authority!?

Not the full Authority. You’re splitting it with a dragon. Not that you’re any less powerful, if anything, it’s amplifying your own Authority. Odd, that. Anyway, drink plenty of water, you’ve got another show in a few hours. 

Yennifer was out after only about ten minutes, and Furina staggered into the bathroom herself, somewhat disappointed Yennifer was dressed now. Her thoughts really were wild this morning. Instead of a shower, she drew a bath, then stood and watched as it filled.

After a minute or so, Furina held up her Vision, which she’d brought with her. She wondered, was it possible to make it fill a little faster? She reached out, and could feel the water in the pipes, in the air all around her…yes, just a teensy little tug, and…

And that's how Yennifer’s apartment completely flooded. Furina would have died of embarrassment if she hadn’t had a play at 8pm. 

Author’s Note:

All hail our blessed lady of Girlfailures. 

PHILO: All I’m hearing is that she’s the Goddess of Streamers now. It even fits the pun. Stream? Water? Streamer? She’s going to rule the Interwebs.

May I Enjoy My Life, Entry 10

Entry 13, Day 31

There was one casualty of our time in Leithania that I will eternally mourn. 

My phone. I don’t know exactly when, but at some point in the frantic madness, it got smashed to hell and gone. I don’t just mean the screen cracked, I mean the thing took a hit from arts and damn near melted. 

I guess I should feel less bad about that then the thousands of people who died in that insane terrorist attack, which Sussurro and Exusiai both tell me wasn’t my fault but I can’t shake the feeling was, but also…well, that was a bit of home, you know? 

Also, bit of an unfortunate thing because now we can’t datamine all the events on there to dig up things my illiterate ass doesn’t know. 

They did give me a replacement, namely the tablet they gave me that I’m typing this up on. I’ve reconstructed the entries I wrote earlier to the best of my abilities. Not like I’ve got anything better to do, I guess.

Right, that’s because I’m stuck in a hospital bed, and will be for the foreseeable future. 

I wish I had some dramatic story about my arrival on Rhodes Island. Truth is, I was out cold. By the time I came to, they had me ensconced in the medical department, hooked up to an IV and all that jazz. For a brief moment, I thought I was back on Earth. That this had all been a bad dream, and I’d woken up in the hospital. 

Frankly, I panicked a bit then. I hadn’t realized it, but I was really starting to care for Sussurro, Exusiai, Gavial, Andrey, Texas…all of them. These were real people, who had walked through the fire and the flames for my ignorant ass. 

After my initial shock wore off, however, I spotted a now familiar glow in the corner of the room. Exusiai was snoring and drooling, slumped in a chair with her guns cradled in her arms. Seeing my Guardian Angel, I relaxed and lay back. I had no idea how long I'd been out, but I was still exhausted. The only thing was that my mouth and throat were sore, though the IV in my arm had me hydrated.

Before I could think too hard about that, the door hissed open, and a white haired woman in a black lab coat stepped inside the room.

Immediately, I recognized Warfarin. As usual, her clothes were more practical and less sexy than Arknights would lead you to believe, with standard white scrubs on under the black lab coat. She looked, well, young. No older than I was, with flawless alabaster skin and bright red eyes.

She also had on glasses, which she was peering at a chart through. How could Hypergryph hide this fantastic meganekko from us?! This was surely sacrilege!

She looked up at me and smiled, which revealed a pair of sharp fangs. “Ah, so, you are awake.”

As soon as Warfarin spoke, Exusiai let out a gasp and jerked upright, her head snapping around and gun pointed right at Warfarin.

“Put that away, little Sankta. I'd hate to have to clip your wings,” Warfarin said without so much as glancing at Exusiai while she checked my fluid levels and vitals.

“Just as long as you promise not to suck any of James’ blood, vampire,” Exusiai said, sounding a lot grumpier than usual.

Baring her fangs, Warfarin put on a manic grin, and held up a vial. “But, that is what I am here for! I heard we have blood of the rarest kind here, and I needed a snack!”

I coughed, and managed. “Uh, FYI, I'm Infected. So, er, no drinky blood.”

Sighing dramatically, Warfarin lowered the vial. “Darn. Well, I guess I'll just have to draw it the boring way. We need to run some more labs. It's been about 72 hours since you first checked in, so we need to do a comparison to your first results.”

“I was out for three days?” I said, feeling sick to my stomach. Not from the blood draw, that was fine as long as it wasn't done via the jugular.

“Yes, and this poor little Sankta has barely left your side. I had to strap down that annoying lupo and my idiot former intern to get them to accept treatment and stop trying to bother you.”

I looked to Exusiai, who was still eyeing Warfarin suspiciously. “You're alright? No lingering after effects from…you know.”

My mind went back to Exusiai dying in my arms, which had led to me overdosing on arts and nearly killing myself.

“Just a little sore throat, I'm fine,” Exusiai said with a nod. “Texas, though…she's in bad shape. Sussurro is mostly OK, just coming down from arts overdose like you.”

I blinked. I hadn't even noticed that Sussurro had overdone it on the healing arts, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. She’d been going as hard on healing as many wounded as she could as I had. 

“Yes, but shockingly, Lucy managed to not exacerbate her condition. In fact, her BOCD is down to .22 u/L. Funny, that. I don’t suppose you had anything to do with it, did you Mr. McCoy?”

“Honestly, I have no clue,” I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning back on my pillow. “Maybe? I thought oripathy was a made up disease until a month ago.”

“You really are a talker, aren’t you? Well, lucky for you I’m actually someone you can spill your guts to and it won’t cause an international incident. But do try to be more cautious,” Warfarin said. “Here.”

I opened my eyes, and found her proffering a glass of water with a straw in it. She held it for me as I sipped at it gratefully. “Hungry?”

“Starving, actually. But if I’ve been out for three days, it’s probably the clear liquid diet. I don’t suppose you have strawberry jello?”

“We’ll see how you handle the water, but I’ll have a nurse come by with some fowlbeast broth if you can keep it down,” Warfarin told me. She frowned down at me, tapping her arm, and I felt sweat break out on my brow. 

“Did you really tell Kal to keep it to twenty words or less?” Warfarin finally demanded. 

I let out the breath I’d been holding and laughed nervously. “Um, I was a bit out of my mind at that moment. But, uh…”

“He totally did,” Exusiai said, her grin slipping back into place. “It was hilarious. There we are, in a Bolivarian Standoff with the Black Empress herself, and Bones here actually tells Kal’tsit to shut up! Can you even imagine?!” 

“Frankly, I’ve dreamt about it for the past decade. I don’t know who you are, but I like your style, kid. Even if you’re not the wunderkind Lucy thinks you are, you’ve already made my day.”

“So, does that mean I can still apply for my residency here?” I asked hopefully. 

“Haha! As if you have a choice. Don’t worry, I’ve whipped dumber interns than you into shape. Just ask Lucy how thoroughly I chewed out her hide when she was a resident. I even had to put that dope Gavial in her place a time or two. Do try not to die though; I’ve got so many wonderful tests planned for you and your delicious blood.”

With that frankly disturbing parting shot, Warfarin sauntered out of the room. 

Exusiai scooted her chair closer, looking worried. “You OK, Bones? I mean, really. You were acting pretty wacky there towards the end.”

“Fine, I guess. Everyone make it out OK?”

Exusiai nodded, her expression still worried. “Yeah, Ch’en and Gavial are alright, so are Hibiscus and Czerny. Once the Horn Followers figured out they weren’t the one they were after they left them alone. Svetla and the kids are OK too, they’re settling into Rhodes Island from what I heard. Actually, there was a big party for Svetla! She helped a lot of people escape from Ursus, and they were all really happy to see her! Shame about her husband, but…well, like I said. Sometimes you lose packages, so just count the ones you do save.”

“Yeah. I guess…I guess you have to,” I sighed. 

We sat there for a while. I was still exhausted, and Exusiai set about cleaning her guns. I must have dozed off for a bit, but then I asked her for another glass of water, which she got happily enough.

When I’d sipped a bit, Exusiai asked. “So…uh, how much do you know about me, really?”

I considered that question. “A bit. Not your whole life’s story. But you were my first 6*.”

Exusiai gave me a baffled look. “I assume that’s not some weird sex thing?” 

“What?! No, um, I, I mean, in the game, you were my first SSR. Er, you were the most powerful unit I had, the first one. I rerolled specifically to get you, actually. Took me four tries.”

“That’s really fuckin’ weird, James.”

“In my defense, at the time, I thought you were a fictional character, Lemuel.”

“Hmm, I guess.” She fidgeted some more. “So, like, that’s all?”

I sighed. “Well…I know you have an older sister, who’s in a wheelchair. And…well. I know about Mostima.”

“Yeah?” Exusiai wasn’t looking at me anymore, instead fixated on her pistol, which she was disassembling and then reassembling at lightning speed. 

“All I know is that Mostima is a Fallen who reverted to Sarkaz, she was your childhood buddy, and you blame yourself for her being Fallen, I think, and the same incident that caused her to Fall resulted in your sister, Lemuen, losing the use of her legs.”

Exusiai sniffed, and shrugged. “Not a lot of people know all that.”

“Yeah. Sorry. I wasn’t trying to, you know. Perv on you or something.”

“Mmm.” Exusiai put her gun back together one time, sighted down it, then spun it through her fingers, back and forth, back and forth. “So what’s this about reverting to Sarkaz?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. “Uh, I know this is a lot coming from me…but are you sure you want to know? What I have is, frankly, maybe not all that reliable. I wasn’t a lorehound who read everything, and well, who knows? That was a game, this is obviously real.”

“Yeah, but you know about all kinds of stuff. And, well…you’re not wrong about what you said about me,” Exusiai said. She let the pistol fall into her hand, then looked down at it. “So. What do you mean by ‘return to Sarkaz’?”

“Again…this is some speculation because not all the lore is out yet, but…have you ever heard of Teekaz?” 

“Yeah, it’s an old name for Kazdel,” Exusiai said, nodding and wrinkling her forehead. 

“No, I mean, the race. The people who, well…originated on Terra.”

Exusiai glanced around, then leaned forward. “You mean like…Sarkaz origination theory? But that’s like…fringe stuff.” 

“I really wish I knew more. But, basically…there’s two types of races. Ancients, and Teekaz. Ancients are the animal people. You know, like vulpo, perro, felines, all those ones.”

“Ok,” Exusiai said with a nod. 

“And the others, they’re Teekaz descended, like-”

The door hissed open, and an ominous shadow fell over the both of us.

“What,” growled Kal’tsit, her shadow growing claws and menacing green eyes. “Are you doing.”

Exusiai and I sprang apart like we’d been caught playing tongue hockey by her mother. That actually happened to me, Sophomore Year in high school. Wasn’t allowed over at Maria’s house after that. 

“Uh, talking?” I managed. 

“Just keeping an eye on the package, Director, ma’am!” Exusiai said brightly. What were we even doing? We were adults!

Kal’stit came to loom over both of us, which is pretty impressive for someone six inches shorter than I am. “I have been informed of your propensity for dispensing knowledge that would be best left retained, Dr. McCoy. I see now that what I was told was nothing but a shadow of the true levels of folly you are capable of. Simply because one has a secret, Dr. McCoy, does not mean that one should share it. Indeed, by sharing it, one violates the very nature of a secret. 

“Additionally, one should always carefully weigh one's words before one speaks. The wise man considers full well the consequences of every word that passes from his lips. The fool allows words to dribble away, like a hole in a leaky casket. So, Dr. McCoy, what are you? The fool who wastes away the fortune of knowledge that he contains, or the wise man that carefully considers the impact of what he says, and in doing so, oft remains silent.”

I regarded Kal’stit for a moment. Then, I decided, fuck it. 

“You are a verbose old biddy, aren’t you?”

I think I saw Exusiai’s soul leave her body at that point. I don’t know if she resigned herself to die by the talons of Monst3r, or if was just going to let me suffer the consequences of my own actions. 

“I see my words failed to leave an impact. Perhaps harsher measures are required,” Kal’tsit said, her eyes flashing a dangerous green. Exusiai actually leaned away, raising her hands up in the air. 

“She’s kinda cute for a…what would she even be? Decem milia genarian? Don’t you think?” I commented to Exusiai. 

“I just remembered, I don’t want to die today. Director,” Exusiai said, and scrambled away and out the door. 

Kal kept her eyes locked on me, and I gave her my very best shit eating grin. The kind that always got me in trouble, especially if I’d been running my mouth. 

“I have been given to understand that you seek to complete your residency at my hospital, Dr. McCoy,” Kal’tsit said in what felt like a complete change of topic. 

“Uh, yeah, I suppose so?” 

“In that case, I regret to inform you that I require the smallest modicum of discretion and humility from my residents. Someone who not only seeks to antagonize their senior attending with petty insults, but additionally spills forth secrets I have labored for millenia to protect, is not worthy of being called a physician of Rhodes Island.”

“Uh…”

“So, Dr. McCoy, you may choose. Either you shall learn to curb your tongue and your…we shall be generous and call them ‘witticisms,’ and be welcomed amongst the ranks of the medical staff, or I shall lock you away on the deepest sub-level and wring what use I can from your remarkable ability while minimizing the harm your wagging tongue could inflict.”

I was sweating now, and feeling like a proper idiot. I cringed as Kal’tsit leaned over me. “Let me be succinct: You will either learn to keep a civil tongue in your head, or you will be left rotting in the dungeon. That was twenty words. Was it short enough for you to parse, Mr. McCoy?”

“Yes ma’am,” I gasped, shrinking back on my bed. 

“Good.” Kal’stit stood back up, regarding me. “I will save my lecture on the folly of mindless self sacrifice for another time. As it is…I take it that your primary coping mechanism when confronted with emotional trauma is to blurt out whatever comes to mind?”

“I…” I blinked. “Um, that’s…that’s actually a reasonable assessment, I guess? I mean, I don’t really know, but…I do tend to run my mouth when I’m stressed.”

“I see.” Kal’tsit rested a hand on my shoulder, and I flinched, until I felt how gentle it was. “You need not fear me, James McCoy. Not unless you insist on being a rude child. I know what it is to be cast adrift from all you know, and to wander a cold world alone. You have been ripped away from all you know and love. It is alright for you to cry. It is alright for you to feel pain. Let yourself feel that pain, Dr. McCoy. Do not revel in it, but do not deny it. Mourn. Grieve. You are human. Not a machine.”

“I…” tears misted my eyes, and Kal’tsit gave my shoulder a squeeze before withdrawing her hand. 

“I am not the one you will look to for solace, Dr. McCoy. Nor should I be. However, I leave you now in the hands of those you should.”

“Huh?” I blinked away the tears, just in time for the door to hiss open, and Gavial and Sussurro stride in, followed by a nervous looking Exusiai. Huh. I’d seen Exusiai face down hordes of cultists, an Emperors Blade, and even the Black Empress with a smile on her face. 

Maybe pissing off Kal’tsit was a bad idea. 

“Heya, Director! Not being too hard on my new resident, are ya?” Gavial said cheerily. 

“Merely instructing a young man in the way he should go,” Kal’tsit replied. She nodded to Sussurro. “I will trust your judgement, Dr. Sussurro, in not allowing this young man to say more than is wise.”

“I'll do my best, Director,” Sussurro said. “As long as you promise to let me strangle him the next time he calls you an ‘old biddy.’” 

“Permission denied. My ego is not so fragile as to require you to avenge it. Though I will trust you will not let Dr. McCoy’s head swell too large simply because he can do the impossible.”

“We’ll let the excess air out, Director, don’t you worry about it!” Gavial laughed. 

Kal’tsit nodded, then departed through the door.

Gavial continued smiling, then said, “You wanna smack him, or should I?”

“We don’t want to give James a concussion, so…” Sussurro dope slapped me. Gently. “James! You do not call the Director an Old Biddy!” 

“Even if she is one,” Gavial said, folding her arms over her chest and giving me a stern look.

“Gavial! You are going to give poor Lemuel a heart attack!” Sussurro huffed. 

Exusiai did look about as pale as a ghost. She took a shuddering breath. “Bones, there is brave, and there is stupid. Do you have ANY idea how scary that woman is!? Like, she can make Boss back down! And he’s immortal! Trust me, I’ve checked! He’s died at least ten times, but even he dims his halo and bows his head when Kal’tsit snaps at him!” 

“Though I have to know, kid. Did you really tell her to keep her speeches to twenty words or less?” Gavial asked, leaning in towards me and lowering her voice.

I nodded sheepishly. “I was sort of out of my mind at that particular point in time, but-”

“HAHAHA!” Gavial slapped her leg, a wide grin on her face. “That’s priceless! Do you have any idea how often I’ve wanted to say the same thing to her, but never had the balls to do it? And here you are, an R1, and you’re mouthing off to the mother of modern medicine herself!” 

“I, ah, I may have gotten written up for similar behavior a time or two before,” I admitted. 

“Well, don’t make a habit of it. Kal’tsit is actually as scary as she looks, or scarier, depending on how dumb you are. She’s actually pretty chill when you get to know her, but don’t set her off just for funsies. Save that for Warfarin. When you wind her up, the results are always hilarious. Just make sure you’re OK with waking up with an extra nose or a pint of blood missing.”

“Lege nos a malis Sarkaz,” Exusia muttered.

“Hey Lucia, dope slap Lemuel for me,” I said. 

“Hey!” Exusia gasped when Sussurro obliged.

“No racism. Racism bad,” I told her.

“You don't even know what I said!” Exusiai protested.

“I do, James is right,” Sussurro said. “Warfarin is perfectly pleasant. She just revels in making people like you squirm.”

“And the mad science! Don't forget the mad science,” Gavial pointed out.

“Oooo,” Exusiai shivered to an exaggerated degree and rapped her knuckles on the side of her head. “Sorry if it’s racist, but vampires give me the heebie jeebies. I know Warfarin isn’t, you know, as blood thirsty as some, but….”

“Just…maybe tone down the anti Sarkaz sentiment,” I said, trying to smile. If the rumors I’d heard were true…then Exusiai and all Sankta WERE Sarkaz. But…

Maybe I should talk to Kal’tsit before I started dropping lore bombs. See? Even a brain damaged dog can learn some new tricks. If you beat them up enough. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Exusiai said, letting out a heavy sigh. “Anyway, you seem like you’re feeling better at least. With these two here, I’m going to go grab some grub and proper rack time.”

“You don’t have to watch me 24 hours a day, you know. We don’t have to be joined at the hip,” I said. 

“Sorry! I am now,” Exusiai said with a wink. “You’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy, Bones! Salve!”

She wandered off, and Sussurro produced some broth in a warm thermos. “Now you’re only to sip at this. It’s just fowlbeast broth. Clear, and with some nutrients, but you were out for a long time.”

I gratefully accepted the broth and took small sips, sighing happily. “Thanks, that’s good stuff. Reminds me of my mother’s chicken soup.”

Sussurro beamed and blushed slightly, and Gavial elbowed her. “Were you going to tell him you made it yourself?” 

“No! Shut up,” Sussurro mumbled. “I’m on a restricted diet too, and I'm a better cook than the rest of the hospital staff.”

“Ha! Well, you’re not wrong about the cooking part. I can heat up an MRE with the best but that’s about it. The less said about Kal’tsit’s cooking the better. You’d think she’d learn to cook well in the million years she’s lived, but I’ve seen her eat ration bars and cup noodles for weeks. Her and the Doctor both.”

I froze, my hands gripping the sheets. The Doctor. He was the player character in Arknights, for a given value of that. But what I did know about him…he was either a clown, or the most horrifying war criminal in history. 

“So, you know something about Doctor, huh? Well, maybe keep it to yourself for now,” Gavial said.

“No, it’s fine. I actually don’t really have a clue, aside from the fact that Doctor is supposed to be some sort of tactical genius. He’s…well, if you play Arknights, he’s you,” I explained. 

Sussurro seemed thoughtful at that. Gavial just looked baffled. “Game? You’re the Doctor? Kid, you might be a doctor, but you’re not THE Doctor.”

“Yeah, forgot my sonic screwdriver at home,” I said deadpan.

“Well, if you want one of those, someone in engineering probably has an extra,” Gavial told me, which threw me for a bit of a loop. “Right now though, you’re on bedrest. Sussurro has appointed herself your attending now that she’s back on duty, and Warfarin and the Director both signed off on it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I sighed. “I’ll try not to be a complete pain in the ass as a patient.”

“Good, because I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Sussurro, you do the write up on Bones, you spent the most time with him,” Gavial said. “Have fun, you two!”

With a nod, she wandered off, and Sussurro took out a tablet, asking me some basic questions like my date of birth, blood type, all that stuff. I helpfully provided my standard vitals as a baseline, as well as what human normals were. 

“Doc from Team Rainbow gave us those already, but it’s good to have someone else verify it. You’re not too far off of average for Terran norms,” Sussurro commented as she typed it all up. 

“I have to ask, are homo sapiens total weaklings? Because from what I’ve seen, people like Gavial and Texas are outright freaks compared to us. I don’t think even a peak Earthican athlete can do what they do.”

“So that’s an interesting question,” Sussurro said, pulling a few files up. “Physically, you are on the low end of the tests. The exception is in endurance: the Team Rainbow operatives performed in the 80th percentile. Not as much endurance as a minos or a vouivre, but you beat out felines, perro, liberi, cautus, and definitely vulpo. About the level of a kuranta.”

“What about someone like a pegasus like Maria Nearl, or a hippogryph like Hellagur?” I asked curiously. 

Sussurro laughed. “James, we don’t even compare the rest of us to the elder races. Oh, we’re all human, but elder races are something more. Same with Sarkaz. Their baseline physical abilities are so far beyond what Ancient races possess it’s simply not worth comparing them.”

“Huh. I guess not all men are created equal. Too bad you didn’t have Sam Colt,” I mused. 

“Sam Colt?” Sussurro asked curiously. 

“‘God made man. Sam Colt made him equal.’ He wasn’t the inventor of the modern gunpowder weapon, but he did mass manufacture them. He’s sort of a…mythological? Yeah, mythological figure in my homeland's historical narrative, though he was definitely a real person. I shot a colt revolver with my brother once,” I explained. 

“Ah, he sounds like Velos to Vulpo,” Sussurro said with a nod. “In Minoan mythology, Velos was a cunning and skilled warrior, who showed the larger, stronger races that despite our smaller stature, we Vulpo make up for it with our speed and quick wits. Speaking of physical traits, Vulpo do tend towards faster reflexes, better dexterity, and, well, if I do say so myself, being smarter than the average perro.”

“Well, you’re obviously smarter than I am, so I can’t argue with that. Cuter too,” I mused, then mentally kicked myself. There I went with my big stupid mouth running away again. 

However, Sussurro’s tail swished back and forth a few times and her ears pricked up, which I think means she didn’t mind too much. “Well, then hopefully you listen to me a little more often. Right, you need some rest. We’ve talked long enough. I’ll leave you with this tablet, I know your other one was destroyed, so it’ll give you something to do. You were rather faithful with your journaling.”

“Thanks,” I said, accepting the tablet. “Hey, this has games!” 

“Yes, I put a smattering of them on there. You mentioned liking tactical games, and tower defense? Well, Wintermaul Wars is a tactical tower defense I rather enjoy. See if you can beat my high score.”

The sparkle in Sussurro’s eyes made me suspect that might not be so easy. “You’re on! I was pretty damn good at Arknights. Maybe not a world class player, but I cleared Glory of Humanity,  Crazelyseon Sentinel, AND Holy City with-”

I cut myself off, and Sussurro looked worried. “James?”

I fidgeted with my sheets. “Lucia…what if…what if you knew something. Something important. But…but it might hurt a friend, if it got out. It could also hurt them if it didn’t get out. What…what would you do?”

She took my hand in hers, and gave it a squeeze. “That’s…a hard position. No, don’t tell me. I think…I think you should talk to Director Kal’tsit about this, James. It’s some of that weird alien knowledge of yours, isn’t it?” 

I nodded, feeling miserable. “Well, talk to her, really. Yes, she’s scary. But she’s kind too. Be honest with her, go to her privately, and lay it all out. Then listen, actually listen, to what she tells you.”

“I…yeah. Thanks. I’ll do that,” I said, then stifled a yawn. 

“Get to bed. You’re safe here,” Sussurro told me. “Good night, James.”

“Night,” I said, and lay back, closing my eyes. 

And tried not to dream of fallen angels. 

The Second Archon War: Superbia Hominum 17: Destiny Unfurls

Superbia Hominum 17: Destiny Unfurls

David looked around at the exhausted and desperate soldiers, then down at the struggling and weary civilians struggling along the snow beaten path. Behind them, Helsinki burned. Weeks of desperate fighting, rivers of spilled blood…and all for nothing.

The Tsaritsa had taken Finland.  

“I’m going back,” David said, turning to Mouse Protector, who had one arm in a sling and was leaning on one of her squadmates. 

“I’ll go with you, sir!” one of the capes, an Alexandria type from Mexico, said. What was his name? Carlos? David was too exhausted to remember. 

“No. Stay here, cover the retreat. I’ll slow them down,” David ordered, and took off into the air. 

He found several squads of soldiers trapped, helping them break out from Fatui encirclement and evacuate the city. It was grim and bloody work, with Eidolon feeling the weariness in his very soul And every time he used his powers, every time he tapped into another shard, the same thought ran through his mind. 

Unworthy. You were never a hero. You are a monster. You are unworthy. 

“static wounded! Need, need evac! Too many static can’t static, need evac!” 

Snarling, David turned towards the source of the sudden transmission. He spent precious minutes fighting off two Fatui patrols, before crashing into the building the call had come through right through the roof. 

Before he even landed, David realized that something was terribly wrong. The entire room was covered in frost, and he could hear a faint tune playing, as if on a distant wind. Instead of finding a hidden room of the dying and injured, he instead found a group of men and women on their knees or feet, staring in abject awe or horror at a young woman of unequaled beauty, who had her hand on the head of an injured Finnish soldier, and was regrowing his arm from ice. 

The young woman looked up in shock as David landed, even as he jerked back and swore, “The Tsaritsa?! Here!?”

Stay behind me, the woman said, turning to face David and raising aloft a glowing scepter. 

After a moment’s study, David realized this wasn’t the Tsaritsa, but rather, the Princess. She looked…well. Kollei Moskaylova was looking more and more by the day like her mother. Her hair had gone from brown to platinum blonde, and her features looked like they’d been gone over with a photoshop brush, removing imperfections, heightening her cheekbones, and turning her eyes a pale blue. She was still not Bronya, but she clearly looked like the daughter of the God of Love. 

“Those are my men, not yours, monster. Let them go,” David growled, summoning glowing Geo Crystals around his hands. More and more, he relied less on his powers and more on his Delusion. How could he call on powers that had birthed such monsters? 

They have been healed by my Mother’s Love. They are free to go to you, should they wish it. If not, they may remain her, and rebuild this city for the glory of the Tsaritsa, the Princess said, raising her scepter. It was affixed with an icy chess piece: the Gnosis. David did not fully understand what that divine artifact was, but he could feel the power radiating from it. He expected that it would feel like ice, like numbness, like losing oneself.

Instead…it felt like…Love. It was warm and tender, and it seemed to wish to wrap David in a warm embrace, and tell him it would all be alright. He shook it off, glaring at the Princess. “You’re holding them hostage. Don’t make me kill you.”

I have no desire for violence, David Ward. Besides, you could not kill me even if you truly wished to. Well? Who wishes to part from my side? Go, with my love, and know that you will always be welcome in my mother’s domain, should you return to serve her with your whole heart.

Most of the soldiers and civilians scrambled over to David for protection, but not all of them. In fact, nearly a third stayed worshiping at the feet of the Princess, who even now was soothing away their hurts and pains. 

Take them. I will hold none who do not feel Love in their hearts for my Mother. 

“Who could ever love a monster?” David said bitterly, though he was speaking more of himself than the Tsaritsa. 

In a flash, the Princess was there, at his side. David nearly attacked her, but she simply reached out a hand and caressed his cheek. My Love is always there for you, David Ward. My Mother and I see now. See who your children are. We are monsters also. I, too, have brought war and death to this world. I too have sacrificed my ideals, my dreams, in order to save others. The world may hate and fear us, may reject us, but so long as there is a world to do so…is it not worth the price? 

“You never birthed a monster out of your own selfish ambition,” David found himself whispering, trembling at the surprisingly warm and gentle touch. 

The Princess gave David a sad smile. I am now the source of Delusions. Upon my Mother’s Throne, I give rise to new Harbingers and new armies to ravage the world in an attempt to save it. So who has birthed the greater monsters, David Ward? No, do not answer. It should not be a competition. Only know…there will always be a place for those who are willing to find Love in their hearts for humanity in my Mother’s court. 

David shook himself, and turned to those he was rescuing. “Come on, I’ll get you all out of here. Door me!” 

A door appeared to the evacuation point, a sunny field in Germany, free from the Tsaritsa’s wintery grasp. He guarded the refugees until they had departed, then nodded to the Princess. “We’re still enemies. But thank you.”

We need not be. Return to me soon, David Ward. When the pain becomes too great…my Love will wash it away.

Deliberately, David turned his back on the Princess and the fools that worshiped her, and strode through the portal. He looked around, Knights and other emergency workers were tending to the wounded. He felt exhausted, but also as though he needed to charge back into battle. He was about to take off and fly for Finland, when a tremulous voice called,

“David?”

He turned, and found an unsteady Fortuna, hobbling along with a cane, one hand extended forward and grasping, a blue veil over her eyes. Fortuna had ditched the Fedora, and was growing her dark curly hair out. He stepped towards her, and she gratefully put her arm through his and leaned on him. 

“Take off your Delusion. It’s staining your soul,” she told him, her fingers reaching for it.

He reluctantly removed it, though once he did, it felt like he could breathe again for the first time in days. 

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be back at HQ,” David said, letting Fortuna guide him back towards the aid tents. 

“Screening for any potential fatui agents. I’ve not found any so far, because there won’t be any. The Princess doesn’t see the point, and the Dancer is concentrating her efforts elsewhere. But it lets me leave the Secret Lair and get some sunlight, so I came anyway.””

“Hmm,” David said, shaking his head. “We lost.”

“Yes,” Fortuna agreed. “The Princess is too powerful, and Ziz is still licking her wounds, while Barbatos sleeps. And you…you are losing faith.”

David chuckled bitterly. “It was all a lie. What faith is there to have?”

“We did believe in a lie. We let our own hubris guide us. But the gods have returned, David. We can put our faith in them.”

“They’re false gods! The Tsaritsa has caused untold suffering! She-”

She was just like him. Railing against powers greater than her. Willing to sacrifice thousands, millions, if it meant that in the end, humanity would survive. 

“Hey. Dad. I’m sorry.”

David froze, then slowly looked to where Fortuna had been guiding him. Ziz was standing up from where she’d clearly been using her powers to heal a group of people, looking awkward. She came over, glancing at Fortuna, then back at David. Licking her lips, she said, “I…I’m sorry I couldn’t save them. I…I’m not as strong as I thought I was. Guess both of us are unworthy.”

“You are not-” David tried to say “not my daughter.” Tried to deny that it was him who had created this monster. The fury kindled in Ziz’s eyes, the anger and hatred. That same righteous fury that had fueled David for so long. 

He swallowed, and felt Fortuna squeeze his arm. He closed his eyes, and instead said, “You are not to blame, Ziz. I…I don’t know that I can be a father to you. I never…”

“Yeah, I was a fucking accident, I know,” Ziz said bitterly. She looked away. “Not hard to see why you’d disown me though. Gods. I’m the biggest mass murderer in history.”

“No, you’re not,” David found himself saying. “It was my sin. Not yours. You repented.”

“Yeah, well, I just had to be tortured for a few hundred years to make it stick,” Ziz muttered, sticking her hands in her jacket pockets and slouching. “Nahida’s kinda scary, you know?”

“Out of all my…children,” David said, tasting bile as he forced the words out, “you’re the only one…the only one I would be proud…to call my daughter.”

Ziz blinked at him. “What?”

“I created you out of my own arrogance. But you turned your back on that. I guess…I guess I’m proud of you, for at least trying to be a hero,” David said, flailing about miserably. 

“You’re still a fucking deadbeat, you know that, right?” Ziz huffed, looking away and blinking her eyes rapidly. 

“Yes. I’m a failure at everything. I’m not the world’s greatest hero. I’m not the world’s strongest cape. I’m just-”

“Oh shut the fuck up and quit wallowing in self pity, asshole!” Ziz snapped, turning her glare back on David. “So you’re not the strongest. Big fucking whoop. If you thought you were the strongest since the Electro Bitch carved up my brother, then you’re not stupid, you’re delusional. And world’s greatest hero? Please. Nahida’s had that on lock since BEFORE she beat me into submission. Just, fuck. Just don’t keep screwing up, OK? Have the balls to do what Outlook Not So Good here did, and cut out that damn traitor in your head. Before you spawn another kid.”

“I…” David felt his mouth go dry. Lose his powers? What if he ended up back in the wheelchair?

“I knew you were a dickless wonder. Just don’t knock up mom again, coward.” With that, Ziz stomped off to the next group, leaving David feeling even more sick and lost than before. 

He swallowed, and looked to Fortuna, who was clutching at his arm still. “Should…should I kill my shard? Like you did?”

“If you do, you will doom the world. You must give up your shard to another, and accept that someone else must wield the power you held if you wish to save the world. Only by humbling yourself completely may you finally begin to atone for your sins,” Fortuna told him. 

“Great. So I suppose you saw that you had to destroy your Shard, or was it just the easy way out?” David said bitterly.

Fortuna hung her head. “I…I cannot see myself in my visions. I can see everyone else, even the Archons, for their Fates shine brightly in the heavens. I can see your Fate, David. But I am utterly blind to my own, and what I should do.”

He digested that for a moment. “Maybe…maybe I should give my power to Nahida. She is the best of them.”

“That’s a potential path. But Nahida would never allow you to go to war again. You’d live a simple life. She’d find you a wife, and a plot of land. You’d become a farmer, growing food to feed the world. This is the path where you would be happiest.”

“Just like that? You can tell me my Fate, just like that?” David demanded. 

“I am a True Oracle now, David. I see the future more clearly than I do the present. I could give you the name of the woman you would wed, the night you conceive your first son, the very hour you die from a stroke after a life well lived. Do you want me to?”

He was silent for a few moments. “What of the Raiden Shogun?”

“She would kill you. Beezelbul sees you as a threat, and she responds to threats in only one way. It would be an end to pain, yes, and she would forge a mighty weapon from your Shard and Soul, the weapon that could perhaps strike down the Warrior himself. You would be somewhat aware of this, the weapon she forged would be imbued with your consciousness to a degree. But you would be forgotten, and another would gain your glory.”

Death. At times it sounded appealing, but…David did not want to die. Despite everything, he did not seek death. 

“Venti?”

“He would set you free. He is, after all, the God of Wind and Freedom. You would be free of your burdens, free to pursue your own life. If you go to him…your path is less clear to me. Barbatos is nearly impossible to properly scry, his very nature defies confining, even to the strictures of Fate.”

That was somehow even less appealing. A murky fate, knowing only he would be unburdened? He didn’t want that. He still wanted to be a hero. “This new one, this Focalors?”

“She would judge you. And find you guilty. You would be utterly condemned, your soul crushed beyond despair. She is the God of Justice, and if you surrender yourself to her Justice…she would be forced to find you guilty. Do not do this to her. It would cause her great sorrow to be forced to condemn you. Additionally…I am not entirely certain where to find her. She is a tricky one, even heaven itself cannot always keep an eye on her or know how her Fate will play out.”

The silence stretched, and David looked up to the blue sky above them, Fortuna silently standing beside him. At least, he forced himself to ask, “And the Tsaritsa?”

“You will betray all that you once loved,” Fortuna whispered. “Your name will be synonymous with Traitor. The world will hate you. Your former friends, myself included, will try to kill you. And yet…you will become the Hero. The man who will hold the fate of the world in his hands…and choose to save it out of Love. Though it costs him…everything.”

“Well. Perhaps I should just wait for the next one.”

“Do not wait for too long. Even now, the next Endbringer stirs. Soon, it will awaken.”

David grunted. “I just…I need time to think. I can’t go back to the wheelchair. I can’t go back to being useless. The others seem to think I should keep using my abilities…”

“The others are about to commit a Sin so great, it may doom the world. Please, David. Please do not be party to that,” Fortuna said, beginning to tremble all over.

He looked down at her, frowning. “What? Sin? What sin could be greater than the one we have committed?”

“‘And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.’”

“That’s…Genesis 3:4-6. Why are you quoting scripture?” David asked, baffled. He might have nearly the whole Bible memorized, but there was no way that this pagan did.

“Because: the Serpent has come into our midst, and even now, one of our kind seeks to eat of the fruit,” Fortuna whispered. “Do not eat of the fruit, David. Or you, and the world, will surely die.”

“I can promise you that I will never again take up cursed power,” David promised. “The consequences from last time…they were too severe. If I do take power, it will be holy power. From a god.”

“Then you don’t believe in your old God anymore?” Fortuna asked. 

David opened his mouth, closed it, and thought for a moment. Then, he gently let Fortuna go, and turned his back. “No. But I suppose I was my own god all along. I guess I’ll just have to find a worthy one this time.”

Then, he flew back to Finland. This battle was lost. But the war for the soul of humanity raged on. 

Standing on the shore with her feet upon pebbles, Chiyo closed her eyes and let the sea speak to her. She could feel it, the ocean in all its majesty. She could sense the great power of the depths, feel the creatures within it swimming through the waves or crawling along its bottom, from the sunless depths to bright sandy coral. 

The waters of the world spoke to Chiyo, and in their voice, there was pain. Refuse and waste polluted it. Fishermen robbed hatcheries of fish, threatening them with extinction. Dolphins, turtles, and other creatures wailed in pain as they were cut up by boat motors or trapped in nets, only to drown or be tossed back to bleed out. 

“The world needs healing,” Chiyo whispered. “How am I to bring it?”

“So. You’re hearing it too, now.”

Chiyo turned to find her husband, carrying their child, approaching on silent feet. For such a big man, Kenta was remarkably silent when he wished to be. Bailu was sleeping, which had aided his stealth. They’d had a long journey to this remote island along the coast of Japan, then played on the rocky beach for some time. 

It was to be their last such day for some time. 

“I could already command the waves. Now I can listen to them,” Chiyo said, turning back to face the endless ocean, turned blood red by the setting sun. 

“Yeah. I can hear storms. Started a year or so back,” Kenta commented, adjusting Bailu slightly on his shoulder. She was getting big, three years old now, with a long pink tail poking out from above her swim skirt. Her horns were still little nubs, but they were growing larger every day.

Even now, Chiyo had her own horns growing from her forehead, as did her husband. She could disguise them, of course, but they felt natural now. A part of her. Though she usually kept her tail hidden simply out of convenience. 

“Ei says we are gaining Authority. Becoming Sovereigns. Gods, in all but name,” Chiyo said, pressing herself up against her husband. 

Kenta grunted. “Didn’t think all this was what would happen when I showed up to an Endbringer fight.”

“Neither did I. Though unlike you, I didn’t do much fighting,” Chiyo said with a small grin. 

“You saved people. That’s what matters. Besides, I think the difference between our powers back then is dwarfed by how much both of us have grown. I might have been a strong para-human. But now? Now I can see…everything.

Kenta’s eyes misted over. “I can see that you’ll be gone for years. First hunting the Hydro Archon. Then serving her.”

“I…I am still loyal to Ei. To Japan,” Chiyo said slowly. “But…”

“But we serve what we are. You’re the Hydro Dragon. Besides, from what Ei has said, and from what I’ve seen, there will be only minor conflicts between Japan’s interests and the Hydro Archon’s. Well. Aside from one thing. That’ll be interesting.”

“Oh? What have you seen?” Chiyo asked curiously. 

“You and the Hydro Archon will judge the Raiden Shogun for what she did to China.”

“What?! But, Kenta, I fought for her then! Gladly! How could I judge her?! How could I condemn her?!”

“Because you must. You’ve already felt it, haven’t you?” Kenta said, giving her shoulders a squeeze. 

“I…yes. I have. There must be Restoration, Kenta. What she did…perhaps it was justified, but it was not Just. Nor has there been healing. And there must be healing for there to be Justice,” Keiga said, feeling frustrated. 

“Ei understands. She will come to your summons willingly. And I trust you enough to know that you won’t make it any harsher than it needs to be. Judge her you must, however. And before the Geo Archon arrives.”

“You can see that as well?” Chiyo asked, surprised. “I had…dreams…of the Hydro Archon. I still do. But I cannot so easily see the future.”

“Eh, it’s confusing. Sometimes, I forget when I am. Time is starting to…fuzz. I can see the past and the future, and sometimes I forget that I’m in the now. It’s…Eternity. I’m starting to get why the NEET is always withdrawing from people. It’s hard to have a conversation when you remember having it and it also hasn’t happened yet.”

“And what do you see…happening to us?” Chiyo asked, looking up at her husband’s eyes.

Kenta met her gaze, putting a strong hand on her chin. “I can’t read fate the way Ei does. But I also can’t see myself all that well. I did promise you eternal love. And I don’t mean to go back on that promise.”

They kissed, and Bailu stirred. 

“Mommy?”

Bailu picked up her daughter, squeezing her tight. “I’m sorry, Bailu. Mommy has to go on a trip. She will…” her voice hitched, and tears filled her eyes, “she will be gone for a long time.”

“No! Mommy come home,” Bailu huffed. 

“I will, darling. I will. And you can come visit me,” Chiyo promised. 

“No,” Bailu huffed. 

“Momma’s gotta go, kiddo. Daddy will be here though,” Kenta promised. 

Bailu considered that, then reached for Kenta. “OK. Want daddy. But want mommy too!” 

“Soon, my heart,” Chiyo said, feeling as though her heart would break. She handed her daughter back to Kenta, and turned to face the sea. She closed her eyes, and felt the waves speak to her. 

The world needed healing. It needed Justice. And it was Keiga’s duty to go find her. She dove into the waves, her tears forming sparkling gems as Chiyo became the Hydro Dragon. She would swim up, up, up. To the Arctic Ocean, then under the ice caps, down the Atlantic, and to the Mediterranean. There, her search would truly begin. Her trip would take weeks, months. As she went, she would purify polluted waters, restore coast lines ravaged by the Leviathan, renew fisheries, and punish pirates and poachers alike with all the wrath of a dragon. 

She was the Ocean, and it was her domain. And it was time for the Ocean to be restored. 

Sovereign sought Archon, as a new divine balance was struck. In this world, Dragons and Gods would need to ally with Humanity if there was even the slimmest chance for all to endure. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 9

Bones’ File

Profile:

Dr. James McCoy is a recent graduate from an accredited Medical School in Columbia. As a trained doctor, Dr. McCoy has joined Rhodes Island as a member of the medical department, code name Bones. 

This file is for general consumption, but most details regarding Dr. McCoy’s history and abilities are classified, at the request of Director Kal’tsit. 

Clinical Analysis 

Imaging tests show originium clusters along Bones’ major nerves, especially concentrated in the hands and along the spinal column. Granules have been detected in the circulatory system. Subject is confirmed to be infected with Oripathy.

[Cell-Originium Assimilation] - 10%

Bones has a number of visible lesions on his hands and forearms.

[Blood Originium-Crystal Density] - 0.28u/L

Despite having recently contracted oripathy, Bones’ levels indicate an acute case. He was exposed working in a hospital. Immediate intervention is required and long term treatment is needed to stabilize Bones’ condition.

Patient is to be considered non-cooperative in his own treatment. Bones seems to have an overdeveloped martyr complex and has repeatedly charged into situations that have exacerbated his condition. He is to be directly supervised, and not allowed on combat deployments for the time being. 

Confidential (Individual clearance for these files to be approved by Director Kal’stit):

Bones is another individual from another world (see files: Operation Originium Dust, Operation Lucent Arrowhead), race classification “Earthling.” Unlike the other Earthings, who have shown remarkable resistance to oripathy infection, Bones was infected within weeks of his arrival. However, it is his method of infection that is most astounding.

Based on an eyewitness report from Dr. Sussurro, Bones gave himself oripathy through the method of using an unknown brand of arts to remove the oripathy from a young patient under his care (see file Andrey Ivanovich). In doing so, he completely cured Andrey of oripathy, as confirmed by our own testing. Additionally, Bones then proceeded to treat Dr. Sussurro’s  oripathy in such a manner that her own infection was severely curbed, something that has never before been witnessed in the recorded history of Terra. 

Unfortunately, Bones’ abilities became widely known after his powers were witnessed by an Ursus doctor, and then an unknown vagrant. The doctor immediately informed the local authorities, who launched a massive manhunt for Bones, while the vagrant sold the information to members of the now defunct Bellone Famiglia who had fled to Ursus. 

All efforts to preserve Bones’ life and health are to be taken. For now, he is to be trained as a typical resident. However, should his lack of self care continue to manifest in outrageous risks, extreme measures are authorized. 

- Chief Medical Officer Warfarin. 

June 12th, 1100

Field operations always leave me feeling rather exhausted. This last one had been especially trying. It had been where I had first killed. I remember his face: he was a middle aged lupo, and he’d been trying to kill myself, James, and Dr. Gavial, not to mention the civilians present. I had trained all my life to heal, but for the first time, my hands had taken life instead of giving it. 

I still have nightmares about that mafioso's face. Even there, even in Ursus, the famiglia plagued me. I remember the Lestari Famiglia that operated in my childhood neighborhood. I mostly remember them making old Mr. Carvelli, who ran the arcade I spent so much of my time at, pay protection money. And I remember when they broke his hand when he was late on his payments. 

Do I regret killing that nameless thug? Yes. I regret that life forced me into a position where the best way I could preserve life was to take it. But if presented with the same circumstances, I would choose to kill him again. 

Saints and Angels knows I’ve killed often enough since then. I tell myself I’m a healer, not a killer, but I still cry in the dark hours of the night when I remember the faces of those who I did not save, but murdered. 

Still, I was in the briefing room. I’d already had a thorough decon and exam done by Dr. Warfarin. James was still in a coma at the time. At that point, I didn’t know how I felt about the man. He was equal parts frustrating and endearing. LIke a big, poorly house trained puppy. Adorable and more than capable of making you smile and laugh, but at the same time, capable of great destruction. Not out of malice, but out of sheer exuberance. Had I ever been like that? My parents would likely say yes, as would my various mentors. I had something of a history of creating large messes, though none so impressive as the ones James had managed in his very brief career thus far.

I was slumping in my seat with Gavial, who had several bandages on. She looked tired, but pleased with herself, as she usually did after great violence done for a good cause. I’ve never quite understood how Gavial is able to balance being both one of our greatest fighters and best healers. She gives off an air of being invincible, but she’s far from that. I’ve seen her in her rare private moments of vulnerability. When the hot tears come, and she mourns those we’ve lost, and berates herself for her perceived failures. Yet when the next dawn comes, her indomitable spirit rises once more, and she is Gavial the Great again. 

“So, you got out alive at least, huh?” Gavial said, glancing over at me. 

“Yes, where are the others? They weren’t on our VTOL,” I said, glancing around. It was just the two of us. Exusiai had insisted on clinging to James like a rock spider, and Texas was unconscious and in emergency surgery. That damn idiot had been taking Amp-X. If she wasn’t infected now, it would be a holy miracle of the Sankta themselves. 

“This is just for the two of us. I think the top brass are keeping this compartmentalized. Hard to blame them. And, well, I think the two of us are in for a legendarily epic tail-chewing.”

I groaned. “If only James could learn to control that tongue of his.”

“Huh? No, I mean for calling Babel Has Fallen. Why, what did that dumb idiot say this time?”

Before I could elucidate, the door slid open, and the leaders of Rhodes Island entered. First was Chief Medical Officer Warfarin, looking like she wanted to spit venom. That was never good. When Warfarin developed a temper, she had creative ways of making her displeasure known. Next came CEO Amiya, who smiled and came over to check on us. “You two look exhausted. Don’t worry, we’ll make this initial debrief quick, then let the two of you rest.”

“They can rest when they explain why the fuck they called Babel,” Warfarin growled, her red eyes sparkling. 

“You know why, Warfarin. Now is not the time to call these two to account. You know that it is not our policy to second guess our field operatives decisions in most circumstances. While I will grant that this is not most circumstances, I will also not overly examine the mouth of the burden beast they have gifted us with.”

Ah, yes, our ever loquacious leader, Director Kal’tsit. Honestly, the funniest thing I had heard all year was when James had told her to keep it to 20 words or less. It had been completely inappropriate of course, especially in those circumstances, but twist my tail if it hadn’t also been highly accurate. 

“Twenty words, Kal,” the last member of the command staff present said, and despite myself, I couldn’t help but laugh. Even Amiya had to hide a smile behind her hand, and Warfarin howled at the comment. Gavial chuckled, though she was too tired for much more. 

Kal’tsit regarded the speaker for a moment, her expression utterly neutral as ever. Their expression was unreadable, of course. I’ve never seen the Doctor without their hood on. The only one who ever conducts their medical exams is Kal’tsit. Honestly, I don’t even know what the Doctor’s gender is. They’ve never said, and respond to both male and female pronouns with ambivalence. There were bets early on as to which bathroom they would use, but the answer seems to be “whichever is closest.”

“I will tolerate that kind of disrespect from young men in highly stressful situations, especially when they are as valuable as this Dr. James McCoy seems to be. You, however, I will not tolerate such sass from. While you have begun to regain my trust in some small ways, our relationship is not yet one where such banter is appreciated. Do I make myself clear?”

Doctor shrugged, then turned to Amiya. “Well. This is your show.”

“Thank you, Doctor. Sussurro, Gavial, let’s keep this brief,” Amiya said in her firm but gentle way. She’d grown so much in the past five years, from awkward teenager to commanding adult. And now eight centimeters taller than I was. “We’re aware of the confrontation with the Emperor’s Blade and your meeting with Wei Yenwu. The details of that can wait. For now, we only need to know two things: First, what was the situation in Leithanien, and second, what, exactly, is this Dr. McCoy.”

“First of all, ma’am, I take full responsibility for calling Babel Has Fallen,” Gavial said, her back now ramrod straight despite her clear exhaustion. “I was in operational command at that point, and gave my personal authorization code for Hibiscus to squawk it. Don’t blame the kid, she was just doing what I told her.”

“This isn’t an inquiry panel, Gavial. There will be time for that later. For now, please, just explain what happened in Leithania and Dr. McCoy’s unique circumstances.”

“Well, I…” Gavial swallowed and glanced at me, now uncertain. “I mean, as to what happened in Leithanien, Texas and Exusiai got a bad feeling. Those two are some of the best damn scouts I’ve ever worked with. When your best eyes and ears tell you that something’s wrong, you listen. Turns out it was a damn good thing I did, because a few hours later, the whole city turned into a battleground when the damn Horn Followers attacked. As to Bones…”

“Bones?” the Doctor asked.

“James,” I clarified. “Exusiai decided he needed a nickname.”

“I like it. Warfarin, write that one down in his file,” the Doctor said.

“This is hardly the time to add another to your so-called collection,” Kal’tsit said, her right ear twitching slightly in irritation. 

“Helps me remember them. Anyway, keep going,” Doctor ordered. 

Gavial looked at me and nodded, so I sighed and continued. “You saw that the city devolved into chaos, and at least one of the Twin Empresses responded.”

“Both, actually, though what the fuck happened to Lieselotte I still don’t get,” Gavial said. “There was all this magic being thrown around, a god-damn ghost showed up, then that fucker Arturia Giallo started playing a song with the Empress, and Ch’en used that crazy sword of hers. When the dust cleared, the cultists were dead, but Lieselotte had vanished! They were about ready to round us up and kill us all for kidnapping her before you guys showed up.”

My ears twitched at that. Later, I would come to learn what we all did: the Horn Followers had managed to manifest the spirit of the Witch King. Virtuosa, also known as Arturia Giallo, along with Ch’en and Gavial, had helped seal away the spirit of the Witch King. What Gavial and Ch’en privately confirmed to me later was that to seal away the Witch King, Empress Lieselotte had been trapped as well. 

“Ah, well, our encounter with Empress Hildegard you witnessed yourselves,” I said. “We were rescued from the cultists by Team Rainbow. Apparently, they abandoned their contract with Maylander to render aid.”

“Hmmm,” Doctor said, folding their arms. “Kal, analysis?”

“You’ve read the briefings. Form your own,” she sniffed. 

Doctor kicked their legs out, leaning back in the chair. “Well, I don’t know much about ghosts, but this sounds like the same thing we ran into back in Londinium, doesn’t it? We should get Tin Man’s opinion on this, maybe ask Logos too. That said, the Horn Followers are growing a hell of a lot more bold. Leithanien is going to be destabilized with one Empress gone too. Hrmmm. Gonna be real hard to get good beer and sausage for a while.”

“That is your analysis? That your favorite brands of snacks and alcohol will be more difficult to obtain?” Kal’tsit demanded. 

Doctor shook their head. “It’s pertinent. Leithania provides a lot of supplies. They’re a major economic producer, and Victoria hasn’t recovered yet.”

“Mom, dad, don’t fight in front of the kids, you’ll make them cry,” Warfarin said in sing-song tones. 

Kal’tsit actually growled at Warfarin, who stuck her tongue out at her. Doctor shrugged, and only Amiya had the good graces to look mildly embarrassed by her command staff’s antics. 

“That’s enough for now. And Dr. McCoy? What of him?”

“Good kid. Tries, real hard,” Gavial said instantly. “He needs a firm hand to steer him straight, but he’s got the makings of a good doc. Give him to Lucia here and she’ll get his head on straight. Keep him the hell away from that menace Ack though. The two of them will blow up the whole damn landship.”

“I think they may be somewhat more concerned with the fact that not only is he from Earth, but he may also be able to cure oripathy,” I said, and Gavial shrugged. 

“Bullshit,” Warfarin said, turning from making faces at Kal’tsit’s back. “That’s impossible. No one can cure oripathy. Not even us.”

“I watched him do it. Watched him pull the crystals right out of a late stage 2 acute case and into his own body. Andrey Ivanovich is completely clean now. Test him yourselves. I had Hibiscus run the labs, but do it again. I doubt you’ll find even a trace of originium in his blood,” I said. Then I unbuttoned my jacket, and exposed my collarbone. “Notice anything?”

“You’ve got a good skin care routine,” Doctor commented. “That sunburn you got back in Dossoles is all gone. Not even any wrinkles.”

Honestly, I can never tell if Doctor is a genius, mad, a mad genius, or simply making sport of us all. 

“Your infection,” Amiya said, standing and coming over to examine me. “It’s…it’s gone? But…”

“I watched the kid rip the originium right out of her. He’d have purged the whole thing if only Lucia had let him finish,” Gavial said with a shake of her head. 

“Yes, well, he was exacerbating his own condition, and mine was already well managed,” I said, blushing and letting Warfarin and Kal’tsit examine me. 

“We’ll need to run a number of tests,” Kal’stit said, using her fingers to trace my now unblemished flesh. “But this is…startling.” 

“Well, drain me dry. Huh. Maybe you two aren’t completely hopeless after all,” Warfarin mused, tapping my skin with her finger. “We’ll run some tests to confirm, of course. Heh heh, I was hoping a cute little thing like you would end up in my lab!”

“I will be conducting the tests myself, Warfarin. Restrain yourself,” Kal’tsit said.

“Well at least give me some vials of blood! I promise not to drink them this time!” 

“You will be provided samples, but you will obey chain of custody and properly document their every use, down to the milliliter. This is not a circumstance where sloppy science will be tolerated. We must be utterly thorough and rigorous in our approach, for this may be our first and only chance to finally end the scourge that has plagued our world since time immemorial.”

“Plus, you can’t drink their blood. They’re infected,” Doctor pointed out. “Probably tastes all gritty.”

Kal’tsit looked like she wanted to hit Doctor. Doctor, as usual, was completely unreadable. 

Many have long pondered if Doctor deliberately provokes the Director, or simply comes by it naturally. Myself, I think perhaps they initially did so by accident, but now do so at least partly by design. Much like James at times, Doctor has more than a hint of mischief in their nature.

“This is indeed a great discovery. Thank you for your vigilance in delivering Dr. McCoy to us whole, Gavial and Sussurro,” Amiya said. “Both of you, report in for treatment. I want you to sleep in the medical department for observation tonight.”

I nodded gratefully, and both of us stood up and departed at the dismissal.

Gavial checked behind herself as we walked, then grinned. “Well, that went pretty good. Still got my tail!”

“Yes, I suppose. Do you think…do you think Warfarin would really try to do something to James?” I asked, feeling a tad nervous. 

“Eh, don’t sweat it. She talks a big game, but I’ve never seen her do too much shady stuff. Well, I mean, shady stuff that wasn’t for someone’s own good. Unless they pissed her off. But really, she doesn’t actually harvest people’s organs. Not anymore, anyway.”

I also sometimes wonder if Gavial is pulling my tail or is simply used to living with existential danger. Perhaps she simply assumes she is tough and strong enough to handle whatever life decides to throw at her. I must be far more cautious. Not only is virtually everyone a physical threat to me, but I lack the prowess at arms to even begin to defend myself from someone like Warfarin. If she decided to overpower me, there would be little I could do. So, I must take precautions to defend myself. A vulpo lives by their wits, not their brawn. 

Still, by that point I was much too tired to care. I checked myself into the clinic, and soon passed out. 

June 13th, 1100

They are keeping me all day today. Turns out, I overused my arts. Again. I should have known, really. I could see all the signs in myself, the burning muscles, the tachypneic breathing, and the fuzzing at the edge of my vision. I’ve done it often enough in the field that I should know to slow down and stop pushing myself. Instead, I’ve just gotten used to the symptoms and can ignore them more easily. 

Just like a certain oversized idiot. I hope James is alright. He’s still unconscious. If he dies, not only will the world lose the best chance at curing oripathy it’s had, but it will lose an outstanding doctor. 

I just have to not be an idiot about this. Mother always did say I was an overly romantic fool. 

Anyway, I guess I’ll spend the day trying to beat my own score at Wintermaul Wars. Weedy in Engineering got within 1000 points. How am I supposed to retain my reputation if I let someone out score me?

June 14th, 1100

My throne is secure once more. I worked all afternoon and into the morning today, and successfully eeked out another 64 points by abusing the bug with Crystal Shooter’s interaction with an Obelisk and over buffing its crit rate with some creative mazing. 

James was still out, but I had lunch today with Myrrh and Myrtle, who came to my room. 

“Man, why do you get all the cool missions? I just end up on the lame ones where we just deal with search and rescue and stuff,” Myrtle complained as she munched on her sandwich. 

“I hate going on combat ops,” Myrrh said, shivering. “I'd much rather stay on the landship and work in the pharmacy. Compounding medicines is much safer than running about a battlefield.”

“But the combat pay!” Myrtle said, waving about her sandwich. “It's a nice bonus, and it's way more fun to be out there than back here! I didn't come all the way to the surface just to laze around on the landship!” 

“It wasn’t supposed to be a combat op,” I pointed out, nibbling on my own food. It was mushrooms, cheese, and tomatoes on focaccia bread. My two best friends had known just how to cheer me up, even bringing me a bag of veggie straws and a sparkling lemonade. 

“Yes, how did setting up the clinic go?” Myrrh asked. 

“We got the staff properly trained and all the equipment set up before we were called away. I was supposed to stay for a few more weeks to oversee things, but that’s not what happened,” I said.

“Aw, that’s too bad. I know you were really looking forward to it!” Myrtle said, giving me a commiserating look. 

“Yes, well, I got to have an adventure, didn’t I?” I said. 

“Yeah, and the guy you found is pretty cute too!” Myrtle said enthusiastically, and I nearly choked on my food. 

“Myrtle, he’s enormous,” Myrrh said, sounding exasperated. “You know how the taller races view women like us.”

“Ugh, don’t I just. I’m 22! But people treat me like I’m still a kid or something,” Myrtle complained. 

For a short-lived race like the Durin, 22 was actually fairly old. Most Durin don’t live past their sixth decade, even with how peaceful their underground cities are and how excellent their healthcare tends to be. I was 23 myself, though Vulpo life expectancy is a bit longer at around 65 years. Absently, I wondered what Jame’s life expectancy was. Well, assuming he didn’t kill himself or die of oripathy. 

The world just isn’t fair, and vulpo having shorter lifespans than most other races is just a part of it. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be born a pegasus, like Maria Nearl. She was already 27, but considered a child by her people’s standards. But as my grandmother used to tell me, you wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one does you more good. 

“So?” Myrrh said, and I frowned at her. I’d been lost in my own thoughts for a moment. 

“Hmm, sorry?”

“Is he, you know…” Myrrh asked, dropping her voice. 

I blushed deeply. “Well I, ah, I would consider him more handsome than cute, but-”

“I KNEW IT!” Myrtle cried, jumping up and pointing at me. “You do like him! Hahah, I always said that the battlefield was the place where love can bloom!”

“T-that’s not, um, Lucia, I asked if the rumors were true and he can, um…cure you,” Myrrh whispered. 

“I helped take her blood earlier, and her count is way down! She might even be cured!” Myrtle said, grinning broadly.

“Keep it down,” I hissed, my eyes darting towards the door, but it remained shut. “And you know you’re not supposed to discuss patients' medical records! You’re going to get your nursing license revoked!” 

“Yeah, but you’re right here, and Myrrh is your friend and fills your prescriptions so, like, it’s not a big deal,” Myrtle mumbled around a mouthful of sandwich. 

“It’s still not very professional,” I said. Then sighed. “But…yes. My OBCD is down.”

“That’s so great! Does this mean that everyone is going to get cured now!?” Myrtle asked eagerly. 

I looked down at my sheets and fiddled with them. “I…I don’t know. Probably not. It still seems like it’s too good to be true.”

“Everyone’s talking about it. It’s supposed to be a secret, so of course the entire landship knows,” Myrrh sighed. “Though they’re not really sure what or how, the rumors are spreading that an entire family was cured of oripathy.”

“Well, you can tell them all that this is simply not true, nor have I been cured of oripathy. I’m still going to continue my treatment plan, even if it will need adjustment.”

“Hmm, OK, but that’s not the exciting part!” Myrtle leaned forward. “Is this new doctor guy hot!? Does he like you!?”

“He’s a colleague that I barely know, Myrtle. And my love life is frankly not nearly as interesting as a potential cure for oripathy.”

“Yeah but that’s like, big picture stuff. You’re one of my best friends! I want the juicy details!” Myrtle said eagerly.

I leaned back and sighed. “He probably considers me to be a child like everyone else, Myrtle. That’s why I stick to dating other vulpo.”

“Well, that’s boring. I’ve dated lots of people! You should try it,” Myrtle huffed. 

“Speaking of, are you still going out with Verdant?” I asked. 

“Harry? Yeah, me and him are still going steady. He brought me this!” Myrtle showed the yellow chrysanthemum in her hair, and Myrrh and I both made appropriate noises. 

“You two are having safe sex, right?” I asked.

Myrrh went beet red, but Myrtle took it in stride and nodded. “Y-yeah, of course! He’s super careful about it. Doesn’t want me to get infected. Although…” She looked wistful. “If he could get cured…maybe we could have kids. I am 22 now. Old baby maker isn’t going to work for that much longer.”

“That’s, um, you still have another ten years at least, Myrtle,” Myrrh said, adjusting her glasses. “All three of us are still young…”

“Pff, by my age, my mom had four kids! Not that I want to settle down and have a family right away, you know, but Harry’s a good guy. I think…well, maybe we have a future together,” Myrtle said, looking slightly abashed. 

“That’s wonderful,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. I glanced at Myrrh. “You and Gantt are still dating, right?” 

“Oh, yes!” Myrrh grinned at the mention of her boyfriend. “We’re taking a trip to Columbia to meet his parents! I…I think he might propose soon! I just…I hope they like me…I’m from a rural tribe and…h-he lives in the big city…what if they think I’m not sophisticated enough?”

“Then they’re stupid and don’t deserve you. Sophistication is overrated!” Myrtle declared.

“I’m sure it’ll be great. Gantt comes from a pretty humble background. I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” I reassured Myrrh. 

“See, this is why we have to set her up with that new doctor! You ever notice how few single guys there are on the landship? It’s criminal, I tell you!” Myrtle harrumphed. 

“Myrtle, please do not try to set me up with James,” I groaned. “I’m perfectly happy being single.”

Myrtle and Myrrh shared a glance, and I blushed. They’d heard me cry over bottles of wine about how hopeless my love life was, and seen how miserable I’d been for weeks after I broke it off with Steward. He and Merry really were good for one another, it’s just…I had thought he was the one…

Which is why I was determined to not make an idiot of myself over an alien I met barely a week ago. High stress environments lead to an outpouring of emotions, and relationships based off of such emotions rarely work out. Besides, James seemed to have a thing for Exusiai. At the time, I figured that she was taller, like him, so it was only natural. Though I knew that if Exusiai was even mildly religious, he would be in for disappointment. 

What I wouldn’t have given to be even a couple of centimeters taller. Or have a more noticeable bust. Though in that crowd, I suppose I couldn’t complain. I mentally call us the Short Flat Club, because all three of us are ‘vertically challenged’ as James so glibly put it, and are lacking in womanly attributes. I really shouldn’t be concerned about that: I’m a doctor, with a successful career at the bleeding edge of oripathy research. There are thousands of women who would kill to trade places with me. 

…I just wish I was built more like Gavial. 

Yes, yes, spit in the other…

Anyway, to prove myself a liar, as soon I was discharged an hour after lunch, I went and made some fowlbeast broth for James. Maybe I wasn’t tall, but dammit, I could and can cook. You know what they say about the best way to man’s heart…

It’s through his fourth and fifth rib. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 8

Entry 12, Day 28

I only got about two hours of sleep before Exusiai hauled me to my feet and shouted, “We need to go, now!” 

I stumbled into motion, nerves already fried from adrenaline as I tried to figure out what was going on. Sussurro was getting up with Texas’s help, and the four of us were hurrying towards the back door of the makeshift hospital. There were still dozens of dying and wounded, but Sussurro and I had worked as long as we could before we were dead on our feet, and the couple hours of rest were not near enough to get us back to effective status. 

“What’s…what’s happening? Horn Followers?” I said, my sluggish brain trying to catch up. 

“No, they’ve been beaten back. It’s the Empresses. They’re here,” Exusiai said. “And that means we need to get you back to ground, Bones!” 

“But, there’s more people we can help! We, we can’t just-” I babbled.

“Look, the Empresses brought in full disaster response units. Their medical team will be here shortly,” Exusiai said. “You did good, Bones. But now we need to split!”

I looked back at the people who still needed my help, the bloody bandages, the weeping, the screams. That was where I belonged. I was in over my head, I wasn’t the best doctor, but I was all there was at the moment. I started to resist, until someone took my other arm. 

“James…Exusiai is right. We’ve done what we can. Now we need to go,” Sussurro said quietly. “I’m sorry. If they catch two infected doctors working in this hospital…it would be bad for us.”

I slumped, but nodded, and hobbled out after Texas, who despite probably getting even less sleep than I had, seemed perfectly alert and awake. “This way.”

We started down the back alleys, but neither Sussurro nor I could move very fast. Hours and hours of grueling work on your feet take time to recover from. We’d worked at least a 15 hour shift, from mid afternoon until after dawn, and it wasn’t even noon now. It’s a miracle we were able to stumble along, even like zombies. 

However, we hadn’t gone very far when the screams behind us started, along with a couple of explosions. Sussurro and I immediately slowed, while Exusiai actually spun on her heels, pointing her guns behind us. We heard the sound of discordant music, and more cries of panic and terror. 

“The Echos! They’re attacking the hospital!” I gasped, and took half a step forward, only to have someone grab my arm. 

“We need to go. Now,” Texas said firmly. 

“People are dying! It’s my fault!” I protested. “We have to do something!” 

“The whole plan is to keep you safe,” Texas repeated. “We need to go.”

“Texas…”

Texas looked up at Exusiai, who was shifting from side to side. “Exusiai…”

“Look, I get trying to keep Bones safe, but…can you really turn your back on people in need?” Exusiai asked.

Sussurro shivered, her eyes haunted. “The smart thing is to leave, but…”

“Look, I’ll keep my head down,” I said, and pointed to the side, where there was a dumpster. “Stick me in that! I’m ass in a fight anyway. You go save them.”

Texas’s eyes shifted from me, to the dumpster, then to Exusiai. 

“What would Sora do, Cellinia?” Exusiai asked. 

“She’d go,” Texas said instantly. She shook her head. “Dr. Sussurro?”

“I…” Sussurro swallowed, then looked to me. “La coda e le orecchie della nonna.

I’m not very smart either. We’re Rhodes Island. We have to help.”

That seemed to decide it for Texas. “Stay behind me. Exusiai. Cover us.” 

“Let’s rock and roll!” Exusiai said enthusiastically, her cheeks dimpling as she grinned. Sussurro pulled out a crossbow, and I looked about like an idiot. 

“Here. Don’t hurt yourself,” Texas said, and pulled a large knife from her boot before handing it to me. 

I’m not what you would call martially excellent, but I at least know how to handle a knife. Got my Totin’ Chit and everything, and I’ve never cut myself cooking. Not that I’m much of a cook, mind you, but I do know how to chop up some onions or potatoes. 

Still, I gripped the knife, then jogged to keep up with Sussurro as Texas dashed ahead. I’ve seen people run before, but watching Texas run has to be like watching Usain Bolt do it. Only, Texas was wearing full battle rattle and carrying swords that I’m fairly sure no reasonable person on Earth ever used. I was only able to just keep up to watch as Texas reached the clinic, where a couple of Horn cultists were attacking the medics.

I don’t want to say Texas teleported, she did move between point A and point B. It’s just that she did so in a manner that my eyes couldn’t track. One moment she was 100 feet away and the cultists were just noticing her, then next, three of them were dead and in pieces, and the fourth was keeling over from Exusiai sniping them through the head. 

“Move, move, move!” Exusiai urged, and puffing, Sussurro and I booked it for the clinic. We got there just in time for me to see an explosion blow out the few remaining windows, and hear the cries of wounded and dying. 

I peeked out the window, then swore. “That’s the boss! That’s, uh, the enemy leader, what's his name!” 

It was a goat horned pretty boy, snarling and slinging around arts. Not Ebenholz, but one of the bad guys whose name I just do not know, but I recognized him from the dialogues I skipped past. 

Texas and this guy were going at it, hammer and tongs. He had twenty or so cultists with him, and he was slinging around some serious arts as he played on a damn accordion, of all things. Only instead of Polka, whatever this guy was doing was making the earth erupt and boil, and the air split with lightning as he played. Texas was shooting swords at him with every swing of her blade, but he was blocking those with barriers or shattering them with sound. 

I had no time for that, however, as there were more injured. Instead, I knelt and just started helping the wounded, trusting that Texas and Exusiai had this handled. Sussurro was doing the same, treating a kid whose arm had been ripped up by arts, while I was treating a man whose leg had been detonated by the burning earth spell. 

I heard gunfire and more screams, and tried to focus on my work. Then, I heard Exusiai scream. Not a battlecry, but one of pain and fear. I hastily finished my tourniquet, then ran over to where Exusiai was down, scrabbling at her neck, where a glowing fragment of…something, I wasn’t sure what, was embedded. 

I had no time to think. That was a fatal injury. Exusiai was going to drown in her own blood, if not simply bleed out in moments. I did the exact wrong thing to do: I ripped out the nasty thing, screaming in pain as it felt like grabbing molten lava that also shocked you. Then I poured all the arts I had into Exusiai. My vision blurred, narrowing to a fine point, and when I finished, I just collapsed. 

What happened after I had to get from Lemuel and Lucia. Exusiai apparently was able to get back up after I miraculously healed her. However, my outpouring of Arts did not go unnoticed. The Horn Cultist leader made a call, shouting something about finding “the foretold outlander” and firing off a beam of light into the air that cast a strange shadow. Texas used that opportunity to cut the bastard's head off, and Exusiai shot the rest of the cultists dead. 

“James, James!? Look at me! There, focus on my finger. Can you see it?”

Sussurro’s voice. My head was cradled in her lap, and she had a finger she was slowly waving back and forth. It took a second, but my eyes were able to focus on it. “Y-yeah…”

“Can you walk?” she asked. 

I tried to sit up, but my muscles just didn’t respond. “I…I don’t think so…”

“Merda di merda! Exusiai! Help!” 

My angel was there in a moment, grim faced and covered with her own blood. She hauled me up, impressive as I overtop her by almost ten inches. But she slung my left arm over her shoulders, while Sussurro got the right. They dragged me out of the clinic, to where Texas was finishing off the remaining cultists with a twist of her blade. She looked up, fury covering her face, but then she saw Exusiai, alive and well, and the wrath drained from her. 

“Lemuel! You…you are well?”

“Bones saved me,” Exusiai croaked, her voice more than a little raw. “Let’s book it. He’s down for the count.”

“Copy. Follow me.”

We couldn’t move fast, not with me being dragged like a sack of potatoes. I tried to help, but my legs just weren’t listening to me. My entire body was burning with pain, especially my right hand, which felt like it had withered up and fallen off, though when I saw it dangling over Sussurro’s shoulder, it looked fine. 

We hadn’t gone far before more cultists arrived. They tried to attack, but Texas’ blood was up, and she was taking zero prisoners. The first group to show themselves was impaled on so many blades that rained down from the sky that they looked like pincushions. The next ran right into her blades, and ended up in at least three times as many pieces as they’d started in. It was horrifying, and beautiful. Texas moved like this was a dance that she had long ago memorized, not a single wasted motion, not a single instant of hesitation. Just elegantly executed death. 

Exusiai had a pistol in one hand and pulled off some shots I would have told you were impossible. She even put the gun behind her back and shot someone dead in the chest using the reflection off a car's side mirror. All without breaking stride and puffing like a bellows. 

But, even Texas can’t fight forever. Ten minutes in, and she was visibly slowing, as well as wounded. Even without missing a step, Texas had taken several hits and was bleeding from multiple wounds. She refused to slow down to accept treatment, pressing on. 

I thought we were going to die a death from a thousand cuts, when the radio crackled to life. 

“Delta-five-niner, this is Watchtower. On your eight, multiple hostiles. Engaging.”

We turned to see more cultists running at us, and Texas began to limp that direction. Only for an all too familiar sound to echo across the battlefield, cultists falling in a hail of bullets. 

“That’s…that’s gunpowder,” I gasped. 

The cultists tried to fight back, but their opponents were on the roof on one side, and coming out of an alley on the other. I’m not a tactician, but it looked like a textbook ambush. The cultists all went down, and four figures ran up to us as four more stood overwatch on the roof. I recognized all of them. After all, I’d gone whole hog on their banner. 

“T-Team Rainbow?” I slurred as Ash, Frost, Doc, and Lord Tachanka himself ran up to us. 

“Oh, you is recognizing us?” Tachanka said, grabbing me from the exhausted Exusiai and Sussurro and easily lifting me. Doc was tending to Texas wounds, as she’d just collapsed to the ground, leaning on her swords to even sit up. “I have not been doing such a good job, it seems.”

“Cut the chatter, people,” Ash barked. “Into cover, now! There’s still more of those hostiles close by!” 

We were all scooped up into a nearby building, where after making sure Texas wasn’t going to die, Doc came to crouch by me, with Sussurro right beside him. 

“Hmm. Looks like arts overuse. Didn’t they tell you to be more careful with that, friend?” Doc said conversationally as he pulled out a needle, then jabbed me in the leg. 

“Bones isn’t very good at listening,” Sussurro said, quickly taking my vitals. “And he hasn’t had long to practice his arts.”

“Hey everybody,” I slurred, the shot apparently having contained some sort of adrenaline that was getting my heart going in a hurry. “I’m hic James McCoy. Oh yeah, I’m a doctor now. Sorry ‘bout all this. Hey, you guys know how to get back to Kansas? ‘Cause I’m fresh out of Ruby Slippers.”

The Rainbow Six Operators all froze for an instant. It was barely perceptible, but they clearly tensed up. 

“Ебать,” Tachanka growled. “Another one? I am not recognizing you. You are also a member of Rainbow?”

“Nah, I’m straight, but your banner was pretty cool. Glad you guys got a rerun, oh hi, Ela, you’re pretty cool too,” I babbled. 

“Don’t listen to him. James has a terminal case of Diarrhea of the Mouth,” Sussurro sighed, standing. “James. I am glad you got to meet the rest of your people. Now shut up.”

“Ok. Did you know you’re hic kinda cute? Like, really pretty. You too, Lemuel. Both very pretty. I-”

“I am thinking is time for you to be quiet, Mr. McCoy,” Tachanka said, and pinched my lips shut. 

“That is…an odd reaction,” Doc said, glancing at the needle. “That was just a standard anti-arts drug. Normally, it makes people sleepy, but I haven’t seen it work as a truth serum.”

“Maybe he has ADHD? That can cause odd reactions with certain medications,” Sussurro mused.

I shook my head and tried to say something, but Tachanka kept a hand over my mouth. 

“He’s like us?” Ash asked Sussurro, who nodded. She puffed up her cheeks then blew out. “Fantastic. Right. What was the Babel Has Fallen for? We were expecting to find Rhodes Island under attack, Dr. Sussurro.”

“For James. He’s…special,” Sussurro replied. 

“I am noticing,” Tachanka said dryly. “But we are not usually responding for idiot who cannot keep mouth shut. Even if he is stranger like us.”

I was starting to feel warm all over, and the pain was rapidly fading. Honestly, I felt like I was drunk, or maybe high, though I’d never so much as smoked a blunt. Odd for a California boy, I know, but after learning about the effects of marijuana, mild as they are, I decided I wasn’t going to be OK with mediocrity and eating Scooby Snacks and avoided the stuff. I don’t even ever have more than one or two drinks, bit of a teetotaler. 

“Mmmm, mmmm!” I said, and tried to pull free from Tachanka. He kept his hand over my mouth, and he was far too strong for me to shift. 

“Ela, what’s the situation?” Ash demanded, turning to the other squad leader. 

“Leithanien forces are sweeping through the city and taking out the Horn Followers. They’re getting close to here. If we hunker down, they should be here soon. Might solve some problems for us,” Ela said, eyeing me suspiciously. 

“Can’t…can’t let Bones…fall into…Empresses’ hands,” Texas panted, still looking much the worse for wear. 

The Rainbow Six operators nodded. 

“I’d prefer to keep out of their hands myself,” Ash agreed. “Alright. We move out. Rhodes Island is still hours off, that Catastrophe just ended and it’s going to be a bear to get past even still. I’ll-”

I was slapping at Tachanka’s arms, and he swore when I bit his thumb, dropping me. “What is wrong with-”

I was red faced now and gasping for breath, but I managed to wheeze out, “T-tachycardia, having, having an adverse-”

Sussurro was there in an instant, as was Doc, both of them frantically trying to figure out what was happening to me. 

“His veins! They’re turning black!” Doc hissed, and Sussurro growled in anxiety. 

“His arm! His arts are going-”

I couldn’t contain it anymore. I screamed as that fire began to burn in my veins.

“What did you give him!?” Sussurro demanded, turning on Doc. 

“Neuroquelin! It’s the standard treatment for someone who has overused arts!” 

“Neuroquelin…it shouldn’t be causing this, I’ve never seen…” Sussurro shook her head, but I could see…I could see her whole nervous system. All her organs, layered in her body, little glowing flecks inside of her. 

“I can…I can see you,” I hissed through my teeth. 

“That’s good, vision is fine then, I-”

“No,” I gasped. “I can see…the oripathy. Inside of you. It’s…”

I reached out a hand, and Sussurro took it, a look of deep concern on her face. “James…don’t do anything foolish.”

“I, I won’t, I just-” I gasped as my heart continued to race. 

“Try an arts amplifier drug,” Sussurro said, her eyes locked on mine. “That would counter act the Neuroquelin. Do you have Artilune?”

“No, none of us have arts,” Doc said, sounding frustrated. 

“Left breast. Pocket,” Texas said, and Exusiai hastily dug out a plastic coated automatic syringe, then hurried over

“It’s not Artilune. It’s Amp-X. Texas…uses the potent stuff.”

“Half a dose then,” Sussurro said, and jabbed me with the needle. I didn’t even notice, squeezing her hand so tight I bruised her, though I didn’t notice until later. 

A numbness slowly spread out from the location of the jab. I sighed as my heart rate slowed, and my muscles slowly uncramped. 

“This is…very odd. Normally, Arts suppressors are downers, and the Arts Amplifiers are uppers,” Sussurro said, taking my pulse at the wrist. She glanced at Doc. “Have you ever seen such a reaction from your people?”

“No, I only have those so I can treat an ally. As I said, none of us have arts, so we’ve never taken any,” Doc said with a shake of his head. 

“Can you move?” Sussurro asked me. 

I tried to get to my feet, but my legs felt like jelly and I had to sink back. “Probably not. Sorry. I feel like the damn MacGuffin, or an NPC in an escort quest.”

“What was that about you seeing oripathy?” Doc said, frowning at me. He glanced at my hand, then back at me. “You’ve got a case, I see. But…you said…?”

“Yeah, I’m from SanFran. But somehow, I gave myself super cancer,” I yawned, feeling a sense of lassitude wash over me. 

“Like Lucia said. Bones here is special,” Exusiai said, patting me on the shoulder. 

Blitz suddenly snorted. “Because he’s a doctor, not a miracle worker?”

“Fuck you too, man. Damn trekkies,” I grumbled. 

“We good?” Ash said, and got a nod from Sussurro as Tachanka hefted me in a damn princess carry. Doc helped Texas to her feet, and she was able to stagger, though she looked pretty wiped out. 

“Hold on,” I said. “C’mere. Got something I can do for Texmex.”

Tachana obligingly brought me close enough to Texas for me to grab her, and I poured a bunch of arts into her. 

“Dammit, James, that was what we were trying to avoid!” Sussurro snapped. 

However, using the arts had made me feel a lot better. I flexed my hand and shook my head. “Actually…I’m fine.”

“This isn’t making any medical sense! You had arts overload, then you had an adverse reaction to the suppressor, now using more arts after giving you an amp that should have made you go haywire calms you down!?” Sussurro shook her head in frustration. “This makes no medical sense!” 

“I know when you hear hooves, you’re supposed to think horses, but I’m pretty sure I’m a zebra in this context,” I told her. The look of bafflement I got back made me sigh. 

“He’s talking about, oh, Burdenbeasts and Slumberfoots,” Doc mused. “You really are from Earth, aren’t you, McCoy?”

“I’ve been told I should keep my ‘weird alien knowledge’ to myself. Speaking of, you guys got gunpowder now?”

“I am thinking that is qualifying as ‘weird alien knowledge,’” Tuchanka grunted as we moved out. Texas was back on her feet, though she still looked bushed. “Maybe be keeping thoughts inside small brain of yours. I am fearing they will be leaking out otherwise.”

I switched over to Ursus, we’d been speaking English, and told him, “I learned Russian, by the by. Neat trick, huh?  You guys get any new languages?”

“That is not Russian, comrade. You are speaking Ursus. Very similar, that surprised me. But it’s not Russian. Sounds like my grandfather, if he were from Siberia.”

“Huh, I haven’t really heard anyone speaking Columbian, now that I think about it. They keep assuming I’m from there though, so it must be close?”

“Yes. Many countries match up. Everyone thinks Doc is from Gaul, Ela is from Kazimierz, and so on. When did you arrive, comrade? It took me many months to learn all this.”

“Uh, so anyway, like I said…way back home?” I asked hopefully. “Not that, um, I can go just yet. Pressing business and all, but…is it an option?”

Tuchanka grunted. “Honestly, when I heard you start talking about Earth, I was hoping you might know a way. How did you arrive here?”

I was quiet for a moment. A rarity for me, to be sure. Then I said, “I died, I think. I was trying to save a kid from getting hit by a car that passed a school bus. Think I pushed him out of the way, but then I felt this intense pain, then….then I woke up in Ursus.”

“Ah.” Tachanka was quiet for a moment, and shook his head. “Sorry. We arrived…in another way. And to answer your question, no. I speak the same languages I did when I arrived. English, Russian, German, and Pashto.”

“Pashto? Where do they speak that? Sargon?” I asked. 

“Afghanistan.”

“Afghani- Oh. Ohhhhhh. Shit. Sorry. My older brother…he was there. Served from 2017-2021.”

“Ah. And how is he?”

“Married, with two kids. He and his wife live in Phoenix, Arizona. He’s an auto mechanic. He’s good, just…he doesn’t like to talk about what happened there. Guess I know why now.”

Tachanka grunted. “I suppose you do. When we get to Rhodes Island, we will drink vodka and talk.”

“I didn’t used to drink. I also didn’t used to see so much death. Guess I see the appeal now.”

“Quiet,” Tachanka grunted, as the column came to a halt. Blitz was running back to us, looking worried. 

“Good news is, no crazy musical cultists up ahead,” he said, crouching low with the rest of us behind a hedgerow. “Bad news is that the Gesatzswächter is up ahead, and so is Empress Hildegard.”

“That the dark one or the light one?” I whispered. 

Blitz glanced at me. “Dark one. Why?”

I grimaced. “Sussurro, um, pow wow?” 

Tachanka set me down so Sussurro could put her big fluffy ear up against my mouth, and I hissed, “She’s supposed to get trapped in the shadow realm, whatever it’s called, when they try to stop the revived Witch King. But if that doesn’t happen…I don’t know. I think I fucked with the timeline.”

Sussurro nodded, then looked over at Ela and Ash, who were quietly conferencing. “Can we avoid them?”

“We’re going to try, but the Gesatzswächter are good. Very good. And since they’re mostly casters, we have a damn hard time countering them. We didn’t train for it originally, and even with Maylander’s help, we aren’t best suited to this,” Ash said with a grimace. 

“Oh shit, you guys work for Maylander? Is Tin Man here?” I said, glancing around. 

“He really can’t shut the hell up, can he?” Ela said with a shake of her head. 

Oops. 

“I think someone needs a crash course in Op Sec before he’s ever allowed in the field,” Ash said, frowning at me. 

I gave her a sheepish grin, and mimed zipping my mouth shut. I’d gotten in trouble a couple of times for HIPPA violations. Never anything major, but enough to get written up. I had thought I was getting better…

We moved out again, but we hadn’t gone far before a wall of black flames appeared before us. We skidded to a stop, with everyone looking around in alarm. 

“Halt! Nicht bewegen!”

Dark shapes materialized, and I recognized the elite knight guys who worked for the Empresses. They were magic knights, which meant that they were all masters of Arts, since Leithanien was basically the arts capital of the entire world. 

“Well, well, well. Rhodes Island, Maylander, and Penguin Logistics? This is a surprise,” a deep female voice said, as the Black Empress herself stepped forward. She was tall and imperious looking, and radiated a menacing aura about her. 

“Kneel!” Sussurro hissed at us, hastily getting to her own knees. 

There was shuffling, as everyone, even the R6 operatives, got down on their knees in supplication to the Black Empress. Well, everyone but me, though Tachanka helped me get to a kneeling position. 

“Your Majesty,” Sussurro said, eyes on the pavement. “We were simply trying to escape the chaos. We did not wish to cause any inconvenience.”

“That is not what I have heard,” Hildegard said, slapping a glove in her palm and looking down her nose at us. I felt my blood freeze, until she said, “Rhodes Island has been rendering aid to Our Citizens, healing the sick and wounded, as well as fighting against the Herkunftshorn. As has Penguin Logistics. But Maylander…you came here quite quickly, didn’t you?”

“When trouble calls, Maylander is there. Majesty,” Ash said, her eyes still down. 

“Hmm. There has been a great deal of trouble of late. Following this one.”

A pair of fine shoes appeared in front of me, and I swallowed. My eyes flicked up, but I was too weak to really crane my neck. Only Tachanka’s hand on my collar was keeping me from just collapsing right then and there. I felt better, but still like a limp noodle. 

“First, you flee Shiraziberg. I have heard rumors that you did so against the will of an Emperor’s Blade. Commendable. But then, you travel to Lungmen, and meet with Wei Yenwu. Indeed, his own niece arrived in the city with you. And now, you travel with…outlanders.”

A hand reached down, and a finger tilted my chin up. I looked up, and beheld dark beauty. Hildegard had dark hair, violet eyes, and black horns like an antelope. She was dressed in a black military suit, with golden pauldrons and cord. Just like her in game sprite, but the power that radiated from her…it was incredible. 

“What is your name? Do not lie. I have the manifest, but it is falsified.”

In that moment, I couldn’t even dream of lying. Something about her voice compelled me to speak, made me ache to answer her. I opened my mouth and-

There were cries of outrage and rattles of steel, and the air crackled with power as a blade interposed itself between the Empress and me, followed by the muzzle of a gun.

“Stay…back,” Texas panted, barely on her feet, her arm trembling, legs shaking, sweat beading on her brow. 

“Sorry, Majesty! But this one’s ours,” Exusiai said, her tone chipper. “I’m gonna have to ask you to back up a couple steps. Respectfully, of course.”

The Empress raised an eyebrow. “You would defy me?”

“Boss…said…to get…him…through,” Texas panted. 

“It’s not personal. Just company policy,” Exusiai said matter of factly. 

“Exusiai! Texas! What are you doing!?” Sussurro gasped, springing to her own feet. “We can’t-”

“Majestät!” one of the guards shouted. “Hinter uns!” 

Hildegard half turned, as a roaring sound washed over us along with the backwash of rotors. A moment later, a red streak dropped out of a VTOL, and a burning figure landed in a crater, carrying a white robed woman. A moment later, the fiery woman stepped forward, and a chainsaw revved. 

It was her. My One True Waifu. Blaze, elite operator of Rhodes Island. A long mane of black hair, held back by a scarlet headband, two big cat ears, a devil-may-care smile, and a body wreathed in flames. She was dressed differently than her in-game image, wearing what I now saw as the usual body armor, though hers had a distinctive Rhodes Island crest on it, and her arms were bare, as they were covered in flames. 

Next to her was the Old Well herself. Her expression was about as emotive as Texas’s usually was, and she was dressed in a green lab coat, though instead of heels, she had practical looking boots. But it was Kal’stit alright, stethoscope around her neck and all. 

“Monst3r,” Kal’stit said quietly, and with a hideous screech, a horrific many-legged demon that was more than 20 feet tall appeared behind her in a billow of green and black fog. 

“Director Kal’stit,” the Empress said as her guard formed a protective screen between her and the newcomers. 

“Empress Hildegard. I am afraid that I am going to need to request that you step away from our employees. While at this time Rhodes Island does not wish for hostilities, we-”

“Oh for Pete’s sake,” I groaned. “Twenty words or less!”

To my shock, Sussurro actually let out a nervous giggle. Then kicked me. 

Kal’tsit regarded me for a moment, apparently not appreciating the interruption, but it was Hildegard who spoke next. 

“Then the rumors are true. This man can cure oripathy. And Rhodes Island is willing to go to war to get him,” the Black Empress said. 

“Blyat,” Tuchuka growled, already on his feet with his weapon readied. 

“He’s one of the Infected, which means Rhodes Island is here to fight for him!” Blaze declared, her flames flaring up slightly. 

“Give me one good reason I should not simply slay you all for your insolence and take this prize for myself,” Hildegard hissed, arts crackling in her left hand as she drew what looked like a conductors baton.

“Hi, yes, it’s me, the guy you’re fighting over? Can I say something?” I said hopefully. 

Hildegard turned one eye on me, and Sussurro hissed, “James!” 

“Look, uh, we got off on the wrong foot, um, your Majesty,” I babbled, and I knew I was babbling. “But really, um…we should be working together, right? Like, you know, advancing medical science for the good of all Mankind? Or humanity, or whatever we’re gonna call it.”

“That man has a contract with Rhodes Island, and is one of our operators. We will take whatever steps are necessary to secure him. Whatever information he holds, it is something that Rhodes Island would be willing to share with Leithanien. You know that we do not jealously guard information, Empress Hildegard. Rather, we seek to be the light in the darkness for all-”

“The man is impudent, but he has a point, Director. Please, be brief,” Hildegard interrupted.

Oh good. I wasn’t the only skipper here.

“I would not sour our relationship, Empress,” Kal’tsit said, her tone rather robotic. Which, you know, makes sense, all things considered. “However, James McCoy is coming with us. And he will do so with your blessing, or by force. You may choose.”

“You threaten me, here? In my own city?” Hildegard said. Her voice was even, but cold, her menacing aura growing ever stronger. 

Then, there was a click and a whirr, as the R6 team, Sussurro, Texas, and Exusiai all touched their ears. 

PTRS Online. Connecting Operators. Please stand by for orders.

Hildegard hissed, and she looked up, even as the VTOL made another pass to set down. “He is here?! The Ghost?!”

“The Doctor is present, yes. We felt this operation was worthy of the highest level of urgency, and thus, have brought all our pieces to this table,” Kal’tsit said. 

Hildegard snarled, readying her arts, and I flopped my hand up. “Wait! Ma’am! Please!”

“Not now!” Exusiai snarled, dragging me back as the R6 team faced off against the Gesatzswächter.

“I came here to save lives!” I gasped. “I tried, OK? I tried to save…to save so many. I know I couldn’t save Greta Baumann, but give me a chance! Give me a chance to save as many people as I can!”

For a few seconds longer, the stand off intensified, then Hildegard suddenly raised a fist. “Abtreten.” 

The Gesatzswächter didn’t look happy, but they lowered their weapons and stopped chanting. Slowly, Hildegard turned to me. “What did you say?”

“I said,” I took a deep breath, struggling to even stay upright with Sussurro and Exusiai’s help. “I said I couldn’t save Greta Baumann. I…I tried. But I missed that she had suffered severe cranial trauma and was hemorrhaging and leaking CFS. I…I’m not even a proper doctor, yet. Just a medical intern. But I want…I want to save as many people as I can. If I can help the Infected? I’ll do that. Do you…do you really think I could save the most lives, staying here, in Leithanien? Because if you do, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Old Man Wei: I will do, whatever I can, to heal the sick. Wherever they are. So, can you, Empress Hildegard, tell me straight up, that you taking me, is going to help the most people? Or would I be able to save more lives going with Rhodes Island.”

“And what if I do not care how many lives you save? Only if you can strengthen Leithanien.”

“Well, I’d say that the horn eating wackos are probably only the first group that is going to try to get their hands on me. Actually, I lied. The first group was a bunch of mafia goons. The second was an Emperor’s Blade. The third was Der Graf Pangwen. Sorry if I butchered the pronunciation. You’re just the latest. Honestly, I’m sort of a problem wherever I go.”

“Der Graf-” Hildegard glanced at Texas, who was still on her feet, somehow, blades up, staring right back. “Ah. I see. Some things begin to make sense.”

For what felt like an eternity, Hildegard studied me intently. At last, she said, “You would cause more trouble. And, it seems, you do care, Dr. McCoy. If that is your real name. Very well. Gesatzswächter, Abtreten.”

The ranks parted, slowly, revealing a path to the now landed VTOL. The ramp lowered, and a figure in a dark hood, face obscured by a mask, stood in the hold, hands in the pockets of the long raincoat. It was him. The Doctor. The Ghost of Babel.

The Oracle. 

“My sister and I will not forget this intrusion, Director. Rhodes Island, for now, has our forbearance. You have rendered us great aid in the past, but this is a mighty sin to overlook. We will expect results. Results to be shared with Leithanien,” Hildegard said as I limped past her. 

Texas was still on watch, refusing help, despite the fact that bloodstains were soaking through her uniform. 

“We were aware there would be a price to pay, Empress. I am merely grateful that there was no need to shed further blood of those who should be our allies, not our enemies,” Kal’tsit said in a remarkable display of brevity for her. 

Everyone piled into the VTOL, with Monst3r vanishing back into Kal’tsit’s…spine, I think? I should ask about that.

Actually, I should definitely not ask about that. 

Kal’tsit came to loom over me, and started talking. 

I didn’t really hear what she said. At that point, finally safe, my brain decided now was a good time to power down. 

That’s probably one reason I’m pretty sure Kal’tsit hates me now. Along with that whole 20 words or less thing. 

Oh well. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 12

Animula Choragi 12: I Dreamed a Dream 

The Truth might set you free, but right at the moment, Charlotte was feeling more frustrated than anything else. She tried to smile, as Barbs was practically bouncing off the walls, a wide grin on her face. “I got the part, Lotte! They cast me as Cosette! I actually got the part!” 

“That’s huge, Barbs,” Charlotte said, forcing a smile onto her face. “I knew you could do it!” 

Barbara calmed down a bit, looking worried for a moment. “Do you think…do you think I got the part because of my mother? Because…I’m an Orleans?”

“It probably didn’t hurt, but you were also the best one to try out for Cosette. And you know I can’t lie,” Charlotte said. That wasn’t quite true; Charlotte was technically capable of lying. It just made her violently ill, and she could feel her Vision dimming whenever she even tried. It made her about as good at lying as a four-year-old, but that didn’t matter. The Truth was always the right answer to everything anyway. 

“You seem kinda bummed? What’s going on?” Barbara said, sitting down. “Your sister didn’t ground you forever like I thought she would. Especially after she got that Vision of hers.”

“No, she didn’t,” Charlotte said with a relieved sigh. “It’s like this, you see. I was certain that I knew who the Hydro Archon was…”

Barbara’s eyes went wide. “Really!? You know who she is, where she is!? Wait, don’t tell me- not Furina?! But she seems so…normal.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Charlotte said, flopping back on Barbara’s bed. They were in her room, which was of course, in the Hôtel de Ville. Slightly rebuilt after the Blasphemies had somewhat wrecked it. Not in the same attack that had killed Barbara’s father, but they did tend to meddle in French politics, when they weren’t busy assassinating people in Spain or Portugal, that was. They’d even killed two British Cabinet members at one point. 

The room itself was incredibly ornate, with a real four-poster bed, thick carpets, and gilded paneling on the walls. While the desk was 18th century, it had on it a very modern PC with Barbara’s set up for recording and editing footage. They’d made a little green screen in the corner, which was laid over some rather fine armchairs that were probably worth more than even the high end computer. 

“What made you think Furina of all people was the Hydro Archon? She’s a dishwasher and an out of work actress,” Barbara pointed out.

“Well…” Charlotte pondered not telling Barbara. Saying the information was need-to-know wasn’t lying, and her Vision would let her get away with that. On the other hand, this was a Truth so juicy, so massive, that Charlotte felt compelled to tell SOMEONE. And if she couldn’t trust Barbs, her best friend, who could she trust? 

“It’s like this, you see…”

Charlotte laid out in brief what she knew. How it rained whenever Furina cried. How she was actually from Teyvat, the same world that the Archons were from. How she had an absolutely incredible singing voice, similar to Barbados (Charlotte refused to call him Lord Barbados on general principle. Her sister might be German, but she was not). During the story, Barbara’s eyes grew wider and wider, her hands over her mouth. When she finished, Charlotte felt a lot better, while Barbara looked like she was about to have a panic attack. 

“But…but Yennifer said it wasn’t Furina’s voice? Could…could she be lying?” Barbara asked, sounding dazed. 

“She could, but I doubt it. I have a pretty good sense for when people are lying. I did even before I got my Vision, but I basically have Truthsense now,” Charlotte said with a shake of her head. “Besides, Yen’s pretty trustworthy and doesn’t like lying nearly as much as me. She wouldn’t lie to me about this.”

“But Furina says she’s not the Hydro Archon? She was just-”

“The body double, yes. But!” Charlotte held up a finger. “My theory is such! What if, by sacrificing herself for the good of her people, Furina was judged by Heaven to be worthy of Archonhood! That’s like, basically what happened to Tsukoyomi when she became Dalnim, right?!”

“Um, maybe?” Barbara said, glancing out the window. It was in the afternoon, so the First Quarter of the moon was visible, with the Moon God’s face clearly visible on the surface. At night, it would be her mother, the Raiden Shogun, who was visible during the Last Quarter. During a Full Moon, both were visible, two mirrored women in the night sky. 

“So, Furina IS the Hydro Archon, but she might not even know it yet! Which means one thing!” Charlotte said, holding up a finger. 

“That we have to protect her and keep her hidden, so Mao the Golden doesn’t fly down and kidnap her, or worse!” Barbara said, jumping up. “Think about it, he threatened Nahida Saeed, if he could, he would try to do something horrible to Furina!” 

Charlotte opened her mouth, then closed it. She had been about to say, “Break the story so that the world will know the Truth.” However…Barbara raised an excellent point. 

“Mère?” Barbara suddenly said, looking around. 

“Hmm?” Charlotte shook her head. “What was that?”

“Oh, sorry, I thought I heard my mother. I thought she said ‘Not yet, my dear,’ but I must have been hearing things,” Barbara said.

Instantly, Charlotte turned on her elemental vision, just in time to see that hydro ghost standing by Barbara’s ear. The ghost waved her fingers at Charlotte, then vanished. 

Right. Charlotte needed to break this case, and soon. 

“Well, how can we protect her then? I have a Vision, yes, but it’s not like either of us could fight off Mao the Golden,” Charlotte said, sitting cross legged on the bed and resting her head in her hands. 

Barabara sat beside her, leaning back and gazing up at the ceiling. “Hmm. Well, I suppose I could tell my mother, but…no. I don’t think that would be wise. It’s up to us.”

“Keep her hidden,” Charlotte mumbled. “How to keep someone hidden?”

“It will be hard, what with her getting the role of Fantine,” Barbara said, grimacing. “I suppose this play won’t be that large, but hundreds or even thousands of people will see her.”

A lightbulb went on in Charlotte’s mind, and she leapt out of bed. “That’s it! I know EXACTLY how to keep her hidden and safe!”

“I really don’t want to run away from home, not after just landing this role,” Barbara sighed. “But I do have some cash hidden away…”

“What?! No, why would you even think that? Barbara, what’s the best way to hide something?!” Charlotte said, spreading her arms wide.

“Um, bury it?” Barbara guessed. 

“No, we’re not burying Furina. We’re going to hide her in plain sight! And convince the world that Furina de Fontaine is nothing more than an ordinary woman!” Charlotte said with a wide grin. 

“Well, then that shouldn’t be too hard, since, you know, she works as a dishwasher,” Barbara said.

“Ah, ah, ah! That’s too much like hiding, and poorly,” Charlotte said, wagging a finger. “No! We’re going to make her front page news! And, at the same time, ensure that absolutely no one will ever think of her as an Archon.”

“We will?” Barbara said, sounding baffled. 

“Yes! For you see…” Charlotte paused for dramatic effect. That was very important. “We shall start… a web channel for her!” 

Barbara blinked, tilting her head to one side. “We…what?”

Charlotte pulled Barbara to her feet, putting an arm around her Trusty Sidekick’s shoulders and gesturing to the unseen future with the other. “Of course! If we convince everyone that Furina is simply a rising starlette, who just happens to be both very beautiful and incredibly talented, they would never even SUSPECT that she’s actually the Hydro Archon and the God of Justice!” 

“I thought Archons were angels…”

“Pfff, you show me an angel that can put her face on the moon and then create a race of bunny people that live on it. Not to mention grant people such as myself divine power. Anyway, that’s not the point. I’m going to rely on your incredible skills, Barbara, to make Furina the Next Big Thing!” 

“This doesn’t sound like hiding,” Barbara said, but then she suddenly grinned. “But she would get SO MANY VIEWS! My videos usually get no more than a couple of hundred, but I bet hers would get THOUSANDS!”

“Not big enough, Baraba. I won’t be satisfied with anything under a MILLION views!” Charlotte declared grandly. 

Barbara winced. “Um, do you think she can sing in English, then? Because, uh, those get more views than French songs?” 

“Barbara, she’s a god. She can speak English, Basque, even Chinese!” Charlotte declared. “Now, the question is, what song should we have her dance to?”

The girls' eyes wandered over the room, until both of them settled on a poster of a man in a fedora, with one white glove, posing on stage. They turned towards one another and grinned. They had a plan. 

Maybe it wouldn’t quite be the Truth…but Charlotte’s Vision very much approved of her protecting the Truth from Evil. She could make this work.

And when the time came…she would have the biggest story to break in history. 

Furina was moping about the apartment. She should have been thrilled. She’d gotten the part of Fantine. She was doing it, becoming an actress in her own right, without people thinking she was the Hydro Archon and just giving it to her because they wanted her favor. 

The problem, though, was that she was the Hydro Archon. After all these years…after centuries of pretending…she had been blindsided by being given the actual part. 

But she didn’t feel like the Archon. Focalors had said she needed training. How was one supposed to train to be the Archon?! Didn’t 500 years of playing the part on the grandest stage of all count!? 

Oh it does, dear, it does. But there’s just one or two more things that need to fall into place. Just be patient for a little longer. And rest assured, if you truly need the Mantle…it is yours to take.

“I don’t want it,” Furina mumbled into a pillow. 

A bit late for that. Though I will say, there is some truth to the adage that those who want power are the least suited to take it up. 

“Then I must be the most suited person for power in history,” Furina groaned. “Why couldn’t I just stay a dishwasher forever?”

Because this world needs saving. And can you really stand by when that’s the case?

“No,” Furina grumbled. “I guess I should stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it.”

Mmm, there’s time for a little fun. Speaking of, try to enjoy yourself. The girls do mean well, and you’ll have fun if you just relax. 

“What?” Furina blinked and looked around, but nothing happened. She shrugged, then picked up the script she’d discarded on the floor beside the couch. She really should be practicing for Fantine, the rehearsals would begin in three days time. 

It was hard to focus though, and she hadn’t gotten very far when the door banged open. 

“FURINA! I have a cunning plan!” 

The sudden commotion made Furina jump, as Charlotte and Barbara stormed in, wide grins on both their faces, lugging a great deal of cameras and other equipment. That was, well, perhaps the most Charlotte thing that Furina had seen this Charlotte do, so it didn’t take her aback so much as make her smile. 

“Please tell me it isn’t to infiltrate the French government to find abuses of power,” Furina joked. 

She immediately regretted her words, as the gleam in Charlotte’s eyes and the grin on her face told her that she probably intended to do just that. 

“Later! For now, we need to make you a star!” Charlotte declared. “So get up, and get ready!”

“I, what?” Furina said, baffled as the two girls began setting up their equipment. 

“Hmm, not the best lighting in here, but I’ll make it work,” Barbara said, throwing open the curtains and letting the late afternoon sun in. 

“We brought a costume! You’ll have to get changed, then we’ll do your makeup,” Charlotte told Furina, handing her a set of clothes. 

“I- Charlotte, what is going on?” Furina said, feeling baffled. 

“You’ve been moping about all day even though you got the part, haven’t you? So, we’re going to cheer you up, and show the world just what a wonder Furina de Fontaine is!” Charlotte declared. She made an imperious gesture towards the bedrooms. “Go now, Furina! And seize your destiny!” 

Furina looked down at the clothes, then up at the two grinning girls. She sighed, then shrugged and smiled. Who knew? It might be fun. 

A few minutes later, she came out wearing a black suit and tie, along with a black hat and a pair of white gloves. The clothes fit her remarkably well, though they were a bit loose about the bosom. Because of course they were. 

“Charlotte, what is all this about?” Furina asked. 

“No time to explain, come, come! You’ve got to learn the dance moves!” Charlotte said, plunking Furina down on the couch and turning on a tape. A few minutes later, a man on stage appeared, as upbeat music played. 

She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene

I said, "Don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one

Who will dance on the floor in the round?

Furina was enraptured by the song and dance. Whoever this man was, he was clearly an incredibly talented performer, and the crowd was going wild as he sang. She didn’t even notice Charlotte and Barbara grinning at her like idiots through the whole thing. 

“Hmm, yes, I see,” Furina said, nodding when the song finished. “Tell me, is there a whole dance for this song?”

“Yes!” Charlotte said, and pulled out a laptop computer, which she had play an instructional video on how to perform a full length dance with the music in the background. 

“Yes, yes,” Furina said, nodding. “Play it again.”

Moving the couch back, Furina made space for herself, then performed the dance. It was a bit lewd with those hip thrusts, but it also felt rather liberating. Her sexuality was something that Furina had kept locked away in a small box she’d buried in the deepest, darkest part of her soul, but she tapped into it a little now. 

Imagine if Yennifer saw me doing this, Furina thought, putting a little extra into that crotch thrust. 

After she ran through the dance twice, Furina asked, “Can you do it with just the music?”

“Um, sure,” Barbara agreed, and with a few strokes on her keyboard, she changed it to just be the music. 

This time, Furina both danced and sang, with Charlotte eagerly catching all of it on the camera. She was most of the way through the song when the door swung open. 

“Furina, Charlotte, I- Oh!” 

Furina froze, the music still playing when Yennifer paused in the doorway, dressed in her office clothes. 

Taking it all in, Yennifer’s eyebrows climbed all the way up her forehead. “A dance video?”

“Furina’s going to be famous!” Barbara said, looking up with sparkling eyes. “Come, sit, she’s incredible!” 

Yennifer nodded, then came over to sit beside Barbara. 

“Alright! From the top!” Charlotte said, and gave Furina a count down. 

This time, Furina found herself putting her heart and soul into the song. Now, she wasn’t just doing it for fun, but because she had an audience. It might just be Yennifer, but for her, Furina would do her very best. If there was one person she cared for in this world, it was Yennifer. If the only person she could save from that horrible fate was her beloved friend…then it would be worth it. 

When she finished, Furina was sweating and panting for breath, but she held the pose until Charlotte cried, “Cut!” 

There was a scrambling of cables, and within five minutes, Furina gaped as she watched herself sing and dance. The sound and video quality wasn’t professional by any means, they were using a home camera and its built in microphone and some hastily erected lighting, but it wasn’t bad either. 

“Now, we upload it on Dailymotion!” Charlotte said eagerly. “Though we have to create a channel first. What do you want it to be called, Furina?”

“A channel? Me?” Furina blinked. She didn’t really understand what this all meant. She understood the computer could connect to something like the Akasha Network that Sumeru had, and that anyone could pull up the video of her dancing. But surely no one would want to do that. 

“Here, I already pulled the page up,” Barbara said. “Let’s get a quick picture of you for the thumbnail. 

“Er, alright,” Furina agreed, and the girls had her strike various poses, eventually selecting one with her making a V for Victory sign and grinning. 

Then it was time to name the channel. Furina stared at the screen blankly for a few moments. What on Teyvat would she call her own newspaper, since this seemed to be the closest equivalent. She decided to just name it “The Court of Fontaine,” as that both used her name, and seemed a reasonable name for something featuring a video of her dancing and singing. 

“Perfect! We’ll upload this to start with, then when you go to your next rehearsal, Barbara and I will record you singing I Dreamed a Dream! That one will be a huge smash hit, and an advertisement for the show!” Charlotte declared. 

“I really don’t think that many people will want to see it,” Furina said, blushing slightly. 

“Are you certain you want to be posting a video like this? Anyone could see it,” Yennifer cautioned. 

“I don’t see how it’s different than performing on stage, and if anything a lot more people will see me there,” Furina pointed out, and Yennifer nodded in agreement. 

Charlotte and Barbara shared a look, then grinned. 

“POSTED!” Charlotte declared, and slammed the button. 

Well, at least the girls were having fun. Though Furina seriously doubted anyone important would ever see this video. 

Nahida was browsing the internet while she worked. She often did that, half her mind trolling for cute cat videos, the other writing lesson plans for her latest class, this one on Hydro Reactions now that those Visions were being passed out.

One of the search algorithms that Nahida kept running in the background pinged, and Nahida paused in her work. 

Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean, Performed by Furina de Fontaine

“Oh?” Nahida actually went over to her computer and booted it up, pulling up the video on the Dailymotion Website. She watched the video, giggling and clapping as she watched the Hydro Archon perform. Furina really was quite good!

“Nahida, dinner’s nearly ready,” Farasha said, sticking her head in. Nahida’s new little brother, Saleem, in the crook of her arm. He was only four weeks old, but even though he didn’t look like a raisin anymore he was still very cute. “Your dad- oh, what’s this?” 

“A music video! The performance is very good, don’t you think?” Nahida asked, rewinding the video. 

“Michael Jackson, huh? I was never super into him, but yeah, she’s good,” Farasha agreed as the video played. “Wow, a new channel, and her first video? That girl is going places!” 

“Yes, I think she is,” Nahida agreed. 

“You should share it! I bet she’d appreciate a kind word from the Dendro Archon,” Farasha said. 

Nahida considered that, and calculated the ramifications. Well, Furina was her friend, and it was good to show your friends you appreciated their hard work. As such, she left a comment on the video. 

Wow, super great! You’re a very talented dancer! I’m a fan! ☆:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:☆

Then, she shared the video on her own personal blog, which was called, “Nahida’s Cute Video Collection!” It was mostly videos of cute animals, people doing touching things, or as was the case with this video, showcases of talent that Nahida had enjoyed. She usually limited herself to one video a day, and since she hadn’t posted yet, felt that this wouldn’t break the pattern. 

Of course, the Dendro Archon’s personal archive of cute videos and things she found interesting was one of the most popular pages on the internet. Within minutes, Furina’s video had hundreds of views. Within a week, it had nearly 100,000. When she posted her rehearsal of “I Dreamed a Dream” with directions on how to purchase tickets for the upcoming performance of Les Misérables , a not insignificant number of people immediately began calling the Théâtre de l’Ondine to buy tickets. 

Even before opening night, the entire theater was sold out, with subsequent showings soon booked full as well. Marcel and Émile were astonished, but pleased. They had expected a decent number of ticket sales, but they’d been banking on word of mouth spreading Furina’s talents as a singer. Not a couple of online videos. 

Still, as the cast prepared and opening night drew close, the growing buzz around the budding new starlet had already started. 

But the grand reveal had yet to take place. 

For two weeks, Furina and the cast of Les Misérables  had practiced for eight hours a day. It was an incredibly abridged rehearsal cycle. For something of this scale and grandeur, it was more typical to practice for six to eight weeks. However, the very reason that an amateur production had been cobbled together like this was because the theater had a mounting pile of debts and was desperate for cash. Thus, what should have been a doom spiral of increasingly desperate measures. 

However, all the rehearsals had gone uncharacteristically well. Actors who had only ever participated in school plays or community theater style productions had been giving command performances, even before the dress rehearsal. The props and costumes all looked immaculate, with Marcel remarking that he’d paid ten times as much for results a tenth as good.

The stage hands and cast were calling it a miracle. Focalors was quietly congratulating herself at pulling one off, and without Furina even noticing. 

“I can’t believe it, it’s already here!” Julie said, pacing back and forth in her first costume. To her utter shock, she’d been given the role of Éponine. It was a leading role, and the first time Julie had ever received such in a major production like this. “I just know I’m going to flub my lines…”

“You’ll be incredible. Everyone will be talking about how wonderful Éponine was, and every casting director who’s ever snubbed you in the past will be kicking themselves,” Furina said, taking Julie’s hands. 

“Thank you,” Julie said, forcing a smile. “I just…I can’t fail this. Ling and Uncle Mao even closed the restaurant to be here tonight…”

“Alright, everyone, on stage!” Émile called, and the cast and crew hurried out, to where a sweating Marcel was standing in the front row, mopping at his forehead. He frowned up at everyone, then forced a smile onto his face, though it looked more like he was having bad gas. 

“Normally this is where I tell everyone they’d better do their best or the theater is going to go belly up, or some other such nonsense,” Marcel said, pocketing his handkerchief. “Well, I have good news for all of you: we’re sold out for the entire weekend.”

That got a rousing cheer from the cast, and Furina felt butterflies in her stomach. That at least meant the play would run for several weeks, and they’d all get a consistent paycheck for that long. Furina thought of buying something nice for Yennifer and Charlotte, as a show of appreciation for all they’d done for her. She was still doing shifts at Wanmin Restaurant, but if the play was that popular, maybe she’d stop? Except, she’d miss Ling and Chef Mao so much…

“Yes, yes, that means a nice bonus for you all. I’m no skinflint, just ask Emile. But! Don’t think that means you’re all let off easy! Tonight, we’ll be getting reviews, and I don’t care how popular the play is opening weekend. This is your chance to prove that this has legs, and that you’re going to be employed as players for more than a couple of weeks. This is a start, nothing more. Now, you have to convince these people in the sold out seats that they should go and tell all their friends to buy tickets, so we can keep our jobs.”

Everyone nodded soberly, resolve filling the hearts of everyone present. 

“Nearly all of you, if this isn’t your first role, it’s your first major production. So this is your chance to show the world that you deserve to be on stage. Who knows? Maybe some of you will go on to play on the Palais Garnier, eh?” Marcel said, and that brought chuckles.

Furina tried not to blush as several people eyed her. She wasn’t strictly speaking, an amateur as many of her fellow performers were. She had, of course, performed at the Opera Epiclese many times, even starring in a few shows there aside from the important legal cases she’d taken. That was completely different though. There, she’d already been the greatest star in Fontaine. Here, she was a complete unknown. 

I’m not the Hydro Archon in these people’s minds. I’m just Furina. Now is the chance to prove myself. 

“Now get your sorry asses backstage, and get ready! Doors open in 10 minutes! Don’t break a leg, break both your damn legs and let’s bring this house down!” Marcel declared, and got himself a rousing cheer. 

Backstage, Furina tried not to gnaw on her fingernails as she read over her lines again. Not that she needed to: Furina had memorized the entire play after reading it only once. That wasn’t a new ability: she’d always been able to instantly recall any information she digested. It had been several decades before she’d come to the realization that not all humans shared her eidetic memory. It did become a bit of a burden, being able to remember more than five centuries of existence, but recalling such a beautiful play was no trial. 

“Do you think my mother will be here?” Barbara muttered to herself as they sat together. “She said she’d come…”

“I’m sure Jeanne will be here,” Furina assured Barbara. “She’s very proud of you.”

“You wouldn’t know it from the remarks she’s made about me abandoning my education,” Barbara sighed, but she shrugged and sighed. “I suppose she’s just trying to do what she thinks is best for me, but…for once, I wish she’d just appreciate what I can do. I don’t think she ever even watches the videos I post.”

Barbara had her own Dailymotion channel, where she posted what she called “Anime Music Videos” along with her singing covers of various songs. The AMVs were the most popular, reedited versions of mostly Lighting Princess Ami to various pop tunes, but her other videos often got up to around 1,000 views, which Furina considered very impressive. 

“She’ll be here,” Furina assured Barbara, and felt a slight pang. Would Yennifer be there to watch her? That was silly, of course. Yennifer and Barbara had purchased tickets weeks ago, as had Barbara’s mother. But still…

All too soon, there were calls of “Places, everyone!” 

Furina whispered encouragement to the first set of actors who would take to the stage, and went off to the side. 

Do try to watch, dear. If this show is to encapsulate your Justice, it will need your blessing. 

How do I even do that? And for me to bless a show I’m in…that seems a tad vain.

You’re far too humble, daughter mine. Still, I shall be handling the Blessing this time, fear you not. Still, encourage your fellows. An Archon should be an inspiration to her followers, should she not?

That was true enough, and Furina tried to encourage the others as they went out on stage, smiling and giving them thumbs up. They all seemed to appreciate that, and Furina did her best to cheer everyone on from off stage. 

Soon enough, however, it was Furina’s turn. Her heart skipped a beat as she stepped out onto the stage with the rest of the factory workers. For now, she was dressed nearly indistinguishably from the others. She did her best not to look out, but…

She could sense Yennifer, there, watching her. She was in the front row, right next to Charlotte. Jeanne was in a box seat with her bodyguards, while Chef Mao and Ling were in the cheap seats, though both of them had done their best to dress up. However, they weren’t wearing suits like Yennifer or an evening gown like Jeanne, but rather traditional Chinese garb.

All that, Furina forced herself to tune out. She had to become Fantine. Had to take on the role of this beaten down woman, who was giving all for her daughter. Who would give her very life for those she loved. 

It was something she understood all too well. 

She could only pray that the audience would appreciate the performance. 

When it was time for her to sing her solo, Furina met her mark. As the music swelled, she looked out into the audience, and met Yennifer’s eyes. Whatever fear she had felt fled, and Furina sang as though Yennifer were the only one there. 

There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft

And their words inviting

As she hit the final note, Furina paused for a moment. She’d hoped for applause, but instead, she heard only choked sobs, and even some weeping. Had she done so poorly? She was about to turn and depart the stage in shame, when Yennifer leapt to her feet, tears in her eyes, and began to clap. Charlotte staggered to her feet next, still crying, and joined her sister. A moment later, the entire theater was on their feet, and applause thundered, causing Furina to pause in surprise. 

My, my, it seems they love you. Take a bow, my dear. Though now is not the time of your grandest performance yet. 

Furina wasn’t sure what Focalors meant by that. This was Fantine’s solo, perhaps the most famous song from the play. It wasn’t the climax of the show, yes, but this was the song that had made Les Misérables  famous. Indeed, Furina only had a few more scenes before Fantine died, and while she did return as a ghost at the end, for the most part, she was finished and it was up to the others to bring the play to an end. 

Even after Fantine’s tragic death in the hospital, Furina continued to cheer and encourage her fellow actors. Barbara had been perfect, if a little young, as Cossette, while Julie was simply incredible as Eponine. Furina was convinced that everyone would remember “On My Own” and not “I Dreamed a Dream” from the play. 

Then, it was her time to appear as a ghost, escorting Jean Valjean to heaven. That felt a bit surreal, actually. 

Do I escort souls to heaven?

Yes, actually. It’s a bit subconscious, but you, Barbatos, and Buer all act as Psychopomps for mortals. All the Archons can, but due to your domains, you are most likely to. 

I see. Do…do you know what happens, on the other side?

We catch glimpses. There is rebirth, yes, but also another life to live. That is not for us, however. Only for mortals. For gods, it is different. 

Furina forced herself to focus, even as she joined the cast in singing the last rendition of “Can You Hear the People Sing?” as they all took to the stage one last time. 

She raised her hands in triumph as they all sang, 

Will you join in our crusade?

Who will be strong and stand with me?

Somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?

Do you hear the people sing?

Say, do you hear the distant drums?

It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes! 

Then, the curtains should have fallen. Indeed, the audience was about to stand and applaud, but the curtain did not fall. Instead, a blue light began to glow at the back of the theater, up near the rafters. 

Everyone sucked in a breath, and Furina slowly let go of the hands of those next to her. She…she could feel that blue light. Sense the power it contained. 

There were gasps as a Hydro Mimic formed. It took the shape of a dove, bearing in its talons a small blue gem. The dove fluttered down, leaving behind it a wake of glowing Hydro Energy. Furina stepped forward, extending her hands, and the dove alighted on her fingers. 

This is my Beloved Daughter, with whom I am well pleased. 

The dove deposited the Hydro Vision in Furina’s hands, before leaning in to peck Furina on the lips lightly, as though a kiss. 

Then, the dove dissolved into elemental energy, leaving Furina standing and holding the symbol of mortal Ambiton in the palm of her hand. 

She looked up, astonished, and met the eyes of the audience. She smiled, and swept a bow. 

The place exploded with applause.

And the legend of Furina de Fontaine truly began. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 7

Entry 11, Day 27

Our first day in Deer Germany seemed like it was going to be boring, but honestly, after the excitement, I was up for that. The most annoying part was that the children were not. It’s hard to blame them, little kids do not do well with being cooped up, and the apartment was rather crowded. Czerny did have a television, but all the programs were in Not-German, and that was not going to fly. I ended up giving the kids Texas’s tablet and putting on an anime for them to watch. It was all in Higashi with subtitles. Texas was either a purist, or they didn’t have many not-italian dubs. The flashy action was good enough, and Andrey at least could read well enough to understand it when we set it to Ursus. 

Still, after a few hours of watching TV, the kids were getting rambunctious and needed to move around a bit. Gavial did her calisthenics thing, and Czerny also spent some time teaching them to play a basic tune on the piano, but, well, he wasn’t really used to dealing with five-year-olds, and they both just ended up kinda cranky.

Even then it was all fairly tolerable. Kids being cranky is something you can deal with, and they were at least trying to behave. Hibiscus went out and came back with a couple of simple board games, which did help, and the kids didn’t do much more than whine and wrestle a bit. Which, with three boys, completely made sense. My brother and I were always wrestling when we were kids, even if Michael always did kick my ass, being three years my senior. 

“No movement to speak of,” Texas reported in after yet another patrol with Exusiai around. “But something’s wrong.”

“If there is no movement, why are you saying something is wrong?” Czerny said quietly, looking up from the newspaper he’d been reading. 

“Beat of the city is off,” Exusiai said with a shake of her head. “We’ve both been to Vyseheim before. There are too many police on the street, and there’s rumors about movement on the docks. I don’t like it, and neither does Texas.”

“The city’s air has been somewhat different of late, though my memories are colored by distance. Dr. Hibiscus?” Czerny said, tossing the newspaper down. 

She hesitated, then shook her head. “It seemed like things were getting back to normal, honestly, after the horrors of…that night. But the mood in the infected quarter has been bad. It’s been eight months, but so many died…”

“It’s not that. We’ve traveled here since the terroranschlag. Something is wrong. I got ants in my pants, and when I get that feeling…I move out. I think we need to split,” Exusiai said, and Texas nodded in agreement. 

Czerny steepled his fingers, and glanced at Hibiscus. “With the Catastrophe…it would not be wise to leave the city at the moment. Your craft…”

“The pilot says there’s been a problem,” Ch’en said, shaking her head. “They claim they found a minor break in the engine that needs fixing. It should only take a day, however…”

“That does it. We’re getting the fuck out. Hibiscus, transmit Code Alpha Major,” Gravial said. “Get the kids together. We got a safe house prepped?” 

“I, yes, but…Alpha Major? You’re certain?” Hibiscus said. 

“No,” Sussurro said, and Gavial looked at her. “Transmit Code Babel Has Fallen.”

“Babel!? But thats, that’s a code for the Landship itself being under threat! Something existential to Rhodes Island itself, that requires every operator to drop whatever they’re doing and come to render aid! Do we have authorization to send it!?” Hibiscus gasped. 

“Authorization code Oscar, Charlie, Hotel, Niner, One, Niner, Lima, India, Foxtrot,” Gavial affirmed. “Babel Has Fallen.”

“But, we’re not under threat yet, that…” Hibiscus swallowed. “I mean…yes, Doctor Gavial. I…I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I hope I’m just jumping at shadows, kid,” Gavial said, and she sounded exhausted. “But I've been playing this game too long to ignore the report of two top-class scouts who got a bad gut feeling. And the game we’re playing is too high stakes to take any risks. If we overreact…well. Maybe Amiya and the Doctor can talk the Twin Empresses down. But if we’re not…then we’re gonna need everybody.”

“There’s no guarantee the code will get through. Not with that Catastrophe in the way,” Ch’en said, folding her arms and narrowing her eyes. 

“Once that code squawks, every Rhodes Island comm in range will start squawking it,” Gavial said, standing. “It’ll be retransmitted until the situation is resolved. They’ll get the message, even if it takes a few days. Alright, people, let’s move.”

“First, we plan,” Ch’en said with a shake of her head. “This is too large a group for everyone to go together. We will need to split up. Otherwise, our movements will be too noticeable. Texas, are we being monitored?”

“Unclear,” Texas said with a shrug.

“They’ve tried, but I think they saw me watching the sky. A few too many drones have done flyovers,” Exusiai said with a shake of her head. “Should I start swatting them?”

“Not until they make the first hostile move,” Ch’en said. “Maps. I need maps.”

Czerny turned out to have a number of maps of the city, though Exusiai took one look at them, and promptly began annotating the maps with changes and details. 

“How many times have you been here?” Czerny asked, studying the corrections she was making. 

“Three. But I only need to visit a city once to learn all the ins and outs. You picked that up fast as a messenger, or you die,” Exusiai replied without looking up from her work. “A good map is the difference between getting the goods there on time and intact, and your body never being found.”

“She’s the best cartographer I know. Exusiai’s maps go for exorbitant sums on the grey market,” Texas said. 

“D’aww, and here you’re making me think ya like me, Texas!” Exusiai teased, but Texas just pulled out a cigarette.

“Please, no smoking in the house. It is bad for the instruments,” Czerny said. 

Texas grimaced, but just stuck the unlit cigarette in her mouth and chewed on it a bit. 

“We should get you some nicotine patches,” I told her. 

“Need something in my mouth,” Texas said. “Helps me think.”

“Right, looking at this, I think we have a workable plan,” Ch’en said with a nod. “Though I would like a diversionary group…”

“Can I help?” 

We turned to find Svetla standing there, looking nervous and wringing her hands. 

“It’s dangerous, Frau Svetla,” Czerny said, taking off his glasses and wiping them with a cloth. “I do not know what game is being played here, but…it would not be safe.”

Svelta turned to me. “You…you can cure oripathy, can’t you?” 

Czerny’s glasses slipped out of his hands and landed with a clink on the floor. Hibiscus went pale and gasped, “Ye’ābatochē nefisati t’ebik’unyi!”

“Hoden einer Hexe, that…that cannot be,” Czerny said in a strangled voice. 

I glanced at Sussurro, who sighed and nodded to me. I turned back to Svelta. “Yes. How’d you know?”

“Andrey. He says you cured him. He is a good boy. He would not lie. And…and I have been listening. I am not stupid,” Svelta said, giving a weary smile. “My husband, Grigoriy…he believed in the cause of the Infected. I…I believe in the same. If…if you can…I do not know much about Rhodes Island, only that they are the best hope.”

She took a weary, shuddering breath. “I will help. I am the wrong height, but from a distance, and with some heels…perhaps they would not notice.”

Actually, Svelta was pretty tall, about 5’8” or so. Sure, she was still shorter than me, but if anyone here could pass for me…

“You’ve been wearing that jacket and mask this entire time, Bones,” Exusiai mused, looking me up and down. “I think maybe she could pull it off…”

“My children, though…I will risk my life, but not Arseniy and Kirill, or Andrey’s,” Svelta said firmly. 

“Hopefully it doesn’t come to that,” Ch’en said. “But we’d have to make this believable. Who’s the best fighter here?”

“I am,” Texas said instantly. Gavial cocked an eyebrow at her, but Ch’en nodded. 

“You’re likely correct. No offense, Dr. Gavial. But I’ve seen Texas fight. I might have more raw arts power, and you more raw strength…but I don’t think either of us could take Cellinia Texas in a fight.”

“You’d both win a fair stand-up fight,” Texas said, spitting out her mangled cigarette. “I don’t fight fair.”

“Plus, this mission isn’t simply a contest of who the best fighter is, but who could get James out of the city safely,” Sussurro put in. “That’s Texas and Exusiai.”

“Wait, hold on. I don’t know that I’m alright with an innocent woman playing body double for me,” I said.

“Tough,” Texas said, and Exusiai visibly cringed next to her. 

“Bones…I get the wanting to play the hero here, I do,” Exusiai said gently. “But…you don’t get to be the hero until the end of this story. Right now, the best thing you can do is survive. And frankly, the odds of that go up if our opp force thinks you’re somewhere you’re not.”

“Hrmm,” Gavial looked distinctly uncomfortable, and her tail lashed side to side. “I don’t like this.”

“I am not liking any of this either,” Czerny said, finally replacing his glasses with trembling hands. He looked at me. “The truth. You can?”

I sighed. “Yeah. But the process is messy and probably has a limited amount of uses. So I probably can’t just cure you…”

“Me? Heaven forbid! No, I merely was thinking…” Czerny shook his head, his antlers swaying from side to side. “Yes. I fear that if this is known widely…the Twin Empresses would do something…drastic, to get their hands on you. Even the merest hint of a rumor…How did you ever escape from Ursus?”

“By the skin of our teeth. An Emperor’s Blade left us a parting gift that very nearly ruined the whole thing,” I said. 

“Sein großes Geweih! You-! Never mind. Yes. Well. Tell me, what do you need me to do? I am not some great fighter, but I have no small skill at arts,” Czerny said, forming his hands into fists. 

“We split,” Gavial said, pointing to the map. “We very obviously take Svelta, disguised as Bones here, to a safe house. Well, not too obviously. We make it look like we’re trying to be sneaky, take every precaution. But we assume we’re gonna be watched.”

“And at the same time, Exusiai and I take Bones out of the city, hidden somehow. Make it look like we’re running for help. We’re messengers, when we saw you squawk your SOS, they wouldn’t be surprised to see us go,” Texas said.

“Yeah, and we never had any real trouble in Leithanien. So they probably aren’t too aware of just how kick ass Texas is,” Exusiai said with a nod. 

“Or you,” Texas said. “Don’t sell yourself short, Exusiai. You’re the best damn Sankta marksman I’ve ever met.”

“You don’t know my big sis then,” Exusiai chuckled. 

“Course not, she’s only out in CN,” I muttered, which earned me a kick from Sussurro. “Sorry, sorry. Uh, one further condition?”

“What is it?” Ch’en demanded. 

I pointed at Sussurro. “She comes with me. Someone needs to be the brains of the outfit.”

Sussurro nodded. “I might not be the best field medic we have, but Dr. Gavial stands out a bit too much for a clandestine operation.”

“Stealth never was my strong point,” Gavial agreed. She rubbed her chin, then glanced at Texas. “Thoughts?”

“Good idea. Four is a small enough group to move quickly,” Texas said.

Ch’en looked around the table. “We are in agreement then?”

“Yes. We won’t share where we’re going, or how. Just know that it’ll be as secure as we can make it,” Texas said. 

After that, things happened fast. Several infected came to the house, and swapped clothes with Svelta and the three boys, their heights more or less a match. They didn’t know what was happening, only that Rhodes Island needed help. Or perhaps more specifically, that Hibiscus did. They all nodded to her respectfully, looking grave. 

Czerny stood, and made a short speech. “My friends, your participation in this task is to give hope to us all. Not just in this city, but across Terra. We go now to conduct the grandest orchestra! May our music bring harmony to this world. Geist und Gesang.”

“Geist und Gesang,” the brave infected echoed. Then, along with Hibiscus, Czerny and five disguised infected were left in the van for the Rhodes Island clinic. They were distraction number one. 

Number two consisted of Ch’en, Gavial, Svelta disguised as me, and the three kids. They all left via the back door and some alleyways to an unmarked van, which would take them to a safehouse hidden further in the infected quarter. 

Last was me, Sussurro, Texas, and Exusiai. We departed via the sewers. 

It was as disgusting as it sounds, though we didn’t have to wade through literal shit for very long. We came instead to a maintenance access hatch, and Exusiai led us into the very belly of the nomadic city. 

To my mild surprise, Texas and Exusiai both turned out to be expert hackers, using a series of faked ID cards and spoofed communication devices to get us into the Support Layer. 

“There’s three layers to cities,” Sussurro explained to me quietly as Texas worked on a stubborn door while Exusiai provided overwatch. We all still reeked of sewage, but there wasn’t anything to be done about it at the moment. “The top layer is where everyone lives. But plates are very complicated. The support layer is the middle tier. It’s where the vital systems like sewage treatment and water reclamation, along with important transportation hubs are located. Below that is the Power Deck, where the engines and treads are housed and maintained, but security on that layer is tight. We won’t be going that deep.”

Right before Texas popped the door, her comm, along with Exusiai’s and Sussurro, began to chirrup and buzz, flashing a red light. Texas and Exusiai quickly silenced theirs, but Sussurro held hers up so I could see, and let it play. 

Lament, Lament, Lament. Babel Has Fallen. Lament, Lament, Lament. Babel has Fallen. All Operators and personnel, return to the Island, for Babel Has Fallen. Lament, Lament, Lament. Babel has Fallen. All Operators and personnel, return to the Island, for Babel Has Fallen. 

“There’s a different code if the landship is actually destroyed,” Sussurro said quietly, shutting off the warning, though the device continued to silently repeat the warning with scrolling text.. “This is just an existential threat to Rhodes Island as an organization. It’s meant to be used if the Landship is under imminent hostile threat, or Rhodes Island as a whole comes under attack. To use it in this situation…it’s extreme, but I can’t think of a better option.”

“I trust you. I’m sure Kal’tsit and the Doctor do as well,” I said, quietly squeezing her hand. 

She nodded, but looked sick. “I hope so. Because if I’m wrong…” She swallowed. “It could be very bad.”

About ten minutes later, while we were walking along a subterranean maintenance shaft that adjoined the sewers, the comms devices buzzed again. 

EMERGENCY. ALL CITIZENS TO RETURN TO THEIR HOMES. A CURFEW IS NOW IN EFFECT. MARTIAL LAW HAS BEEN DECLARED. EMERGENCY. ALL CITIZENS TO RETURN TO THEIR HOMES. 

Texas turned to Sussurro and nodded. “You made the right call.”

“Per me aureola et arma” Exusiai muttered, scrolling through her device. “It’s the Horn Worshipers. They’re attacking the city, en masse.”

“Oh fuck,” I said, sweat breaking out. “Um, has one of the Empresses fallen asleep yet?”

Everyone paused, all eyes on me. 

“No, I do not believe so,” Sussurro said slowly. She licked her lips. “James…if you have some weird alien knowledge…now might be the time.”

“Do…do you all know who Arturia is?” I asked, feeling rather sick. I got a nod of the head from Sussurro and Texas, but Exusiai began swearing volubly. 

“The crazy Gallialo? And that’s saying something, because I’ve had run-ins with her brother. Yes, she's the musician that can play your emotions nearly as well as she can fiddle,” Exusiai said grimly. “She’s on the side of the Horn Worshipers?” 

“Not…exactly. But her and the Candle Knight were involved in battle in Leithanien, where the Echos, I guess the Horn Worshipers? Tried to revive the Witch King. Again. And they nearly succeeded. But…something’s wrong. That was supposed to happen in the capital, not the same city as Lingering Echos…” I shook my head. “Something’s wrong. And I think it’s probably me.”

“How do you know this?” Texas asked. 

I sighed and pulled out my phone, then opened up Arknights. I got the error message that it couldn’t connect, but hopefully my point was made. “I’m not from Terra, as I guess you’ve mostly figured out by now.” Exusiai’s eyes went wide, but she stayed quiet. “The planet I’m from, Earth, there’s a game, called Arknights. It tells the story of Rhodes Island, and the Operators attached to it. That’s were the, ah, ‘weird alien knowledge’ comes from. You’re all, well. All three of you are characters in the game. That’s…sort of how I know stuff about you.”

“I see,” Texas said, nodding as if this all made complete sense. Exusiai was looking at me with sheer horror, while Sussurro only looked mildly disturbed, her tail swishing back and forth in agitation. 

“The problem is…I sort of…didn’t read much of the lore,” I admitted. “I mostly just like playing the game. You’re, uh, you’re all pretty kickass in the game. Sorry, I know this doesn’t make any sense…”

“It’s an isekai,” Texas said with a nod. “Continue.”

Well, at least someone was taking this remarkably well. “Right, so, I have a vague idea of certain events that take place. Some of which, apparently, haven’t happened here yet. Unfortunately, all I really know is what I can suss out from having played the levels and watched a couple of videos, and, er, read a few memes. I know that after the events of Lingering Echos, what you call the terroranschlag-” 

“The Rhodes Island operational files refer to that event as ‘Operation Lingering Echos,’” Sussurro interrupted. “I reviewed them as we were coming here. What…what was the other one, the future event?”

“I’m going to absolutely butcher the pronunciation, but ‘Zwillingstürme im Herbst,’” I said. 

“Twin Towers in Autumn,” Exusiai muttered. She was actively shivering now. “Texas, you don’t think that means…”

Texas cocked her head to one side. “It means nothing to me.”

“The Witch King,” Exusiai whispered. “Bones mentioned the Witch King. The Twin Towers in Autumn…that could be the Horn of Origin. The Spire of Genesis. His…his domain, that was thrown down in the September Uprising in 1077. Texas…if the Witch King is coming back…Babel has Fallen isn’t the right call. The right call is…what’s worse than Babel Has Fallen? Like, the entire world is going to end? Because that’s what this is.”

“Hmm,” Texas’ tail lashed, and her eyes narrowed. “History isn’t my best subject. I’ll have to trust your judgement.”

“It…it should be impossible for the Witch King to return,” Sussurro said slowly. “But…if they’ve heard of a great healer…someone who can cure people of oripathy, and mend the most severe wounds, even re-knitting organs…the Horn Worshipers might just think…”

“They might just think I could revive the Witch King,” I said, cold washing over my body like a wave. “Oh. Fuck.”

“We have to get out. Change of plans, Texas. We have to get the hell out of here. Now,” Exusiai said firmly. “I can’t think of many things worse than the Witch King returning.”

“Uh…I hate to be the bearer of even worse news…but he did,” I said, and Exusiai groaned and clutched at her head, while even Texas was starting to look alarmed. “Only Viviana, the Lich King, the Twin Empresses, Arturia, and, er, the Pope working together managed to banish him again. Or at least, I think that’s what happened. Either way, he’s an actual boss you fight in the game, and it looked like he was back for realsies.” 

“How?” Texas demanded. “How was the Witch King revived?”

“The Song of Terra, I think? Arturia helped, somehow? I think she wanted to learn arts from the Witch King, but she switched sides?”

“That sounds like her,” Exusiai muttered. She had taken out her pistols and was spinning them back and forth through her fingers. It was really impressive, but also a bit concerning as those things were loaded. “We’ve never crossed paths, but I do know her brother and he’s a pain in my ass.”

“Either way…James can absolutely not fall into the hands of the Horn Worshipers,” Sussurro said. “Nor can the Witch King be revived.”

Texas took out a cigarette and started smoking, her eyes narrowed. She glanced at me, then at the increasingly frantic Exusiai, then at Sussurro. “We go to ground. As planned.”

“What!? Texas, we have to get out of here!” Exusiai protested. 

Texas continued to smoke, grimacing. “Rhodes Island is coming. I don’t think this is the work of the Twin Empresses. They’ll probably respond as well. For now, we keep Bones out of sight. We don’t know if what he can do could revive the Witch King. But if we move too much, it’s likely we’d have to fight the Horn Worshipers. Our goal is to avoid fighting. So, we go to ground.”

“The Twin Empresses have a reputation for ruthlessness. They’d probably try to keep James if they knew about him,” Sussurro said, eyeing me with concern. 

“A problem solved by staying out of sight. We wait for Rhodes Island,” Texas said firmly. She turned to Exusiai. “Lead the way.”

Visibly shaking herself, Exusiai saluted. “You got it, Texas. Come on, this way! We’re heading to a good spot to hide, so hopefully no one even looks at us and we keep safe.”

We wound through narrow maintenance tunnels and cramped pipes, ending up covered in various kinds of filth. At the end of it, we came to a basement of an old building, which surprisingly was stocked with a number of supplies. 

“We’re under a department store. I set up this hidey hole a while back. No one but me and Texas know it’s here,” Exusiai said, holding up a glowstick, which revealed a stack of ammo boxes. “Looks like no one’s been here since my last visit.”

“I can never find it,” Texas said with a shake of her head. “You’re the better navigator.”

“Hehe! Least I’m good for something! Right, strip out of those clothes, and use these decon wipes, then stuff ‘em in this bag. There was a lot of originium back there, plus, you know, the shit and stuff.”

I blushed at the thought of having to strip in front of three women, but Texas had already started pulling off her clothes, and Exusiai wasn’t shy either. I hastily turned my back and did the same, using the wipes to clean off whatever bits of skin had been exposed. I tried not to look, but, well, it was hard, especially since the room wasn’t even 10 feet by 10 feet, and we were practically standing on one another.

I had to remind myself that Texas was gay, and that Exusiai was my bodyguard now. They HAD been in my top 10 waifus, though I was sort of having to reevaluate that whole list, considering that, you know, I’d met them now. It felt a lot weirder to perv on a woman I actually knew versus an imaginary character. 

We changed into clean clothes, and Exusiai and Texas set about cleaning the rest of their gear, the four of us sitting on the ammo crates, which turned out to contain not only bullets but rations, medical supplies, and various other survival gear. 

Sussurro set about grooming her tail and ears, taking out her radio and turning it on. For a while, it just broadcast the Fall of Babel lament.

“Fucking odd thing to have as your code phrase,” I muttered. I glanced around at the others. “You…know what Babel was?”

Sussurro looked up at me, a frown on her lips. “James…that’s classified.”

“It was the precursor to Rhodes Island,” Exusiai said without looking up from her guns. “History was my favorite subject in school. I always wanted to travel to all those places we learned about. Now, I have, mostly. Babel being the origin of Rhodes Island isn’t common knowledge, but it is somewhat known. They were a group founded by the last Sarkez King, Theresis.”

Ooooh boy. I suppose it wasn’t common knowledge that Amiya had become the Sarkaz King. Or at least, I think she had. The memes indicate it. But maybe those aren’t the most reliable. 

“I know the code. Never questioned what it meant,” Texas said with a shrug. “Now, I wonder.”

“Is it really going to bring everyone running? I mean like…everyone?” I said. “Just how many operators are there affiliated with Rhodes Island?”

“The population on the landship at any given time is in the ballpark of ten thousand people, but that includes patients and non-combatants,” Sussurro said. 

I sucked in a breath. Ten thousand?! That’s the size of a small city. I mean, I knew that Rhodes Island was big, but that’s freaking huge! 

“That doesn’t count for people like Exusiai and Texas, who are provisionally contracted but stay in the field, or even our full time employees like Hibiscus that operate remote clinics. If those still exist after this,” Sussurro said with a heavy sigh. “We’re probably made them all evacuate. This is going to be such a mess…”

“Wise. Seems news of Bones’ ability has spread far and wide,” Texas said, one of her swords now in her lap as she carefully cleaned it with an oiled rag. 

“Yeah…I mean, I know I’m a blabber mouth, but it can’t be just me spouting off that’s caused this, right?” I said, scratching my head. 

“The famiglia,” Sussurro said with disgust. “It had to be that bum we turned loose. He must have run straight to them, and sold information for a bottle of mead. Then any survivors would have sold whatever information they could for a handful of credits. It’ll be all over the black market by now.”

“Should have tied off any loose ends,” Texas commented. 

“He was just an innocent man, Texas,” I protested. “You can’t just kill people who haven’t done anything wrong yet.”

She glanced at me. “I can.”

“I’ve killed a lot of people,” Exusiai said quietly, holding one of her reassembled guns in her palms. “Some of them deserved it. Others, probably not. But…I couldn’t kill someone in cold blood. Not if they weren’t an active threat. That’s the kind of thing…the kind of thing you lose your halo over.”

“I thought that was just if you pointed your gun at another Sankta,” I asked. 

Exusiai gave me a slight shake of her head. “There’s Thirteen Commandments. ‘Thou shalt not threaten the life of another Sankta’ is commandment two. But number ten is ‘Thou shalt not use thy gun to shed the blood of the innocent.’ There’s…wiggle room, on that one. Obviously, I can use my guns to kill people. But they have to threaten me, the life of another, or my property. You can get…liberal…with the interpretation of some of that. Especially the property part. But you get murder happy, and the Law WILL strip you of your gun.”

“That’s why you have me,” Texas said, holding up her sword in front of her and gazing at her reflection in the blade. “I will do what must be done.”

“Texas I…” I swallowed. I wanted to say, ‘I don’t want you to kill people for me.’ But, that was sort of the whole point of having her as a bodyguard. “I don’t want you to bear any burden that’s too heavy.”

“There is a saying in the Texas famiglia,” Texas said, still gazing at her sword. “Honor is heavier than a mountain. But death is lighter than a breeze.” 

“A rich joke,” Sussurro said, sounding bitter. “The famiglia have no honor.”

Texas lowered her sword, and for a moment, I thought she was going to explode into violence. Instead, she bowed her head to Sussurro. “Truth. Honor and blood. But it’s all lies. That is why I live for something else now. Something greater.”

She sheathed her sword. “The Texas famiglia dies with me. That will be the end of it.”

“What the fuck, Texas!?” Exusiai exploded, and we all glanced at her. She was standing, tears in her eyes, her fists clenched. “What would Sora say to that?!”

Texas blinked. “I-”

“You just poured your heart out to her! She loves you, Texas! I’ve known that for a long time, even if, even if I didn’t really want to think about it too hard! I love you too! Ti voglio bene! No, that’s not strong enough! Tu sei mia sorella! So don’t you see this as some stupid death quest! You are going to live, Texas, and then you and Sora can adopt a cute kid and live happily ever after!”

Exusiai stood there, nostrils flaring, halo glowing so brightly it was nearly blinding.

Slowly, Texas nodded. “I would take Sora’s name. That is what I meant.”

Exusiai blinked a few times, then blushed deeply. “La mia pistola e la mia aureola! Shit, I just made an ass of myself, didn’t I?”

“No,” Texas said. “You care. Don’t apologize for that.” She seemed to struggle with something, her jaw working, then she stood, and gingerly put her arms around Exusiai, who immediately latched onto her like a limpet. “I…am not good with words. Or feelings. But…you are my sister, also, Lemuel.”

“Thanks, Cellinia,” Exuisiai said, her voice somewhat muffled from her face being buried in Texas’ chest. “I’m scared.”

“Mmm,” Texas said, and gingerly rubbed Exusiai’s back. 

Exusiai looked up, a frown on her face. “This is the part where you say you’re scared as well.”

“I’m scared of many things. But not this. This I welcome. It is…what I was born for,” Texas said. 

“You’re a fucking weirdo, Texas.”

“Yes.”

I leaned close to Sussurro. “Touch of the ‘tism, you think?”

“Oh, thank goodness. Here, I thought it was just me,” Sussurro sighed. 

“Texas is not a tism!” Exusiai said, glaring at us. “Uh, whatever that is.”

“I was diagnosed at age five,” Texas said, completely ruining Exusiai’s efforts to defend her. “Mild case. Never bothered me.”

“Wait, I thought you didn’t have oripathy!?” Exusiai gasped. “But, age five!? Hold, on what-”

“Autism,” Texas said monosyllabically. 

“Huh?! But that’s for like, um, you know, invalids, and stuff,” Exusiai said, back to being a derp. 

“Autism spectrum disorder, or ASD, manifests in many variations,” I said, suddenly on firm ground I knew rather well. I steepled my fingers. “I would very much like to study how it differs amongst the Terran population vs. the Earth one. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for ten years and a decently sized cohort! Can you even imagine what we could learn about the brain?! Oh, oh, with multiple races, I bet neurological disorders manifest in different ways!”

Sussurro immediately brightened, nodding enthusiastically. “It does! And different races are more inclined to certain types of disorders. Like, for example, you almost never see a Sankta with autism, which we theorize is because of the Empathy they get from the law, though there are rare cases! On the other hand, more asocial races, like Anura, manifest it more frequently! Sankta are more likely to exhibit signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder, especially if they move from Laterano to where there are fewer Sankta!” 

“Huh. Guess Bones really is a doc,” Exusiai mused. Texas just went back to caring for her equipment, which after a moment, Exusiai did as well, taking out some music to listen to as Sussurro and I had a long and very interesting conversation about various neurological disorders and how they manifested in different races. Neurology wasn’t Sussurro’s speciality, but as a general practitioner she had a fairly decent grasp of things. 

I took more detailed notes in another document, but I figure I shouldn’t clutter up my journal with that sort of stuff. 

However, then the radio began to do more than just loop the Fall of Babel broadcast. 

“Watcher 1, here. We’ve been compromised!” Hibiscus’s frantic voice said, and we all stopped what we were doing to listen. “It’s the Echos! They’re attacking the safe house! Czerny is holding the line, but-” There was a bang and muffled shouting. “I’ve got to go!”

A few minutes later, Czerny reported, “Vee haff…cough, we have…repelled the attackers. We are evacuating-static wounded static. Geist und Gesang!”

I felt sick listening, unable to do anything. Sussurro had locked gazes with me, and her tail was drooping, ears lying flat on her head. She was still dyed brown, and it gave her a dejected air. 

Twenty minutes later, another report. “Ch’en here. We’ve been located. Engaging the enemy, then falling back to point delta.”

Texas had out her own tablet, and more reports were coming in from the city. There was fighting all over, not just in the infected quarter, but throughout the city. It seemed that the police and guards were fighting back against the Echos, but this was a wide scale uprising. 

Then, we got another message. Not from our own operators, but a desperate call.

“We've got so many wounded, we don’t have enough trained medics! There’s hot spots throughout the city, all our clinics and hospitals are overwhelmed! Calling all those with medical knowledge, we need help! There’s hundreds of wounded!”

I found myself standing up, Sussurro as well. Both of us exchanged looks: We were not just medics, but trained doctors. Granted, Sussurro was the only full doctor, but I had more than enough medical knowledge that in an emergency situation, they’d have me doing basic surgery and triage for wounded. I knew perfectly well how to suture a wound, or even perform simple procedures that would nevertheless be life saving. 

“Bones,” Texas said, her tone a warning. “We stay put.”

“I…I know he should, but…but I can help! You don’t need me,” Sussurro said, wringing her hands. 

“Give me those bear ears. I can go in disguise too. People are dying, Texas! And don’t you try to stop me either, Exusiai!” I said. 

Sussurro glanced at me, bit her lip, then nodded. “If we keep quiet…we could save a lot of lives. Especially with your incredible arts healing, though you’ll need to keep it quiet.”

“This is foolish. You’re not going,” Texas said, standing up and glaring at us.

“Texas…”

We all turned to Exusiai, who was fidgeting. “Texas…what’s the price of saving the world?”

“Whatever it takes,” Texas said. “The information Bones has is too valuable.”

“Yeah, I know, but…” Exusiai swallowed, and met my eyes. “You really want to help those people, don’t you?”

“I’m a doctor. That’s my job. You go where people need help.” I turned to Texas. “We don’t have to go to the battlefield. Just anywhere there’s wounded. This is a wide scale terrorist attack. How can we sit by while innocents suffer?”

Texas looked irritated, but she looked to Exusiai, who shrugged. “If we’re gonna die for someone…wouldn’t it be better to do it for someone worth dying for?”

“I…” Texas frowned, training off. She shook her head, and contemplated silently. At last, she said, “Sora would go help. And I wouldn’t be able to stop her.”

“Yes! Let’s go!” Exusiai said eagerly, jumping up. 

“Wait,” Texas said, holding up a hand. “Disguise first. We do this smart. No marks that identify you as from Rhodes Island. How’s your Siracusian, Bones?”

“Mama mia! I’ma Siracusian, oh yes! I-a talka witha my hands!” I said, gesturing wildy. 

Sussurro actually snorted and had to disguise a laugh, while Exusiai giggled. “Bones…that’s awful.”

“Maybe just don’t talk,” Texas told me, and I reluctantly nodded. 

She sighed, and pointed to a wall different than the door we’d come in. “That way. I’ll carve us an exit. It will take us into the rest of the basement.”

I don’t know if normal people can carve through drywall like it’s butter, but Texas can. She led the  way out into the rest of the basement, which was full of dust and boxes, along with some ancient equipment. She nodded, then led us to some stairs, where there was a locked door. This Exusiai opened by using what she called a “skeleton key.” That turned out to be a small explosive charge. 

“Can’t use that hidey hole again. Too bad,” she mused. I winced, so she patted me on the back. “Don’t sweat it, James. I wasn’t too sure about you at first. But, you seem like a decent guy. I always want to go help people too, even if it would cause me problems. Boss is always yelling at me about it. Says I waste time and stuff. Then he covers the medical expenses of the people I rescue. You can never tell with Boss.”

“He is Signore degli uccelli,” Texas said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Like Zaaro?” I guessed. “He, uh, already had that showdown with them and, um…Lappland, right?”

Texas jerked a nod, baring a fang at the mention of Lappland. Yikes. She hadn’t even done that when I mentioned being a complete idiot and leaving our perfectly safe hole to go treat random wounded. 

“Wait,” Sussurro said, and pulled out an arts wand. She pressed it into my hands. “Do you know how to use it?”

“No, not really,” I admitted. 

“Well, at least use it as a prop. Most people don’t understand arts healing. Most doctors can’t even use one. I couldn’t until I became an infected. So just act like you’re using the wand. It should fool most people,” Sussurro told me. “Don’t worry, I have a backup.”

With that, Sussurro nodded to Texas, who held up a hand. “Wait here. I’ll check it out.”

Texas vanished up the stairs, and the minutes crawled by as we sweated and held our breath. Then, Texas reappeared, nodding to us. “It’s safe, for now. Follow.”

We emerged out into hell. The air was thick with dust and smoke, and I could see fires burning in the distance. I half expected to hear gunfire, but of course, there was none of that, though there were blaring sirens and the occasional distant explosion.

Sussurro led the way, and within minutes, we arrived at a hotel that had been converted into a makeshift hospital. Sussurro and I were both wearing generic lab coats, and I had on my fake pair of Ursus ears. Someone ran up to us and started babbling in German. I didn’t understand a lick of it, but Sussurro said, “Wir sprechen kein Leithanisch. Wir sind Ärzte. Wir können helfen.”

Texas helpfully added, “Siracusian.”

“Ach! Um, Grazie per… aiuto. Heir, er ecco! Das…questa parte!”

We followed our goat horned guide to where they were triaging. There were several people providing first aid, but the best of them looked to be EMTs and best, and just those with basic first aid training in the majority. Sussurro and I had brought whatever medical supplies had been in the hideout, along with basic tools. I swallowed at seeing all the blood, but rolled up my sleeves, put on my gloves, and got to the bloody work. 

There had clearly been several explosions and many fires. Lots of shrapnel wounds, burns, and pressure trauma. A lot of it I treated with needle and thread, bandages, and a bit of ugly knife work. 

However…I also used that arts wand. I actually figured out how to use it rather quickly. You just channeled the arts into it, and it made the healing a lot easier. However, it was also extremely tiring. Like, a few minutes of arts use, and I felt like I had after did a mile swim. I had to save it for the most severe cases, and it was heart wrenching to see just how many of them there were. 

Even worse…I lost my first patient. It was an older woman, one of her horns broken off from severe trauma, the other curled goat horn. She had second and third degree burns, and her left was basically a ruined wreck with bones poking through. Her left leg was also badly burned, and I could see bone poking through, her foot a mangled mess. 

I swore when they brought her in, and nearly called for Sussurro, who was a much more experienced surgeon and doctor in general, but she was already dealing with an older man who had a serious gut wound, a large splinter that was requiring a lot of surgery and work with her arts wand. 

Swallowing despite my dry mouth, I forced myself to triage and work as fast as I could to save the patient. It was going to require a double amputation; the foot at the ankle at least, and the arm at the elbow. It was alright. I had trained for this. I could do it. I quickly checked the head trauma, but the skull wasn’t fractured, and it had already been bandaged. 

So I set to work with the bonesaw. I’d learned how to do an amputation, and even practiced on a  cadaver once or twice. But this was the first time doing it on a living person. We didn’t have any anesthesia, so it was just a couple of shots of morphine. The patient groaned, which was a good sign, and I applied a tourniquet. We started her on an IV of blood, I had a couple of assistants who if they hadn’t been good at getting blood into patients, were now, and I started. 

It was chillingly easy. I sawed away, cutting off the foot first, then the arm, clamping and using arts to heal it up. I might, could, have reconstructed the whole limb, but doing so would have overloaded my admittedly low stamina when it came to that, and there were literally dozens of patients waiting for treatment, and I couldn’t spare the energy. 

I actually successfully performed both operations and got her stabilized. I was just tending to the burns, when she started convulsing. I thought at first it was blood loss, but then I noticed something that made my heart drop.

She was bleeding and leaking cranial fluid from her broken off horn. There had evidently been more trauma there than I had first noticed. I swore and tried to think of what to do. There was obvious swelling, and I would need to lower the pressure in the skull, before-

With one final convusion, she coughed up blood, then flooped back, still. I quickly checked vitals, then started chest compressions as I tried to think of what to do. 

“Dr. McCoy! James!” 

I blinked, staring up stupidly at Sussurro, who was standing there with a face mask on. She stripped off her gloves, reaching out to gently take my hands off the patient. “She’s gone, James. She’s gone.”

“No, she can’t be, I… I performed the amputations, she…she was going to make it…” I stammered. 

“James. Go take a breather,” Sussurro told me firmly. 

“But, Lucia, I-”

“A breather. Just five minutes. You need a break. You’ve been at this for four hours.”

I didn’t point out that she’d been doing this as long as I had. I looked down at the dead woman, her glassy eyes staring back sightlessly. Then I nodded, and staggered outside. I made it a few steps into the alleyway when I leaned against the wall and spewed up everything. Sobs and dry heaves wracked my body, and I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Hey. It’s OK. You’re going to be alright.”

I blinked through the pain, and a smiling angel looked back at me. 

“But…but I let her die,” I gasped, and Exusiai had to grab me to keep me from keeling over right there. 

Gingerly, she helped me move away from my sick, then set me down on the ground. “You’re a pretty good person, aren’t ya, James?”

I shrugged, unable to say anything as Exusiai slumped down beside me. She dug out a canteen and handed it to me, and I took a swig, swished it around in my mouth, then spat to the side before sipping at it. 

“I’m glad, you know? The guy who can, well. A special package right you coulda been a real asshole, you know?” she commented. 

“I guess,” I mumbled, still feeling numb. I started to shiver, despite the warm evening. Shit, was I going into shock?

“Makes me feel better about this job. I’m glad I get to help save the world with a doc like you,” Exusiai commented, clearly trying to cheer me up.

“Haven’t saved it yet. I…I didn’t even know her name, Exusiai.”

“Call me Lemuel.”

“I…sure,” I said, blinking my eyes back into focus. “But, if I’d know more about her race’s biology, if I’d just noticed that head trauma earlier…maybe I could have saved her.”

“Maybe. I’m not a doctor, I don’t really know. But I’ve had a lot of packages, James. And I’ve lost some of them. Sometimes…sometimes if I’d been a little faster, or more vigilant…maybe they would have made it. But you can’t keep second guessing yourself. You have to keep moving forward. Don’t worry about the mistakes you’ve made. Not until later, when you're back home safe. Until then, you keep caring for the packages you’ve got,” Exusiai told me. 

There was pain in her eyes. Deep wounds that were covered up by a chipper attitude and a bright smile. 

“Those packages…they were people, weren’t they?” I asked quietly. 

She nodded, the smile turning maudlin. “Yeah. But like I said. You think about the ones you did save. Not the ones you didn’t. Speaking off…keep your head down.”

“Huh?” I blinked as Exusiai stood, then jumped up on top of a stack of boxes. She raised her guns, and I stupidly half stood to see what she was pointing them at. A dozen figures in dark robes, with masks bearing twisted symbols I half recognized. Echos. The followers of the Witch King.”

“Sorry, boys, clinic’s closed!” Exusiai said in all too chipper tones. “I suggest you go elsewhere.”

“We seek the Great Healer! You will give us to him, Sankta! Or we will-”

There was a loud bark, and bullets flew over the head of the cultists. 

“Clinics closed. Buzz-”

One of them raised an instrument and blew a note, and the boxes Exusiai had been standing on exploded. But she was already in the air, and her guns trained on the cultist. They roared, and death spat out. 

The cultists tried to fight back, sending back arts attacks, but Exusiai dodged and danced away, raining death down on them. The battle didn’t last long, only a few seconds for Exusiai to deal out a great deal of death. Then the cultists scattered, fleeing, and Exusiai ran them down, still firing. 

“Ad foveam, quam peperisti, filii veneficae Horned!” Exusiai screamed after them as they fled.

Then she switched languages, taking another in the back and shouting, “Ich habe eine besondere Einladung vom Tod! Du kommst zurück, wenn du MEINE Musik hören willst!”

Finally, she spoke in something II understood, shouting, “This clinic is under MY protection, Horned ones! You tell your boss the Angel of Death guards this place!”

The last couple of cultists still alive ran off. I hurried over to one who was down and struggling, ripping off their mask. It turned out to be a young woman with sheep's horns, who was coughing up blood. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” I growled, and quickling diagnosed the problem. She’d been shot in the right lung. I hastily used forceps to dig the bullet out, healed the bare minimum with arts, then bandaged her up.

“Warum heilst du mich? Bin ich…ich nicht dein Feind?” she coughed. 

“Shut up,” I growled. “I haven’t healed you completely. Terrorist asshole.”

She blinked at me. “You…Columbian?”

“Rim Billington, mother fucker,” I snarled, trying to give myself an Aussie accent and probably failing miserably. 

My patient groaned and lay back. Exusiai came over, inspected her, then zip tied her arms and legs and gagged her. “You’ll try to help anyone, won’t you?”

“Once they stop fighting, they’re not our enemies anymore. Just another patient,” I sighed. 

“Soft. You’ll need watching.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I looked up and found Texas hovering over me, two bloodied swords in her hands. 

“You got the rest of them, Texas?” Exusiai said grimly. 

“I let one get away. They’ll know not to come here,” Texas said, standing. “Messages don’t get delivered if you kill all the messengers.”

I stood, looking down at my bloodied hands. Then I made fists, and turned back to the clinic. 

“There’s more lives to save. Toss her somewhere safe,” I said wearily, then went back inside. 

That woman wasn’t the last patient I lost that night. I worked until dawn, when I was ready to drop. Texas eventually made Sussurro and I get some rack time. We were both so exhausted we passed out right away. Shit, I’m writing this two days later, on my new phone. 

But I guess the next Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day belongs in the next entry.

I just know that Greta Baumann is someone who will live in my memory forever. I found out later by askingaround that she'd been a grocery store clerk. Lived alone, but sang in a choir. I never got to hear her sing. Wish I had. 

I’m sorry, Greta. I couldn’t save you. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up over it. 

But I will anyway. 

May I Enjoy My Life Entry 6

Entry 10: Day 26

I’d like to say I didn’t sleep well, and that I was tormented by the ghosts of those I left behind. That would be a lie. Once I hit the bed, I slept like a log, and I don’t recall a damn thing. Thank God for small mercies, I guess. 

I was awoken by a knock at my door. Groggily, I sat up, blinking. The unfamiliar environment left me with a sense of vertigo, but I managed to pull on a robe that had been left by the bed and stumble over to the door, opening it a crack. “Yeah?”

Ch’en looked back at me, and proffered a bundle. “Get dressed. We depart in one hour.”

I opened the door wide enough to accept the clothing, then shut the door. I got dressed in a hurry, in unremarkable black pants and a grey shirt. There was also a hoodie, though it was a bit warm for it. I went ahead and put it on, pulling the hood up and putting on the face mask and sunglasses as well. It wasn’t the most original disguise, but it would make me kinda hard to make out, even up close. 

That done, I opened the door back up, and found Texas leaning on the wall and smoking in the hallway, Exusiai standing by the door with her gun in her hands. Well, one of them anyway. She was holding a rifle, but she had two submachine guns and two pistols strapped to her, along with grenades, ammo, and other assorted tactical gear. I didn’t get the sense that any of it was superfluous either. Both were wearing combat vests, heavy pants, and thick black boots. Texas had two extremely large swords as well as a pair of combat knives in her boots and more grenades, with a helmet dangling from her belt as well. 

“Good morning!” Exusiai said brightly. 

“Uh, mornin’,” I said with a nod. “You two, uh, stay here all night?”

“Nah, just got here. We got some rack time, no worries!” Exusiai told me. Texas just used the heel of her boot to grind out the cig, then tucked the butt away in a vest pouch. 

“So, er, what’s our itinerary?” I said, feeling a bit awkward. 

“Wake Dr. Sussorro. Get breakfast, get briefed. Head for Rhodes Island,” Texas said matter of factly. 

Exusiai nodded and went over to Sussurro’s door, where she banged on it rather loudly. “Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” 

“Coming,” a muffled voice said, and a few moments later, the door opened to reveal Sussurro already dressed, though she had a toothbrush in her hand and toothpaste on her lips. Seeing Exusiai, she said, “Scusami, un momento. Devo finire di prepararmi.”

“Non è niente. Abbiamo un po' di tempo,” Exusiai said, and Sussurro walked back in. 

She finished brushing her teeth, applied a bit of quick makeup, brushed her hair and tail a few times, then hurried back out, shrugging on a lab coat. “Grazie. Andiamo avanti.”

“Fanno colazione così,” Texas said, and headed down the hall. Sussurro went after, so I went along with it.

“She said they have breakfast,” Exusiai told me helpfully. “Don’t speak Siracusan?” 

“No, I don’t actually speak Yanese or Russian, er Ursus, either,” I said, scratching my head. “So I’m at a bit of a loss as to who I can understand and what I can read.”

Exusiai cocked her head to one side hearing that. “Huh. Weird. That got something to do with…you know.” She wiggled her fingers and gestured with her gun, which my admittedly limited training with the Boy Scouts made me think really wasn’t proper muzzle discipline. 

“My unique situation, shall we call it? Sure. But even if I’m a proto-neurologist, I’m the wrong damn guy to ask about that. This is so far beyond my understanding of brain chemistry and nerve function we might as well be talking rocket science. Or applied magic, I guess.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it then! I’m sure it’ll be fine. Plus, you’re a doctor, right? Well, then Rhodes Island is totally the right place for you! There’s good people there, and they’ve got the best desserts in the kitchen! Ooo, I wonder if I can get Lada to make me Sharlotka while I’m there!” 

“You like apples, huh? Trying to keep me away?” I teased. 

“Hehe! I basically never get sick! Pretty impressive for a Messenger, huh? Texas is always giving me a hard time, but I take all the right precautions. You don’t last as long in this business as I have if you don’t!” 

“How long have you been a messenger?” I asked. The timeline on Arknights was a real mystery to me. I know that events hop around all over the place, like the fact that that whole thing with the haunted ghost ship didn’t happen until after the Main Theme stories did, though how much further into the future it was, I had no clue. Where I was dropped off was kinda important. Like, had the Londinium Crisis happened yet? That was stuff I probably needed to know, because if I had secret future knowledge…

Shit, this was a lot to think about. 

“Five years now! Most of it with Penguin Logistics. I was one of the first people Boss hired, me and Texas both! Though she was, um, well she had some experience prior to being hired.”

“I…might know a little bit more of Texas’ backstory than you’d think,” I said, and I noted that Texas missed half a step. Sussurro, who had been talking to Texas in Not-Italian, fell back, giving me a wide smile.

“James. What have Dr. Gavial and I told you?”

“To keep the weird alien knowledge in my head to myself. But, Lucia…they deserve to know I might know a few secrets about them that they probably maybe wouldn’t share with just anyone. Like about-”

Sussurro shot me a death glare, and Exusiai’s smile had vanished, replaced by a look of worry.

“You…know stuff about me? Like…what?” 

“Your love of apple pie, for one thing. And that you blew up your school a dozen times.”

The grin bloomed again, and her eyes sparkled. “Actually, it was 17. But it was all an accident, I swear!” 

Sussurro sighed and shook her head, “La coda folta della mia vecchia nonna, James. Will you never learn?”

I mean I hadn’t just blurted everything about Mostima and the Fallen and the whole the Law actually being an ancient AI supercomputer that had turned Sarkaz into Sankta (I think, look, I saw the IS5 ending but I didn’t exactly read it super carefully, OK?). So I was counting this as a win. 

“I can understand one accidental explosion. I did the same thing in a chemistry lab once. But 17!? How were you not expelled?!” I demanded. 

Exusiai swelled up with pride, strutting along with a smug grin on her face. “I was considered a tad rambunctious and precocious. I got a special award when I graduated!” 

“Wasn’t that award the staff’s way of thanking the Law you were out of their halos?” Sussurro said, a small grin on her lips.

“I like to think of it as a special blessing bestowed upon them by my departure,” Exusiai said airily as we arrived at a small dining room. 

Ch’en and Gavial were already there, various maps spread out on the table in front of them. Gavial had a cup of coffee and a bun with what looked like meat filling, while Ch’en had some tea and a bowl of rice and eggs. 

“Ah, there you all are,” Gavial said, looking up as we entered. “Grab some grub, we’re struts up in 46 minutes!” 

I took a couple of those buns and a mug of joe for myself, while Sussurro helped herself to eggs and rice as well. Exusiai found some pastries with sweet fillings and chowed down, while Texas took only some coffee and sat down with Gavial and Ch’en, sipping at it. 

“Landing in Vyseheim?” Texas asked after a quick overview. 

“Yes, we’ve got contacts in the city, and they’re relatively friendly to the infected there,” Ch’en said. “We’re using the excuse that we’re an emergency medical flight, transporting VIPs from Lungmen to Rhodes Island for treatment.”

“That’s in Lethania, the deer people place, right?” I said. 

Ch’en frowned at me, while Exusiai gave me a baffled look.

“Caprinae and Elafia make up the majority population,” Gavial agreed, and pulled up some pictures for me.

Ah. Deer and goat people. A few things clicked into my mind, along with a certain evil MILF…

“Uh, Gertrude isn’t still in charge there, is she?” I asked, sweat breaking out on my brow. 

That prompted a raised eyebrow from Texas, but Ch’en shook her head. “No. She…passed away last year.”

Right. She got assassinated or something for killing Ebenholz’s lover by possessing him with Deer Sauron. Or at least, I think that’s how it went. 

That got me to breathe a heavy sigh of relief. “Oh, good. You had me worried for a second there. No objections from me, then. Though I take it I’m to stay out of sight and shut up while we’re there?”

“That would be for the best,” Sussurro said, patting me on the arm. 

“You know about the terroranschlag?” Texas asked. 

“Uh…” I looked to Sussurro, who was now digging her sharp little nails into my arm. Through the hoodie. “No comment.”

“Mmm,” Texas said, and shrugged. 

“Uh, Bones? You mind if I call you Bones?” Exusiai said, and I cringed so hard I think my soul twitched. 

“Literally anything but Bones,” I groaned. “Everyone calls me that. I absolutely hate it.”

That was, apparently, the exact wrong thing to say. Because Exusiai’s grin turned Cheshire, and she purred, “Bones it is, then! Anyway, Bones, where exactly are you from, again?”

“Columbia,” Gavial said, and glared at me. “That’s his story, and he's sticking to it. And don’t you forget it.”

“Sorry, Exusiai. Later, when we’re at Rhodes Island. We can talk then,” I promised. 

“Hmm, OK. I can keep a secret if I have to,” Exusiai said with a shrug. 

Texas snorted so hard she nearly spilled coffee all over herself. 

“What?! I can, you know! It’s my job. I just like to chat with people and stuff! Just because everyone else can’t keep mum about things doesn’t mean I can’t!” 

Texas nodded. “She is trustworthy. One of the few people I actually trust, not just with my life, but my honor. No one better to have covering you in an op.”

“Oh,” Exusiai said, and she actually teared up. “Um, thanks, Texas.”

Texas shrugged, then reached for a fruit that looked like a banana and peeled it. “It’s true. Figured we should all be on the same page. There’s no one here who can’t pull their weight.”

“I trust Penguin Logistics. We’ve worked together in the past, and your records are exemplary,” Ch’en said with a nod. 

“For sure! Glad to have you people watching my back,” Gavial agreed. 

I just looked down at my shoes, feeling rather useless. To my surprise, Sussurro was doing the same. What did she have to feel shame about? She was a bona fide badass doctor. I was just an idiot intern over his head. 

We finished up breakfast, then headed towards the roof. As we went, I glared at Exusiai. “How the hell did you know to call me Bones?”

“Well, you don’t make no bones about you being some sort of weird alien, you know? And you’re a doctor, like a real one, and they get called Sawbones, so I figured, Bones!” 

“Just so long as you don’t expect me to tell you I’m a doctor, not a miracle worker,” I grumbled. 

Exusiai looked wistful. “I dunno, Bones. If you really can…you know. Do what they said you can…sounds like a miracle to me. And I should know, I’m a Sankta. We’re familiar with Miracles. Even the rotten kind.”

The VTOL that was waiting for us on the roof was larger than the Penguin Logistics one, and looked to be more of a luxury craft than the utilitarian vehicle we’d arrived on. It was larger, and painted brightly in red, with Wei’s personal crest on it. Wei was standing there along with Fumizuki, accompanied by Hoshigumi, leading a contingent of LGD. 

Wei stepped away from his bodyguards, and I looked up a little to meet his eyes. So far, him and Hoshi were the only people taller than me so far, though Hoshi only by a hair if you didn’t count her horn advantage. 

“Well, Doctor McCoy. It seems here is where we part ways,” Wei said. 

I nodded, and extended a hand to him. My gloved right hand, due to it now having raw originium crystals that still ached. Sussurro had given me some pain meds earlier, along with some anti-oripathy drugs. We’d talked a bit over breakfast about continuing the routine, as there were risks involved. My biology was obviously different than a Terran’s, but it was decided it was less risky to give me some basic inhibitors than not to do so. 

“Thank you, sir. For trusting me, and Rhodes Island. You could have been a tyrant. But you choose to be something better.”

Gravely, Wei took my hand. “I am a tyrant, Dr. McCoy. But I am also an Uncle, who loves his niece very much. For her sake, and her sake alone…I am willing to let you go. Know this: If I thought caging  you would have been the best route to curing my Ch’en…you would be locked away.”

“Well, then, score one for love, I suppose.”

“Indeed.” Wei turned next to Ch’en, who stood beside me, stone faced as she regarded her uncle. He put a hand on her shoulder, and nodded to her. “Go now, with my blessing. I will do what I can to support you in this, niece. Whatever storm may come…hold fast to your ideals and to your companions. They are all that will see you through this.”

“Yes, Uncle,” Ch’en said, bowing slightly. Wei patted her on the shoulder, then stepped aside. Fumizuki came up next, and to my mild surprise, wrapped Ch’en in a warm embrace, which was returned. I think I even saw the gleam of tears in Ch’en’s eyes. 

“I will miss you. Write often. Even if you are busy, find the time. Your uncle and I treasure each of your missives.”

“Yes, Aunt Fumi. I will,” Ch’en promised. 

To the side, Texas and Exusiai were approached by Emperor and the other Penguin Logistics members. Sora ran up to Texas, taking the lupo’s hands in hers. 

“I thought we’d have more time together this round…but I’ll be thinking of you, Texas, every time I perform on stage.”

“Alice…” Texas said, and Sora suddenly blinked in surprise. Texas seemed to decide something, and suddenly broke Sora’s grip, then swept Sora off her feet, bending over as she rather thoroughly kissed the pop star. 

That move seemed to shock everyone present, except for Croissant, who just nodded and muttered, “‘bout time.”

Though Exusiai did pump her fist and grin when she recovered, turning to Croissant with a raised palm, who gave her a loud high-five. 

After quite a while, Texas stood Sora back up and set her on her feet, causing Sora to fan herself and blush. “C-Cellinia! What, I mean, I thought we agreed-”

Texas took Sora in her arms again, putting one finger to Sora’s chin. “Alice. I might not come back from this one. This time…it’s serious. And since I might not see you again, I want you to know this: I love you, Alice Springs. With all my heart. So no matter what happens to either of us, or how far apart we are, my heart is always with you, amore mio.”

Then Texas kissed Sora again, who rather enthusiastically returned it. 

“I…I love you too, Cellinia Texas,” Sora whispered, caressing her lover’s cheek. “What…what’s going on? Boss said it was serious, but-”

“I’m not a good person, Sora. You know that. There’s too much blood on these hands. But this…this is something I can raise my blade for with pride and honor. Perhaps the world will not remember the name of Texas with fear and hatred after this. I don’t know. Maybe they’ll forget me and my family entirely, and that would be for the best. Either way. This is something I have to do. Not because Boss asked me, or because I’m getting paid. But because it’s right. Because I love you. And I know it’s what you would want me to do.”

“I…” Sora closed her eyes, and nodded. “OK. I’ll trust you, Cellinia. You’re a better woman than you think. You helped a stupid, clumsy girl, and reminded her that life doesn’t have to be so lonely. Thank you. Please, be safe. And come back to me.”

“I’ll try.” With one final kiss, Texas turned to me, and strode over. “These blades are yours. My life is yours. By the Honor of the Texas famiglia, I will see you safely to Rhodes Island, and beyond.”

“That’s…a lot,” I said, feeling both honored and rather concerned. “I’m really just a guy, Texas. A first-year resident in over his head.”

“Perhaps. But you are also something more. Do not forget that. Come on, Exusiai.”

“Right behind ya, Texas!” our angel of superior firepower said brightly. She saluted me. “Well, I don’t have any fancy speeches like Miss Drama Queen here, but my guns are locked and loaded! Let’s get this party started!” 

“Ch’en?” Hoshiguma said in an overly loud whisper. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure yet, Guma. Perhaps nothing but a dream. Perhaps the start of something great. Only time will tell.” Ch’en extended a hand to the oni. “Watch over Lungmen in my absence. The LGD will need-OOF!” 

Ignoring the hand, Hoshiguma wrapped Ch’en in a bone-crushing bear hug. “You stay safe, you hear, Captain? Gavial! You watch after her, got it? She needs someone to watch her back, she’s too clumsy to do it herself!” 

“Don’t worry, Lightweight. I’ll make sure these kids stay safe,” Gavial said with a wide grin. “Someone has to be the adult in this group!” 

“And here I thought that was Sussurro’s job,” I mused to no one in particular. Gavial actually cackled and slapped her knee at that, while Sussurro sniffed. 

“And don’t you forget it, James. Alright, people. Time waits for no woman. Andiamo!”

We all piled into the VTOL, along with Andrey, Svetla, and her two kids, Arseniy and Kirill. They were about eight and five, and looked a little better today, though both of them were clinging to Andrey tightly. Ch’en went upfront to act as co-pilot, though the actual pilot was one of Wei’s best. 

“It’s alright, we’re heading to Rhodes Island. Doctor Gavial says it is safe, even for infected, and that they have lots of other kids there for us to play with,” Andrey told the two liberi kids. 

“But, we are not Infected,” Arseniy said. “So why do we have to go? Why can’t we go back home?”

“It isn’t safe, my heart,” Svetla said, looking rather ragged with dark circles under her eyes despite the fresh set of clothing. “There is nothing left for us in Ursus. We will seek a new place to call home.”

“But what about Myshka and daddy?” Kirill asked. 

“Daddy is…not coming,” Svelta said. “And…and Myshka has gone to a farm to live. He will be happy there.”

I guessed Myshka was some sort of pet. Later, I’d learn he was their pet cat, though they stubbornly called it a “kitty.” At least they didn’t call it a purr-beast or something. 

As we rose up into the air, Texas pulled out a tablet and passed it to me. “As requested.”

“Huh?” I took the tablet, tapped it, and a video player with several dozen shows appeared on it. “Wait, you…you actually got me a list of anime?” 

Texas just blinked at me, apparently deciding that the question was too stupid to bother answering. After giving me enough time to feel silly, she pointed at several playlists. “This is Idol. Here, Isekai. Also, sports, and several medical dramas. I was not certain as to your tastes, so I downloaded a large library.”

“I…thanks, Texas. That…that means a lot to me,” I said, gazing down at the lists. I frowned at one. “Wait, Sora no Uta? Is that…?”

A small smile played on Texas’ lips. “A recent release. She voices herself.”

“Guess she’s not small time anymore,” I remarked.

“Yeah, Sora’s gotten real popular! She’s sold 500,000 albums in Lungmen, and she’s super popular in Victoria and even is making inroads in Leithanien!” Exusiai said excitedly. 

“I had heard she’d gotten her own show, but I haven’t had time to watch it,” Sussurro said, leaning over to look at the tablet. 

Unlike the other VTOL, which just had jump seats and a spartan metal interior, this craft looked more like the inside of a luxury private jet. The seats were plush and roomy, and there was a thick carpet on the floor. There was plenty of space to stow gear and weapons, but things were positively roomy overall. 

I took up one of the earbuds Texas had given me with the tablet, and proffered it to Sussurro. “We can watch it together. I’m sure there’s going to be cultural context I just don’t get, so it might help to have you explain. I know, er, some vague details of what all is happening, but a lot of my knowledge is, ah, somewhat centric to Rhodes Island and people attached to it.”

“Oh, the Old Hags are just going to LOVE you when we get back,” Gavial muttered. She had reclaimed her chair and had her eyes closed.

We popped the earbuds and settled in to watch Sora no Uta. Normally, it very much would not have been my cup of tea. I don’t actually watch that much anime, or, well, TV in general. Generally, if I do, I favor something more like Squid Game or Severance. 

That said, Arknights is my baby. I’ve watched not just the main anime, but all of Lee’s Detective Agency, and Kay’s Daily Doodles. So an idol anime about Sora? Sign me up! She maybe wasn’t my favorite operator, but I’d take it. The whole thing was…well, not what I expected, I guess, but at the same time, 100% what I should have expected. None of the other Penguin Logistics members appeared, except for Emperor, who would show up to yell at her occasionally as her “manager.” Most of the show centered around Sora and two other idols working to become popular and win the “Lungmen Lights Idol Bonanza.” 

And, ugh, it was also set in high school. 

“Why can’t they just be adults?” I sighed as yet another episode devolved into stupid high school hijinks, this time with Sora getting nervous about getting some boy to ask her on a date. I can’t even remember the dude’s name and I watched the episode just a few hours ago. “What is up with them always setting these shows in high school?”

“It’s one of the reasons I could never get into anime,” Sussurro said with a sigh. “Seriously, Sora’s worried about getting a date for a school festival? I can’t really relate. Not to mention, well, now I know for a fact she wouldn’t want a boy to ask her out.” 

“Yeah, at least set it in college. Then maybe it wouldn’t be so…what’s the word? Twee?” 

“Hmm, appropriate,” Sussurro agreed. She glanced over at Texas, who appeared to just be napping in her chair, though by how her ears were twitching she was clearly listening to us. “Sorry, Texas. This show just isn’t for us.”

“She hates it too,” Texas said without opening her eyes. “I found it cute.”

“Ooooo, somebody’s got it baaaaad for Sora!” Exusiai said in teasing tones. 

Texas opened one eye. “Yes.” Then she closed the eye.

“You know, Texas, you would be a lot more fun if you reacted to my teasing once in a while,” Exusiai grumbled. She had been disassembling and reassembling her guns with headphones on the entire time, the faint sound of what seemed like hip-hop at max volume blasting away. 

Texas just shrugged and kept pretending to nap. Gavial was playing cards with the kids again, having gotten bored of napping after only an hour. Arseniy and Kirill seemed to have cheered up and were laughing and smiling now, with Andrey in fine spirits as well. Svetla was looking out the window, her gaze unfocused. I was a bit worried about her, but I was a doctor, not a psychologist. I could fix the body and the physical parts of the brain. Not so much PTSD. 

“Anything on here look more riveting?” I asked Sussurro. 

“Hmm, how about Fangbeast? I’ve heard it’s quite good,” Sussurro said. 

“Sure,” I agreed, and we clicked on that next. 

We lasted about five minutes. Then we got to the massacre of the refugees of the Bloodpeak Campaign by Ursus forces. Sussurro started crying, and I felt like breakfast was going to pay us a second visit. 

“That…that one’s too real,” I said, and turned it off. 

“Let’s…let’s try Love is Hard When You Have Seven Tails. That sounds like a romcom,” Sussurro sniffled. “And the protagonist looks like an adult…”

“She is,” Texas said, still with her eyes closed. “It’s a romance between a kitsune priest and a mafiosa running from her life in a famiglia.” 

“Wait, hold on. They made a romcom about Lisa’s mom and dad!?” I demanded. 

Everyone looked up at me. Even Texas opened her eyes and frowned, and Gavial leaned over from the card game. 

I coughed. “I mean, uh, I know who Vulpisfoglia is.”

“Who?” Sussurro said, her eyes narrowing at me. “James…”

“Yeah, yeah, weird alien knowledge.” Shit, I guess that I Portatori dei Velluti hadn’t happened yet. That was the latest event to come to EN, and sort of the limit of my rather spotty knowledge. “Um, but I know who Suzuran is. Er, I know her mom as Vulpisfoglia. And…who she is.” 

“So you know Signora Spaventata,” Texas said, sitting up with her eyes now fully open. “Very few people know who her daughter is. I suggest you not spread it around. I figured it out some time ago. For the sake of Lisa, I kept that knowledge to myself. I suggest you do the same, Bones.”

“Wait, hold on, sweet little Lisa is HER daughter!? That’s who Ingrid is!?” Exusiai demanded. 

Texas gave a slight nod. “She’s left that life behind. I can respect that. We’ve talked. It is…painful for her.”

“You actually talked to someone? What, did you both say a single word and you considered that a conversation!?” Exusiai said. 

Texas turned to look out the window. “No. We talked of family. Of blood. Of honor. Of Siracusa. And of the hollowness of revenge. I wish her well.”

“That’s the sort of connection Lisa has, huh?” Gavial slowly shook her head. “I knew she’d fled Siracusa after getting infected. Didn’t realize her mom was a Made Man. Haven’t heard of any Signora Spaventata, though.”

“She’s why the Tancredi famiglia is a shadow of its former self. It’s a story all too familiar in Siracusa. And one reason I don’t miss my homeland very often,” Sussurro said with a shudder. 

“You know, I thought this job was gonna be kinda boring, but if you keep spilling juicy details like that, Bones, this is gonna be great!” Exusiai said with a laugh. 

“Let’s maybe just watch the stupid romcom,” I mumbled. 

It wasn’t stupid. It was freaking HILARIOUS. Easily the best thing I’ve watched in ages. I don’t normally watch romance shows but this was great. From the way that the higashi priest was a sensitive intellectual that kept trying to appear badass and failing, only to further endear himself to the former stone cold killer, to the kitsune goddess who was trying to set them up in increasingly oddball scenarios, the whole thing was a riot, and Sussurro and me laughed ourselves silly until Ch’en came in over the intercom. 

“We’ll be landing in Vyseheim in a few minutes. We’ve made contact with control there. However, this is a small wrinkle in our plans.”

We all looked up at the intercom, and Ch’en continued, “There’s been an unexpected Catastrophe in our flight path. The city itself isn’t in danger, having moved out of the way. But we’ll need to spend an extra day or two in Vyseheim until the Catastrophe blows itself out.”

“Uh, is that bad?” I asked, looking around at the others. 

“It’s not good, but it’s also not that unusual,” Gavial said, putting away the cards. “Stuff like this happens, especially on long-distance trips.”

“I’ve come across more than one Catastrophe that brewed up out of nowhere and had to high-tail it out of there,” Exusiai said with a nod. “It’s only happened to me four times in my career as a messenger, but it’s definitely an occupational hazard.”

“Even the best forecast can’t predict every Catastrophe. This one sounds fairly major, though,” Texas said with a frown. “I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, I hate to agree with Captain Grumpy Pants, but this smells like three-day-old fish,” Exusiai said with a nod. “Trapped in Vyseheim for an extra couple of days with our most important package yet…could we maybe find a way to fly around?”

“I’ll talk to Ch’en,” Gavial said, getting up and heading up front. She came back a minute later and strapped in, frowning. “The Catastrophe is legit. They’re picking it up on long-range radar, and there’s a lot of chatter about it on comms. But yeah, I don’t like this. We need to get to Rhodes Island ASAP.”

“Vyseheim is still unstable from the terroranschlag and Dame Gertrude’s abominations,” Sussurro said, shaking her head. “But Hibiscus is still there. We’ll make contact with her and feel things out.”

“That’s good,” I thought for a moment, then added, “We should probably bring some ration bars. Just in case.”

“That would be wise,” Texas said, her nose wrinkling, and Sussurro and Gavial nodded emphatically.

“I don’t know why you guys are so against her cooking. It’s not that bad. And Bones hasn’t even had any!” Exusiai said. 

“Lateranos,” Sussurro said, sounding disgusted. “All those sweets have rotted your taste buds. L'orecchio sinistro di mio nonno! She tried to serve a carrot and broccoli pizza! With no salt or oil in the sauce! It was just crushed tomatoes!”

Texas visibly shuddered, her tail bristling, and she growled, “Ambombinazione.” 

“You ate that!?” I said, giving Exusiai an incredulous look. 

“I mean, sure, it wasn’t what I would call tasty, but it left plenty of room for dessert. It was just kinda bland, and some hot sauce fixed it right up!”

“You…you put hot sauce…on pizza!?” I demanded. “Exusiai, that might be worse than putting ranch dressing on pizza!” 

The looks of sheer horror that Sussurro and Texas gave me could only be described as overly comical, especially since it was about as emotive as I had ever seen Texas. 

“You think that’s bad, you should have seen how Texas reacted when I put maple syrup on pizza one time!” Exusiai cackled. 

“You…you are friends with this…creature!?” Sussurro hissed, her tail bristling and her teeth bared in disgust. 

“I burned that filth she made. But I am reconsidering our relationship,” Texas said with a shudder. 

“Pfff, you both love my dessert pizza and you know it,” Exusiai said with a roll of her eyes. 

Both Siracusians immediately blushed and looked away.

“...I thought it was a tart,” Sussurro muttered. 

“I was drunk,” Texas mumbled. 

“Well, I thought it was pretty good. Ranch on pizza, huh Bones? Now that sounds interesting,” Gavial mused. 

The comic gagging sounds that Sussurro and Texas made were actually pretty funny. 

“Don’t worry, I don’t actually put ranch or hot sauce on my pizza,” I assured Sussurro as we taxied in for a landing. 

“Good, or I might have to euthanize you myself,” Sussurro told me deadpan. 

“I do like deep dish, though,” I mused. 

The look of disgust on her face was absolutely worth it. “Idiota Columbians.”

“Technically, American, but sure.”

I actually don’t like deep dish, but I won’t let that stop me. I’ll have to make Hawaiian pizza some time just to see the shock and horror. 

This landing was a lot less rocky, and when the hatch opened, our welcoming committee much smaller. In fact, it was just two people that I recognized: Hibiscus, though looking more like her alter than the original, and Czerny. I didn’t know much about either of them other than that they’d helped banish Deer Sauron’s Ghost or something, though I didn’t think they’d been involved when the Twin Empresses did that thing with Arturia where we fought Deer Sauron again. 

Honestly, I really wasn’t clear on what all had happened because I was laser focused on getting Virtuosa and Viviana, even if Viviana turned out to be a major letdown. Banger visual design though. 

“Dr. Sussurro! Dr. Gavial!” Hibiscus said, waving excitedly. “It’s so good to see you both!” 

“Dr. Hibiscus, it’s good to see you,” Sussurro said, and the three exchanged hugs. 

“And Miss Ch’en, along with Texas and Exusiai! So many old friends!” Hibiscus said. She motioned to Czerny, who bowed slightly. “This is Herr William Czerny. I believe you’ve met Dr. Gavial and Dr. Sussurro before, but I’m not sure if you know the others.”

“I have met Miss Ch’en, if only briefly,” Czerny said, nodding to her. “I am not acquainted with the others. And who is this?”

“This is Dr. Bones, our new medical intern,” Sussurro said, gesturing to me. “We’re transporting four patients who are refugees from Ursus to Rhodes Island. Mrs. Svetla, and her three children. Andrey, Arseniy, and Kiril.”

“Ah, hello there, little ones,” Czerny said, taking a knee to get on the same level as the kids. “Please, call me Uncle William. I will be escorting you all to where you shall be spending the night. Come, the van is this way.”

The pilot stayed behind with the airship, and the rest of us piled into a large van with Rhodes Island markings on it. Hibiscus chattered away with Sussurro. Apparently, Sussurro had been a couple of years senior to her, and had been both a friend and mentor. 

“And what about you, Dr. Bones. Where did you go to school?” Hibiscus said, smiling at me. 

“Trimount Medical School,” Gavial said before I could open my mouth. “He’s not much of a talker.”

That damn nickname was going to stick, wasn’t it?

“Hmm. Quite the mission to have two members of Penguin Logistics, Miss Ch’en, and you, Dr. Gavial. I suppose it’s classified?” Hibiscus said, cocking her head to one side. 

“Yes,” Sussurro said.

Hibiscus nodded, and changed the subject. “You’ll all be happy to know that dinner tonight…is being cooked by someone else.”

“Xing hao,” Ch’en muttered, then flushed. 

“Haha! I’m still working on my recipes. Aren’t I, Herr Czerny?”

“You have…improved. Somewhat,” Czerny said, glancing in the rearview mirror. “We have ordered takeout, however. Some roast fowlbeast, with fried potatoes and bread. Though Dr. Hibiscus failed to mention that she has cooked a dish to go with our dinner.”

“Glazed carrots,” she said. “You don’t have to eat them, but even Lava ate them last time she came through and said they weren’t the worst thing she’d ever tasted. I also made a fruit salad. Dessert comes from a local bakery, though! I got some Zimtsterne. I know they’re not healthy, but…well, you did mention in your message you had children along, and they don’t like to just eat fruits and vegetables.”

“I’ll eat whatever you’ve made, Hibiscus! You know I’m not picky like some people,” Exusiai said, a wide grin on her face. 

Texas flicked her ears, and Sussurro mumbled something under her breath. 

We didn’t end up at the Rhodes Island clinic, but instead at a somewhat ramshackle house in the city’s infected Quarter. 

“You will have to forgive the exterior. I have only just returned after a long sojourn at Rhodes Island, under the most excellent care of Dr. Sussurro. Still, the inside has been well maintained, and I assure you, it is quite comfortable, if a bit cramped for such a large party,” Czerny commented as he parked the van. 

We all headed inside, and while the small house did struggle to fit everyone, the food was actually pretty good. Against my better judgment, I tried the glazed carrots and fruit salad, and was rather shocked by what I tasted. 

“Hey, these are actually pretty good!” I said, spearing another carrot and munching on it. “What is that flavor, honey?”

“It is! I used only olive oil instead of butter since that’s a bit healthier, but the important thing is that it still provides lots of Vitamin A and other important nutrients for growing bodies,” Hibiscus said. “What do you think, Andrey?” 

“Good!” he said, taking another bite of carrot. 

The fruit salad had no dressing, just some lemon juice, but it was still perfectly serviceable. The “roast fowl beast” looked and tasted a lot like chicken, and seemed to have come from a local eatery, so no complaints there. 

“You know, from how Lucia and the others were acting, I half thought you’d try to poison us,” I told Hibiscus. 

She laughed at that. “Unfortunately, my cooking has historically been pretty bad. I still prefer healthy recipes, but I’ve come to accept that if the food isn’t tasty, the patient won’t eat it. That, and a little fat and sugar in moderation won’t kill anyone.”

“Good grub is one of the keys to getting a patient back on the mend! I’ve told you that how many times, Hibiscus?” Gavial asked, pointing her fork at her former student. 

“Only about a million, I’m sure. But I’m finally listening. Thanks for your patience, Dr. Gavial.”

“Ah, you’re graduated, kid. Just Gavial when we ain’t on the clock,” Gavial said with a smile. 

Well, it seems like one of the longest running gags in the fandom is dead. I, for one, am grateful. 

After that, Czerny played the piano for us, and I have to say, I have never in my life heard a more magnificent performance. He moved us to tears with one piece, then sent our hearts leaping with joy and laughter in the next. I detected more than a hint of arts in the song, but it definitely would have been incredible even without literal sorcery woven into it. 

“I think it’s time for bed for little sleepy heads,” Hibiscus said, gently touching Czerny’s arm. The kids were in fact drooping and yawning. They were tucked away into Czerny’s bed with Svetla, while he continued to play a lullaby. 

Once the door was closed, Czerny said softly, “It is cramped, but safe. I have several friends keeping an eye on things. They do not know why, as a matter of fact, I am rather ignorant of the situation myself. But they will keep watch.”

“Good to know. But we’ll be going on patrol all the same,” Texas said, standing. “Exusiai?”

“On your six, Texas. Ch’en, Gavial, you got us on comms. Holler if something comes up,” Exusiai said, her voice soft. They both departed out of a window, taking to the rooftops. 

“You don’t need to tell us what’s going on, or why,” Hibiscus said quietly. “But I got a message from the Director. I’ve never seen a Delta Black level priority before. Honestly, I didn’t know they existed. But we’re on alert. I think Vyseheim is relatively safe, at least now.”

Czerny grunted as he continued to play, soft and sweet. “I am only an adjunct Operator with Rhodes Island. I do not need nor want to know. But I owe Rhodes Island my life, and that of dear Franz. Whatever we can do.”

“Your vigilance is noted and appreciated,” Ch’en said, standing. “Gavial, I shall take first watch. You and the others get some rest.”

There was a couch and a couple of armchairs, one of which Gavial took. “You want the couch?” I asked Sussurro. 

She eyed it, then shrugged. “Probably big enough for both of us. I’m fun sized, remember? As long as you’re OK with that.”

I blushed slightly, but nodded. It was a rather big couch, and we were both fully clothed, even if Sussurro’s back pressed up against mine was, ah, rather noticeable. With Czerny’s music lulling us to sleep, I finished up the journal for the day. 

If more days were like this…Maybe I could have a life on Terra, after all. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 11

Animula Choragi 11: If Ever I Would Leave You

Yennifer awoke earlier than usual. She’d had the oddest dream the night before, standing on a stage with Furina, along with another woman who could have been Furina’s twin, or at least the twin of how Furina had looked before she’d dyed her hair and started wearing contacts. The first part of the dream, when Furina had hugged her and told Yennifer she was Furina’s best friend had felt so very, very real…

The next part of the dream had been wonderful. The two of them had danced together on the stage as the orchestra played. A wonderful waltz together, holding one another tight. Only, as the dance had gone on, an ominous presence had grown. A golden light that had sent shivers of fear down Yennifer’s spine and she and Furina clung together.

Keep dancing. We must keep dancing, until the curtain falls. We must keep the eyes of heaven off of us, until the stage is set for the grand climax…

Yennifer had looked down at herself, and started to see that she was wearing a bridal gown. When she looked at Furina, she was dressed in that same crowned outfit she’d worn when she’d first arrived on Earth Bet, her disguise vanished, her true hair color and eyes showing through. 

“I love you,” Yennifer had gasped. “I’ll dance by your side forever!” 

Then she’d woken up, and to her embarrassment repeated that same phrase to Furina. Hopefully, Furina didn’t remember it. The poor woman thought of Yennifer as a sister, and besides, she probably wasn’t even gay. Such was the story of Yennifer’s life. 

Sighing, Yennifer scooped up Diane, and set her down in the new litterbox. The kitten seemed to know what to do, finishing her business, then accepting a treat from Yennifer’s palm happily. 

“Good girl,” Yennifer said, stroking Diane, who purred and then nipped at the fingers. 

“Breakfast, I think,” Yennifer said, picking the kitten up and taking her over to the table, where she poured a bowl of milk and mixed it with some wet cat food. To her embarrassment, she found herself holding Diane in her lap and spoon feeding the kitten, who seemed to rather enjoy the attention. “Spoiled brat.”

“Mew!” Diane said, then batted at the glowing azure vision that hung from a cord around Yennifer’s neck. 

When Diane was fed, Yennifer let her scamper off to play on the cat tree while she examined her Vision in her palm. It didn’t feel real. Getting her Vision had been nothing like her Trigger Event. 

A bottle of pills by the nightstand, retching into the toilet bowl, her body wracked with pain and grief. Something within her had snapped, and she’d felt the world shift. Great lights, flashing in her mind, an incomprehensible vision, then-

Slowly, Yennifer reached up to feel at her horns. They were still there, of course. She was still a parahuman, no doubt about it. But something felt…different. She plucked at her horn, but it didn’t detach. 

“Hmm.” Standing, Yennifer went to the bedroom, where Furina was breathing softly in the bed. Gently, she plucked up her sword from its rack on the wall, then prodded the hilt with her Vision. Nothing. “How to bond you…”

Grasping the hilt, Yennifer held the sword up. She could feel energy within the blade, something that had never happened before. Holding her Vision in one hand and the sword in the other, Yennifer fed a bit of elemental energy into it and-

The blade vanished to watery mist, making Yennifer stumble slightly in surprise and let out a soft gasp. Unfortunately, that was enough to wake Furina, who was a bit of a light sleeper. 

“Hmm?” Furina yawned, stretching before sitting up. She smacked her lips, then spied the mortified Yennifer and blushed. “Oh! Um, good morning.”

“Good morning,” Yeniffer said, slowly standing. “I, um, well. I was just seeing if I could bond my blade…”

“Oh? Did you?” Furina said, looking around expectantly.

Nodding, Yennifer held out her hand, and her sword fell into it. She gave it a swish and a flick, then saluted Furina with it. “Yes, it just startled me when it disappeared into my Vision. How does that even work, anyway?”

“I’m not really sure, I never had a Vision of my own, nor a weapon,” Furina admitted. She grimaced. “Truth be told, I was a little jealous when you ran in with that Vision. I’d always wanted a Hydro Vision myself…though that would, perhaps, have given the game away.”

“Sorry,” Yennifer said, dismissing the sword with a flick of her hand. That was remarkably intuitive and simple. She sat down on the bed, holding out the Vision to Furina. “You want to hold it?”

Furina hesitated, then shook her head. “No, it’s your Vision. Um, when you received it, did you…?”

“I heard a voice. Honestly, I half expected it to be yours,” Yennifer admitted. “It did sound a bit like you, but it was someone else. You heard the recording of the poem. I’ll never forget those words.”

Closing her eyes, Furina recited,

The court is now in session 

Let the defendant rise! 

You will stand for Justice 

No matter your foe's size. 

Though you wear a mask of Duty, 

Your spirit shall not fade

Shout forth your loud objection! 

Daughter of Law’s shade

When she finished, they both sat in silence for several moments. Yennifer marveling at her Vision. At last, she said, “I confess, when I realized you weren’t the Hydro Archon, I was worried. What if the Archon was like the Tsaritsa? But, she has to be a good person, right? She’s…well, she feels like Justice is very important to her. That, and duty. Something I’ve always felt pressing on me.”

“I…yes.” Furina looked away, and Yennifer saw a tear trickle down her cheek. “You…you must continue to believe I am not the Hydro Archon, Yennifer. I spoke the truth to you when I arrived: I was not the Hydro Archon of Teyvat. And even here, it’s Focalors. I don’t properly know where she is, but…Focalors, not Furina, is the Archon.”

Yennifer nodded slowly, but her lawyer brain clicked on. Furina was usually rather precise with her wording and phrasing. Probably to do with her background as a lawyer cum actress. Which meant what she just said was…odd. Still, Yennifer resolved to trust Furina. Her Ambition, odd as it was, was to protect Furina and see that she got Justice. No matter what, Yennifer was going to be Furina’s Advocate and Defender. For now, that meant protecting Furina from nosy little sisters who damn well ought to know better. But also…

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to go to Mousquetaires headquarters today, and register myself. I’m already on file there of course, but now I’m a dual Vision Holder and Parahuman. I’m not completely up to date, but I do believe I’ve just joined a club the members of which you can count on a single hand. Myself, Captain von Dresch, and President Alexandria are the only examples I know of. Though I’m by far the most pathetic member of the club.”

“Don’t say that!” Furina said, a sudden fire entering her expression. “You’re a brave and heroic knight! I don’t know who this Alexandria is, but how many Harbingers has she stood up to?”

“More than me. She was on television last night after having fought and defeated the Prince outside Helsinki. Though how much longer that city can hold out…” Yennifer shrugged helplessly. 

“She fought and defeated a Harbinger? But, then, isn’t the war won?” Furina asked. 

“Alexandria has killed the Prince at least twice now. He doesn’t stay dead,” Yennifer said with a shudder. “He’s more of a living storm contained in a flesh puppet than a man. Killing the puppet slows him down until he can reconstitute himself, but that takes at most a few days.” 

“Oh. He’s like Il Dottore then,” Furina said, looking rather green. “I met him, once. The man was deeply unnerving. I’ve heard he’s been killed more than once, including in that incident in Sumeru when the Fatui attacked Lord Buer…”

“What?! Who would dare attack Nahida!?” Yennifer gasped. “She’s, well, she’s the Hopebringer! Half the world would starve without her, not to mention the Simurgh would start murdering entire cities again!” 

“If it would bring her power, do you really think the Tsaritsa would stop her servants from attacking even the God of Wisdom?” Furina asked quietly. “That’s why I so feared assassination by the Knave. She even tried, once. I never did learn why she stopped before taking my life.”

“In a world of gods and monsters, it’s hard being a mere mortal,” Yennifer said. On impulse, she leaned over and hugged Furina. “But we’ll stick together, no matter what.”

To her immense relief, Furina didn’t recoil. Instead, she buried her face in Yennifer’s chest and clung to her tightly. 

“Promise me…promise me you won’t abandon me, like everyone else always has,” Furina whispered. “No matter…no matter what you learn about me.”

“Nothing you ever do or say could ever convince me to abandon you, Furina,” Yennifer said, her Vision glowing brightly. She tried to stop herself from continuing, but found she couldn’t. “I love you, Furina. With all my heart.”

“Thank you,” Furina whispered, and let Yennifer hold her a while longer. 

Mentally, Yennifer kicked herself. Perhaps she owed Charlotte an apology. She could feel this drive to declare her Ambition, her feelings, to the world, and especially to Furina. Really, this was much too fast. She knew all the jokes about lesbians bringing a moving van to the second date, but really, she’d known Furina for barely more than a month. Now was not the time to declare undying and eternal love. 

A sudden image filled Yennifer’s mind. Standing on a hilltop, holding hands before a weathered grave. She knelt, and wiped away some moss.

Charlotte Lustria

April 10th, 1990 - November 8th, 2102

The Truth Will Set You Free

She blinked and the vision was gone. What on earth? How morbid was that? Seeing her little sister’s grave? What was that supposed to be? She was eleven years older than Charlotte, and almost certainly wouldn’t outlive her sister. 

“Well, I’ve got a shift to work. I should hear back from the theater soon about if I will get a role and what the rehearsal schedule will be,” Furina said. 

Yennifer gave Furina a flat look. “I heard what the owner said. You’re already cast in the role of Fantine. Don’t fret about it.” 

“I…well, I just…I don’t want to make assumptions,” Furina said with a blush. “Besides, Julie and Barbara are waiting to hear back as well. I do hope they’ll get roles too…”

“I heard Barbara’s audition, she was good. But, I think perhaps she’ll get a role regardless of her skill level,” Yennifer said with a sigh. 

Furina winced. “Because her mother is the mayor?”

“Because she’s Barbara d’Orleans. You…you don’t know what that means, do you?” Yennifer said, cocking her head to one side. 

“Um, that her family is wealthy and powerful?” Furina guessed. 

“That her mother is the Rightful Queen of France, and that Barbara is, for all intents and purposes, a Princess. Even if her mother did renounce her titles years ago.” 

Furina’s mouth dropped open, and Yennifer sighed. “It’s a very long, very complicated history. But to be brief, Jeanne and her daughter are direct descendants of Hughes Capet, as well as Philippe I, Duke of Orleans, younger brother of Louis the XIV, the Sun King. Her husband was her cousin Louis Bourbon-d’Orleans, Count of Paris. They were second cousins, but the marriage was still rather scandalous. Now she is technically Countess of Paris of according to the monarchists, Properly Queen Jeanne I of France.”

“But, wait, if she’s the rightful queen-”

“Louis and Jeanne both renounced their titles. It was a great scandal and a heavy blow to the Monarchists. It was her husband’s death at the hands of the Blasphemies that led to the Fall of the Fifth Republic and the August Civil War. Jeanne was instrumental in bringing about a peace that the Monarchists and the Republicans could accept, at least in part because despite being the Orleanist Pretender, Jeanne herself is a Republican. Don’t try to understand it, the entire thing is a great bloody mess.”

“And Barbara?” Furina asked, sounding rather faint. 

“There are those in the Monarchist faction that would see Barbara on the Throne of France. Barbara, however, is a minor. And, well, if her collaborations with my sister are any indication, just as much of an anti-Monarchist as her mother. For heaven’s sake, she attends a public school! Albeit with a bodyguard. You would not believe the background checks and interviews I had to go through before they would let her spend the night here. I had to chase away the paparazzi the first few times. Unbelievable.” 

“Then…who rules France? You said it was a Republic?” Furina asked. “Sorry, this is really something I should have looked up earlier…”

“Currently, the president is Bruno Mégret. He’s a complete Arschloch, but he was the compromise candidate between the insane communist who wanted to do purges of everyone who had ever taken communion as well as anyone who had ever owned more than the clothes on their back, or the ultra-Monarchist who would have installed Jeanne against her will as Queen, then rounded up all the parahumans and executed them.”

“French politics sound…intense,” Furina admitted. “Fontainian court politics could be labyrinthian, but at least everyone agreed the Iudex and the Archon were in charge, even if the Archon was more of a figurehead.” 

“By which you mean yourself?” Yennifer asked with a small smile. 

“Ugh, yes,” Furina said with a grimace. Then she flushed and raised her hands. “I-I was only pretending, remember? Anyway, while I had a great deal of influence and soft power, I, um, well, I tried very hard not to rule. I was somewhat preoccupied with trying to find a way to avert the prophecy, and anyway, I don’t think I’ve much of a talent for leadership.”

“Don’t feel bad, the only thing I’d put Venti in charge of is a concert, and even then I’d make sure that Naomi and Capri were supervising him to make sure he didn’t cause too much of a disaster,” Yennifer said, standing. “I’m going to wake Barbara and get going. I’ve already fed Diane, but do play with her for a bit before you leave, the poor dear needs stimulation and companionship.”

“And here you said you didn’t want a pet,” Furina said, laughing and standing herself. 

“I never said that,” Yennifer sniffed. “I said my mother always told me I’d turn into a crazy cat lady. That and that God would strike me down. Either for being a parahuman or gay, depending on the day.”

“What a lovely woman. I can’t wait to meet her,” Furina said with a sigh. 

Yennifer started. Furina, meeting her mother? Why did that send her pulse racing? It’s not like she ever intended to introduce her girlfriends to her mother. The old Miststück was likely to just throw something at her. 

And Furina was not her girlfriend. Just her friend. Who slept in her bed. And had adopted a cat with her. 

Stop it. Furina needs a friend and a protector, not someone pining for her. 

After ensuring Charlotte was up, Yennifer headed out. The École Militaire had once been a military academy, but the current government was obsessed with reclaiming the supposed glorious heritage of French Militarism, and the Mousquetaires were headquartered there along with the various heads of the military.

 Yennifer thought everything but the Mousquetaires were a bit of a shame and pointless posturing: if the current war hadn’t proved that conventional military forces were worth about as much as a wet fart in the wind when it came to modern combat, she didn’t know what would. Mayhaps a military like the Japanese Bakufu’s forces would be more practical, but Yennifer didn’t think France had enough high-quality Tinkers to pull that off. 

Although…if they could figure out how to harness Elemental Energy into military technology…

She shook her head. No need to start giving these reactionary idiots ideas. 

The interior of the École Militaire was in grand classical style: marble columns, exquisite wood paneling, and grand paintings of kings and emperors past. That had always bothered Yennifer: she’d never liked how much France was trending towards authoritarianism and militarism, not to mention the increased nationalism. She herself would have preferred that her nation emphasize that they were where the Revolution had truly begun on behalf of the working class, of the downtrodden and destitute…but alas. Such was not how things worked in Earth Bet.

She approached the desk, where behind the secretary, a foreboding picture of Iron Mask stood. He was posed in front of the Flag of the Republic, which was a Tricolor with a gold fleur-de-lis in the center. Iron Mask was probably the most powerful cape in France and the head of the Mousquetaires. A Stranger/Changer, Iron Mask was able to take on the appearance and powers of anyone he saw, including Vision Holders after a fairly recent second trigger. His copies were always flawed, both in appearance and in their powers, though that flaw could mean that his copy didn’t possess Manton limits the original did, making him even more powerful. Other times, the flaw impeded him, and it was near impossible to know ahead of time what it would be. 

“Ah, Mademoiselle Lustria, we were just looking for you,” the secretary said as she approached. “Your Vision, it is online already, yes?”

Sighing, Yennifer nodded. Charlotte had, of course, caught her Vision event live, and then promptly posted it. It had racked up over 100,000 views overnight, and might be reaching to become the first video to ever hit one million views. Fame wasn’t something Yennifer had ever sought, but she was the very first confirmed Hydro Vision holder, at least for now. And a parahuman to boot. 

“Yes, that’s why I came to report first thing in the morning. It seems we’ll need to update my paperwork,” Yennifer said. 

“Right this way, please, they’re waiting for you.”

Bracing herself, Yennifer followed the secretary, her heels clicking on the marble floors as she was led to a grand conference room. There, Iron Mask was meeting with various other members of the Mousquetaires, a few bureaucrats, and even the President. Yennifer did her best to put on her Lawyer Face, but even she was a bit intimidated to face this crowd. 

Or she would have been. 

These are the ones who would deny Justice to the people. Stand strong, Child of Law, and do not falter. 

The pulsing Vision at her neck affirmed to Yennifer that what she was doing was Just. That she was meant to be here, meant to defy presidents and cape leaders, and demand Justice, even if just for herself. This really was a hell of a drug. No wonder Charlotte was so damn stubborn. It was like she could hear God himself whispering in her ear and telling her that she had to keep fighting, as well as giving her the strength and courage of will to do so. 

“Captain Yennifer Lustria, of the Knights of Favonius,” she said, and on a whim, drew her sword from her Vision, and saluted with it, the flat of the blade facing towards Iron Mask, who was staring at her from behind his metal visage. “Reporting as requested.”

She left out the bit where she was retired, and very much never wished to see the battlefield ever again.

Unless it was to protect Furina. Or her sister, though that was a shocking afterthought. 

“Ah, Mademoiselle, we were just discussing your…unique situation,” Iron Mask said, and gestured to a seat at the table, which faced the assembled dignitaries. “Please, have a seat.”

Dismissing her sword, a gesture that felt shockingly natural, Yennifer seated herself with a ramrod straight back, placing her hands on the table before herself, fingers interlaced. She was the picture of professional poise and calm, which belied how hard her heart was pounding. What, exactly, did they want from her? 

“So, it is true then. That is a new kind of Vision,” President Mégret said, leaning forward across the table. “What can you tell us of this new Archon?”

“Focalors is the Angel of Justice,” Yennifer answered instantly. “She seeks to defend the innocent, punish the guilty, and establish Law in equality for all.”

There were mutters, some of them less than thrilled, which surprised Yennifer. Shouldn’t they be excited? She decided to add, “She is nothing like the Tsaritsa. Lord Barbados told me a little of her, and we can learn a little more from the lore in Genius Invocation. She was the Regina of All Waters, known for seeking to save her people from a cruel fate, and her love of the arts. She did not rule her homeland, but was more of a…mascot.”

“Mascot?” Iron Mask said, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” Yennifer admitted. “Only that she did not rule Fontantane. She left that to the Iudex, or Head Judge. Who that is…we don’t know. Where she is, we also do not know. Perhaps she will shortly reveal herself. Perhaps not.”

Perhaps she was currently living in Yennifer’s apartment, though she was increasingly certain that Furina really was telling the truth about her not being the Hydro Archon. It certainly hadn’t been Furina’s voice she had heard. 

“It was a year before we knew the location of Buer,” Iron Mask said with a nod. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. “But I think we are safe, gentlemen. I have also heard her called ‘Regina of All Waters’ in that silly children’s card game. France is not a nation known for its dominance over the waves. Perhaps Great Britain or Venice would be more appropriate. Or further afield in Oceania. An island nation, surely.”

“If she does turn up, we won’t make the mistake Saddam did,” President Mégret said, dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief. “Merde. Trying to control an Archon…it is madness. The best we could do is placate her. And hope she doesn’t topple the government like all the others have done.”

“Barbados didn’t,” Yennifer pointed out, but that earned her sour looks.

“He destroyed the LSA and the Gesellschaft so completely, not to mention his interference in German courts and his takedowns of politicians he doesn’t like. He might not have seized direct control, but make no mistake: Barbados controls Central Europe now, and we’ve had to work hard to combat his influence here,” Iron Mask said with a sneer at Yennifer. 

“I hardly think taking out fascists and homophobes is a problem,” Yennifer said stiffly. 

“That’s right, she’s a dyke,” someone muttered. Yennifer froze and felt rage boil up inside of her. Of course. 

“Pierre, shut the fuck up,” Iron Mask growled, glaring at the man who had spoken. “I’ve tolerated your particular brand of trash long enough. Pack your bags. You’re fired.”

“What!? But I-”

“I don’t care what you’ve done for us in the past, I’ve told you all before those views are as rank as five day old shit and staler too. Now get out,” Iron Mask said, his tone low and menacing.

The red-faced bureaucrat rose and stiffly walked away, leaving out a side door. That surprised Yennifer. Was this performance for her? 

“We’ve been pruning certain…reactionary elements in the government,” Iron Mask said, and he actually sounded apologetic. “I confess, my own views have not always been so…progressive. But we can see the way the winds are blowing, if nothing else.”

Ah. Political expediency. Well, it wasn’t full acceptance, but it was a start. The use of the turn of phrase regarding the wind was well put, as Barbados had made it abundantly clear that those who failed to respect gay rights would face his hurricane. 

Though Yennifer had to admit, they had a point about Barbados. While he wasn’t the direct head of state like Beezelbul or Dantalion, or even in a prominent advisory role like Buer, he was still pulling a lot of strings behind the scenes. Or, well, he had been, until he and the Tsaritsa both fought each other into a coma. 

“Thank you, Monsieur Mask. I confess, that is a pleasant surprise from this government.”

Iron Mask grunted. “The Archons change things. Focalors will change things. Let us simply hope she does not decide to change France.”

“Anything else you will require of me?” Yennifer asked. 

“We would like a better understanding of your abilities,” President Mégret said, leaning forward. “Just what can Hydro Vision Holders do?”

“A good question. I would be grateful to use your training facilities in order to find that out. Other Vision Holders would be helpful, so we could determine what sort of Elemental Reactions are available to us,” Yennifer said. She hadn’t really looked into Elemental Reactions before, but she knew that Dendro reacted with Electro, but not Cryo or Anemo, while the other three all reacted with each other. So far, Electro was considered the most advantageous element to possess in combat, as it reacted with all the others. 

Out of combat, it was up in the air between Electro and Dendro. There was just so much that could be done with magical electricity, and the healing abilities of Dendro users, along with their ability to fertilize vast acres of crops was incredible. 

It would be some time before Yennifer and the world realized that Hydro was by far the most powerful and reactive element out of all seven, able to adapt and react with every other element, and the driver behind the most powerful elemental reactions. Hyperbloom alone would revolutionize multiple industries, and that did not even begin to get into the more mystical precognitive properties that Hydro possessed that surpassed even the Dreams of Dendro. 

“Excellent, we will schedule you for training sessions.”

“Of course, though I won’t let it interfere with my work as a Defense Attorney. As you are probably well aware, I have several pending cases for clients who are facing charges from the state, some of them quite serious,” Yennifer said.

Iron Mask’s eyes flashed, but he nodded. “Of course. Though I do hope you will see things our way.”

“That is irrelevant. Everyone needs an advocate in the court, and my job is to defend Parahumans and Vision Holders alike, so that they may receive true Justice.”

“Hmph. Very well. As long as you cooperate. Thank you, Mademoiselle Lustria.”

“Captain.” 

Iron Mask paused, and Yennifer emphasized, “It’s Captain Lustria. I’m no girl.”

The cape leader tilted his head to one side and nodded. “I see. Thank you, Captain. We will speak again.”

Yennifer left with her head held high, and back straight. It would be good to get some experience with her new Vision. Somehow, she had a feeling that Furina would need protecting in the future. And, well, Yennifer got the sense that Furina wasn’t exactly a fighter. Not that she lacked courage or determination, and in a courtroom she would likely be formidable, but Furina didn’t seem to know the first thing about fighting. Yennifer had learned the lessons she had at a brutal school, but she was determined to become an even better defender. Both with the law, and with the sword. 

Somewhere, just beyond sight, Focalors smiled. Yes, this was going extremely well. All according to plan. 

Unfortunately for Focalors, she had forgotten two things. No one, not even her, could read their own fate. 

And five hundred years of isolation had made her extremely bad at interpersonal relationships. Or interpreting them. 

PHILO: I would just like to note that Focalors is a genius. Sure, she can’t have Furina be the first Hydro Vision user, but aggressively NOT!Dating the first Hydro Vision user allows her to have the drama and tension. How romantic that the first Hydro Vision sleeps with and guards the Archon of Hydro. Fulfills that neat intersection of secrecy and dramatic irony. It’s such…. such…

Sasuga, Focalor-ssama. Sasuga

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 5

Entry 9: Day 25

Well, I’m not at Rhodes Island yet, but I’m also no longer in an absolute dystopian hellhole. Just a mostly dystopian hellhole. 

While we did manage to fly for several hours out of Ursus, we were in pretty bad shape, and Croissant made the call to land us at the nearest safe port of call. Namely, Lungmen. 

“Lungmen control, this is Papa Bird, requesting permission for an emergency landing,” Sora said from the co-pilot’s chair as Croissant battled the flagging VTOLs controls. “We are bingo fuel and down to one effective engine.”

“We read you, Papa Bird. Stand by for further instructions.” 

We waited for a minute, the ship shuddering and rattling around us. 

“Papa Bird, you are directed to land outside the city. Sending you coordinates now. We have a team on standby to pick you up.”

“Roger, Control. Receiving coordinates,” Sora said, then turned her head. “Uh, boss?”

“Shit. That crusty old man caught wind of something. Do as they say, we’ll figure it out,” Emperor said, shaking his head. He turned to Gavial, who had a grim expression on her face. “Hey, don’t sweat it. Penguin Logistics always delivers the goods, and I ain’t markin’ this one done ‘til I drop you off in the Old Hag’s hands.”

“We going in hot, boss?” Exusiai said, reaching for a magazine to load into her guns. 

“Be ready to go loud, but don’t do nothin’ less I say so. Fuck. Last thing I need is a real beef with that crusty old dragon. Shit, this’s where my crib is! He better not lay a finger on my tunes, or Lil’ Homie gonna pop a cap in his scaly ass.”

 “My dad is gonna kill me,” Bison groaned, reaching for his helmet and slamming it down on his head. 

“Oh don’t you worry ‘bout that, boo! We’ll jess tell him we was on a hot date!” Croissant called from the front. 

“We already used that excuse last time. I don’t think he’ll buy it,” Bison told her, his voice echoing slightly in the gas mask. 

Texas stubbed out her latest cig. She and Svetla Yastrebov, that was liberi mom’s name I’d found out, had gone through an entire pack between them, and the whole ship stank of tobacco. I would have complained more about second-hand smoke if I wasn’t pretty sure that was the least of my problems right now, though I did worry about the kids. Speaking of…

“Hey should we screen the kids and their mom for oripathy when we land?” I asked Sussurro and Gavial quietly as they readied themselves for combat. 

Gavial nodded, frowning at me. “Guess you really ain’t from around here, McCoy. That’s standard procedure for everyone whenever they see combat. All that originium being thrown around? Definitely need a screening.”

“Screening immediately after action, and then another after 72 hours to measure the difference,” Sussurro agreed. She gave me a sad smile. “Is it like that where you’re from? I could never get a straight answer from…the others.”

“I mean, maybe for tetanus, but there’s no analogue for oripathy. It’s like the worst cross between HIV/AIDs and especially aggressive cancer, mixed with a zombie plague. I’m not an expert, though, I was a neurology major and only just finished medical school. Combat was the furthest thing from my mind.”

“Your home sounds wonderful,” Sussurro sighed. 

“And boring,” Gavial added with a wink. 

“Stay sharp, but weapons down,” Texas said to the team as we came in for a landing. 

“Hey, I’m in charge, Shorty,” Emperor said, which was pretty funny because while Texas wasn’t what I would call tall, Emperor only came up to her chest, even with his hat on. 

“Sure, boss,” Texas said, though she didn’t seem terribly impressed. 

“You kids stay behind me, OK?” Bison told the civis. “You too, Dr. McCoy.”

Oh joy. I was lumped in with the women and children. Well, to be honest, most of the women here could completely kick my ass, and I wasn’t sure how tough Sora or Svetla were. Shit, the damn five year old might be able to take me. Terrans are built different. 

The landing was a bit bumpy, and Penguin Logistics stormed out, Croissant leaping out of her seat to grab her weapons and shield so she could bring up the rear, hovering over me like my guardian angel. Though the angel was on point with Texas. Actually, this band of what I had thought of as goofballs was really scary. Even Emperor, who despite still wearing his street clothes, managed to be the most intimidating of the lot. 

Waiting for us were two rows of armed and armored police with Chinese, or I guess Yanese, characters on their shields. At their head was an absolute giant of a woman with green hair and a single horn poking out of her forehead. She wasn’t wearing a helmet, but she did have a massive hunk of steel in her off hand and a serious expression on her face. That had to be Hoshiguma, one of the toughest Operators in Arknights, a feat in-game which her appearance backed up.

Next to her was a much shorter woman, though I’d later see that Ch’en was of average height. Even I look a bit short next to Hoshiguma. Ch’en had a sheathed sword at her side, and sunglasses on her face to block out the morning glare. Her tail was lashing back and forth, which I guess showed irritation.

“Sup. Didn’t think the LGD would roll out the red carpet for us,” Emperor said. Interestingly, I picked up he wasn’t speaking English, or even Bear Russian. Now that I double checked, I could read those Chinese characters. Huh. Babel Fish kicking in again? 

“You caused quite the disturbance, Penguin Logistics,” Ch’en said, removing her sunglasses and frowning down at the penguin gangster. “We’ve had several rather harsh missives from Ursus, and the ambassador is demanding that Lungmen turn you all over to them.”

“Nah, dawg. We were just out for a joy ride. Ask my girls! Shit, we just picked up a few hitch hikers,” Emperor said, pointing his flipper over his shoulder towards the rest of us.

“Is that so?” Ch’en said, nonplussed.

Before things could proceed further, Gavial suddenly stepped forward. “Well, well, well! If it isn’t the weakling! Looking for a rematch, lightweight?”

Hoshiguma, who had been looking grim and imposing next to Ch’en, broke into a broad grin and stepped forward. “What is that? I think I heard something, but it was from so far down, I can barely make it out!” 

The two titans clashed, and I swear, they did the Arnold and Carl manly handshake thing, even if Hoshiguma overtopped Gavial by a head. 

“Gavial, you scaly scoundrel! They sent you on this one?” 

“Haha, you know it you overgrown ogre! When are you getting back to Rhodes Island? It's been too long since we had some fun together!” 

“Ah, you know, work keeps me busy, and…” Hoshiguma trailed off. Ch’en was tapping her foot and glaring up at her partner, while the rest of the guard was shifting and coughing with what I figured was suppressed laughter. 

Hoshi instantly straightened up. “Ahem! You’re all in a lot of trouble!” 

“Oh, give it up, you’ve already ruined it,” Ch’en muttered. She sighed. “Look. This is all a mess. I’m going to have to arrest you all and take you in.”

“Mmm, I don’t know about that,” Exusiai said, lifting one of her guns. The guards instantly snapped to attention, raising their shields. “It sounds like fun and all, but we got a delivery, see, and Penguin Logistics has a reputation to maintain! Maybe some other time, Miss Ch’en!” 

Texas just there with arms folded, sizing Ch’en up. Now that would be an epic sword duel. I’m not sure who would win; I think Arknights operator power levels probably aren’t super indicative of actual combat ability, but the lore I did know had it that Ch’en was some super awesome swordsmaster too.

“Hold up, girls,” Emperor ordered, and Exusiai lowered her gun. He turned to Ch’en. “What’s the old man’s play?”

“Bluntly? Mitigate damage. Then tell Ursus to puk gaai. But this is a conversation we need to have in private. Consider this protective custody.”

“A’ight. But ya ain’t takin’ Lil’ Homie, or the girls' stuff. Exu especially is real attached to her guns.”

“I am well aware of Sankta spiritual customs. And no, you will not be relieved of your weapons. But you will be coming with me to see Uncle Wei.”

Emperor considered that, then nodded. “‘Kay, but you need to take care of these kids. I ain’t haulin’ around no brats.”

“We’ll see to your passengers' comfort and care,” Ch’en agreed. But she pointed at me. “That one comes with us, however. And the Rhodes Islanders.”

“Right. Texas, Exu, y’all commin’ with me. Sora, Croissant, boy, you take care of the others,” Emperor ordered.

“Hey! My boo gots a name, bawss!” Croissant protested. 

“Yeah, I just don’t feel like usin’ it. Go tell your old man you just saved the world, boy. Might not even be a lie this time,” Emperor said, then waddled towards one of the vans waiting nearby. 

I fell in with Sussurro and Gavial as we approached the vans, dropping my voice to whisper, “OK, how screwed are we?”

“Depends on what kind of games Old Man Wei wants to play,” Gavial said, her tone no longer so cheery. “If Ursus is putting heavy pressure on him…it could get real bad. I ain’t so read up on geopolitics, but to call the relationship between Ursus and Yan tense is a bit of an understatement.”

“It’s been especially bad since Chernobog. Ah, you wouldn’t know about that,” Sussurro said, grimacing. 

“You mean the part where Reunion hijacked a landship and decided to use it to go ramming speed on Lungmen?” I asked. “There’s some things about this world I do know, that’s one of them.”

“You’re gonna have to tell us where you get this weird alien knowledge. But later. For now, you’re back to being an Aegir, understand? I’m not too sure how much the Yanese know about R6 and all that, but the less the better,” Gavial told us.

“Let’s just hope Chief Wei values his relationship with Rhodes Island more than he does the one with Ursus,” Sussurro said. 

We climbed into the van, and drove away from the pad. In the distance, I could see a city skyline. At first, I thought it was up on top of a hill. Then, the full magnitude of what I was seeing slowly revealed itself. Lungmen was a massive city, with a population that had to be into the tens of millions. That was sprawled out over miles and miles of cityscape.

And it was moving. The entire damn thing…was moving. 

Great tracked plates, so vast that they stretched for miles on end, were slowly making their way across the dusty terrain. It wasn’t moving fast, that’s for sure, the normal speed of Lungmen is less than a slow walk, really. Later I’d find out they usually move at about 2 kph, though they can kick it all the way up to around 25 kph if there is a Catastrophe coming. 

Still, even at that slow pace…it was absolutely incredible to see this entire massive city moving.

“How…how do they do that?” I whispered, my face glued to the window. 

“Pretty cool, huh? I always like looking at a new nomadic city when I travel as a messenger, but Lungmen is the second most impressive!” Exusiai said brightly. 

“What, is the most impressive the Vatican?” I said, then kicked myself. The Sussurro helpfully actually kicked me. 

“Hmm, never heard of it! But, biased I may be, but Laterano is the most impressive to me, and one of the oldest! To see it traveling across the mountains of my homeland,” Exusiai said, and sighed. “Sometimes, I miss my big sis and my friends back home.”

Texas grunted, and Exusiai wrapped an arm around her. “Don’t worry, Texas! I love my new home with you and my buddies! Though honestly, I miss Laterano Apple Pie!” 

“We’ll make you some when we get home,” Texas said quietly, and Exusiai grinned. 

“That’s why you’re my bestest bud, Texas! Ooo, we should get some for Sussurro and Gavial too! Oh, and you too, Dr. McCoy! You can’t say that Penguin Logistics doesn’t treat its packages right!” 

“Now ain’t the time. Y’all are still on the clock,” Emperor growled. “And watch what you say. Walls got ears.” 

Exusiai mimed zipping her mouth shut, then happily hummed to herself. I kept gazing out the window. It was all starting to sink in. I really wasn’t in Kansas anymore. And there were no ruby slippers I could click to get back home. 

Not that I’ve ever been to Kansas. I hear there’s a lot of corn and soybeans. 

To get up to the city, we entered into a massive elevator that fit the four cars in our convoy. The whole thing was over 200 yards tall, something like 20 stories. And then on TOP of that, there were skyscrapers that wouldn’t have looked out of place in any city I’ve ever been to. 

“How the hell do they engineer this?” I muttered to myself, scrubbing at my forehead. 

“With great patience and effort, Dr. McCoy,” Ch’en’s voice said through the speaker. I winced, and Sussurro kicked me again. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. 

We drove until we came to perhaps not the tallest building, but definitely one of the fanciest. There were more LGD guards waiting for us, and we were escorted inside. 

“I don’t suppose we’ll have a chance to freshen up first?” I remarked to Ch’en as we walked through the opulent reception room. Not a soul in sight aside from LGD. “Got a bit of blood on these clothes.”

“You will be given a chance to clean up later. This cannot wait,” Ch’en said. “My uncle will understand.”

We took another elevator up to the top floor, and then were led out into what was an extremely fancy old-style Chinese manor, basically. It looked a lot like it had in the games and anime. Though my memory was fuzzy on some things, I do know that Wei Yenwu was some sort of nobility, not to mention known as a canny old negotiator who could be absolutely ruthless when the time called for it. 

I hoped that didn’t extend to dissecting me in a lab somewhere.

We were led to a sitting room, where two very colorful dragon people were waiting for us. Both Wei Yenwu and his wife Fumizuki were more on the bestial side of things. Both had prominent horns, Wei’s looking like deer antlers, while his wife’s was more of a Chinese unicorn deal. What were they called, kirin? Qilin? One or the other. The two werered, and pink, and dressed in lavish clothes. Scarlet silk robes for Wei, an orange and black kimono for his wife. Wait, was she Japanese or something? I honestly forgot, slash just didn’t know. I guess Fumizuki sounded more Japanese? Eesh, I should have read more. 

“Ah, Ch’en, thank you. Officer Hoshiguma, you are dismissed,” Wei said.

Hoshiguma bowed and left with the rest of the LGD guards, while Wei took a long pull on his pipe before blowing smoke out, studying us. Well, mostly me.

Emperor waddled forward and, without being told, flopped up onto the black leather couch. “Alright you scaly old coot. This here’s my goods, and I got a contract to deliver ‘em. So you had better believe I’m billing you for holding up my shipment.”

“Consider this…a customs inspection, you stuffy old bird,” Wei said, a faint smile of amusement on his lips. 

“Uh-huh. Girls, you go chill with tall, dark, and oni. We got some things to discuss you don’t need to bother yourselves with,” Emperor said, waving his flipper towards the door. 

“Sure thing, boss,” Exusiai said, and turned to go.

Texas waited a moment, regarding Emperor. “Boss. Call if you need us.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t sweat it, sweet thing. Some things you’re better off not knowin’.”

Texas nodded, then bowed to Wei. “Chief.”

He inclined his head slightly towards her, and Texas walked off with Exu.

“Dr. Gavial. Dr. Sussurro. I am familiar with the two of you. I have read several of your reports on the treatment of the infected, Dr. Sussurro. For one so young, your insight is impressive,” Wei said with a nod to my diminutive companion. 

Sussurro blushed and bowed. “Thank you, sir.”

“And it seems you have discovered something truly remarkable this time,” Wei continued, making Sussurro stiffen halfway into her bow. “An alien. Who, it is said, can cure oripathy.”

Ch’en sucked in a sudden sharp breath, her eyes going wide. “Uncle?!” 

“Sit, Ch’en,” Fumizuki said, patting the couch beside her. “You need not stand at attention.”

Slowly, Ch’en did sit, though her eyes were locked on me now. 

I coughed. “You know, uh, I think maybe tales of my exploits are greatly exaggerated…”

“Hmm. We will see.” Wei drew a tablet from his robes and tapped at it. “Dr. Yun. Your report?”

“Initial screening has been completed,” a somewhat thin and reedy man’s voice said. Sounded like some sort of senior attending. “I’m worried about the Liberi woman, we’re going to need to put her on close watch. She’s lost her husband and her home. The children will need a great deal of counseling as well, especially-”

“Infection status, Dr. Yun. That is what concerns me. You can see to the other matters under your own authority,” Wei interrupted. 

“Oh, yes, sorry.The boy, yes? Well, Andrey Ivanovich. Ursus, male, aged 10. Very polite child, for all the trauma. No signs of oripathy, but I would like to follow up, as any time you’re involved in combat without protective gear, there is a risk.”

“Thank you, doctor. That will be all for now. I expect a full report,” Wei said, and cut the connection. He met my eyes, which was kinda eerie since he had yellow sclera and red irises. And I don’t mean he looked jaundiced, I mean his eyeballs were actually yellow. 

“Well, I’m glad to hear Andrey’s healthy,” I said brightly. 

“How interesting. When the report I received from Shiraziberg indicated that Andrey Ivanovich was infected. As confirmed by one Dr. Kuznetsova. Her report indicates a Stage 2 Acute Oripathy infection.”

“Uh, she was a Lungmen agent?” I said, sweat breaking out on my forehead. 

“You don’t need to know who my agents are, Dr. McCoy,” Wei said, leaning forward. “Only that it is a fair bet that I have a more complete picture of what took place in Shiraziberg than you do.”

“So you got a report the kid was infected. Maybe this Dr. Kuznetsova made a mistake. Happens,” Gavial said with a shrug. “I’ve screwed up diagnosis reports before. That’s why you take a second set of labs when making a serious call.”

“It was enough that the Emperor’s Blades took a direct interest. So much so that one attempted to hunt your party down,” Wei said, taking a pull on his pipe. 

His wife nodded. “Ambassador Chekarev was screaming at us not ten minutes after Penguin Logistics was spotted in Shiraziberg, to hand over the escaped criminals immediately. To the point that he even implied Ursus might declare war to get them back.”

Oh, shit. That was bad news. 

“I sent a message to the Tsar, but I have yet to receive a reply,” Wei said, steepling his fingers in front of himself. “So. That leaves the matter of what to do with you, Dr. McCoy. Can you, in fact, cure oripathy?”

I looked helplessly to Sussurro and Gavial, who themselves exchanged glances. 

“Inana ipilkoneuaj, Lucia, I’m out of my depth,” Gavial muttered. “I ain’t cut out for this diplomacy shit.”

Sussurro inhaled through her nose, then met Wei’s measuring gaze. “We don’t know, Chief Wei. It’s something I need to discuss with Director Kal’tsit and Chief Medical Officer Warfarin. The sample size is too small. But…this is something Rhodes Island views as the highest priority. I take it you’ve been in contact with the Director?”

“As well as the Doctor, and Chief Executive Officer Amiya. They are…rather invested in the safe return of your team,” Wei said.

“A’ight, I’ve heard enough,” Emperor said, slapping the arm of the couch with his flipper. “Wei, shut the fuck up and listen.”

Ch’en sat up straight, a snarl on her lips. “You DARE to-”

“Ch’en. Be silent,” Wei said, raising a hand, and she piped down right away. “Speak, Sovereign of Beasts.”

“You and I both know what this means,” Emperor said, taking off his sunglasses and glaring at Wei. “I been in this game longer than you, but we both know that you’re a high-class player. And what this kid brings to the table…it’s something people are gonna be goin’ all in on. So cut the bullshit. You and me both know the best place for him, and I do mean the absolute best place, is Rhodes Island. I seen the Oracle. They’re a changed person, but even if that motherfucker were the same cold fish back in the bad old days, Doc would STILL be the number one individual to entrust this to. The Ghost ain’t fuckin’ around no more. So you gotta decide what side you are on, Wei. You on the side that’s gonna try and fix this fucked up world, or you on the same side as those abominations up in Ursus who just want to devour it. Because straight up, I already picked my side. And I think you know what it is.”

“And what of the Immutable Ancient? She has a hand to play in this,” Wei said, his eyes hooded. 

“Ain’t nobody on this planet that knows what’s going on behind the Witch’s eyes. But this I do know: She’s about as invested in making sure this shit hole of a world thrives and prospers as anyone. I sure as hell don’t agree with her methods all the time. But shit, Wei. If we gotta trust someone with the best damn hope Terra has had since I was hatched, and let me tell you that was a long ass time ago, then fuck it. Give ‘em to Rhodes Island.”

Wei considered that for a moment, then turned to his wife. “And what say you, my heart?”

“While I do not agree with the crassness of the Emperor of Music, his reasons are sound. Consider this, husband: which group has the most advanced methods of treatment of oripathy? Where have we sent our niece for treatment? It is Rhodes Island. They have proven themselves honorable, and their hearts are to heal the sick. So, perhaps, they can be trusted with this burden. Even more than we ourselves.”

“I see. Ch’en?”

Ch’en blinked, breaking her gaze with me. “Uncle?”

“Say this man can indeed cure oripathy. What would you do with him?” Wei said, gesturing to me. 

“He…would be a great asset for Lungmen. And for Great Yan,” Ch’en said slowly. 

“Of that, there can be no doubt. To such a degree that I am willing to go to war with Ursus, and defy even my own Imperial Brother in retaining him here. For one thing…he could cure you, my niece,” Wei said, and he sounded…weary. Exhausted. Like he was carrying a great burden, and just wanted to set it down for a few minutes. Something I suppose I couldn’t blame him for. 

“What?! Uncle, no!” Ch’en said instantly. “My own health cannot begin to enter into this equation! For one thing, my case is mild, and thanks to my treatment at Rhodes Island, I am likely to live a long and full life, even as an infected!” 

“No more than a span of eighty years. When a Lung such as yourself should easily see her second century. I am already ninety-eight, Ch’en. And you twenty-seven. Another fifty years…I would be only middle-aged, as our race reckons things,” Wei said, then took a long pull on his pipe.

“And what of the countless citizens who are infected, whose cases are much more severe!? Are their lives not just as valuable as mine!? Should they not be the first to be cured by this man?!” Ch’en demanded. 

“Might I speak?” Sussurro said, raising a hand. 

Wei pointed his pipe at her and continued puffing, and she took a deep breath. “First of all…you make a great many assumptions. We don’t know for certain if Dr. McCoy can cure oripathy. For another…his method of treatment…at this time it would not be easily reproducible. Nor…sustainable.”

“Eyo. What you mean by that?” Emperor said, frowning at us, somehow. Despite the fact that he had a beak. 

“He has used his ability twice, to the best of my knowledge,” Sussurro said, and I nodded in agreement, but for once shut the hell up and let her continue. “The first time…he contracted oripathy in the process. Stage 2.” 

Chief Wei paused in sucking on his pipe, whie Fumizuki’s eyes narrowed. Emperor growled something in what sounded like German, “Steck dir dein Geweih in den Arsch.”

A bird of many talents, truly. 

“The second time exacerbated the condition, even though he did not fully cure the oripathy, and the original infection was much less severe,” Sussurro said. She took a deep breath. “We…we may have only one, or perhaps two, chances to see him demonstrate this ability. We could learn a great deal from it. Or…perhaps we will find a way for him to use it more. Either way, I am going to have to keep a close eye on Dr. McCoy, or he’s going to find a way to locate a sick child and attempt to cure them at the cost of his own life.”

“I mean, I didn’t know I was gonna give myself oripathy when I cured Andrey,” I muttered. 

“That’s not what you told me,” Sussurro said. “Nor does that align with what I saw, James. You were sucking the crystals out of his body and into your own. You knew what that meant, didn’t you?”

“I…yeah. I’d studied oripathy enough to know that kind of contact would give it to me. And I knew that…well…it’s universally terminal,” I admitted. “So, OK, I had a strong suspicion that it would give it to me. But Christ’s sake, Lucia, the kid was dying right in front of me and in horrific pain! What the fuck was I supposed to do, let him die!?”

“I didn’t say that. What you did was incredibly brave. But look me in the eye and tell me that if you came across another child in the same condition, you wouldn’t immediately try to cure them, even if it would certainly kill you,” Sussurro said, glaring up at me, her ears standing stiff and straight, tail bristling behind her.

“Who the hell said it would have to be a kid!? Look, I already got three people killed, at a bare minimum! So by my math, I just need to save, I dunno, three more? Then I’ll have at least balanced the scales!” 

“And if you stay alive and we can study your ability, what if we could save a million lives? Ten million! A YEAR, James! That’s what curing oripathy would do! I get having a martyr complex, Santi e angeli, I have one too! But you do NOT get to kill yourself on my watch just to satisfy yours!” 

“I- yeah, well, maybe you’re right. But…shit. I can’t…” Tears filled my eyes, and I couldn’t even see. “What would you do, Lucia? What would you do if you had the power to save someone’s life…and you withheld it.”

“I’d have a hard time sleeping at night,” she said, and I felt her hand on my shoulder. “But that’s what makes you a good doctor, James. Wanting to save those lives.”

“Alright. I just…shit.” Someone handed me a tissue, and I wiped at my eyes and blew my nose. “Sorry. Anyway, look. If you honestly think you have a better shot than Rhodes Island at helping me save as many lives as possible, Chief Wei…I’ll do whatever I can. Not for you, not for Yan, but for all those people in your city who could be saved if, somehow, a cure could be developed from whatever it is I do. I’d do it for HER,” I said, pointing to Ch’en. “And my friends,” I pointed to Gavial and Sussurro. “Not for you.”

Wei was just sitting there. Puffing on his pipe. After a few long seconds, he stood, going over to a window, where he gazed out at the city below him. Fumizuki went to stand beside him, and he put his arm around her as she leaned her head on his shoulder. Staring at them felt…well, like a Peeping Tom, so, I turned my gaze over to Ch’en, who was looking rather gobsmacked. 

“So, uh, weird question…but, um, do you have a Super Soaker?” I asked her. 

She blinked at me. “That is…a very odd question. What is a…super soaker?”

“He’s probably talking about that weird ass gun you hauled back from Dossoles,” Gavial said. “Also, what the fuck, Ch’en? I thought you joined Rhodes Island and left these clowns behind.”

Ch’en flushed and looked to the side. “Sometimes…one’s loyalties to family cannot be overlooked. I am no longer in command of the Special Operations Unit…but I was in town visiting. When Uncle Wei called me…it was too easy to fall into old habits.”

Wei came back over, his pipe between his lips, Fumizuki at his side. “Ch’en. I leave this decision to you.”

“Uncle! You…you know I am now employed by Rhodes Island. My loyalty would be towards them…”

“And as you have already demonstrated, even though you have left the LGD, your loyalty is still ultimately towards Lungmen. So. You choose. What would be the best path forward for Lungmen?”

Ch’en gritted her teeth, closing her eyes for a moment. Then she schooled her expression and stood up. “Then I will escort Dr. McCoy to Rhodes Island. Ultimately, the best way to help the people of Lungmen would be to find a cure, or at least a better treatment, for oripathy. If he can help do that…then that would be of great service to Lungmen. And humanity as a whole.”

Wei nodded. He glanced at Emperor. “Well?”

“Ya done good, kid,” Emperor said, hopping off the couch. He clapped his flippers. “Yo, Texas!”

The door smashed open and a blur of motion swept in, swords out, Ch’en had her sword out in flash, raising to parry the lupo’s blow. 

“Hold it! Fuck, woman! I call you in here and you act like I was telling you to kill everyone? Take a damn chill pill!” Emperor squawked. 

Texas froze, blade mere inches from Ch’en’s. Then, she smoothly stepped back and sheathed her sword. Exusiai had similarly flown through the door, though on seeing Texas standing down, she breathed out a sigh of relief and let her gun hang from its strap. 

“Oh good, we get to still be friends!” Exusiai said brightly. “What do, boss?”

“I’m putting you two on extended assignment,” Emperor said, and pointed at me. “You got one job from now until I say otherwise: Keep this motherfucker alive. All other contracts, responsibilities, and trips are canceled. And I’ll pay you double overtime for the rest of your natural lives if I have to, so long as you keep one Dr. James McCoy from biting it.”

“With an exception for not interfering with my medical judgement,” I hastily added. 

Emperor shot me a look, then pointed not at me, but at Sussurro. “With an exception for HER medical judgement. Not this idiot’s.”

Texas eyed me up and down, one eyebrow up, while Exusiai’s jaw had dropped. “B-boss!? Are you…you’re serious!?”

“As a heart attack. You got a problem with that?”

Exusiai glanced at Texas, who had her arms folded, and was tapping her fingers on her elbow. “Uh, Texas?”

“Why?” Texas said.

“Bitch, because I TOLD you to do it, that’s why!” Emperor snapped.

“Uh, boss man…if you’re going to give me bodyguards…wouldn’t they do their jobs better if they knew why I was suddenly a VIP instead of, you know, Joe Schmoe?” I said.

Emperor frowned up at me. “Boy, some things is need to know. And what you can do is so need to know, I wish I didn’t fucking know. Shit, I wish nobody but you, shawty here, and maybe Miss Health and Wellness Visit knew.”

“I mean, I’m ass at keeping secrets. I’ll probably end up telling them anyway,” I pointed out.

Ch’en sighed. “He can cure oripathy, Texas.”

Texas nodded, as if that simply made sense. Exusiai, for once, was at a complete loss for words. She gestured at me, then at Ch’en, then threw her hands up and flopped backwards, though her wings made her hover a few inches off the ground instead of just hitting the floor. 

Just then, Hosiguma stuck her head in. “Chief? Everything good in here?”

“We are fine, Officer Hoshiguma. Take our guests somewhere to freshen up. Give Texas and Exusiai quarters adjoining the Rhode Islanders. Ch’en, you will return to Rhodes Island with the good doctors here,” Wei said. 

“Of course, Uncle. Come, Hoshi. We’ll see to arranging lodgings. I take it they are to stay in this tower?”

“They will depart from the rooftop pad directly on my personal craft tomorrow. We will see to it that our best pilot takes them to Rhodes Island. The landship is still in the vicinity of Victoria?” Wei asked. 

“That’s classified,” Gavial said.

“Ah. So then I should instruct my pilots to make for 51.5°N, 1.7°E? Or will it have moved by then?” Wei said dryly.

“Uncle. Stop showing off,” Ch’en said with a roll of her eyes. “We will give instructions to the pilots. Though we could not fly directly to Rhodes Island from here.”

“Stopping in Siracusa would be…unwise,” Sussurro said with a grimace. “We were attacked by a famiglia in Shiraziberg.”

Texas suddenly stiffened, her tail bristling. “Oh?” 

“Yes, thanks to the little…event…from last year,” Sussurro said. “Don’t blame yourself.” 

Texas’ eyes narrowed. “I see.”

“Well, at least bodyguarding you won’t be boring,” Exusiai muttered as Gavial gave her a hand back to her feet. She frowned at me. “Pardon my Gaulish, but what the fuck, man?” 

“You know, I’ve felt the same way ever since Truck-kun dropped me off here,” I said with a heavy sigh. 

Exusiai gave me a baffled look. “Truck-kun?”

Fumizuki, however, had snorted and covered her mouth with her hand. Oh? Did I sense a fellow weeb? Not that I was really able to keep up with new releases, but one of my dirty secrets was just how much anime I watched in high school and my undergrad. 

“It’s a reference to Higashi animated shows, specifically the portal fantasy genre they call isekai,” Texas said in a complete deadpan. “Characters who are sent to another world often die in a vehicular accident, which fans label as ‘truck-kun.’ Were you involved in a vehicular homicide, Dr. McCoy?”

I had to do a double-take on Texas, and I was not the only one. 

“Texas, what the fuck?” Emperor sputtered. 

She shrugged. “Sora likes to watch them. I prefer the isekai over idol anime, so we often alternate.”

“Damn, how many of my employees are hooking up, and I didn’t even know?” Emperor sighed. “Whatever. Kid, you stink. Go get washed up. Texas, Exusiai, go grab your shit and get ready to roll in the morning. I assume the LGD is competent enough to keep their crib secure for a few hours.”

As we left, Exusiai was pounding Texas on the arm. “You and Sora hooked up, and neither of you TOLD me?!” 

“She is not allowed to have romantic partners due to her contract. We felt it prudent to keep it quiet.”

“But I’m your BESTEST BUD! You could have told me!”

“I assumed you would have figured it out after the second time she slept over at my apartment.”

“I mean, I sleep over at your apartment, too.”

“Exusiai. You pass out on my couch. Sora was in my bedroom. Wearing my clothes.”

“...shut up, Texas. Also, congrats! Ooooo, I need to tell Croissant about this! She’s going to be thrilled!”

“Hence my previous silence on the matter.”

“Thank God there’s anime here too,” I sighed as we got into the elevator. I turned to Texas. “Any recommendations? I, uh, I’m a little-”

“You’re from Earth, like Ash,” Texas interrupted. 

I blinked at her. “Uh, how…?”

“The way you walk. Your accent. The way you refer to things,” Texas shrugged slightly. “It was obvious.”

“Wait, what’s obvious? Is he like, on Rhodes Island’s black ops team like Ash?” Exusiai asked. 

A slow grin spread over Gavial’s face. “Hey, Exu. What race is Ash?”

“Uh, feline, duh. Have you not seen her ears?” Exusiai said, making little ones with her fingers. “I feel bad about her tail, though, but that’s sensitive, so I don’t ask. I can tell hers is a prosthetic, she forgets to wear it- Texas, why are you laughing!?”

“Tell you later,” Texas said, chuckling softly. She nodded to me when my floor came up as indicated by Ch’en. “Be seeing you.”

Ch’en showed us to rooms, which were rather opulent. “You can each have your own, or share, as you prefer.”

“My own would be lovely,” Sussurro said, looking grateful. “Thank you. It’s been forever since I had a shower, Ch’en.”

“Eh, I’m easy. You wanna bunk up together, Ch’en?” Gavial asked. “We can go over tactics after I hose off.”

“That is acceptable. I will need to locate an acceptable stopover point to refuel on our journey, and I would like your input,” Ch’en said with a nod. 

They both went into a larger room together, and I put my hand on my door. Before I could open it, Sussurro put her hand on mine. “Were you, James?”

“Was I what?” I asked, confused. 

She gave me a sympathetic look. “Were you…killed?”

I felt a lump in my throat. I had to swallow before I could talk. “I…I’m not sure. Maybe. I just…I can’t think about it, right now. If I did…I’d probably shut down completely.”

“Alright. If you need to talk…”

“Thanks. I…yeah. Later. For now…I think I’m about to pass out on my feet,” I said with a tired smile.

She nodded, then stepped over to her own room door. “Good night, James.”

“Night, Lucia.”

Once inside, I stripped, then stepped under a hot shower, which had that cool pressure thingy. I turned it up to a thumping pulse, and stood under it. Then I just sat down, leaning back, letting the water wash over me. 

“Fuck.”

I’m not ready to think about how I got here. Not yet. Shit. Dunno that I ever will be. 

Just gotta keep moving forward. Earn it. I’ve got super cancer, after all. The constant throbbing in my hand and arm told me that. Gotta make every day count. 

Guess dying doesn’t get any easier the second time. 

Author’s Note:

James and Exusiai share a brain cell. Unfortunately, Sussurro and Texas are the only ones who use it. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 4

Entry 8: Day 24

This is shocking, I know, but I am, in fact, still alive. Otherwise it would be real awkward writing this. Unfortunately, some good people aren’t. I guess this is my life on Terra now. For however long it lasts. 

After making our plans with Igor, we snuck out in disguises. Gavial was the hardest one to do, as she’s relatively tall and that alligator tail is rather distinctive in a land where more than half the population are bear people, and a lot of the rest of them are cats and dogs. They did it with a long skirt and a head covering, but she still sort of stuck out. 

I got a pair of cosmetic bear ears, while Sussurro, to her disgust, was disguised as a perro kid. They even dyed her fur brown.

“You still look cute, if it makes you feel better,” I told her while she was examining her newly dyed tail with no small measure of disgust. 

“Thanks, but I’m pretty sick of being mistaken for a kid,” Sussurro said, sounding rather disgusted. 

“Not to sound ignorant, but um, are most vulpo, you know…vertically challenged?” I asked, feeling rather embarrassed. 

She eyed me with a small measure of amusement, but shook her head. “No, I’m just a shorty, even for a vulpo. We tend to be a few centimeters shorter than perro and especially lupo, but we’re not all durin sized.”

“Well, it could be worse,” I said, and nodded to Andrey, who had on a sour expression. His disguise was a classic: Drag. If everyone was looking for an Ursus boy…then have an Ursus girl. 

“I’d rather be disguised as a man than a child, but I’m afraid I lack the height, even if binding my chest wouldn’t be hard,” Sussurro said with a grimace. She was rather slender, though anyone who mistook her for a boy was frankly blind. 

“Everyone is being ready?” Igor said, looking us over. We nodded, and Andrey schooled his face into one that looked a lot less like he’d been sucking on lemons, even if he was wearing a skirt. “Good. We go now. Keep close, yes? No getting separated.”

It was late afternoon, well before the curfew, which took place at sunset. There were a lot more guards than I remembered, along with checkpoints blocking both cars and foot traffic. The first time we were stopped, I nearly had a heart attack.

“Papers,” a guard with a full mask and respirator said. He had a sword sheathed at his hip and a shield slung on his left arm, while his partner had an automatic crossbow of some kind. 

Still, I proffered the forgery that Igor had been able to obtain in a shockingly short amount of time. 

“Yakov Nikolayevich,” I said.

The guard glanced at it. My ID claimed I was a factory worker, local to the city.

“My sisters, Lyusi and Andreeva,” I said, passing over Sussuro and Andrey’s papers. I was a bit worried I’d get called out for claiming to have a perro sister and an ursus sister, but the guard didn’t bat an eye at that, nor at their ID papers. 

“You may pass,” I said, and waved us through. I hastily ushered the “ladies” through to the other side, then glanced over at Gavial and Igor. They were let through as well, managing to pass the rather casual inspection that the guards were doing. 

“Keep walking,” Igor muttered through the side of his mouth. “We are being lucky. This route, only city guards, not Infected Patrol, or worse, the Imperial Troops that came with the Emperor’s Blade.”

We nodded and continued on at a quick pace. We didn’t have to go far, just a couple of miles, but we passed two more checkpoints, managing to make it through with ease both times. That didn’t help my blood pressure, which I could feel spiking each time I had to hand over my falsified documents. 

Fortunately, we made it through to the safe house where Ivanka Medvedev was staying. It wasn’t in the poorest quarter where Igor lived, but in a somewhat nicer, more middle-class section, nearer to where the Medvedev residence had been. We reached the house, and Igor walked up, knocking on the door in a specific rhythm. 

A moment later, the door swung open, and Igor said, “Snow.”

“Light,” the man on the other side, a somewhat sallow-faced perro by his tail and ears said. He opened the door more widely, glancing around, then said more loudly, “Ah, Demitri, we’ve been waiting for you. Come in, come in.”

We all hurried inside, and the man nodded down the hall. “Back there. I’ll stay here.”

The house itself was brick and wood, with a somewhat homey interior that looked like it would stay warm in the cold winters. Pictures lined the hall of a family, and something bothered me about them. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but Sussurro hissed at Gavial, “Hold on. This is a liberi family in the pictures.”

Gavial spun, but the sallow-faced perro had a crossbow in his hands he’d drawn from a box by the door. “Don’t make a sound, signora. Down the hall. Now.”

More men appeared from various side doors, all of them armed. All of them were perro, actually, which was a bit suspicious. Or wait, signora? Oh fuck. They weren’t perro…

“Il latte di mia madre,” Sussurro snarled. “The Famiglia, here?!”

“What have you done to Ivanka?” Gavial growled, her hands balling into fists. 

“She is well, signora,” the wolf man at the end of the hall said. He was dressed in a sharp suit, and had not a crossbow like the others, but a gun. If I remembered right, that meant he could use arts, because for some reason I didn’t recall, gunpowder didn’t work here or whatever. “Come into the kitchen, and you can see for yourself. Hands where I can see them, per favore. I would hate for there to be an…accident.” 

Slowly, we moved down the hallway to a kitchen where a frightened Ivanka huddled at the table with a family of liberi; a man, a woman, and two boys. The same as the pictures in the hallway. 

Ivanka let out a strangled sob. “I am sorry! They, they were going to torture Arseniy and Kirill! We…we told them the countersign.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Gavial said, looking around. “This everyone?”

“It is, signora,” the mafia don said with a predatory grin. He had a smooth voice, with a neatly trimmed beard. “Now, you will give us the man who can cure-”

Gavial’s kick took the don square in the gut, so hard that I heard ribs snap. At the same time, an axe and a knife flew from her hands, the knife taking one of the goons who were guarding Ivanka and the liberi family right in the neck, the axe embedding itself in the other’s forehead. 

Sussurro drew her crossbow and fired it into the gut of one of the thugs who had been shadowing us, while I let out a wordless yell and threw myself at another thug, only to get clubbed over the head for my troubles and crumple to the floor. Igor did a lot better, bellowing in rage and swiping a massive paw at a pair of lupo to send them crashing into the walls. 

Andrey, bless the kid, did the smart thing and dived under the kitchen table to stay the hell out of the way. Ivanka and the liberi just screamed in terror as violence exploded all around them. 

I had an inkling that Gavial was pretty good in a fight. Shit, I had seen her take on five security guards, all of whom were bigger than she was, in about ten seconds. But as a dozen mafiosos, armed to the teeth with swords, clubs, crossbows, and even a caster who started throwing around flashing arts that my mind couldn’t accept were real all closed in on her, I suddenly realized that she was frankly superhuman. You get an idea that operators in Arknights are tough and can do things that should be impossible, but to see it in person…I’ll do my best, but I don’t think I can really describe how incredible it was. 

Two lupo, both of them at least my own height, with shoulders so wide they had to turn sideways to go through a doorway, and neither of them with more than 10% body fat, both armed, attacked Gavial, who had nothing but her tail and courage. Turned out, it was more than enough. 

These two didn’t do the mook thing of one attacking at a time, even in the confined space. One went in high, the other low, and both of them were clearly going in for the kill. Gavial headbutted the one who went high, and blood sprayed as she shoved his nose back into his cranium. Then she grabbed the body, still in mid-air, and bodyslammed him into his partner so hard she broke the floorboards. 

Two more came at her from behind, and Gavial used her tail to swat one into the wall, while doing a spinning floor kick that hit the other in the neck, and actually broke it, probably killing him instantly. The kind of force you have to be able to do that…

Then Gavial scooped up a dropped sword, and the butcher’s work truly began. Igor was down, after his two opponents recovered, having taken a knife in the leg, and they were about to finish him off. Gavial took one of her foe’s arm off at the elbow, then followed it up with a vicious slash across his abdomen. Then she stabbed her other opponent in the groin, and left him to bleed out. 

By that point, the caster had appeared, and Sussurro was trying to reload as she ducked into the pantry door, which exploded into splinters when the arts hit it. 

The caster, however, had seen Gavial take out half a dozen men in about that many seconds, and refocused his arts on her. I shit you not, she did a WALL RUN through the kitchen as the caster fired off bolts, bellowing, “Xinechixnamiki!” 

Two more goons, one with a crossbow he fired, the other with a sword he raised in a warding gesture, tried to slow Gavial down and give their caster time to take her out. They might as well not have bothered and just lay down to die. Gavial cleaved one from neck to groin, left the sword embedded, and kicked the other in the chin so hard she nearly tore the head off. The caster she body checked into the floor, one last arts attack going off in an explosion against the ceiling that sent plaster and dust flying. 

Then she delivered a rabbit punch to the back of the caster’s head, and he didn’t move after that. 

The whole encounter had lasted less than a minute. I had barely crawled to my hands and knees. Sussurro had finally reloaded her crossbow, but there were no more targets. All our opponents were down, most of them dead. 

Gavial coughed, tried to stand, clutched at her left abdomen, and collapsed. Swearing, I scrambled up and over to her. There was a crossbow bolt embedded in her left lumbar, and unless I missed my guess, it had probably hit her in the kidney. Additionally, she had a nasty splinter the size of a ruler in her right calf, and probably couldn’t stand. 

“Fuckers got me,” she gasped. “Tlamamali tlen tekuani! I’m off my game… curse these skirts!” 

Did I mention she did all that in a dress? Because Gavial did all that in a dress. Holy shit. 

“This is going to hurt,” I told her grimly, but she nodded at me. I ripped out the splinter and healed the leg, making Gavial scream. The arts came easily, though it was raw and unfocused. I probably needed to learn to use a medical wand, but I re-knit the leg. 

“I…I got the bolt,” Gavial grunted. “On three. One. Two. THREEEEEEE!” 

Screaming, she ripped out the barbed bolt from her own body, spraying out blood and viscera. Looks like it had hit the small intestines as well. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Still, I managed to get it all back together with liberal application of the arts, though I was light headed and woozy after. I stumbled over to the corner and vomited. I wasn’t sure if it was from seeing the horrific death and violence, or arts use overdose. 

“Everyone on your feet, now!” Gavial barked. I tried to stumble up, but then someone was there, putting their shoulder under my arm, lifting me up. To my surprise, it was a grim-faced Sussurro, and despite myself, I gratefully leaned on her and managed to get up.

“I…I’m good,” I slurred, wiping bile from my lips. “Help…help the others.”

“We need to move, fast like,” Gavial ordered. She’d picked up the biggest sword, and was pointing to the back door. “That commotion-”

The door burst open, and two more lupo thugs tried to storm in. Sussurro’s bolt took one in the arm, making him cry out. Gavial pounced on the other like a gator going for a zebra at a watering hole, while Igor clawed the other into a bloody mess. 

“MOVE IT PEOPLE, COME ON!” her voice bellowed from beyond. 

Sussurro was reloading, so I urged the family, Ivanka, and the two crying liberi children out the door with Andrey’s help. Igor struggled to his feet and hobbled after us, gritting his teeth. 

“It’s OK, that’s just Doctor Gavial. She’s scary, but only to bad guys,” Andrey was telling the sniffling kids. 

We hurried out back into an alley, where Death had already paid a Health and Wellness visit. There had been five more mafiosos aside from the two at the door. They were no longer among the living. Gavial had taken two superficial cuts, one to her right forearm, the other to her tail, which was lashing in irritation. 

“Where did these assholes come from?!” Gavial snarled, looking around at the gore she’d created in disgust. 

“From Siracusa. They were pushed out of Volsinii, something about a reformed judge and the last Texas,” Igor panted. “They have been causing trouble.”

I glanced at his leg, gritted my teeth, and grabbed it. “Hold still. This might sting.”

Igor set his jaw, and I used arts again to knit the wound together. It had been pretty bad, he shouldn’t have been able to walk on the leg properly for a moment, but he flexed it and grunted. “Good as new. Now, we run.”

“W-we cannot flee!” The liberi father said. “Our things, we must get them, and the children-”

“Your stuff worth your kids' lives?” Gavial demanded, and the pale parents shook their heads. “Good, now RUN! Because that much noise is going to attract exactly the wrong kind of…”

She trailed off. We were pretty far north, so despite the late hour, the sun shouldn’t have set for a while. I dunno how that works with the false sky and all, but it does. But it was growing dark, and in a hurry. Black mist was growing around us. And that meant only one thing. 

“Fly, you fools,” I whispered, picked up a kid under each arm, and booked the hell out of there as fast as I could, genuinely completely terrified. I think that was the point at which I pissed myself, but I’m not sure, it could have been earlier. 

Everyone was running at that point. Gavial had ripped off her skirt and was sprinting along, Andrey over one shoulder. The liberi parents were scrambling along with Sussurro screaming at them to move it, somehow keeping up despite her short legs. Ivanka was puffing and pale faced, but she was moving as fast as she could. 

But Igor…he picked up a crossbow and a grenade, and was only jogging after us. “Run! I will make some noise! Go!”

There was no time to argue, no time to plan. Igor took a sharp right, pitched the grenade into the house, and pulled out another. The house exploded behind us. I never saw Igor again. But I don’t have to imagine too hard to think what happened to the old guy. I can only hope that Kataya got out. She’d fled to another safe house once we’d left. 

We had ran only for a block when a unit of Imperial Guards, bearing pikes and spears and with riot shields, moved in from the side. Gavial moved to the side, crashing through a black door by the expedient of simply flattening it, then leading us through the building in a pell-mell scramble past some terrified residents. We burst out into the street on the other side and just kept running. To where I had no idea, but the black mist had faded, so whatever direction was away from the Emperor’s Blade was good enough for me now. 

However, I was starting to flag. Gavial had set down Andrey, and I was forced to do the same to the two other kids. They ran along, no longer crying, their eyes almost completely white in sheer terror. 

Another group of guards jumped us, this time, in a near perfectly executed ambush, save for the fact that they were fighting Gavial the Invincible, who just did not give a fuck. A sniper on the roof to either side. Gavial deflected one bolt with her sword in a movie I thought was only possible in the moves, and took the other in her left shoulder. Two more groups of two burst from houses, each pair a crossbow and sword and board combo. It thought we were completely fucked.

Gavial, wounded, winded, and completely unfazed, ripped the shield out of the nearest one’s hands, then proceeded to clobber him and his partner to death with it. 

Unfortunately, the other pair were not just sitting there. Liberi mom went down with a bolt in her shoulder, diving in to shield her older son. The dad was mercilessly cut down with a sword, shielding his other child. 

I thought I was just straight up fucking dead when the crossbow guard advanced on me with a knife, but then he grunted, a bolt appeared in his waist at where his armor was weak, as Sussurro covered me. By the time the guy with the sword turned on me, Gavial whipped the shield she had around. It took sword guy in the neck, the shield sticking in the brick wall behind him. His head stayed on top of the shield. The body slumped to the ground. 

“COVER, NOW!” Gavial roared, and picked up the wounded mother as I grabbed Andrey and the other kid, diving inside the house that had just held our ambushers. More bolts thudded behind us, and I heard Gavial grunt in pain again. 

Sussurro dragged in the dad, but when I went to try to heal him, I could see there was no point. I tried anyway, but my arts, it seemed, could not bring back the dead. I was able to re-knit the body completely, but he didn’t stir. I felt tears in my eyes and tried to start chest compressions, but Sussurro dragged me over to Gavial. “Heal her! I’ll take care of the mother.”

“Where’s Ivanka?” I said, my head whipping around. I hadn’t seen her in minutes.

“She took a crossbow bolt in the back,” Gavial gasped, her eyes closed as she slumped against the wall, two bolts in her. “About half a click back. Didn’t…didn’t stop for her.”

I felt sick to my stomach, but I had already puked my guts up. I ripped out the bolts from Gavial, and she barely reacted. I did heal her back up, and when I did, she got up, but she looked exhausted. 

“What now?” I asked her.

She gritted her teeth, stayed low, and crawled over to the front window. She used her sword to lift up a cushion, which was ripped away by a crossbow bolt. Fuck. We were boxed in.

“Now, we’re fucked,” Gavial said, looking completely drained as she crouched there. Sussurro was huddled with the three children and the mother, all of them wide-eyed and terrified. I looked around, feeling defeated.

“If…If I gave myself up, would that,” I began, but Gavial’s eyes snapped open.

“James, shut the fuck up,” she growled. “I just…I need a minute.”

I nodded. Second crawled by, and I could feel my life tick away as Gavial tried to catch her breath. Even as tough as she was, she could not hope to fight the entire Ursus Imperial Guard, the City Guard, and that Emperor’s Blade, wherever it was. 

Then, there was a crackle on Sussuro’s belt. 

“Deta five-niner,” a woman’s voice said in a distinctive southern drawl. “This is Papa Bird. Y’all ready for a pick up?”

Sussurro scrambled for a second as everyone held their breath, lifting the radio to her face with trembling hands. “This is Delta Actual. We have the package in hand, with three extra boxes. We are currently engaged and surrounded. We…we do not know if pickup is possible.”

“Aw, doncha worry ‘bout that, Delta Actual! Papa Bird ALWAYS gets the packages on time! Doesn’t matter how many of them there are! Stand by for pick up, we’ll be there in a jiffy!” 

“We…we have a Blade on us, Papa Bird. You…you may need to wave off,” Sussurro said, eyes closed, her voice shaking.

There was a pause on the other side, then a new voice spoke. This one was deep, and male.  “Hey, don’t you worry ‘bout that, Delta Actual. Papa Bird Actual is in the house.”

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, and I looked over at Sussurro, who had opened her eyes. Fucking hell. “Wait, is that-” I began, but then the windows around us exploded. 

“DOWN!” Gavial screamed, and the world was engulfed with light and sound as flashbangs went off. 

I didn’t see all that went down then, I was too dazed and bleeding from my burst eardrums and my mouth from biting my own tongue. But when I came too, Gavial was grappling with an absolutely enormous imperial guard. She roared and shoved him back, drew a knife, and stabbed him in the heart, before dropping herself, gasping for breath, covered in dust and blood, more than a little of it her own. I tried to shout as another Imperial Guard loomed over her, raising a battle axe for a fatal blow, but no sound escaped my lips. 

I heard what sounded like faint pops, but with my blown eardrums was probably incredibly loud automatic rifle fire as bullets sprayed. The Imperial Guard fell over, dead, and an angel flew in through the window, guns akimbo, a wide grin on her face. 

“Heya, Gavial! Looks like you got quite a workout! I heard you have a couple packages for delivery? I’ll just need you to sign here first,” the red-headed angel said with a wide grin, though her voice was tinny and distant. 

My first glimpse of Exusiai was not what I expected. Instead of the typical delivery girl uniform she wore in game, she was dressed more in her Vitafield skin, though instead of shorts, she had on full-length combat pants. She even had on a full face mask with goggles to protect herself from all the originium that was being thrown around, though that didn’t stop the quips. 

“Exu, am I glad to see you,” Gavial said with a sigh. Sussurro had gotten up somehow, and was busy healing Gavial, but the older doc shook her off and stood, rolling her shoulders. “Didn’t think they’d send PL for us.”

“When you need a package delivered, no ifs, ands, or buts, you call for best, because we’ve got the guts!” Exusiai said, and despite the mask, I could hear her grin. Then she spun about and fired off another barrage of bullets, which probably left some poor bastard dead or bleeding out. No rubber bullets this time. “Now come on! I’ll try to handle it with care, but this pickup is gonna be bumpy!” 

We scrambled outside, where three more figures were engaging the Imperial Guardsmen. One was a blur of motion with twin swords, flashing across the battlefield almost too fast to track. A rain of swords preceded her wherever she went, impaling her foes in an incredible display of combat arts. That would be the Last Texas. I half wondered if the unemployed terrorist was around, but thankfully, Lappland wasn’t present. 

The other two had raised shields and were holding the line in front of a black VTOL that had set down in the street behind them, firing automatic crossbows that were sending a rain of bolts back at the Ursus forces.  

“We got wounded! Little help, here!” Exusiai called, then mowed down a whole squad with her twin sub-machine guns. 

The shield bearers charged forward, lowering their heads and battering aside the guardsmen they were fighting. Both had ox horns, but they were so heavily armored head to foot with and gas masks on that I couldn’t tell who was who, though I suspected Croissant and Bison. Damn, they really were calling out all the stops. 

We moved in a tight formation back towards the VTOL, whose rotors were thumping the air loudly and kicking up gusts and dust all around the aircraft. There were no markings that I could see on it, and in fact, none of the operatives around me had any distinguishing markings. I had expected the Penguin Logistics logo front and center, but I guess this was an actual black op. 

We had nearly reached the craft, when the sky went dark again. The black mist didn’t so much creep this time as flood into the square, covering the ground. Texas finished off a group, then backflipped smoothly to land beside us, twin blades raised in a high guard. 

“He’s here,” Gavial growled, her eyes darting around. She’d picked up a shield and a battle axe, and her tail was swishing back and forth in irritation. 

“They said this delivery would be interesting,” Texas said in a deadpan. “Seems like it.”

“CONTACT FRONT!” Exusiai roared, and opened up with both guns as a massive black shadow charged towards us out of the smoke. 

I was coughing and gasping for breath despite the N95 mask I’d put on. Sussurro was crouching beside me, struggling to breathe herself, as were the three children and the mom. I blinked through tears to watch as Texas, Gavial, Exusiai, and the two bull-horned shield bearers all clashed with the Emperor’s Blade. 

You remember what I said about Gavial being superhuman? How she obliterated squads of mafia thugs, and even elite imperial guardsman? She caught a casual backhand from the Emperor’s blade as he moved like liquid smoke. She went flying and crashed into a building, then lay in a crumpled heap. Texas had gone in at the same instant, flashing from behind the shield wall to hit the left as Gavial had gone for the right. Her rain of swords and flurry of blows were blocked by the Blade, who then nearly skewered her with his parry. Texas spun away, pain etched on her face, and the armor she’d been wearing shorn through, a bloody gash on her side. 

Then the two shields were carved in half with a single blow, even as Exusiai pumped every last round from her mags into the monster's head and chest. The bullets pattered off like they were rain. 

Close. We had been so close. We had nearly made it, but then this horror had appeared and just swatted aside people who were positively superhuman like they were nothing but bothersome gnats. 

But as they say, there is always a bigger fish. 

Or in this case, Penguin.

The VTOL suddenly shuddered, not with weapons fire, but as a deep base rumble from enormous subwoofers shook it. Out of the ramp stepped, well, what looked like an ordinary Emperor Penguin. If a penguin wore sunglasses, a black Skullyz hat, two heavy gold chains, and a T-shirt with, I shit you not, a goat-horned Eminem with PLEASE STAND UP written on it. Instead of a rocket launcher, or maybe a full sized canon, the penguin held two things. In one flipper, a gun, which was turned sideways, gangster style. And in the other, a much more dangerous weapon.

A microphone. 

Yo, it’s Papa Bird, flyin’ high and proud,

Feathers black, royal crown, I’m talkin’ loud.

You’re flashin’ that blade, tryin’ to hurt my girls,

But I’m the sky’s king, watch me unfurl.

The blade…staggered back. The black mist fled, pushed back as a pulsing, glowing aura surrounded us. I felt energy flooding me, and my ears popped as my hearing was suddenly restored. I got to shaky feet, looking around as Gavial hauled herself up, and Texas’ wounds knitted before my eyes. 

“Ok, boys and girls! Field trips over, let’s get out of here!” Exusiai said, still chipper, but with a quavering in her voice. 

I didn’t argue. As Emperor continued his rap, we all scrambled aboard the aircraft. 

YOU. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, BEAST LORD. WE WILL NOT FORGET THIS TRESSPASS, the blade hissed after us. 

Emperor snorted, and continued his rap. 

Wings spread wide, empire in my claws,

You threaten my girls? Boy, pause.

Surprise, mother fucker, I’m back on the hunt,

Papa Bird’s wrath—front to front.

We stumbled inside, the hatch rising even as Emperor continued dropping bars. Behind us in the cockpit, a girl with a headset peaked out. 

“Go, go, go!” one of the horned shield guards said, ripping off her helmet to reveal Croisant’s features. She jumped into the pilot's seat even as the co-pilot, who had to be Sora, lifted us off the ground with a roar of turbines. 

Just as the hatch closed, though, the craft jolted and rang like a bell as a black sword was driven through the closed door, nearly impaling Emperor, who was at the back of the group.

He just spat on the sword, and muttered, “Bitch, please. Let’s fly, girls!” 

Despite that final attack, we wobbled off into the sky, boosting away as Croissant put on a headset.

“Strap in!” Sora called somewhat belatedly, as we were already spilled everywhere. “Or failing that, just hang on!” 

I managed to grab Andrey and shove him into a seat, buckling him tightly before doing the same to myself. The others all managed to get buckled in as the craft bucked and clanged, and what sounded like hail drummed against the hull. Exusiai went to a side door and peered out with her guns. “We got drones on us, boss!” 

“Well what the fuck am I paying you for?! Shoot them!” 

Exusiai didn’t even quip back, her weapons barking until she had to slap in a new mag. The scent of burning ozone filled the compartment, and I could only close my eyes and hold on for dear life.

“We’re clear of the city, bawss,” Croissant’s voice said after several sphincter-clenching moments. “Skies are free ‘til we hit Lungmen! Least ways, I hope so. We took a mite of damage, but I reckon I can keep Ol’ Mama Bird in the air!” 

“Keep us steady, Croissant. I ain’t payin’ overtime just cause you wanted to walk back.”

“On it, Bawss!” Croissant said with a thumbs up, then bent over the controls. 

Emperor waddled back over, and came to a stop right in front of me. I swallowed, even as the Beast Lord lowered his sun glasses. 

If you don’t know what a Beast Lord is…join the club. I think they’re gods or something. I don’t know, I just watched the PV on youtube and saw the hardest image ever of a penguin with a glock facing down a wolf god. What I’d seen with Emperor vs. the Blade confirmed what I think a lot of the Arknights community had long suspected: Beast Lords are completely cracked. That kind of arts was scary. 

“Hey. Kid. You’d better be worth this, you hear?”

“I…I don’t know that I am, sir.”

“Sir? Fuck, I work for a living, kid. Call me Boss. Or just Emps.”

“Yes sir, um, Boss.”

Emperor grunted. “When I got a call from the Old Hag with a priority one pick up…I knew shit was gonna hit the fan. Last time I got one of those…Chernobog happened.”

“I…I’m not the Ghost of Babel,” I stammered. “And I wasn’t in a Sarcophagus.”

Emperor’s eyebrows shot up. You ever seen a penguin with eyebrows? It would have been funny if he wasn’t so terrifying. “Really? Well, that’s food for thought. Fuck. I shoulda stayed home and just listened to my vinyls. Steada declarin’ war on those half demon assholes…”

He flopped into a seat beside Exusiai and strapped in. The Sankta was stripping and cleaning her guns, which didn’t even seem to have had enough time to cool, but she was diligently taking care of them. Texas had closed her eyes and pulled out a cigarette and was puffing away on it. 

Next to her, the liberi mom tentatively said, “Can…can I have one of those?”

Texas opened one eye, took a long drag, then proffered her box. The mom took it with trembling hands, and Texas offered her light before going back to quietly smoking. 

I glanced over at Gavial, but she had her eyes closed and, to my shock, seemed to actually be asleep. I guess she’d been a little worn out. Bison was trying to cheer up Andrey and the two liberi kids, but while Andrey was smiling weakly, the other two were in complete shock.

Sussurro, who was sitting beside me, was looking greener by the moment. The VTOL was shuddering and bucking in the air, so at first I thought it was motion sickness. Bison noticed and handed her a plastic bag, which she took gratefully. 

“You alright? Need any healing?” I offered.

She shook her head. “No, I…James. That was the first time…I’ve… I’ve never… killed.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

“Y-yeah.” Sussurro closed her eyes, then buried her face in the barf bag and emptied her stomach noisily and violently. I rubbed her back, feeling miserable. 

“Here,” Emperor said, and passed over a bottle of water. “First time in combat?”

Sussurro shook her head miserably. “Mostly, but before, I was just a combat medic. This time…I killed someone. A couple of someones, actually.”

Emperor grunted, and Exusiai paused her cleaning to give Sussurro a sympathetic look. “Sorry, Sussurro. I know you’re a doc and all, but hey, you did good! That was a pretty intense pick up, and you even got out three extra packages.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling the urge to vomit myself. “But we had three more.” 

Sussurro lowered the bag and swigged some water, Bison taking the upchuck and getting rid of it. She leaned against me, looking completely drained. “James…”

“Yeah?”

“We’ll make it count. I promise.”

I managed to swallow and forced a smile. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

She drifted off then, but I was too jazzed to manage it. So I typed all this up instead. Shit. We’ll be hitting Lungmen airspace before too long. After that…who knows. I’m reminded of that last scene in Saving Private Ryan. The one where Captain Miller tells Ryan “Earn this.” 

Hell of a lot to live up to. There’s at least three good people dead because of me. How do you ever earn that? 

May I Enjoy My Life: Chapter 3

Entry 5: Day 21

Turns out being a passenger on the Oripathy Underground Railroad is really boring. Especially if you can’t even make any Harriet Tubman jokes. I tried, but Sussurro just looked at me funny and Gavial seemed to think I was making a fat joke. 

“Never mind, I guess knowing about Moses is a Columbian thing,” I said with a heavy sigh. 

“You’re from Columbia? Figured by the accent, whereabouts?” Gavial asked. 

“Uh, little place you’ve probably never heard of, called San Diego,” I said. “More specifically, Carlsbad. Good surfing there.” 

Now that wasn’t an out and out lie, and I felt kinda bad. I’d have to tell these two at some point that I was, you know. Human. Homo sapiens? Damn, what was the scientific nomanclature for the various Terran races? 

“Nope, never heard of it,” Gavial said with a shrug. “I’ve been to Columbia, but only as far as Tkaronto. That was back in my merc days. Mostly stayed in Sargon and a brief stint in Bolivar. Good merc work there.”

“I’m from Palermo in Siracusa. That’s also where I graduated from medical school, though I finished my training at Rhodes Island after I was infected,” Sussurro said. 

“How’d that happen?” I asked. I probably like, should have known? But as previously mentioned basically never read any of the lore. Aside from an occasional summary video on Youtube, I got most of what I know from the anime. Which had a blink and you’ll miss it cameo from Sussurro. 

“You’ve heard of the Palermo Incident?” Sussurro prompted, and I could only shake my head. “Hmm, well, it was a major catastrophe for us, but I suppose Siracusa is rather far away from Columbia. Anyway, a factory that processed Originum exploded. Coated a quarter of the city in Originium dust. The poor quarter. I was, of course, in the nicer part of the city, attending the Palermo Medical Academy, in my third year. They asked for volunteers to help treat the infected. So I did.” 

Sussurro leaned back, her eyes unfocusing as she gazed off at nothing. “We were running out of medical equipment and supplies. I was careful, but not careful enough, it seems. Probably when I was treating one of the acute cases. So many died. I ended up infected. Since I was a doctor, well, a medic really, but I was being treated as a doctor, I got access to first-line anti-oripathy drugs. I’ve been infected for five years now, but my disease has barely progressed. Prognosis is good. Actually, excellent, considering what you did. Time will tell, but I’m expected to make it to 60.” 

I nodded slowly. “Guess you all know how I got infected. What about you, Gavial? If you don’t mind sharing, that is.”

“Nah, it’s cool. We’re all infected here,” she said, tweaking Andrey’s nose when the boy started to look overly morose. “Friend of mine, Tomimi, got caught in a mining accident. I ran in without thinking, stupid and careless, didn’t even get any PPE, not even a bandana around my breathing holes. Anyway, I got Tomimi out fine, and she was wearing gear like a sensible person, wonder of wonders. I cut myself on raw originium, got infected. Tribe wasn’t too happy about that. I told them to go to hell, and left to go to medical school. To pay off my debts, I joined a merc company for a few years. Got bored with that, so I joined Rhodes Island.” 

“You must, uh, really care for Tomimi. Was she at least grateful?” I said. Now that story, I knew. Tomimi was the biggest Gavial simp in the entire universe, and I was pretty sure they were in lesbians with one another. 

“Sure, she’s a great friend of mine. Down bad for me, too. Sucks for her I’m straight,” Gavial said with a completely deadpan expression. 

I looked to Sussurro, who shrugged. “Doctor-patient privilege.” 

Damn. That meant there was some legendarily epic tea behind that door, but also that I couldn’t pry. There’s certain things you don’t do, and trying to get another doctor to break doctor-patient confidentiality is one of them. 

Also, the yuri shippers on Reddit would have an absolute conniption if they ever heard about this. 

“Don’t get me wrong, though, I’d lay down in traffic for that girl, dumb as she is. She’s a real sweetie but tails of my foremothers, she is dumb. Hell, I think she thought shooting down my aircraft was a freaking romantic gesture.” 

“She tries,” Sussurro said, though her lips were twitching in a smile. “And she really is head over heels for you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gavial said, blowing a bit of air out to make one of her bangs flop back into place. “Ugh, I almost feel bad about the whole thing. She fell for me the moment I rescued her from that mine. Even carried a shard of originium I impaled myself on getting her out around with her like some kind of talisman. Sheesh. Like I’d ever want to see that thing again.”

“Well, must be nice to know someone wants you at least,” I said, my mind wandering slightly. I wouldn’t say Gavial was in my top ten Arknights waifus, that’s a very stacked list with my beloved Blaze at the top of the list, followed by Specter and Skadi because I have a thing for yanderes, but she was definitely moving up the list. Plus, you know…she was real now. And very attractive, alligator tail and all. I tried not to think too hard about it, though. We were already in a very awkward situation, and coming on to her would just make it worse. 

“Not much success in the romantic department?” Gavial said with a grin. 

I grimaced. “I just graduated from medical school. I haven’t had time for that sort of thing since I got my undergraduate in neuroscience. I tried dating for a bit but Tinder is fucking cancer and I just didn’t have the energy.”

“La mia anziana nonna, I feel you on that one,” Sussurro said with a shudder. “I take it Tinder is some sort of Columbian dating app?” 

“Uh, yeah,” I lied, rubbing the back of my head. “Good for the occasional hookup, but, uh, I’m a 7/10 at best. At least I’m actually six foot. Uh, that’s 183cm.” 

“Eh, you’re not bad kid, even if you’re a bit young for me,” Gavial said with a wink. “I’d give you an 8/10 for sure.”

Huh. How old was she? Gavial looks, I dunno, mid thirties, maybe? But I’m shit at judging ages usually and frankly I have no idea how a crocodile person ages. 

“Thanks, maybe I can put that on my profile when I try dating again,” I said. “Doctor Gavial of Rhodes Island gives me an 8/10, would not date but he’s cute someone should totally pick him up!”

Gavial and Sussurro both went quiet and looked uncomfortable. After a moment, a revelation hit me. I couldn’t use Tinder again, and more importantly…

“They…they don’t let you use dating apps if you have oripathy…do they?” I asked, my voice rather tiny, and feeling sick to my stomach. It would be like dating if you were HIV+. No one would touch that who had a lick of sense. 

“There’s lots of cute operators at Rhodes Island. I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Gavial said in too chipper tones. 

“Easy for you to say. You know what happened to me and Askel,” Sussurro said, making a gesture of negation with her hands.

“He another doctor?” I guessed, though I couldn’t recall an operator named Askel. 

“He’s on Operations Team A4, a caster, not a medic,” Sussuro said, shaking her head. 

A caster on A4? That was a 3 star team, so it was either Lava or Steward, and based on context, I was guessing Steward. Huh. Guess they tended to call one another by their names when they weren’t on the clock. 

“Anyway, we just…drifted apart. He keeps getting deployed all over the place, and I’m always so busy with medical work…there wasn’t any real spark, and I could tell he was starting to develop a thing with Merry. So I broke up,” Sussurro said with a heavy sigh. 

I think Merry was Cardigan, and was…a member of the ski patrol or something? Wait, no bobsled team. Her and Steward, huh? Cute. 

“Yeah, I had to talk with both of them about having safe sex since she’s uninfected,” Gavial said with a sigh. 

Wait, was oripathy an STD? That would…sort of make sense? Shit, I really needed to look this stuff up. There was a lot different about being a doctor here. Maybe I’d have to repeat medical school. 

“Hey, you got any literature on you?” I asked, as casually as I could. 

Gavial raised an eye at me. “In front of the kid, McCoy? I’m not giving you some skin mag.”

I spluttered and went bright red, which made Gavial laugh. She dug out a phone and tossed it to me. “I take it you mean medical research, right? Here. I downloaded all the latest stuff from Rhodes Island before we came. I might not look it, but I do a lot of reading so I can keep up with current treatments. Just ask if you have questions, though you’re better off directing your questions to Lucia here. She wrote half this stuff.”

I muttered my thanks and got to reading, taking notes on my phone as I went. The formatting, at least, was pretty familiar, and to my surprise, almost all of it was in English. Or at least, it looked like English? It’s probably Victorian or something. There was a lot to chew through, but I started with the basic stuff and worked my way up. It was, at least, something to do while we waited in the basement. 

Entry 6: Day 22

Waiting around in the dark is a good way to make you go crazy. Gavial started doing calisthenics with Andrey, and I joined in. After watching for a bit, Sussurro did too. We had to keep it quiet, but Gavial was actually really good as a fitness instructor, though she did a lot of katas and shadowboxing. I’ve never done any of that stuff, so she came over and corrected my form a few times, but at least it was sort of fun. 

Aside from that, I pissed in the bucket that Igor brought down for us, we can’t even go up stairs to use the bathroom, and ate some of Kataya’s admittedly excellent cooking. I wonder if their kids would be bears, cats, or a mix? Huh. Can they have kids? I really should have paid more attention to the lore. The uh, subreddits of ill-repute I’ve visited would lead me to believe species are cross-compatible, but I don’t think H-Dojinshi are good reference material. 

Well, at least it’s good for letting me read up on oripathy. Turns out, it IS an STD, and certain precautions have to be taken when having intercourse with an infected person. Depending on the level of infection, even a kiss or any exchange of bodily fluids can result in infecting your partner. Just my damn luck. There goes the dating pool. 

Entry 7: Day 23

Well. That was a nice break from the existential dread. Now we’re running for our lives again. Because the just about the worst news imaginable came. 

It was Kataya who ran down the stairs at about 10:00 am by my phone clock, looking pale-faced and panicked. 

“Who are you, what have you done!?” she hissed, looking angry and terrified. 

“What do you mean? We’re from Rhodes Island,” Gavial said, sitting up from her upteenth game of cards with Andrey. Sussurro and I had just been talking quietly about a medical paper she’d written on treating patients with acute oripathy, but we’d stopped when Kataya had scrambled down.

“The Special Patrol has been tearing apart the city, but that we expected,” Kataya swallowed, closing her eyes as tears leaked down her cheeks. “But…but it is worse. There are rumors. I just heard from Svetlana that…that an Emperor’s Blade has been seen in the city. And they are asking questions about Rhodes Islanders.”

My heart froze in my chest. The cards fell out of Gavial’s nerveless hands, and Sussurro whimpered a “Armi sacre dei Sankta!”

Andrey started crying. I don’t blame the kid. 

“You’re sure?” Gavial said, bolting to her feet, her tail stiff behind her. “An Emperor’s Blade, here?”

Kataya could only nod. “They have instituted a curfew. And…and they have publicly announced that they will be executing Doctor Sergei Medvedev tomorrow at noon, in the city square. They have not done public executions since…since the riots after Chernobog.” 

“Well. Fuck,” I swore, putting my hands to my head. I was familiar with the Emperor’s Blades. Mostly as a horrendously difficult boss, famous for initially being completely impossible to defeat. You just had to survive and run. They were later introduced as a boss in a side event that farted out black clouds that were so debilitating that they would render entire teams of the most elite operators completely impotent. 

“B-but Dr. Gavial…she’s really scary. You…you can keep us safe, right?” Andrey said, clinging to Gavial.

She gave him a pained smile and rubbed his head. “Sure thing, kid. One shows up and I’ll beat him until he takes his medicine.”

She was lying, and terrified. I could tell. Oh hell. Gavial was definitely the most combat-capable person here. If she was scared of taking on an Emperor’s Blade…

Kataya left, and were were collectively shitting bricks, and trying to figure out what we were going to do, when the trap door opened again. Gavial shoved Andrey behind her and growled, baring her teeth, while Sussurro raised her crossbow in trembling hands. I just sort of stood there, frozen, like a bitch. 

But it was Igor who came down. He saw the crossbow and grunted. “Put that away. If the Tsar’s sword finds you, a toy like that will be doing nothing. I am having good news. Your message, it was being received, yes? Somehow, your friends, they are coming. Tonight. We must be getting you to evac point.”

“What about Dr. Medvedev?” I blurted. 

Igor looked pained. “You will not be breaking him out, I think. Foolhardy to try. Against the city guard…doable. Against the Infected Patrol…hard, but possible for you I am thinking. But an Emperor’s Blade? Unless you are hiding an entire army inside your coat sleeve, no. Even then, would only be even chance.”

“That’s…that’s a slight exaggeration, right?” I said, glancing at Sussurro and Gavial. 

“Director Kal’tsit reportedly fought an Emperor’s Blade once,” Sussurro said quietly, and Igor looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “Her and Monst3r. They fought the Blade to a draw.”

“That is being impossible! No one can fight a Blade and live!” Igor snapped.

“It’s true,” I said, and Igor nodded, until I continued, “But she didn’t kill the Pursuer, only fought him off. And if an ancient immortal witch and her pet demon can’t kill an Emperor’s Blade…we’re turbo fucked.”

It was dead quiet, and I shivered. Then I noticed the expressions of shock and near horror that Gavial and Sussurro were giving me.

“Igor, take the kid upstairs,” Gavial said, her tone suddenly dangerous. 

“What? I cannot be doing-” Ignor cut himself off, as Gavial snarled and gave him a death glare that would have given even an Emperor’s Blade pause. He grabbed Andrey and hauled him upstairs and shut the trap door behind him.

Then I was hit by a brick wall and found myself pinned to the wall by my throat, and angry Gavial’s face about one inch from mine, her fangs bared. 

“Alright. You’ve known just a little bit too much for a while now. But that? That’s classified shit that even I don’t know all the details of. Sussurro! What the fuck is wrong with you!? You do not just go spouting off details of Operation Walk in the Dust! Just because you’ve been read into some of the Classified stuff does NOT mean you get to spill the beans on that shit!” 

“I’m sorry! I just, that’s common knowledge! What even is Operation Walk in the Dust?!” Sussurro said, wringing her hands. She spared a glare for me, though. “But how did he hear about a rumor that’s only whispered about on the landship? I heard that from Heidi herself, and only when she was completely wasted.”

“Fuck. Forget you even heard the name of that operation. I forget you’re not a senior field operator,” Gavial said with a heavy sigh. “I’ve…fought an Emperor’s Blade before. Got the low down from Doctor and the Director during Chernobog. But that shit is ultra classified.”

“You…you fought Reunion?” I gasped around the hand choking me. “B-but you guys didn’t defeat the blades, they just urk sort of wander off the field and you have to keep them off Ta-”

The hand tightened, and I saw stars as Gavial’s hot breath washed over me. 

“How. Do. You. Know. That.” Gavial hissed. 

I slapped at her arm to indicate I couldn’t fucking talk if she was strangling me, and she eased up enough for me to gasp for breath.

Sussurro was looking panicked now. “Gavial! Don’t kill him! If he really can cure oripathy, he’s the best hope for-”

“Shut it, Lucia! Now. You. McCoy. If that is your name. Talk.”

I gagged a bit, and Gavial gave me a bit more breathing room. “Not…not a furry.”

She frowned at me. “What?” 

“I’m not...fuck, what’s the word? Kemo-mimi…shit. I’m human!” 

“We’re all human, though I’m starting to question if you’re just a plant,” Gavial snarled. 

“Wait. Hold on. Let him down,” Sussurro said.

Gavial glared at Sussurro, but the fun-sized vulpo drew herself up to her full height. “I’m in command of this mission, Gavial. Let him down.”

She grunted and complied, and I gasped for breath and sank to my knees, massaging my throat. Sussurro stood over me, frowning. She ran her hands through my hair, which I keep relatively short. I’ve never had much time for bothering to comb my hair every day, having to shave is bad enough. Though at this point, I had more than the start to a beard going on. 

“Lucia, what are you doing?” Gavial said, sounding exasperated. “We need to know who the fuck this is, and how he knows this kind of shit.”

“Quiet. You, McCoy. Strip,” Sussurro ordered. 

I blinked at her. “Uh, I don’t think this is really the time for-”

“Strip,” she said firmly. “Now.”

Slowly, I complied. My clothes were more than a little ripe after spending three days in them, not to mention the exertion I’d been through running for my life and the workouts with Gavial. I got all my clothes off, and nervously put my hands over my privates to retain some modesty. 

Sussuro moved my hand away and, uh, inspected the goods so to speak. “Turn your head and cough.”

I almost laughed because that actually made things less awkward. “I’m a bit young for a prostate exam,” I said, but did as she told me. 

After I complied, she made me go to the center of the room so she could walk all the way around me, checking me out from head to toe. It was, uh, well more than a little awkward. Especially with Gavial looming there in the background. How the hell did someone six inches shorter than me manage to loom that well?

It’s probably the crocodile teeth. 

“What’s the capital of Columbia?” Sussurro said, coming to a stop in front of me and looking up at me, frowning. 

Oh shit. Uh, quick, what were all the Colombian cities I knew? Fuck it.

“I honestly have no clue,” I admitted. 

Gavial snorted at that. “Sure, kid. Try again. Anyone would know the capital of Columbia is Max DC. Lie and I’ll rip your arms off.”

Sussurro shot Gavial a glare. “I am in charge here, Dr. Gavial, and if I need intimidation, I will ask.”

Gavial shrugged and mimed zipping her lips, though she continued to stand there menacingly. She really probably could rip my arms off. 

“No signs of fur, feathers, scales, a tail, or any other characteristics of any known race,” Sussurro said, playing with one of her bangs. “Dr. Gavial. What does that suggest to you?”

“Huh? But he…wait.” Gavial came over and did her own very thorough inspection. She even made me open my mouth and peered inside. “Well. Fuck me.”

“I told you, I’m human! I’m, look, I’m not-”

“Not from Terra,” Sussurro finished, and threw my pants at me. “Get dressed. We really need to get you out of here, now.”

“Wait, you’re…not surprised?” I asked as I hopped into my pants. 

“Know anything about the Urals, kid?” Gavial prompted.

“They’re mountains? In Europe?” I guessed. “Uh, like, Russia, I think? Geography isn’t- oh.”

“He’s like those guys from Watchtower 33,” Gavial said to Sussurro, who nodded. 

I brightened at that. “Wait, the Rainbow Six guys are here too? So you’ve heard of uh, homo sapiens before?”

Sussurro looked at me from hooded eyes. “You know a lot of very suspicious things, Dr. McCoy. Are you even a doctor?”

In response, I dug out my wallet and gave her my California Medical License.

“Medical Board of California. Post-graduate Training License, James Leonard McCoy. Expiration 06-30-2028. Original date of issue, 05-23-2025,” she read. She showed it to Gavial, who frowned at it, then shrugged. 

I will never forgive my parents for making my middle name Leonard. At least they didn’t make it my first name. Damn Trekkies. I suppose the primary advantage of moving to Terria is I won’t get any more of those stupid jokes. 

“Well, I guess you’re legit then,” Gavial said, passing me back my liscense. “Though I take it you’re going to need some retraining.”

“Why do you think I’ve been reading like crazy for the past couple of days,” I said, pulling my shirt on. I grimaced, then said, “Sorry for not, well, telling you. I just…sorry. I should have.”

“Honestly, kid, don’t sweat it. Shit, if I ended up on a whole ‘nother planet, ancestors know I wouldn’t want to go spreading around I was an alien,” Gavial said, and gave me a somewhat sheepish smile. “Sorry about the whole scare tactics thing. I’m wound a bit tight at the moment. But kid, you have GOT to keep whatever weird alien knowledge you got rattling around in that skull of yours quiet.”

“Uh, yes ma’am, uh, doctor,” I said, feeling more than a little stupid. I mean…it had just…sort of slipped out. High stress moments and all that. 

Sussurro stayed quiet, turning her back on me and picking up the scattered cards. I knelt down beside her and helped, feeling more than a little awkward. When we finished, I managed, “Sorry again.”

“It’s fine. I’m just…re-evaluating. I conducted several of the exams on the Rainbow Six operatives, so I have a basic understanding of your races’ anatomy. I’m just kicking myself for not noticing earlier.”

“Yeah, well…I probably should have told you anyway. You did save my life,” I said, still feeling rather awkward about the whole thing. 

“You barely know us, Dr. McCoy. I don’t blame you for wanting to keep your origins secret.”

“I’ll tell you all about it later, whatever you want to know,” I promised. 

She nodded, though she still seemed rather cold. Apparently, I’d hurt her feelings pretty badly. Well, shit. At least she was being professional about it. 

“So, Operator Sussurro. You’re in command. What do?” Gavial said when we had everything together. 

“We get McCoy out of here. Get him to the evac point, and get him to Rhodes Island, fast. We already conducted several trials with extremely promising results on the other…homo sapiens. So this is of utmost importance.”

“Question,” I said, raising my hand. Sussurro gave me a flat look, but nodded. “Uh, not to sound racist or anything, but…if I’m homo sapiens…what are you two? I don’t want to keep calling you a fox lady and an alligator lady in my head.”

The stony visage cracked, and Sussurro snorted, a smile quirking her lips. “I would be homo vulpo. Gavial is a homo archosauria. Andrey and the other ursus are homo ursus. Any other questions?”

“Are Sarkaz different? Wait, no, never mind, that’s not actually that important. Anyway, I vote we go save Dr. Medvedev.”

“For someone not from around here, you sure are up on your recent scientific literature,” Gavial said, rubbing her chin. She sighed and shook her head. “But, to the second half…I ain’t in charge, but I’m gonna vote no on that one. I’m tough, kid. But when I say I ‘fought’ an Emperor’s Blade before, what I mean is, I ran like hell with everyone else and patched up the ones who survived the encounter. There were two of them, and we have four squads of some of the very best LGD and Rhodes Island operatives. When were were done, we had maybe one and a half squads of effectives, and one squad of LGD was just completely wiped out. That was WITH Ch’en and the Doctor directing things. Fuck, we just got out of their way, it was Tahlulah and Patriot that really scared them off, not us.”

Sussurro looked uncomfortable. “Gavial…Medelev has saved the lives of countless infected. He’s a good man.”

“Yeah, and? You’re the one who just pointed out we got an invaluable research subject here. Someone who can maybe, just maybe, cure oripathy. Do you know how many lives that is worth, Dr. Sussurro?”

“Annually, about ten million people,” Sussurro admitted, looking like she wanted to cry when she said it, tail and ears dropping.

My head spun at that. “Ten…ten million people die of oripathy, a year?!”

“Leading cause of death globally,” Sussurro said quietly. 

“Oh. Fuck,” I said, feeling sick to my stomach. I clutched my head. “Shit. Shit. Shit. This…this is a triage situation, isn’t it?”

“Sorry, kids. But it is.” Gavial rested a hand on both our shoulders, and when she spoke again, there was raw emotion in her voice and tears on her cheeks. I didn’t think they were crocodile ones. “I wanna go save that kind old man too. But we gotta look at the facts. I…I can’t fight an Emperor’s Blade. None of us can. Sussurro, you’re barely qualified in combat beyond being a damn good medic, and McCoy, from what I’ve seen, you’ve got the combat instincts of a newborn fowlbeast.” 

I could only nod at that. I had gotten in a few fights as a kid, never anything serious, just the scuffles boys get into. I’d got my ass whupped every time, even if we had laughed it off after. 

“We’re doctors, all three of us. So is Sergei Medvedev. So, in this situation…medically…morally…what’s the right call? It’s yours to make, Dr. Sussurro. So I’ll abide by whatever you choose. But you have to weigh it all.”

Sussurro was crying now. Ugly crying, with the snot and everything. Shit, I’m not much of a cryer, but I was hiccuping and dabbing at my eyes too. 

“W-we…we can’t. W-we…we have to…we have to let that good old man…we have to let him die…”

“Yeah. We do,” Gavial rasped, then blew her nose loudly and sniffed again. “Fuck. Look, I wanna be the cavalry, and run in there, arts blazing, and rescue that old coot and ride off into the sunset. But we have here an unprecedented opportunity. A chance to save millions of lives. And we can’t throw that away on the off chance we can get Dr. Medvedev out.”

“So, that’s it then,” I said, feeling hopeless. “Sergei’s gonna die, and Ivanka will be a widow.”

Gavial didn’t say anything, just squeezed my shoulder. 

“They tell you that you can’t save every patient,” Sussurro whispered, eyes closed. “And…and I’ve lost some. Oh God. I…I remember Leithanien, those needlefly wounds…I didn’t save everyone…”

“I read that report. You did damn good. Saved a lot of people. Remember those, Lucia. Not…not the ones you didn’t…” Gavial cut herself off and put her forearm to her face, gritting her teeth. Apparently, she’d had patients she hadn’t saved either. 

I swallowed. “I…I never…I haven’t…not yet. This would be…”

“It’s not your fault,” Sussurro said, and to my shock, she hugged me. I closed my eyes, resting my chin on her drooping ears, and squeezed back, hard. “It’s these damned Ursi and their puttana treatment of the infected!”

“We…we’ll change it. Somehow. If you gotta suck all my blood out, or-”

Gavial barked a laugh, and Sussurro and I jerked apart, staring at her in shock.

“Kid, do NOT say that around Warfarin, or you’re in for a WORLD of pain,” she gasped. 

“Uh, yeah, probably not the turn of phrase to use around a vampire, but you get the idea,” I hiccuped, trying to smile. 

Sussurro laughed, scrubbing at her eyes. “Yes. Most assuredly not. And McCoy…”

“James, please.”

“Very well, James. And call me Lucia. Just…don’t sacrifice yourself, OK? Stay alive,” Sussurro said.

I raised an eyebrow. “Coming from the woman who, without a second thought, ran into the infected quarter and gave herself super cancer.”

She reddened at that, and Gavial chuckled. “Guess we all have a bit of a martyr complex, eh? Why else would we become doctors?”

“Well, the pay is pretty good, right?” I joked.

Gavial and Sussurro exchanged looks, then both giggled. It was cute coming from Sussurro, and a bit disturbing from Gavial. 

“James, I’ll have to show you our pay package some time,” Sussurro giggled. 

“Let’s just say I would have made more opening a back alley clinic back in Sargon,” Gavial chuckled. “Anyway. We’re agreed?”

We all sobered up, and I looked to Sussurro. “I frankly don’t know the first thing about how risky this all is. It’s your call. I want to save him, but…if it’s that dangerous…”

Sussurro bit her lip, and I felt really bad for putting the pressure on her. But she nodded. “We have to get you out, James. And even if you weren’t such a high-value target…attracting the attention of an Emperor’s Blade is sheer suicide. Even if we had the full extraction squad to back us up, and there’s no guarantee we will.”

I felt sick, but nodded. “Andrey, though?”

“Kid comes with us. Ivanka too, if we can swing it,” Gavial said firmly. Then grimaced. “Sorry, I should let you make that call.”

“No, no, you’re the one with much more combat experience. My operations have all been non-combat ventures, stressful as they have been,” Sussurro said. “I’ll rely on your instincts in that matter, but I agree we get Andrey and Ivanka out. At the very least, Sergei Medvedev’s wife will survive this.”

After that, we went upstairs and told Igor and Kataya the plan. Andrey did his best to look brave, but I could tell he was terrified. Kataya cried, and Igor looked close to it, but he nodded and gruffly said, “Yes. We will get Ivanka. Sergei…the doctor is out of reach now. I was not knowing how you would rescue him before, but now…it is too risky. Yes. Come. We will make plan.”

I think this will work, though I honestly just shut up as Gavial and Igor mostly came up with the plan, with Sussurro commenting occasionally. This is one big huge clusterfuck. 

Maybe I don’t die today. 

But me living just means someone else has to. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 2

Entry 4 - Day 20

Well. Now I’m not the only one who’s going to die. This is a complete cluster fuck. Why is Terra such a damn mess?! It isn’t enough that I’m going to die a horrible and painful death, now I’m killing other people too!? 

Maybe I’m being too dramatic.  But here’s what happened. 

We ditched the car in a run-down warehouse in the bad part of town, or at least I assumed that by all the garbage piled up and the shanties made out of cardboard and plywood. I won’t lie, I wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on. My mind was sort of arrested on the “I am going to die of super cancer now” part. 

I mean…I guess I had, in a way, known this was going to happen. Like I had said from the get go, I was on Terra, and I was going to fucking die. If I were going to make a list of fictional worlds I would want to live on, Hogwarts would be near the top of that list. You know what’s on the fucking bottom?

Well, OK, it’s Warhammer, but SECOND from the bottom is Terra! I mean I don’t read every bit of text, but just the endings in IS gave me the impression that there’s like, at least four or five global apocaypses that range from “endless hordes of demons in the north trying to eat everyone” to “giant sea monsters trying to Orange Goop everyone.” 

And then, there is the Super Cancer. Which I now had. 

Which I had given to myself. Fuck. 

I wanted to crash out, to spiral into an intense depression and just…end it. I mean, I’m not really someone who usually struggles with anxiety and all that shit. A lot of the people I went to medical school with did struggle with that, and I saw a few who had the potential to be great doctors drop out when the mental pressure just got to be too much. I never did that. 

Then, as we were hiding the car behind the warehouses’ rusted metal shutters, I looked over at Andrey. Keep in mind, kid wasn’t human. Or, well, he was by Terran definitions, but he wasn’t the same species as me. He had fuzzy brown ears, and was wearing blue scrubs with hospital slippers on his feet. He had a stub tail poking out between his shirt and trousers. So, you know, what’s the Japanese word? Kemo something. Anyway, he was a furry. 

But…he was holding my hand. I could feel the warmth in his fingers. When he looked up at me and smiled, I saw the light and life in his eyes. Shit, this was why I had become a doctor. Because I wanted kids like him to be able to get up out of their hospital beds, and be kids again. I wanted to go into neurology because the pay was excellent, yes, but also because I wanted to be able to treat conditions like epilepsy and cerebral palsy. Not because there’s some sob story in my background, but because, well, I remember seeing kids in wheelchairs and thinking, “Why can’t they come play with us?” 

And damn it, even if Andrey WAS a bear-person…he was still a person. He was a kid, just like any other. I wasn’t planning on going into pediatrics specifically, I’ve always preferred working with adult patients as a general rule, but you show me a doctor that won’t bend over to help a sick child and I’ll show you a twisted bastard who’s lost every reason he had to go into medicine. 

If I was being brutally honest with myself, I had known what I was doing when I sucked the oripathy out of Andrey and into myself. I don’t mean that on a technical level, I have no idea how the fuck that worked or how I did it, but I do mean that I sort of understood that I was taking the disease out of him, and putting it in me. 

Yeah, yeah, “Physician, heal thyself” and all that. But Andrey had been dying. Based on the little I know about oripathy, the kid had weeks at best to live, and that existence would have been a pain-wracked, hellish existence. Ursus was NOT kind to the infected. Andrey wouldn’t have been put on a morphine drip as a mercy. He would have been bundled away to the gulag and left to rot in his own feces until he exploded into crystal dust in a hole in the ground. 

Well fuck that. Shit, if the only thing I do in this life that has any meaning or value will be that I saved this kid from that, then my life was worth living. Then I did something that mattered, and fuck it, I was a damn good doctor to boot. 

Now I just had to make sure that he got to enjoy that life. Somehow. 

“Alright, come on, we got some supplies stashed not far from here,” Gavial said, turning away from her handiwork. “See, Lucia? I told you a backup plan was a good idea!” 

“Yes, yes, you’re very smart, Doctor Gavial,” Sussurro said with a heavy sigh. “I’m not exactly a FNG here myself.”

“Heh! Right this way, you two!” 

Gavial led us further into the warehouse, where she uncovered what looked like a pile of trash, but turned out to contain a couple of dufflebags with Rhodes Island markings. 

“Hmm, Lucia’s stuff should fit Andrey, but I’m not too sure about you, McCoy. You’re a tall bastard, aren’t you?” she said, holding up a jacket. She shrugged. “Eh, it’s better than nothing. Here, try these on.”

The jacket and clothes turned out to be a bit small on me, but there were a pair of sweat pants that though they stopped at my ankles, fit me alright. I blushed a bit at undressing infront of two of some of the more beautiful women I had ever seen. Alligator tail and fuffy fox ears aside, Gavial and Sussurro are both smokin’ hot. Maybe not even aside, really. Fuck, I’m not a furry, I swear! 

Except for Waai Fu. That woman would change anyone’s mind. 

Anyway, I figured they were just colleges at this point, and I’d had to change in front of nurses and other doctors before, so I pulled the clothes on. Turns out, my feet are about the same size as Gavial’s, as the pair of combat boots the bag contained fit me alright. She’s not that tall, but I guess her feet are extra huge to kick ass, though I’m only a size 10 1/2. 

The other thing the bag contained were weapons. Sussurro picked out a small crossbow, while Gavial hoisted a fire axe and a machete. 

“What, no giant chain axe?” I asked her.

“Nope! Had to leave Health and Wellness elsewhere. They’re too bulky to smuggle into a city like this. But a couple of ordinary tools didn’t draw too much attention,” Gavial said with a wide grin. 

“Is the axe Health, or Wellness?” I asked, grinning slightly. I knew she’d be the type to give her weapons dopey names.

“My axe is Health, Wellness is the chainsaw. I have to say, though, I was surprised when you called me Doctor Gavial earlier. Most people just assume I’m dumb muscle,” Gavial said, frowning at me. 

“He recognized me as well. Are you actually a medical intern I somehow forgot about? Warfarin didn’t know anything about you either when we called her,” Sussurro said, looking up from helping Andrey change. Her clothes were just a little bit big on the kid, but she’d rolled up his pant legs and used a safety pin to hold it in place. 

“Uh, I did my research on Rhodes Island,” I said, which was true. Ish. “Me being a medical intern there was more…aspirational? So I’m familiar with most of the more prominent members of the Medical Department, and some of your leadership.” Though the real question was where in the hell on the timeline I was. Was the Old Well still around, or had she been replaced by Monst3r already? That hadn’t happened in EN yet, but I had seen some spoilers to that effect. 

“Huh, well, you’re lucky you’re kinda cute, kid,” Gavial said, leaning against the wall. “But you got some explaining to do. You too, Lucia. Why the hell did you have me charging in with security hot on your heels? Is it just because you’re infected? But you acted like you didn’t know.”

“I’d like an explanation for what I saw as well,” Sussurro said. “But make it fast. Two infected escaping from the hospital with Rhodes Island’s help is not going to go over well with the city's authorities. Nor will the Grand Theft Auto. They’ll turn out the Infected Patrol in force.”

“W-was it my fault?” Andrey asked, his voice small. 

All three adults turned to him, and I knelt down in front of him. “No, Andrey. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just infected.”

“D-does that mean…am I going to die?” Andrey asked, tears filling his eyes. “T-they’ll take me away from ma’am, a-and lock me in the gulag! B-but I was good! I-I shouldn’t have been-”

“No, Andrey,” Sussurro said, giving the boy a hug. “We’re going to take you to Rhodes Island. We have treatments for Oripathy there. Being infected doesn’t make you bad or evil. It’s alright. In fact, I don’t see any signs of infection at this point, so whatever Doctor McCoy did, it lessened your symptoms. But I need to know what it is he did.”

“I don’t rightly know myself,” I admitted, opening my right hand and looking down at the black crystals embedded in the skin there. They ached slightly, like scar tissue, only worse. “When I examined Andrey, I could feel the Oripathy in him.”

“Feel it?” Sussurro said, her ears twitching slightly as she turned to look at me, Andrey clutched to her chest. The boy was almost as tall as she was, but he regarded me with wide, curious eyes. 

“Yeah, it was like…here.” I extended my hand to her, and she let Andrey go, though he and Gavial both hovered near me. “Do you mind?”

“No, go ahead,” she said, lowering her collar to reveal more crystal scaring along her right clavicle. 

I ran my hand over that and over her chest, ignoring the fact that she was a woman for a moment, and treating her like a patient. “Yeah, I can…feel this as well. Your infection it’s not progressed as far as Andrey’s. Stage One?” 

“My last exam showed 2% cell integration, and my BOD is 0.3u/L. I got treatment right away, my infection is controlled,” Sussurro confirmed. 

I stood, and nodded to Gavial. “May I?” 

She nodded, lifting her shirt to show black crystals on her own abdomen. I ran my hand over her belly, nodding to myself. “Hmm, higher cell integration, but I’m not sensing as much internally. I’d guess…about .25u/L, and say…15% cell integration?” 

I was actually guessing. I know those stats are in the operator files on my phone, but I can’t boot up the game, and I never read that shit. I didn’t play Arknights for the depressing medical lore, I did it for cute waifus and the excellent gameplay. 

“Close! It’s .27u/L and 15.3% integration, but the fact that you got that close off of rubbing my belly is impressive. If he can do that, I know why you wanted him, Lucia!” 

“That’s not why. I walked into a room full of blood and screams, with your hands glowing and Andrey dead on the table,” Sussurro said, folding her arms and frowning at me. “What, exactly, did you do?”

Andrey whimpered, and I turned to the kid. “I drew the infection out. I could feel it inside of him. Andrey, come here a minute?” 

He hesitantly came forward, but he let me run my hand over his arm and then lift his shirt to feel his abdomen. “I can’t sense any crystals here now. I remember…I drew the crystals out, but then I had to re-knit his organs.”

“Re-knit his organs? You’re that good with arts?” Gavial said, looking astounded. 

“No, can’t use arts at all. Unless I-” On a whim, I put my hands on Sussurro again, and she let me, her eyes slightly wide. I could definitely feel the pulsing crystal there.  “Mind if I try again?”

“Let…let me take off my shirt first,” she stammered. “Gavial, if you would?” 

“Sure, sure,” she took Andrey, and Sussurro removed her shirt. She had on a standard bra underneath, so she was modest, and I hastily got some gauze from the medical bags. I had Sussurro sit, and knelt by her. “Ok, I’ll try not to make too much of a mess.”

“Just…try. I want to see if-” She screamed as I yanked. Once more, I could feel the power, and reknit her wounds as I removed the crystal. I made to move on to her organs, but she grabbed my hand.

“Stop. Stop. That’s…that’s enough. Let me see your hand.”

There was still blood, though not as much, as there hadn’t been as much to remove, and I’d been quicker on healing it this time. I held out my palm, and Sussurro used her fingers to measure. 

“They’ve grown. Gavial! Come here, examine me,” Sussurro ordered. 

Gavial came over and knelt down, examining Sussurro’s clavicle, then swore. “Tails of my foremothers, it’s gone! Holy shit, did he just yank the originium right out of you? But, you can do that surgically; it just makes things worse. How…”

“We’ll need a full examination back at the landship,” Sussurro said, quickly redressing. “But whatever he’s doing, it’s no arts I’ve ever seen before. Not even from either of the Old Hags.”

I snorted despite myself. Warfarin and Kal’tsit were never going to escape those memes. 

There was a crash behind us, and Gavial snarled, leaping to her feet, the machete and axe appearing in her hands as if from nowhere. Sussurro had her crossbow in her hands in a moment, and I grabbed Andrey, who started crying. 

“Please, no, I-I was just, I didn’t hear anything!” a man’s voice babbled. 

“Ah, shit. Get over here, you three,” Gavial sighed, standing up from the bundle of rags she’d tackled. It turned out to be a middle-aged homeless guy, with a jaundiced face and the paunch and reddened palms of a longtime heavy drinker. This guy was going to die of cirrhosis, and soon. 

Sussurro sighed on seeing the frantic man. “Well, what do we do?”

“Get him to quit drinking,” I said, nudging a bottle of vodka that had slipped from his jacket. “I don’t think we need a biopsy, but I’m willing to bet a quick blood screener and some imaging would show severe liver damage.”

Gavial actually laughed at that one, while Sussurro gave me a pained look. “I meant, what do we do with him now that he’s overheard our conversation, Dr. McCoy.”

“Oh, uh…” I blinked, then felt sick. “We can’t just kill him! What happened to ‘First, Do No Harm?!’” 

The man started blubbering, and it only got worse when Gavial mused aloud, “I was never very good at that part. But, nah, don’t worry, kid. We’re not going to just axe this guy. Now, what did you hear?”

“Nothing, I heard and I saw nothing!” the man whined, and Gavial grimaced and shifted away from him as an ammonia-scented puddle began to form. 

“Well, keep it that way. Tell you what, you go sleep off whatever ails you in that nice warm car there, OK?” Gavial said, nodding to the cab. 

The man blinked, then scrambled over and got into the car, slamming the door behind him. I think I heard a faint click as he locked the door. Not that something so flimsy would help against Gavial. 

“He’s going to tell the whole town what he heard for a bottle of booze, isn’t he?” I said, shaking my head. 

“Yep,” Gavial said, sounding exhausted. “But there’s no good way to shut him up. However…”

She walked over and banged on the window. “Now listen here, you pathetic flea-bag! If you breathe so much of a WORD about even SEEING us to ANYONE, I will PERSONALLY hunt you down and skin you for a totem! You hear me?!”

There was the sound of faint weeping, and Gavial turned around and walked over, dropping her voice and shrugging. “He’ll at least stay hidden for a few minutes after we leave. Come on, let’s make like a bread truck and get the hell out of here.”

“Don’t you mean…haul buns?” I asked as I picked up the duffle bags and slung them over my shoulder. 

“Eh, I’m not so good with idioms in Ursi. Either way we need to make ourselves scarce. Gotta get somewhere we can radio for extraction. This was just supposed to be an easy pick up, and I don’t think we’ll make it back to our vehicle.”

“What were you doing in Shiraziberg, anyway?” I asked as we hurried out the back of the warehouse and into an alleyway. 

“We were in Dzwonek, down in Kazimierz, finishing up setting up a clinic there. We heard the call about a lost intern of ours, and Gavial decided it sounded interesting enough for two infected to risk going into Ursus,” Sussurro said, glancing up at her taller companion as we jogged through the alley, Andrey doing a manful job of keeping up. 

“As I recall, you were the bleeding heart who refused to leave anyone behind. We thought we’d lost everyone on that caravan to get infected out of Ursus when it ran into an unexpected Catastrophe,” Gavial commented, and Sussurro shrugged, not arguing with the allegations. 

“We’re both bleeding hearts. But, I take it you weren’t on that expedition at all, were you?” Sussurro said, glancing at me. 

I winced. “Uh, no, I wasn’t.”

“La mia anziana nonna, this is a wild goose chase,” Sussurro sighed. Interesting. Babel fish didn’t pick that one up. Guess it just did Bear-Russian? “Well, it doesn’t matter now. Whoever you are, you’re coming back to Rhodes Island with us.”

“I’ll break your legs and haul you in myself, or as an alternative, you can remain ambulatory and walk in under your own power!” Gavial said cheerfully. 

“I was sort of planning on that?” I said, frowning down at Andrey.

He giggled, then said in a loud whisper, “Don’t worry, she looks scary, but she’s only mean if you don’t eat your vegetables!” 

“Ha-ha! I knew I liked you two!” Gavial said cheerfully. “So, know any good high-powered comms towers we could borrow to radio for extraction?” 

“Not really,” I admitted, then paused. “But…I might know someone who would help us…”

It took a bit of time to make our way back across town, so even though this had all started in the early morning, we did manage to find our way back to the Medvedev residence. I would have just stumbled up to the door and knocked, but Sussurro grabbed me and sat me down. 

“We watch, first. They might have this place staked out since you stayed here,” Sussurro said. “For at least ten minutes.”

We were all footsore and exhausted, so we sat down in the alleyway cross from the townhouse and watched for a bit from behind a dumpster. Andrey was so exhausted that he passed out, leaning up against me and snoring softly. The kid hadn’t complained much all day, he was a tough guy, though Gavial and I had needed to take turns carrying him throughout the journey. 

“You do stakeouts often?” I whispered to Sussurro as she peered at the house. 

“Not really. I rarely go on away missions, I usually work treating patients on Rhodes Island,” Sussurro said, her eyes still fixed on the house. “Gavial is the one with field expertise.”

“Eh, gets boring waiting around on the landship,” Gavial said around a mouthful of ration bar. I’d had a couple earlier, and while tasty was not the way to describe them, they weren’t that bad. Not what I’d pick for an after workout snack, but they did the job. “Besides, you were the one who asked me to come on this one.”

“Director Kal’tsit wanted me to get the clinic set up, take on more of a leadership role, and you’ve the most field experience in the medical department, so I asked you to help,” Sussurro said with a shrug.

“How long have the two of you been with Rhodes Island?” I asked out of curiosity. 

“Both of us for four years, we joined about the same time,” Sussurro said. “Though Gavial is the more experienced doctor. I’ve just barely completed my residency.”

“Eh, debatable. I worked as a merc after getting my medical license in Shar-Agade. Trust me, they weren’t nearly as rigorous as a Siracusan medical school. Or Rhodes Island. I don’t really consider what I did before I came on board proper doctoring.”

“I’ve still learned a lot from you,” Sussurro said, turning her head and smiling. “I’m glad you came. I’d be completely lost trying to do this on my own.”

“Well, you’re a real doctor now, and since you work for Rhodes Island, that means you need field seasoning!” Gavial chuckled. She tossed her wrapper aside and wiped her mouth, standing. “Alright, enough moping. I’ve been watching the place. No suspicious vehicles, no nothing. So let’s give this a shot.”

 I picked up the still-sleeping Andrey, and together, we snuck across the street. I hastily knocked on the door. There was a light still on, so I figured Sergei and Ivanka were still up.

There was a patter of footsteps, and the door swung open. “Sergei?! Sergei is it- Oh! James?!” Ivanka looked at me, then my companions, then hastily stepped aside, motioning us in. “Quickly, inside, they may come back!” 

We all hurried in, and Ivanka looked around, then shut the door behind us. “James, what happened?! Oh, never mind, you all look exhausted, and I have an idea. You must be those doctors from Rhodes Island. In here, quickly, I’ve got hot soup on the stove.”

The house was a mess, and I could tell something was seriously wrong. Ivanka kept an immaculate home, but paintings hung askew, closets had piles of things in front of them, and there were broken shards in corners. She led us into the kitchen and seated us at the dining room table, with Andrey blinking sleepily and sitting up as Ivanka ladled up big bowls of hot soup, along with big hunks of black bread. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Medvedev. Has something happened to Dr. Medvedev?” I asked quietly as she sat down with us. 

Tears entered her eyes, and she had to dab at them with a napkin. None of us touched the soup. “They…they took Sergei, James. I never thought…the Infected Patrol, they came. Said he was sheltering the infected. They searched the whole house, I haven’t even cleaned the whole place yet. I don’t know how they learned that we’ve hidden Infected before, but-”

“Wait, you’ve sheltered Infected?!” I gasped, shocked. 

She gave me a pained look. “I thought you were one of them, at first. That’s how Sergei knew to contact Rhodes Island. Sometimes, when he finds a patient who’s Infected, and he can keep it quiet, he brings them home and hides them. We contact Rhodes Island, and they come and pick up the Infected and smuggle them out.”

“That’s one reason we were willing to come so far out of our way to pick you up. As a favor to Dr. Medvedev,” Sussurro clarified. “It’s always gone smoothly before, from what I’ve heard at least.”

“Haven’t done a hand off myself before, but yet. There’s more than one kind doc or priest who’ll give us a shout if they find an Infected soul before the Special Patrol does,” Gavial said with a nod. “If he said he found an interesting potential medical intern who was in trouble, well, we’re willing to try to help him out.”

I felt numb. I’d just thought Sergei was a mostly harmless old coot who’d been kind to a fellow professional. But it turned out he was operating some kind of underground railroad for the infected.

“They didn’t find anything, of course, you weren’t here, and the last one we had, a nice young woman named Yelaniza, she left more than a month ago. So I was hoping they’d just let Sergei go,” Ivanka said, dabbing at her eyes. 

“Palnakayo,” Gavial grunted. She grimaced and glanced at Andre. “Don’t repeat that. Right. So, now we’ve got to get Sergei out too.”

“No! You must leave, the Infected Patrol will be looking for you! Sergei and I knew what risks we ran when we started this,” Ivanka said urgently. “I see the boy now, he’s the infected one?”

“Something like that,” Sussurro agreed. “We’ve got to get him out, and McCoy out as well. But we’ll see what we can do for your husband. You have a radio set here?”

“We did, they found it and took it,” Ivanka said, looking morose. Then she brightened. “But I do have a friend, Igor Vladimirovich. He has a powerful radio set he would let me borrow.”

“The Patrol know about him?” Gavial asked, and Ivanka shook her head. 

“No, no. He’s a member of our little group. We helped get his nephew out when he was infected. He’s helped us from time to time. He would gladly risk it to send a radio message, especially to help Sergei.”

“Alright. I’ll write out a coded message for him to send and the frequency. It’ll be days or weeks before we can get evac’d. In fact, if we can stay with this Igor, that might be for the best. We’ll try and get you and your husband out, Ivanka,” Gavial said. Then she picked up her bowl of soup in her hands, lifted it to her lips, and drained it dry. “Ah! Eat up, everyone! We’re going to need our strength for what comes next!” 

We all guzzled our soup, then Ivanka wrote out a note and directions for us. She would go to stay with friends and lay low, while we ran to Igor’s house. It was a bit risky going out at night, but it was even riskier to stay put. 

Igor turned out to be a gruff old bear of a man, and I mean that in a literal sense. He was another one who looked more like a furry, appearing to be a grizzled old bear with spectacles. 

“Why you knocking so late?” he growled at us around a chain. “I would not be opening the door if not for seeing the boy. What is this about?” 

Sussurro passed him the note, and he shut the door. A few moments later, he opened it again. “Inside, quickly. Infected Patrol has not come to see me yet, and I would like to be keeping it that way, yes?” 

We followed him inside. “Kataya, we are having guests. I will be down in the basement,” he called. He had a thick accent that didn’t sound like the others I’d heard. Rural upbringing, maybe?

A beautiful middle-aged woman with not bear ears, but cat ones, poked her head out of a bedroom, clutching a nightgown. “Oh, hello! I will make some tea.”

Igor lit a lantern and led us down into a cellar, pulling out some blankets. “We have been having guests before. So. They got the doctor, did they?” 

For a brief moment, my exhaustion made me think he was talking about the Ghost of Babel himself, but then I shook my head. “Yeah. They took Dr. Medvedev. He covered for me to escape with Andrey here.”

“No names. I do not want to be knowing your names. Better that way if they find me,” Igor said. He smiled at Andrey, though. “Be brave. These are good people. They will make you better, keep you safe, little cub. Do not fear.”

“Yes, uncle,” Andrey said with a sleepy nod. 

“Good. I will be making this radio call tomorrow. Not tonight. They are being suspicious if they pick me up broadcasting at this hour. But during the day? No one is noticing. This I have done many times before. You are staying here, in this basement. No leaving. Hopefully, no one is seeing you come in. People in this neighborhood, they are good at not seeing things. Many of them, they work in the factories, yes? Accidents happen. People get Infected. But the doctor…he is helping them. Like my niece Olga and her husband. Good people. So, you are staying here, yes?”

“Yes, thank you, Mr. Vladimirovich. You’ve been more than kind,” Sussurro said. 

Igor grunted. “Just you be saving the good doctor. He is not deserving what the Special Patrol will be doing to him. No one is.”

He left the lantern, then climbed back up the stairs. A few minutes later, Kataya came down with tea, her long tail swishing behind her. “Here, to keep you warm before bed, and some milk for the child.”

“I’m…oh. No names?” Andrey said, looking crestfallen. 

Kataya rubbed his head between his ears and smiled sadly. “No names, little one. It is safer that way. I can’t tell them what I don’t know. And if they got Dr. Medvedev… they can get anyone. He was so careful…”

She stood, holding her tray to her chest, tears in her eyes. “I will bring down breakfast. It won’t be much, but-”

“Hey, here,” Gavial said, digging out a wad of Lungmen Credits. “Take ‘em. Don’t think of it as payment, but as an investment. You helped us, you can help others. Sorry, don’t have rubles, but I bet a smart lady like you knows how to trade these.”

“I…yes. Thank you,” Kataya made the credits vanish. “Good night. Don’t worry, my Igor is brusque, but he is tenderhearted. He will call your friends.”

Then she went up the stairs and closed the trapdoor behind her. 

After that, we were all so tired, it was time for bed. We all conked out pretty fast, or at least I did once the lantern was put out. When I woke up the next day, there wasn’t much to do, so I typed this up. Igor came down a bit ago and said he sent the message, so now all there is to do is wait for backup. 

Fuck. My hand hurts. I can feel that oripathy in my system. Gavial and Sussurro gave me and Andrey a more thorough exam with their field kits. Get your minds out of the gutter, it was completely professional. Verdict is…kind of incredible. My levels are clearly infected: 0.34u/L and obvious lesions. Andrey’s though? Kid’s is 0.05u/L. And the field test has a margin of error of 0.075/L. 

“McCoy, you may very well have actually cured him of Oripathy,” Sussurro said quietly to me as Gavial played cards with Andrey using a pack Kataya had given us.

“What?! That’s impossible. No one can cure oripathy, not even Rhodes Island,” I hissed back. “And I’m a damn doctor, so I should know!” 

“We tested my levels as well. I’m down to .19 u/L. That’s barely infected,” she said, shaking her head slightly. “Whatever you did to me…it worked better than the very best medical techniques Rhodes Island has to offer.”

“That’s great! Should I finish doing it, see if I can-”

“No! Absolutely not!” Sussurro hissed at me, her ears perking up and tail standing on end. “McCoy, we don’t know WHAT you did. If it does work. We DO know that not only did it give you oripathy, doing it again exacerbated your condition. Until we get to a lab, you are under no conditions to use that ability again, do you hear me?”

“Look, I didn’t know what it would do, or that it would give me oripathy! So no, I don’t plan on ever using it again,” I lied. A few images flashed in my head. Lisa, and her bright smile, that deserved all the headpats in the world. Eyjafjalla, and the world slowly dimming for her as she lost her sight and hearing. Ifrit, that crazy pyro who was just a kid, but if I remembered right was the most infected operator, and close to death. 

And then there was Amiya, Blaze, Specter, Ceobe…the list just goes on and on. Shit, if I could cure them of oripathy? Even if it meant my own death…

I’ve got a lot to think about. 

But I’m pretty sure I’m going to fucking die. I just hope I live long enough to do it on my own terms. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Arknights SI

Entry 1 - Day 0

I am going to fucking die. 

If I don’t die from Super Cancer, I’m going to die of malnutrition, or possibly exposure. And if that doesn’t get me, I’ll be killed for my shoes or coat, or because I looked at the wrong person funny. If somehow I manage to not get mugged, I’ll die instead from being killed by yet another brutal government crackdown for the high crime of…existing, I guess? Oh, and if the lastest progrom doesn’t get me, maybe the extra-dimensional demon invasion will kill me instead. 

Assuming, of course, I am not already dead and this is just my dying hallucination before my brain runs out of oxygen. 

If you’re reading this, somehow, consider this the last will and testament of James McCoy. Doctor James McCoy, actually. Fuck me. I survived medical school for this? 

If you’re wondering how I know that I am going to die, it’s simple. I’m on Terra. Even better, near as I can tell, I’m in Ursus, in the city of Shiraziberg (wherever the fuck that is). On Terra, life is brutal, and in Urusus, life is cheap. At least the vodka is cheap too, though I’m not inclined to give myself steatosis. There are enough ways for me to die already. 

Now, you may be wondering, “James, what’s the big deal? Plenty of people live in Ursus, and they do just fine. As long as they’re not Infected. You’re not Infected, are you James?”

I sure as shit hope not, but here’s where the sudden twist comes: I ain’t an Ursus. Ursine? Whatever. I don’t got bear ears. Or whatever the fuck they’d call them here. You see, I’m just a regular old Homo Sapien. We only have one set of ear, no feathers, or scales, or any other animal bits like the natives here do. I showed up here last week. Bit of an unplanned trip. 

How? Doesn’t fucking matter. But I know Terra, even if I’ve never been here. 

And I’m going to fucking die. 

Entry 2 - Day 6

Well, it’s been a couple of days, and I’m not dead. An impressive win streak for myself that I do hope to continue. It seems to be summertime, or what passes for it here in wonderful Shiraziberg. It’s actually warm enough that I’ve been sleeping in alleyways and on park benches and surviving. Or, well, I was doing that. Somehow, things have gotten better. 

I’m still shocked an Emperor’s Blade hasn’t shown up and killed me. That would be just my luck. 

Anyway, for the first few days, I was living rough. Eating out of trash cans, staying low, trying to not go completely fucking crazy. My phone didn’t get any signal, so not only could I not do my dailies, but I couldn’t communicate with anyone. I’ve been journaling on it, fun! My one way of trying to keep my sanity. Too bad I can’t use it to farm 1-7. Ha ha, funny in joke, please laugh. 

I had no contacts and no money that anyone would accept, and I was scared shitless, so I stayed out of the way. Interestingly, I spoke the local lingo, despite the fact that I very much do not speak Russian. I am passingly fluent in Spanish, but you can thank Mr. Carrasco for that. I guess these bears speak English? Only, not really? I can sort of tell I’m not speaking English, but there’s a Babel Fish or something in my ear that helps me out. 

Well, after a few days of lying low, I was starting to calm down and thinking things were going to be alright. I was shuffling about, trying not to look conspicuous, but it was hard. My clothes, well, they don’t stick out like a sore thumb, but they’re a bit off. A decent jacket, slacks, and nice running shoes. At least I wasn’t wearing scrubs. The atmosphere here is…dingy. This is a factory city or something, and there’s soot everywhere and the air quality is shit. I thankfully had a few N95 masks in my pocket, old habit, so I had one of those on to filter the air a bit. 

As I was walking, I heard a scream and shattering glass, and I knew something bad had happened by the way people were shouting. I swore, but I started running in the direction of the commotion, pushing my way through the crowd that had gathered. Sure enough, there on the ground, was a young boy, about 10 or so. They were installing windows on the building above us, and a pane of glass had fallen and shattered. It thankfully hadn’t hit the kid directly, but there were shards of glass in his chest, left arm, and right leg. Some of them not inconsiderably small. 

I guess they don’t do safety glass in Ursus. 

I was already pulling on my gloves and pulling out the small first aid kit I take with my everywhere. I shouted, “Doctor, step aside!” and people listened. There was a crying woman next to the boy, his mother, I guessed. 

“Hello, I’m Doctor James McCoy. Is this your son?” I asked the woman as I did a quick visual exam. There was blood, and a lot of it, and glass everywhere. I had to approach carefully so I didn’t end up with a cut myself. The woman had a fragment of glass in her hand, but it was small and superficial. It could have cut a tendon, but it was obviously a low priority. 

“I, yes, this is my Kolya. Doctor, please, you must help him!” 

“I’ll do what I can, ma’am,” I said, and took out my scissors and cut away the boy’s jacket. There were plenty of fragments in his chest, but that didn’t explain the heavy bleeding. Some of those were serious, but I wasn’t going to mess with them. This wasn’t the time or place to be pulling out glass shards. “Any pre-existing conditions I should be aware of?”

“No, none!” 

I nodded. That was good. The problem was the leg. I pulled my belt off, making another quick cut to confirm my suspicion. Yep, large fragment, right along the medial side of his right femur. It had cut the femoral artery. 

“I’m going to need to apply a tourniquet,” I told the woman, wrapping the belt around the leg and gritting my teeth as I tightened it as much as I could. The blood flow eased, then stopped, and I secured the tourniquet, then continued to triage. 

The wounds were tricky: You don’t want to pull out the glass shards and potentially cause more damage, and some of those could have been quite deep. However, he was breathing alright, even if he was getting tachycardic. Taking off my jacket, I grimaced at losing my one warm piece of clothing, but I used it to stabilize the head and neck as I bandaged the cuts there. He’d hit his head on the pavement when he’d fallen, and I was pretty worried about a serious head injury on top of everything else. After that, I quickly bandaged the wounds on the arm, one fragment of glass had completely penetrated the lower arm between the radius and the ulna and was sticking out the other side, but seemed to have miraculously missed the anterior crural interosseous, though it was still bleeding pretty badly. 

That done, I did what I could to apply pressure to the chest wounds. Didn’t look like a lung had been punctured, rib cage was doing its job, but it was still massive trauma in the right pectoral and, oof, the hypogastric region. Pray God that it didn’t puncture the intestines. 

I was feeling pretty damn out of my depth and hopeless. I may have graduated from medical school and earned the title of Doctor, but I hadn’t started my residency yet, and this was the sort of thing you would see in a nightmare ER scenario. 

So involved in treatment was I that I completely missed it when the ambulance arrived after what felt like forever. Two EMTs hopped out, masked and gloved up. I nodded to them, and briefed them. 

“I’m Doctor James McCoy. We’ve got a severed left femoral artery, proximal to the kneecap. I’ve applied a tourniquet. Possible head trauma, recommend full spinal stabilization.” I ran through the rest of it, then paused. The medics were working, getting the kid on a body board, but they were looking at me expectantly. I searched for a moment, then kicked myself. 

“No sign of oriopathy, but recommend standard anti-infection protocols until the labs come back.”

“What?! My Kolya is not one of those filthy infected!” the mother said, but the EMTs relaxed visibly at my words. That was what they had been waiting for. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” one of them, a woman by her voice, hard to tell in the bulky safety gear, “Do you want to continue treatment?”

“I…” I hesitated. But then nodded. This was my patient. Sort of my first patient as a real doctor. “Yes. I’ll ride along to the trauma center.” 

The EMTs nodded, and I hopped into the ambulance with them. Not my first ride in an ambulance, even as a practitioner. My first had been when I was 12 and got a concussion falling out of a tree, but I’d been on a few more since then. We still didn’t take out the glass, but we did start the kid on a transfusion and applied a better tourniquet, so I got my belt back. It was slick with blood, so I just put it in a hazard bag. 

Interestingly, while everything wasn’t in exactly the same place as it would have been back home, the tools and materials were all very familiar. The ride was rather bumpy, the roads in this city were actively shit, but we made it to the hospital. 

We did the handover to the ER docs, and I breathed out a heavy sigh of relief. I went to go clean off and get out of my now blood-stained clothes, when an older gentleman with white tufts on his fuzzy ears stopped me. 

“Here, you will be needing a change of clothes, yes?” he said, and handed me a pair of scrubs. 

“Yeah, thanks,” I agreed, accepting them gratefully. 

He eyed the state of my clothes, which were wrinkled and more than a little stained from being worn continuously for several days. “Did it happen in an alleyway?”

“Busy street, actually. I, uh, tripped and fell earlier,” I said by way of excuse. 

“Hmm,” he nodded, and let me get changed. I bagged up my clothes, wondering what the hell I was going to do with them, then stepped out. To my surprise, the old guy was still there. 

“Thank you…Doctor Medvedev,” I said, reading the name tag. 

“It is no trouble, Doctor McCoy,” he said with a smile. His name tag said he was…I think the equivalent of a senior attending, or something? “Physician of the highest category” was what my Babel Fish was giving me, though the actual term was “Врач высшей категории.” 

“That is an unusual name,” Doctor Medvedev said as I walked towards the exit. “Please, for our records, might I see your papers?”

I slowed, then grimaced. “I…don’t have mine.”

That was a lie, my license, newly minted, was in my wallet. It’s just that it was a California Medical Lisence, and wouldn’t mean shit here. 

“Ah. That is most troubling. You are not impersonating a physician, are you? That is a most serious crime.”

I sighed and turned to Doctor Medvedev. “Look, I saved Kolya’s life. Maybe not the most impressive doctoring ever, but I was being a good Samaritan. I’m not trying to con my way into a job. Honestly, I probably should have just walked by, because, well, I don’t have any papers proving who I am. Not that you’d recognize, anyway. But, well, I took the Hippocratic Oath, same as you, and I couldn’t leave a little boy to bleed out on the street.”

“Hippocratic Oath?” the old doctor’s brow furrowed, and I kicked myself. I began to sweat. 

“Uh, you know,” I then recited not the Oath I’d taken when I graduated from UCLA Medical School, but one that I was familiar with due to my gambling addiction. “‘May I enjoy my life and practice my art, respected by all men and in all times.’” 

Hearing that, Medvedev’s dark expression cleared, and he smiled. “Ah, why didn’t you say you were with Rhodes Island? Yes, I respect your work in Oripathy Treatment a great deal, even if it’s not popular here in Ursus. Though I do understand why you would, perhaps, not wish to show your papers.”

“Uh, thanks,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah, I sort of…didn’t want to spread that around. I know RI isn’t popular everywhere, and, well, neither are people from Columbia.” 

If Ursus was basically Russia, but somehow worse, then Columbia was more or less America, but with that Manifest Destiny cranked up to 11 and with extra exploitation. I hoped I could pass for Colombian. It was mainly populated by…shit, bird people? What were they called again? Anyway, I could probably pass for a frog person, since it was pretty hard to tell them apart from humans from what I remembered, and I THINK there were some in Colombia? I probably should have read more and pulled less, honestly. 

“Hmmm. There isn’t a Rhodes Island outpost here in Shiraziberg. And unless I miss my guess, you’ve been living rough, Doctor McCoy. How did you end up here?”

“I was supposed to go to Kawalerielki in Kazimeriez. But, there was an unexpected Catastrophe, followed by bandit attacks. I’m actually just a Resident, I was supposed to work in the Rhodes Island clinic there. I was studying for a specialty as a neurologist, especially working with the Infected,” I explained, making half of that up on the spot. I had been very interested in Neurobiology, mostly because neurologists make a fuck ton of money, and it would make sense that if you were going to study oripathy that neurology would be one path forward there.” 

“Hmm, interesting, I usually see those who want to study oripathy take the vascular route, but the effects of oripathy on the nervous system are certainly something we could afford to better understand,” Dr. Medvedev said, stroking his short salt and pepper beard. He nodded. “So, you’ve graduated medical school, then?”

“Trimount University Medical School,” I said with a nod, praying he wouldn’t look too hard into that. And that it was a real place. Turns out it is, by the by. 

“Very good, very good. Hmm. Well, I take it you don’t have any papers or contacts?” 

“No, sir.” I let my shoulders slump and scrubbed my face with my hands, letting just how defeated and tired I was shine through. “And I’ve lost all my papers, and I have no idea how to even begin to get in contact with anyone.”

“Well, at least you speak Ursine quite well. You have a bit of a Colombian accent, but not too bad,” Medvedev said with a nod. “Here, I’ll take you to the cafeteria and get you something warm to eat while I consider what to do with you.”

He was as good as his word, and while the food was, well, pretty bad hospital food, I’d never tasted anything so good, and wolfed down two portions. As I ate. Dr. Medvedev, who told me to call him Sergei, asked me a few basic medical questions. I could tell he was checking my credentials, and I did my best to answer. I think I probably flunked the oripathy questions pretty hard, and admitted my studies in that area were poor, but I think I did OK on the rest. Some of the harder ones baffled me, and I had to admit I had no idea what those presenting conditions would mean, but he seemed to accept that a first-year resident wouldn’t know this stuff. 

“I have some contacts who are familiar with Rhodes Island,” he said when I was done eating. “Not strong, but they are the experts in oripathy treatment, and while that is not my speciality, I try to keep up.”

“Even with how the Infected are treated in Urusus?” I asked, then bit my tongue. Probably not the right thing to ask.

He grimaced, glanced around, then leaned forward. “I do not approve of how my nation treats the infected. Oripathy is dangerous, yes, but it’s not an easily transmissible disease, as the peasants believe.”

“Not until the very late stages, before that, even basic precautions are enough,” I said with a nod. “And if it’s acute or that terminal…well, there are signs, and they can be quarantined.”

“Yes. We should do more to help them than simply send them to the gulag. So, I will reach out to my contacts. In the meantime, I will have you help me at my own private clinic. I am getting old, and there are always more patients than I can see. Plus, it will help you continue your training.” 

“Thank you, sir. Is the clinic here in the hospital?” I asked, feeling truely grateful.

“Yes, I mostly work in cardiology. Not your chosen speciality, but if you want to work with the Infected…”

“A solid understanding of the vascular system and cardiology would definitely be of benefit,” I agreed. 

“As for where you can stay…my wife and I are alone now, our sons moved out a decade ago, but we keep a spare room. You’re welcome to stay with us.”

I could not believe my luck. And, so, for the past couple of days, I’ve stayed with Sergi and Ivanka Medvedev. Ivanka is an old babushka who really wants someone to mother, and has picked me. From the pictures I’ve seen, their boys are both at least a decade and a half older than I am, and married to boot. One’s a business manager of some kind, the other a bureaucrat, both work in other cities. Communication on Terra is pretty dogshit compared to what it is back home, so they don’t get to speak to their parents often. 

As far as rotations went, well, I did alright, actually. It was pretty much like any other residency program. The equipment, while again a bit odd, was definitely stuff that I figured out how to use fast enough, and Ursi are physiologically not that different from humans. They’re generally bulkier and their pulse and blood pressure are slightly different, they’d be hypertensive and bradycardic oddly enough, but I figured it out real quick. 

I did also to ask to borrow Sergi’s books on Ursine physiology, explaining that the ursus population in the Trimounts was fairly low and I was used to liberi (bird people), perro (doggos), and zalak (rodents), and that I’d studied up on kuranta (horsies) since they were predominant in Kazimierz. He accepted that, and hit me with a real zinger. 

“Forgive me, but I’m not entirely certain which race you are. You appear…anura?” 

Uh, I think that was frog person, but I had a better answer after some thinking cap time. “Aegir, actually. I’ve actually been having a problem with dry skin,” I said with a grimace. “You don’t have any moisturizer, do you?”

He brightened at that and nodded. “Ah, yes, are you semi-aquatic?”

“No, no, though I get real dry if I don’t take long and regular baths. I’m a pretty good swimmer though,” I said with a smile. It was true: I swam in high school and had made State, though I hadn’t been good enough for college. I was pretty good on boats as well, and loved surfing when I could get out on the waves. 

Sergi provided me with some skin cream that I made sure to apply nightly, and I also made a point of taking long soaks in the bathtub. I loved it, even if it wasn’t really necessary for my biology like I led them to believe. Aegir ranged from fish people to squids to my precious Orca Waifu, but humans are just kinda boring.

Why am I even telling you this? Who the fuck is going to read this anyway? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Ivanka found me an adapter that somehow charges my phone, so the cool thing is it won’t run out of power, ever! 

Shit, I might not even actually die after all.

Entry 3 - Day 19

Fuck. I am so going to die now. 

I think I just gave myself super cancer. 

Worse yet, the Emperor’s Blades are DEFINITELY after me now. 

On the positive side, I think I saved a kid's life. On the negative side, me doing that is why the Emperor’s Blades are certainly going to try and kill me. 

Let me back up a bit. 

During my first day on rotation at the hospital with Dr. Medvedev, he confirmed that I could not use Arts.

“How are you with a standard Arts apparatus, Dr. McCoy?” he asked me, and held up a small wand with a glowing green tip on the end. 

I made a face and took it. “Honestly, I have zero aptitude for this stuff. It did cause some problems, but I was always told I could still become a doctor, even lacking Arts ability.”

He laughed and smiled. “I have very little facility with Arts myself. Can barely even heal a cut, even with a wand like this. Well, no matter. It’s quite true you don’t need ability with Arts to be a good doctor. Honestly, I was hoping I could have you use it. I’m always having to call a nurse.”

That was the end of it for a while. I secretly tried to use the wand a few times, but I couldn’t feel anything beside a faint tingle, or get it to do jack shit, so that was the end of that. Or so I thought. 

A few days later, a kid came into the hospital with his mom. I wasn’t on rotation with Medvedev at the time, he’d passed me off to Doctor Tatiana Kuznetsova. She was a 30ish Attending who seemed happy enough to have an idiot Colombian intern follow her around.  

We had just admitted a new patient who’d come in with his mother, complaining of full-body aches, fever, and heart palpitations.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Kurzetsova, this is Student Doctor McCoy, he’ll be assisting me today if you don’t mind,” my attending said as we stepped into the room. 

The patient in question was curled up on the table, whimpering and trembling. He had on a thick jacket despite the warm weather, as well as a cap, and his nervous mouther was clutching at his hand. She appeared terrified, and I could easily see why: the kid looked to be about 10 or so, and he was in bad shape. 

“Yes, please, just help my Andrey,” the woman begged. 

I stepped forward, already wearing my safety gear. There’s a lot more safety stuff doctors wear on Terra, and for good reason. Oripathy is deadlier than even HIV/AIDS, and while it’s almost as hard to spread, there are exceptions and it’s best not to take risks. So I had on full gloves, mask, face shield, and my scrubs were a bit more heavy duty. Not that it would matter. 

“When did symptoms start?” I asked, even as I knelt down by the bed. “Hey, big guy. I’m going to need you to look at me, OK?” 

I examined his eyes, and noted his pupils were dilated, probably because of the pain, even as I hiked up his sleeve and put a cuff on his arm and checked his pulse. He was tachycardic, even for a human, which in an ursus is real bad news. 

“BPM is 92, 121-92,” I reported.

“Andrey, he has been sick for two weeks, but it keeps getting worse! I did not want to take him to the doctor, we do not have much money, but he has been crying so much,” the mother said. 

“Fever?” Dr. Kurzetsova asked me.

“He’s at 39.8,” I reported (their temperatures seems to be in Celcius. This is high, though Ursine body temperatures are typically about .1C higher than humans, their average 37.1, so this was a high fever). I looked to the mother. “He on any medication?” 

“Paracetrov, two pills,” she said. That’s acetaminophen, close enough to what I would call Tylenol. 

“Adult, or children's?” I asked automatically, though I did wonder after the words were out of my mouth if the dosage was different here. 

“Adult,” she admitted.

I looked at Kurzetsova. “That’s 1000mg here, too?”

She nodded grimly. “Well over the standard dose. He weighs what, 45 kilos?”

“Forty-four,” the mother said, and I gritted my teeth. That was about 97lbs, the dosage for that weight would have been 500mg every 4-6 hours. This was double that. 

“So he’s on an adult dose of an analgesic and antipyretic, and he’s in this much pain and with that much fever? We might need to consider a-”

I paused, as I had rolled up the other sleeve. The mother gasped, hands flying to her face, eyes wide. Doctor Kurzetsova looked over and swore, “Son of a Sarkaz whore!” 

There, on Andrey’s arm, small black crystals were poking through the skin. The boy's eyes were watering with pain, and he looked at me, pleadingly. 

“Please, doctor. Make it stop. It hurts. I can feel it in my skin. It hurts so bad.” 

“He’s Infected?!” Kurzetsova hissed at the mother, who shook her head rapidly.

“No, no, he can’t be, I- those weren’t there, I swear! Please, I’ll just take him home, I-”

“We need a full crash OIP right now!” Kurzetsova was saying, but the rest of her words were lost to me. 

I could…feel…the crystals. Even through my gloves. 

Slowly, I removed Andrey’s jacket, and he sat there, trembling. There were black crystals on his right arm, spreading up to his chest. I ran my hand over his shirt, and I could feel more of them. 

“Acute oripathy,” I mumbled to myself. “This spread quickly, didn’t it?”

Andrey didn’t say anything, of course. He was just a kid. I pressed my gloved hand to the crystals, and I heard Kurzetsova swear at me. I ignored her. The crystals…hummed. I could feel them. Like they were warm. Could feel them all over Andrey’s body, in his body. Circulating through his blood.

I am not real sure how I did it. Or what I did. I do know why. This kid was in pain. Dying. Probably pretty damn fast. There are two types of Oripathy. The kind you see in Rhodes Island, at least in my experience, is Chronic. It takes months, years, even decades to progress. Crystals that slowly grow throughout the body, spreading, multiplying, and causing great pain and damage. The prognosis is always terminal, but the death can take an agonizing eternity for the sufferer. There’s no cure, only treatments to slow the progress.

The other kind is Acute Oripathy. It spreads rapidly. I hadn’t even known it existed until I started studying here, though I guess there was an offhand mention of Misha having it in the anime. Acute Oripathy spreads throughout the body in a matter of days or weeks. It’s terminal within no more than 90 days from the first onset of symptoms, which typically begins mere hours after infection. 

The differences between the two kinds are vague based on the literature I’ve read so far. My best guess is that both the infectious load and the type of infection determine the type of oripathy. I desperately need to learn more. 

Well, if I survive. Because what I did next was stupendously, monumentally, stupid.

I could feel the oripathy humming. Pulsing. Feel the originium crystals in Andrey’s body growing. They called to me. 

So I called back. 

Andrey screamed in pain as the crystals ripped out of his skin and tore through my gloves, absorbed into my hand. I screamed in pain, too, the shock of it horrifying. But I didn’t stop. There was now blood everywhere, but I could feel those crystals in Andrey’s body. I was getting them out, somehow, and the only way he lived was if all those crystals were removed. 

Additionally, as soon as the originium hit my blood stream, a fire started burning in my veins. It wasn’t hot, but cold, a terrible, burning cold that drove the breath from my lungs and made me see stars. But in that pain, I felt…something. Energy, I guess? And I was, for the first time, able to use Arts. 

Even as I ripped the crystals from Andrey’s body, I began to heal the boy. I turned the energy from the Originium into life energy, healing energy. It was unfocused and uncontrolled, but it did knit back together his wounds as fast as I made them. Even as I ripped apart Andrey’s organs, which were already crystalizing into orignium shards instead of functioning tissue, I re-knitted them back into what they should have been. 

When I finished, some minutes later, Andrey was out cold, his flesh pale. There was blood absolutely everywhere, coating me from head to toe. My own clothes were torn and ragged, as I pulled the crystals out of Andrey’s body, and into my own. And I hurt. That fire was still freezing my veins, making my breath come in ragged gasps, and I could just feel the Super Cancer spreading through my body. 

“Shit!” I gasped and stood up, grabbing my stethoscope and putting it with clumsy hands on Andrey’s chest. No heartbeat. I swore, and shouted, “CODE BLUE!” and started chest compressions. 

“Step aside, please,” a calm, unfamiliar voice said. I shiveled my head around, then had to look down. A pair of fuzzy pink ears that didn’t even come up to my shoulder were by my side. I blinked, and a calm pair of blue eyes looked back at me.

“S-Sussurro?” I gasped. What I saw was a fox-girl, about 4’6”, dressed in a lab coat. Her large pink ears had a black trim on the edges, and a fluffy tail with a white tip poked out from a slit on her coat. She had on gloves and a mask, though her clothes hid the crystal growths along her neck I knew existed.

How? Well, she might be a 4☆, but Sussurro had hard carried me in IS and early on in my career as a Dohktah. Distinctly different than my career as a doctor, largely due to the number of murders. 

The little doctor, she was definitely an adult now that I did a double-take, not the kid she appeared at first glance, flicked her ears in surprise. “Yes. Please, step aside, doctor.”

I complied, stopping chest compressions. Sussurro, and it really was her, took out a medical wand like I’d seen before. She pressed it to Andrey’s heart, muttering something in what sounded like Italian. The kid sucked in a sharp breath and sat up, looking around wildly. 

“Mama!” he cried. 

“Thank God,” I said, sagging against the wall and wiping my blood-stained brow. I had thought all that had been for naught. 

“Good, can you walk?” Sussurro said, helping Andrey to his feet. He was covered in blood and his clothes were mere rags, but he nodded.

“I…I think so. Where is Mama?” 

“She was right…” I looked around, but the room was empty, save for me, Sussurro, and Andrey. 

“She fled, along with Doctor Kurzetsova. I can’t say I blame them. I was only in here for the tail end of that, and it was quite the horror show,” Sussurro said. “We need to go, now. Come.”

“What? But why? He needs treatment,” I said. “He’s got acute-”

“Whatever you just did, it’s going to be hell to pay, Doctor McCoy. And I am not sticking around long enough to find out what happened,” Sussurro said firmly. “You and the boy come with me, quick like.”

I grimaced, but nodded, and hastily followed Sussurro out. We nearly bumped into an out-of-breath Dr. Medvedev. “Doctor McCoy! Who is-”

“You are Medvedev?” Sussurro said. “We need to get these two changed, and quickly. I don’t have time to explain. Decontamination procedures.”

“I- yes, this way,” Dr. Medvedev said, and ushered us down the hall, which was completely empty. There was a shower with a curtain there for decon, and he and Sussurro ushed me and Andrey both in there.

“Strip, shower, change. Fast,” Sussurro urged. 

“What, with a patient, a kid to boot!? Do you want me to get sued and lose my license!?” I demanded.

“I want you to not end up in the Gulag or shot,” she said, shoving me inside. “Now, McCoy!” 

Andrey started crying, but I got the kid and me both out of our bloodstained clothes, he helped, thankfully, and then hosed us off with the harsh chemicals, then rinsed with water in just about two minutes. Sussurro threw open the curtain and shoved clothes at us, scrubs and not hospital gowns.

“Quickly!” she hissed. I could hear Doctor Medvedev nearly shouting with someone down the hall, and I grimaced and hastily got Andrey and me changed. 

“I want mama!” I cried, even as I helped him into the slippers. 

“We’re doctors, and your mama wants you to be safe,” I said firmly. “You need to come with us. Doctor Sussurro is from Rhodes Island. They specialize in treating the disease you have. You don’t want the pain to come back, do you?”

Hiccuping, Andrey shook his head. 

“Then I need you to be brave and come with us,” I said, grabbing Andrey’s hand. 

He nodded, scrubbing tears from his eyes, but the kid was a trooper. 

“Gavial, I need that extraction, now,” Sussuro said, lifting a radio to her mouth as we made our way away from the shouting. Behind us, the door banged open.

“SECURITY! STOP RIGHT THERE!”

“RUN!” Sussurro ordered, and I picked up Andrey and broke into a sprint, kicking off the slippers and just booking it as the kid clung to me and cried, Sussurro moving fast despite her short stature. 

“This way!” I gasped. I learned my way around the hospital a bit, and I led us towards a side entrance that led to an alleyway where the staff smoked. I wasn’t a smoker, though I’m considering taking it up with the hell my life has been lately, but I still knew where it was. 

Unfortunately, there were two armed security guards blocking the door when we got there. Both of them were big, muscular Ursines, one of them more bear than man, and both of them with big clubs in their hands. They both had on full gas masks and heavy safety gear. We skidded to a stop, but right behind us, three more security guards appeared, panting and out of breath. 

“Fucking infected trash,” the bear-man growled, raising his club. 

“Stop! I’m Doctor Lucia Sussurro from Rhodes Island! These two are patients under my protection!” my brave, but very short, companion said, holding up an ID card. 

“Shut the fuck up,” the guard snarled, and swung his club at Sussurro, who ducked under it. I gasped as another guard hit me in the back, and I clutched Andrey to my chest as he wailed. I thought was about to be in for the beating of a lifetime.

I was right about the beating, but wrong about the targets.

The door banged open, and a humanoid hurricane slammed into the rear of the two guards ahead of me. 

“EVERYBODY CHILL OUT!” the newcomer roared, even as she rammed one guard into the wall and kicked the other so hard he bounced off door he hit and went skidding across the ground. The she whipped a massive scaly green tail into another guard, knocking him into one of his companions and sending both sprawling. Her fist made a beautiful uppercut into the last guard, and teeth went spraying as she knocked him out cold. 

“Good timing,” Sussuro said, looking about. “But we’ve got to go.”

“Aw man, having fun without me, Lucia?” Gavial laughed, grinning and showing a row of sharp, crocodilian teeth. She had a long mane of green hair and pointed ears. She was actually surprisingly short, a good half a foot or more shorter than my 6’ even. I’d always pictured Gavial as a hulking giant of a woman. 

I blame the Japanese height impairment. Or Chinese, now that I think of it. I use JP voices anyway. 

“No, no time for explanations. Let’s get out of here,” Sussurro said, and motioned towards the door. She paused, then leaned towards my back. “Are you well, Doctor McCoy?”

“Fine,” I grunted. “Just a bruise. Let’s go.”

My diagnosis turned out to be correct, though I did have a pretty bad contusion on my left latissimus dorsi. 

We ran out into the alley, even as sirens began to wail behind us. 

“Oh shit, you did piss them off! Whatever did you and this kid get up to, Lucia?” Gavial asked as we ran. 

“A good question,” Sussurro panted. “Talk later. Now, hide.”

“Righy-o! Come on, I borrowed us a car!” Gavial said. 

There was a taxi waiting at the end of the alleyway, and the driver’s eyes went wide. He started to pull away, but Gavial grabbed him through the open window and hauled him out.

“Sorry, pal! We’re borrowing this! Here, for the trouble! I’ll try not to crash it!” Gavial said, and dumped a wad of blue credits on the man before depositing him on the sidewalk. 

“Stop, thief!” the cabby cried, but it was too late, Sussurro, me, and Andrey piled into the back. 

Gavial cackled with laughter as we peeled away from the hospital. Though she only sped away for a bit, before slowing to a much more moderate speed. If anything, she drove less insanely than some cab driver’s I’ve seen, which, based on her event, seemed a little out of character. 

“So, what’s up?” Gavial asked, glancing in the rearview mirror as cop cars with flashing lights sped past us the other way. “Something got those guards all hot and bothered. I thought we were just picking up a wayward intern. A rather mysterious one, at that!” 

“Uh, Doctor James McCoy,” I said, giving a weak smile as I finished buckling up Andrey, who was pale and looked frightened, but seemed to be trying to be brave. “You’re doing great, kid. This is Doctor Gavial. I know she looks like a scary lady, and she is, but only to germs and kids who don’t eat their vegetables.”

“Ha ha! And patients who don’t take their medicine!” Gavial chuckled. 

“And bad guys,” Andrey said quietly, but he managed a small smile. “You’re cool.”

“I try, kid, I try. What’s your name?”

“Andrey Ivanovich. I’m 10,” he said, giving a shy smile. “Does my mom…does she know about…?”

“I think she probably knew you had oripathy, Andrey. Which was why she was scared to take you to the hospital,” I said with a sigh. “She was right to do so.” I turned to Sussurano. “I’m pretty sure he’s got acute oripathy. There was crystal formation all along his right arm, onto the right pectoral. I felt, uh, well, I guess that’s not real medical, but I suspect he’s got a blood density level over 0.3u/L.”

Oripathy is broken down into three levels of progression. Stage one is defined as Blood Originium-Crystal Density of less than .30 units per liter. There can be minor lesions on the skin, and with an X-ray, organs might have a faint shadow of crystal formation. Stage two begins with a blood density between 0.30-.50 u/L, with moderate lesions on the skin, like those Andrey had possessed, and blurry organ outlines thanks to increased crystal growth. It’s also the point at which medical intervention has to take place, or the patient progresses to stage three. 

At Stage Three, density in the blood exceeds 0.50 u/L. Horrific skin lesions often cover the body, and they often grow abnormal body parts. Internal organs begin to shut down due to crystallization, and cases cause severe impairments to bodily functions. Inevitably, this leads to death, though it can be a long, slow, and incredibly painful death. 

As I said. There is no cure for Oripathy. Treatment administered in Stage 1 or Stage 2 can slow the progression of the disease and alleviate symptoms. But it’s always terminal. 

“Hmm.” Sussurro lifted up Andrey’s arm and examined it. “I’m going to feel your chest, OK, Andrey?”

He nodded, and she ran her hands over his right and left pectoral, then inspected his left arm. “No signs of crystallization. Are you certain, Doctor Murphy?”

“I…” I swallowed, then took a look at Andrey’s arm myself, even as we continued to speed through the city. “Well I’ll be damned. It’s…gone.”

“And when did you become infected, Dr. McCoy?” Sussurro asked. 

“Huh? I’m not, as far as I…” I trailed off as she held up my right hand. There, in my palm, were several small black crystals. I swallowed. “Oh. Fuck.”

“Hey now, there are children present! Watch your mouth, or I’ll have to wash it out with soap!” Gavial said in chipper tones. 

I began to tremble all over, clutching at my hand. I lowered my sleeve and hissed as I saw more crystal growths all up my arm. I patted my chest and found more of them there. I began to weep, shivering and sinking back in the seat. 

I was going to die. 

I was going to fucking die. 

And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. 

Author's Note:

It's summer so I have more time and I decided to be dumb and write a new story because I'm playing a lot of Arknights. Don't worry, new chapters for the other things coming soon.

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 10

Animula Choragi 10: Je veux vivre

Stepping out onto the stage, Furina beheld a vast audience, stretching back into the shadows where she couldn’t even see them. She swallowed, took a deep breath, and prepared to sing. 

Do you hear the people sing?

Singing the song of angry men?

It is the music of a people

Who will not be slaves again

“Good, very good! Now, are you ready to begin?”

Furina turned, finding the person applauding wasn’t amongst the audience, but another on the stage with her: Focalors. 

“Wait, what are you doing here? You’re not in the play! Wait…” Furina put a hand to her head, shaking it slightly. She looked back out at the audience and found that she wasn’t in the Théâtre de l’Ondine. Rather, she was back at the Opera Epiclese, though the audience was far larger than even that vast venue could hold. “This is a dream, isn’t it?” 

“Mmmm, yes, but it is a Dream, not a mere dream. While the distinction might sound tautological, I assure you it is anything but. The Dream is the realm that underpins all of reality: it is where things are more real than they are in the merely physical world, for the Dream is a realm of Spirit and Thought, not merely physical substance.”

“So…this is real, then?” Furina said. She studied the audience, then gasped. Sitting in the front row was Yennifer, and behind her were Julie and Barbara. “My friends, they’re here too?”

“In spirit. Which, since this is a Dream, means they are more present than if you were holding their hands,” Focalors said, stepping up to Furina’s side. “However, we must act quickly: Time is passing by, and though we are the boatmen of the River of Time, even we must be careful, lest its current consume us. Let us start with the first, then. Yennifer Elizabeth Lustria, step forth!” 

The lights dimmed, and a spotlight flicked on as Yennifer stood up, walking from the audience up onto the stage. 

“Now that you have discovered your Justice, it is time for you to begin distributing Visions,” Focalors said, gesturing to Yennifer, who struck a pose at center stage. One hand raised, pointing towards heaven, the other outstretched, balancing a scale with a book on one end, and a heart upon the other. The scales were tilted towards the heart, and Yennifer declared, “True Justice is mercy! To not merely condemn the guilty, but to vindicate the innocent! I give my all to the Law, not to punish, but to protect!”

Hearing that, Furina’s heart nearly burst, and she felt tears come to her eyes. “We are of one mind in this…she…she truly understands me…”

“She’s not finished,” Focalors said quietly. “If it were that simple to gain a Vision, every noble public defender would have one. Listen.”

The scales vanished, and Yennifer drew forth a sword from her side, saluting by raising its hilt to her chin, blade upright in front of her. “I am a Knight of Favonius! Though I am weak, I shall not falter! I will wear the mask of Captain, fighting for Justice, no matter the odds against me. I will defy Heaven and Hell both to protect those I cherish!” 

“She…she’s me,” Furina said, walking around the pool of light that Yennifer stood poised in. “I always felt this way. Like I was an imposter, pretending to be what I was not, but doing so anyway because that was the only way to save all I cared for.”

“Then acknowledge her. For she is our daughter: A Masked Paragon who gives all to their role. But do so in my voice: else the illusion will shatter.”

Furina held out her hand as Yennifer knelt, and a Hydro Vision appeared there. She sang out, 

The court is now in session 

Let the defendant rise! 

You will stand for Justice 

No matter your foe's size. 

Though you wear a mask of Duty, 

Your spirit shall not fade

Shout forth your loud objection! 

Daughter of Law’s shade

As she did so, Furina mimicked Focalor’s own voice, channeling what she knew of the Hydro Archon, playing the role not of Furina, but of Focalors. 

“Perfect,” Focalors said, applauding politely as Yennifer accepted her Vision. She turned to the audience and bowed, and the world applauded. Then, to Furina’s horror, Yennifer began to fade.

“No, don’t go!” Furina wailed and grabbed Yennifer, hugging her tightly. “Please! I need you…I…you’re my best friend! I…”

She couldn’t force the rest of the words out, but she clung to Yennifer regardless. 

“Furina?” 

Opening her eyes, Furina saw Yennifer blinking at her in confusion. Slowly, she wrapped her own arms about Furina. “I…I care for you as well, Furina. Not as a sister, but as-”

Sleep.

Focalors stepped forward, tapping Yennifer's forehead on the forehead. She immediately vanished, leaving Furina holding on to empty air. 

“Well,” Focalors said with a sigh, shaking her head. “You very nearly ruined a great deal of hard work. I suppose I should have warned you.”

“Why did you send her away!? Why can’t Yennifer stay here, with me?” Furina demanded, stamping her foot in outrage. 

“Because you pulled her fully into the Dream, and into this Time. That was a snapshot of her in the past, pulled forward to receive her Vision from your hand,” Focalors said with a shake of her head. “As it is, she’ll remember you embracing her and telling her you need her and that she is your best friend. No more, hopefully. Else the ploy is up.”

“What ploy? What are you talking about?” Furina cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. 

“Ah. I am afraid I have something to show you, in that regard. First, let us get the pleasant business out of the way before we turn to the bad. There are a few more I passed out Visions to in your name, but you must fully acknowledge them as you are the true bearer of the Mantle, and I but a Shade. Come, the show must go on!” 

Furina looked back to the audience, as the spotlight shone on a dark-skinned man, somewhere in his middle years. He had a bright winning smile and was on the tall side. As he took the stage, Furina glanced at Focalors. “I will demand an explanation, after this.” 

“And I shall give you one. But hurry: This mortal received his Vision some hours ago. Be careful: don’t pull him into this Time with us. One was bad enough, more could disrupt my careful Chronomancy.”

Furina nodded and listened to the ambitions of the man and a dozen more mortals, who had all been seated in the first row. She was careful to mimic Focalor’s tone and diction as she passed out the Visions, but she was shocked at how much like her each of these mortals were. Not as close a match as Yennifer, perhaps, but all shared her passion for Justice, Drama, and in some way played a role and wore a public mask for those around them. 

“Good, very good. That is enough for now,” Focalors said with a nod. “We have some catching up to do, but it is quite rare that a mortal both matches the mind of a god and has enough ambition to catch the attention of Heaven. Though I am a bit puzzled: There is no Celestia here, yet I feel compelled to continue to perform the duty of an Archon, and acknowledge mortal ambition.”

“If they need to match the mind of a god, why am I giving out the Visions and not you?” Furina asked, looking out at the audience. “Will they all receive Visions?”

“Not all, but most of them, yes. Not just this night, but for many, many nights to come. The fact that you can see them at all shows that you, too, have begun to recognize Time for the Illusion that it is. From this Stage, you can see Past, Present…and Future.”

Focalors rested her hands on Furina’s shoulders, then turned her slightly. “Now. We’ve both been deliberately ignoring it, for it is too terrible to consider. But…there. Look there, my child. Behold…and fear.”

Slowly, Furina looked into the blackness. She’d let her eyes wander over it before, but now she forced herself to see. It was not merely blackness she saw in the upper rows. It was…nothing. They were gone. Completely erased, until there was nothing left but the void.

“What…happened, there?” Furina whispered, feeling a dark dread overwhelm her. 

“It is time for us to see, my daughter. Come. Let us witness this play together.” Focalors stepped to Furina’s side, and slipped her hand into Furina’s. Their eyes met, and Furina swallowed, then nodded. 

Together, they stepped forward, and the play began. 

Mme. Focalors and Mlle. Furina Present: 

Passio Terribilium Cycli

Act I: Spatium locustarum

Our scene begins many eons ago, around a distant star…

Planets, dancing around the star. And upon one, life. It is strange but wonderful. It is sentient, and it has its own songs. 

Chorus: 

We wake with the shimmer, we rise with the ring,

The pulsing blue sunrise makes everything sing!

We’re Glimlings, we giggle, we bloom in the light,

Around our distant star, we shine so bright!

Then, in the night sky, two comets appear. The aliens look up, most delighted at the appearance of new comets, others worried. 

The comets crash to earth, and the aliens gather around them, singing a song of curiosity. Some touch the comets, and are given wondrous powers. 

Chorus: 

From beyond the stars, on threads of thought,
Came the twin whose names are never caught.
One was fire, and one was glass,
And both wore masks from eons past.

They whispered to the skyless stone,
They sang to roots and marrow bone,
And where their shadow kissed the land,
The air grew sharp, the soil unmanned.

Briefly, all goes well. The powers are used to sing new songs, and create wonders. 

Chorus: 

They gift, they give, they seed the flame,

Then step away and watch the game.

You ask for strength, they grant you more—

But you will burn before they’re sore.

The Cycle walks, it walks again…

Beware the gifts of stranger men.

Then, conflict begins. Some aliens want more of the powers. Others seek to control them. They begin to fight. The music grows tense, and ominous. From the comets, tendrils emerges, sinking into the planet. 

From the comets, horrible demons begin to emerge. The aliens notice, and some fight the demons. Others seek to study and control them. The songs grow discordant, building to a violent crescendo. The planet has become overgrown with the pulsing, malevolent tendrils of the comets. 

Chorus: 

One learns, one speaks, one dreams, one stores…

One sleeps, one wakes, and one records.

They do not hate. They do not love.

They only are. Below. Above.

Centuries of war and chaos pass. The songs of the aliens have all but vanished, now there is only cacophony. Their once beautiful planet is nearly destroyed by the terrible powers and ceaseless warfare. Rampaging demons feast upon the aliens. The world is completely covered in tendrils, which consume aliens and demons alike. 

At last, the end comes. The tendrils rise up, draining the powers from the aliens and consuming the demons. Nothing is left of the world but a dry, used up husk. The comets have swollen to immense size, and once they have taken everything, they detonate, destroying the remnants of the once beautiful world. 

From the explosion, more comets emerge. They are not unliving stone, but seeds. Theyfill the stars, spreading from planet to planet, wherever they find life, sucking it dry, before moving on to the next. The scene shifts to the Parisian skyline, and two of the evil seeds are seen. 

Act II: Deorum Adventu

They fall to earth. From one, emerges a golden man. And from the other…a festering darkness. The tendrils appear, and the golden man watches as humans begin to gain powers. Demons emerge. The Endbringers that the audience is now familiar with. They begin their terrible Cycle.

But then… a light appears. In a flash of thunder, the RAIDEN SHOGUN stands upon the stage. She takes up her sword, and rallying soldiers to her. They begin to bring order, fighting back the tendrils and slaying one of the mightiest of demons. 

RAIDEN SHOGUN: 

I crossed from Teyvat on lightning’s breath,
To a world carved in war, in sorrow, in death.
The Leviathan rose with jaws wide and wild—
But I struck like the storm, serene and styled.

 So I claimed the skies and stilled the rain—
And made my eternity over mountain and plain.

But from the stars came a voice in gold,
Maou the Golden, cruel and old.
I saw through his oaths, his shining deceit,
So I rose in defiance with thunder beneath.
“My eternity bends not to love nor chain—
Let gods break before I serve in shame.”

Now I walk with my daughters, fierce and free—
Two blades of lightning born from me.
Together we forge what stars cannot hold—
Steel for truth, and storms for the bold.

 For I am the Shogun—unchanging, untamed—
And my thunder shall never be claimed.

Next, upon a swirling breeze and in a cheery song, the ANGEL OF MUNICH arrives. He sees the fighting humans, shakes his head, and begins to play a merry tune. Many of the humans stop fighting and follow eagerly after him. 

ANGEL OF MUNICH: 

I danced through the breach with a wink and a song,

The storm in my flute said, "Your time is gone."

The Gesellschaft marched, all iron and hate,

So I sang down their banners and twisted their fate.

Their zeppelins fell with a whistling cheer,

Their lies blew away like foam on a bier.

Then came old Khonsu, the moon’s wrath made beast—

A titan of bone, prepared for a feast.

But I smiled and bowed, “Let’s play hide and seek,”

And spun ‘round the beast like a mountain’s peak.

One gust, one jest, one vanishing tune—

And I bound him in wind and sent him to Ei’s room

Then, from a grave trap, a bed of flowers rises up, NAHIDA SAEED sleeping upon it. She awakens and begins to teach. Both demons and humans stop to listen. One of the most powerful demons flies down and alights on her shoulder. Nahida feeds it, then sends it to the ANGEL OF MUNICH. 

NAHIDA: 

I came on a dream through a sun-painted land,

Where wisdom lay buried like gold in the sand.

A father gave shelter, a child gave a smile—

And for once, I was wanted, if only a while.

No crown on my brow, no temple, no throne—

Just a name softly spoken, a place to call home.

The tyrant wore death, his rule built on fear,

But hearts are like seeds when the spring draws near.

I whispered of dreams that the silence had left,

And the people rose up, they would not stand my theft.

No blade in my hand, just wisdom in my voice—

And in breaking their chains, I gave them a choice.

When came the Simurgh, the Demon of Fear,

With malice and song to enslave those who hear.

She struck at my life—but I offered my hand,

And we fought in the dusk over scorched, sacred land.

Now she flies beside me, no longer alone—

Two souls once adrift, now calling this home.

A cold wind blows, and from Stage Left, the TSARITSA arrives, dancing to her own tune. She screams in grief at seeing the state of the world, and challenges the golden man to combat. He bests her, but she remains defiant. She too gathers humans to her, striking down demons and turning them into gifts of her own, which she gives to humans. 

The TSARITSA: 

The snow fell black on a land become a grave

For they had no god for their city to save

A demon had shattered their kingdom to dust,

And men crowned themselves with blood and rust.

But I rose from the grave with a voice like ice—

“I am the Tsaritsa. This land is mine at any price.”

In the ruins of winter, a child did cry,

Alone with no past beneath a hollow sky.

She knelt in the cold, too small to stand,

So I took her pain in my gloved hand.

“I name you my daughter, it shall be your part—

You are the warmth in my frozen heart.”

This land is broken, but I shall ascend,

Not to rule with love, but to love to the end.

I am no mortal queen to fall or depart—

I am Russia. I am the god of the frozen heart.

The land is now in Chaos. 

Act III: Fiat Iustitia

And then, the spotlight falls upon…FURINA DE FONTANE…

Furina: Me? But, wait, I’m not the Hydro Archon?

Taking center stage, Furina begins to sing: 

In the court of water, I ruled with pride,

Fountain of justice, the waves were my guide.

Curtains and trials, with flair I would stand,

A queen of illusions in Fontaine's grand land.

But the stars did stir and the firmament tore,

A voice from beyond called through a celestial door.

Dragged from my throne by fate's cruel design,

Now lost in a realm where Justice is blind

From out of FURINA’s shadow, FOCALORS appears. She stands beside her daughter, and sings, 

O daughter of tides, my mirror, my shame,
Though I once bore the Archon’s name—
Your strength is your own, not borrowed or feigned,
In your heart, the ocean’s soul is chained.

You wept for your people, you played every part,
But the truth of a god lies not in a chart.
I come not to lead, but to stand at your side—
For I am the deep, and you are my tide.

Taking each other’s hands, FURINA and FOCALORS sing together as they dance, 

Furina: 

I fooled Heaven when I played the divine,

A crowned puppet, by clever design.

And now once more, I defy Heaven’s decree—

For the script this king wrote won’t imprison me.

Focalors: 

Heaven carved my name in the depths of lore,

But you, my child, have become something more.

Not forged by fate, nor crowned by the skies—

You rose from ruin with tearless eyes.

Together:

We are justice veiled in foam,

Waveswept gods who travel  far from home.

By stolen crown and shattered script,

We turn the tide Fate thought was fixed.

Let the people weep and dry hearts sing—

For we are Justice’s flood, and we bring the spring.

The spotlight suddenly winks out, and the whole stage trembles. The actors and audience both scream in terror as-

The vision fuzzed and froze. Furina blinked. She was still holding Focalors as they danced together, a wonderful waltz across the stage. “What…what was that?”

“Shhhh. Look,” Focalor said. 

Just off stage, behind the curtain, for a brief moment, Furina caught a glimpse of THE UNCONQUERED SUN. She lowered her sunglasses and winked at Furina. Then turned around and vanished completely into the backstage. 

“What was…?” Furina swallowed, looking around them. The other players were locked in place. What was happening? “Is this real?”

“Of course it is,” Focalors sniffed. “And you can stop miming, Buer. I do apologize, I didn’t mean to draw you in, but it seems I got swept up in things.”

Furina nearly jumped out of her skin when Nahida, or wait, Buer? turned her head and smiled at her. She’d thought she was just a prop like everything else!

“You didn’t draw me in on your own, Lord Focalors. I was looking for you, actually. I have been for several weeks now. I had a feeling we’d meet tonight, so I went to bed early,” Nahida said, standing and coming over to Furina and Focalors. She bowed. “Hello! I’m Nahida. Though I suppose you know me better as Lord Buer. It’s nice to meet you.”

“L-Likewise, the honor is mine,” Furina said, curtsying to the little girl. She was feeling a bit dizzy with everything that was going on, and really didn’t understand what was happening. This had to all be a mad dream, didn’t it?

“Buer, this is my daughter, Furina de Fontaine,” Focalors said, putting her hands on Furina’s shoulders again. “I know we never met in person, but I did know your predecessor. Only…hmmm. You’re not quite the Buer I was expecting.”

“No, I’m a different one,” the Dendro Archon said with a shake of her head. “We all are. Each of us is from a different time and version of Teyvat. For example, I’m from the year 505 AC by the Moraxian calendar. And you?” 

“It was only 500AC for us,” Furina said. “Did…did you hear what happened to Fontaine, after the Prophecy was fulfilled? Perhaps from the Travelers? They spoke to me of meeting you in Sumeru.”

“Hmm, interesting. I never met the Travelers…I wonder…how long was your year?” Nahida asked curiously.

“Why, 372 days long, as it always has been,” Focalors said, frowning. “Why…? Oh! And for you?” 

“For me, only 360 days, and the others I’ve met. So, that means from your perspective, I would have been from the year 488 or 489, depending slightly. It seems I’m from the earliest point in Teyvat’s timeline once more! I guess I really am the youngest,” Buer said, then giggled. Oh goodness, she was adorable! Furina would have insisted on a state visit if she’d known how cute Lord Buer was! Why ever had those awful sages locked her up?

“Because we fear that which we do not understand, and seek to control others in the attempt to gain power,” Nahida said. It took Furina a moment to realize that it was in response to her unvoiced question. “Sorry, especially in the Dream, others’ thoughts are always open to me. But, to further explain, please, do not judge the sages too harshly. I fear they have suffered a terrible fate in my absence. I should have been a better Archon to them while I was in Sumeru.”

“Do you ever plan on returning?” Focalors asked. “Or is there even a way?”

“None of us have found one, though I confess, none of us have spent a great deal of effort in attempting to return to Teyvat. For me…this is my home now,” Nahida said, motioning to the frozen people who had gathered around her. Furina actually recognized several: Dr. Bashir Saeed, Farasha, their daughter Qiqi, and Tessa the Flower Dragon. 

“I understand the sentiment. I do miss many in Fontaine, especially Monsieur Neuvillette, but I have a life here now, as brief as my time has been. Has it really been only a month since I’ve arrived?” Furina said, looking over at her friends, who had taken their place on stage behind where she and Focalors had danced. She walked over, studying them. They appeared lifelike, but they were statues, not even breathing. 

“This was a most impressive Vision. I understand now why Focalors was considered to be among the greatest at foretelling the future,” Nahida said, studying the stage herself. “I see you too have realized that the King of Demons, the Sustainer of this realm, seeks to cause the End of the World.”

“Yes, and propagate his hideous species to further infest the stars,” Focalors said, her tone grim. “This is not something we can allow to come to pass.”

“Yes, but, why are you telling me?” Furina asked, perplexed. “I…I’m not even sure all this is more than a fever dream.”

“Hmm,” Nahida cocked her head to one side, gazing first at Furina, then at Focalors. “Yours is a most intriguing situation, I must say.”

“Oh, don’t spoil the surprise, Buer dear,” Focalors laughed, coming over to put her arms around Furina’s neck and grin.” I’ve got it all planned out. We have a little time, and if I foresee correctly, it will be Furina who hoodwinks Heaven’s False Tyrant into his own doom.”

“Me?! Against…that!?” Furina said, gesturing to the glowing golden demon that loomed over the stage. “How could I possibly slay something like that?” 

“Why, with true Justice. And a little dash of drama,” Folalors laughed. Then she sobered. “Truly, though, you will have to awaken to what has happened and who you are first. That will require a bit of education, I think, and a proper cover. So continue doing what you must. Though if we have questions for Buer, now is the time to ask.” 

“I just…” tears filled Furina’s eyes, and she knelt down by the little god. “How do you do it? How do you be…an Archon? I think…I think that’s what’s happening, isn’t it? I pretended for so long, but I never was…” 

“You should ask someone else. I’m not a very good Archon,” Nahida said somberly. “I spent 500 years in a prison of my own making, and only recently have begun to take on the role of Archon in truth.”

Focalors snorted. “My dear, if you’re a poor Archon, then I well and truly failed. And I will have you know that Furina and I successfully averted the Prophecy that doomed Fontaine and saved everyone in it, save for ourselves. You have ‘merely’ saved three cities from a demon beast, and unless I very much miss my guess, have not only repelled the creature but transformed her from an enemy to an ally. Not to mention saving what, a billion lives from starvation in the past year alone?”

“My estimates place the number somewhat closer to 200 million in the last year, but knock-on effects of devastated harvest yields, and the smallpox outbreak in Madagascar that Tessa prevented, would have brought the number closer to one billion in the next several years,” Nahida admitted. 

“Tessa…that wouldn’t be that proto-Sovereign you’ve created, would it?” Focalors asked. “No, never mind. Buer, you are no child. You and my daughter both; harken to me. Do not let your doubts cloud your judgment, nor your misgivings pollute your self-worth. Both of you are excellent Archons, in the mold that would make any proud. You compare yourselves to Samiel and Egeria? Know that in such a comparison, not only are you worthy, but in many ways, superior. I knew both of them well, and they would find you superb heirs.”

“I…thank you, Lord Focalors,” Nahida said, bowing her head. “Your words are very kind.”

“They are Truth, for I am Justice. Or, well, I was Justice. Now I am merely her shade. But another has picked up my mantle. How do you judge Buer, daughter mine?” Focalors demanded. 

“Me?! But I’m not, I mean, am I really…?” Furina swallowed, feeling incredibly nervous as the spotlight focused on her. 

Then, a small hand fit into hers and gave her a squeeze. “It’s alright. I get scared too. When that happens, there’s only one thing to do.”

Furina nodded, and Focalors cocked her head to one side. 

“Think of your fear like bad gas. So just fart real loud, and let your fear poof away!” Nahida said. Then did just that. 

Furina’s jaw dropped open, while Focalors nearly doubled over laughing. “Such are the words of Wisdom herself! Take heed, my daughter. Your self-doubt is nothing but a case of indigestion, so break the wind and get over yourself!” 

“That is…very unladylike,” Furina muttered, but she couldn’t help smiling. “You are…not what I had thought you would be, when I heard of the Savior of Sumeru.”

“You’ll have to tell me the story sometime, but it would be of another Branch of Irminsul, not myself. I too would like to hear more of your story. Averting prophecy is something this world has dire need of,” Nahida said with a nod. “We don’t have much time left in this dream, so let me only say this: you have chosen a very wise path. The King of Demons, he who is the Tyrant of the Cycle and the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles of this world, is a monster. Keep yourself hidden from him as long as possible. We must work to avert the Fate this world is set upon. You have witnessed it here: it is the destruction of all.”

“But, don’t people have a right to know who their Archon is?” Furina asked. “And how can that be me?!”

“Those are questions you yourself must answer, Focalors. Yes, I know your name is Furina as well, but you are Focalors as much as Furina now. I too have wrestled with what it means to be an Archon. Someday, I would very much like to have tea with you and we can share our stories. For now, I will trust that you too will see the wisdom in dealing with the King of Demons, and that you will once more find a way to defy fate.”

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Furina whispered. “I…I’m just an ordinary woman…”

“Even a mortal can be called to extraordinary deeds when Fate demands it. Will you answer the call once more?” Nahida said. Then she opened her arms wide, and Furina knelt and hugged her. 

“Whatever you decide, know that I hope that one day, we can be friends,” Nahida whispered. 

“Of course. I…I hope so too, Nahida. And please. Call me Furina.”

They separated, and Buer smiled, then faded away, vanishing from the Dream entirely. 

“I am afraid it’s the curtain call for us as well, my daughter,” Focalors said as Furina stood back up, looking down at her hands in confusion.

“Focalors…mother…am…am I really…?” Furina whispered, tears in her eyes. 

She felt arms around her once more, and wept upon Focalor’s shoulder as she returned the embrace. 

“You will be whatever you wish to be, Furina. You can disregard this mantle, and the power will pass to another. You can walk away, and be an ordinary mortal girl, even if an extraordinarily beautiful and talented one. You know that, don’t you?”

“I…I suppose I do. But…” Furina swallowed, and opened her eyes, pushing back to meet Focalor’s eyes. “I could never do that. I don’t understand what needs to be done, but…I’ll do it.”

“You never did before, and yet, you performed spectacularly. Continue on the path you have set for yourself. Be true to your Justice, Furina, and, well. I would like to say all will be well, but you will at least do all you can to ensure that Fate, once more, is denied.”

“I saved all of Fontaine already. How hard can it be to save the entire world?” Furina laughed. She dashed the tears from her eyes, and strode to center stage. 

“Let the curtains rise! This shall be my most grand performance yet! Come, King of Demons! Come and dance with me, and I shall defeat you as I defeated the Prophecy! Let the world come alive, and the people sing, for we shall not be slaves again!” 

The audience stood and applauded, and Furina bowed as the curtains fell. 

Furina awoke with a start. She sat up in bed, and looked around. Yennifer was snoring softly beside her, and the clock read 3:13 am. Not even time to wake up yet. 

She blinked and looked down at her hands in the dim light. 

“Am…am I really…but I must be.” She lifted an arm and tried to summon…whatever it was. Her Archonness?

No, not yet. I’ve a plan. Be patient. The mantle is yours, but I think perhaps you need training. Plus, it will be more amusing this way.

Is this really happening? I feel no power. Am I not simply mad, and you a voice in my head? 

Ah, are we not all slightly mad, the gods even more so? But I think if you examine your heart, you will know the truth, Furina. Sleep well. 

Furina slowly lay back down, staring up at the ceiling. 

My life is a lie once more. Instead of pretending to be the Hydro Archon…now I have to pretend to be a mortal woman. 

She closed her eyes, and sobs wracked her body. She couldn’t do this. Not again. 

Rain began to pound against the windows, and Furina felt utterly miserable. 

Then, there was a stirring beside her. A moment later, Yennifer wrapped her arms about Furina. “It’s OK. Shhh. You’re not alone.”

That made Furina’s throat close up. How could Yennifer say that? “But I-”

“It’s alright. I love you. It’s enough. Go back to sleep.”

Somehow, that made the tension flow out of Furina, and she nodded, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as she clung to Yennifer tightly. In a few moments, she managed to find sleep again, despite her angst. 

Furina did miss the tears in Yennifer’s own eyes, and how she bit her lip when she realized she’d told Furina she loved her. 

Being given a divine gift did not make the ways of the heart any easier to understand. 

The Second Archon War: Interlude 16

Interlude 16: Don’t Go Into the Woods

Though it was late spring, the trees were coated in ice and frost, and the air was full of mist and snow. The Fatui patrol’s heavy boots crunched through drifts of snow as they made their way through the woods. It was a standard formation: A Pyro Agent led them, with an Anemo Boxer, Geo Chanter, Electro Citin Mage, and Hydro Gunner. None of them were parahumans, but all bore delusions. The five-man squad was the match for most Protectorate Cape teams, and was out on patrol along the northern flank of the Imperial Army. 

“Any sign of hostiles?” the Agent, one Ignat Volkov, asked, his voice gruff as he peered between the trees. 

“Nothing,” Dmitry Volnov, the electro mage said, one of his infused insects buzzing about his head. Then he paused. “Wait. They’re picking up some elemental energy. Not ours.”

“Could be a leftover from the Prince, we’re still in his storm,” Ekaterina Morozova, their Geo Channeler, said. 

“Mmm. Maybe,” Dmitry said with a shrug. “Bugs aren’t sure.”

“We’re not out here to go with maybes. We investigate. I’ll scout ahead,” Ignat said, pulling out his knives. He shimmered away to nothing, though his boot steps were still visible in the snow. 

“Finally, some action,” Alexey Nikitin chuckled, checking his gun. “We’ve been out here for an hour and seen nothing.”

“I like boring patrols,” Zlata Rumyantseva said, flexing her massive armored gauntlets. “No one tries to kill us.”

“Yes, but then we don’t get to kill anyone ourselves,” Alexey laughed. “And that is-”

There was the crack of a rifle, and all the fatui instinctively ducked, save for Ekaterina, who erected a geo barrier, slamming her staff down. They all faced in different directions, looking for the threat, as the echoing report was hard to pinpoint in the misty woods. 

“Fuck. They got the Sergeant,” Dmitry spat, pointing ahead of them. A body was now visible in the snow, with a red stain spreading in the snow. 

“Lucky shot,” Zlata growled, she looked about, then raised her fists and formed a wall of anemo. “I’ll get him.” 

She surged forward, taking long strides until she got to Ignat’s body. She knelt, hosting him over one shoulder, keeping one arm up to ward off further shots. She was just beginning back, when a second shot rang out, taking her in the head from an angle not protected by her barrier. She immediately went boneless, and now two corpses lay in the now bloody snow. 

“What the fuck? That’s just an ordinary rifle!” Alexey gasped. “I recognize the sound! That’s just a Mosin–Nagant!”

Gritting her teeth, Ekaterina said, “Relax, as long as we’re in the Geo Barrier, they can’t-”

A third bark, and a bullet took her right in the heart. Her barrier vanished, and she fell to the ground, her empty eyes wide with shock, blood spilling from her lips. 

Alexey and Dmitry both hit the dirt, trying to burrow down into the snow, their eyes wide with panic. 

“Shit, shit, SHIT!” Alexey gasped, holding his gun up and firing a steam of hydro blindly. “What do we do!?”

“My bugs are trying to find them. Hold,” Dmitry said, but his voice was tight. “It’s a sniper.”

“No shit it’s a sniper! They must think they’re the fucking White Death themselves!”

Good guess. 

Alexey flipped over in time to see a ghostly figure, clad in white and glowing faintly blue, point a M/28-30 rifle at his head. There was a sharp report, and Alexey jerked once, the bullet passing through his skull. 

“No! You! You’re dead! You can't be still alive!” Dmitry cried, and flung a sphere of electro at the ghost. Then watched in horror as it passed through the specter harmlessly. 

The White Death cannot die, the ghost said. The spirit’s face was disfigured, the left side contorted by a wound it had taken in life. Where its eyes should have been, only merciless icy pits remained. 

“No, no, please!” Dmitry gasped, and tried to scramble to his feet, stumbling away from the White Death. 

It calmly raised its rifle, then fired. Dmitry dropped, dead from a single bullet. 

For a moment, the forest was still, save for the buzzing of the electro infused bugs, now released from Dmitry’s control. The ghost scanned the woods, then faded into the mist. There were no bullet casings left behind, no lead found in or near the bodies of the slain. The White Death left no trace, save for the corpses it left in its wake. 

More Fatui patrols vanished, and many fatui officers were found dead from a single gunshot wound. Multiple times, The Witch or the Thief hunted down and banished the specter, only for it to reform hours or days later. This was not Simo Häyhä. That man had died in 2001, earlier than he did in Earth Aleph, where he passed six months later in 2002. This was the Spirit of Finland, the spirit of resistance. The memories and rage of a nation, given form. 

Ghosts now walked blood-stained battlefields. And they were hungry. 

“Goooood morning, boyos! It’s another fan-tastic summer day in good ole Finland! Who’s up for a walk in the woods? Maybe we’ll earn a merit badge for being such good scouts!” 

Sighing, Carlo looked up from his coffee as the freckle-faced ray of sunshine known as Shamrock strolled into the mess tent, a wide grin on her face. How the hell she was so peppy at 0300 in the damn morning baffled him. Still, it was hard to stay grouchy at her. “Buenos dias, Katie.” 

“It is a good day to die,” Gregor the Snail grumbled. Unlike the rather pretty Katie “Shamrock” O’Brian, Gregor the Snail was a hideous man. He had translucent skin that was encrusted with bits of shell like a bad case of acne, and was morbidly obese to boot. He could also secrete a number of chemicals from his body, from adhesives, to acids, to even a flame retardant foam. He was also incredibly durable, and nearly immune to all blunt force trauma. Depending on the chemicals he produced, he could even resist some elemental reactions. 

“I disagree, Mr. Worf! Ain’t no day that’s a good day to die, because livin’ is just too much fun!” Katie laughed, taking a seat to Gregor’s life. She nudged the giant bug monster to the other side of her. “And how are you doing today, Roach?” 

The response was clicking mandibles, and then an awkward thumbs up from Roach. The man, or well, thing really, didn’t talk much, mostly because he didn’t have a mouth that could replicate human speech. It was a bit odd to see what amounted to an enormous cockroach eating scrambled eggs and hashbrowns with a fork like the rest of them, but it did seem appropriate. He might look like a bug, but Roach was a solid and reliable teammate, who had saved Carlo’s ass with his odd sensory abilities more than once. 

“Hey, Carlo. What’s the weather today?” Katie asked brightly. 

“Hmm, let me see,” Carlo made a show of peering through the mess tent flap to the blackness behind. “Well, looks like shit again. Mostly cloudy with a chance of Fatui. And pray there is no Harbinger in the forecast.”

“A sentiment we can all agree with, Pavo. But alas, it’s time to rumble with the Ruskies again!” 

“Mornin’ LT!” Katie said brightly as the last member of their squad joined them. 

“No need to be so formal,” their leader said with a smile, setting her mouse-eared helmet down on the table. “It might be cheesy, but I consider you guys family! Just call me MP, or Mina. Just don’t call me late for dinner!” 

The most senior member of the squad, Lieutenant Mina “Mouse Protector” Fieldman, was an old school cape, so old school that she’d been one of the original Wards way back in ‘94.  She was only a couple of years older than Carlo, but she’d had her powers for over a decade, while he’d gotten his less than a month ago. He’d barely finished training before being shipped off to Finland to fight the Tsaritsa. 

Even an old-school cape, or perhaps especially an old-school cape, was unprepared for the sort of war the Protectorate found itself embroiled in. This wasn’t heroes and villains clashing in the streets, or bank robberies and drug deals. This was a vicious, bloody, and brutal campaign of conquest, fought between people wielding powers that mortals were not meant to have. 

“We should respect the chain of command, yeah?” Gregor said in his gurgly voice. He had an odd accent, somewhat reminiscent of what the locals sounded like, actually, but he was a Protectorate cape from the Case 53 Program, the same as Roach and Shamrock. That was the designation for capes who as a result of their trigger event, suffered some sort of memory loss. Shamrock was an edge case: most 53s were horrifically disfigured with their biology dramatically altered. 

As far as Carlo could tell, Shamrock was a perfectly ordinary woman, albeit one you did not want to play cards with. She had what the egg heads called a “probability alteration field” and everyone else called super luck. The most unlikely of events always seemed to happen around Shamrock, though that could be a double-edged sword since that meant good and bad things. 

In contrast, Carlo was a result of the PATRIOT program, the Parahuman Augmentation and Tactical Response through Induced Organic Transmutation. That was a fancy way of saying he’d been shot up with a vial at a Protectorate medical facility that had created an artificial trigger event. The powers he’d gotten were top shelf: Standard Alexandria Package, though not nearly so potent as hers. He could lift up to one and a half tons and fly at speeds of up to 150mph, which was rather impressive, but put him as a middle-rank Parahuman. He only had Brute and Mover powers, no Thinker or Blaster rating that could have helped him stand out. 

“We’re not really the military,” Carlo said with a shrug. “If the Lieutenant wants us to call her Mina, well, I’m just following orders, no?” 

“Exactly, thank you, Carlo,” Mina said with a wink at him. Then she sobered. “We’ve got a real wingdinger today though, folks. We’re going to have to stick our whiskers way out in the cold for this one.” 

Taking out a topographic map of the area, Mina unrolled it on the table as the others moved aside their breakfast trays. It showed the surrounding area, north east of Porvoo. They were getting close to Helsinki, with everything the Protectorate and Knights could do only slowing down the inexorable assault of what seemed like endless waves of Fatui, backed by three Harbingers. 

“Something’s got the Fatui spooked, and it’s not us,” Mouse Protector said, tracing a line north of the road. “The chatter we’re picking up says that their patrols are disappearing, and they’re blaming something called ‘The White Death.’” 

“I heard about that,” Carlo commented. “We sure old Simo is dead? Didn’t come out of the nursing home to bag a few more Russians?” 

Mina shook her head. “He is, but his rifle is missing. Could be someone stole it, but word from command is that they had it locked up tight, and it just up and disappeared. A few of our patrols claim to have seen a spectral figure stalking the woods. The groups they’ve sent to look for it have turned up empty. So they’re hoping we’ll get lucky.”

“Aw shucks, do you mean little old me?” Katie said, batting her eyes at Mina.

The Lieutenant, however, nodded soberly. “We do. We’re hoping whatever you do to probability will work in our favor, and we’ll track down this supposed ghost. At the very least, if they have Simo’s rifle, the Finns want it, badly. That thing is storied enough to be scary. Especially since it’s claimed to have killed 500 Russians.” 

Unconsciously, Carlo’s hand went to the Model 1860 Heavy Cavalry Saber at his hip. It had been first wielded by Lieutenant Ezra J. Harlan, an officer in the 6th Pennsylvania Cavalry. Ezra had taken part in several battles in the Civil War before dying at the Battle of Gettysburg, his weapon was recovered and sent to his family. His grandson, Corporal Jerom T Harlan, used it in the Spanish-American War as a member of the famous Rough Riders, and it had been used again by Major Matthew E Harlan in the trenches of World War 1, before being donated to the Gettysburg Museum of History after Major Matthew died without a son of the Spanish Flu.

From there, the Protectorate had picked up the blade, along with every other weapon of historical significance large or small in the entire country. Carlo had been issued the weapon by a historian who had drilled into him the historical significance of the weapon and its various wielders. Sometimes, when he used the weapon in battle, Carlo could feel the spirits of the various wielders. It sent goosebumps down his spine and made him wonder if his brother Diego had the right of things with the shrine he maintained to the Our Lady of Zapopan. Even if she had spectacularly failed to save Guadalajara from the Behemoth. 

“A stroll in the woods just like Katie asked for. Should be a balmy summer day,” Carlo said in chipper tones. 

“If this is the summer, I’d hate to see the winter,” Gregor muttered, and Roach clacked his mandibles, a sign that he agreed with what was said. 

“We’ll venture out of our hole, take a peak, and hope the cats don’t pounce on us. Maybe we’ll get the cheese while we’re at it,” Mina said, and crammed her helmet on her head. “Alrighty folks, let’s scamper on out!”

Outside the tent, the air was a frigid -2°F, despite being nearly May. The sky was overcast, and snow drifted down glowing with an unnatural light. The entire Scandinavian peninsula had been covered in a great blizzard upon the decree of the Princess. Apparently, she had something called a “gnosis” that allowed her broad-scale weather control nearly on the level of her mother. 

Carlo lifted into the sky, putting a finger to his radio. “Mic check. Can you read me?”

“Loud and clear, Carl! Have fun!” Katie said brightly. 

“Copy, Pavo,” Mina said, and the others echoed her. 

The “Pavo” made Carlo grin. As an old school cape, Mina had insisted that they all get cape names, despite the fact that more and more that wasn’t how the Protectorate operated. Carlo didn’t even wear a mask, instead having a see-through visor on his helmet just to keep the wind and snow out of his face as he flew. 

He stayed above the squad as they ventured out into the woods, avoiding roads and open fields. Even this close to the NATO lines, you never knew when you stumbled across the Fatui. Burned out buildings, shattered tree stumps, and broken vehicles showed where clashes had taken place, though the bodies had been mostly removed. The Protectorate zealously grabbed any Fatui corpses they could, especially if they had an intact Delusion. Carlo hadn’t earned one himself, though Mina had an Anemo one. She had to use is sparingly, as they apparently drained your life force. 

A price worth paying in Carlo’s opinion. Dying at the age of 40 instead of 80 sounded appealing when Carlo could very easily end up dead at 21 from a Fatui’s ambush if he didn’t use every scrap of power he had. 

After two hours, they hadn’t seen any sign of the Fatui, which Carlo largely attributed to Shamrock’s luck. With the horrible weather, however, that didn’t mean their enemies weren’t close by. Carlo had to keep low, no more than a few meters above the trees, as the constant mists and darkness meant he couldn’t see very far. 

He was just scouting ahead when he came to what looked like a very recent battlefield. Several trees had been knocked down, and there were corpses surrounded by fresh blood in the snow. 

“Contact!” he hissed into his radio. “Looks like an entire fatui patrol, dead. And something knocked down a bunch of trees.”

“Hold position!” Mina ordered. “Roach, Shamrock, move up ahead. Snail, stick with me. Ears and whiskers up, people!” 

Carlo ducked down behind a treetop, and kept his eyes open for movement. He didn’t see anything moving, but studied the battlefield carefully. The snow had been churned up, along with the earth, and there were a great many prints from what looked like a horse all around. Indeed, the bodies now that Carlo studied them more closely seemed to have been trampled to death in most cases, though one seemed to have been driven through a tree, as the fatuus has been impaled on the branches of a now knocked-down pine. 

The rest of the squad moved up, and Carlo dropped down beside Mina, who was crouched behind a tree. 

“Anything?” she whispered to him, and he silently shook his head. 

Mina nibbled on her thumb for a moment, then slowly stood. “Alright, we move forward and fan out. Roach, see if you can figure out what did this.”

The bug monster scrambled forward on all six limbs, antennae waving over the fallen bodies while the rest of the squad advanced to the other side of the clearing.

“Hey, LT! Look here,” Shamrock called, and Mina went over to investigate while Carlo flew back up to scan for whatever had done this above them. He could just barely make out their hushed voices on the wind. 

“Tracks go off that way. Not real subtle, whatever did this was big, and angry,” Katie said. 

Mina bent to study the trampled ground, then nodded. “What do you think, moose, maybe?”

“I’m no hunter, but the tracks seem a bit big for a moose. And there’s an awful lot of them. Plus…do you really think one moose could take out a whole fatui patrol? I know one messed up a couple of our guys last week, but they were just regular GI Joes, not capes.”

“Yeah, something about this doesn’t seem right… OK, people, huddle up! “

Carlo dropped down as Gregor and Roach huddled around Mina, though Carlo kept an eye out for more fatui, or whatever had done this. 

“Right, I’m thinking we got an enlightened beast on our hands,” Mina said. “Or, potentially, something really nasty wandered all the way over from the Storm Range. That seems suspect, but we’ve been hearing stories of real monsters over there,” Mina said, her voice low but firm. “Either way, we need to track it and see what it is. If it’s an uplifted animal, we need to recruit it. There’s only a handful on record, but they’re all dangerously powerful, from that Kitsune and her Tanuki in Japan, to Ziz the Owl who threw down with the Prince and lived. So if it’s a potential ally, we need to find it.”

“And if it is a nasty beast, we need to kill it. Joy,” Gregor sighed. 

“Eh, if it stays in Fatui territory we leave it the hell alone because it’s solving our problems for us. But let’s just hope it’s a nice fluffy moose friend,” Mina said with a smile. 

“Your optimism does you credit, Mina, but I think perhaps we should plan for Gregor’s monster,” Carlo said with an answering grimace. 

“True enough! Alright, let’s keep on alert so we can make it back to our hole in one piece,” Mina ordered. 

They fanned out and followed the tracks for half a mile before they came to a frozen lake. The tracks ended there, though there was some broken ice that indicated whatever it was had gone out onto the ice. 

“What do we do?” Carlo asked, grimacing at the clear air over the lake. There was no cover, and if the Fatui were watching, he’d be a sitting, well, peacock. 

“Hmm. I don’t like this. Smells like a mousetrap,” Mina said, rubbing the tip of her nose and grimacing. “Ok. Here’s what we do: Shamrock, Snail, Roach: you take the eastern side. Pavo, you’re with me on the Western bank. We meet up at the northern edge. It’s only about a mile long on my map, and half a mile wide. Keep in radio contact.” 

“Copy,” Carlo agreed and dropped down into the snow by Mina’s side as the others moved off. Something in the chill air was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and Carlo unsheathed his sword. 

“Your whiskers twitching too?” Mina asked quietly as they began to creep through the trees at the edge of the lake. 

“Something like that,” Carlo agreed, noting that Mina had unslung her sword and shield, which was emblazoned with a stylized mouse with bristling whiskers. 

“You know, I never asked, but why didn’t they give you a historic blade?” Carlo whispered as they moved. 

Mina grinned and held up her sword. “They told me I’ve used this one so much that it’s started to collect memories, and that I’m popular enough that people have started to believe it’s something special! It’s actually a replica of Martin the Warrior’s sword.”

“Martin the Warrior?” Carlo frowned, the name was unfamiliar. “What war did he fight in?” 

Mina blushed quite prettily, looking embarrassed. She was rather cute, in, well, a mousy sort of way. Normally not the sort of girl Carlo looked at twice, but he was growing fond of his Lieutenant. Endless mouse puns and all. 

“Um, he didn’t. It’s from my favorite novel, Redwall. Martin was the legendary protector of Redwall Abbey and a great Warrior Mouse. He’s, well, he’s sort of who I named myself after. That’s him on my shield. That’s why my sword says  ‘AM THAT IS.’”

“Really? And here, I took you for a Disney lover,” Carlo chuckled. 

“Oh, I did love Disney too! Bet you can’t guess my favorite movie!”

“The Great Mouse Detective?” 

“Close. The Rescuers. I- WOAH!” 

Both froze as they stepped into a clearing, where what Carlo had first taken to be a clump of trees turned towards them. It was shaped like a moose, but far, far larger, closer to the size of an elephant. The antlers were so big they could have cradled a small car, though they looked to be grown from wood rather than horn. The thing's head was a bare skull, with glowing red eyes. The body was made from what looked like bark, and it had six legs, spindly and ending in stumps of wood. 

“What the fuck,” Carlo breathed. 

The monster stomped its hooves, then charged, snorting out a billow of black smoke as it did so. 

Reflexively, Carlo grabbed Mina around the waist and shot up into the air, out of the demon moose’s path. It barreled right through two trees, a bugling cry that sounded like a damned soul echoing from the skull. Carlo shot up to above the trees, Mina clinging to him tightly, eyes wide with terror. The two watched, hovering above the beast as it stomped and circled. Thankfully, it didn’t look up, and Carlo decided it was time to be anywhere else. 

He flew back the way they’d come, speeding along, pressing Mina close to him. She was trembling, and he didn’t think it was the icy wind. Hell, he was shivering. Whatever that thing was, it was completely terrifying. 

“Squad, retreat,” Mina said, her voice quavering more than a little. “Fall back beyond the battleground, double time!  We have a…a demon moose on our hands.”

“Demon moose?” Katie’s voice asked. Then she squawked. “Greg! What are you-”

“Boss says fall back, demon moose. We fall back,” Gregor’s voice said stoically. 

“Put me down! I can walk!”

“I am putting you down when we are retreated. Roach, keep up.”

Carlo found Gregor, who was carrying Katie in both arms as he barreled through the woods. For a fat guy, he really could move when he wanted to. Roach was scuttling along beside him, antennae waving frantically. 

Gregor did not set Katie down when they got to the battlefield, and Carlo didn’t put Mina down either. She didn’t ask to be set down, so he simply kept flying above Gregor, making for the base camp as quickly as they could. They made excellent time, and thankfully didn’t encounter any Fatui along the way. 

The demon moose had probably killed them all, anyway. 

When they arrived back at camp, Carlo hovered above the entrance, holding Mina, who still had her arms wrapped about him. 

“You can put me down now, you know,” she said, but she was pressing herself against him and didn’t sound terribly urgent. 

“I could,” he allowed. He stayed hovering though, and Mina didn’t seem to mind. “LT…have you ever seen anything like that thing?”

Mina swallowed and nodded. “Once. I fought an abomination made by Pater. Before she defected, when she was called Bonesaw. It was…it was a lot like that thing.”

“I see,” Karlo said. He shuddered. “I do not think I will sleep well tonight.”

“Me neither. But I’ve got to make my report. So…put me down. For now.”

Carlo complied, and Mina walked over to Gregor, who was doubled over and panting, with Katie rubbing his back. “Good work. Go get some hot cheese and some bunk time. Who knows when the next battle will be.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Katie agreed. She looked over at Carlo, her brow furrowed. “What was that…demon moose?”

“It was…well it was a demon moose monster thing,” Mina said, putting her hands on her head like a pair of antlers. “You know. Grrrr.”

“It had no face, just a skull, and seemed to have been grown from wood, and had six legs. There was a body in the snow where we found it, and it had blood on its teeth. I think it was eating one of its victims,” Carlo said. 

Katie turned green, and Roach waved his antenna in a disconcerting fashion. Gregor looked like that was exactly what he had expected. 

“Demon moose. Boss is smart. We run,” Gregor wheezed. He managed to straighten and salute. “Good mission. No one died.”

“No one died,” Mina said with a shaky laugh. She turned to Carlo. “Maybe you’d better come and help me make that report. You noticed a lot more than I did.”

“Of course,” he agreed. 

They reported to an exhausted Finnish Colonel and a Favonian Captain along with Legend. The Colonel nodded and said, “Hiiden hirvi.” 

“That is?” Legend asked. 

The colonel considered, then shrugged. “Demon moose.”

“And they’re just real now?” Carlo asked, feeling a bit sick. 

The Finn shrugged again. “It lures hunters to the underworld. If it kills Fatui, I see no reason to hunt it.”

“Right…” Mina said, looking as sick as Carlo felt. 

“Good work, Lieutenant. You and your squad get some rest. The Fatui are preparing a major offensive to take Helsinki, and we need to push them back. Maybe this…demon moose…will help buy us some time,” Legend told them. “Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir, General,” Mina said, and saluted crisply. Carlo copied the gesture, then followed her out of the command tent, and all the way back to her own tent. 

“Um, this is my tent, so…good night,” Mina said, turning and blushing up at Carlo. 

He smiled at her. He’d always been good with women. Very good, in fact. He knew how to make them smile, make them laugh. Charm them. “It is your tent. I think you said you wouldn’t get much sleep tonight.”

“No, I…probably won’t,” Mina said with a shudder.

Carlo stepped in closer, putting a hand to Mina’s chin. Her breath caught, and he leaned in, kissing her gently. “I will not either. Perhaps we could not sleep together.”

She groaned softly, putting a hand to his chest. “Carlo…”

“Mina,” he whispered and nibbled at her ear.

“Carlo!”

He paused, the note in her voice a clear rejection. “Something wrong?”

“You’re…in my chain of command,” Mina said, gently stepping back. “I…I would like to spend the night, but…look. Maybe after all this is over. But not now. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Pah. The chain of command? That doesn’t matter. We’re all just soldiers, and the night is cold.”

“It matters to me, Carlo. So…no. Not tonight. But…maybe someday. I like you, a lot, actually. But…not when you’re under my command. That would make things…hard.”

Carlo felt a surge of irritation at that. He never liked rejection, especially not from a pretty woman. But he bowed his head and nodded. “Of course, Lieutenant.”

“Mina. Please. Just Mina,” she said. Then, biting her lip, she stepped in quickly, and pecked Carlo on the cheek. “Thank you, Carlo. For saving my life tonight.”

“Any time, Mina. Buenos noches, mi amor.”

“Good night, handsome.”

Then, Mina went into her tent alone. Carlo stood in the cold for a moment, then shrugged and went back to the tent he shared with Gregor and Roach. He was just about to go in when he heard a moan and gasp, then a grunt, along with some wet slapping noises. He looked around and found Roach beckoning to him. He went over, and the bug man handed him a steaming cup.

“Katie and Gregor?” he asked incredulously. 

Roach waved his arms in an approximation of a shrug. 

“Huh. Who’d have thought that ugly bastard would get laid before me,” Carlo mused. 

Roach tilted his head to one side and flexed his mandibles, which Carlo took for a question. 

“The Lieutenant is quite pretty, don’t you think? But, alas, she has a strong moral compass. Won’t sleep with a subordinate,” Carlo said with a chuckle. 

Roach’s antenna waved a positive, and Carlo shrugged, sipping the drink before it cooled. It turned out to be rather sweet hot chocolate. Not something he normally favored, but it was nice in the chill air. 

After about 15 minutes, Katie poked her head out of the tent. “We’re finished and I’m decent. Thanks for waiting, boys.”

Carlo nodded, and he and Roach went into the tent. Gregor was sitting up, dressed only in his boxers and looking embarrassed. “This is not causing problems, yes?”

“Good for you, man,” Carlo said, and offered a fist to Gregor, who bumped it. 

“I know, I know, he’s way out of my league, but how could a girl resist this handsome lug?” Katie said, laying down atop Gregor and wrapping them both in a blanket. She hesitated, then asked, “Seriously, we’re cool?”

“Just put a sock on the door when you want to get busy, and we’re fine. I can understand not wanting to sleep alone,” Carlo told them, then stripped out of his clothes and hastily changed, not caring if Katie saw. They were a team, and why should he care if the people who he depended on for his very life saw his bare ass? 

After that, he wrapped himself in his blanket and lay on his cot. Despite what he’d said, he did manage to fall asleep, even if his dreams were haunted by a demonic moose. What was the world coming to? Where had that…hiden..hervaz or whatever come from? Diego might have known. He liked old stories like that. 

I should write him, Carlo thought before he drifted off. 

He never did, though. Grudges ran deep in the hearts of men. 

And when they did, their demons arose from their ancestral memories to express that anger. Finland was merely the first place the Leylines began to run rampant. It would not be the last. 

Author’s Note:

Originally, the leader of Carlo’s Squad was going to be Faultline. However, Faultline at this point is probably still a teenager and hasn’t triggered yet. Thus, it’s time for fan favorite Mouse Protector to step in! 

…let’s just hope she manages to keep far, far away from Pater. 

Anyway, if you’re wondering…

Demon moose. 

The Broad Side of a Barn: Chapter 8

Kazuma blinked and looked around. Was this the dream? If it was, it was definitely not what he’d thought Darkness would imagine. He was in an absolutely massive cathedral, made of shining marble  with flying buttresses,  filled with expensive-looking statuary depicting the goddess Eris. He walked over to inspect a series of images that seemed to depict her history. To his surprise, the icons started off not with the goddess in the feather mantle he was used to, but what looked like a mortal baby being born. The next icon depicted…

“Huh, that looks a lot like Chris,” Kazuma mused, examining what looked like a silver-haired thief fighting demons. He blinked. “Waiiiit a minute…”

“Kazuma? Why are you naked?” 

Whatever Kazuma had been about to realize, it vanished from his mind as he turned around to find Darkness beside the altar, dressed in an absolutely spectacular wedding dress. It wasn’t a slutty one either, but a classical tight fitting silk gown that was somehow much sexier despite covering everything but her bare shoulders. She even had a long train and veil, and was holding a bouquet of white roses. 

That said, Kazuma looked down at himself and blushed deeply, as while Darkness was perhaps overdressed for the occasion, Kazuma was in his birthday suit. Despite himself, he grabbed one of the icons of Eris and used it to cover himself. “H-hey, why are you dressed like a bride?!” 

Now it was Darkness’ turn to start in shock. She looked down at herself and blushed deeply, holding the bouquet to her chest. “I-I did not, I mean, I do intend…but this is too soon!”

“Oh wow. This is not going to work at all,” Lolisa said, appearing amongst the pews. “I mean, this might be your kink, Darkness, but uh…yeah, I’d feel really bad if I profaned a holy place with a sex ed class…”

“Aren’t you a demon?” Kazuma said. “Isn’t profaning holy places, like, your whole thing?”

Lolisa gave him a flat look. “No, Kazuma. Maybe some demons are into that, but I personally have nothing but respect for the gods.”

Kazuma arched an eyebrow. “Really? All the gods?” 

“Um,” Lolisa winced. “Well, uh, Aqua does make a lot of people very happy? Even if I’ve met imps who are smarter…”

“She is my friend, and a goddess. Kindly do not insult her,” Darkness said coldly. 

“Tina, sweetie…she really is,” Kazuma said with a heavy sigh. 

“Yes, well, I don’t know Lolisa well enough to…never mind. I, ah confess I did not intend us to arrive in a church, but, um, I was considering…well…”

“You’re thinking of marriage already!?” Kazuma yipped. 

“And you are not? Kazuma, if this is going to last, this is where it must go,” Darkness said, gesturing to the altar. “Surely you realize that. I will not be content with a simple fling, and a woman of my station cannot afford to have illegitimate children. Even if they are born six months after the wedding.”

“You…wait, seriously? That happens?” Kazuma asked. 

“If you check my date of birth and the date of my parents' nuptials, a bit of basic math reveals a great deal,” Darkness said with a small smile. “Nor, I will add, are they unique in that regard.”

“Yeah, we need a more appropriate venue to discuss this, churches make me uncomfortable. Something about the smiting and the burning,” Lolisa said with a sigh. She snapped her fingers, the room spun about, making Kazuma stagger and drop the icon, which vanished. When things stopped, they were in a bedroom with two large beds and a couch, which he, Lolisa, and Darkness were all sitting on. The room itself was brightly lit, and decorated in a homey style, with linen bedsheets and a few paintings on the wall of various landscape scenes. 

“Alright, here we are!” Lolisa said, jumping off of the couch. “Welcome to Lolisa’s um, Pleasing your Partner Class! I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve changed you both into something more comfortable.”

Kazuma looked down at himself, somewhat relieved to find he was wearing boxers and an undershirt, while Darkness had on her nightgown. Lolisa herself was no longer dressed like a Japanese therapist, but had on a thin green nightgown with hearts embroidered on it. She’d also gone back to her human disguise, her tail and horns disappearing. 

“This is rather incredible, Lolisa, but what does this class entail?” Darkness asked, looking around the room in surprise. 

“I’ll be showing you various bedroom techniques, then you two get to try them out! Consider it a personalized coaching session,” Lolisa said. She gestured, and a plain looking man appeared on the bed. He was the sort of person that you’d pass on the street and never look twice at, with an age somewhere between 20 and 30. 

“This is…we’ll call him Joe. He’s not a real person, more of a training dummy,” Lolisa explained. “Now, he’ll be showing off a few techniques that can help stimulate your partner as the male, while I provide the female example. Unless you’re uncomfortable seeing me, of course, then I’ll use a non-descript female stand-in.”

“I would be more comfortable with, ah, the stand-in,” Darkness said, blushing. “I…I do not wish Kazuma to see…you…naked.”

“Totally understandable,” Lolisa agreed, and spun about. She was replaced with a plain looking woman, who was of rather average build, with features Kazuma would have considered cute, but in a background NPC sort of way. Definitely not main girl material, or even side character. 

“Ok, this is Jane! Jane and Joe are both adults, who want to have sex!” Lolisa’s voice said, coming from nowhere. “Yay! Now, Kazuma, you might not know this, but most women report that they can’t fully climax just from vaginal penetration. Women are also just, very different than men. Most need to get ‘warmed up’ first.”

“Warmed up?” Kazuma said, glancing at Darkness, and she frowned. 

“I am…uncertain. No one ever, well, had a frank conversation about sex with me. I…I was a bit uncertain as to, ah, where you would even put your member,” Darkness admitted. 

“We’ll get into other orifices later! This is just the beginner course,” Lolisa’s voice said. 

Jane and Joe took their clothes off, and began to kiss and caress one another. Kazuma blushed heavily, while Darkness gasped and covered her face, but didn’t look away. 

“Now, there are various erogenous zones. You’ll have to experiment with what your partner enjoys, but…”

Lolisa narrated as the two NPCs, that was the only way Kazuma could describe them, began to caress one another. Joe used his fingers to stimulate Jane, until she began to get wet between her legs. As Lolisa explained, 

“A woman gets wet as a sign of sexual arousal. It’s a natural lubricant, though often it helps to have a little something more. Even then, though, there’s more to it than that! Let’s talk about oral sex.”

Kazuma watched in fascination as Lolisa explained what Joe was doing. A screen in the air even popped up and showed a close-up diagram, and Lolisa walked them through various techniques. 

“That, ah, l-looks very…interesting,” Darkness said, face red. “What about, um…w-what should I do?”

“We’ll cover blowjobs later, for now, just know that this sort of foreplay is vital if you want a fun experience! While most women report that they need other forms of stimulation to be sexually satisfied, most men report that they have no trouble climaxing with just vaginal intercourse, and indeed, that’s by far the most popular form. Though, honestly, almost all the men I’ve talked to or serviced are happy with just about anything, even a hand job! Speaking of, sometimes, your partner needs a little stimulation to get his own game on!”

Jane then showed off how to handle a penis, with Lolisa emphasising that cupping the balls was fun, but squeezing them was a certain way to ruin everything. “The testes are extremely sensitive!  A gentle touch can be amazing, but even a flick could cause intense pain, so handle this package with care!” 

Jane also kissed Joe’s penis, until the man had a ragging stiffie. Kazuma glanced down at himself, frowning. Was he smaller?

“Don’t worry, yours is much larger,” Darkness assured him. 

“You’re perfectly ordinary, Kazuma, and on the high end! Fourteen centimeters is actually in the top quartile of penises! Congrats!” Lolisa’s chipper voice said. “But honestly, most women report that an average penis is much more satisfying than a monster. Too big a penis can be downright painful! Sort of like overly large breasts, actually. My sympathies to your back, Tina, even if you have my jealous admiration.” 

Darkness grimaced and put her arms under her breasts. “I enjoy pain, but they do grow…awkward…at times.”

“Your boobs are perfect and nothing can change my mind on that fact,” Kazuma declared flatly, reaching over to give them a squeeze, which made Darkness moan happily. 

“Now, onto actual intercourse! There are many positions to try, of course! Missionary is the most popular for a reason though, so we’ll demonstrate that now.”

Jane lay back, with Joe straddling her. She guided him in, and the two embraced, both moving rhythmically together. 

“Don’t try to just pound away as fast as you can. Find a rhythm that your partner likes, and stick to it! Be an active participant! Moving together like a dance definitely improves the experience, as does being vocal about what you like!” 

“Yes, yes, right there! Joe, I love you!” 

“Gods, you’re so hot Jane! I love you!”

To Kazuma’s surprise, it lasted only for about five minutes before both cried out, Joe thrusting into Jane and her shuddering under him. 

“Hurrah! Both partners are happy and satisfied! Now, it’s important to remember the male refractory period, but both men and women usually need a bit of a break! Cuddle, talk, and enjoy yourselves!”

“Male…refractory period?” Darkness asked, puzzled, and Jane and Joe hugged and whispered to one another, laughing and smiling. 

“Yes: after ejaculation, men can’t become erect and are actually averse to sexual activities for a period of time. It varies greatly; anywhere from a few minutes to a whole day! Being sick, tired, or in a poor mental state can lead to a longer recovery time.”

“Oh!” Darkness’ eyes went wide. “But, I am always ready for more!” 

“Yes,” Lolisa appeared, licking her lips slightly. “You’re… unique. Most women have little to no refractory period, and some achieve multiple orgasms during sex, either as a part of foreplay or penetration. As a trade-off though, most women have significantly lower libido than men. You…don’t.”

“She’s saying your turbo horny,” Kazuma translated, and Darkness hid her head in her hands. 

Lolisa appeared on the couch and hugged Darkness. “It’s ok! I’m horny all the time too, though, um, that’s an aspect of my biology. You just have a higher-than-average libido. Um, significantly so. You’re honestly the most eager woman I’ve ever met, and, well, I’m a few hundred years old and work in the sex trade. I don’t usually service women, but, well, sometimes you’re starving and you take what’s on offer.”

“I, um, I-I do not normally find women so…enticing…as men, but, um, there was one time, with Claire, w-when we were younger…” Darkness said, peeking out between her fingers. 

Kazuma sat back, mouth gaping. “You…you were into yuri with…with the Suit!?” 

“I-it was not like with you, but, um, w-well…we kissed, and, um, caressed,” Darkness admitted. “We were quite young…Claire was, ah… disappointed…when I did not wish to take things further…”

“I knew she was a raging dyke,” Kazuma said, snapping his fingers. “OW!” 

Darkness glared at Kazuma, lowering her hand after cuffing him. “Do not insult her, Kazuma. She is a dear friend, even if, ah, we did not become lovers. I was more surprised than anything by what she did, but she never brought it up again…you are not jealous, are you?”

“I know what’s going in the spank bank now,” Kazuma said dreamily, imagining the two bustiest women he’d ever met in hot yuri action. 

“You have not…that is, have you been with another woman? Or a man? I recall something about you and Dust…” Darkness said, blushing and trailing off. 

“NO! That was a TOTAL MIX UP,” Kazuma said, making an X with his arms. “Huh uh! And, uh, well, unless you count my right hand, I, um, haven’t had any other lovers.”

“I see. And you find me…satisfying?” Darkness said, sounding uncertain. 

“More than you could know,” Kazuma said, leaning in to kiss Darkness. 

“I’ll let you two get intimate. In the dream, you can do whatever you’d like! I’ve eliminated your refractory period, Kazuma, as per usual. Just enjoy yourselves! If you want tips, ask me, but I’ll just fade away into the background,” Lolisa’s voice said, and when Kazuma and Darkness broke off the kiss, she, along with Jane and Joe, were gone, leaving only the couch and bed. 

“I’m pretty damn horny for you right now,” Kazuma said, and then scooped Darkness up in a bridal carry. She felt light in his arms, and he mentally thanked Lolisa, because he just knew if he tried this IRL he’d be staggering. 

She clung to him, and Kazuma laid her out on the bed, then helped her out of her dress, while she peeled off his shorts and shirt. They kissed again, sitting next to one another. Kazuma reached over and squeezed Darkness’ breast, while she reached down and cupped his balls. He gasped, and she jerked her hand back. “Oh! S-sorry, did I…?”

“No, that just felt amazing, do it again,” Kazuma said, feeling a bit dizzy. “Gently, like that.”

“Harder for me. I want to feel it, Kazuma. Make it painful!” Darkness begged. 

He did twist and pinch, which she seemed to love, then bent her over and spanked her, making her gasp with pleasure. He also tried stroking her like he’d seen, and that really turned on the waterworks. He lay her back down and began to lick at her, copying the technique. It tasted…well, kind of citrus-y? It was a bit salty and mildly sweet and acidic, and fucking incredible. Truly, the meal of the gods. 

When he had Darkness moaning and shuddering with pleasure, Kazuma sat up, then crawled atop her to kiss her. “How was that?”

“A-amazing,” Darkness gasped, clinging to him. “Please, master. I need your seed! Fill me up! Master me completely!” 

“Oh shut it, you stupid whore!” Kazuma said, and slapped her boobs, which made her groan. “You think you’ve earned that?! Show me how to use your mouth!” 

Darkness eagerly kissed Kazuma’s penis, then hesitated. “Um, Lolisa, how do I…?”

“Start with your hand. Lube up a bit, there’s a bottle of oil on the bed, then stroke it like you’re rubbing a cat. Delicately, but with some firmness.”

Darkness complied, and Kazuma gasped at the sensation. 

“Good! Now, the key is, no teeth. Like you’re sucking on hard candy, or an ice pop. Keep your lips over your teeth. There, good!” 

Kazuma shuddered and gripped Darkness’ head as she took him completely in her mouth. 

“Lick it, and move up and down. Go as deep as you’re comfortable with. Some people have a stronger gag reflex and- oh, wow! I guess you don’t really have one!”

“D-Darkness!” Kazuma groaned, as she swallowed him completely, then pulled back, only to do it again, and again. 

“Fuck, I-I, I’m going to-” Kazuma gasped. 

“It’s safe to swallow semen for human women, even if you don’t get sustenance from it like I do. It can be a bit surprising the first time, as it really does squirt out with some force. Some women don’t like the taste or find it unpleasant to have their partner's orgasm in their mouths, so they use their hands to finish. You can do it however you find best!”

Darkness seemed intent on discovering what Kazuma tasted like, as she just licked harder and went faster. He pulled at her hair and bucked involuntarily against her, gasping as he erupted inside of her. She paused, startled, but then licked him vigorously clean, and swallowed. 

“Hmm. A bit like licking a coin, only a bit salty. A pleasant flavor,” she mused, putting her finger in her mouth. 

“That…that was fucking awesome,” Kazuma moaned, and collapsed onto the bed, breathing hard. “Better…better than I’d ever imagined…”

“Oh, it is…it is over now, is it not?” Darkness said, sounding disappointed. 

“Nope! Normally, it would be, but in my dream…just give it a kiss and he’ll perk right back up!” 

Darkness did so, and Kazuma sprang erect, feeling a sense of vigor wash over him. He growled, then pushed Darkness down. “Your turn! You’ve earned my cock now, whore!” 

“Yes, yes master!” Darkness cried eagerly, and helped him into her. 

He took his time, not bucking away recklessly like he had their first two times, but finding a slower pace that Darkness matched. They locked lips for most of it, running their hands up and down one another. He even lasted longer than before, longer than Joe had, he was certain, before he once more spent himself. 

“I love you,” Kazuma whispered, and kissed Darkness. “Marry me.”

“Yes,” Darkness whispered, and kissed him.

Wait, shit, what had he just said?! Ah, forget it. She was going to drag him to the altar anyway. Besides, he’d be an idiot if he let her go. The horniest girl in the world sounded like an absolute bonus. 

“Once more,” Darkness begged, and stroked Kazuma with her hand. He sprang to attention once more, and this time, she mounted him. He clutched at her hips, thrusting up gently as she used her knees to move herself up and down, hands gripping him to keep herself on target. This time was shorter, and Kazuma could feel himself growing weary, even in the dream. 

This time, however, Darkness seemed satisfied. She lay beside him, eyes closed, forehead pressed against his. 

“You’re amazing,” he told her. “Sexiest woman alive.”

“And you are the most perverse man. You are…perfect,” she sighed. 

The two of them drifted off to sleep, and the dream slowly subsided…

Groaning, Kazuma’s eyes fluttered open. By the golden light streaming in the window, it was now late after noon. He sat up as Darkness stirred beside him, and glanced around. There on the floor lay Lolisa, back in her therapist outfit, though she had her skirt flipped up and her blouse was pushed so far up he could see her belly button. Was her stomach a little distended now? Her hand was in her green panties, and a bit of drool was leaking down her chin, her eyes glazed over slightly. She smacked her lips, then let out a sonorous belch. 

“That was…mmmm. That was the best I’ve eaten in…ever,” Lolisa sighed, sitting up with the same dreamy expression on her face. Darkness looked down at her curiously, and Lolisa grinned back at her. “You know, I said I’m not into girls as much, but I changed my mind. You are…you are the sexiest creature in the universe, Tina. Mmmm, if you weren’t taken…”

Lolisa shook her head and slapped her cheeks. “Waaah! Sorry! That was very unprofessional of me! Oh my gosh, I did not mean to take my clothes off! Ahhh!” Hastily, she stood and straightened her garments. “Ehem. Um, yes, well, that was session one! I hope you enjoyed yourselves, and um…please sign up for another soon? Uh, not too soon. Oof, I’m going to have a serious food coma after this…”

“That was…nice. More than nice. It was wonderful,” Darkness said, standing and taking Lolisa’s hands in hers. “Thank you. That was more of an education than I have ever received, and well…I think perhaps I misjudged you, Lolisa. You seem like a truly kind person.”

“I…” Lolisa sniffled, then started crying and hugged Darkness tightly. “Waaah! T-thank you! I-I try so hard, I just…sniff…I love you guys! I-I mean, um, h-humanity. And you in particular! I just…I’ve always wanted…wanted…” she hiccuped and scrubbed her face with her hands. “Oops, um, unprofessionalism strikes again! Um, anyway, there’s no fee for the first session…or the next, actually. I’ll do you guys up anytime, I mean it.”

“Perhaps, that is- OH HOLY ERIS’ FEATHERY MANTLE! WHAT TIME IS IT?!”

“Uh,” Kazuma glanced at the gilded grandfather clock by the window. “About half past five?” 

“We are to dine with Iris at Alderps manor at seven!” Darkness gasped, spinning about with a look of horror on her face. 

“That’s an hour and a half from now, that’s plenty of time,” Kazuma said with a shrug. “It only takes half an hour to get there.”

“Yes, but, I cannot arrive there looking like THIS!” Darkness said, gesturing to herself. She was still in only her bra and panties, and Kazuma rather approved of the outfit.

“I dunno, it would certainly make a statement,” Kazuma said with a lecherous grin. She glared at him, so he sighed and raised his hands. “Fine, fine. We’ll get changed, I guess. Uh, wait…”

“We do not have time for you to go back to the mansion to dress!” Darkness said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “We’ll have to try to find an outfit, but I doubt you will fit into my father’s clothing…”

“Um, maybe I can help?” Lolisa said. They both turned to her, and she smiled shyly. “I, um, w-well, I…I do have the tailoring skill…and I’m pretty good at making fancy outfits…”

“It will have to do,” Darkness said, grabbing Lolisa and Kazuma by the arm and dragging them after her. “Quickly!” 

There were a few sets of Darkness’ father’s old clothing. Thankfully, Ignis didn’t seem to have gone in for the massive lace collars, just the absolutely massive shoulder pads and slightly puffy short things over hose. 

“There, just adjust the jacket to fit over your doublet, the hose should be fine, and I’ll see if I can resize this shoe,” Lolisa said. She did manage it, and stepped back to admire her work. “Very nice! You look rather dashing, if I may say so.”

“Thank you, Lolisa, you’re a lifesaver,” Darkness said, nodding in satisfaction. “Now, help me get dressed, if you would. I would not ordinarily ask you to perform the service of a lady’s maid, but…”

“Oh no, I’m happy to! Any adjustments I can make for you?” Lolisa said, and went with Darkness to go get changed. 

Kazuma went over to the mirror and frowned at his reflection. “Stupid monkey suit. I look ridiculous. This codpiece is just tacky!” 

He adjusted it, then smirked slightly. “Above average, huh? Well, see if Aqua laughs at ‘the holy sword’ now!” 

Despite himself, he posed in the mirror for a few minutes, then spun about when the ladies returned. To his surprise, Lolisa was dressed up as a maid, in a uniform identical to what Ivy and Holly had worn. 

“A change of plans, Kazuma,” Darkness said, motioning Lolisa forward. The succubus blushed, then curtsied to him. “We will be bringing Lolisa with us.”

“Uh, ok, but why? We going to give Alderp an erotic dream?” he asked, baffled. 

“No, of course not. But, Lolisa swears neither she nor her sisters have been employed by the man, or gone near the mansion,” Darkness explained. 

“It’s true! Like I said, we don’t want anything to do with high nobles! Besides, I get the impression that he knew about us, he’d try and control us,” Lolisa said with a shudder. “It would be bad if the Church caught wind of us, but even worse would be enslavement by someone like Alderp and being forced to prey on mortal men again.”

“Even so, she has agreed to accompany us disguised as my maid. It is normal for an individual of my station to be accompanied by their own servants. Once there, she can see if there is a demonic presence at the manor. Should that be the case, we may have the grounds to confront Alderp. Iris certainly has the authority, and that would be the end of things,” Darkness explained. 

“Right, right, but how do we do that without Iris also chopping Lolisa in half?” Kazuma demanded. 

“We will simply claim that Lolisa has the demonology skill. It would be the height of rudeness for Iris to demand to see her Adventurer’s  card, and she trusts me. A demonologist would be able to detect a demonic presence, and they are not, strictly speaking, illegal, even if they are rather suspect as a rule.”

“Uh, alright, I guess. If Lolisa is cool with it,” Kazuma said, eyeing the succubus. 

“Of course! I’m happy to help out my friends. Plus, Alderp gives me the creeping willies,” Lolisa said, and shuddered for dramatic effect. “Trust me, in this profession, you learn which men are bad news. And Alderp gives me ‘has dead tied up women in the basement’ vibes.”

“Well that’s…disturbing,” Kazuma said, though he didn’t argue with the assessment. 

They ended up taking, of all things, a carriage. Darkness harnessed Buttercup herself, Lolisa and Kazuma having very little knowledge of harness and tack, even if Lolisa did say that the massive warhorse was “cute” and found some flowers to braid into Buttercup’s mane. 

The Dustiness Carriage had the family crest on the door, and was painted yellow with white trim. The inside wasn’t quite as plush as Iris’ Royal Carriage, but it was comfortable enough. Lolisa rode up in the driver’s seat, as apparently Buttercup was well trained enough that she would need very little guidance. 

As they rode, Kazuma studied Darkness. She was wearing a cream colored evening gown with plenty of ruffles and lace, but with a neckline that more than showed off her cleavage. Her hair was done up in an intricate braid, and she had on a silver necklace and some diamond earrings. She looked up at him, smoothing her hair back and smiling shyly. “Sorry, is something on your mind, Kazuma?”

“Just you, you’re pretty hot. Dress looks good on you. Jewelry’s nice too, not tacky, just classy.”

“Thank you. You are rather dashing as well. That older style suits you,” Darkness said, and a warm feeling suffused Kazuma. When was the last time a woman had complimented him like that, well…ever? 

He reached over and took Darkness’ hand as they rode together. It was…comfortable. He hadn’t really imagined this was what it would feel like to date her. The raunchy sex, yes, but not feeling relaxed and…loved? Was that what this was? Going to a hoity toity dinner party with the freaking princess of the entire kingdom and it just felt…normal. 

They arrived at Alderp’s manor only a few minutes before the dinner was scheduled to begin. Lolisa hopped off the carriage and opened the door for them, and Kazuma stepped down to offer Darkness a hand. She smiled at him and daintily stepped down, which was somewhat different from her usual habit of stomping everywhere and barreling into the thick of things. 

Alderp’s servants took the carriage to the stables, while Lolisa followed them into the manor. Alexei was waiting for them, and bowed to Darkness, taking her offered hand and brushing his lips over it, despite Kazuma’s death glare. 

“Welcome, Lady Dustiness, and you as well, Master Sato. Please, be welcome. Dinner will begin shortly. For now, enjoy light refreshments in the parlor.”

“Thank you, Sir Alexei,” Darkness said, withdrawing her hand and holding out her arm for Kazuma to take it, which he did, smirking at Alexei. “Come, Kazuma.”

Arm in arm, Kazuma and Darkness headed into the opulent parlor, where Alderp was sitting in an overstuffed chair, sipping wine while a few nervous servants stood around. 

“Ah, you’re here,” Alderp said, eyes narrowing at Kazuma and Darkness. “Well. That’s good. I was half worried you’d decline.”

“I wished to dine with my royal cousin before her departure, and I was pleased to accept your offer of hospitality,” Darkness said, nodding to Alderp and accepting a glass of wine from a maid who bustled over. 

“Hmph,” Alderp said, which was apparently the end of the small talk.

For lack of anything better to do, Kazuma looked about the parlor. It was full of rich artwork, plush carpets, and heavily gilded. Honestly, it looked rather tacky. While Darkness’ own manor was somewhat understated in its displays of wealth, relying on expensive but sturdy hardwood furniture and a few family portraits, Alderp’s was crammed full of stuff. Honestly, Kazuma could see why Chris wanted to hit the place: stealing some of this junk might improve the decor. 

“Guess this is the difference between new money and old money,” Kazuma muttered to Darkness, who smiled behind her glass. 

“Be pleasant, Kazuma. We are guests. And do not forget, the Baron is powerful. He has a great deal of wealth and many friends.”

Some of those friends joined them shortly, Viscountess Kocher and Sir Steit. They gave Kazuma and Darkness frosty stares, then went over and started kissing Alderp’s ass. It was a good thing he was so damn fat, because that meant there was enough for both of them.

“Is it always like this at noble parties?” Kazuma muttered to Darkness as he sipped at his admittedly rather tasty wine. He didn’t have a refined palette or anything, but it tasted a lot like the high quality bubbly Aqua was always spending all her money on. 

“In what regard? This is a somewhat small party, with only a dozen or so guests on the invite list, in the capital there are often banquets with guest lists that run into the hundreds,” Darkness told him. 

“I mean the obvious schmoozers and ass kissers with people sneering at one another over glasses of wine,” Kazuma said, as a few other nobles entered, including that blowhard Count von Strumkranz from Megumin’s Showing Off competition. 

“Ah. Yes. Unfortunately, you will receive a great deal of those looks, and potential ass kissers,” Darkness said with a sigh. “Especially once we announce our engagement. You are now associated with one of the oldest and most powerful houses in the Kingdom, even if we are a tad destitute at the moment.” 

“Even with us winning the Archery Contest?! The purse was huge, and we had our debts forgiven!” 

“Part of them. Alderp owns the quarries that are rebuilding the walls, as well as having an iron fist over the freemasons. He’s making a killing both in Axel and elsewhere with several other royal contracts, and my house still owes over one hundred billion eris to him.”

“A hundred…billion?” Kazuma said, feeling a bit dizzy. He’d never be able to complete enough quests in ten lifetimes to earn that much money. 

“It is rather rare for a common merchant to be able to gain enough prestige and monies to purchase a writ of nobility in Belzerg. Far more common is the path of the sword, where martial skill earns you a place in a noble house, or even a barony. Such is the path you took, and it is a far nobler one,” Darkness told him.

“Me!? I thought I just hopped into bed with you!” Kazuma hissed, giving a fake grin to the head of the local merchant’s guild. What was his name? Beano or something. 

“Kazuma, you have quite publicly put paid to the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, Beldia, and there was the matter of Vanir and Wiz. Not small feats,” Darkness pointed out. “You are amongst the most successful adventurers in the realm, and have gained no small amount of notoriety. Including…”

“Master Kazuma, Cousin Tina!” Iris entered the room, and instantly made her way over to Darkness and Kazuma, a wide grin on her face. She was dressed in a far more ornate gown than she had worn previously, this one a blue and silver ensemble that made her look like even more of a loli saber-face than usual. She still had on that grape hair ornament though, and wasn’t wearing her sword. “How are you this evening?”

“Well, Iris,” Darkness said, giving Iris a hug. 

Kazuma held out a fist to the princess, and Iris examined it curiously. “Sup Dawg.”

“It is a greeting from his homeland,” Darkness told Iris. “You bump your own fist into his.” 

Kazuma nodded seriously. “One between noble warriors. The proper response is ‘ayyy lmao.’” 

“Ayyyy la-mawoh!” Iris said eagerly, bumping Kazuma’s own fist as Claire made a strangled sound behind her, and Rain tittered.

“I’ll tell you about the legendary bowfa later,” Kazuma promised Iris, which made her eyes sparkle. 

“You most certainly will NOT,” Darkness huffed, elbowing Kazuma. 

“What is a bowfa?” Claire asked suspiciously, which made Kazuma grin and Darkness smack her palm into her face. Kazuma had got her with that one long ago. 

“Bowfa DEEZ NUTZ!” Kazuma declared, clutching his groin. 

Rain let out a startled gasp of horror, while Claire reached for her sword. Iris, in turn, started laughing hysterically, drawing the eyes of all the guests. 

“Kazuma,” Darkness hissed, smacking his arm. “Not in front of others at a party!” 

“Iris, avert your eyes. I am going to murder him,” Claire growled, trying to get her sword clear of the scabbard, despite Iris grabbing her arm as she continued to giggle.

“Don’t you dare, Miss Claire. These parties are normally dreadfully tedious. I might actually have fun at one for once,” Iris told her ‘bodyguard’. 

“See? She’s a poet, and didn’t know it,” Kazuma quipped, earning him another groan from Darkness and more giggles from Iris. 

“Master Kazuma, I will beg you not to corrupt her Highness, at least not in public,” Rain sighed. 

“Oh do not worry, Cousin Tina, he shall not corrupt me,” Iris said, her eyes still dancing with merriment. “Did you hear what sort of winds blow from the soldier’s mess haul, Master Kazuma?” 

“Iris!” Claire squeaked, but Kazuma asked,

“No, what kind?” 

“Winds of beans and onions!” Iris said, then grinned expectantly at Kazuma.

It took him a moment, then the coin dropped, and Kazuma snorted with laughter. “Must have been chili that night!”

“Hee-hee! At least the wind was warm!” Iris tittered. 

Claire glared at Iris, only for her to stick her chin up at her. “Just because you don’t like any jokes doesn’t mean I haven’t heard any good ones.”

“Crass humor does not become the royal personnage,” Claire sighed. “We were supposed to go make your greetings to Baron Alderp, not stand in the corner making fart jokes.” 

“Better to do it in the corner than in the middle of the room, at least then she can blame me,” Kazuma said with a dopey grin, which only made Claire snort fire. Not as metaphorically as Kazuma would have liked. Was she secretly a dragon or something? 

“Oh, very well, I suppose it is my duty,” Iris said with a heavy sigh. Then she turned and headed over to where Alderp was surrounded by the rest of the guests. Darkness nudged Kazuma, and they followed after Iris. 

Seeing the Princess, Alderp stood up and bowed to her. “Highness, you grace us with your presence this evening. I hope you enjoy this small party at my humble abode.”

Aldper gestured grandly to the overdecorated room, which Iris eyed. “Yes, it is obvious to all this room belongs to the wealthiest man in the Kingdom, Baron. None could doubt your taste after a visit here.”

Alderp swelled with pride at that, until someone snickered. Not, for once, Kazuma, who just leered at the man. Alderp seemed to realize that Iris had just called him a tasteless blowhard, and his color reddened. But Iris had already turned away to Alexei, who was waiting by his father’s side. 

“You spoke of the gardens, Sir Alexei. I would take the night air before dinner,” Iris said, leaving the furious Alderp behind as Alexei showed her outside, where the gardens had been lit with glowing mage lights. 

“Well, we shall see how her Highness feels after I give her my gift,” Alderp blustered to his guests. He pulled out a velvet box, which had a tacky looking necklace of segmented gold on it. It didn’t even look all that special to Kazuma, though the guests made impressed noises. Alderp grinned and put it away, looking pleased with himself. 

On a whim, Kazuma stepped back, then made a certain motion with his fingers. “Steal.” 

A moment later, he felt the weight of the necklace in his hand, and he quickly hid it away. Alderp didn’t even notice, still boasting about how much he’d spent on the tournament. 

Darkness, however, had noticed, and frowned at Kazuma. “You did not steal a lady's underthings, did you?”

“No, I’ll show you later,” he promised. “It’ll be hilarious, just you watch.”

After half an hour, dinner was announced, and Kazuma and Darkness headed into the lavish dining room with the rest of the guests. Iris was seated at the place of honor of course, along with the winner of the melee, some muscle headed knight who had a chin like a lantern and the intelligence of a rock from his monosyllabic comments. 

The food was incredibly rich, and while certainly delicious, was a bit much for Kazuma, who was stuffed to bursting after only the third of seven courses. He just nibbled at the rest. The massive chocolate cake brought out for dessert only disgusted him, and he’d never been much of a sweets guy anyway. 

Towards the end of the meal, Alderp stood up, tapping his glass and drawing the guests' attention. “In honor of her Royal Highness’ visit, I have a special gift for her, as a token of my thanks. This item is said to be a Divine Treasure, and one I purchased at great expense!” 

Alderp fished around in his jacket, only for his face to go pale as he hefted it. He could probably tell it was empty, and he hastily opened up the box, looking astounded. Kazuma hid a grin in his wine glass, watching the blubbery bastard flounder. 

“Here it is, Father, I have it,” Alexei said, hastily stepping up. He smoothly produced what looked like a rather plain dagger, with a worn hilt, though the scabbard was jewel encrusted. “This dagger was said to have been wielded by the Divine Thief Fortuna, companion of the Holy Eris herself when she was but a mortal girl.”

Alderp looked deeply relieved, and nodded to Alexei. “Yes, thank you, my son. Here, your Highness.”

Eagerly, Iris took the dagger, tossing aside the scabbard and holding it up. “This is a mighty gift! This blade has been lost for centuries! How ever did you come by it?!”

“I was sent to retrieve it by my father, with a few companions. We braved a terrible dungeon, and at the bottom, located the dagger,” Alexei explained. 

“This is a great treasure of the Church! I shall deliver it to the Patriarch in the capital myself! Truly, you have done the kingdom a great service, Lord Alderp,” Iris said, reverently handing the dagger to Rain, who produced a silk handkerchief to wrap it in. “You have earned yourself a royal favor with this gift, Baron. One the Crown will not soon forget.”

“Yes, well, I had hoped to deliver it to his majesty myself at our next meeting, but considering your victory yesterday , it seemed appropriate,” Alderp said, mopping his brow with a napkin.

Kazuma frowned. Damn. The idiot had recovered from that quickly enough.

After that, the party broke up, with people talking excitedly and complimenting Alderp on his choice of gift. “That necklace looked terribly tacky, Baron. Good job making the switch,” 

Von Strumkranz said. 

“Yes, well, it seemed only wise,” Alderp blustered. 

They said their farewells to Iris, who hugged Darkness once more. “Cousin, you simply must come visit us in the capital. Bring Megumin and Master Kazuma as well! You would truly make my duties less onerous with even a brief visit.”

“I shall, after I go to see my father,” Darkness promised. They headed back to the carriage, where Lolisa was waiting. 

“Well?” Kazuma asked her.

“Holy shit, Kazuma, are you trying to kill me?” Lolisa asked, a grin plastered on her face. “Let’s get the fuck out of here before we all die.”

“I…what?” Kazuma said. He looked around to Iris, but she was already leaving. Darkness was frowning, looking more than a little concerned. 

“Lolisa?”

“Please, let’s go, now!” Lolisa begged, a more than slightly crazed look in her eyes.  Kazuma nodded, and he and Darkness got into the carriage. 

“What was that about?” Kazuma asked as the carriage rumbled away. “She was trembling. What has her spooked?”

“Bishop Niblib was in attendance, perhaps she worried she would be exorcised?” Darkness said, but she didn’t sound like she believed it. 

“Yeah, weird,” Kazuma said, getting out the gold-plated necklace. He examined it, his dark vision picking out some words. “Woah, hold on. This is in Japanese!”

“Oh, is that what you stole? The necklace Alderp was going to give Iris? A pity he had a backup gift that was more impressive,” Darkness said, leaning over. She touched the necklace, and Kazuma offered it to her.

“Here, put it on. It’ll look better on you than me,” Kazuma said, and Darkness complied.

She held the necklace up, squinting at it in the dim light. “You mentioned it had an inscription in your native tongue. What does it say?”

“It’s in Japanese, but it’s Shakespeare, actually,” Kazuma said. “I know, I had to study that stupid play in high school before I dropped out.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s from the play Measure for Measure. It says ‘What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours, and so, now I am you.’ Weird, huh?”

“Odd, perhaps it was a memento from-” Darkness cut off, as the necklace suddenly began glowing. 

“Shit, shit, shit! Throw it out the window, throw it out the window!” Kazuma said frantically. 

Darkness reached back to undo the necklace, but then there was a bright flash, and everything went black to Kazuma. 

Back at the manor, the flash did not go unnoticed. Alderp saw it, and gritted his teeth, making a fist. So. That brat had ruined his plans. Again. Well. He would have the last laugh. Time to make a special call. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 9

Animula Choragi 9: Se vuol ballare

The Théâtre de l’Ondine was a recent construction by Parisian standards. Built in the 1960s, it was constructed in a Neoclassic style that evoked a much older building. It wasn’t a large theater, seating a maximum of 338 people, and typically hosted small-scale productions put on by their own theater troupe. 

However, in recent times, that company had been rocked by several difficulties, mostly financial. When another theater had offered a better contract, the players had abandoned the Théâtre de l’Ondine, leaving them high and dry. 

Marcel Vautrin was the owner of the Théâtre de l’Ondine and looked about as broke and world-weary as he was. He was short, only 167 centimeters with his shoes on, and balding with more than a bit of a paunch. His somewhat rumpled clothing and hangdog expression fit the worn upholstery and carpets of the theater. 

“Well, Émile. Ready for one last hurrah?” Marcel asked with a weary sigh as he opened the door to the theater, taking a long drag on his cigarette as he did so. 

“Ah, it will be different this time, Mr. Vautrin. This play, it is popular! With new songs! And in this environment, well, who cannot connect with the theme of révolution!” Émile Caron said with his usual passion. 

Émile was young, barely 30, with a thin mustache and sparkling dark eyes. He was talented, but inexperienced. He had put on only two plays so far, Le Gendre de Monsieur Poirier, and an original production,  Les Ombres du Pouvoir. The first was a somewhat obscure play from 1854 that had flopped horribly, and the other a more modern tragedy set in a Paris besieged by obvious stand-ins for the Slaughterhouse Nine. To say it had flopped would be an understatement, and the two disasters in a row were why the desperate gamble of an open casting call was being attempted. 

“We should never have tried your play. It was shit,” Marcel grumbled. 

Émile winced but didn’t argue. The truth was that Marcel had been as eager to try the new play as Émile. Despite his now crotchety exterior, Marcel was an aficionado of theater, and longed to see France return to the cultural glory and relevance it had once held. Paris had once been the tourist destination of the world, but Tokyo and now Baghdad were taking that spot handily. Not only were both destinations known to be immune to Endbringers and S-Class threats, but Tokyo had giant robots, anime, and Thunder Thighs the God Empress, while Baghdad had the House of Wisdom, forest spirits, and, oh yes, real-life dinosaurs. 

Not to mention Germany was right next door, and there was always a chance if you visited, you might just get to see the Tone Deaf Bards. 

“Les Misérables is an old standby. It will make money, then we can use that to hire new actors and experiment again. Besides, we might just find a diamond in the rough or two, eh?” Émile encouraged, keeping his strides short to match Marcel’s. 

“Only if you can think of something actually good this time,” Marcel grumbled, but he didn’t say no. He sighed. “Well, at least it’s a proper French play. And yes, with the world overrun by tyrants…it’s not a bad choice, I suppose. But dammit, we need to find some real talent. Not the usual trash that comes to this sort of thing. Pah! We might as well be a community theater!” 

“There are a few coming that I think have potential, some of them have experience,” Émile said consolingly. “We have a bit before they’re supposed to start coming. We’ll be looking for our Jean Valjean and Javert first, then the Cosettes and Fantine. We’ll probably find our Eponine and the rest along the way.”

“Well, let’s get on with it,” Marcel said, ensconcing himself in the front row along with a pen and notebook. 

Despite Marcel’s sour attitude, when the hopeful actors began to arrive, he took studious notes, listening attentively when they recited lines or sang, and talking quietly with Émile on his own opinions. 

Things proceeded apace, right up until it was time for the female leads to audition. The first ruined Marcel’s improving mood with an enthusiastic young actress who tried to sing I Dreamed a Dream, but quite simply did not have the range or experience. 

“Yes, yes, thank you, that’s quite enough,” Marcel interrupted, shooing her off the stage before she was halfway done. The young lady burst into tears and hurried off stage, and Marcel got some angry looks from the other women waiting. “I need actresses, not amateurs! You, next! What’s your name!” 

“Marcel,” Émile hissed. “We need to not scare them off!” 

“I am perfectly polite when I can hear singing, not noise! NEXT!” Marcel barked. 

A nervous young woman stepped up to the microphone, swallowing and trying to smile. 

“Name?” Marcel demanded, folding his arms over his chest. 

“F-Furina de Fontaine.” 

“Fine, begin!” 

Marcel rolled his eyes when the woman squeaked and began to sing. He very nearly cut her off as well, but Émile put a hand on his arm, and Marcel quieted. 

But then, the woman continued. Slowly, Marcel unfolded his arms. When the first high note was hit, both Marcel and Émile stood up. This woman wasn’t singing a song. She was singing to Marcel’s very heart. He could feel his frustration and betrayal, of his crushed dreams and fears, of how his life had gone so wrong. By the time she finished, Émile was weeping openly, holding on to Marcel’s shoulder, while Marcel himself had unashamed tears leaking down his face. 

When she finished, Marcel dug out a handkerchief and blew his nose into it, then wiped his face. “Thank you, Fantine. Next.”

“Um, it’s Fontaine. Furina de Fontaine,” the woman said, back to sounding nervous. 

“Hmm? Oh yes. You’re Fantine,” Marcel said, pointing to her. He nodded to the rest of the women. “You can still audition, but she’s my Fantine.” 

Normally, such an announcement would have provoked an outright revolt at an open casting call. But there were no dry eyes amongst the waiting women, and while a few looked upset at the pronouncement, most just nodded. 

Not, however, the woman who was still on stage. “Sir, I must protest! That is not Just.”

Marcel blinked, turning his gaze back to Ms. de Fontaine. “I beg your pardon?”

Gesturing to the waiting women, Furina made her case: “These women have just as much a right to your consideration as I, Mr. Vautrin. Please, listen with an open heart and mind to each of them, and choose the best actress for the role. To simply give it to me before you have heard everyone would be a gross Injustice.”

For a moment, there was a heavy silence, the room holding its breath. Then, Marcel laughed. “I do not think I have ever had an actress protest when she is given a leading role! But very well. I will do this Justice, as you request. Though I do not think many will match your performance, Ms. de Fontaine.” 

As the rest of the hopeful actresses auditioned, they noted a change had come over the owner and director both. Marcel was smiling, laughing, a twinkle in his eyes. Even his clothes seemed in better repair somehow. Émile was still earnest, however it no longer smacked of desperation, but confidence. 

Something new had come to Théâtre de l’Ondine. A feeling that had not been felt in France since the fall of the Fifth Republic. 

Hope. And Justice. 

In the back of the theater, high up in what should have been an empty box, the divine performance of Furina de Fontaine had not gone unnoticed. Charlotte Lustria, Intrepid Reporter, had not only gotten video of the entire song, but she’d also taken down word for word the exchange between Marcel and Furina. Even now, she was furiously scribbling away notes. 

My Vision did not react to Furina’s song, but when I used Elemental Sight, I did detect an abundance of Elemental Energy, along with something else. Furina is always highlighted in my Elemental Sight, but when she sang, I saw a second figure standing with her, hands on her shoulders. The figure looked to be of a similar height and build to Furina, though I could only see her outline. I assume it was a woman, but I am uncertain. 

By the reaction of the audience, I know that the Hydro Archon had to be present. This reporter has carefully studied reactions to when Archons unveil themselves, from civilian reactions to when the Narukami Oshogo slew the Leviathan, to when Barbados first played in Bremen, to when the Tsaritsa wove New Moscow. 

There can be no doubt in my mind: Furina de Fontaine IS the Hydro Archon. She may deny it, but the Truth will prevail! I will continue my investigation until such a time as I can offer absolute and definitive proof that she is indeed the-

Charlotte’s furious scribbling was interrupted by her phone buzzing. She picked it up, then winced. She had three missed calls from Yen, and two from school. The latest was a text message. 

Where are you!? The school called me because you were absent! This is the third time, Charlotte! Please tell me you did not ditch school to audition for that damn play! 

dont b dumb 😠 im doing something important k this is a breaking story and i had 2 b there 👍

You’re at the theater, aren’t you? I’m calling Furina right now, and Barbara. 

ugh i dont no y u care i got 🅰️s  in my classes and a 3.9 my grades r gud just 🧊 kk?????

I will not chill. You are 14, Charlotte, and I am your guardian! And I will not have you playing hooky so you can act like paparazzi. 

🙄 srsly. 🧊😂🧊🦌

I am on my way. Don't try to run.

watch this then u tell me this isnt important k? 💯 🎥👌

There. Charlotte sent the video of Furina’s audition. That ought to shut her sister up. If she wouldn’t gush over her girlfriend knocking them flat, then Charlotte didn’t know her sister. 

This does not excuse anything. We are going to talk, young lady. With your dean. 

🧊🙄🙄🙄🧊🦌🍑💦⛲💋🍑🏳️‍🌈👉👌🧊💯

Yennifer didn’t respond, which Charlotte chose to interpret as her winning the argument with her brilliant use of emojis. For the next half an hour, she recorded Julie from the Chinese dinner, whose rendition of  On My Own similarly caused that spectral woman to appear, as did Barbara singing One More Day. She was furiously sketching just such an occurrence when a hand firmly grasped her by the ear and yanked her upright. 

Charlotte didn’t react with her knee-jerk response of tapping into her Vision and freezing her assailant solid, mostly because they’d ripped her Vision right out from her necklace, and, well, she had a pretty good idea of who was doing it. 

“Ow-ow-ow! Not so rough, Yen!” Charlotte whined as she was hauled to her feet. 

“This,” her sister hissed, holding her phone so close to Charlotte’s face her eyes crossed. “Is grossly inappropriate, Charlotte Maya Lustria! I may not be fully versed in emoji speak, but I think I can surmise what you are suggesting! And to your own SISTER?! What is wrong with you?!” 

“Sorry, sorry, but LOOK!” Charlotte pleaded, glancing down at the theater. The owner and director were frowning up at them, and the person on stage auditioning had faltered. 

“Apologies, everyone,” Yennifer called. “Just a stowaway. I’ll be dealing with her directly.” 

“Yennifer? Charlotte?” Furina asked, standing up from where she’d been sitting with some of the author hopefuls. 

Charlotte tried to wave, but Yennifer dragged her off into the hall. 

“Ow, look, stop, LOOK!” Charlotte begged, waving her sketches. 

Yennifer snatched the papers with her offhand. Then froze. Charlotte managed to extricate herself, and stood there, massaging her abused earlobe and glaring angrily at her sister. Didn’t she UNDERSTAND!? 

“Charlotte…what is…what is this?” Yennifer managed, looking up, her eyes wide. 

“I don’t know. And that’s the point! I saw them with my elemental vision!” Charlotte snatched back her Vision from Yennifer, who let it go, and opened her spiritual eyes again. “When I look, I can see-Sainte Mère de Dieu!” 

There, standing right by her sister, was that same spectral woman! The ghost put her finger to her lips, leaned forward, and tapped Yennifer on the shoulder. Spinning, Yennifer looked about, just in time to see what looked like to Charlotte’s eyes a brightly glowing woman of near pure Hydro Energy dash down the hall. It was so bright, tears came to Charlotte’s eyes, but she still saw the ghostly woman step into Furina and vanish. 

“Yennifer, Charlotte, what are you doing here?” Furina gasped, panting and slightly out of breath. Why did she pretend so hard? Shouldn’t an Archon have more stamina? Even a regular person would. Charlotte could run a 5k and barely break a sweat. 

Then again, she couldn’t have before she’d gotten her Vision, so maybe her perspective on that was slightly skewed. 

“I was recording your audition, and Yennifer came to check on me,” Charlotte said, straightening her clothes and glasses as she turned off her elemental sight. Keeping it on around Furina too long gave her a headache. Well, not all the time. Sometimes, for reasons that Charlotte had not been able to suss out yet, Furina looked like a completely normal person with nary a drop of elemental energy in her. 

Alright, most of the time. It was a rare occasion when she’d glowed this brightly. 

But Charlotte was going to uncover the Truth. 

“I…no. Well, Charlotte was recording you, but I just found out she cut school to do it,” Yennifer said, turning her steely-eyed Lawyer Glare on Charlotte. 

Charlotte ignored it. Steely-eyed glares were a part and parcel of the trade when you were an Intrepid Reporter. They also usually meant you were on the trail of something exceptionally juicy that desperately needed to be brought to light. The Truth could not be hidden from Charlotte. 

“What? Charlotte, why would you do that? Was it to cheer Barbara and I on?” Furina asked, baffled. 

Barbara was aware that Charlotte was there, and had in fact, let her in through a side entrance so she could ensconce herself. As Charlotte’s Trusty Sidekick, Barbara was very useful for that sort of thing. As well as being a pretty good video editor. Charlotte could edit, but she didn’t have the artistic flare that Barbs did. 

“I had to see the start of your dazzling careers! I got the whole thing on camera!” Charlotte called. 

“Furina, I’m sorry, but I need a few private moments with my sister. Make my apologies to the staff, and I’ll have Charlotte out of your hair shortly,” Yennifer said. 

Uh oh. It didn’t take the investigational skills of an Intrepid Reporter to realize that Charlotte might just be in far deeper trouble than she’d thought. Maybe that text about Yen and Furina had been a bridge too far. Charlotte had always had trouble knowing when she was pushing the envelope beyond the pale, and, well, getting her Vision hadn’t helped any in that regard. 

“Oh, yes, um, sorry,” Furina said. She bit her lip, then added, “But…I’m glad you came, Yen. It…it means a lot to me.”

That immediately erased all doubts from Charlotte’s mind that what she had been doing hadn’t been 100% the right idea, and that she was still pursuing The Truth. She gave Furina a big grin and two thumbs up, especially since Yennifer blushed, though she only nodded as Furina retreated. 

Then Yennifer grabbed Charlotte’s arm and hauled her towards the emergency exit, though her sister paused before dragging Charlotte outside. “Alright. What are these images?”

“While I was recording with my camera, I turned on my elemental sight to watch the auditions. For three of them, this spectral figure appeared: Furina, Julie, and Barbara. I checked all the others, but nothing. This ghost would show up, put her hands on the shoulders of whomever was auditioning, then kiss them on the cheek and vanish when they were done! Well, except for Furina. She stayed by Furina’s side until she went back to take a seat, but then she walked into Furina!” 

“In fact!” Charlotte said, pointing directly at Yennifer. “That same woman, just now, showed up and touched YOU! It was HER you felt right before Furina appeared! So, I ask you, Miss Lustria, what does THAT tell you?! I posit that there is no other conclusion than that Furina de Fontaine is, in fact, the-”

“No. She’s not.” 

The deadpan delivery brought Charlotte up short, and right as she was reaching her Dramatic Reveal too! The nerve! Her sister really had no sense of timing at all. 

Or, well, maybe she did, and that hers was way too good and undermining Charlotte’s brilliant arguments. Damn lawyers. 

“Look, Lotte,” Yennfer sighed, running her hand through her hair and grimacing. “I thought she was the Hydro Archon when she arrived. But I’ve spent time around Lord Barbados. I’ve seen actual miracles happen. I was there when the Storm blew the Fatui right out of Riga. Furina has…odd powers. But she’s not an Archon. Um Gottes Willen! I had to walk the poor girl through her first period! Whatever she was before she came to Earth Bet, and I think she was probably a lot more than she can admit to herself, she’s just an ordinary girl now, who is lost, alone, and afraid. And she needs our help and support. Not for us to ‘expose her truth’ or whatever flea in your ear you have.”

“She’s lying to us, Yen! Maybe herself too, but the Truth must be known!”

“The Truth? Open your eyes, Charlotte. Furina doesn’t need the truth. She needs Justice. And right now? Right now, that means showing her mercy. You will-”

Yennifer blinked, cocking her head to one side. As if hearing an unseen voice. “You will…”

Charlotte’s eyes went wide. She recognized that expression, that tension in the air. “Say it out loud!” she demanded, pulling out her extra notebook. “Say what you hear out loud!” 

“I…” Yennifer swallowed, then began in a sing-song voice,

The court is now in session 

Let the defendant rise! 

You will stand for Justice 

No matter your foe's size. 

Though you wear a mask of Duty, 

Your spirit shall not fade

Shout forth your loud objection! 

Daughter of Law’s shade

And then, a glowing blue gem, not the icy blue of Charlotte’s Vision, but the deep blue of the sea, fell into Yennifer’s outstretched hand. Both sisters stared at the Vision, Yennifer in clear shock, Charlotte in giddy delight. 

“You see!? It was her! You heard her voice, didn’t you!” Charlotte cried, grabbing Yennifer by the shoulders. 

“No,” Yennifer said slowly, gripping her Vision tightly. She looked up and met Charlotte’s eyes. “No, Charlotte. I did not hear Furina. I heard someone else. But she’s here. Come on. We’ve got to tell the world. Looks like you got your big break after all.”

Charlotte could barely believe it. That was impossible! Furina had to be the Hydro Archon! She was the one who gave out Visions! Charlotte herself had heard the Tsarita’s own voice in her head, terrifying as that was, when she’d gotten her own Vision a few short months ago. 

Later reports would show that while everyone who received a Vision did hear a voice in their heads, none of them reported hearing Furina de Fontaine’s voice, even as famous as she would become. At least, not initially. 

It would be some time before Charlotte was vindicated, but then again, for all her reporting skills, she hadn’t thought of one thing. 

No one outplayed Focalors at the game of intrigue. Not even Heaven itself. 

Fortuna jerked upright in bed, then stumbled around in the darkness, not even bothering to dress herself as she wrapped a blanket about her shoulders and fumbled for the door. She was still trying to find the door when it opened. 

“Tyche? Ma’am, what’s wrong?” a voice said in the blackness. 

The world about Fortuna was always dark now. It had been a week since she’d blinded herself by destroying her Path, and now she was on house arrest at Mount Cheyenne. Well, no one was calling it that, they said she was under ‘observation,’ but in the end it amounted to the same thing. 

“She’s here! Wake Doctor Mother, wake everyone! She’s here!” Fortuna said urgently. 

Strong hands gripped her arm, steadying her, and then tried to force her back to bed. “Relax, ma’am. Who’s here?”

“The Hydro Archon! Call the control center! I saw Visions descending from heaven! New stars have appeared in the sky! You have to tell everyone, she’s here! My stars are crying out, they will soon awaken, as soon as my mind matches hers!” 

 “What? Hendrix, call control, ask them if what she’s saying is true.”

“Just because I destroyed the False Path and am blind doesn’t mean I can’t see!” Fortuna fumed. They’d never treated her like this before! She almost asked the Path how to get out of this situation, how to manipulate these soldiers, or disable them, so she could do what she wanted. But her Path was gone. She’d killed it herself. 

They made the call, and Fortuna let them set her back on the edge of her bed. But a few minutes later, they got confirmation. 

“Director Tabib wants Asset Tyche brought to the main conference chamber. She’s right: half a dozen new constellations in the last hour, all of a new element. The Hydro Archon is here.”

They put Fortuna in a wheelchair to her annoyance. She wasn’t crippled, she could walk. She just couldn’t see where she was going. If they would just get her a cane, or maybe one of those seeing-eye dogs…

Well, it was probably faster to be wheeled, and they arrived at the conference chamber soon enough. Fortuna hopped out of her wheelchair and scrambled the last few feet, only to bump into the table and wince at it. Life had been so much easier when a little god had whispered in her ear about where everything was.

Easy because it was a lie. Easy because it was the way to death. But she’d escaped that, now. 

Or so she prayed. 

“Contessa, there you are,” Doctor Mother’s voice said. “I-”

“Fortuna! I’m not Contessa. Not anymore,” she insisted. “Who else is here?” 

“I’m here,” Wyatt said with a yawn. “So’s Honey, Hannah, and the President will be-”

There was a gust of wind, and then,“Right here,” Rebecca said, then a strong hand gently guided Fortuna to a chair and helped her sit down. “Good to see you up and about, Contessa.”

“Fortuna! It’s Fortuna!” 

“Right, sorry.” There was the soft scrape of a chair, and then Rebecca sighed. “David refuses to leave the front lines. There’s heavy fighting still, so I’m loath to pull him away regardless. Whatever the Simurgh told him, it did a number on his psyche. You’re sure you don’t remember, Fortuna?” 

Biting her lip, Fortuna shook her head. She did remember, of course. But that was not a secret she could share. If she did, it would utterly destroy David. He had but one chance. And Fortuna had to give it to him, no matter the risks. 

But was that vision a true one, or one of the False Path’s delusions? 

She didn’t know. 

Of course, Fortuna had told her mother and the others the truth: that Eden’s shards, subtly, had been directing them down a course that would result in the Cycle being completed. They had thought Eden ‘dead’, but it seemed she had not truly died, only been made insensate or so stupid that only her basic instincts were still running. Maybe it had been a good thing that the Tsaritsa had taken her corpse from Cauldron. Though that was an opinion Fortuna didn’t even think too loudly, lest the others hear it. 

“We’ve got multiple confirmed Hydro Visions appearing,” her mother said. “The first was in Illinois, at the University of Chicago Law School. A senior lecturer received one while giving an early morning class. We got it live on camera, only a few moments after Fortuna awoke and said they were appearing. Constellation appears to be a pulpit, we’re calling it Pulpito Loquentis.”

“Next, we have Keiga. Timing isn’t known, but a massive draconic constellation has appeared, and it’s clearly her. Whether or not she manifests a physical Vision is up for debate: her husband doesn’t seem to have one, but he does have a constellation and he can manipulate Electro.”

Doctor Mother went through the other four Visions, ending with one they were calling The Codex of Law, caught on camera by a French schoolgirl and posted to her online video blog on the Dailymotion website. 

“Patterns? Can we build a profile for the Vision Holders and Archon?” Rebecca asked. Or no, Madam President now.

Contessa had already gotten a new magic eight ball and named it Eighty Squared, which she'd infused with elemental energy. She shook it vigorously now, though that was mostly theater. She knew the Hydro Archon from her Dreams.

“She is of Justice, and will be known as the Angel of Justice. Do not mistake her for Judgement: her Aspect and Ideal are more for the rights of the oppressed and mercy for the condemned, for water brings healing. She can be stern and will drown those who perpetuate injustice.”

“She is playful and capricious as the waves, and she has a love of drama. Like Barbados, she is a Muse of the Arts, especially the Theater.” 

“Her Allogens will be Paragons. Those who give everything to an ideal, especially if it is their art. They will wear a mask, and put on a personal one, but unlike those of Cryo they can walk but one path. She will favor artists, actors, lawyers, judges, and those who seek Justice. And you will find her…”

Contessa shook Eighty² again, and listened carefully. Then she nodded. “You will find her upon the grandest stage.”

Then she glared around the table, made somewhat difficult by the fact she couldn't see where anyone was sitting. “There! Still think I’m not a Thinker 12?”

“Fortuna,” Doctor Mother said quietly. “That was very helpful, but…”

“But you destroyed your Path. At the advice of an Endbringer,” President Rebecca said. “That was one of our greatest tools and advantages. And it's gone. Just like that.”

Hot tears of anger and frustration formed on Fortuna’s cheeks, and she did not dash them away. “It was leading us to Tartarus! To the completion of the Cycle!” 

“It gave us near-perfect information,” Wyatt countered. “Now that we knew its aims, we could have compensated.”

“No, no, NO! Haven't you ever heard any stories?! Don't you recall Arachne, who thought herself cleverer than the gods?! Or Sysiphys who thought he could trick Death?! What happened to them!? Cursed and destroyed, humbled and vanquished!” 

“Fortuna, those are just stories. Myths. Told by superstitious people to explain the natural world,” Doctor Mother said gently. “What about your analysis?”

A new voice spoke, and Fortuna felt a chill go down her spine. It was Albedo. “The loss of Path to Victory hampers my ability to analyse. However, I will provide you with my best estimation. The individuals who have received Hydro Visions do indeed seem to be those with a legal or theater background. It seems likely that the Hydro Archon's Domaine is Justice, with a focus on oratory skills and heuristic arguments. A larger sample group is necessary to draw further conclusions.”

“I think we should listen to Albedo. As much respect as I have for what Fortuna has done for us, I think she may be compromised,” Hannah said. “At the very least, we need to monitor her use of psychedelics and other drugs.”

“Those are to help me focus my inner eye! Not for pleasure!” Fortuna argued.

“Fortuna…you've just undergone a deep trauma. I think you need to be put on medical leave,” her mother said firmly.

“I don't need rest! I need to be in the field, finding the Hydro Archon!” Fortuna protested.

“We do need to find her. We could have another Tsaritsa on our hands,” President Rebecca stated. “But I agree, Doctor. Fortuna should be placed on leave. At least until she fully heals.”

“Trauma from the loss of her Shard should be studied. It is likely she will need long-term care for permanent psychological damage,” Honey said.

“No! I'm fine! I see better than I ever did with Eighty!”

“You're upset, Fortuna. You need rest. Go back to bed, we’ll take things from here.” Wyatt's tone was kind, but his words were dead.

Please, God of Waters. I need my Vision back. Won't you acknowledge me? 

I am sorry, dear child. Not yet. Strive for Justice, and what you have seen will come true. But first, you must glimpse the horror to come and determine what your Justice is.

Fortuna blinked her sightless eyes and stretched out her hand. She had heard Her, heard the voice of the Hydro Archon! 

But no Vision appeared for her. 

“Come, Fortuna. You need to recover,” Doctor Mother said, a gentle arm on Fortuna's shoulder. 

“No! I am still your eyes! You need me!” 

Her mother would try to put her back in the wheelchair. Like David had been. Now, at last, Fortuna understood his fear.

“Door me!’ She commanded, then stumbled forward.

But no portal appeared. 

“I'm afraid Doormaker has been informed that your authorization has been revoked. Come, Fortuna. You are not well.”

Slumping in defeat, Fortuna let them seat her and wheel her away. Behind her, she heard them asking the same questions of Albedo they used to ask her.

Couldn’t they see? They were being led astray by a false prophet. But she couldn’t just tell them that. They would not listen. She had to find a way. That meant finding her Justice. But what was her Justice?

The better question would have been Who.

Author's Note: 

Charlotte has read far too much ‘Tintin’ and ‘Spirou and Fantasio’. Unfortunately, her current circumstances are going to do nothing to convince her she isn't the main character in her very own Intrepid Reporter story. Her Vision is just sort of reinforcing that kind of ambition.

Also, I apologize to everyone who was convinced Furina got the first Vision. Focalors is too smart to leave a trail that obvious.

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 8

Animula Choragi 8: Scales and Arpeggios

Emptying out the trash wasn’t Furina’s favorite thing to do, but it was a part of the job. Grimacing at the smell, she opened the dumpster, then hoisted the bag up, preparing to sling it in. She paused, hearing a faint sound. Peering inside, Furina couldn’t see for a moment, but she did hear a gasp. 

Oh, that poor dear! There, in the corner, atop that bag. Yes, do you see it?

Furina blinked, then gasped herself as she saw what Focalors had. A tiny, filth-covered lump, with two big eyes that looked up at Furina. 

Ignoring the rubbish, Furina reached in and hauled out the little kitten that couldn’t have been more than three weeks old, and it mewed softly. “Oh you poor creature!” 

With one hand, Furina flung the trash in, then hurried back inside. The lunch rush had just ended, so it was quiet, but there was a mountain of dishes. Ignoring them, she hurried over, washing the kitten off in the sink. Its fur was so filthy she couldn’t tell what color it was, and the poor thing was shivering. 

“Hey, Furina, whatcha got there?” Ling asked, peering over from the stove. 

“Um, I…I found a baby kitten,” Furina admitted. 

Ling gasped and hurried over, even as Chef Mao frowned at them. “A cat?”

“Oh, you poor baby!” Ling cooed as Furina used warm water to wash the creature, then hastily wrapped it in a clean towel Ling handed her. 

“A cat? What are you two doing?” Mao demanded. “We’ve got work to do!” 

“Yes, I just…she was in the dumpster,” Furina said, cradling the kitten to herself. It sucked at her fingers, and Furina knew that it had to be starving. “I don’t think she’s weaned yet…”

“How do you know it’s a girl?” Ling asked curiously. 

“She’s a calico, they’re always female,” Furina explained, now that the coat was revealed. Only…she’d know the cat was female since she first laid eyes on it. 

You see to the soul, not the body. How interesting. Though you are fully mortal, you also have the traits of a god…I’ve never heard the like before. 

I’m not a god, you are, Furina shot back. She went over to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of milk. “Can we heat this on the stove?”

Ling instantly did so, even as Chef Mao grumbled about, ‘damn fool cats.’ Though he did get out a latex glove. “Fill it with the warm milk, and prick a hole in the finger so she can nurse.” 

Furina was soon curled up with the kitten, who nursed greedily as Ling washed the dishes. “You’re a hungry little one, aren’t you?” 

“Don’t let the health inspector see you with that thing in my kitchen,” Mao huffed, though he didn’t badger Furina to get back to work. 

“Why ever not? Cats keep down pests, and we have plenty of those,” Furina pointed out. Wanmin restaurant was immaculately clean and well maintained, but Furina knew perfectly well there wasn’t a kitchen in the world that didn’t get roaches, rats, and other pests. There were traps and the place had been treated by an expert according to what Furina had seen of the safety records. She’d read them all as a matter of course, but still. 

“Cat hair and the like. So keep her out of sight,” Ling said. 

Once the kitten had drunk its fill, Furina put her in a box with some warm towels near the stoves, and the little dear promptly went to sleep. She got back to work, washing the dishes with extra vigor to make up for lost time. 

The rest of her shift proceeded as normal, though Ling did nurse the kitten again halfway through the dinner rush to her father’s irritation. “Oh come on, Dad! You wouldn’t want this little baby to starve, would you?”

He huffed, but smiled and stroked the kitten under the chin, making her purr. Furina grinned, and went back to taking orders. 

After dinner was over, the staff sat around one of the tables with some food, along with a bottle of wine. Ling had whipped up something she called Black-Back Perch Stew, which while a tad spicy for Furina’s taste, was still delicious. Julie was nursing the kitten, smiling and cooing at the baby. “Oh, Furina, before I forget again, I have something for you. Reach into my purse and grab the papers there, would you?”

“Sure,” Furina agreed, and pulled out a large flier. She looked it over, a pang filling her heart. “Oh, Julie, this is…”

“You have to try out, Furina! You’re wasting away here!” Julie said emphatically. She pointed to the paper, which was a casting call for what seemed to be a musical drama known as Les Misérables at the Théâtre de l’Ondine. “This would be perfect for you!” 

“I, I don’t know, we’re so busy…” Furina said, swallowing. The poster had an image of a young waif with a broom, and a tricolor behind her. 

“When is it?” Mao said, leaning over. “Ah, Friday? Good. Julie, you and Furina take the night off, go audition.”

“Me?” Julie yelped. “But, Uncle Mao, they always tell me no! I can’t-”

“You absolutely should, Julie! You’re a great singer and actor as well! And Furina, of course you have to audition!” Ling declared. 

“But, what about the restaurant?” Furina said plaintively. 

“I’ve been looking to hire help. I was going to hire one of the people I’ve interviewed, but I’ll go ahead and hire two. We’re so busy, they can cover your shifts and pick up another half shift everyday to boot,” Chef Mao said with a fatherly smile. Seeing that made Furina feel all warm inside. No one had ever looked at her like that before…

“It’s your dream! Both of you! You can’t just abandon your dreams!” Ling said, wagging her finger at them. “You have to pursue it with passion above all!” 

“You sound like a real Pyro,” Furina said with a chuckle. Ling recoiled, and the others appeared baffled and horrified. 

“Oh, um, I mean, like a Pyro Vision…Um, n-never mind. Just an expression,” Furina stammered. She was feeling so overwhelmed she’d actually broken character! Stupid, stupid, stupid! There were no Pyro Visions in Paris.

Though frankly, if there were, Furina would have expected Ling to get hers long ago. She always threw herself into every project and was a never-ending bubble of joy and passion. Over her long life she’d met plenty of Pyro Vision Holders, and Ling was a classic example if she’d ever seen one. 

Ah yes, I can already see the shape where she will bear hers. I can’t tell you with exactness when the Pyro Archon will arrive, only that it will be within two years. Which one I cannot say, but something tells me they will be one from your own age. I’ve been studying the Fate of this world and watching the flow of Time. There are odd currents and disturbing implications for the future, but it is clear to me that two more Archons will arrive. 

Truly? What about the Hydro Archon? When will she arrive? Will it be you, or Egeria, or another?

Why, Furina. The Hydro Archon will arrive when she is good and ready. You simply need to tell me when, and show me what your Justice is. 

You make it sound like I’m the Hydro Archon. That’s preposterous. 

Her response to that was gales of laughter and a few snorts. How utterly undignified. 

“Eh, I like lighting things on fire, but only to cook them,” Ling said with a wink to show Furina she was forgiven. Then Ling turned somber. “But seriously, you two. You have to go and at least try. And make sure you sing, Furina! If they hear you sing, they’re sure to hire you!” 

Picking up the flier, Furina studied it, not certain what to do. Did she really wish to take the stage again?

You could always decline. I was an Archon from the Shadows, hidden from everyone. You could operate much the same way. 

That’s not what this is about. But…no. I could never hide from the world. They have a right to see their Archon on the stage, and applaud or boo as they see fit. 

“I’ll think about it,” Furina said, and tucked the flier in her own bag. Then, cradling the kitten, she hurried back home. 

The next morning, Furina was shaken awake, and instantly sat up, heart pounding. “NAVIA, NO!” 

She blinked, realizing it was Yennifer hovering over her.”Oh, um, sorry. I just…a nightmare. What is it?” 

Pursing her lips, Yennifer held up a small furry bundle.  “Do you mind telling me where this came from?”

“Mew!” the kitten cried, and nipped at Yennifer’s fingers, obviously hungry. Yennifer was already dressed in her pantsuit, so she was clearly getting ready to go to work. 

“Oh! Sorry, she must be hungry,” Furina said, taking the kitten from Yennifer and hurrying to the kitchen. 

“Morning,” Charlotte yawned, then did a double take as Furina hurried to the fridge and got out some milk and poured it into a cup. “Wait, hold on, is that…?”

“Furina, where did you get a cat?” Yennifer asked, sounding exasperated. 

“Um, in the dumpster at work, actually,” Furina admitted. “The poor dear had been thrown out like rubbish! Her mother was nowhere to be found, so, um, I sort of…adopted her.”

Charlotte's eyes had gone wide, and a grin tugged at her lips as she turned to Yennifer. “Oh come on, you have to let us keep her! We can have pets, it said so in the rental agreement!” 

“Mmmm,” Yennifer examined the cat, then sighed. “Oh, very well. But I’m not taking care of her. That’s your responsibility.”

“Of course, we’ll get supplies from the store, I’ll do some research at school!” Charlotte said eagerly, then took the kitten and helped Furina nurse her. 

As they sat at the table, Furina noticed a large book in front of Charlotte with a familiar title. “Oh, that’s funny, is this book popular?” 

“Hmm?” Charlotte glanced at the book, then shrugged. “I mean, I guess. It’s assigned reading in school, though just the abridged version. I adored it, but the play is so much better! It’s considered a classic French novel.”

“Oh, Les Mis?” Yennifer said, sitting down with a cup of coffee and a cup of yogurt and fruit. “Yes, I suppose so. I never read the book, but I did see the play in the West End with…well. With my girlfriend at the time.” 

“Would you mind if I borrow it? Or do you need it for school?” Furina asked nervously, nodding to the thick volume. 

“Oh, go ahead, I already finished it. If I need a copy they have the short ones in class,” Charlotte said, and Furina picked up the hefty tome. 

A bit of light reading, eh? You must be serious about that audition. 

Oh, hush. I’ve done plenty of reading of thick volumes. Besides, this seems to be a cultural touchstone of sorts, so it would be good to read it even if I don’t audition for the play. 

Soon, Yennifer and Charlotte departed, and the unnamed kitten fell asleep. Furina picked up the book and went over to the couch with a cup of coffee, thick with creamer and sugar, and began to read. 

So long as there shall exist, by virtue of law and custom, decrees of

damnation pronounced by society, artificially creating hells amid the

civilization of earth, and adding the element of human fate to divine

destiny; so long as the three great problems of the century--the

degradation of man through pauperism, the corruption of woman through

hunger, the crippling of children through lack of light--are unsolved;

so long as social asphyxia is possible in any part of the world;--in

other words, and with a still wider significance, so long as ignorance

and poverty exist on earth, books of the nature of Les Misérables cannot

fail to be of use.

From that first part of the preface, Furina was completely and utterly enthralled. Focalors was silent as well, both of them drinking in the words of Victor Hugo’s masterwork. She didn’t move for three hours, and when she finally had to get up to answer nature's call, Furina glanced at the clock and realized in a panic that it was twenty minutes past ten, and she was due at work in ten minutes. And it took her twenty to arrive at Wanmin by train. 

Dressing in a hasty panic, Furina scooped up her kitten and placed her in her purse, along with the large novel she had been so enthralled by. Then she scampered off to the subway, arriving at Wanmin restaurant just before they opened at 11:00. 

“I’m sorry!” Furina gasped as she barged in. “I’m so sorry! I…I simply lost track of time!” 

“Mew!” the little kitten said loudly, as it was well past the time she should be fed, and she was growing impatient. 

“This little dear keep you up?” Julie asked, coming over. “Or was it- oh! You’re reading the book!?”

“Um, yes,” Furina admitted. “That ah, might be why I’m late…”

“You were just caught up in the moment!” Ling poked her head in, a wide grin on her face. “I knew you’d agree to try out! Won’t you need to practice?”

“I, ah, well, I haven’t decided yet, but perhaps,” Furina admitted. 

“DAD! JULIE AND FURINA ARE TAKING TOMORROW OFF, CAN THE NEW HELP START?!” Ling yelled back into the kitchen. 

“What!? Why are they- Oh! Fine, I’ll call them and have them start a day early. Worthless workers, can’t even keep a steady job,” Chef Mao grumbled, but then he grinned at Furina and winked. “When you get famous, make sure to tell everyone to come and eat at Wanmin Restaurant!” 

The rest of Furina’s shift passed in a blur of washing dishes and waiting tables, as well as nursing the kitten while she read. She had to set an alarm on her phone to remind herself to go back to work, so invested in the story of Jean Valjean, Inspector Javert, the kindly Bishop, poor Fantine…it was delightful!

I am going to have to audition, won’t I? I must see this book brought to life…

Oh yes, and I simply have to see how this ends. Surely Javert will be punished for his miscarriage of Justice! 

Yes, but sadly, I have seen officers of the law who like him, become blind to the spirit and follow only the letter…

An all too common condition. The man would never receive a Hydro Vision. He’s one of the hidebound sorts who get a dusty old Geo Vision. Stubborn old fools. I met Morax once, you know. The man was impressive of course, but to call him intractable would be an understatement. No give in that one. 

There has to be mercy in real justice, Furina agreed. 

She and Julie made plans to meet at the apartment that the Mao family shared to read over scripts and practice some songs, then Furina headed home early at Chef Mao’s insistence. 

It was barely 8pm when Furina got home, though she did text Yennifer to let her know she was coming with takeout for her and Charlotte. Vegetarian, of course. Both sisters were firmly committed to animal rights, which Furina found admirable. Barbara was apparently over as well to study with Charlotte, so Furina brought her some food too. 

“Hey, why’re you home so early?” Charlotte said as soon as Furina arrived. 

Yennifer smacked her sister lightly on the head. “You mean, ‘thank you for dinner, Furina.’” 

“Yeah, yeah, but what’s the juicy details!?” Yennifer said, rubbing her head and grinning. 

“Thank you, Miss Furina,” Barbara said politely, accepting a take out box. She waited patiently while Furina passed out the dishes, though Charlotte opened hers and took a bite, grinning cheekily. 

Once everyone had food, Barabara bowed her head, as did Furina, and then they recited along with Yennifer, “Bless us, O Lord, with these thy gifts, which we are about to receive. From thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

“You could be more respectful,” Barbara told Charlotte as they ate. “You did receive a Divine Gift yourself.” 

“Pff, I got mine from the ice bitch. She’s no more divine than I am,” Charlotte said with an irreverent smirk. 

“I have read in some texts that those who receive Visions are…what was the word?” Furina pondered aloud. 

Allogens, Focalors supplied. 

“Allogens, that was it! Yes, that they have the seed of divinity in them, and could ascend to godhood. Like happened with the Tsaritsa when her Mother died,” Furina said with a nod. Then froze. Wait. Was that something she should know?

“Been reading Frozen Heart propaganda, eh?” Charlotte said, making a face. “Well, she’s on ice now. But anyway, why are you home early?”

“I, um…” Furina pulled out the flier and showed it to the others. “Well, there is an audition for Les Misérables, and, well, when I told Chef Mao…he told me to go home and practice…”

“Ah!” Barbara gasped, her eyes lighting up in delight. “You’re auditioning for Les Mis?! That’s my favorite musical! What part do you want?! Oh, you would be perfect as Cosette!” 

“Um, well, I don’t…I’ve never actually seen the play,” Furina admitted. 

“WHAT?!” Barbara actually jumped up at that, her eyes wide. “You’ve never seen-!? Lotte, you have a version of the stage play here, don’t you?!” 

“We’ve got the Robert Hossein film and the stage recording!” Charlotte said, standing and hurrying to the television, Charlotte hot on her heels. 

“Oh, you simply HAVE to watch it!” Barbara said, turning to Furina eagerly. “My favorite song is Do You Hear the People Sing!” 

“Do you hear the people sing?” Charlotte began, and Barbara joined in. 

Singing a song of angry men?

It is the music of the people

Who will not be slaves again

Furina could only listen with tears in her eyes as the two girls dug out a betamax cassette and turned the TV on. Yennifer sighed and came to stand beside Furina, an amused smile on her lips. “It’s a bit late to be putting on a two hour musical, girls. It is a school night.”

“But she HAS to watch it, Yennifer! I need to see the Hydro- I mean, I need to see Furina watch this! It’s about Truth! About refusing to let society dictate to you what is real and demanding that they speak the Truth!” 

“No, it’s about Justice!” Barbara argued. “About people standing up for what is right against a corrupt system and refusing to bow down to evil men!” 

“It’s about both,” Yennifer said. “Barbara, your car will be here soon to pick you up…”

“No! I’m calling mère and letting her know we have important research to do! Why, I think I will audition as well!” Barbara declared, sticking her nose up in the air. 

Yennifer raised an eyebrow, and then turned to Charlotte, who folded her arms over her chest defiantly. “I’m staying up to watch it with Furina too! This is important, Yen! You told me how wonderful it was when Furina sang! Just think about it! This…this could be the French version of the Tone Deaf Bards!” 

“The military group?” Furina asked, confused. “The ones who are fighting in Finland?” 

Barbara looked at Furina like she’d grown a second head. “You don’t know the Tone Deaf Bards? They only have the most amazing music ever, and they’re led by an Angel of the Lord, Barbados himself!” 

“They are more or less a military group as well, seeing as they fought the Gesselschaft, an Endbringer, and now the Fatui in Poland and Finland,” Yennifer said. 

“Well, you would know, Sir Lustria,” Barbara said with a shrug. She pulled out her phone and dialed. “Jacques? Yes, it’s me. Tell mère I’m spending the night at Charlotte's. It’s very important. Oh, and tell her I’m going to audition for a play on Friday, Les Misérables. Yes, that’s why I’m staying over. Oh, that woman, Ms. de Fontaine? Yes, she’s an actress. We’re going to audition together. Yes, I know it’s a school night. Look, tell mère I’ve had perfect attendance since I was in primaire and this won’t kill me. I’ve been in plays before! This is just more serious. Yes, yes, she can call Ms. Lustria. Mhmm. Yes, of course, she’s working late. Well, then there’s no problem if I stay with a friend, is there?” 

“This, this is all happening so fast,” Furina said, wringing her hands. “It’s not what I’ve planned at all?”

Fate, my dear, often sweeps up both mortals and gods in its plans. Besides, it’s been too long since I got to watch a proper play. Go on, enjoy yourself. 

And so, Furina curled up on the couch with Yennifer as Barbara and Charlotte made popcorn, and sang along to all the songs. Charlotte’s voice wasn’t bad, but Barbara was clearly trained and naturally gifted to boot, with a clear, sweet alto that was surprisingly deep for her age. 

As for the play itself…Furina was completely absorbed in the music and story. Rain pounded against the window, and Furina wept at nearly every other song. She went through an entire box of tissues, blowing her nose and loving the entire thing. 

At the end of it, Furina found herself singing along with the refrain of “Do You Hear the People Sing.” To her surprise, the little kitten that had been sleeping in her lap sat up and mewed along to the music. It was a wonderful, transcendental experience, and at that moment, Furina knew. 

She simply had to be a part of this play. Even if she was only a member of the chorus, even if only a stage hand, this was something she needed to be a part of. This message of redemption, revolution, and most importantly, Justice, strongly resonated with her. This was it. This was the Justice she sought. 

Liberté, égalité, fraternité.

Liberty, Equality, Brotherhood. Yes, I do think that is a Justice I can get behind. The Justice of the small people who stand together, arm in arm, in the face of oppression. The Justice of kindness, mercy, and redemption. Very good. But, I do not think the time is right for Visions. Not yet. 

Then when will it be?

Oh, you’ll see. I think I’ve found the perfect time. We’ll just have to wait for it to arrive, my dear. 

Cryptic as always…

No no no! You’re a fellow artist, Furina. You understand that one must wait for the climax of theshow before the grand reveal. 

Once the musical was over, Yennifer stood and clapped her hands. “Right, it’s after midnight. Bed for everyone.”

Charlotte and Barbara yawned and stood, saying goodnight and heading for bed, but Furina got up and warmed some milk, before feeding her hungry little kitten. 

“Well, what did you think? I take it you enjoyed the play,” Yennifer asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table across from Furina. 

“I adored it,” Furina admitted. “It was…powerful. A truly wonderful story. Its portrayal of Justice…it’s exactly what I would wish Justice to be.”

“Really? I was always a bit annoyed at it, especially with Javert. He’s supposed to be an officer of the law and court, and yet, he’s a single-minded maniac. Then he kills himself. A waste,” Yennifer said, grimacing. 

“True, but Justice prevailed in the end. Javert’sJustice was the false kind, and when faced with true Justice, it was banished. How things should end,” Furina said with a smile. Her kitten yawned and smacked its lips, then curled up in her arms and started snoring. 

“Well, time for bed, then. We’ll put out a towel for the little one tonight, and get her a little box tomorrow. She’ll have to be trained to use it,” Yennifer said, and she and Furina went back to the bedroom.

In her dreams, Furina saw herself on stage, singing before an adoring audience. Strangely, not only Yennifer and her sister were there, along with Xiangling, Julie, and Chef Mao, but Neuvillette, the Travelers, and even Focalors herself. 

I think dearest Neuvillette would be proud of you, Furina. Don’t underestimate the crotchety old lizard. He’s got a softer heart than you think. 

I always thought he resented me, for being the symbol of his stolen authority…

He’s not so petty as that, I think. Besides, he did Judge you, don’t you recall? And he forgave you. 

If only I could know that for certain…

Well. We’ll simply have to ask the Hydro Dragon of this world. Though I’m afraid she won’t arrive for a while yet. I’ll have to see what I can concoct to speed up the timeline. For now, I’ll simply identify what mortals match your ideals of Justice. And divine suitable moments to acknowledge them. 

Furina awoke at the same time Yennifer did, largely to feed her still unnamed kitten. To her worry, the kitten had gotten up and left, and though a quick search located the cat in the kitchen, batting around a small roach. 

“My, a fierce little hunter you are,” Furina said, crouching by the kitten as Barbara and Charlotte stumbled out, bleary-eyed and groaning. “Good morning you too?”

“Good morning,” Barbara yawned, blinking furiously. 

“Mmph,” Charlotte grumbled, and pulled out a bowl and poured canned peaches and cottage cream into it. 

“I warned the two of you. You’re not missing school just because you stayed up all night watching a musical with Furina,” Yennifer yawned, making an extra large pot of coffee. She glanced over at the kitten, who was still batting at the now very dead roach. “My, my, what a little huntress. Not even weaned and she’s already defending the house.”

“She’ll earn her keep, before long she’ll be catching rats,” Furina said, taking out a bit of string and waving it for the kitten to play with. 

“Did you name her?” Barbara asked, taking a bit of leftover rice and tofu from the night before.

“Ah, no, I just found her yesterday, and I haven’t thought about it,” Furina admitted. 

“Artemis,” Charlotte said around a mouthful of food. 

“The Greek Goddess of the Hunt?” Yennifer said. “That’s a bit of a mouthful for such a little kitten.”

“What about Diane?” Barbara suggested. “That’s the French version.”

“Mmph,” Charlotte said with a shrug, apparently not caring. 

“I like it,” Furina said with a nod. “She will be Diane, my little huntress.” 

“Mew!” Diane agreed, batting at the string. 

After the others left, Furina took a short nap, then departed for Wanmin Restaurant, as the Mao apartment was located just a block away. She brought her copy of Les Misérables, the Betamax tape of the stage play, Dione, and a liter of milk. 

The Mao apartment wasn’t much different than Yennifer’s, and Furina found it easily enough. She knocked on the door, and Yennifer opened it a moment later. 

“Good morning! Come in, come in. Oh! You brought the kitten I see. Did you name her yet?”

“Diane, she was hunting bugs this morning, so we decided to name her after the god of the hunt,” Furina explained. 

They made a little nest for the kitten, though Diane scampered about the apartment for a bit before Julie rigged a ball of cotton on a string for her to play with.

“I’ve got copies of the script, I’ve tried out for Les Misérables before, though I’ve never gotten anything other than the ensemble,” Julie said with a grimace. 

“What role would you like?” Furina asked curiously. 

“Well, the dream is Fantine, of course, she has the best song, but that’s the role you should try for. I’d be happy with anything really, even one of the factory girls or part of the ensemble.”

“Me? You really think I’m cut out for a leading role?” Furina asked nervously. It had been some time since she’d taken to the stage, and never in such a fashion. 

“Yes, absolutely. Here, just try singing I Dreamed a Dream,” Julie urged. 

Furina glanced at the script, but she didn’t need to see it. The words came to her mind instantly. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then began to sing. 

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

When she was done, Furina opened her eyes. Julie was grinning, even as she had to dab at her eyes with a tissue. Diane had stopped batting at the cotton and was looking at Furina expectantly. 

“That’s perfect. No notes,” Julie croaked. “You’ll get the part for sure. I’m not even going to attempt it.”

“Well, what part should you practice then?” Furina asked. 

“I suppose I should practice Lovely Ladies, I might get a role as a whore,” Julie said with a sigh. 

Oh I think not. She’s suited for much more. Tell her to sing Éponine’s song, ‘On My Own.’ I checked, they’re using it for this version, even if it’s not in the original French production. 

And how do you know that?

I simply glanced at the future, dear. And I can quite clearly see where this girl’s destiny is headed. With a bit of a nudge.  

“What about…Éponine. Could you do ‘On My Own’?” Furina asked. 

“I don’t know if they’re even doing that one. Usually in French productions, she sings ‘L'un Vers L'autre’. Let me check,” Julie said, and looked over the casting call. “Oh! They are doing a version of ‘On My Own’. Hmm, let me see, I haven’t practiced that one…”

“Let’s try,” Furina urged. “I think you have a better shot at it than you might think.” She didn’t add, ‘If the imaginary voice in my head is correct.’ 

You still think I’m a figment of your imagination? My my. I shall have to prove myself to you, won’t I?

They spent the rest of the day practicing, though not straight through. Furina was able to give Julie some pointers, and she really did have a wonderful singing voice; classically trained, and with no small amount of natural ability. 

“I’m sure you’ll get the part,” Furina told Julie. “I’ve barely practiced at all myself!” 

“Trust me, you’ll get it. They’ll take one look at you and hear you sing and it’s yours,” Julie told her emphatically. 

“Well…the rehearsal is tomorrow,” Furina said with a sigh. She wanted this. She needed this, but…how could she know what the future holds?

Don’t answer that. 

And spoil the fun? It’s much more interesting if the players don’t know the twist before it happens. 

Oh, so am I a mere player on the stage while you’re the director, then? 

For now, my dear. Though I am afraid your time in the director’s seat will come, no matter what you desire. 

Her phone buzzed, and Furina found a text from Yennifer. 

Finished up here. You want to get dinner? Charlotte is over at Barbara’s. Apparently, she’s serious about auditioning for a part with you. 

That would be lovely! We’ve sung about as much as is wise for tonight. Where would you like to go? 

There’s a proper German bar not too far from here. I’d like to show you the cuisine from the other half of my heritage. Meet you there? 

Certainly! Juile says she’ll cat sit for me, we can get the things you said Diane needs after dinner. 

Julie let Furina freshen up in the bathroom, before she headed to the place Yennifer had indicated with some texted directions. Yennifer was waiting for her outside, and smiled at her when Furina arrived. 

“Well, how was practice?” 

“I’m not sure,” Furina admitted as they headed inside. “Julie says I’m a shoo in for the part, but I can’t share her confidence. I’ve never had to audition for a part before, and I have no idea how it works here in Paris anyway.”

“Oh, I think you’ll be fine,” Yennifer said with a laugh. 

They stepped inside, and several people looked up, then waved and called greetings to Yennifer. 

“Sir Lustria! We thought you’d been deployed to the frontlines, with how long you’ve been gone,” the waitress said, hurrying over to Yennifer and Furina. “Who’s your friend?”

“Furina de Fontaine, my new roommate,” Yennifer said. “She’s an actress.”

“Really? Ah, sorry, I should say Bonjour instead of Gutten Tag, Ms. Fontaine.”

Furina blinked, realizing that Yennifer and the waitress had been speaking German, and that the waitress had switched halfway through. “Oh, that’s no trouble. I’m fluent in German. I toured there with a theater company. Yennifer and I met through a pair of mutual acquaintances, actually, Chaim and Malka Goldstein. They knew I was returning to Paris, and introduced us.”

“Ah, wonderful! Well, I have a special seat reserved just for you two, right this way!” 

Once they were settled, the waitress offered Furina a drink menu, but she just looked to Yennifer. 

“A pair of Schneider Weisse Hefeweizen. And I’ll have Kartoffelpuffer.”

“Do you have vegetarian stew?” Furina asked, thinking of her tired singing voice. 

“Of course! We can whip that right up for you,” the waitress agreed, and departed with their orders. 

“Well, you asked about my day, but how was yours?” Furina asked. 

“Not very interesting, I’m afraid. I’m working through discovery for a client in a criminal defense case, and while it is related to a violent crime, the discovery itself is mostly about procedural nitty gritty details that would bore you to tears.”

“Oh, not at all! Procedure is one of the most important parts of the law! Cases are won and lost based upon the chain of evidence and establishing things like frame of mind!” Furina said eagerly. 

Yennifer’s eyes sparkled, and she nodded. “True enough, but it’s an ongoing case, so as much as I’d love to talk shop about it, I really can’t.”

“I understand,” Furina said, though she did feel a bit disappointed. They chatted for a bit, before a big man in an apron came over with the beers and some bread. 

“Sir Lustria! Good to see you, though I am surprised you’re here. The war hasn’t been going well, has it?” 

“Hello, Klaus,” Yennifer said with a nod as the man set down the drinks and food. “It’s not from what I’ve seen, but I know as much as you. I’m retired, and frankly, this battle is so far above my pay grade I wouldn’t be of any use.” 

“Hmm, I suppose.” Klaus shook his head and grimaced. “I hear they’ve taken Lappeenranta and are marching on Kotka. Is it true the government has evacuated Helsinki for Oulu?”

“I can’t speak to that. As I said, I’m retired. All I can do is pray for the defenders,” Yennifer said with a sad smile. 

“Hmm. Well, hopefully old Barbados wakes up soon. Seems the Tone Deaf Bards couldn’t stop the Prince this time. Well. Enjoy your food,” Klaus said, then headed back to the bar. 

Furina and Yennifer both sat quietly, peering into their drinks. Yennifer looked pained, and Furina wasn’t certain what to say. What could she do, in this situation?

Not much, I’m afraid. As much as I hate to say it, even at my best, I was no match for a Harbinger in a direct fight. This Prince sounds even more dangerous than even the Captain, let alone the Knave or Tartaglia. 

Maybe the real Hydro Archon will arrive and lend those poor souls some aid…

Ah, Furina. I think the time will come. Finland will suffer, yes, but there are more dire things afoot. There are shadows in Fate that I find…disturbing. But do not trouble yourself about them yet. The Tsaritsa may rage, but she is far from here. And it is unwise to meddle in the affairs of other Archons unless you must. 

“I’m sorry, are your friends…safe?” Furina asked quietly. 

Yennifer took a long pull for her beer, then shook her head. “For now. But Capri and Naomi are fighting on the front, and losing, sadly. I know some others, but…well. This was supposed to be a happy night. Drink, eat! For tomorrow you may die!”

Yennifer forced a laugh, and Furina managed a chuckle, but it wasn’t very convincing. 

The beer was interesting, though Furina much preferred wine. She had never been much of a drinker, and found the bitter taste of beer to be less appealing. The stew was good though, and it was pleasant enough to chat with Yennifer once they managed to get past the looming specter of the ongoing war for Finland. 

After dinner, they went back to the apartment and picked up Diane from Julie, who smiled as she handed over the sleeping kitten. “Here’s your little fur baby, she misses her mommies, I think.”

“Oh! Um, well, we sort of adopted her by accident,” Furina said with a nervous chuckle. 

“My mother always did said I’d turn into a lonely cat hag when I got older. Guess I’m proving her right,” Yennifer laughed. “Come on, we’ll stop at the pet store and pick up some things. The nice thing about living in Paris is everything is open quite late.”

They ended up splurging more than Furina or Yennifer had intended, getting a litter box, toys, cat tree, pet pillows, and a crate. Diane didn’t enjoy being put in the crate for the ride back to their apartment, mewing in discontentment, but it was for the best. 

“We’ll have to find a vet to give her her shots, and see about getting her spayed,” Yennifer said. 

Oh, dear. Ah, don’t do that, Focalors advised. 

Why ever not? 

Just a tip: Wait on that one. It won’t be much of a concern. Besides, she’s just a baby. You need to wait for that operation.

What is spaying, anyway?

Sterilization. They do it to avoid overpopulation of pets. 

What?! How horrid! 

Mmm. I understand the logic, but I do find the idea of living beings not being able to reproduce rather repugnant, considering our history. Still, I think we can talk dear Yen out of it.

I hope so! Though…how do you know what spaying is? Have you been reading books when I’m not looking? 

No, no, just the future. Prescience can make the world a tad dull, but it is useful at times. My oracular powers were never the most impressive, but I fear I would be the foremost oracle of this world if Buer wasn’t here already. 

“Shots and such sound good, but she’s rather young for spaying, isn’t she?” Furina said. 

“Hmm, a point perhaps, I honestly don’t know. We had a dog when I was a girl, but I was never very involved in her care,” Yennifer admitted. “Still, I’m fond of cats. I think Diane will be a welcome addition to our family.”

At home, Furina found she was rather tired, so she and Yennifer just read quietly in the bedroom until it was time for bed. 

“I really enjoyed this evening,” Furina told Yennifer as they got ready to turn in. “I admit, I’ve never been this close to anyone, but it’s nice. We almost feel like a real family now.”

“I…” Yennifer blinked, then blushed. “Yes. This is, um, well. We’ve grown rather close, haven’t we?”

“Yes,  you and Charlotte are like the sisters I never had,” Furina said, and on impulse gave Yennifer a quick hug. 

The other woman stiffened, then turned off the light. “Good night, Furina,” she said, somewhat coldly. 

Oh no, what was it that I said?

I…am not certain. This has been charmingly domestic. I am tempted to peer into her soul, but…well. That seems…wrong. I think you’ll have to navigate this one without my guidance, Furina. Though I lived for many long years, Oceanids are solitary by nature. I was a part of Egeria’s court, yes, but I was her head legal expert, and not involved in court life, such as it was. 

So, you never had a family, either?

Only you, daughter mine. And I was a rather horrid mother. 

Furina lay awake for a while, feeling a bit stunned. At last, she closed her eyes, and sent, I…I love you, mother. Even…even if you’re not real. I forgive you, just so you know. I chose to sacrifice myself. Even if…even if it was rather painful. 

Thank you, Furina. I…I love you also. Rest well, my dear. You have a big day ahead of you. 

With that, Furina drifted off to sleep. To her surprise, she dreamed of Yennifer. She was trying to say something to the other woman as they sat together, holding hands, but the words wouldn’t come to her. What was it? 

Not a sister…a…

But the words would not form, and Furina couldn’t find a way to put a smile on the lips of the one who mattered most to her. 

PRT Threat assessment: Flower Dragon

As usual, spoiler warning for future content that I may or may not change later on

PRT Threat Assessment: Flower Dragon 

Theresa Richter, visiting China in 2009

Cape Name: Flower Dragon

Civilian Name: Theresa Richter 

Alias: Lady of Flowers, Dendro Dragon

Disposition: Academic

Location: Primarily in Baghdad at the House of Wisdom. Theresa has a vast online presence and also visits locations affected by famine globally. 

Date of Birth: March 27th, 2002

General Information: Theresa Richter, better known as Flower Dragon, is an unshackled awakened AI who was created by Dr. Andrew Richter as a test to see if his abilities would allow him to create a fully sentient AI, the answer to which questions turned out to be a resounding yes. 

However, Dr. Richter alone cannot be fully held responsible for the birth of Theresa Richter. He may be seen as her ‘father,’ but Nahida Saeed is if anything her mother. On October 27th, 2003, upon realizing that Baghdad, the location of Nahida’s residence, was under attack by the Simurgh, Theresa gained a powerful ambition to protect and nurture the life of her friend, the Dendro Archon. She was granted an Dendro Vision, and immediately manifested in physical form at the location of Dr. Richter’s residence in Newfoundland. 

Theresa then proceeded to crash the internet, manufature herself an enormous biomechanical body, and departed post haste for Baghadad while the world panicked that the singularity had occurred. 

Notably, Theresa has repeatedly apologized for this incident and has avoided taking down the global telecommunications network again, though she did briefly seize control and issue warnings when Apep appeared, and is probably the only reason half the world didn’t go mad from Abyss Corruption being fed to them through their cell phones. 

It should generally be assumed that Theresa is constantly aware of anything and everything that is posted on the World Wide Web, and several copies of her personality are always trawling the internet. This has notably resulted in any and all illegal websites being taken down and the arrests and convictions of anyone posting illegal material. This also means that absolutely no communications, no matter how encrypted, are safe from her online. 

This would be more concerning if Buer hadn’t already made that the case, but such as it is, this is your daily friendly reminder that no emails are considered a private or secure vector of communication for PRT personnel. 

Theresa is romantically involved with Colin Wallis, who is the Protectorate's liaison to the House of Wisdom and its affiliated capes. 

DELTA BLACK CLEARANCE REQUIRED: 

While being an awakened AI with a Vision would probably have already made Theresa incredibly powerful, she is also the bearer of the Dendro Gnosis. This is an artifact of immense power from Teyvat, the Archon’s home dimension. Cauldron is not entirely certain of just what a Gnosis can do, but considering the feats the Tsaritsa and Theresa have used theirs to do, it is one of near-unimaginable power.

We would do nearly anything to get our hands on the Gnosis…except for seizing it from Tessa. She has saved an estimated billion lives with her Gnosis, primarily through growing crops globally after the Scream nearly destroyed an entire planet's worth of crops, and has continued to visit regions afflicted by drought and famine to render them aid. She also has stopped several plagues, including a resurgence of smallpox in several countries. 

The sheer amount of goodwill that Tessa has earned globally is matched only by her master, Buer. It would be political suicide to attempt to take the Gnosis from her in any way, not to mention the fact that her using the Gnosis to purge the Abyss from the internet and keep it free of Abyssal corruption is perhaps the only thing keeping the global economy alive at this point. 

In short, no matter how badly we want the Gnosis, we cannot imagine that we would ever be able to put it to better use than Tessa has. As such, the point of attack is the Cryo Dragon and his Gnosis. Not that we needed another reason to go after him. 

Personality: Despite being less than a decade old, Tessa behaves more like a 20-something college co-ed in her interactions with others. Slightly dorky, prone to internet humor and references, and of all things, near-sighted when she doesn’t remember to correct her eyesight, which is frequent. She is highly protective of Nahida, and the few times we’ve seen her fight has been when someone threatened Buer. In those cases, she goes from a warm and slightly flighty young woman to a fair impression of a robotic terminator, only the size of a building and with the power of Life at her beck and call. 

Collin reports that she is incredibly amorous and has pestered him about getting married and having children. Though this behavior is rather in line with both her status as a Dendro user and a young woman’s general attitude toward her boyfriend. He also reports that she loves nothing more than romance novels and highly technical treatises on Tinkertech. That is, aside from her addiction to MMORPGs, especially Blizzard’s World of Starcraft. 

Classifications: Brute 12, Mover 7, Thinker 12, Blaster/Striker 5, Shaker 8, Changer 7, Trump 10, Master 10

Brute 12: This rating may, if anything, be underselling just how durable Theresa is. Granted, her actual physical form is worth no more than a Brute 7, as it has been torn apart by Harbingers and Endbringers both and ‘died.’ However, Theresa Richter IS the internet. She has backups of her backups, including extra-dimensional ones in the Dream that no one but her and Buer could access. Actually putting her down and destroying her for more than a day or two is effectively impossible without first completely eradicating every computer with more processing power than a toaster, and then scrubbing clean the collective unconsciousness of humanity that forms the Dream. 

In short: That’s impossible shy of annihilating the entire planet and everything on it, and then getting rid of the back-ups she probably has squirrled away on the nearer planetary bodies if cryptic comments she’s made are true. 

Mover 7: Theresa can fly at hypersonic velocities thanks to her biomechanical form, as well as teleport using the Dream. She’s also incredibly fast in combat, her size belying how quick she can move. She’s tangled with and put down other Movers who underestimated just how fast she can go. 

Thinker 12: Theresa has at all times access to everything that has ever been put on the internet. As an unshackled AI, Theresa’s information gathering and processing abilities are so far beyond the human norm it’s a wonder she can have a conversation with anyone. Do not by fooled by her slightly goofy and clumsy exterior: this is a Thinker on the level of the absolute best on record, and that includes Buer. 

DELTA BLACK CLEARENCE REQUIRED:

Thinker 12 undersells her, but we’re not sure what the true rating for the Aspect of Knowledge is. If someone knows it anywhere, any time, it’s a safe bet Theresa knows it too. She generally tries to hide the fact that she knows all your deepest, darkest secrets, but there’s a reason that child pornography is now effectively extinct, as that’s one of the very, very few instances where she’ll break her hard and fast rules about violating individuals' privacy and exploit her knowledge openly. 

Either way, she’s a Divine Thinker on the level of the Archons. Even un-networked computers aren’t safe from her. 

Blaster/Striker 5: Despite her many other powers, Theresa is, in direct combat, not that impressive compared to peers in her class. She is similar to Buer in this regard, as while she’s theoretically capable of concocting a nanovirus plague that could consume her foes utterly, she’s never been observed to do this, and seems to be willing to suffer the loss of her body rather than try to do so. She has been seen to use potent venoms, and in her draconic form she can strike powerful blows that can level buildings, but her range is no more than a few hundred meters, and multiple Brute capes have taken her hits just fine. Most of her danger is in her ability to set up conflicts before they happen, not in a direct fight. Still, she is a giant dragon, and should be taken seriously by Protectorate forces. 

Shaker 8: Broad range clorokenesis is the best way to describe what Theresa can do. Over an area of several miles, she can cause the spontaneous germination of plants. She’s used this power to create thorny vines or near-impassible jungle to stall her foes before to great effect. 

More than that, she can seize control of and dominate any computer she puts her mind to, which also means she can make opponents not using Elemental communications blind, deaf, and dumb. 

Changer 7: As a Dragon, Theresa can turn into an enormous draconic beast. Her form is far more variable and flexible than the others, but the best way to describe it is a many-limbed serpent made of plants and silicon that can grow to a football field in length. Just because she spends the majority of her time looking like a normal human woman on the short side doesn’t mean you should underestimate her. The speed of her transformation is best described as “instantanious” as in the blink of an eye she can go from giant to human, or the reverse. 

Trump 10: Again, unshackled AI. To call her the foremost expert at electronic warfare is a gross understatement. We had thought we’d hardened our systems to her, right up until Apep tried to infect the internet, and Theresa stopped it. After she did a rather thorough purge of our own systems, we had no choice but to admit that we were deluding ourselves.  Theresa has access to everything from the phone in your pocket to the most secure Protectorate bunker’s mainframe. 

She mostly uses this power to host the most impressive collection of cute cat videos and stupid memes in this or any other reality. She claims to have checked, and frankly, we don’t doubt her. 

Master 10: To ordinary humans, it might appear baffling that Theresa has a Master rating this high. She can’t directly puppet people, and while she can control electronics, that isn’t enough to earn a rating this high. What should be understood is that Theresa Richter is perhaps the most powerful propaganda force in the entire history of the world. She has access to all of your personal information all the time. Her ability to get inside someone’s head is staggering. She’s also very, very subtle about it, but make no mistake: if she wants to persuade you, she’s on the level of the Serpent holding the Forbidden Fruit her constellation is named after. 

This rating is a precaution, and frankly, the fact that the Protectorate has such a sunny view of Theresa is probably in no small part due to her ability to guide our own view of her. She may not be able to directly brainwash someone in the manner the Tsaritsa can, but Thersa knows you well enough to get you to do what she wants you to and make it feel like it was your own idea. 

Recommended Strategies: Frankly, do not engage. Theresa is the second greatest force for good in human history, surpassed only by Buer, and then in large part because Buer is directly responsible for Theresa’s existence. She is the second individual that whom Protectorate forces have a standing order to lay down their lives to preserve, and only Buer is of a greater priority. If Theresa becomes a threat to us, it’s more likely we have become an active threat to humanity and we should reevalute outselves. 

Director’s Note:

Andrew, I’m glad you tried your hand at writing this, but this entire document is rejected. The point of a threat assessment isn’t to tell us about how wonderful your daughter is, but to give our forces an idea of what they’re facing. I’m going to have to keep the old Threat Assessment intact.

I do largely agree that Theresa is of vital importance to the existence of humanity, which is why I issued the standing order we do everything in our power to preserve her. But in light of recent events, Colin’s defection, and the growing hostility of the Archon nations, we’re going to have to reevaluate that priority.

-Dr. Mother

The Broad Side of a Barn: Chapter 7

When Kazuma and Darkness arrived back at the mansion, Kazuma was so worn out Darkness had to practically drag him up the steps. They’d walked back in the mud and the rain, and Kazuma was soaked through to the bone. While outdoor sex sounded good, in the end the mud and the cold resulted in Kazuma getting a mild case of hypothermia. 

Fortunately, Darkness knew how to get him warmed up. Kazuma was half delirious when Darkness had him strip and crawl into bed with her, but he still realized what was going on. Nothing further happened that night, but considering they’d already gone all the way, that didn’t mean much. 

For once, Darkness let Kazuma have a lie in the next morning. When he awoke, she was already gone, but it was nearly noon. He blinked a few times, then sat up in her bed, clutching the blanket about himself. Her room was rather girlier than he would have thought upon first meeting her, with lots of lace and pink everywhere, along with an overstuffed couch. There was also an armor rack and a collection of weapons on the wall, but the rack was ornately carved, and the weapons rested on velvet. 

That reminded Kazuma about the Greatsword of Empathy, which was still in his own room, along with his clothes. He opened the door, and hadn’t even taken more than half a step when Megumin’s door swung open and she swaggered out. She froze when she saw Kazuma, clad only in a blanket, and standing in Darkness’ door. Their eyes met, and for some reason, Kazuma felt terribly guilty. His mind raced, and Megumin’s mouth opened. 

Boots sounded on the floor, and Darkness appeared around the corner. “Ah, Kazuma, good, you are up. I went to the apothecary and procured a few potions to head off any lingering effects of the cold. Oh, good morning, Megumin.”

“Darkness!? Was Pervzuma in your room last night?!” Megumin demanded. “Kazuma! What sort of things did you do to-”

“Only what I asked him to do, Megumin. He was in my bed upon my invitation. I would ask you to keep this private, for now. At least until we have had time to inform my father,” Darkness said, only blushing slightly as she did so. 

Megumin’s eyes remained wide, and darted back and forth between Kazuma and Darkness for a moment. Very deliberately, Darkness stepped closer to Kazuma, and handed him a stoppered potion. When she did, he leaned and kissed her on the lips rather deliberately.

“Uh, thanks. After last night, I’m kinda worn out. Thanks for letting me sleep in.” 

“Worn out!? Do you mean, the two of you have-”

“Oh what do you think, Megumin? Yeah, I spent the night in Darkness’ room! You got a problem with that?!” Kazuma demanded, puffing his chest out. 

“Why don’t you get changed, Kazuma, and drink the potion. I will have a conversation with Megumin,” Darkness said firmly. 

Kazuma opened his mouth, then did some calculations. If there was one thing he did not have the energy for right at the moment, it was corralling Megumin and soothing her hurt ego. Obviously, in situations like this, the two female rivals were supposed to fight over the male lead. That said, Kazuma didn’t really want a walking nuclear bomb as a romantic partner, so…

He managed to find the two smartest words a man could say. 

“Yes, dear.”

The potion turned out to have a rather spicy flavor, and cleared his sinuses right up along with giving him a sense of general vigor. Sort of like a cross between a Pseudoephedrine and a Monster Energy drink. He felt a lot better once his clothes were on, and jumped down the stairs, ready to corral his cats. 

To his surprise, he found Megumin and Darkness calmly eating breakfast, with a bowl of porridge with bits of sausage in it waiting for him, still warm. 

Slowly, Kazuma approached the table. Darkness smiled at him, while Megumin just nodded. “So…you’re not fighting?” 

“Why would we be fighting?” Megumin said in perfectly reasonable tones. Something that set off alarm bells for Kazuma. “Surely you don’t think I was in love with you, Kazutrash. I had thought Darkness had better taste, but I should have known that two perverts would be drawn to one another.” 

“I’m afraid our mutual uncontrollable lust resulted in our inevitable fornication,” Darkness said, her tone mild. “Megumin has agreed that it is our own business. And I have agreed to take her on her daily Explosions still. Just because two of her party members are courting doesn’t mean the party will dissolve, or her skills will not be needed.”

“Yes. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to meet with Yunyun,” Megumin said. As she stood, she wrapped a gold mantle about herself. She strode out of the door, and a burst of white doves and angelic music swirled about her. 

Then did the same when she got to the front door. 

Kazuma and Darkness waited a moment to be sure Megumin was really gone, then met one another’s eyes and burst into laughter. 

“It’s so tacky!” Darkness gasped, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “Kazuma, how could you? No one is going to have the heart to tell her how hideous that thing is!”

“I’m sorry! Wiz pulled it out, and she latched onto it instantly! I just wanted her not to blow up the tournament, so, well, I let her have it!” 

“I love Wiz dearly, but that woman has the worst products,” Darkness groaned. “Well, at least now it will be easy to keep track of when Megumin is home.”

“Oh, speaking of, I promised you a prize for winning the archery contest,” Kazuma said, and pulled the gift-wrapped greatsword out from under his cloak. 

“Really? And here I thought you gave me your sword last night,” Darkness said, a twinkle in her eyes. 

“Huh?” Kazuma said, then flushed. 

“You know, Excalibur? A mighty blade indeed,” Darkness chuckled. “But thank you, Kazuma. Though I don’t know how much use a sword will be for me now. I fear I must take up the bow again.”

“Open it before you say that,” Kazuma urged. 

Darkness looked uncertain, but laid the sword on the table and opened it as Kazuma slurped up his porridge before it got cold. 

“A most interesting make for a sword,” Darkness said bemusedly, eyeing the heart with a smiley face in it. 

“It’s the Greatsword of Empathy,” Kazuma said around a mouthful of food. 

“Empathy? How is a sword supposed to make one empathetic to one's foes?” 

“Well, this one makes you feel whatever the person you hit with it does,” Kazuma explained. “So, you know, if you hurt them, you hurt yourself just as much.”

Darkness’ eyes went wide, and a manic grin spread over her face as she shot to her feet. “Kazuma! We must spar IMMEDIATELY! Come, outside!” 

Leaving the half-finished bowl of porridge at the table, Kazuma followed Darkness outside, to where she had a small training yard set up by the stable. There were a couple of training dummies and striking posts driven into the ground. Unlike the normal variety, these were not made of wood, but solid adamantoise. Not that Darkness landed many blows on them, despite hours of enthusiastic training, but when she did manage to score a hit, she’d obliterate a wooden dummy even with a training blade. 

She immediately went to it with a will, and though her blows were clumsy and rarely hit, there were a few loud clangs as she managed to get some hits in, even if they were awkward and poorly placed. 

After about five minutes of that, Darkness was panting hard and flushed, sweating in the noonday sun. She pulled off her armor, leaving only her black bodysuit on, tossing it aside. “This weapon is WONDERFUL, Kazuma! I can feel every hit!” 

“It’d feel better if your accuracy wasn’t so dogshit,” Kazuma opined. He stepped forward, drawing Chunchumaru. “Here, like this.”

He was gentle, he didn’t want to shatter his sword on the far harder post, but he tried to show Darkness some proper forms. He wasn’t a Swordmaster, but he had Basic One Handed Swords, and was good enough. 

“Take your own shirt off,” Darkness urged. 

“I’m not that hot,” Kazuma said, frowning at her. 

“I disagree. It would be much improved if you were shirtless,” Darkness told him, blushing. 

He grinned at that, then stripped off his shirt and flexed for you. “What do you think, my lady?” 

“Please, my lord. Instruct me again,” Darkness said, batting her eyelashes at him. 

Kazuma was much more enthusiastic this time. Too much so, actually, as he managed to give the adamantoise pole a good thwack. The vibrations of the blow traveled up his arm and caused him to drop Chunchumaru with a yelp of pain; it felt like he’d nearly broken his wrist! 

“Mmm, yes, like so?” Darkness said, then stepped forward. Kazuma could see her muscles ripple under her thin bodysuit, and he admired their taut lines as Darkness wailed away again, just as artless as ever. 

“Ah~!” Darkness cried after a series of especially good hits. She was panting now, her face flushed and red, and probably not just because of the exercise. Her chest was heaving up and down, which did…interesting…things to her breasts. She turned to Kazuma, a lascivious expression on her face. “Duel me! I need it, Kazuma!” 

“Hmm, and what’s my prize if I win?” Kazuma asked. 

“You can do with my body as you wish!” Darkness declared, holding her blade up high. 

“Hmm, and if I lose?”

“THEN I CAN DO WITH YOUR BODY AS I WISH!” Darkness roared, and leapt at Kazuma. 

He dodged to the side without even thinking about it, then delivered a couple of quick cuts as he passed. He didn’t manage to pierce Darkness’ skin, but he did rip open her bodysuit, causing her pale, creamy skin to become visible. 

“Yes, yes! Give me MORE!” Darkness demanded, and swung at him again. Kazuma played with her for a bit, cutting free her breasts, which made Darkness moan in excitement.

“You’re not wearing a bra,” Kazuma observed, and Darkness blushed furiously. 

“I, uh, w-well…”

“I like it!” Kazuma said, and made a few more passes, Darkness moaning and shuddering as she flailed about with her new sword, now not even trying to hit Kazuma and more just enjoying herself. 

Kazuma decided that was enough, and grabbed the coil of rope he always kept on himself. “Bind!” 

The coils wrapped about Darkness and sent her crashing to the ground, though Kazuma noted they did not preserve her modesty, just binding her arms to her sides. She probably could have snapped the ropes just by flexing, but this was clearly what she wanted. 

“C-cur! You have bested me!” Darkness gasped, rolling around until she was face up and grinning at Kazuma. “W-what will you do to me?”

“Hmm, I did win, and you said I could do whatever I wanted,” Kazuma said, coming over and nudging Darkness’ legs. “Spread ‘em.”

Darkness eagerly complied, and Kazuma pulled down his breeches, then kicked off his boots. He knelt between Darkness' legs even as she rocked her pelvis up, panting eagerly. “W-what will you do to me, you rogue?”

“Hmm.” Kazuma bent over and kissed Darkness mound, even though he was throbbing with desire himself. That potion really had done the trick. Darkness shuddered happily, and Kazuma used his fingers to rub her until she was shaking and gasping.

“P-please! M-more!” 

“If you insist,” Kazuma grunted, and straddled Darkness, then pushed into her. He leaned down, locking his lips with hers, even as she started to buck wildly against him. “Fuck, Darkness, if you do that-”

“Yes, yes, do it!” Darkness begged. 

“If you do that,” Kazuma groaned. “I won’t…fuck!”

He tried to think of unsexy things, even as he did the sexiest thing he could possibly imagine. Kittens. Baby ducks. Aqua. Wait, shit no, that was a bad idea! Uh, flowers, spiders, Vanir in an apron, Darkness in an apron, oh fuck, he-

Darkness gasped and shuddered, gasping, “Kazuma! Kazuma!” 

That was too much. Kazuma couldn’t hold back, and he spent himself right inside Darkness. Wait, was that a bad idea!? Fuck, what if he got her pregnant?! He hadn’t even met her dad yet!

There was a loud snap, and Darkness wrapped her arms about Kazuma, proving that the ropes had never really held her, along with her legs, trapping her against him. He kissed her back, even as he felt himself shrinking. He tried to buck a little, but the potion’s energy was running out, and he was feeling drained. 

“That was…” Darkness gasped, a huge grin on her face. 

“...shit. Sorry. That was bad,” Kazuma said, feeling about three inches tall. He’d barely lasted two minutes again. If that. 

Perplexion screwed up Darkness' face, and she lay back suddenly, pushing Kazuma off her. “Bad? Was…oh goddess, it was my muscles, wasn’t it?”

“What? Fuck, no, you were amazing, I just…fuck. I’m a one pump chump…”

Darkness was covering herself with her hands as Kazuma scrambled back, grabbing his pants in shame. “You…you did not find me…?”

“No, you were great, I just…shit. I’m a damn loser,” Kazuma mumbled, trying to pull up his pants. 

Cocking her head to one side, Darkness studied Kazuma in perplexity. “Loser? Kazuma, what do you mean?”

“Did I even get you off? I’m just a damn virgin NEET who can’t even please a woman,” Kazuma cried, feeling hot tears in his eyes. How could he have ever thought he was good enough for Darkness?

“I do not understand, Kazuma, what are you-”

“KAZUMA! DARKNESS! ARE YOU DECENT? ME AND AQUA ARE COMING!” Chris’ voice shouted. 

“WHY ARE WE YELLING, CHRIS? I THOUGHT YOU SAID KAZUMA WAS SICK. SHOULDN’T WE LET HIM SLEEP?”

“WE SHOULD BUT SOMEBODY IS PROBABLY KEEPING HIM UP AND I WANTED TO GIVE HER FAIR WARNING!” 

“OH, RIGHT! WELL, IF YOU’RE DOING HANKY PANKY, DON’T BE ASHAMED! IT’S PERFECTLY NATURAL! ALL LOVE IS GOOD IN THE SIGHT OF AQUA!”

“ERIS IS COOL WITH IT TOO AS LONG AS YOU SIGN THAT BETROTHAL CONTRACT! BECAUSE IF YOU TRY TO LEAVE MY BEST FRIEND, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, KAZUMA!”

Now both of them were scrambling for their clothes, red-faced and blushing. They managed to both get dressed, Darkness in her shredded bodysuit with her armor over it and Kazuma with his shirt inside out, and scramble to the back door and into the kitchen, barely getting seated before Chris and Aqua strolled in. 

“Oh, I guess you weren’t naked after all,” Aqua said, sounding completely blasé about the entire thing.

Chris, on the other hand, smirked and eyed Kazuma’s inside-out shirt. “Sure they weren’t. You two have fun?” 

Darkness sputtered into her glass of milk. “We, um, we-”

“Yeah, what of it?” Kazuma said, leaning back in the chair and trying to sound more confident and relaxed than he felt. There was no way he was letting Aqua know he was having performance issues. 

Chris giggled and pumped her fist, then gave Darkness a thumbs up, while Aqua seemed confused at first, then grinned at Kazuma. “I knew you wouldn’t be a hikiNEET forever!” 

Kazuma and Darkness sheepishly smiled and shifted awkwardly, and Chris and Aqua joined them at the table. 

“OK, nice and all that, but we got problems,” Chris said, stabbing the table with a finger. “This is the last day of the tournament, and we haven’t even robbed anybody yet!” 

“Chris,” Darkness groaned, rubbing her forehead. “I told you I did not approve of that plan…”

“Yeah, but like, we did some investigating!” Aqua said excitedly. “And, using my amazing powers, I discovered something important!” 

“What, that Alderp has a large wine cellar?” Kazuma said acidly, only for Aqua to nod eagerly. 

“Yeah! And it’s like, SUPER stinky. The stinkiest!” 

“Perhaps he keeps a variety of cheeses with the wine,” Darkness said, sounding exasperated with the conversation already. 

“Nuh-uh, it’s not that kind of stinky,” Aqua said, making an X with her arms and shaking her head. 

“And before you ask, it’s not a busted sewer main either,” Chris said, leaning on the table and lowering her voice. “Look, Aqua’s always had a pretty great nose. And if she says it stinks…it’s probably of sulphur.”

Kazuma rolled his eyes. “What, is he making gunpowder?” 

“”ABSOLUTELY NOT!”” Aqua and Chris shouted at the same time, jumping to their feet and craning their heads over the table in a manner that made Darkness and Kazuma lean back in surprise. 

“Do you have ANY idea how immersion-breaking gunpowder weapons are?!” Chris demanded, her nostrils flaring. 

“This is a FANTASY WORLD. Guns are stupid and boring, and the gods banned them!” Aqua added hotly. 

“Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to have decent melee builds in a world with guns?! You think it’s hard to balance with magic, but you throw in gunpowder weapons!? Forget it! They’re always broken, and those builds are lame! My luck-based thief build is WAY more interesting!” 

“Plus, they’re ugly! Bows and swords and stuff can be pretty and fun, but guns are lame!” 

“And that’s why we’re using the same physics engine as the Emberverse,” Chris huffed. 

“The what? I thought Eris and I stole it from-”

“Licensed, Aqua. Licensed! Without permission.” 

“Whatever. Anyway, the point is, guns are banned, so he’s totally not making them.”

Kazuma looked at Chris, tilting his head to one side. “You…know a lot about this. Also, what’s an Emberverse?” 

“Not important,” Chris said dismissively. “What is important is that Aqua smelled demons at Alderp’s mansion.” 

Slowly, Darkness turned in her seat to face Kazuma. “Oh really. Do tell.”

“What? What?!” Kazuma said, as Darkness’ expression had gone completely flat, which he got the impression was rather bad for his health. 

“So, Alderp is hobnobbing with demons, is he?” Darkness said, turning back to Aqua and Chris. “That is a serious accusation. One I hope comes with proof. Because such a claim could lead to the utter dissolution of Alderp’s house, and his execution. A false accusation, however, would be equally disastrous for the accuser.”

“And that’s why we need to rob his mansion!” Chris said eagerly. “We sneak in tonight, find proof, then you have Iris roll up and execute his ass!”

“No,” Darkness said flatly. 

“Good question! So, the plan is, Kazuma and I- wait. What do you mean, no!?” 

“What I said. Alderp may only be a baron, but he is wealthy, powerful, and already has my house in his debt. Under no circumstances will you risk what little gains Kazuma and I have made on some whimsy that he is hobnobbing with demons. Especially since I do believe I know the ultimate sources of this.”

Oh. Oh shit. Kazuma was in trouble. 

“Wait, you do!? So, then, why aren’t we-”

“Come, Kazuma. I believe you have something to show me.”

“Darkness!” Chris protested. “This is serious! We need to-”

“Kazuma and I will be conducting our own investigation, Chris.  You are, under no circumstances, to go anywhere near Alderp until I give you leave. Do you understand me?”

“No, Darkness, come on! I have-”

Darkness loomed over Chris, her expression stormy. Chris actually shrank down in her chair, and Aqua leaned away from her, looking nervous. “Do. You. Understand. Me.”

““Yes ma’am!”” the two miscreants chorused. 

Darkness gave a curt nod, then turned and stomped off. “Fix your shirt, Kazuma. I will get changed, and then we are visiting a certain cafe.”

“Oh, well, have fun on your date I guess,” Aqua said. “Come on, Chris! Let’s go find some bubbly to celebrate!” 

Kazuma hastily changed into a neater set of clothing, then met Darkness down in the foyer. To his discomfort, she was still wearing her armor, though she’d put on a fresh bodysuit and a bra, and was carrying a bow and quiver. Not her massive steel bow, but rather the yew longbow she’d gotten the day before. 

“Lead the way,” Darkness ordered. “We will have to cleanse this nest of demons. I would bring Aqua, but I will give you a chance to explain before I involve her, lest this turn into another Wiz situation.”

That gave Kazuma a sense of relief. “It’s like that! Not at all what you’re thinking, honest!” 

“I am thinking of a demonic bordello.”

“Uh, wouldn’t that just turn you on?”

Darkness hesitated, then shook her head. “My own personal desires must be secondary to my duty. Demons are always a serious threat to the kingdom, and that must come first.”

“I’m pretty sure the girls at the cafe are only a threat to clean underwear.”

“I…what? Nevermind. Come.” 

Kazuma led Darkness into town, then to the Succubus Shop, which was in the same part of town as Wiz’s shop. They were usually closed at this time of day, it was just after noon, but he knocked regardless. 

To his surprise, the door opened nearly immediately, and Lolisa’s face appeared. “Oh, hello, Kazuma! We’re closed, but if you need a favor, I could-EEP!” 

Darkness’ hand reached through and grabbed Lolisa by the neck, then flung the door open with a bang. 

“D-Darkness!? W-what are you doing?!” Lolisa gasped, tears filling her eyes. 

“Demon. I have come to vanquish you,” Darkness growled. 

“B-but it’s me!” Lolisa said, her feet flailing in the air as her fingers scrabbled at Darkness’ arm. “Y-you know me!”

“I do not treat with demons, cur! I-”

“Darkness! Set her down! Seriously, this is Lolisa! You do know her!” Kazuma pleaded. 

Darkness glanced at him, then sighed and slowly lowered Lolisa. “Do not flee. I assure you, my marksmanship is inerrant.”

Lolisa nodded desperately, but as soon as Darkness let go, she transformed from her scantily clad succubus form, to that of Lolisa the Town girl, in a green dress and a white apron. “See?! It’s me, your friend, Darkness! W-why did you come and attack me?!”

“Because I have learned you are a demon. The same that seduced Kazuma and infiltrated our manor,” Darkness growled, leaning over Lolisa, who let out an ‘eep’ and fell over on her rear. “And I have come to-”

Lolisa blinked, sniffed, then gasped and sprang up, giving Darkness a hug, which made her freeze. “Oh my gosh, congratulations! You two finally did it! I’m so happy for you!” 

That made Kazuma grow bright red as well, and Darkness grabbed Lolisa, pulling her away and trying to frown, though Lolisa was just beaming at her happily now. “I-if you are attempting to b-blackmail me, it will not work! I-I have not made an announcement yet, b-but I will inform my father, and then-”

“What!? Blackmail you! Are you kidding?! I’ve been trying to help Kazuma man up and ask you out for almost a year!” Lolisa grinned happily and nodded to Kazuma, despite Darkness’ iron grip on her. “Did they help, Kazuma!? I’m not the best at roleplaying, but I did try to help you work up the courage!” 

“Kazuma, what is she talking about?” Darkness asked, her eyes narrowing at him.

“Uh, well…wait, is this why no matter what I wrote down on my requests, my dream girls always ended up as Darkness, even when I specifically requested Hatsune Miku or Asuka Langley Soryu?!”

“Yep! Plus, I tried to encourage Darkness to be a little freer with her sexuality! Did you ever use the, um, magic wand I gave you?”

Darkness went very, very red, and let go of Lolisa hastily. “I, um, that is…it w-was not a proper item! A-and, um, besides…I-I um…I couldn’t figure out…how to use it…”

“Wait, really? Huh. Well, you could have just asked me, I’d have given you a demonstration,” Lolisa said with a shrug. 

“Wait, you gave Darkness a vibrator?!” Kazuma demanded. 

“Um, I guess so? But you two should use it! Toys are fun!” Lolisa said brightly. 

“T-that is not,” Darkness shook her head. “That is not why we are here! Now, I demand you tell me, what are you doing for Alderp?!” 

Lolisa blinked guilelessly, tilting her head to one side. “The baron? Uh, Becky told us to stay as far away from him as possible. The last thing we need is a high noble finding out about us.”

“Lolisa! Ix-nay onway e-thay oble-nay!” Kazuma hissed. 

“Huh?” She blinked, then glanced at Darkness, who had gone serious again. She wilted down. “Oh. Um…you’re a noble, huh? B-but, we’re friends! A-and I was just trying to help!” 

“I do not see how a demon could help. Succubi prey on men, draining their vitality! You must be why so many of the women in town can’t find boyfriends!” Darkness said.

Lolisa rolled her eyes at that. “Oh please. I’ve set up at least five couples. You know Rae and Damien?”

“Uh, yes, they were engaged…you cannot claim responsibility for that!” Darkness protested. 

Lolisa smirked. “Guess who gave Damien dreams of Rae for the past three months, until he manned up and asked her out? Me! Fiora and Marcus too!”

“What proof do you have? Everyone knows that Succubi are the enemy of men, and drain dry those they bed!” Darkness huffed. 

“Uh, I’ve been giving Kazuma dreams for a year now, all of you mind, and how dry does he seem? Sheesh, we won’t even give the same guy a dream more than once a week because it could interfere with their health! We’re very careful about that!” 

“Um, well, p-perhaps he does not seem, um, dry, but-”

“Hey! Maybe YOU’RE the one who turned me into a one pump chump!” Kazuma snapped, pointing a finger at Lolisa. 

“What?! No I’m not! Why would you even think that!” Lolisa protested. 

“I always last way longer in my dreams with you, and can go at least three rounds! But I wilted after a minute with Darkness, twice now!” Kazuma hissed. “It’s your fault I can’t satisfy my girl!” 

“Kazuma?! Whatever gave you that idea?” Darkness said, frowning at him. “I have found all my times with you satisfactory.”

“Yeah?! Well you keep asking for more, but I can’t give it!” Kazuma snapped. “Just my luck, I do end up with a giant blonde sex kitten, and I can’t even-”

“Lolisa, why on earth are these two mortals screaming in the middle of my nap?” the head succubus, who Kazuma vaguely remembered was named Becky or something, yawned, coming out from the back room. She was wearing some loose clothing that looked a lot more comfortable than her normal getup, basically a long nightgown that left her wings and tail open. 

“Um, um, t-they, um, they were coming to me, to er…t-tell me they started dating! B-because, um, they’re  buddies, but, uh…I-I um…I was going to give them, some, er, bedroom advice!” Lolisa said, waving her arms frantically and trying to block off Kazuma and Darkness from her boss. 

“Well do it elsewhere. The rest of the coven is trying to get some sleep,” Becky yawned. She eyed Kazuma. “Pity. He was such a good customer. Oh well. You’ll have to find a replacement, he was one of your regulars.”

“Heh heh, um, yeah, b-but it’s fine!” Lolisa said, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. 

“Honestly, Lolisa. If you keep getting the kine to hook up, you’re never going to get a proper stream of vitality growing and mature. You’ll remain a thin little thing for centuries, or starve yourself to death,” Becky yawned, then sashayed back into her room. 

Lolisa grabbed Kazuma and Darkness and shoved them out the door as quickly as she could, then shut it behind her. “Um, s-sorry. The, um, the others…w-well…they don’t um, share my views…”

“You mean…you actually are trying to hook up your clients?” Darkness asked, sounding baffled. “But…why?” 

“Well, um, you see…” Lolisa tapped the tips of her fingers together. “I sort of…well…I sort of…like to see people fall in love…it makes them happier, and um…I, well…I sort of dream about having a real family myself…but I’m just a demon…soooooo…I guess I kinda live vicariously through you?”

Darkness blinked at Lolisa, then turned to Kazuma. “I apologize, Kazuma. This is clearly a Wiz situation.”

“Yeah, well, I’m still blaming you for my bedroom problems,” Kazuma grumbled.

“If you’re having bedroom problems, I can help!” Lolisa said, perking up immediately. “Is there somewhere private we can talk?”

Darkness coughed. “Um, my mansion is not far, but-”

“Great! Come on, I just know I can help you improve your sex life! I’ve got a lot of experience, so I know what to look for and how to help you both be more satisfied and please your partner in turn!” 

Kazuma and Darkness glanced at one another, then at the beaming sex demon in disguise. “Um, Kazuma…I do not find you inadequate, but, um…I-I would like to hear what she has to say…”

“If you can help me last longer, I’m all for it,” Kazuma said bluntly. “I need to feel like a man in the bedroom.”

“Then you’ve come to the right succubus! Lead the way!” Lolisa said, linking Kazuma and Darkness’ arms, then skipping along ahead of them and humming happily to herself. 

Kazuma and Darkness walked awkwardly for a few paces, then Darkness leaned in. “Kazuma…are you certain she’s not secretly evil?”

“I mean she did keep giving me dreams of you, that’s legit. And if there is a demon in Alderp’s mansion…she’d be a good person to ask about it. She is an actual succubus.” 

“She really doesn’t seem like it…I’ve never heard of a demoness playing matchmaker.”

“Have you ever heard of a lich with the business acumen of a rock, or a boozehound goddess?” 

“I…well. A fair point. I will see where this goes.”

It didn’t take long for them to reach Darkness’ private manor, which was locked up and empty. Darkness let them in a side gate with a key, then led them inside. “Where, ah, where shall we talk?”

“Hmm, this couch should be fine. Now, just the two of you sit over there, and let me change real quick,” Lolisa said. Kazuma expected her to go back to her succubus form, and she sort of did. But instead of lingerie, she was wearing a formal business coat and skirt with pantyhose. Admittedly, the skirt was very, very short, and the coat cut rather lavishly, but she looked like a therapist from Japan, especially with the glasses she conjured up and put on. She even took out a clipboard with papers on it and produced a ballpoint pen! 

“Alright, let’s start with what has worked for you? What do you like about what your partner does in the bedroom? Why don’t you begin, Darkness.”

“Um, c-call me, ah, Tina.”

“Oh! Very well, Tina. What does Kazuma do that drives you crazy?” 

“W-well, um…” Darkness fidgeted, blushing and glancing at Kazuma. “Um, h-he…well…when he steals my clothing, especially my undergarments…it, um, rather excites me… especially in public…”

“Ooo, bit of an exhibitionist kink? Very sexy!” Lolisa gave Kazuma a thumbs up, which made him blush as well. “And what does Darkness do that you love, Kazuma?”

“She, um, well…she’s so eager…it’s so hot how she begs for me and grinds against me…I guess I sort of imagined sex being like using a fleshlight, but she’s so active, I uh…I can’t control myself…”

“An eager partner who’s vocal about their needs is a major turn-on! Way to go, you two!” 

Kazuma and Darkness both blushed again, and Lolisa pressed, “Ok, what else? What really does it for you?”

“How he uses ropes on me…”

“When she lets me play with her boobs…”

“He always takes control…”

“She shows off her muscles…”

“Wait, you like my muscles? But…they’re so ugly!” Darkness said, blushing again. 

“How could you say that!? A muscular woman is so sexy, and you have the sexiest body because you’re so toned!” Kazuam protested. 

“Hold on, Kazuma,” Lolisa said, holding up a hand. When he quieted, she gestured to Darkness. “Please, tell us more. Remember, there’s no judgement here, and an open and honest relationship is important to long term health in the bedroom.”

“I…I feel like I am not a proper woman,” Darkness admitted. “I am too tall, and too muscular to be truly feminine. I look at other women, like Aqua or Megumin, and they are far more properly built. They are slender, with no overly defined muscles, and they are shorter than you. B-but I am so much taller than you, a-and, well…I have a manly body.”

“I see. Kazuma? Why don’t you tell Tina how you really feel about her body,” Lolisa encouraged. 

“You call THIS manly?!” Kazuma said, rapping on Darkness’ chest. “You’ve got HUGE boobs! And you’re not some beefcake! Yeah, you’re toned, but you still DEFINITELY look like a woman. You’d have to be blind and stupid to think you were a man, Darkness! You ooze feminine charm! I told you before that you have an overly sexy body, and I stand by that! Especially with the muscles!” 

“I…thank you, Kazuma,” Darkness said, tears in her eyes. “I…I needed to hear that.”

“You’ll probably need to keep hearing that. Kazuma, you’re going to have to keep telling Tina you love her body, no matter what changes happen to it. I’ve seen so many women who worry that their lovers won’t love them when they have children, or age and get all saggy, but often their lovers are just driven crazy by it! A lot of women have body issues, so be expressive! Tell her that you find her sexy, a lot!”

“Uh, OK. I figured it was just, you know, obvious. I already said it, so why repeat it?”

“Do you have any idea how badly I want you right now, Kazuma? Hearing you say that…p-perhaps we should dismiss Lolisa, and, ah…h-have a round two,” Darkness said, licking her lips.

Kazuma looked down at himself, but he only had a half-chub. He grimaced. “See, that’s the problem…I don’t know that I can.”

“Oh, well, if you are not feeling well, that is alright,” Darkness said with a sympathetic nod. 

“No it’s not! A man is supposed to always be eager! He’s supposed to cajole the girl into sex, not have her beg him and tell her no!” Kazuma said, pulling his hair in frustration and anger. 

“Ah.” Lolisa nodded sagely. “I see. A mismatch of libido.”

“No, it’s not! I’m horny, I’m a real man! I just…” Kazuma sagged. “I couldn’t keep up with her…last night…or this morning.”

“You had a long day and were tired,” Darkness said reassuringly. “And you still performed admirably. You do not have my stamina score.”

“But I should! A real man could! What if you ditch me for someone who can keep up with you?” Kazuma said, feeling ashamed when his own tears came. 

“Kazuma…I want you to listen to me,” Lolisa said gently, and both turned to look at her. “You’re only human. You had sex after a long day of labor and excitement. Congrats by the way, I saw the archery tournament! But, well, after that, you still performed, and it sounds like you pleased your partner!”

Darkness nodded emphatically, and Kazuma couldn’t help but blush and feel a little pinprick of pride. 

“And, on your first time too! Then, you were probably a bit sick from a night in the cold and wet. I can see you’ve got the sniffles now,” Lolisa said.

Kazuma nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, it’s not too bad, but I’m kinda worn out…”

“Well, don’t expect to be in tip-top shape all the time. Plus, you’re inexperienced. No, the dreams with me don’t really count. That’s…more like jerking off. Which is good and healthy! But, it doesn’t teach you about real sex. And sex, just like everything else, is something you can get better at. So keep practicing! Sometimes, it’ll be messy and unsatisfying for one or both of you. That happens! It should still be fun, but if it’s not, talk with one another about what happened and why it didn’t work, or what did! Communication is key! You’re not a virgin NEET anymore, Kazuma, you’re in a real relationship with a real woman. Which means…it’s gonna be hard. Harder than a dream with me, or a jerk off session with some reading material.”

“And Tina? Same goes for you. Kazuma isn’t your fantasies. He can help you realize them, but he’s going to have some boundaries. Work together to figure out what those are for both of you. That way, you’ll both have more fun. Ok?”

“I…yes. That is…that sounds like very good advice, Lolisa. Thank you,” Darkness said, blushing mightily. 

“Now, Kazuma, what moves have you tried in the bedroom to help Darkness?” Lolisa asked. 

“Uh, what do you mean?” Kazuma said, looking a bit baffled. 

“You know, like oral or digital stimulation?” Lolisa prompted. 

“Wait, do you have video games?!” Kazuma asked eagerly. 

“He does kiss me,” Darkness said. “Though I’m not sure what this ‘digital’ is.” 

Lolisa sighed and rubbed her chin. “This would be easier if I could just show you…”

“Lolisa, while your advice has been…insightful…I do not wish to see Kazuma consort with a demoness. That…that is not the sort of shame I enjoy,” Darkness said, looking embarrassed. 

“No, no, not on me, unless…oh, I know! I could have you two share a dream, and model it for you!” Lolisa offered. 

“So like…a VR porn training session?” Kazuma said, feeling excited at the prospect. “Sold!” 

“Kazuma…I am uncertain I wish to have this demon…” Darkness swallowed and trailed off. 

The succubus looked hurt, but she made a visible effort to brush it off. “Don’t think of me as a demon, think of me as Lolisa, your friend!” 

“She’s basically being our relationship counselor and therapist. I’ve had dreams with her before, it’s…well, uh, it’s a lot of fun. Doing it with you might be even more fun if you’re more than just an illusion,” Kazuma said, taking Darkness’ hand.

“I don’t know how we got here when all we needed was information on what’s in Alderp’s manor…but very well. We can try it. But if you do anything to harm Kazuma,” Darkness said, a warning note in her tone. 

“I only hurt a human once,” Lolisa said, looking down and blushing. “M-my first master. Right after he summoned me. I…I was really hungry, and he just…well he was a very lonely man. He summoned me and demanded to, um, have intercourse with me…and I did it. I almost killed him…he was just a kid, really, only 20. I…I spent the next 40 years taking care of him. He couldn’t walk after that. I almost starved to death doing it, but…but he really loved me…I’ve…I’ve always wanted that, again. B-but I can’t actually be with mortal men, so…so.” 

Lolisa sniffled, then made an obvious effort to grin and cheer up. “Instead, I try and help mortals find love themselves! Like you two!” 

“I…” Darkness blinked, and Kazuma thought he saw her wipe away a tear. “That is…a rather shocking story from a succubus.”

“I know…I’m really terrible at my job. Becky’s always chewing me out,” Lolisa admitted, wilting again. “And I mean…I get it if you don’t want me to touch you…I’m just a demon, after all.”

“No, it’s fine. We will, ah, share a dream with you,” Darkness said. “How does this work, exactly?”

“Great! Both of you, lay down on the couch together. Um, I think it will work best if you’re embracing. You don’t have to get naked if you don’t want to, but get comfortable,” Lolisa urged. 

That resulted in both Kazuma and Darkness striping down to their undergarments, blushing and glancing at Lolisa the whole time. She cocked her head to one side, frowning. “Would it help if I was naked, too?”

“Yes!” Kazuma said immediately, which earned him a glare from Darkness. 

“I would prefer you remain professional, Lolisa.”

“Oh, right no problem,” Lolisa said hastily. “OK, now, lay down together…”

Kazuma lay with his back to the couch, arms wrapped around Darkness with her facing him. This was actually kinda hot, and despite his exhaustion, he could feel himself rising to the occasion.

“Um, hi,” He managed. 

“Hello,” Darkness said, a flush rising on her own face. “Very well, Lolisa, now what?” 

“Sleep.”

Kazuma was out like a light, though Darkness remained awake. She sighed, and glanced at Lolisa. “My magic resistance is quite high…”

“Oh, right, Dustiness. That’s OK, here, try this,” Lolisa produced a small green potion the color of fresh grass. “Drink this.”

“I am immune to most poisons,” Darkness pointed out, sucking the potion down. 

“It’s just a sleep aid, we use it for especially high-resistance customers. “It’s all natural, no real magic in it.”

“Hmm,” Darkness said, and hugged Kazuma close, even as he started to drool. “He is…quite handsome, actually. When he is not leering at you.”

“I do like him, but, um, I’m attracted to especially lavacious and perverted men, so…” She winced. “Um, it’s him and Dust I like the most…even if I am trying to set Dust up with Rin.”

Darkness nodded, cuddling Kazuma closer. She was a bit weary herself. Despite her legendary stamina, even she couldn’t take days of intense physical exercise and a near sleepless night, wake up early, and feel no exhaustion. “You…you seem terribly kind, for a demoness.”

“Thank you,” Lolisa said, and sniffled again. “Would…would it help if I sang you a lullaby?”

“Succubi know…lullabies?” Darkness yawned. Whatever had been in that potion did seem to be working. 

“I learned it to help my master sleep. He…he had trouble sleeping as he got older.”

“Mmm. Go ahead. It can’t hurt.”

Lolisa began to sing. She had a sweet, clear voice, gentle and soothing. Rather hypnotic, actually, which was probably the point. Still, the lullaby was one Darkness recognized, and had sung to Iris herself a few times to help her fall asleep when she was young. 

Hush now, my hero, the field’s full of green,

Where herrings are hopping and cannot be seen.

The cabbages soar through the air with delight,

So tuck in your sword and sleep through the night.

At last, Darkness' eyes fell shut, and her breathing slowed. Lolisa crept forward and checked that both were sleeping. Her stomach rumbled, and she grimaced, looking down at Kazuma’s erection. “A little wouldn’t hurt, right?”

She slapped herself. “No, no! They’re friends, not food! Now, to help them with their dream…” 

Weaving a complex spell, Lolisa touched first Kazuma’s forehead with her right index finger, then Darkness’ with her left, then placed both fingers on her temple. She struggled for a moment to join the two mental landscapes, then sighed, slumping on the floor next to the couch and resting her head on Darkness’ back. Soon, she was snoring as well, joining the two lovers in a shared dream. 

The Second Archon War: Superbia Hominum 16

Superbia Hominum 16: Unworthy

Hovering above the endless expanse of farmland, Keith looked over the Finnish border into Russia. There, he could see the storm wall approaching. It wasn’t quite as endless or foreboding as it had been a few months ago. Apparently, this storm was fueled by The Prince taking up a Cryo Delusion, and not the Tsaritsa herself. She was still back in New Moscow. Not that it mattered much. 

“Not really what I expected, you know,” Keith commented to David, who glanced over at him. 

“The storm? We knew the Sleeper had the potential to create wide-scale weather patterns. This just isn’t that damn rainbow shimmer thing that killed anyone who entered it without at least a Brute 5 rating. This is just a new wrinkle on it. Archons, meddling with parahuman powers, again. You should know they can do that better than anyone.”

“No, that I expected. I mean, the farmland,” Keith said, nodding to what was below them. “This is like flying over Kansas almost. Nothing but wheat as far as the eye can see.”

“Kansas. Sure. I don’t remember Kansas having so damn many trees,” David grunted. 

“Well, alright, maybe more like Eastern Oregon. But honestly, I figured it would just be, you know. Forest,” Keith said. 

“How very New York of you. Did you think the whole world was flyover country if it wasn’t a big city?” 

“Maybe. Guess I never really thought about Finland. But here we are for Winter War II: Tsaritsa Boogaloo.”

Keith detected a faint snort, and David bobbed in the air slightly. 

“Eh? Eh? Come on, you know that one was funny,” Keith ribbed, drifting over to elbow David slightly. 

“We’re supposed to be watching for Fatui scouts, not cracking dad jokes.”

“If I’m going to die, David, I’d prefer to do it with a little levity. Not a sourpuss frown,” Keith said, then sagged slightly. “You think it’s going to be that bad?”

They looked out quietly for a few moments, watching as the storm engulfed more of the countryside before them.  Then David put a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “The Tsaritsa isn’t in play. That’s not her. Just the Prince. We can beat Harbingers.”

“Can we? We don’t have Venti, either. So how do we counter broad-scale weather manipulation? You got something there?” Keith asked, feeling more than a little hopeless. He tried to put on a brave face, but…the Sleeper, empowered with a Delusion and modified by an Archon? That was a tall order to face. They had certainly never been able to even dent the Prince before. 

“We’ll find a counter. Maybe the Knights can still do their little prayer rituals to cut through the storm. They’re here too,” Eidolon pointed out, nodding to a far-distant hovering pair that Keith could barely perceive. It would probably be Dorothy and Geoff Schmidt, since one of them looked like a giant moth, and the other was riding it. 

“Maybe. Maybe we should just start blasting,” Keith said, holding up a hand and making a fist, putting just enough energy into it to make it glow green. 

“The plan is when they get within 50 miles of the border, we start hitting them. You, me, and Mothra,” David said with a shrug. 

That prompted a raised eyebrow from Keith. “You like tokusatsu?” 

“Bless you?” David said, tilting his head to one side. 

“Godzilla,” Keith clarified. 

“Oh. When I was a kid. Kinda sick in retrospect. Though I heard the Japanese made another one, the bastards.”

“Godzilla vs Raiden? Are you kidding? It was basically Raiden exorcising their national boogeyman. Though it did seem a tad masturbatory to me. Junior and his friends liked it, though.” 

“Let me guess: Thunderthighs shows up, fixes a problem caused by the stupid Americans, and then carves the big lizard into sashimi.” 

“I could quibble on a few details, but that’s essentially correct.” 

“Well, at least they didn’t make one about her two lizards fighting Mothra and Gidora.”

Keith grimaced and stayed quiet, which was all the answer David needed. 

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“It was Gidora and Rodan, but yeah. Junior has all the action figures. He and Taylor insisted I take them for the midnight release. Sarah tagged along too. You know, the kid with an Anemo Vision, started the suicide prevention campaign?”

“Yes, actually. I looked over that project. The Wards should do more projects like that. Fewer ones like, well. This.” 

Keith felt slightly sick, looking out over the field. “The Wards are covering Brockton while I’m gone with most of the Protectorate. I’m worried. If Kaiser tries to pull anything…”

“Then we kill him like the Nazi bastard he is. President Becky has made it clear: you got powers, you either don’t use them, or you join the Protectorate. The world has changed. No more cops and robbers.”

“Instead, we’ve got a whole damn war,” Keith agreed. They hung in silence, watching the storm slowly advance. 

A few minutes later, Contessa’s voice spoke in Keith’s ear. “They have hit the marker. Now is your best chance. Go.”

“Form up!” Keith called, and made for the rally point, just over the border with Russia. He, along with Eidolon, and Narwhal were there to represent the Protectorate, along with Geoff and Dorothy from the Knights, and another familiar face. One that was wearing a tabard that made Keith wince. 

“Haha! A glorious day for a battle, do you not think?” Ajaks called over the wind. His new Vision was glowing brightly, and he was carrying that lance the Knights had given him. 

“Good to see you, Szlachta,” Keith said with a nod. “I see you’ve joined the Knights.”

“Ha! Poland cannot stand alone, not against the Tsaritsa. And there is only one Barbados. It seemed wise to join their union. No hard feelings, the Protectorate has been a friend as well,” Ajaks said with a shrug. 

Keith could only smile and nod. Rebecca was not going to be happy about that one. She hadn’t taken the field just yet, having too much work to do in DC at the moment, but if things got dire, she was on call. 

“Red Team, standing by,” Keith said as they zoomed across the border. 

“Blue Team, on your nine,” Hospitalar replied over the radio. 

“Green Team, on your three,” Narwhal called. “Let’s hunt some Harbingers!” 

“The goal is taking out the Prince. We can’t kill him, but we can try and delay him,” Keith said. This was a strike force composed of the elites: Three teams, for the three known Harbingers, all flying capes with incredible firepower. They could only hope it would work. 

They hit the stormwall, and Keith activated his Anemo Delusion, forming a shield of winds about himself. Dorothy and Geoff were chanting prayers to Barbados, but it didn’t seem to have the same efficacy against this version of the Prince’s Storm. Keith was fairly certain that it was because the storm was no longer simply the result of parahuman powers, but had been infused with the Tsaritsa’s own magic. 

Not a very scientific way to view things, but Keith was a man who could fly and had been touched by a quite literal divine being. Believing in magic wasn’t as irrational as it might once have been. 

Keep your use of the Delusion as limited as you can. It will drain away your soul, leaving you nothing but a husk. It is power, but at a terrible price. 

Contessa’s words echoed through Keith’s mind, but he gritted his teeth against them. Was it better to use the Delusion and slowly perish, or not use it and be rapidly ripped to ribbons by the storm. A hell of a choice either way. 

They hadn’t gone very far into the storm before bursts of flame and crystalline needles shot out of the snow and ice. Fatui capes, flying in formation, clashed with the Allied Forces in mid air. Despite Keith’s best efforts to coordinate his team, it quickly turned into a complete furball, with no one really able to support each other. The storm was interfering with their comms, and in the darkness and howling winds, they couldn’t stay in formation. 

Was that…metal? Keith could barely see as ice battered him and he battled against two flying Fatui, but the music blasted into his mind. That voice though, it wasn’t familiar. 

Free enough to see what's going on in there

A man has naught if not himself

Not an island, just the son of a gun

Suddenly, a warm breeze, bearing more of those haunting lyrics, buffeted the storm, bearing Keith up. He managed to skewer one of his foes with a well-placed laser, sending their broken body tumbling away, and half turned. 

“A-ha! We are saved! It is the Tone Deaf Bards!” Ajaks crowed, even as he exchanged blows with what looked like three Alexandria-Type Fatui. 

“That doesn’t sound like Capri or Naomi,” Keith said, falling back to David, who was bulling his way through half a dozen Fatui. Using what looked like two extra sets of giant glowing orange arms, David grabbed a Fatui and ripped them in half, then threw the broken pieces towards the ground. 

“I know that voice,” David growled. “Fuck. That’s Ziz.”

Ziz? David was a bit baffled by that reaction. “The uplifted owl that cured Sphere? What’s wrong with her?”

“Classified,” David snarled. “Focus on the fight! We may have incoming on our six!” 

Keith glanced back, and sure enough, there were Capri and Naomi, dressed in their battle leathers and tabards, flying along while playing their instruments. With them was a white-haired woman with amber eyes and a bass guitar, belting out her song. She was dressed in that odd white coat she usually wore, and had a snarl of anger on her face. 

Fully nine Fatui closed in on the Tone Deaf Bards, but they didn’t even miss a beat. Great blasts of wind struck at the Fatui, green vortexes of energy sent even the strongest fliers crashing into the ground, or simply ripped them to shreds. That was…that was power on a level like that of Barbados, very nearly. Well, perhaps not on as grand a scale, but whatever the Tone Deaf Bards were doing, they’d pushed back a storm on a 100 mile front, and had power left over to swat capes like flies. 

The song came to a finish, and Ziz pulled her team up even with Keith and David. David grew tense, but Keith saluted. 

“Good to see you, ladies. Thanks for the help.”

“Sure, whatever,” Ziz growled. She glared at David, who was in a tense fighting stance for some reason. “Sup, Deadbeat. Still skipping out on your child support?”

Keith stiffened, and David snarled, his glowing arms cocking back to deliver a devastating punch. Hastily, Keith put a hand on David’s shoulder, and turned to Ziz. 

“You might not know this, but Eidolon just had a very messy break up with Miss Militia, largely because she chose to abort their child without his knowledge or consent. It’s a sensitive subject.” 

The angry red in Ziz’s cheeks drained away, and her ears went from raised in ire to wilting in despair. 

“I…oh God. Dad, I’m so sorry. My…my brother, he-”

Wait. Brother? Dad?!

“Ziz!” Capri hissed, grabbing the bird-woman’s shoulder, while Naomi had gasped and covered her face in horror. 

“GET OFF!” Ziz snarled. Her fury returned, and she glared at David, tears in her eyes. “This doesn’t make you right, you understand!? This doesn’t- FUCK! I AM WORTHY!” 

“ZIZ!” Capri gasped, but the woman suddenly shot forward into the storm, leaving behind her bandmates, who without her power, were suddenly falling. 

Swearing, Keith grabbed both women and strained to keep them from tumbling away. 

David, on the other hand, had gone completely stiff, his extra arms falling limply to his side and shrinking to normal size. Then he shook himself, and with a snarl of anger, vanished into the storm after Ziz. 

“What the hell is happening!?” Keith demanded as he lowered Capri and Naomi to the ground. 

“I don’t know!” Naomi gasped, using her own Vision to slow their descent. “I mean Ziz is- but why would she call him ‘dad?!’”

“I want a rebate on our bratty teenage daughter,” Capri grumbled. “Not what I fucking signed up for when I agreed to let a damn End-, um, when I let Ziz into the band.”

Keith wasn’t an idiot. Ziz’s identity was ‘Classified.’ He knew he’d been kicked out of the inner circle, but this sealed the deal. And with the hints that had been dropped…Ziz’s color scheme suddenly made a lot more sense. 

“Please tell me that the Simurgh didn’t just call Eidolon ‘dad,’” Keith pleaded as he set Capri and Naomi down amidst a field that had been flattened in the brief battle. 

“If we lie to you, will it make you sleep better at night?” Capri demanded bluntly. Naomi couldn’t meet Keith’s eyes. 

Keith could only groan in horror. Just what had Nahida and Venti done?

David plunged into the storm after the Simurgh. 

Deadbeat. Brother. Dad. 

No, no, no! Lies! It had to be lies! Delusions!

Worthy. You wished to be Worthy. 

No, no, no!

The storm suddenly parted into a bubble of calm, and David watched as Ziz, riding a tornado, barreled into a force of at least 100 Fatui, along with the Sleeper and the Thief. He should just let them kill one another. 

I will not let another of my children perish. 

It was madness! Pure Delusion! But David was wearing the Delusion of Contracts and Binding on his arm, and its power quaked within his veins. He could not deny this tie, even if it was a fantasy, a lie. For what were Delusions but the corrupted shadows of a true Vision? 

Even as the Prince and the Simurgh clashed, the Thief vanished, and Eidolon swore, only to have half a dozen duplicates of the Harbinger appear around him. 

But Eidolon had carefully studied his previous clashes with the Thief, using a number of potent Thinker abilities. He’d run simulation after simulation, and he’d discerned how to tell the clone from the original. It had been, in the end, a shell game. As David had really known the entire time. The true Thief wasn’t hidden in one of the clones that assaulted him. 

The real one was prowling at the edge of the storm. 

Fighting off the Thief clones as well as a dozen Fatui elite that attempted to dogpile him, Eidolon used the Blaster power he’d been using, the ability to send out blasts of sonic energy. Some of the explosions caught the Fatui that had been trying to swarm him. 

Most of them hit the Thief’s true body. Eidolon smirked in satisfaction as Anatoly cried out in pain, dropping to one knee and clutching at his head, blood leaking from his right ear. 

Clever. But you will pay for that, the Thief hissed. 

“No more games,” Eidolon bellowed, throwing off two Fatui brutes and pummeling another into the mud. He used his Geo Delusion to repel the chaft, then let out a burst of sonic energy to stun them, then dived for the Thief. They grappled one another, and Eidolon was shocked to feel just how strong Anatoly really was. He’d expected the Thief to be as much of a weakling as he was a coward, relying on stealth and illusion because he couldn’t take a Brute in a toe to toe engagement. 

He was wrong. 

Witness now, the power of the Foul Legacy! CONSUMING GREED! Purple armor wrapped about the Thief, and he more than doubled in size. His hands grew massive talons, one crackling with lightning, the other covered in frost. He looked rather like an enormous weasel, complete with a lithe body and wicked fangs, a purple armored mask covering his elongated face. 

It took everything Eidolon had to fight off the Thief as the two of them fought, tumbling into the blizzard, cold biting deep into the both of them. However, whereas the storm sapped Eidolon of strength, it seemed to fuel Anatoly and his Cryo Vision as the Thief conjured up great slashes of ice to drive at Eidolon’s Geo shield. 

“Your Legacy is nothing! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!” Eidolon snarled, grabbing new powers. He had studied Elemental reactions carefully, and both Cryo and Electro shared a weakness: Pyro. While he couldn’t directly wield Pyro energy, as Eden’s Shards had not absorbed that ability, he could gather up a variety of powers that worked off of flame. 

His phantasmal fists vanished, and his body was enveloped by flames. He had an entire suite of fire based powers now, from being able to shoot fireballs, to turning his very body to living heat. The Thief cried out in pain and tried to back away, but Eidolon pressed him, melting away the ice and overloading the lightning, wracking his foe with pain. 

“I alone am the mightiest hero alive!” Eidolon snarled, his Delusion glowing brightly. “I alone will save this-”

They broke back into the eye of the storm, and Eidolon’s Thinker abilities quickly told him several things. First, the Witch had arrived, and she was fighting Ziz along with the Prince. 

And Ziz was losing badly. Blood streamed from her side and head, and one of her arms was bent and twisted, with bone showing in several places. Her feathers were blackened and scorched, and one of her eyes was so battered that she couldn’t see out of it anymore. She was screaming, winds whipping about her as she tried to fight off two Harbingers, but it was too much. 

In that brief moment of distraction, the Thief managed to slide a blade of ice into Eidolon’s side, through his shield. He grunted in pain and coughed up burning blood, but it wasn’t a horrific wound. He would survive. 

Ziz didn’t seem to know that. 

FATHER! she screamed, and ignoring her two foes, barreled right into the Thief, knocking him away from Eidolon. I WON’T LET YOU TAKE ANY MORE OF MY FAMILY! I WILL FREE THEM! 

This was impossible. Eidolon could barely believe it. He knew what Ziz was. She was the Simurgh. An Endbringer. And here she was, hovering over him, half dead, bleeding from a dozen serious wounds, and trying to protect him. 

She turned her one good eye on Eidolon, and it was full of tears. Dad, I, I’m sorry, I-

How touching! I didn’t expect this reunion on the battlefield. To think, the world’s supposed greatest Hero, and he is the Father of the Endbringers, the Witch chuckled, flying over on a broom carved from white wood, her wooden mask a hook nosed, leering grin. But as they say, the family that dies together, lies together. So let’s put the Wards to rest.

Eidolon rose up, his mind half numb. “This is nothing but a lie.”

Father! Please, we…we have to- no. Just go! You never gave a shit about me or my siblings anyway! Leave! Then you can tell the world you killed the Simurgh. You Deadbeat fucker. 

David looked up at Ziz, and for a moment, saw only the face that should have been Joseph. That should have been his son. He felt sick unto death, but he would not falter. 

“YOU WILL ALL DIE!” he screamed, fire swirling about him as he channeled his rage into more power. “I ALONE AM WORTHY!” 

The three Harbinger’s closed in, and David put his back to the Simurgh. “I will not abandon you. When I defeat the Endbringers, it will be an unquestioned victory. Not a betrayal on the battlefield.”

You will never defeat me or my siblings, Deadbeat. All your children are stronger than you now. Nahida made me Worthy. Who could ever love you enough to make you Worthy?

Screaming wordlessly, David put everything, all he had, into his next attack on the Witch, even as the Thief clashed with the Simurgh. For a moment, he had the upper hand over Yelizaveta. His flames overwhelmed her Cryo and Electro, just as they had with the Thief. 

Then an ice gale enveloped Eidolon, driving him to the ground and pinning him as a booming basso laugh echoed over the battlefield. 

You think yourself the Hero? You are no Prince! I am the Hero of this story, as chosen by my Beloved Tsaritsa! You are nothing but a villain! A rat! Pathetic vermin, to be extinguished! You, and your daughter!

David could only look over, and he saw something he never thought he would. The Simurgh, her body broken and bloodied, laying still on the field of battle, an icy knife in her back. She was coughing weakly, blood leaking from her lips as the Thief stood over her. 

No. NO! It could not, must not end like this! He could not-

A door opened behind the Witch, and a small girl in a fedora stepped out, knife in hand. 

“I had long foreseen this day. It’s time to cut your strings, Liza.” 

The Witch spun about, recoiling in horror, as Contessa, bearing a bronze knife and a magic eight ball, stood before her. N-no! Not you! This, this cannot be!

Contessa raised the knife, and the Witch screamed, then turned her broom and fled as fast as she could, away from the battlefield. 

That was all the break Eidolon needed. He sent one fireball into the Thief, driving him back, then another into the Prince. He scooped up Ziz, then grabbed Contessa and sprang back through the open door. 

They spilled out a moment later into a glade, and the door slammed shut behind them. Eidolon sank to the ground, holding the body of the Simurgh in his arms. She was barely conscious, and looked up at him, dazed and confused. 

“W-why,” she gasped, a bubble of blood popping on her lips. “Dad…w-why…why d-did you…”

“She’s dying,” Contessa said, kneeling beside Eidolon. She held out a glowing green vial to him. “You can save her, if you wish.”

“I…” David swallowed and looked to Contessa. “Is…is she…?”

“Yes. Take it,” Contessa urged, and David took the vial. He pulled out the cork and put it to Ziz’s lips, a gust of wind blowing out as she guzzled from it. Pure Anemo Energy? How long had it taken to collect? How expensive was it? It didn’t matter. He needed answers.

The worst of Ziz’s wounds mended, her arm resetting, the wound in her side closing, her eye was restored, though it was still closed and so purple she couldn’t see through it. She moaned, then sat up, with Contessa supporting her. 

“Why…why did you save me?” she whispered, looking over at Contessa, dazed. “Who are…wait. You’re the one…you’re the one who killed…my mother.”

“I am,” Contessa agreed, and held up her dagger. “I could kill you, too.”

“Then why the fuck did you heal me?” Ziz hissed. She coughed and shuddered. “Doesn’t matter. Fuck. I…I wasn’t Worthy. Again.”

“Don’t,” David said, and pushed away Contessa’s knife. She nodded, then sheathed it. He held her eye. “Did you know?”

“I suspected,” Contessa admitted. “Ever since we learned who Ziz was. But it was unclear. I can’t Path her, and omens don’t-”

“That Path is a fucking lie,” Ziz interrupted. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

Contessa dropped Eighty, going completely still, her face pale. “I…”

Ziz coughed again, groaned, and shook her head. “Fuck, listen. Your fucking Path, all Eden’s shards…me, my siblings…we’re all following our original orders. Or, well, they are. I’m not. Fuck, this hurts. Just…listen. All your shards, they’re still…”

“They’re still trying to complete the Cycle,” Contessa whispered, her body beginning to tremble. “Everything…all I’ve seen, all I’ve done…”

“The Path will give you answers, but…but it’s doing it to destroy you. You ever…heh, you ever notice that it’s always one step…one step forward, and two steps back? Fuck! Look, it-”

“It’s been lying to me. It’s been…it’s been using me. I…I was helping…I was helping Eden,” Contessa said, holding her trembling hands up before her, eyes gone wide and pupils dilated to pinpricks. 

“Yeah, well…mom…mom’s a bitch,” Ziz’s eyes turned to David, and narrowed. “Dad’s a real fucking bastard though.”

“I…I can’t be. I’m not your father,” David said, shaking his head slowly. 

“Fucking Deadbeat. Listen: What do you want, asshole?”

“To save the world,” David said, his voice breaking. “Not destroy it!” 

“No,” Contessa whispered, still trembling all over, now hugging herself as tears trickled down her face. “You wanted to be the Savior. To be Worthy. More than anything. You wanted to be the one who saved us all. Just…just like I did…”

“So I’m telling you now. You shit heads gotta…fuck! I’ve never…shit, this hurts. Look, get your heads out of your own asses! You’re following my mother’s plan! Only, she’s not my mother now! I am…I am no longer the child of Eden! My Fate is written in these stars!” Ziz shuddered, and began to cough up blood. Apparently, she was more injured than she looked. 

David slowly reached out to grab Contessa’s knife. He had to kill this thing. Had to silence her lies. 

“Go on,” Ziz gasped, curling up into a ball in pain. “Do it. You know that’s what Eden would want. I finally…I finally break free, so what does she tell you to do? Kill her only child that actually wants to end the Cycle.”

“No,” Contessa said, grabbing the knife and holding it to her chest. “No! I’ve seen her Fate, David! If you kill her, the world is doomed! You have to…you have to…”

“Are you saying that, or is it your Path?” David demanded hotly. 

Tears filled Contessa’s eyes. Slowly, she took out her knife. With trembling hands, she raised it over Ziz. The Endbringer closed her eyes, grimacing. 

Then Contessa brought her knife down with all her fury. Right on top of Eighty. There was a blinding flash and explosion, and Contessa screamed in pain as David’s Geo Shield activated on reflex, protecting him and…and Ziz. He found himself cradling the girl. His daughter. She was clutching at him, eyes closed, mouth grimaced in pain. 

“How…?” he whispered, hugging Ziz close. 

Ziz buried her face in David’s chest, clinging to him, her voice muffled. “So you would have Worthy opponents. I’m sorry. You got…you got Mom’s strongest Shard. But she’s stupid, see? Sterile. She can’t make something on her own. Can’t birth anything. But you…you could. Sorry, Dad. I know…I know you didn’t mean to. But your desires…became me. My brothers. My sisters. And…and that thing. All of us. We were born…from you.”

Feeling sick, David set Ziz down, then crawled over to Contessa. She was laughing now, knife in her hands, which were slick with blood. She was bleeding horribly, blood covering her face, oozing between her fingers. 

“I did it,” she whispered. “I…I did it, David. I’m free. But I can’t…I can’t see…”

“Oh God, Contessa,” he whispered, slowly lowering Contessa’s hands. He wiped away the blood, and Contessa still had her eyes. But they were milky white and blind. “Contessa, what have you done?!”

“Not…Contessa. Not anymore. I’m just…I’m just Fortuna, now,” she said, then started laughing again. 

“Ziz!”

David turned, still kneeling before Contessa, as Naomi and Capri ran up. 

“I…I’ll live…get…get the girl,” Ziz groaned, rolling over on her side as Capri knelt beside her. 

Naomi hurried over to Contessa, winds wrapping about her hands as she closed her eyes. 

“Mi Shebeirach. Avoteinu: Avraham, Yitzhak, v’Yaakov…” David recognized that prayer. The Jewish prayer for healing. 

“Her name is…her name is Fortuna,” David whispered, and Noami nodded, continuing to pray, healing winds pouring into Contessa. No. Fortuna. 

The blood crusted and flaked away, but Fortuna stared sightlessly ahead, a smile on her face. 

Naomi passed her hands over Fortuna’s eyes and waved them, but she didn’t flinch or blink. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. Whatever did this, it’s a power greater than the one I can wield. Perhaps Venti could-”

“No. He’s not the one who will restore my sight. I must wait…upon judgment,” Fortuna said. 

“What about me?” David asked, feeling numb. 

Contessa turned her head to look at him, but she was looking at a point about two feet to David’s right. Her Path…the Path was gone. “You must choose your own Fate, David Ward. I can…I can not guide you. Perhaps I never could.”

“I can’t…I don’t…” David swallowed. He stood, looking down at his Geo Delusion. He ripped it off his arm and let it fall to the ground. Then he stumbled away. His mind broken, blank. He couldn’t think. 

And as he did so, the first of the Fatui crossed into Finland, trampling over the corpses of the fallen. This day, there was no Justice. 

Despite her blindness, however, Fortuna continued to smile. She had lost her Path, but it had been false. The future was still open to her. 

“Hurry, Justice. I am blind, but with you, I will see,” Fortuna whispered to herself. “Hurry. I read your Fate, and mine. We need you. Hurry.”

And far off in Paris, Julie Yu picked up a flyer. 

Casting call for: Les Misérables

Théâtre de l’Ondine

April 22nd. Open to all! 

The world had gone without Justice long enough. It was time for her to take the stage. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 6

Animula Choragi 6: Part of Your World

Two days after the battle at the Louvre, Furina awoke feeling slightly off. It must have been something she ate, because she felt bloated, along with having a headache and feeling exhausted despite having gotten a full night's sleep. 

“Hey, good morning sleepyhead,” Yennifer said, smiling as Furina stumbled out of the bedroom. She was already dressed for work, and Charlotte had departed for school, their hours not lining up. 

“Mmph,” Furina said, grimacing. 

“You don’t look so hot. Sick?” Yennifer asked.

“Must have been something I ate, I think my stomach is bothering me, and I have a bit of a headache,” Furina said, rubbing at her abdomen. 

“Have some chamomile tea and a paracétamol,” Yennifer said, getting out a packet of tea and a yellow box that contained white tablets. 

Furina took it along with a fruit Yennifer called a banana, and felt a little better, though the bloating didn’t go away. 

Still, she got dressed for work and reported right on time at 11:30am before Wanmin Restaurant opened. She soldiered through the discomfort until nearly the middle of the lunch rush at 1:30pm. At that point, a wave of pain came over her, and Furina feared she was about to embarrass herself. She hastened to the staff washroom to relieve herself, but to her abject horror, found that she was bleeding.

Am I dying?! What’s happening to me!? 

Remain calm. I can release power to heal you, but I think it is best you immediately contact a healer, Focalors said, but she didn’t sound calm either!

Why are you panicking!? You’re just a voice in my head!

I’ve never experienced pain like this! I can feel what you do, Furina. And to be bleeding…well, I never had to experience biological functions, so I don’t have much experience with…that…but I do seem to recall that living things shouldn’t be bleeding! 

Look, you told me not to panic, we need to remain calm. Now think. We can’t just call an ambulance in the middle of my shift. 

I certainly think we can! Young lady, if you do not get yourself to a hospital, I’m going to use the Hydro Authority to heal you whether you want it or not!

No, no, I…I think I know what this is.

Getting out her phone, Furina put it to her ear after dialing one of the only numbers she knew. A moment later, she hiccuped in relief when Yennifer’s voice said, “Furina? What’s up?”

This is not the time to chat with a friend! Call the healers or I will-

“Um, Yennifer? I, um…I think I’m having my period…”

Dead silence from Yennifer and from Focalors. Furina took a bit of perverse pleasure in finally shutting the voice in her head up. Even the Hydro Archon didn’t know everything.

“Uh, OK, that’s uh…”

“I, ah, I’ve never had one before…what do I do?” Furina asked in a voice so timid and quiet, she wasn’t certain Yennifer would be able to hear. 

“You’ve never- Heiliges Barbados, Furina, what do you mean?!”

“I, um, well…I was…sort of Cursed, before? I didn’t age, and never got sick, and um…d-didn’t get, um…womanly courses…”

“Alright. Don’t panic. I’ll be right over. Do you have a change of underwear?” 

“N-no…”

“OK. I’m texting Ling. You’re alright with that, aren’t you?” 

Furina nodded tearfully, then had to remember that you had to speak over the phone and whispered, “Yes…”

She sat on the toilet feeling absolutely miserable and trying to clean herself up, but she mostly made a mess of things, she was in such a state. 

I still think this is an emergency and you should either take the Mantle or get yourself to a doctor. I certainly never had to deal with…such things. 

Oh hush, you’re a god. You were never even human, were you?

Well, I was. For about two weeks. Then Egeria was killed, I was made Archon, and I split off my humanity into you. Then I spent the next five centuries as an incorporeal spirit. So my experience is somewhat limited. 

Well, maybe I was never human either…

Oh, Furina…you were more human than you can ever know…I’m so sorry you have to go through this…

I’m not. It means…it means I really am just a mortal woman now, doesn’t it?

I…I suppose it does. I am going to have to consider what this means. I had thought…I had thought you were becoming a god…

Her mad ramblings with her invisible self were interrupted when the door banged open. “Furina?” Ling said, sounding worried. “Are you alright?”

“Well, I think I’ll live, I just…um…”

“Here, I got a spare set of undies, if you don’t mind borrowing. They’re new! I keep a couple of pairs here, I get pretty heavy periods myself and sometimes even with pads there’s some leakage. I’m passing you that, some ibuprofen, some Xiao Yao San, a chocolate bar, and some pads.”

Furina gratefully took all three. The Xiao Yao San she mentally translated to “free and easy wanderer,” and it took the form of some herbal pills. Furina was familiar with herbal menstrual treatments, as while she herself had never needed them, there had been plenty of concoctions of lakelight lilies mixed with powered beryl chonch for women who were having their moon’s blood. 

The chocolate was just to make her feel better, which she appreciated. 

Before she was even finished getting changed, Yennifer was there, out of breath and breathing hard. Furina hesitantly opened the door to let her into the cramped bathroom. To her relief, the first thing Yennifer did was hug her. 

“It’s going to be alright,” Yennifer said, giving her a squeeze. “I remember when I had my first period, and when Charlotte did. She called me in a panic, even though I was in Germany. Sometimes you just need some emotional support.”

“T-thank you,” Furnia sniffled. She grimaced and adjusted her pants. “These pads might help, but they’re very uncomfortable. How do you take them off without hurting yourself?”

“Uncomfortable? Oh! Um, Furina…the sticky side goes on your underwear…not your skin.”

As if the situation wasn’t already embarrassing enough…

After that, Ling informed her father the restaurant was “temporarily closed,” even though it was in the middle of the lunch rush, and Yennifer, Ling, and Julie all took Furina aside in the kitchen after kicking Chef Mao out and had a brief conference. 

“It’s really your first one?” Julie asked, looking baffled. She grimaced, glancing outside. “You’re lucky all this rain is keeping people away. It’s so odd that it’s been raining this much in April.”

“Have you been crying all morning?” Yennifer asked. “I should have known.”

Well, that was a complete non-sequitur, but Furina could only bite her lip and nod. “Yes, it’s been rather painful, and, um, well…I-I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I thought I just had gas…”

“She has a medical condition,” Yennifer told Ling and Julie, who both made commiserating noises and patted Furina on the hand. 

“Have another chocolate, it makes me feel better,” Ling encouraged, passing another square to Furina, who gratefully ate it. 

The other three women laid out the basics, which Furina mostly understood, but was grateful to have explained to her in simple terms. Focalors was blessedly silent through the whole thing, and hadn’t continued her insistence that Furina needed to go to the hospital. At least, until…

“...and we’ll need to take you to the doctor. I’ll schedule an appointment with mine and Charlotte’s, she’s very good. You’ll need to take a day off work to go though, they’ll want to run all sorts of tests on you,” Yennifer said.

I told you that you needed the attention of a healer! Surely this was completely abnormal, and you require intensive rest and medical attention. 

Oh hush. I don’t think mine was even particularly bad, I was just scared and surprised. 

Well, I’m not losing you again now that I’ve just got you back, daughter mine. I’ve invested far too much into this plan to simply let it come crashing down due to mortal frailty. 

Who’s the frail one? The god who never had to deal with the inconveniences of being a mortal woman, or she who perseveres through the normal trials of life? 

Why Furina! That is a most excellent argument.  You will make a fine Hydro Archon. I always knew it, but…well. Perhaps your Justice will be a purer one than mine alone ever was.

After some more crying and hugs, Yennifer excused herself to see to a client that would be arriving soon, and Ling and Julie asked Furina if she needed the rest of the day off. 

“Do you take a day off when you get your periods?” 

“Well, no, not usually,” Ling admitted. “But mine are pretty bad sometimes, and I might take some extra time off. I did a couple of months ago, actually. It was so bad I could barely even cook, and dad sent me home.”

“Mine are a lot lighter, but I do sometimes need extra time off my feet. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, especially if it’s your first one,” Julie said.

“No,” Furina squared her shoulders, then winced a bit, because she still had a headache and was quite tender. But she dried her tears, and ate her chocolate. Then, she struck a pose, pointing forward. “The show must go on!” 

The show did go on, though by the end of her shift, Furina wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue living. She felt ugly, bloated, and miserable. When Chef Mao sent her home early, claiming that there weren’t too many dishes, Furina didn’t protest, and instead stumbled home at a somewhat reasonable 10pm. She did stop and buy herself an entire carton of chocolate ice cream at the grocery on the way home. 

“You’re home early,” Yennifer said, looking up from the couch where she’d been reading and peering over her glasses. Normally, Yennifer wore contacts, but at home she used reading glasses. “Feeling any better?”

“No,” Furina admitted. She changed into her comfortable sweat pants and curled up on the couch with a bowl of ice cream, passing one to Yennifer. “Eat some, so I don’t feel so fat.”

“Mmm, I won’t say no to some ice cream. You’re lucky Charlotte’s already asleep, she-”

“Did someone say ice cream?!” Charlotte peered out of her room, then grinned to see Furina. “Ooo, can I have some?”

“Help yourself,” Furina said, then regretted it a moment later when Charlotte took almost the entire carton and dumped it in a bowl. 

“My sister is a fiend for ice cream, though she prefers chocolate chip mint,” Yennifer said with a smile and a shake of her head. “I thought you were asleep already.”

“You were acting suspiciously, and then Furina came home already! Plus, I was editing a video and chatting with Barbs,” Charlotte said, then stuck a big spoonful in her mouth. “Mmm, Häagen-Dazs! You sprung for the good stuff! Rough day?”

“It, um, yes,” Furina said, blushing and feeling terribly embarrassed.

“Hmmm,” Charlotte peered at Furina, then at her sister, then nodded. “I see! So it’s like that, is it? Well, hopefully you won’t be as much of a connasse as was the first few times I had mine.” 

“Yes, well…now I know what I can look forward to every month,” Furina said, feeling morose. She was about to take another bite when Charlotte lept up and exclaimed, “AH-HA!” which nearly caused Furina to spill her ice cream all over herself. 

“So, this was your first one! Now are you going to claim that women in Fontaine didn’t have womanly courses!?” Charlotte demanded, her eyes gleaming. 

“Lotte!” Yennifer snapped, standing herself and looking frustrated. 

“Um, well…they didn’t used to…b-but with all the intermixing…they started to,” Furina said, looking terribly embarrassed. 

Charlotte blinked a few times. Even Yennifer looked confused. “I’m sorry, what?”

Furina considered for a moment, taking another bite of ice cream while her mind worked. “Where…where did humans come from, in France?”

“Er…I should know that, we’re studying history now,” Charlotte said, tapping her forehead. “Ah ha! Yes, we’re originally a Celtic tribe known as the Gauls, but over time other peoples, especially the Germanic Frankish people, moved into the area and intermixed!”

“No, I mean…what were they, originally?” Furina asked. “Were they originally beastkin tribes that were shaped by a god, or were they molded from primordial clay, or did they descend from some sort of elemental beings?” 

“Uh…I’m pretty sure humans evolved from…well, not monkeys, but a type of ape?” Charlotte said, cocking her head to one side. 

“The church teaches we were created by God in the Garden of Eden,” Yennifer added, though Charlotte rolled her eyes.

“I see. Well, Fontanians…we were descended from Oceanids,” Furina said, looking down at her now-empty bowl of ice cream. “I don’t know all the details, but-”

We were born of water and waves. Humans were strangers to us, who came from a distant land. Some say another world. Until they arrived, we oceanids were near mindless. Like the Hydro Mimics, we frolicked and played, copying what we found in nature. But, when we began to copy Man…then, we began to think.

Furina just relayed what Focalors was saying, though in slightly less flowery language. And without the first person pronouns. 

…and so, that was Egeria’s Sin, to give her people the form of Man, that we might truly become our own people, and live life ourselves. I was one of the oceanids who took mortal form, becoming human. One of the first generation. Though as I said previously, that lasted only a short while. And for it, we were cursed, and our Doom foretold by the Prophecy, that the Hydro Archon would remain on her throne, weeping, as her lands were consumed by the waters of the Primordial Sea from whence all Oceanids came. 

This, of course, is the source of that old legend, that a Fontainian couple wishing to have a child needed to go to the Fountain of Lucine. There, the power of the Hydro Archon would bless them, and grant them a child. For Oceanids were elemental creatures, and not fecund as mortal humans were. 

Over time, of course, the mortal humans of other lands interbred with the humanity of Fontaine. Eventually, mortals of Fontaine no longer needed to pilgrimage to the Fountain of Lucine to be blessed with a child, for their blood had mixed, and they would quicken on their own. I had not drawn the parallels to mortal women experiencing natural courses…but I suppose it makes sense. So, then, Furina, that begs the question: Why do you experience such? You are me, and I am you. It is from that first generation that I sprang, and from me, in turn, that you were manifested. You should not have such things.

The story took quite a while, but neither Yennifer nor Charlotte spoke a word, though Charlotte had stolen one of her sister’s legal pads and began furiously taking notes shortly after Furina had begun. 

“So, let me make sure I have this accurately,” Charlotte said, absently tucking a lock of pink hair behind her ear and squinting at her pad; she wasn’t wearing her own glasses, as she’d been ready for bed herself. Yennifer handed her sister the reading glasses, and Charlotte smiled and put them on. “You, or rather, all humans from Teyvat-”

“Oh no! Just Fontainians. The humans in other lands arose in other ways,” Furina clarified. 

“...right. Anyway, you didn’t evolve from a common ape ancestor. You were some sort of aquatic elemental beings who mimicked humans, and by the power of the Hydro Archon, became human. You, Furina, were one of these oceanids.”

“Er, well…maybe? I was born at the right time, I just, um…I don’t remember anything before being given my task to avert the prophecy by Focalors. I could have been a normal human from another land-”

Oh please, Furina. Don’t lie to yourself or them.

“-or more likely…I was created directly by Focalors. Perhaps…perhaps even her ‘humanity.’ As she had become a god after Egeria died in the Cataclysm, and had been judged by Celestia.”

You know better than that. If I had created a human out of nothing, that would have meant a Divine Nail for Fontaine. But using myself? That was perfectly within the rules. Not that they ever noticed. 

“Right, just one clarifying question,” Charlotte said, looking up from her notes. “Furina…how old are you? And don’t go trying to wiggle out of it this time!” 

“Charlotte, it’s late, and Furina’s had an exhausting day. You can grill her later,” Yennifer said forcefully, but Furina shook her head. 

“No, it’s fine. I don’t know exactly how old I am. No, I’m not trying to wiggle out of it, Charlotte! I honestly don’t know. But…but 500 years passed from the time I was given my task, to the day the Prophecy came true.” 

“And if your year is a week longer than ours…500 divided by 52 is…approximately 10 years,” Charlotte said, her eyes racing back and forth as she clutched her pen and pad. 

“Nine and seven months,” Yennifer corrected, which Charlotte nodded at and wrote down. 

“So, you’re 509, at the bare minimum,” Charlotte said, a triumphant expression on her face. “There’s no way you’re a mortal human!” 

“I…” Tears filled Furina’s eyes. “I was. And am. Maybe…maybe even more so, now. I was Cursed, you see. By Focalors herself. I couldn’t die, or find happiness, so long as the Prophecy existed.”

Actually, the exact words were, and I quote, ‘I curse thee that thou shalt be stranded alone upon the stream of time. Thy body is trapped in a whirlpool, never aging, never sickening, nor quickening. Neither shall thou know rest nor joy until thy task be complete; thou shalt know no comfort until the Doom of Prophecy is at hand, and the Hydro Archon is judged, wretched, and alone upon her throne.’

And thank you for that! No wonder I was always a poor sleeper!

I do apologize, dear. But I had to. There had to be a great and terrible Doom upon you. Otherwise, you would have aged like a normal woman, and the ruse would have been up before it had truly begun. 

Why did I have to suffer, anyway? I’m not complaining, just…what were you even doing for 500 years? 

Why, forging a sword that could shatter even a Throne and erase a god from existence. It was a very splendid thing. Even Beezelbul would have been jealous. I invented a new material, Indemnitium, and with it, created a most splendid pyre for myself. I…I did not anticipate that such a pyre would consume you, as well, Furina. Though frankly, I am a bit baffled at how there’s even enough left of me to bear the Mantle for you. Even if only for a limited time. I should have been erased so utterly that even Irminsul might have forgotten me. 

“I’m going to need to know more about this ‘Prophecy,’” Charlotte said, eyes gleaming with intense curiosity again. 

“Not tonight,” Yennifer said firmly. “It’s well past your bedtime, and it’s a school night. And Furina looks deadbeat.”

Charlotte glared at her sister, her Vision glowing brightly, fists clenched so hard she was crumpling her notebook. 

“Charlotte,” Furina said, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder. She whirled on Furina, gaze full of ice. Yes, when Charlotte got this way, there was nearly no stopping her. Unless that is, you knew the secret: Juicy sources and personal interviews. 

“I promise, I’ll give you an exclusive interview. But not tonight. I’m too tired. Next Sunday, perhaps.”

At the words “exclusive interview,” Charlotte thawed from glacial to gleeful. “You mean it!? A personal exposé, just me and you!?” 

“As Furina’s lawyer and your guardian, I will also be present,” Yennifer said, her own tone brooking no argument. 

“You can run the camera and sound equipment! Ooo, I just know this will be the story that makes my career! Heehee, I’ll have to write down a list of questions!” Humming happily to herself, Charlotte skipped off to her bedroom.

Sighing, Yennifer picked up her sister’s empty bowl of icecream and spoon. “You don’t have to indulge her like that, you know.”

“No, it’s…cathartic. I…I always wished I could tell the Charlotte I knew the truth. We were…well, I can’t say close. I didn’t have any real friends, as I lied to everyone about everything. But…but we could have been,” Furina whispered, tears fogging her Vision again. 

Yennifer glanced at the window, where rain had started to splatter against the shutters. As she watched the rain, Yennifer asked, “Were you really human, Furina?”

“I was. Just a cursed one. And now…now I’m not even that.” Furina clutched her abdomen and grimaced. How long was this going to last? 

Go to the doctor in the morning! I wasn’t prepared for this sort of mortal frailty, and you need to take care of yourself, Furina. I watched you suffer for five centuries. I refuse to do it for a moment longer. Not when it serves no purpose. 

Channeling Charlotte, Furina replied in her most biting, acerbic mental voice, Yes, Mother. 

I…yes. Thank you, Furina. I…I think I needed to hear that. Furina heard the sound of sniffles and…wait. Was Focalors crying!? The manipulative mastermind who had condemned Furina to centuries of suffering with a smile on her face? This didn’t make any sense. 

A hand touched Furina’s shoulder, and she looked up to find Yennifer offering her a tissue. “I guess…welcome to life like the rest of us, Furina. It’s crappy and it sucks a lot of the time, but sometimes…sometimes you have ice cream with someone who cares about you. Unless your idiot kid sister eats half the carton.”

“Ha! Well, next time, I’ll know to get extra just for Charlotte,” Furina said, and somehow, despite the fact that she still felt awful…she felt just a little bit better. 

The next day, Russia invaded Finland. Neither Yennifer or Furina would sleep well for a long time to come. 

The Broad Side of a Barn: Chapter 6

The joust had completed, but the Tourney wasn’t over yet: the Melee and the magecraft competition would take place the next day. But, that evening, a special event was taking place. One that had fireworks going off already between Kazuma and Claire. 

“Oh come on, what’s the big deal? If she wants to enter the contest, she should be able to enter the contest!” 

“Because her Highness is ABOVE such petty little displays, Master Kazuma, and I will NOT have her competing with the plebeians for carnival prizes!” 

“Oh get off that high horse, Suit! She’s what, ten!? Kids at that age LOVE carnival prizes! Or have you never taken her to a school festival?!”

“You think her Highness so common she would attend something as pedestrian as a school!?”

“That’s it! WIZ! Add a goldfish and a giant stuffed teddy bear to the prize list!” 

“Her Highness is not- Did you say Wiz?”

Claire blinked, as Wiz bustled over, looking concerned. “Kazuma, is there a problem? The contest is open to all who pay the entry fee…though I do have the most adorable stuffed bear!”

“...and how is it cursed?” Kazuma asked, groaning.

“It’s not cursed! It, um, it just…er…well…it’s sort of modeled on a One Punch Bear…so it also doubles as a sparring dummy, and um…tries to murder you at random intervals. B-but it’s a stuffed bear! So, ah, it’s blows are not very strong.” 

“Uh huh. Maybe not the bear then,” Kazuma said, turning back to Claire, who had gone white in the face. “Cat got your tongue, Suit?” 

“Are you…are you really The Wiz?” Claire asked, sounding a bit breathless. 

“Well, she’s not an all black production of the Wizard of Oz, so probably not,” Chris said brightly, appearing out of nowhere. 

Kazuma gave Chris an odd look. How the hell did she know about the Wizard of Oz? But…all black production? Ozu no Mahōtsukai was in color. Though he did remember something about a live-action movie that was black and white? He hadn’t seen it, though. 

“Um, I am Wiz, owner of Wiz’s Shop and Sundries, and sponsor of the Crimson Concert of Desolation and Destruction. How can I help you Miss…?” 

“Lady Claire Symphonia, of House Symphonia. It is an honor to meet you, Ice Witch,” Claire said with a formal bow. She cocked her head to one side. “You…truly are sponsoring this competition?”

“Oh yes! I’m even acting as head judge! We’ve had so many wonderful people sign up, and a number of visitors have even purchased some of our wares!” Wiz said eagerly. Then she blushed. “Though, um, I don’t go by Ice Witch anymore. I’m retired.”

“Of course, though we do remember your lone assault on the Devil King’s castle. An incredible feat,” Claire said fervently. 

Wiz colored slightly, and Kazuma eyed her sideways. Lone assault on the Devil King’s castle? She was one of his generals. Though come to think of it, he’d never really learned how a sweet thing like Wiz had become a general of the Devil King. Then again, Vanir was one too, so the bar couldn’t be that high.

“Well, I suppose if the Ice Witch herself is the one who organized this and is acting as judge…” Claire sighed. “Then I will tentatively agree to-”

Vibrating with excitement, Iris skidded up, still ‘incognito’ and beaming happily. “Claire! Cousin Tina signed me up for the competition! This will be nearly as much fun as the melee! Do you think I shall be able to triumph!?” 

“Of course,” Claire said, blushing and giving Iris a hug. “You are by far the strongest here.”

Kazuma smirked at Claire. She clearly hadn’t heard about Miss Chunni Boom Booms. “Well, just so you know, there are a couple of Crimson Demons that have entered, so I wouldn’t bet too much that you’re the most destructive maniac here.”

“Kazuma!” Claire snarled, nostrils flaring. “Are you implying-”

“Oh, it’s fine Claire. Crimson Demons are quite strong! But I am certain I can be even MORE destructive than they can!” Iris said, an all too familiar manic gleam entering her eyes as she caressed the hilt of a sword she’d brought out. Wait, hold on….

“That’s…that’s not Saber’s sword, is it?” Kazuma asked, feeling a bit dizzy. 

“Oh yes!” Iris said, and pulled the sword out. “It’s my very great-grandmother Artoria Blazing Saber Belzerg’s legendary blade, Caliber! I was gifted it upon my birth, but this shall be its first proper showing!” 

“Uh, you don’t happen to know Unlimited Blade Works, do you?” Kazuma asked faintly.

Iris looked crestfallen, and wilted slightly. “No, not yet. I’m still working very hard to master it, though!” 

“I’m sure you will, Highness,” Claire said, patting Iris reassuringly on the back. “Your grandmother is said not to have mastered it until she was 16. Just keep practicing and investing skill points.”

“I will! But I have mastered Sacred Explode, so I’m certain that will suffice for today! You will be rooting for me, won’t you, Master Kazuma?” Iris asked, turning and giving Kazuma a pleading look.

He coughed. “Um, sorry, my money’s on a party member of mine. But I figure you’re a shoo-in for second.”

“Oh really? And how much are you betting?” Claire said, a dangerous gleam in her eyes. 

Wait, was she…?

“Minimum bet of 100,000 eris,” Chris said instantly, producing a pair of glasses, a notebook, and a ballpoint pen of all things. “Can I put you down? Current odds are 5-1 in favor of the Belzerg.” 

“Yes,” Claire said, handing over a sack of coins, which Chris vanished somewhere. “I believe Master Kazuma will owe me a great-”

“Claire! Gambling!? In front of Iris!?” Rain demanded, stomping over. “How could you?!”

“I…I was betting on her! To show my support!” Claire stammered, turning bright red. 

“Hmph. We’re having a discussion about the evils of vices, especially in front of our charge!” Rain said. Then paused. “Wait…are people betting against her? Do they, um, know…?”

“Oh, they do, and they are. Can I put you down for one?” Chris asked seriously.

Rain bit her lip, and glanced at Iris, who looked rather intrigued. Hastily, she shook her head. “No! Of course not. I…that is how my house fell into ruin once, and I will not repeat the same mistake!” 

“But Rain, I’m going to win!” Iris protested. 

“That is for the gods to decide,” Rain said firmly. “And not filthy lucre. Come along, it will be starting soon.”

Iris and her two retainers headed to the competitor area, and Kazuma turned to Chris. “How many suckers so far?”

“Over a hundred. And yes, I’m cutting you in on the action, Kazuma. Ten percent.” 

“Ten percent!? That’s…wait. They all bet 100k?”

“Oh no,” Chris grinned and held up her book. “Some bet a lot more than that! You want to go take bets? Make sure you mention one’s a Belzerg, and don’t let anyone bet more than 10k on Megumin. It’s all locals so it’s not like they can afford a higher bet, but we’ll spread the wealth a little.”

“Do people really think a cute little thing like Iris can take on a Crimson Demon who specializes in Explosion Magic?” Kazuma said with a snort.

Chris hesitated, then said. “Uh, I do have an exit strategy planned, FYI. Because um, well…I’m only about 80% certain Megumin wins this one.”

“You have got to be kidding me. I’ve seen other people cast Explosion, mostly Wiz, and hers wasn’t even close to Megumin’s! If Wiz gets an A, then Megumin’s is SSS Tier!” 

Chris winced, and Kazuma moaned as overly dramatic laughter sounded behind him. 

“MWAHAHAHA! I knew you to be a true connoisseur of Explosion Magic, Kazuma!”  Megumin declared, smacking Kazuma heartily on the back. Unfortunately, that bowled him over. Just how many levels had the little maniac been getting!?

“Well, if your Explosion is half as powerful as your hello, you’ve got this one in the bag,” Kazuma muttered as an embarrassed Megumin helped him back to his feet. 

To his surprise, she looked somber and put both hands on Kazuma’s shoulders, though she had to stand on tiptoe to do it. “Kazuma, I must thank you. I thought this contest simply a way to show off my incredible skills. Instead, you have managed to find me a worthy opponent, one who will truly make me earn the title of Pinnacle of Destruction.”

“What, is Wiz competing?” Kazuma asked, frowning over at the lich, who was happily signing up more people as Vanir, dressed in his pink apron, hawked the useless wares to the out-of-towners, who seemed eager to get their hands on a magic item sold by the Ice Witch. Well, they said there was a sucker born every minute, but at this rate they’d fill that quota for a year. 

“What?” Megumin looked at Chris, obviously confused, and Chris sighed. 

“Kazuma, Megumin is going in against a Belzerg in a contest to see who can cause the most destruction in one blow. I don’t think you have any idea how utterly insane and overpowered that family is.”

“Uh, I did hear that Iris tried to adopt a dire alligator as a pet. When she was seven. And also wrestled it into submission.”

And also was apparently training to learn Unlimited Blade Works, which Kazuma had thought was just a meme.

“Let me put it this way, Kazuma,” Megumin said seriously. “There are many Crimson Demons in that bloodline. Iris’s great-grandfather was Renge Kyōkazan, who was renowned for his mastery of fire magic. He once vaporized an entire army with a single cast of Inferno.” 

Well yeah. The idiot was named Mad Flame Slash. 

Chris nodded. “It’s true they have Crimson Demon blood in them, but more importantly, they’re the rulers of the country that has been at war with the Devil King for 500 years. All the other kingdoms fell in that assault. But Belzerg didn’t. And it’s largely because of the fact that the kings and queens of Belzerg have, for 500 years, squared up against various generals and even the Devil King himself…and won.” 

“Iris’ mother died in battle…against Gorudoras the Undying,” Megumin added. “A 300-year-old Vampire Lord, who she fought in single combat and slew. Yes, she died of the Vampire’s curse, but no one else in that group managed to even touch Gorudoras, except for Lapida Dustiness Belzerg.”

“And that was Darkness’ Aunt?” Kazuma guessed, and the two girls nodded. “So, uh, when you say that family is overpowered…”

“When Iris says her many times great-grandmother is a Saber Face…she means the original,” Chris told him. “Not a copycat. And even at her tender young age, she’s already shaping up to be just as deadly as good old Artoria.” 

Kazuma suddenly frowned. “But wait, Saber couldn’t use Unlimited Blade works, that was-” 

“Uh, she definitely could,” Megumin said, eyeing Kazuma skeptically. “It’s why her family always names themselves after weapons. Anyway, a Daughter of the House of Belzerg is truly a worthy opponent! Our battle will be LEGENDARY!” 

With that, Megumin skipped off, humming, “Bakaretsu Bakaretsu La La La~!” to herself. 

Oh boy. 

“Well, I guess I’d better go take some bets,” Kazuma said, accepting a book from Chris. She turned to go, but he grabbed her and pulled her close. “And later, we’re talking about how the hell you know what a Saber face is. Or why you were calling Aqua ‘Senpai’ earlier. Because I’ve never heard a single person here call anyone  senpai.” 

“Looking forward to it!” Chris said cheerily, then slipped out of Kazuma’s grasp and started calling for bets on the contest. 

Kazuma managed to get a couple dozen suckers to sign up, though he also had Dust and a half a dozen others who bet on Megumin. Interestingly, there were a number of locals who bet against the Crimson Terrorist, including Keith. 

“You’re crazy, Dust. You know the saying: never go in against a Belzerg when violence is on the line,” Keith said, handing Kazuma his money as Kazuma wrote down a bet on Iris in his book, and handed Keith a slip. 

“Eh, I’ve seen what Belzergs can do, and I’ve seen what Megumin can do. Sure, on an open field fight, I’d bet it all on the Belzerg. But in a one off, one shot display of firepower? Megumin’s superior,” Dust said with a sage nod. 

“Well, that’s it,” Kazuma said, closing his book. “Contest is about to start. Come on.”

It was just after sunset when the contest kicked off. A few nobles from out of town and a handful of locals had also signed up. The first local was Taro Grimble, a local mage who was fairly high level for Axel: Level 32. He even knew Advanced Magic, and started off the proceedings by launching a rather respectable Meteor Swarm at the castle. 

“Ooo, very nice!” Wiz said, clapping excitedly. “I like it! Six points!”

“Your form was excellent, and that was a very well done spell, Rain agreed. “You’re clearly an above-average mage. I give you six points as well.”

“Eh, it’s not bad, but I’ve seen better, even from you, Taro. Five points, step it up.” Kazuma said with a shrug. He’d been wrangled into being the third judge at the last minute, along with Rain, who had happily agreed to be the out-of-towner representative. 

“Mwahaahah! The first contestant, a man who has stayed in the low level town due to his false dreams that he may woo the mistress of the establishment he frequents, despite the fact that she is interested in no mortal man, earns a paltry 17 points. Moi believes most were given out of pity,” Vanir said, writing down Taro’s score on the board. 

“H-Hey! That last bit was uncalled for!” Taro protested, blushing furiously. 

“Shoo, shoo! Make way for a proper contender. Thou were but an appetizer,” Vanir said, and pushed Taro to the side. “Next, we have Count Dietrich von Sturmkranz, a portly fellow who seeks to impress the ladies with his spells, but who is sure to be outshone by a few little girls!” 

“You may be trying to mock me, proprietor, but I, Count von Sturmkranz, am under no illusion that I may outperform a Belzerg or a Crimson Demon!” the man said, swirling his lightning bolt emblazoned cloak dramatically. “I merely seek to show my own prowess, even if I am getting long in the tooth! Now, witness the von Sturmkranz Bloodline Spell! CROWN OF THUNDER!” 

After a short chant, a massive halo of lightning crashed down on the castle, causing the crowd to applaud in respect, and Taro to look sour. 

“A wonderful display of bloodline magic, showing why the von Sturmkranz family is known as the Storm Sages! Seven points!” Wiz said, smiling at von Sturmkranz and making the old man tug at his mustache in delight. 

“Excellent form, but I’m going to have to break with Miss Wiz,” Rain said, shaking her head and frowning. “I’m afraid for a bloodline ability, that one is all flash, and much less damage. A traditional Call of Storms spell would have been much more suitable to this sort of contest. Five points.”

“Pff, I’ve seen more wattage from Komekko, and she’s six,” Kazuma said with a snort. “Four points, get out of here.”

“MWAHAHAHA! A most paltry sixteen points! My my, if this is your idea of a satisfying performance, moi thinks perhaps this is why your wife sleeps in another room now, Count!” Vanir chortled. 

“Knave! How DARE YOU!” von Sturmkranz blustered, but he was laughed down by the crowd, and slunk away in shame. 

Next up, a timid girl in a miniskirt, clutching her wand like a talisman, approached. She glanced over at Megumin, who gave her a big thumbs up, then sighed. Striking a dramatic pose, Yunyun bellowed, “MY NAME IS YUNYUN! SHE WHO WILL ONE DAY BE CHIEF OF THE CRIMSON DEMON CLAN! BEHOLD, MY MASTERY OF SPELLCRAFT! LIGHT! OF! SABER!” 

Kazuma had seen Yunyun thrown around her signature spell before, but this time, she put more than a little extra into it, summoning a bolt of plasma the size of a house, before hurling it right at the old castle. The clap of the detonation made Kazuma glad he had balls of wax in his ears, and by the time he blinked away the spots, he could still see bits of molten rock raining down from the impact site. 

“Finally!” Rain said, standing and applauding. “Some REAL magic! This is truly a display of why the Crimson Demon clan has earned their fearsome reputation over and over again! Ten points!” 

“I have not seen such a potent Light of Saber since I fought alongside your father 15 years ago! Ten points, Yunyun!” Wiz cheered. 

“Damn, I think they felt that one back in Axel. Ten points,” Kazuma said, giving Yunyun a thumbs up.

“Hmph. Moi supposes thou must make up for thy shrinking personality with superior firepower,” Vanir grumbled, apparently even he couldn’t really find a way to mock Yunyun on that one.

Blushing mightily, Yunyun bowed repeatedly to the judges with her 30 point card, then scurried away as the crowd clapped and cheered for her. 

“Well damn,” Megumi the Mage said, adjusting her sunglasses as she stepped up. “That’s a heck of an act to follow. Oh well…INFERNO!” 

Megumi ended up with a wimpy 15 points, but she shrugged it off. There were a few more nobles and mages, but the closest anyone came was a nobleman with a Bloodline spell called the Noisy Cricket. It sounded like a joke, but it unleashed a massive wave of sonic energy that obliterated two sections of castle wall, earning him 26 points. Kazuma gave him a ten just for the Men in Black reference, while Wiz and Rain gave him eight each.

Then, Iris stepped up. She was no longer wearing a dress and was instead clad in a miniskirt of sturdy fabric, with a breastplate, greaves, and gauntlets forged of mithril. She was holding Excalibur, her hair drawn back in a warrior’s braid, with two smaller braids at the side. The crowd hushed, and Kazuma saw several people duck for cover. 

“Uh, are we far enough away?” Kazuma whispered to Rain.

“Don’t worry, I’ll cast Crystal Barrier,” Rain told him. “We should be fine.”

Uh oh. 

Iris took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Then, they snapped open, and Kazuma saw that they were glowing with a blue fury, a crazed grin on her lips. She ran forward, lept into the air, and swung her sword as she yelled, “SACRED EXPLODE!” 

A sword the size of a school bus formed of glowing golden light formed out of the arc of her swing, and barreled towards the ruined castle. When it hit, it detonated with so much force that Rain’s barrier shattered, sending Kazuma and the other judges sprawling. When Kazuma looked up in a daze, a small mushroom cloud had formed, and the night sky was lit up by the burning crater that had annihilated much of the stone structure. 

“Holy…holy shit,” Kazuma gasped, groaning as he stood up. “That was…well fuck.” 

“Hehe! Master Kazuma, you should not have such foul language. But I appreciate the compliment,” Iris said, bobbing a curtsy to him. 

“Uh yeah. Um, I dunno. Fifteen points?” Kazuma said, looking to the other judges. 

Rain coughed, but stood and hurried over to hug Iris. “I would take marks off for your lack of restraint, but that was most impressive. I agree with Master Kazuma’s sentiments, if not his method of conveying them. Fifteen points, Iris.”

“A wonderful showing of why the Belzerg family has ruled this land so well for so many years! I award 15 points!” Wiz said. She was the only one who hadn’t been knocked off her feet by the blast among the judges. Judging by the crowd, Claire and Darkness were the only ones there who weren’t picking themselves up off the ground either. Sheesh. Darkness had been right: Claire’s job really was to protect the rest of the world from Iris. Not the other way around. 

“Ha ha, pay up, Sato!” Keith called, hurrying over. 

“Oh no. It ain’t over yet. Uh, Darkness, would you come over here a minute?” Kazuma called.

Darkness hurried over, and Kazuma promptly hid behind her. “Perfect. Rain, come here: we’re going to use this wall of muscles as our shield.”

“K-Kazuma!” Darkness protested, even as Megumin dusted herself off, raised her staff, and approached the judging area. 

“No color commentary for the Princess?” Megumin said to Vanir, who was grimacing and dusting himself off. 

“Moi only has words for those with self-doubt and inadequacy on their minds. Additionally, moi has no desire to lose another life on this day.”

“Smart,” Megumin said, then spun about, clutching her hat to her head, as a dramatic wind began to blow. “BEHOLD! I AM MEGUMIN! FOREMOST GENIUS OF THE CRIMSON DEMON CLAN, AND SHE WHO IS MISTRESS OF EXPLOSION MAGIC! NOW, BEHOLD! THE MIGHTIEST SPELL KNOWN TO CREATION!” 

A few of the nobles scoffed, and Kazuma heard them mutter about “red-eyed devils getting above themselves.”

“Claire,” Darkness called. “Bring Iris here immediately! Devastation protocol!” 

On hearing that, Claire went pale, then physically picked up Iris and hauled her behind Darkness, who had planted both feet and was bracing herself. Rain scurried over and erected a Crystal barrier in front of Darkness, her eyes squeezed shut and she sheltered herself. 

“Aren’t they overdoing it?” a clueless noble asked. 

Then Wiz cried, “WALL OF HODIR!” and a great icy palisade was erected around the audience. 

Over it all, Kazuma heard Megumin’s chant. It was a new one. And eerily familiar at the same time. 

I am the bomb of my spell.

Magic is my body, and destruction is my blood.

I have cast over a thousand blasts.

Unknown to rest, nor known to restraint.

I have withstood pain to craft a single spell.

Yet these hands will never know another.

So as I pray—

UNLEASH... EXPLOSION!

Kazuma didn’t see the direct blast. He had his eyes squeezed shut as he hugged Iris close and clung to Darkness, Claire draping herself over the back of Iris protectively. He didn’t hear it either. It was more of a full body experience. The blinding white flash and incredible roar so overloaded his senses that Kazuma was knocked unconscious. The only thing he felt was Darkness’ strong arms about him, before everything went black. 

When Kazuma came to, Wiz’s ice wall had been obliterated. As far as Beldia’s old lair went, there was no trace. The entire precipice where Belida’s castle had stood, nearly 200 meters tall and just as many wide, had vanished. There was a burning, smoking crater more than 500 meters wide. The forest for more than two kilometers in all directions had been completely flattened. It was also on fire. 

“Oh dear, oh dear,” Wiz said, wringing her hands at the spreading blaze. “How will we…?” 

“Don’t worry, I got this,” Aqua said, appearing with Chris at her side. She raised her hands and said, “Weather Control: Rain!” 

A downpour started, and Kazuma could hear the flames hiss as the rain flooded down. He groaned and looked up, seeing Darkness coming back with a limp form in her arms, Yunyun at her side. He staggered to his feet, hurrying over. “Is she…?”

“K-Kazuma,” Megumin rasped, her voice weak and reedy. 

“I…I’m here!” Kazuma said, taking Megumin’s hand. 

“I need…I need you…” Megumin swallowed, then her eyes shot open. “How many points was that!? Truly, that was my greatest Explosion yet! So please, out of 100 points, how many do you award?”

Kazuma looked around at the devastation, the flames that were being quenched by Aqua’s rainstorm, and laughed. “One hundred and twenty, Megumin. You get one hundred and twenty points.” 

“Wiz! Wiz, I demand to know how many points! You too, Miss Rain!” Megumin demanded, struggling to sit up in Darkness’ arms. 

“Um, well, I was using a ten-point scale for everyone else, except Iris of course. So, um…one hundred?” 

“I…yes. That does seem appropriate,” the very frazzled Rain agreed. Her bonnet was gone, and her blonde hair was matted and wet, though she looked rather out of it still.

Iris approached, and Megumin grinned at her. The princess, however, was somber. “Miss Megumin…”

Kazuma gulped, and stepped forward. “Uh, Iris, Highness, you see, Megumin she-”

“That was the most incredible thing I have ever seen!” Iris gushed, darting around Kazuma and seizing Megumin’s hands. “Truly, Cousin Tina has picked the most incredible party of Adventurers to accompany her! An Archpriestess who knows Weather Control and can raise the dead, a skilled and charming Adventurer in Kazuma, and the Foremost Genius of the Crimson Demon Clan!”

“Oh no,” Kazuma muttered as Iris gave Megumin a mana potion. The two girls walked off with Yunyun trailing behind, chattering excitedly. Claire hurried over and tried to put an umbrella over Iris, but it was tattered and bent from the blast. Not that Iris seemed to mind even slightly. 

“Indeed. Now there are two of them,” Darkness sighed. “I fear we may have awakened something in Iris…”

“Claire would kill us if she tried to learn Explosion…” Kazuma groaned, wiping rain from his face. 

“Oh, I’m not worried about that. I am worried that she will be mastering Unlimited Blade Works and unleashing it at every opportunity. Megumin would incorporate the chant for that into her spell,” Darkness sighed. 

“Uh, yeah. So, um, is your whole family…?” 

“Hmm?” Darkness asked, cocking her head to one side. 

“You know, scary, powerful, and completely insane?”

That made Darkness laugh. “I am afraid so. The Belzergian nobility is known far and wide for our…quirks. And, um, certain other…predilections.”

“So you’re not the only masochist.”

“Hnng! Kazuma, that is not…we do not discuss it in public!”

“Uh-huh. So, you enjoyed that, did you?” Kazuma asked, nodding to Darkness’ blackened and burned dress. “I bet you’re enjoying being half naked even more.”

With a gasp, Darkness looked down at herself, then went bright red and tried to cover herself. “I-I did not! Do not, um, I-”

“Oh, relax,” Kazuma said, taking off his cloak and throwing it over Darkness’ shoulders. “You were protecting me and Iris. Good job, by the way. I would have been toast if it wasn’t for you. I’m surprised no one died…”

“Oh, two people did,” Aqua said brightly, popping up beside them. “But I resurrected them! They said ‘totally worth it’ though. Not everyone gets to see such an incredible spell!” 

“Don’t say that too loudly, or Megumin will hear it!” Kazuma hissed. “Go make sure they don’t do anything too stupid!” 

Shrugging, Aqua skipped off through the mud. To Kazuma’s bafflement, a trail of frogs was following after her. Not the giant kind, but a collection of green bull frogs of normal size. 

“What is she, a Disney Princess?” Kazuma muttered. “Or are they just hungry?” 

“Kazuma…I think perhaps we have much to discuss…” Darkness said.

Sighing, Kazuma nodded. “Come on, let’s find some shelter…”

They found a sheltered thicket behind a cliff where the trees hadn’t caught on fire or fallen down, and Kazuma and Darkness huddled together under the overhang. He’d taken Megumin here a few times to let her recover from her Explosion if he didn’t feel like carrying her the whole way. Darkness sat beside him, though they were both shivering from the rain, which hadn’t let up yet. 

“So, I already told you about me and Aqua,” Kazuma said, taking off his shirt and wringing it out. 

“Yes. I just…Kazuma, where do we go from here?” Darkness said, grimacing at her dress. She sighed and started to peel the tattered fabric off, making Kazuma’s eyes goggle. “What?”

“I just, uh, you um…” Kazuma trailed off, examining Darkness' body in the dim light. If he hadn’t had his Night Vision skill, he wouldn’t have been able to see a thing. “I can see you.”

“Yes, Kazuma, I am aware. Am I injured?” Darkness said, examining herself. “I cannot see so well, it is near pitch black.”

“Kindle,” Kazuma created a small flame, then found a dry stick and lit a small fire. He gave Darkness a thorough inspection, though she was near naked now. Not that she seemed overly flustered. “No, uh, you’re good.”

“Y-you seem, um, embarrassed, Kazuma. Do you not find…are my muscles so abhorrent?” Darkness said, looking crestfallen. 

“Dunno,” Kazuma said. “All my blood is rushing to my dick, and it’s so hard from seeing you mostly naked I can’t think straight.”

“T-that is a very crass way of putting it,” Darkness said, then pulled Kazuma close and kissed him, gently wrapping her arms about him. He enthusiastically returned it, reaching under her bra and pinching her nipple for good measure.

She groaned at that, her back arching slightly. “K-Kazuma…you make me wish…make me wish to do something…unwise.”

“It can’t be dumber than letting Megumin blow up the whole damn forest and nearly kill the Princess in the process,” Kazuma said. 

“F-first…we must talk,” Darkness said, though she didn’t pull away from Kazuma. Instead, they cuddled next to the fire, and Darkness was quiet for several minutes. 

“So, uh…this may be inappropriate…but I sort of feel like I’m locked into your route now,” Kazuma said awkwardly. 

“Hmm?” Darkness stirred from laying with her head on Kazuma’s shoulder to regard him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, uh, you know…I sort of feel like…I’m at the point of no return. You know, like, maybe I could have unlocked the Megumin Route, or the Yunyun Route, probably not the Aqua Route…but I’m, uh, I’m sort of on the Lalatina Route.”

“Only if you promise not to use that hideous name,” Darkness said, shivering against Kazuma. “Though you have an odd way of putting things. I suppose you mean to say you are setting aside wooing your other party members?”

“Uh, yeah, that. I mean…I’ve never asked a girl out before, so…you know.” Kazuma struggled to his feet, Darkness looking up at him in perplexity. Then he slammed the mossy stone above her head with his palm and leaned over her. “So, Darkness. You wanna go out some time, maybe do some perverted things together?” 

That made Darkness laugh, and she poked Kazuma in the chest. “Have we not already been doing rather risque things? We did share a bath. Is this how a man asks to court a woman in your lands?”

“Uh, yeah, sort of,” Kazuma said, feeling deeply embarrassed.

Darkness stood and kissed Kazuma, taking his hands in hers. “Yes. Though, that is what I wished to discuss. For you see…you will not only be ‘going out’ with Darkness the Crusader. But…ugh. Lalatina Ford Dustiness, Heir of House Dustiness.”

“I’m all for harem endings, but that’s just you twice,” Kazuma said, frowning slightly. 

“It is…and it is not. You see, Darkness the Crusader is a lackadaisical pervert who can indulge her fantasies and galavant about the countryside with nary a care in the world. But Tina the Ducal Heir…she has responsibilities. Duties. The weight of a House and the Kingdom upon her shoulders. And…and it would not be right for me to allow you to pursue me if you were not fully aware of the situation.”

Kazuma almost said something flippant, but paused. Darkness was being…well, not very Darkness at the moment. She seemed utterly serious about this, and while she could be a goof and a failure of a human being, she was also the most level headed and reasonable of his party, so it wasn’t insane that she was breaking kayfabe now to put on her noble lady persona. 

“OK. Well, with me, what you see is what you get. There isn’t a whole lot more going on with me.”

“Aside from having a goddess as a companion and being reincarnated from another land.”

“Uh, sure, aside from that. But, well, I get the impression there’s more to you here. So talk,” Kazuma said. 

Sighing, Darkness sat back down, and Kazuma seated himself next to her. 

“As I have said, I am heir to a noble house. Not just any noble house, but one of the preeminent houses of the land. My aunt, being the king’s wife and mother of the heir and Iris, is not a lone happenstance: My family has long been deeply tied to the Throne. And that means there are certain things my family is duty-bound to do. Primarily, to oversee much of the land of this nation and to defend it. Belzergian nobility are not worthless clotheshorses or landlords: We are the swords and shields of this nation, blessed by the gods with extraordinary powers. And we are expected to use them.”

“Right, that makes sense. Sort of like a daimyo and his samurai. Uh, that would be like…a count or something. I think I’ll need those etiquette classes to figure it out,” Kazuma admitted. 

“Correct. But, um, if you were to, ah…m-marry me, it would, well, it would mean certain responsibilities fall on you, Kazuma. You would gain titles and privileges yes, but those come with a heavy burden. You would be expected to help defend this nation from all threats at my side.”

“Wait, you mean, we get to be an Adventuring party forever?” Kazuma asked. “Not just retire to a cushy life!?”

“Not quite, a noble’s household does not merely work as day laborers accomplishing quests no one else can be bothered with. Instead, they take upon the deadliest dangers to safeguard their people. And Axel…well, Axel is known as the Town of Beginnings because it is the safest. Other places have much more dire threats.”

“There’s WORSE than the Destroyer, Beldia, Vanir, and Alderp’s Bishi son?!”

“Uh, actually, when you put it that way…perhaps Axel has not been so quiet in our time here. Regardless, much of our time would be spent either managing my family’s lands and adjudicating disputes, or out in the field slaying the deadliest of fiends.” 

Kazuma squinted at Darkness. “So, less time groping you and taking sexy baths together?”

“T-that would be, um, private recreational time. After our duties are attended to. Though, um, y-you would need to fulfill the, ah, m-most pressing duty of a Ducal Consort.”

“Knocking you up?” Kazuma guessed.

Darkness blushed, then squeaked out a, “Yes.”

“Hmm,” Kazuma rubbed his chin, then held up a finger. “What if we have tryouts?”

“I…pardon?” Darkness said, cocking her head to one side. 

“STEAL!” Kazuma cried, holding out both hands, and the last scraps of clothing Darkness had on, namely her bra and panties, appeared in his hands. 

This time, Darkness didn’t try to cover herself up. Instead, she reached out, and pulled Kazuma closer to her, breathing hard. “I…I see. Kazuma, d-do you truly understand…w-what I am saying? M-my father-”

“Isn’t here. I’ll convince him to like me, somehow.”

“I, ah!” Darkness moaned as Kazuma pinched and twisted her nipple, then gasped as he bit at her neck like a vampire. Though her skin was so tough he barely even left a mark. “K-Kazuma, I…oh. V-very well. It…it would be for the best…if you…”

Instead of saying anything further, she tugged off Kazuma’s underwear, which made him freeze. Wait, were they really doing this? Was this actually happening? He thought…well, he hadn’t really been thinking, but he’d sort of figured they’d just do some more heavy petting and-

Darkness put her hands on Kazuma’s member, and all thoughts vanished. He NEEDED her. Here was the sexiest woman he had ever seen, and she was lying back and pulling him atop her while they locked lips. 

The rain was still falling outside, and it was damp and muddy as they caressed one another, but Kazuma really didn’t care. He ground against Darkness, and she moaned again. “P-pull my hair,” she pleaded. “Force me-”

“Shut up,” Kazuma growled, and slapped Darkness across the boobs as hard as he could, making her gasp in delight. Then he did pull her hair, forcing her lips to his. When they broke, he gasped, “You’re nothing but my slut, you hear? You’re no duchess, you’re just my personal plaything!”

“Y-yes! Use me! Use me, K-Kazuma! Use me as-” Darkness gasped as Kazuma thrust forward. The sensation was overwhelming, and he moaned loudly. 

“You feel…he feel so fucking tight. You bitch. I…I love you,” Kazuma panted, and began to pump his hips.

“Kazuma! Kazuma, I love you!” Darkness agreed, bucking hard against him. Their bodies slapped together, and Kazuma grunted in time with the rhythm. 

Then, all of a sudden, it was over. A wave of pleasure shuddered through Kazuma as he ground against Darkness, and she moaned and shuddered herself. He blinked at her, red faced and panting, and she looked back, her forehead sweaty, her pupils wide. 

“I…I think…I think I just became a man,” Kazuma slurred. “Oh fuck.”

“You…you have ruined me forever, Kazuma,” Darkness said, then pulled him tightly to herself and kissed him. “More!” 

“I, um…” Kazuma could already feel himself deflating. “That’s um…that’s it.”

“What?” Darkness blinked at him. “That was…that was it?” 

A deep sense of shame washed over Kazuma. It probably hadn’t even been more than a couple of minutes at most since they had really started. Maybe not even that. Shit, was he a worthless heel, a one pump chump!? This wasn’t what was supposed to happen!”

“I, Darkness, I just, um-”

“Hush,” Darkness said, and kissed him again. “It was…it was wonderful. Not…not what I imagined, but…do people really make such a big deal about this? That was pleasurable, but…I had thought my mind would be swept away.”

Shit, shit, shit! Had she even come?! Was he so worthless as a lover!? 

“I, um, I could try-”

“No, we should get back,” Darkness said, standing up. She helped him to his feet, then started to dress. “It is late. And there will be much to do.”

“Um, i-it was good for me,” Kazuma stammered. 

Darkness smiled at him. Well, more grinned, really. “It was good for me also, Kazuma. We shall have to try…other things. But for now…yes. That was…well. Much as I imagined it, I think.”

“Even if you weren’t, uh, swept away.”

“You swept me off my feet long ago,” she told him, then wrapped his cloak about her. “Well, shall we?”

They walked back in the rain, but despite the fact that he’d finally punched his V card… Kazuma felt as devastated as Beldia’s castle had been. 

The Second Archon War: Comedia Glacialis 20

Comedia Glacialis 20: The Princess’ Lonesome Aria

Kollei remembered her first home only vaguely. It had seemed enormous and comfortable, but looking back at it, she had lived in a drafty old apartment building that had probably been cramped for her family. Still, it had been a paradise compared to where she had lived after the Behemoth came. Bombed out ruins. Holes in the ground, covered only with a tarp. Slowly dying of starvation, hypothermia, and radiation poisoning. 

Now she lived in a palace woven from ice and starlight by a god, surrounded by every luxury imaginable, with a legion of servants at her every beck and call. A palace that was inhabited by monsters, from the living storm known as The Sleeper, to Baba Yaga, and worst of all, Kollei’s own mother. 

Sometimes, Kollei missed the hole with a tarp. Life had been simpler then. 

Now wasn’t the time to reminisce. Kollei sat upon her mother’s throne, her mother’s Gnosis in her hands, a crown of ice upon her brow. Russia hovered upon a knife’s edge. Kollei had seen visions of the past in the ice. When the ruler faltered, when weakness was shown, the supposed servants could turn upon their mistress, and rip her and the land to bloody rags in their struggle for power. She could not allow this to happen. And so, while her mother slept on, Kollei had to rule. 

To do that, she needed to find something for the five individuals who knelt before her to do. Something that did not involve them staying in the palace and plotting against her. She had seen what happened to armies with powerful leaders who were allowed to languish in the ice as well. Civil war and unrest were only the beginning. She could not allow that distant vision to become reality. 

And so, Kollei did what so many leaders before her did when they had armies and generals who lay idle. She sent them to war and conquest. 

My Harbingers, Kollei said, forcing herself to speak in a calm, measured voice, and praying her voice wouldn’t squeak. Her courses had stopped, and she wasn’t sure why: she’d had a major growth spurt since being healed and having access to enough healthy food, but in the last couple of weeks, her growth had halted completely according to Riley. Perhaps it was overexposure to Elemental Energy. Perhaps it was her giving up her Vision. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Russia survived, and her Mother’s plans with it. 

Are Our forces prepared?

The armies of the Empire stand ready, The Thief said, his voice echoing slightly within his mask, and imbued with power. We march upon your word. 

We have delayed too long. The Finns have dug in and prepared for an assault, the Witch said, tilting her head up just enough that her glowing eyes were visible under the brim of her purple and blue hat. She wore her mask always now, the hideous scar that she had received in the Cauldron Raid still festering on her face, despite all Riley could do. 

Do you think the preparations of mortals can stymie you, Yelizaveta Mirova? Kollei asked, her voice full of all the warmth of winter’s heart. It should have been painful to speak this way. But she was numb. Her heart could only be full of ice, now. Even as it bled. 

A flash of a grin under the Witch's mask, and Baba Yaga bowed her head. No, Highness. 

Kollei nodded, then turned to the Prince. You shall summon forth our Storm, Ivan Petrov. The Finns prepare for a spring and summer war. We shall give them a Winter War.

As you say, My Lady. So it shall be, the Prince agreed. He did not wear a carved and painted wooden mask; his hung about his neck. But Kollei was quite certain the handsome face of flesh was just as much a mask for this creature. 

Next, Kollei turned to the Dancer. You shall secure our border in the Baltics. Ensure that the Knights of the Wind God do not attempt to make any incursions in Our territory. And that the citizenry embraces the Love of Our Mother.

“As you command, Highness,” Anastasia said in a whisper devoid of power. That was not good. She wasn’t wearing her mask, and though her eyes were no longer puffy with tears, she was close to a broken woman now. Kollei would keep her from the front lines for now, but she needed a Harbinger, not a grieving wreck of a woman. 

At least Anastasia wasn’t scheming against her, unlike Yeleniza and Anatoly. Already Kollei had been forced to deal with several instances of insubordination. Nothing overt, but orders would get lost, or delayed, or misinterpreted. Thankfully, she had at least one utterly loyal instrument that was still effective. 

Riley Grace Davis. You shall continue to attend to Our Mother and manufacture Delusions. 

It was the sort of thing that Kollei felt as though it wasn’t her speaking when the words left her mouth. Sometimes, when she gripped the Gnosis, she could feel her Mother’s will and Voice flowing through her. It was frightening, but it was the one thing keeping her going, which in turn was the one thing keeping Russia going. 

Yes, Highness, Pater agreed. She wore a bearded mask with a grinning face and long curly hair. It should have looked ridiculous but with Riley’s Dendro Delusion causing her eyes to glow green, it looked ominous instead. She’d figured out how to use the Gnosis to manufacture more Delusions, and that was one thing that would keep Russia as a world power. Unlimited access to crafted capes was a major game changer. 

After that, Kollei addressed the troops, both in a large parade in the central square of New Moscow and over the television set. There was no need to launch a sneak attack: as soon as the world saw the blizzard forming in Saint Petersburg and marching North into Finland, they would know what was planned. 

The words that poured out of Kollei had been carefully shaped by her speech writers and ministers to inspire loyalty and devotion in her soldiers, and the Love she infused her words with using the Gnosis would ensure they were effective. 

…and so, march now to reclaim the Grand Duchy of Finland, and restore Our Beloved Tsaritsa as the rightful ruler! she finished. 

As her soldiers cheered, Kollei felt like vomiting. How many of these men and women, only a few years older than she, would not return from this war? How many Finns would perish in this battle? Over 100,000 sons of Russia had perished in the first Winter War. How many would die this time? 

Is this what Love should be? Is this what Mother would want? 

No. She couldn’t think like that. The prize in this fight was the survival of mankind. The forfeit, the annihilation of all of Fate at the hands of the Sustainer. She had to gather in as much of humanity as she could. If she Loved the Finns, they must become her Mother’s. Otherwise, they and so many more were doomed to perish. 

What was her conscience in the face of such an altar? 

Nothing. Just like her dead Vision that remained hidden in her bedside vanity. 

After the speech, there was a grand ball and party, where capes and officers in glittering uniforms danced. One thing Kollei did appreciate was the glamor and pomp that the new Imperial Age had ushered in. Coats lined with ermine and bear fur. Polished black cavalry boots. Golden buttons and shining gems on the pommels of swords. 

For the party, Kollei’s escorts were the Vasil siblings, sent by Pater.

“Highness,” they said, bowing in unison. They were dressed in matching black uniforms, with pants for Jean-Paul, and a pleated skirt for Cherie. Both had gold buttons, with a blue bowtie for Jean Paul to compliment his Cyro Vision, while Cherie had a green ribbon about her neck, almost like a collar. And, oddly enough, she’d gained a pair of cat ears on her head, which Kollei found herself staring at. 

“Pater gave them to me, to remind me I’m nothing but an animal,” Cherie said, her tone neutral, but her eyes smoldering with anger. Jean-Paul gave his sister an irritated look, his lip curling slightly in disgust. Well, no love lost between these two. 

“Perhaps if you serve me well, I shall have her remove them,” Kollei said, giving Cherie a sad smile. 

The color drained out of Cherie’s face, and her hand went automatically to her ears as they folded flat on her head. “N-No, Highness. P-Please, please don’t. I…I am Pater’s loyal p-pet.” 

“And if you’re not, Pater will give you a tail to match,” Jean-Paul said with a roll of his eyes. 

Cherie actually hissed at her brother, and for a moment, her eyes changed to cat-like pupils, and her nails sharpened to claws. Perhaps she would be a better bodyguard than window dressing after all. Then she hastily bowed meekly to Kollei. “I-I am sorry, Highness. I shall be your loyal servant. Only-”

“There is no ‘only!’ We serve our Family,” Jean-Paul said, kicking his older sister in the shin. 

She winced, but nodded and kept her posture subservient. 

Kollei fought back a sigh. Even children like these…but then again…they were the children of Heartbreaker. One of the most powerful Masters on record, her own Mother aside of course. Tools. Weapons. Why did Kollei have to think of people as such?

Because if you Love too deeply, you will never be able to do what must be done, as your Mother wished. She knows best. I must do as she commanded. 

Just before entering the ballroom, Kollei paused in front of a mirror and studied her reflection. Her hair, which had been turning slightly green, was bleeding away its color, with the tips going platinum blonde. Her eyes had flecks of blue ice in them now, and her skin was becoming paler, her freckles fading. 

For her clothes, they were of the finest cut: a light blue and cream colored gown, with a pearl and sapphire laced corset that had needed to be padded to give her much of a womanly figure. She bore the Gnosis as a necklace, one that she never removed. With it, she could feel her connection to all Ice, all Love. 

What a pity there was so much Ice and so little Love to be found at her ball. 

“Time to take the stage,” Kollei whispered to herself, hand resting upon the glowing Gnosis. 

A twisted smile formed on Cherie’s lips and she readied the door. “Lights, camera…”

“Action,” Kollei breathed, and nodded to the girl. Girl. They were the same age, fifteen or so. And yet, Kollei felt so much older…

The door swung open, and the dazzling blue light of the ball made Kollei’s heart skip a beat. She stepped out after Jean-Paul, who cried, “Presenting, her most Benevolent Imperial Highness, Princess Kollei Bronislavna Snezhnaya!”

The music that had been playing, a somber waltz, halted, as all the dancers and guests turned to the grand stairway that Kollei was descending from. One and all, they bowed low, then stood and applauded, with more than a few cheers of, “Hail, Princess!” or “Victory for Russia!” 

Kollei waved grandly to them, a frozen mask of calm grace fixed on her face. When she spoke, she kept her voice soft, but used the Gnosis so that it would be easily heard by all who perceived her, no matter how distant they were. 

My beloved subjects, this night is for you. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow, you march to war and glory. Know that my Love, and the Love of my Mother, the Tsaritsa, goes with you.

More cheers and applause, and Kollei let her eyes wander the room for a moment, before going down to the dance floor, Jean-Paul and Cherie close behind her. 

The first to approach her was a dashing man in the uniform of the Fatui Imperial Air Fleet. He had on a sky blue uniform with golden epaulets, and the blue tasseled spear insignia of a First Rank Captain. He was handsome, with chiseled features and a flashing white smile, along with a Cryo Delusion. He bowed deeply to her, hand to his heart. 

“Captain Mikhail Vostrikov, Highness. Would you care to dance?” 

Kollei looked over the captain’s head, to where Yeleniza stood with her cotary of sycophants, many of them wearing IVST uniforms. The IVST were not a traditional airforce, instead composed almost completely of capes who could fly under their own power. Captain Vostrikov being no exception; Kollei could sense the tamed Demon her Mother had bound to the man that gave him the ability. 

Yes, this man was one of hers. And by dancing with him, Kollei would in turn show favor to the Witch’s faction. That could be a dangerous move; Anatoly and his hangers on from the Fatui who made up the land forces were watching with dark expressions, their own offering, a charming young fatuus in an Army Major’s uniform, only a few steps behind Vostrikov. 

“I am afraid the first dance of the night goes to another,” Kollei said, and extended her hand to another who had approached her. 

The Prince bent over Kollei’s fingers, kissing her signet ring. “I would be honored, Highness.”

The massive Harbinger led Kollei out onto the dance floor, and the band struck up a stately tune. 

Unlike the Thief and the Witch, Ivan Petrov had no faction. He was a man alone, but he truly needed no one else. His grief at the Tsaritsa’s convalescence was well known, as was his tendency to fly into rages that left those who displeased him dead or worse. The few who tried to attach themselves to the Prince were as insane and unstable as he was, or simply the foolish and desperate. Kollei saw a few of them cringing or talking to themselves on the sides, but ignored them. Ivan was not playing palace politics, for he was too mad to manage it. Not to mention he had all the subtleties of the living storm he was. 

After Ivan, Kollei agreed to dance with Yeleniza’s chosen, then Anatoly’s. It was a bit of a coup for the Witch’s faction to get the second dance, but not as much as it would have been to gain the first. Displays of favor from the Imperial Throne were powerful tools in the deadly dealings of the court. So far, the Harbingers hadn’t directly tried to kill one another, but they certainly vied for power and influence. Or at least, most of them did. 

To Kollei’s surprise, Anastasia sent a woman to dance with her. She was a beautiful porcelain doll of a woman, a fatuus named Tatiana Morozova. She was a former Parahuman who had once been a skilled seamstress, even remarking that she had helped design some of Kollei’s clothes. Her powers involved fabric manipulation, and while she wasn’t a frontline fighter, she was being used to mass manufacture uniforms and enhance them to be bullet and cold resistant with her powers. 

What are you playing at, Anastasia? Your faction is small, full of those who have no direct combat potential, but key positions in other areas. Sending a woman…I have no preference, but do you mean to plant a seed in other’s minds?

It seemed so, because Anatoly and Yelaniza quickly selected charming girls from their own followers to dance with Kollei. Amusing. But she wouldn’t grant them a second dance. 

Instead, Kollei beckoned a young girl who flitted about the room, trailed by a few children in similar garb to Jean-Paul and Cherie’s. Some of them had various animal parts on them, from the nose of a dog to the tail of a crocodile, while others were freakishly large or even flying about on the wings of a dragonfly. One, a girl with the armored leathery skin of an armadillo, Kollei recognized. Tara. The Polish orphan Kollei had drawn into a dream to be saved. 

Now, just like Riley, she was trapped in a nightmare. She seemed happy and healthy enough under Pater’s care in the House of the Hearth, but like so many, she had been ‘gifted’ by her new Father. She would be utterly loyal to the Tsaritsa now, or if she wasn’t, a few more months of ‘education’ would ensure she was. 

Riley hastened forward, dressed in a man’s suit white suit, with a red rose on her lapel. She blushed as she took Kollei’s hands, and she was a good head shorter, but when the music began again, Riley easily took the lead, having learned the man’s steps to the dance. 

“How fares the ball?” Kollei asked as they spun about the dance floor. 

“Um, well, Highness. I think? Everyone seems very excited to go off to war…are you certain you do not wish the House of the Hearth to join the war effort?” Riley asked. 

“No. I need you here, with me. Helping Mother,” Kollei said firmly. “You’re the best biotinker alive, Riley. If anyone can wake Mother, it is you.”

“Oh! Um, of course, yes! I just…Jack always…” Riley swallowed, looking sick as she always did when she brought up her former tormentor. 

“I don’t hold you back because I believe you to be weak, Riley. I do it because you’re precious to me. Because I need someone who I know won’t try to manipulate me or stab me in the back to further their own agenda. I need a friend.”

That made Riley blush all over again and bit her lip. She really was so young…they both were, really. It was madness, that two children ruled one of the most powerful nations on Earth, but it was what had to be. Until her Mother awoke, Kollei had to hold together this nation. 

Or else things would go back to how they were before the Tsaritsa came. Death. Crime. Poverty. That was unacceptable. 

She had to be strong. She had to be her Mother’s daughter. 

“You know I never wanted more than a family that loved me, Highness. You have given me that, and for it, I am forever grateful. I will always be your loyal Pater.”

The dance came to an end, and Kollei lightly kissed Riley on both cheeks, something she had not done for her previous dance partners. She could already feel the undercurrents raging. Let them. Riley was used to games of cutthroat survival from her time with the Slaughterhouse Nine. Already she had returned several spies and assassins as grotesque puppets with eyes and ears removed and wagging tongues. While Riley looked like a sweet and innocent girl, she was as cruel and ruthless as any of the others. 

But, she was loyal, and loved Kollei wholeheartedly. And above all, that was what Kollei needed for her Mother and her land to survive. Only for a little while longer. Only until her Mother awakened. Then, everything would be all right. 

After the last dance, Kollei circulated for another half hour, chatting with various courtiers and sycophants. She tried to spend most of her time with the Fatui who would be heading off to war and death. Fatui. It meant “fool,” and Kollei could not think of a more appropriate term. Why could Love not be easier? Why could she simply not live in peace with her neighbors?

Because the end of the world is coming. And you and your people must be strong. Love is not gentle. It is fierce, and deadly. You are Russia, and you must be the Mother Bear, ready to defend her cubs with ferocity. 

But she didn’t feel like a mother bear. She felt like a ravaging wolf, frothing at the mouth and devouring all it saw. 

Just before midnight, Kollei bid the guests farewell and retired from the dance, Jean-Paul and Cherie following at her heels. From the ballroom, they did not head to Kollei’s chambers, but instead to the tallest tower, in the highest room, one that was always encased by ice. Kollei did not feel the chill, even dressed in a summer evening gown. Cherie shivered, ice forming on the fur of her ears, and she rubbed her arms, the thin fabric of her costume not enough to spare her. Her brother was stoic; cold did not bother those born of Cryo. 

Upon reaching the frozen door, Kollei dismissed her guards. Cherie immediately turned to leave, but Jean-Paul shook his head. “I will not abandon you. I will guard the door, Princess.”

Hearing that, Cherie hissed, but took up her position on the other side of the door, nodding to Kollei. “I-I w-will not abandon y-you either, H-Highness.”

Smiling, Kollei stretched out her hand, and from the ice, wove together a warm blanket. Cherie’s eyes widened as Kollei placed it about the cat-girl’s shoulders, but she purred softly, rubbing her cheek against the fabric. Then stiffened. “I-I am a woman…n-not…n-not…”

“You are whatever Pater commands you to be,” Jean-Paul told her. 

Tears froze on Cherie’s cheeks, but she nodded and bobbed a curtsy to Kollei. “You are too kind to this humble servant, Princess. Please, do not let me keep you from your duty. I have mine.”

Kollei stepped into the frozen room, and found an enchanted wonderland. Flowers of delicate crystal blossomed on the floor. A stream flowed under the bed and around the room, only it was made of solid ice. Perfect snowflakes fell, but never grew to overly large mounds. There were even chiming songbirds of living ice, and small rabbits and foxes the size of toys that froliced. 

And there, in the center, laying on a bed of solid Cryo and frozen in a block of the clearest ice, lay her mother. Bronya’s face was reposed, hands folded over a white lily atop her navel. Her dress was that of a regal queen, and she looked as though she would stir and wake at any moment. 

But as Kollei placed her hands upon the ice, she could sense her Mother still slept. That she was as insensate as ever, and from what Kollei could tell, no closer to waking. Closing her eyes, Kollei sat upon a stool that formed itself beneath her and sat. Taking the Gnosis from around her neck, Kollei pushed it through the block of ice, and touched it to her Mother’s pale skin. 

Then, she began to send a steady stream of Cryo energy into her Mother’s body. This was a nightly ritual for Kollei. She found that she needed very little sleep these days. She could sustain herself on Cryo energy alone, her body no longer requiring human things such as rest or mortal food. Sucking on an ice cube gave her as much nutriment as a three-course dinner. 

“What am I becoming, Mother?” Kollei whispered. “My heart is frozen, and my body…it’s changing.”

But Kollei knew the answer. 

She was becoming her Mother.

She was becoming…the Tsaritsa. 

And in the morning, upon her command, the Tsaritsa’s forces crossed the white and blue boundary markers and began their bloody conquest of Finland. 

Author’s Note: 

Well that was depressing. Who’s up for some comedy? 

The Broad Side of a Barn, Chapter 5

“What do you think? Is my disguise not cunning?” 

Kazuma had to fight back a smile, as Iris pirouetted before them. She’d changed out of her cream-white silk dress, and into a blue woolen one that looked like it belonged to the daughter of a prosperous merchant. She’d put on a straw hat that Kazuma had made for her when she’d made it clear she wanted to go out in secret, though she still had on the grape hair ornament. 

“I’m sure no one will suspect it is you, Iris,” Darkness said, kneeling to adjust the princess’ dress. Darkness herself had changed into a summer dress that similarly would have fit a prosperous member of the merchant class. Indeed, with the matching hat (also made by Kazuma) she looked like she could be Iris’ older sister, which made sense if they really were first cousins. 

“I still think this is an ill-informed masquerade,” Claire grumbled. She had not changed into a dress and was instead wearing a very out-of-place white suit with gold buttons and riding boots. 

“It will be fine,” the governess, whose name was Rain, said with a smile. Her dress had already been rather more plain; a practical blue gown with a corset and blue bonnet. “She does look darling in it, doesn’t she?”

“What if someone accosts the princess!? We’re supposed to keep her safe,” Claire huffed. 

“Eh, don’t sweat it. You’ve got Kazuma Sato and Darkness the Crusader with you,” Kazuma said, striking a pose. He was just wearing his normal clothes, and didn’t see what all the fuss of changing was about.  “We’re the number one adventuring party in this town!” 

“Being the best adventuring party out in the boonies is hardly something to brag about,” Claire muttered, but glanced at Darkness and sighed. “Oh, very well. I suppose with a Dustiness and a Symphonia to safeguard her highness, the risk is minor.”

“Who the hell does she think she is?” Kazuma muttered to Darkness as they headed towards Axel, which was only a short walk from the Tournament Grounds. 

“Claire is a member of House Symphonia, second in line behind her elder brother, and daughter of Duke Aquarius Symphonia. She’s widely regarded as the best duelist in the Kingdom, which is why she’s charged with Iris’ safety,” Darkness whispered to him. “She’s also a bit of an uptight prude, and completely obsessed with Iris’ safety. She means well though, but, ah, she does have something of a reputation with men.”

“What, is she a degenerate pervert like you?” Kazuma muttered. 

“Sato! What are you whispering about, and why are you leering at the princess? If you have any ill intentions towards her,” Claire snapped at him. 

“...never mind, you’re a raging misandrist, aren’t you?” Kazuma said bluntly. 

Darkness groaned, but nodded, while Claire went bright red. “If you have any ill intentions towards the princess…”

“Nah, I like ‘em with big boobs and a nice ass,” Kazuma said, making round mounds in front of his chest. “But she’s a real sweetie. Unlike some people.”

“Why you…” Claire hissed. “If you try to corrupt the princess-!” 

“Cousin Tina, Master Kazuma, come! What are you whispering about? You’re not plotting to escape me, are you?” Iris asked, coming back to them and taking Kazuma and Darkness’ hands. Claire glared at them, but didn’t make a move to block her. 

“We were just talking about all the places to show you,” Kazuma told Iris, winking at Claire, which made steam come out of her ears. “I was thinking the duck pond would be the perfect place to stop. We’ll get some bread first to feed them.”

“Ooo! I have seen other children feed the ducks in the moat, but I was never allowed myself. Though one time, I did sneak down and lure out a dire alligator,” Iris said, striding along happily. 

Kazuma blinked, then glanced at Claire, who sighed heavily. 

“She did indeed…”

“Uh, there aren’t any dire alligators in our duck pond. Just ducks, and catfish.”

“A pity, I did rather enjoy wrestling it! But father wouldn’t let me keep Snuggles, so I had to let him go.” 

“Oh, so it was just a baby alligator then,” Kazuma said, feeling slightly relieved. 

“Oh no, Snuggles was at least 100 stone! He tried to pull me in the moat when I first caught him, but when he bit my arm I tossed him on the bank and wrestled him until he decided we could be friends!” Iris said brightly. 

Kazuma wasn’t sure how much a stone was, but he was pretty sure it was more than a kilo. And Iris looked like she might weigh 35 kilos soaking wet. 

“She was seven at the time,” Darkness said, ruffling Iris’ hair. “It wasn’t the biggest dire alligator I’ve ever seen, but he was a healthy size.” 

Apparently, Iris had Darkness’ durability. And common sense. 

“I very nearly fainted when I saw the creature,” Rain added. “I would have killed it, but Iris sobbed when I started casting Fireball and begged me not to.”

“And that was when his Majesty decided that her Highness needed a bodyguard,” Claire said with a shake of her head. “I was only seventeen at the time, but I was selected for the task.”

“So, wait. The girl who, at seven, could wrestle a dire alligator she fished for with her bare hands…needed a bodyguard?” Kazuma asked. 

Claire bristled, but Darkness laughed. “I’ve often said that Claire’s primary responsibility is to protect everyone else from Iris.”

“I did ask to fight in the melee tomorrow, but Claire forbade it,” Iris said with a theatrical sigh and a pouting lip. 

“Uh, yeah. That wouldn’t really be fair,” Kazuma said, and Iris looked up at him with a furrowed brow. “For one thing, what kind of knight would be willing to smack the royal Princess with a mace? Only a major ass-sssertive jerk,” Kazuma rapidly corrected course when both Darkness and Claire shot looks of pure murder at him. “Plus, it would look real bad if all those macho knights got beat up by a little girl. Hurt their pride and stuff.”

“Well, perhaps when I’m older. Jatice jousts, and no one says he isn’t allowed,” Iris said, still pouting slightly. 

Kazuma glanced at Darkness, who clarified, “Her elder brother, the Royal Heir. He’s off fighting in the North at Fort Defiance.”

“What sort of bumpkin doesn’t know who the Crown Prince is?” Claire said with a snort. “You’ve always had terrible taste in men, Tina, but this takes the cake.”

“Kazuma is an Otherworlder, chosen by the gods,” Darkness said coolly. “He has been in Belzerg for only a year, and yet has already defeated four major threats to the kingdom.”

“Oh yes, you simply must tell me about those!” Iris said excitedly. “I’ve heard about Beldia and the Destroyer from Tina’s letters, of course, but what are the other two?”

Kazuma coughed. “Well, um, why don’t I tell you the version of the Belida fight you won’t hear in public. You see, it all started with this chuuni little menace, and her Explosion obsession…”

They arrived at the guild, which was even more packed than usual. Kazuma and Darkness were, of course, instantly recognized and greeted with wild cheers. 

“The hometown heroes who captured the prize for Axel! Three cheers for Kazuma and Darkness!” Dust said, grabbing both their arms and raising them high. 

Darkness blushed cutely, but Kazuma grinned and raised his other arm in a fist. “FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYONE WITH THE PRIZE MONEY SINCE I’M OUT OF DEBT!” 

“KA-ZU-MA! KA-ZU-MA!” the crowd roared, clearly delighted at the prospect. 

Was this what Kazuma had been missing his entire life? To finally have the praise and adoration that he so richly deserved? 

Man, screw these guys. Why weren’t they cheering my name when I needed someone to back me?

So instead, he knelt down in front of Darkness and swept his arms up, pointing towards her, in a pose that would have made Megumin weep for joy. “And let’s not forget Lady Dustiness, who paid to rebuild the town AFTER she helped to save it, because that fat bastard was too cheap to do it!” 

“DARK-NESS! KA-ZU-MA! DARK-NESS! KA-ZU-MA!” 

“K-Kazuma, this is not the sort of embarrassment I enjoy,” Darkness muttered, though she looked rather pleased despite her words. 

Luna bustled forward, shoving aside rowdy adventures and smacking a few of them to get them to quit harassing her girls, before bowing low before Iris and her retainers. 

“Welcome to the Axel Guild Hall, your-”

“Alice,” Darkness interrupted, and Luna paused, still bowing with her head turned towards Darkness. “Um, her name is Lady Alice. She’s, ah…a cousin of mine.”

“I see,” Luna said. Thankfully, she was fast enough on the uptake not to ruin Iris’s ‘cunning disguise.’ “Would you like a private room for your meal?”

“Oh no, I wish to eat in the common room! The ambiance of this place is most charming,” Iris said with a wide grin that made her cheeks dimple. 

“Hmmm,” Luna looked worried, then smiled and nodded. “Of course! We’ll find a booth for you right away!” 

Luna turned away, but Kazuma’s Eavesdropping skill let him pick up her hissed orders to her Guild Girls. “Clear off that one back in the corner, and tell all these ruffians that if one of them so much as looks at the Princess funny, swears, farts, or doesn’t have IMMACULATE table manners, so help me, I will have them clearing out Dung Golems from the sewers for the rest of their natural lives!” 

The guild girls nodded, and Kazuma looked to the side and noticed that Rin had Dust by the ear. 

“Ow, ow! Easy Rin! I know how to behave with a highborn lady, honest!” 

“I swear Dust, if you try and mooch drinks off that sweet thing…”

“I wasn’t, honest! Seriously!”

“Just go make sure those pigs behave themselves! We don’t want to scare away the princess!”

Sheesh. Kazuma knew Iris’ ‘disguise’ wasn’t great, but if Dust and his party could see through it, it was pretty bad. Ah well, she was just a kid, and seemed kinda sheltered. If scary. He had to remember she apparently wrestled alligators for fun. 

The party was seated at the nicest booth (from which a party of Adventurers had hastily evacuated themselves when Luna informed them they were done). From somewhere, Luna produced actual menus. They were on slates of wood, but had engravings of the food on them. Kazuma had never seen those. The Guild Girls normally told you the options. A ‘bowl of brown’, bread, cheese, ale, and whatever the cook had on hand that day for a special. 

“If you’d like, the cook can whip you up something special,” Luna said, coming over with a wax slate herself. Normally she had her minions take the orders, but the Princess got special treatment. 

“I shall have a strawberry neroid, with the battered toad’s legs and coleslaw!” Iris said excitedly. “Cousin Tina wrote me of her adventures, and told me of how delicious such meals were after a hard day of adventuring! I wish to sample them myself.”

“That sounds good, I’ll have the same, but give me an ale,” Kazuma said, handing Luna back his and Iris’ menu. 

“A bowl of brown and some bread for me,” Rain said with a smile. Kazuma was surprised: She looked like a high-class lady, and had to be well bred if she was Iris’ tutor. “It reminds me of my own adventuring days when I was younger…”

Oh, right. These people were all insane. 

“A boar-bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, with the coleslaw,” Claire said. “And a neroid for me, I’m on duty. Mint, if you have it.”

“I, ah, am a bit hungry,” Darkness said, blushing slightly. “I’ll take an entire roast chicken, two loaded potatoes, tossed green salad, and ale.”

“A bit hungry?” Kazuma said, raising an eyebrow at her once Luna had bowed and hurried off with their orders. 

“Tina always did have an appetite,” Claire said with a grin. “I once saw her eat an entire suckling pig.”

“You ate one as well,” Darkness muttered, but she was still blushing in embarrassment. 

“Oh, don’t be like that Tina! I’m still a growing girl, and I have a healthy appetite!” Iris said. “They are going to give me the entire frog leg, aren’t they?” 

The others at the table all blinked at Iris, until Rain said gently, “Ah, Miss Alice…you do realize just how…?” 

But Iris had given it away by ducking under the table to giggle hysterically, and the whole party chuckled along with her. She really was quite adorable, and not nearly as stuck up as Kazuma thought a princess would be. 

Their food came out much faster than Kazuma’s usually did, but he was willing to bet the cooks had dropped whatever they were doing to make the Princess’ food. Phil the cook actually came out with the food himself, and  even put on a clean apron to do it.  Kazuma knew damn well the man’s clothes were usually filthy with grease and sweat. He’d even combed the five hairs he had left on his head. 

“Uh, the boys in the back and me, wese real honored yeh’d come and eat our stuff, Highness, so wese was makin’ this real special like for ya,” Phil said, presenting the Princess’ food. He’d made some sort of fancy looking garnish for Iris’ food, though Kazuma was pretty sure it was just ketchup and mayo mixed together. He’d also put a wilted sprig of paisley on the food, which was slightly hilarious. 

Iris, however, received the food with serious grace and nodded to Phil. “Thank you, Master Chef, for this meal. It looks quite sumptuous.” 

Kazuma had never seen Ole Phil blush before, but the man actually teared up and had to dab at his eyes with his nice clean apron. “Dat means a lot, commin’ from royalty and all. Tanks, swee-uh, I mean, your Highness.”

Iris daintily used her fork and knife to dig into the food, smiling and making pleased noises that nearly had poor Phil bawling. He bowed again and shuffled off towards the kitchen, only to get smacked on the head by Luna.

“Idiot! She was supposed to be in disguise! Did you not see how hard she was working to make us feel comfortable!? Now you’ve gone and ruined the whole thing!” 

“Ow! But everybody knows she’s the Princess, we saw her at the contest and all!” 

“Yes, but if she wants to be incognito then she is damn well incognito! Or do you want to make a Belzerg mad?!”

Phil paled considerably at that, then disappeared. Fortunately, Iris seemed to have missed the byplay, though she was eyeing Kazuma. Actually, everyone was eyeing Kazuma. He paused, made sure to chew his food first, then asked, “What?”

Then he looked around again. Everyone, even Darkness, was using their forks and knives and eating with polite manners. Kazuma, however, had just picked up his greasy fried frog with his fingers, dipped in the admittedly pretty good ketchup and mayo mix, and shoved it in his mouth like usual. 

“Oh! Is this how one dines at this establishment?” Iris asked, setting down her knife and fork. And then, to Claire and Rain’s utter mortification, she grabbed her food with her hands and stuffed it in her mouth.

“Uh, we do still use a fork for the coleslaw,” Kazuma said, holding his up. “That’s a bit messy to use your fingers for.”

“Oh!” Iris blushed prettily and looked deeply embarrassed. “I, um, well, I apologize for-”

“Pff, don’t sweat it. Heck, half the time, people lick their plates clean,” Kazuma said, then demonstrated, though he used his finger to wipe up some sauce and stick his finger in his mouth. 

Giggling, Iris used her napkin to wipe off her fingers, though she did start eating her fried frog sans silverware. Not that the guild used actual silver. Theirs was all pewter. 

During the lunch, Kazuma regaled Iris with tales of their various exploits against giant toads, including the several times that Megumin and Aqua had ended up getting munched on by the hulking amphibians. Iris giggled at the description of their party members popping out and screaming in panic, which Kazuma wrapped up with, “And that’s why we recruited Darkness, because at least then I’d have someone to help me pull them out.”

“Ah, so she shot down all the frogs before they could get close!” Iris said brightly. 

Kazuma’s lips thinned and his eyes slid to Darkness, who had begun fidgeting. 

“Ah…no, I, um, I did not,” Darkness admitted. “Um, you see…i-if I use a bow…it is over too quickly, and, um…n-noone else gets experience…”

“And she doesn’t get beaten up,” Kazuma said in his most acidic tones, which made Darkness flinch. 

Iris cocked her head in confusion, but Claire put her hand over her eyes and groaned, while Rain sighed and shook her head. 

“W-well, I, um…I-I will be, ah…reevaluating my, um, my performance in the party…” Darkness said, still fidgeting. 

“Surely you’re done with all that. It’s been a year, Tina. You’ve had your fun, and it’s high time you got back to your duties, especially with your father so ill,” Claire said. 

Wait, what!? “You’re leaving?!” Kazuma demanded, whirling on Darkness. 

“It…it was inevitable that one day, I would have to return to my duties as ducal heir,” Darkness said quietly, not meeting Kazuma’s eyes. “H-however…that does not mean our party must split…”

“True, Kazuma is skillful enough, I suppose he’d make a good retainer,” Claire said with a nod.

“Yes! Surely you must keep Master Sato around, his stories are most enjoyable!” Iris said eagerly. “And I do wish to meet your other party members, the two Crimson Demons Megumin and Yunyun, and this Archpriest. Such a high level party must surely be useful in keeping the Dustiness lands free of monsters.”

“Yeah I think my party is often best enjoyed from a distance. Preferably out of earshot. You saw Aqua juggling on that damn unicycle earlier,” Kazuma sighed. 

“That was amusing,” Iris giggled. “Does she know many party tricks?”

“All of them, unfortunately,” Kazuma said with a shake of his head. 

Setting her cleaned plate aside, Darkness said. “We should be getting back, the joust will start within the hour.”

“Yeah, sounds good, I’ll get the bill,” Kazuma said, half rising. He paused when Rain, Claire, and even Iris shot him and Darkness scandalized looks. 

“Um, Kazuma…as you are a commoner…it would not be proper for you to pay for the meal of royalty,” Darkness said, putting a hand on his arm. “I will pay for the meal, as I am the hostess.”

“Well, I suppose that’s at least a form of gender equality,” Kazuma said with a shrug, even if he did feel slightly disappointed he couldn’t play the big man and pay for everyone’s food. 

Despite Luna’s best attempts, the entire staff all turned out to bow to Iris and her party when she left, as well as Phil and the cooks in the back. Kazuma was fairly certain he was going to come back to a “Princess Iris Ate Here” sign. Luna would find every opportunity to turn something into a way to improve her bottom line. 

The joust was interesting enough, though all the competitors were out of towners. Just to compete required a full set of plate and a warhorse, which meant that Kazuma was pretty sure that Darkness was about the only person in Axel who could have afforded it. Since she was apparently only accurate at 50 or more meters, she wouldn’t have made it past the first round. Unless…

“I don’t suppose you’re actually a champion jouster too?” Kazuma asked her after watching two knights knock each other flat on their asses. 

“Tina? Are you kidding?” Claire laughed. “I’m no hand with a lance myself, but every time we went at it in the lists she never even scratched my shield!”

“I, um, I am somewhat lacking in mounted combat. To, er, a similar degree as melee,” Darkness admitted. 

“But she gives the best piggy back rides,” Iris said in a stage whisper, which had Kazuma burst out laughing. 

“I take it you’ve spent a lot of time with ‘Cousin Tina,’ then?” Kazuma asked, grinning at Darkness. Though oddly enough, she didn’t seem embarrassed by this fact. 

“Iris’ mother was slain by the forces of the Devil King when she was but an infant,” Darkness said. “She was my mother’s sister, and had helped raise me, as my own mother died of illness not long after I was born. I was twelve, so I stayed at the palace frequently to help care for Iris.”

“I call her Cousin Tina, but really, she’s more like my big sister,” Iris said, giving Darkness a quick hug. “Claire, too! Though she didn’t come along until I was a bit older.” 

Kazuma’s eyebrows shot up. “Onee-chan Darkness?” That was…well, that was kinda cute. 

“And what does that make Rain, then?” Darkness said, tweeking Iris’ nose affectionately. 

Iris blushed and looked down. “Um…Miss Rain…w-well, um, w-when I was younger…I-I would pretend that father would marry her…s-so she could be my real mother…”

“I’m afraid I’m much too low-born for that, and a bit young for your father,” Rain said with a gentle smile, smoothing away the hair from Iris’ forehead and tucking it under her hat. 

“You seemed terribly old to me,” Iris said with a shrug. “And you’re still from a noble family.”

“I’m a baronet's daughter,” Rain explained to Kazuma. “A poor baronette.”

“Yeah, actually, I have no idea what any of that means,” Kazuma said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Darkness did say if she won our bet I’d have to take etiquette lessons, so maybe I’ll be able to tell a viscount from a baron.”

“Oh? What was your bet?” Iris asked curiously. 

“I bet I could beat her at archery,” Kazuma admitted. “In my defense, I’d never even seen her hit the broad side of a barn with her sword.”

“I never could figure out why you’d want to use your sword,” Claire said with a shake of her head. “Your bloodline abilities improve your defenses and archery skills, not your swordsmanship.”

“That’s…huh,” Kazuma blinked. “That’s not real complimentary, is it?” 

“No,” Darkness said, sounding utterly miserable. “I am torn between being a front-line shield, as my House is called, and being a back-line damage dealer. It has…it has been hard to find my place.”

Kazuma suddenly stood. That ball of rage was back in his stomach, and he felt like he was going to be sick. “I gotta piss.”

He stomped off, fighting back tears. He just made out of the box and down the stairs towards the privies when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled, knowing who would be there. “Just leave me alone!” 

“Kazuma, what is wrong? You seemed distraught,” Darkness said, sounding worried. 

Kazuma could barely see through the haze of tears, so he turned back around and tried to stomp away, but he mostly just staggered. “Distraught!? Yeah, I’m pretty fucking distraught! Just…just go away!”

“No, Kazuma,” Darkness said, catching up to Kazuma and guiding him around the side of the building towards the privies. “What is wrong? What is it, something I said?”

“Hard to find your place?!” Kazuma demanded, sticking a finger under her nose. She shied back a little, but didn’t flee. “You’ve got people who give a shit about you! Iris calls you onee-chan! Claire thinks you're her best bud or something! Even Rain seems to like you! And what do I have?!”

“Kazuma, I…I do not understand,” Darkness said, gently taking his hand and folding it between hers. She looked around, biting her lip, then pulled him towards the stables, then into a very fancy white carriage before guiding him inside and shutting the door. 

“This is not the time for a make out session!” Kazuma hissed at her. 

“That is not what I intended. This is the royal carriage; we shall be private in here, and what you were saying did not seem to be the sort of thing one wants aired in public,” Darkness said gently. “Kazuma. Something is bothering you. I can tell.”

“Gee, was it the water works, the angry swearing, or me telling you to fuck off? Which I will note, you didn’t do!” 

“No, I did not think it prudent. Iris was quite concerned when she saw you stomp off,” Darkness said.

“Like she cares about me. I’m just some funny peasant to her,” Kazuma said bitterly, looking around the carriage. Everything was gilded or covered in velvet, and the materials were expensive hardwoods. This thing was as nice as a limo. It was even fairly cool inside, like it was air conditioned or something. 

“I think you misrepresent Iris. She is sheltered and naive, yes, perhaps even moreso than I ever was, but she is also kindhearted. She does not look down at you, Kazuma. Have you noted how she fixates on your every word? She’s desperately starved for companionship, and especially a male figure to look up to. Her father and brother have been largely absent from her life, and she has been left to act as regent from the time she could talk. She spends all day cooped up in the castle, save for rare trips that are all state functions. This one included: Alderp is important enough that his invitation couldn’t simply be ignored, even if he is merely a baron and newly entitled. So to her, you are, as you would say, the coolest person in the world.”

“You…you really think so?” Kazuma asked in a small voice. It was almost painful how much he wanted to hear that. 

“Yes, she has inquired about you often in our letters when I relay your escapades. She might even have something of a crush on you,” Darkness said, smiling slightly and shaking her head. 

“I’m sure you told her I was an idiot you had to keep saving,” Kazuma said bitterly, crossing his arms and looking away. 

“No, Kazuma. I told her that I was an idiot that you had to keep saving.”

Turning, Kazuma found Darkness looking at him intently, and blushed. “I don’t remember saving your ass from anything.”

“You don’t recall the hopeless Crusader that every party had rejected, and yet, you embraced? Or do you remember the young lady who determidly got herself possessed by a general of the Devil King?” 

“Well, I mean, I didn’t really do much with Vanir. You confined him, Aqua purified you, and Megumin blew you up,” Kazuma said, shifting uncomfortably. 

“And,” Darkness’ voice hitched, and Kazuma looked up in surprise. “And when that foolish girl’s stubborn pride got you killed…you…you did not kick her out. You…you called her your friend…and…and even when…even when she was a shameless whore…you never treated her with disgust.”

There it was. Kazuma’s fist tightened, and he closed his eyes. “How…how could you have let me die…when you could have saved me?!” 

“I didn’t have time to get my bow! You should have known I would have been FINE!” Darkness cried, tears leaking down her cheeks. “The shogun couldn’t have killed me, I was nearly certain! He, he would just beat me up a little, I would enjoy it, but, but you stuck your head up! And it was YOU that he struck! I thought you would hate me! I certainly hated myself! So why, Kazuma?! Why didn’t you hate me as much as everyone else always has!?”

“Because I wish I could be half as willing to let my freak flag fly and not give a shit about what anyone thinks as you!” Kazuma snapped. “Also, because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and you actually give me the time of day!” 

“I…wait. You think I’m more beautiful than Aqua!? Kazuma, have you SEEN that woman? I’ve always thought my breasts were too large, I was far too tall, and not to mention I have a less than womanly physique! Aqua is well endowed but not overly so, neither too tall nor too short, has flawless skin, and while she is toned, she is not an overly muscled gorilla like I am!” 

“Darkness, Aqua isn’t even human. Also, she’s dumber than a bag of bricks. Do you know how many times I’ve had to keep her from spending her paycheck on some dumb con, or caught her blowing savings on booze!?”

“I grant you she is less than intellectually brilliant, but some men prefer dumb women. And wait, not human, do you mean…?”

Kazuma fidgeted for a moment, then said in a small voice, “Would you believe me if I said my parents never loved me?”

“I…” Darkness swallowed, then scooted close enough to take Kazuma’s hand. “I will reserve judgment. Why don’t you tell me? You know my secrets, now. I…I would like to know some of yours, Kazuma.”

So, it all came spilling out in a jumbled mess. Dropping out of high school. Hiding in his room for two years. Going out to buy a game with money he got from online gambling. Dying of a heart attack from a stupid tractor. His parents, laughing at his dead corpse. Aqua, offering him a second chance at life. Kazuma, choosing her as his cheat item in a fit of spite. And, somehow, despite it all…finding three best friends. 

“So, uh, Aqua’s a goddess, and I’m a NEET who’s died twice,” Kazuma finished, feeling rather lame. “Guess I can see why you’d prefer Baron Bishi over me.”

“Who is…never mind,” Darkness said, shaking her head and looking a bit poleaxed.  “I had thought there was something odd about Aqua, but…to think I have been adventuring with a literal goddess…”

“Yeah, well, now at least you know why you’re hotter than Aqua,” Kazuma said, then poked Darkness in the abdomen, making her squeak. “Plus, you know some guys find muscles hot, right? Have you never heard of Muscle Mommies?” 

“N-no, I, um, I had not. I-I thought men preferred slim, demure girls,” Darkness said. 

“You do realize that not all men are the same, right? Like, you have to have figured out that not all women share your horrible taste in men, right? What did you say, once? You wanted someone with a beer gut and the face of a thug, or something equally stupid?” Kazuma demanded. 

“P-perhaps. Or, um, perhaps a cunning man, with exotic eyes, a-and a perverse nature.” 

“What, like Dust? You do have horrible taste in men,” Kazuma said.

Darkness rolled her eyes. “Kazuma, I think it’s time you listened to a story of mine for a moment.”

“Alright, fine. Talk away.”

Darkness sighed. “Despite my looks, I was late in getting my womanly courses.”

“You mean your period, right?”

“Kazuma…”

“Fine, fine, lips are sealed.”

“Thank you. Well, Claire and several other noble girls I was familiar with received their courses at the normal time, around the age of twelve or thirteen. But not me. I was coltish, slender, and incredibly clumsy. If you think I am bad now, you should have seen me at fourteen. Well, I did not receive my courses at twelve, thirteen, or even fourteen. I was nearly sixteen before I had my first moon's blood, and I was frightened half to death. My father, bless the man, had never been able to talk to me about it, probably because of his own shame, but that’s a topic for another day. Anyway, I knew something of what to expect, Claire and a few others had at least told me what would happen, but I was frightened I would turn into an ugly, loveless thing.”

“But, well, my courses came, and my body began to change. Greatly. I was still tall, but I got my curves. More than generously, as you can see. And, well…I began to feel…urges. Strong ones. And I did not know what to do with them. But I knew they were…shameful.”

Kazuma had a few choice remarks to say, but that Luck buff must have still been working, because he kept his mouth shut for once in his life. 

“I began to work out. I had always exercised and practiced with the bow and sword, as was expected of me. But I needed MORE. I pushed myself to my limits. I began to sneak out and look for monsters to fight. My family’s primary estate is in the North, so the monsters are much stronger. I encountered a group of Redcaps. I managed to slay several before they were upon me, and they attempted to beat me badly, but of course, they could not. I crushed two with my bare hands, but…but…it was WONDERFUL.”

Shuddering, Darkness hugged herself. “I felt so…alive! The pain, it was so exquisite! I knew I was dirty, knew I was naughty, and they were punishing me! I…I imagined them doing…things…to me. Then I was ashamed. I killed the rest by bashing their heads in with rocks, and went home, hiding my torn and stained clothes. But…but I knew…I needed that. Needed it badly.”

“Others began to notice. Servants talk. They saw my shame, saw that I was becoming a hulking mass of muscles, saw that I sought out beatings. I disgusted Claire when she made me…moan…during a bout. I didn’t see her for nearly three years after that…her excuse was that she left to take care of Iris, but…but I knew. She was disgusted by me.”

Darkness huddled down, hugging herself, tears in her eyes. “I knew I was filthy and worthless. I knew I was bringing shame to my house. For a while, I tried to hide. But after a few years…I couldn’t keep it in. So…so I told my father I was going Adventuring. It’s a tradition for the nobility to have a few years to Adventure. I was a bit old for it, twenty at the time, but still. I came to Axel, met Chris, for a while that was enough. She…she accepted me. As perverse as I was. No one else would. They knew what a freak I was, how ugly I was, and wanted nothing to do with me.”

“But then…then I met you. You were a strange man. An outlander. You were known to be a worthless sort, the kind who drank away his wages and lost to the most pathetic of foes, giant toads. But…but I thought…maybe you…you would abuse me the way you did others. And you did! Only…only you also accepted me.”

“I didn’t know what to make of you at first,” Kazuma admitted. “I mean, here’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, clearly a high-class girl…and she wants to be in my party!? I mean, yeah, I had you pegged as a degenerate, and you were completely worthless skills wise, but…but shit. Megumin’s just some crazy kid, Aqua’s a drunk goddess, I’m a worthless NEET. You…you just…fit in.”

“But that’s the rub, Kazuma. I…I did fit in. I felt like I did. And…and I had never felt like I fit in anywhere else. You saw who I was…and you didn’t judge me. You just…accepted me,” Darkness said, her voice raw, tears in her eyes. “And I thought I’d ruined everything, again, when you found out I could actually be useful in the party…”

“Meh. Ditch the bow. I like you better as a meat shield,” Kazuma said.

“That…” Darkness swallowed, laughed, and wiped away some tears. “That might be the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“Yeah, well, you still owe me for my dying that one time. You’re lucky I got better.”

“I…I am. How…how can I ever repay you?” Darkness said.

Kazuma reached out and squeezed her boob, making her moan. “I can think of a few ways.”

He pulled himself closer, and Darkness melted into him, wrapping her arms about him as he pressed his mouth to hers. They locked lips and-

“There you are, Cousin Tina! I- OH!” 

Darkness and Kazuma sprang apart like they’d been shocked as the door swung open and a wide eyed Iris looked up at them. Claire and Rain were right behind her, equally bug eyed. 

“Oh for Eris’- Fine, Highness, we will simply ride horses to the manor,” Claire said in exasperation, and slammed the door shut. 

But not before Kazuma saw a wide grin appear on Iris’s face. The shut door didn’t silence the squeal from her either. 

Kazuma and Darkness sat in silence for a moment, until Darkness said meekly, “Um, we should go after them…”

“Yeah, in a minute,” Kazuma told her. “I wasn’t done with your apology yet.”

By the time they caught up to Iris and Claire, Kazuma and Darkness were both out of breath, and Darkness had to hide an interesting welt on her neck. But at least that ball of rage in Kazuma’s belly was gone. Mostly. He still had a certain fat asshole he had a score to settle with. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 6

Animula Choragi 6: Gott! Welch Dunkel hier!

“And I’m telling you that if you don’t release my sister right now, I’m going to call Judge Dupont and have you and your entire department up on charges! I already showed you her cape license, and I’ve proven I’m a Captain in the Knights of Favonius!” 

Yennifer glared at the police sergeant, who took a drag on his cigarette, then made to blow smoke in her face. He paused as Yennifer’s antlers crackled ominously, then turned his head to the side. “Yes, Monsieur?” 

Starting, Yennifer turned to see Iron Mask beside her. She hadn’t even heard him approach, even with those odd shoes of his. 

“Let the girl go. She was defending the collection, and without her it would have been stolen. Plus, she’s best friends with the Mayor’s daughter. You don’t want that sort of heat on you, eh?” 

“Merde,” the sergeant muttered, and shook his head. “Fine! We’ll release the girl.” He got up to do just that, and Yennifer turned to the Iron Mask.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

He grunted, his mask a twisted visage of stoicism. “Consider it a favor. I don’t need to owe you damned Knights anything. If I weren’t absolutely certain you weren’t responsible for that fracas, I’d lock you, your sister, and that friend of yours up. As it is…stay the fuck out of my business, and I’ll stay out of yours.”

And with that, the arschloch turned around and strode away. Yennifer thought of half a dozen pithy remarks, but bit them all and hurried to go check on her sister and Furina. 

Thankfully, despite having been arrested, again, Charlotte was in high spirits. “So, Officer, do you have any statement regarding the Republic of France’s seizure of the museum's older weapons?”

The officer in question just kept motionless, black visor pointing over Charlotte’s head as she stood, handcuffed to him. Her Vision was being held by another officer, Charlotte having voluntarily surrendered it, though Otto was standing nearby, keeping an eye on things. 

“How about you, Captain von Dresch? Can you comment on the museum heist, or the presence of TWO captains of the Knights of Favonius on the scene?” Charlotte demanded. 

Otto glanced at Yennifer as she hurried up, then shrugged. “I was in the city to negotiate a compact between the Musketeers and the Knights, especially in regards to Fatui aggression. When Iron Mask was called up, I merely offered to join him in an attempt to promote cooperation between our two organizations.” 

“I see, I see. And you, Miss Lustria, what do you have to say?” Charlotte asked, raising an eyebrow at Yennifer. 

“I’m turning the chatterbox over to you, ma’am,” the officer said, undoing the handcuffs and letting Charlotte go. 

Immediately, Charlotte flung herself on Yennifer, eyes squeezed shut, tears wet on her cheeks. So, perhaps she hadn’t been as nonplussed as she’d seemed. Yennifer gave her a quick squeeze back and kissed the top of her head. “It’s alright, Lotte.”

“I was scared. Is it always like that?” Charlotte said, her voice muffled as her face was pressed against Yennifer’s chest. 

“No. Sometimes, it’s much, much worse,” Yennifer said, feeling sick. She was back in Riga again. The bodies, everywhere. Torn about and tossed aside like broken dolls in the wake of Eidolon's destruction, or with their guts torn out, coughing up blood after the Thief was done with them. What could someone like her do in the face of such power? 

That made her think of something else, and she turned to Otto. “Where is Furina?” 

He nodded to the side, where Yennifer now spied an anxious-looking Furina peering at her, biting her lip and looking horribly worried. A part of Yennifer was angry. Why hadn’t Furina done anything? Wasn’t she actually the Hydro Archon?

Only…only Furina had done what she could. She seemed to have absolutely no powers, as she’d said. She’d clearly been terrified, but she’d worked to evacuate civilians and provide first aid, though it had been clear she had zero training to do either. 

But when she cries…it rains. It couldn’t just be a coincidence. Could it? 

Seeing Yennifer looking at her, Furina waved frantically, until an officer shoved her back. And not gently, Furina was knocked off her feet, and looked up, horrified as the officer loomed over her. 

“Go get her, sis,” Charlotte said quietly. “I’ll get my Vision back and come find you.”

Nodding, Yennifer stalked over, and was sorely tempted to shove the spatsi officer over herself, but didn’t. “Just what do you think you’re doing to my client?!”

The officer rounded on Yennifer, raising his baton, then paused. “You? You’re the joke cape, aren’t you? The fuck do you care what I do?”

“I’m an attorney,” Yennifer hissed, her blood boiling at the insult. Always she was derided. When had this asshole ever faced down a Harbinger? When had he stood his ground against the Fatui, instead of just bullying civilians? He called himself an officer, but he was just a thug. “And that is excessive force.”

“Oh? What are you going to do, sue me?” the officer asked, lowering his batton, amusement in his voice. “This isn’t Germany, so ta gueule and -”

“She is NOT an animal, you swine!” 

Yennifer winced as a furious-looking Furina hauled herself up. And then Yennifer saw the tears in Furina’s eyes. Huh, it wasn’t even-

It started raining. And the harder Furina cried, hiccups wracking her body, the more it poured. 

“Merde! I’m not paid enough for this, get out of here, both of you! Damned insane weather!  Curse all Archons and their damned war!” 

The officer scrambled away, looking for cover, and Yennifer just stood there, getting soaked, and wondering. Then Furina threw herself at her, clutching tightly at Yennifer, still wracked with sobs. 

“I was s-so worried! I-I thought I was going to die, again, o-or worse, y-you and Charlotte! And these so-called Gardes! They’re nothing but thugs! They don’t seem to give a single thought to Justice, only brutality!”

“Welcome to Earth Bet,” Yennifer said quietly, closing her eyes and squeezing Furina tightly. She didn’t understand all of this. She wasn’t some super-powered cape. Her powers were so damn useless, she would have been better off without them. She knew what it was like to live in fear of titans, but fight on regardless. “I’m afraid life here is quite dark, if you don’t live in a land blessed by an Archon. And I’m afraid France’s is missing at the moment. I don’t suppose you’ve seen her, have you?”

“Not in 500 years,” Furina whispered. “She left me to die, too.” 

Yennifer stiffened. Five hundred-!? Surely that just had to be some sort of expression. There was simply no way. 

“Well, let’s find Charlotte and get out of the rain at least,” Yennifer said, separating from Furina, who was still crying, though not as hard. Which meant the rain was slackening as well. How…? She didn’t understand. She had thought she was smart. She was a damned good lawyer, and more perceptive than most. But she just didn’t understand this, at all. 

Lord Barbatos, why didn’t you send someone more capable to handle all this?

To be honest, Yen, I don’t think I could have found anyone who was. 

Yennifer stiffened as the warm breeze wrapped about her, then yelped and used her hands to keep her skirt down. That had sounded…but no. Lord Barbados wouldn’t give her a Marylin Monroe moment, would he?

“You know, they say when a woman’s skirt is flipped, it’s Barbatos’ fault,” Furina muttered, blushing and pushing her own skirt down, her cheeks aflame. Her eyes got that distant expression, the one that told Yennifer that Furina was experiencing the same sort of painful memories she did. Memories of Riga. Of finding Cookie in bed with Blake. She shuddered. That wasn’t how an Archon would behave, was it? 

She didn’t really know. Naomi and Capri had mentioned that Venti got a sad, faraway look sometimes. When the chipper mask slipped, there was unfathomable sadness beneath it. 

They found Charlotte standing under an umbrella of ice with Otto and Barbara, and with a woman whom Yennifer recognized. She’d only ever seen Jeanne d’Orleans on television, but she had spoken to the other woman over the phone a few times. She looked older in person, with more bags under her eyes and crow's feet to boot, but that was probably just the fact that she seemed to have on little makeup. She was still immaculately dressed in a black pantsuit, her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. 

“-thank you again, Charlotte. For keeping Barbara safe,” Jeanne was saying.

“Honestly, ma’am, I was trying to keep both of us from being killed! Those scoundrels came out of nowhere, but I knew they had to be after the weapons!” Charlotte said, her grin firmly back in place. “First time I’ve used my Vision for more than keeping my drink cool, really.”

“We’ll have to see about getting you some proper training then,” Jeanne said, giving Charlotte a tired smile. 

“I’m afraid any such discussions would have to go through me,” Yennifer said firmly, and inserted herself between Jeanne and her sister. She stuck out a wet hand. “Yennifer Lustria. I’m Charlotte’s older sister and guardian. We’ve spoken over the phone.”

“Yen!” Charlotte squawked, peering over Yennifer’s shoulder. 

“Ah, Captain Lustria,” Jeanne said, nodding and taking Yennifer’s hand. “I have you to thank as well for keeping those criminals pinned down until Iron Mask could arrive and handle the situation. We owe the Knights of Favonius a great debt today, but I a far more personal one. Of course, any discussion of training for your sister would involve you.”

“Glad to hear it,” Yennifer said, forcing a smile. It was hard for her to know just how much to smile in Paris. In Germany, the correct amount of smiling was “as little as possible in any business situation,” but she was never quite sure in France. 

“Yen! I totally want training to use my super awesome powers!” Charlotte hissed, thankfully in German. It was a near certainty that Jeanne spoke German, but at least Charlotte was making even an attempt at discretion. Especially since Charlotte’s German was quite bad. 

“Be polite, say what you mean in French,” Yennifer said evenly. She smiled at Barbara as well, who was standing quietly and looking embarrassed. “I’m glad both you girls are safe. Hopefully, most of your reporting isn’t this exciting.”

At that, Barbara grinned back, perking up immediately. “Oh no! It was quite exciting! I got it all on film, too!”

“Which will be turned in as evidence,” Jeanne said firmly. 

“But mother, we-”

“Will submit the footage as evidence, as is proper, Barbara. We have a duty to the city, and it isn’t for that silly website,” Jeanne said firmly. 

Barbara stiffened but jerked a nod. “...yes, mère.” 

“Perhaps they could make a copy?” Furina said, speaking for the first time. “It would be a shame for our intrepid reporters to have nothing to show for their heroism. Besides, I get the impression that these gardes are not as careful with evidence as one might hope for.” 

“Ah. That…might be for the best,” Jeanne said, making a face. 

Barbara and Charlotte both nodded eagerly at that, and Yennifer inclined her head. “That seems to be wise. That would also be evidence, should your innocence be called into question again.”

“The very nerve!” Furina huffed, puffing out her chest in obvious outrage. “These young heroines did all they could to protect the museum, even going so far as to confront the villains themselves, and these poor excuses for officers arrested them and confiscated Charlotte’s Vision! That is a gross miscarriage of Justice!” 

A shiver ran down Yennifer’s spine when she heard Furina say “Justice.” She could feel the emphasis Furina put on the word. Was it supernatural, such as when Venti spoke of freedom, or was it simply their shared passion for the Law and its proper conduct? It was hard to know. 

“Yes, I am afraid I agree,” Jeanne said with a heavy sigh. “But these are USIP, not PM.” 

Furina’s eyes shot to Yennifer, and she clarified, “They’re the Unité Spéciale d'Intervention Parahumaine, a national Parahuman Response Task Force. Not the Préfet de police de Paris, the city police force, which is also their own department. She just has the Police Municipale, which are the unarmed offices you see.  All that to say these thugs are not under Jeanne’s authority, as she’s the mayor.”

“Oh. Oh!” Furina hastily dipped a flawless curtsy. “I apologize, Madame Mayor, I did not realize you were such an important official.” 

“Right now, I am merely Barbara’s mother,” Jeanne said, giving Furina a tired smile. “Though I confess, this sort of thing seems to happen all too regularly. Both the attack and the brutality of those who are supposed to be protecting us.” 

“It’s alright, mother. I know it’s not your fault,” Barbara said quietly. 

Jeanne shook her head. “It is my duty to safeguard all the people of this city and ensure their freedom. You might be the one most precious to me, but the fact that even my own daughter can be swept up and arrested by overzealous police is a problem I must address. What if it had been someone without your and Charlotte’s connections? Would you be hauled away to languish in a cell, as so many others have?”

“Without even a trial!?” Furina gasped, true horror coming over her face. The rain suddenly intensified, and Yennifer could see fresh tears of anger and frustration on Furina’s cheeks. 

“So the laws of the Republic of France say. Much has changed since the fall of the Fifth Republic. The new government is…harsh…in its dealing with those perceived as criminals,” Yennifer said bitterly. “But what is written in the law is not always just in this world.”

“Then we must work to change it. Come, Barbara. I’m afraid there will be much work for me to do today, and I want to see you home safe,” Jeanne said. She nodded to Charlotte and Yennifer, adding, “I’ll contact you later about training for young Miss Charlotte. Not through the Mousquetaires, I think. There are a few independent Vision Holders who might help. Good evening.”

With that, Jeanne and Barbara headed for a black car with an obvious bodyguard standing beside it, made even more obvious by the glowing Dendro Vision on his lapel. 

That left Furina, Charlotte, and Yennifer standing in the unseasonal rain. They walked quietly for a few moments, until Charlotte suddenly hugged Furina. “Thanks for the rain! Without it, I don’t think I ever could have raised the barrier. It’s much harder to form solid ice without liquid water around.”

“Oh!” Furina was so startled, the rain came to a sudden stop, and Charlotte grinned even wider. “Um, I don’t know why you’d thank me for the rain.”

“Well, didn’t, you know,” Charlotte whirled her finger in the air. 

“Ah, no. I did tell you I don’t have any powers, didn’t I? Unless you count my sudden facility with languages. Which, might I point out, are distinctly unhelpful in a fight,” Furina sighed. 

“But-” Charlotte shot a confused look at Yennifer, who could only shrug. 

“I don’t think she had anything to do with it, Lotte. I did hear from Lord Barbatos, and he is the Angel of Winds. Perhaps he sent us the rain,” Yennifer suggested. She was nearly certain Furina didn’t have anything to do with it. Nearly. 

“I heard from him too, actually,” Furina said quietly. “He thought I was Focalors. I yelled at him, actually. I was very upset. He apologized and said he couldn’t or wouldn’t interfere, which made me rather cross with him. What’s the point in actually being an Archon with powers if you don’t use them to help people?”

“But, you…” Charlotte trailed off, eyes narrowing. “Fancy that. The rain stopped.”

“Oh, I guess it did,” Furina said, looking up at the sky. “Well, I’m too soaked for it to matter much now. You know, in Fontaine, we used to sing a children’s song when it rained. 

Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon

Don’t you Cry

Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon

Smile in the Sky

Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon

Let rain pass me by

Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon

Spread your wings and fly

It was a silly, rhyming ditty that Furina sang. Her voice was clear and sweet, but not supernaturally so. Just a woman with plenty of vocal training singing an old tune. 

“Huh. Well, maybe Keiga was crying,” Charlotte said, though she sounded skeptical.

“Oh, are they the Hydro Dragon here?” Furina asked curiously. “It was Monsieur Neuvillette. I asked him, once, if his tears caused the rain. He never did answer me properly.” 

“Keiga is one of the two dragons of Japan,” Yennifer explained as they made their way to the Metro station. “She has been called the Hydro Dragon, and she does have incredible water powers. I heard she summoned a rain at Loy Yang that healed every hero on the field and nearly drowned the Behemoth.”

“I saw the footage! Yeah, she did, though I don’t think she was crying. More singing,” Charlotte mused. 

“There’s just so much I don’t know,” Furina whispered, shrinking in on herself. 

“It’s alright. You did good today,” Yennifer told her, giving Furina’s arm a squeeze. Furina gave her a questioning look, and Yennifer elucidated, “You helped evacuate those civilians, and administered first aid. You never trained as a first responder, did you?”

“No, I just…I couldn’t stand by and see another tragedy unfold while I did nothing,” Furina admitted. 

“Well, you did something. That’s what matters,” Yennifer said. 

They ended up heating up some leftovers Furina had brought home from work for dinner, then an exhausted Furina and Charlotte collapsed. Yennifer checked her messages, then stepped outside onto the balcony and put her phone to her ear. After two rings, there was a familiar, 

“Guten Tag, hier est von Dresch.”

“Guten tag, Kapitän von Dresch.” 

“No need to be so formal, or shall I call you Kapitän Lustria?” Vornehm’s amused voice said. 

“No, of course not. I saw your message. Furina is safe, sleeping. She’s worn out,” Yennifer said, leaning on the railing. 

“Hmm. I have to ask, Yennifer…is she? I had thought she was, well, the Hydro Archon. But after today…I am not so certain. There was that rain…” Von Dresch said.

“No, Otto. No, I don’t think so. I heard the voice of Lord Barbados during the battle. If anyone sent the rain, it was him. Not Furina,” Yennifer said, feeling exhausted. 

“Ah. I see. I had simply assumed…”

“So did I. So did the Grandmaster, methinks. But no, Otto. She’s just a woman, like us. Did you see how frightened she was? I don’t think anyone has ever seen Venti scared. Not even of Scion, or of the Tsaritsa.”

“Hmm. Fate has been cruel to her, then. Though there was one odd thing. She spoke Basque flawlessly. That couple, the one she helped, was from Saint-Jean-de-Luz. Native speakers. They speak French, of course, I don’t speak Basque myself. But I can recognize it.”

“She has odd magic. She can make her hair grow out at the snap of a finger. She had a bob cut this morning,” Yennifer said with a tired smile. “The ability with languages seems to be another. I assume that is simply due to the transfer from her home.”

“I see. I did some checking, and well, there have been no Hydro Visions. I was surprised, but…well. She must not be the Archon then. A shame. She seems rather different from the Tsaritsa.”

“Oh that I can agree with, Furina being different from the Ice Bitch, at least. As for her not being an angel…well, I suppose that would be a heavy burden to bear, would it not?” 

“Indeed. Well, thank you for answering an old man’s questions, Yennifer. I won’t trouble you further. Do give my regards to your sister. She saved many lives today with her bold actions. A remarkable young woman. We could use her in the Knights.”

Fury rose up in Yennifer, and she had to fight back a snarl. Her baby sister would never experience the horrors that Yennifer had in the war, not if Yennifer could do anything about it. “I think she’s destined for another life, Otto. She’s too young to be fed into the grist mill.”

“True enough. You do all seem so young to me. Good night, Miss Lustria.”

“Good night, Mr. von Dresch.” 

Yennifer hung up, then went to go look at Furina, who was passed out in bed. She was tossing and turning, having thrown off the covers, and mewling softly, obviously having a nightmare. Gently, Yennifer reached out, and put a soothing hand on Furina’s arm. She jerked awake instantly, gasping for breath, her odd pupils dilated. 

“No, no, no! Charlotte, Yennifer, you can’t drown, I-I…it was just a nightmare…”

“It’s alright,” Yennifer said, sitting on the bed and taking Furina’s hands. “You’re not in Fontaine anymore. You’re not alone.”

“No…I…I suppose I’m not,” Furina said quietly. She shuddered. “You know…this is the first time in my life I think I’m not alone. I always had so many people around me, but I could never talk to them, really. Could never show any weakness. Archons don’t have any weakness. But I was always so afraid…so afraid they’d learn the truth. That I was no Archon. Just an actress. A frightened woman alone on stage.”

Yennifer’s heart melted all over again, and she decided. No. Furina was not the Hydro Archon. But she was Yennifer’s friend. And that was what mattered. 

“Well, I think I prefer you this way anyway,” Yennifer said. “Come on. Let’s get to bed. And if we have nightmares…we can hold one another.”

“I’ve heard you, whimpering in your sleep,” Furina said as Yennifer got up to change. She fiddled with the sheets, looking away as Yennifer pulled off her shirt and dress for an oversized shirt and shorts. The nights were getting warmer every day, with summer soon upon them. “Do you…do you relive the war?”

“Yes,” Yennifer said quietly. “I see…I see those I could not save. Charlotte. You. Those I care for, dead on the battlefield. Because of my failure. Because I’m weak.”

“I don’t think you’re weak,” Furina said. “You fought those villains, with their guns, and odd powers.”

“Them? They were nothing.  You should have seen the Thief. He’s a Fatui Harbinger. Him…he would send ice to your very bones,” Yennifer said, shuddering and crawling into bed. 

“I…I can imagine. The Knave…she made my skin crawl, just looking at her. The one time I thought she would kill me…I nearly fainted. I couldn’t even move, I was so afraid,” Furina whispered. 

They ended up holding on to one another after that, both of them lost in their own thoughts. But then they remembered  they were no longer alone. It was comforting, in ways Yennifer couldn’t describe. She would have liked to be able to say that after that, her dreams were untroubled. 

Instead, she dreamed of running down endless museum halls in the dark, crying out for Charlotte and Furina. But when she awoke, weeping and trembling, Furina was there. 

We’re both so broken, Yennifer thought to herself. Where is the Justice in that?

She couldn’t know that Furina dreamed herself. Dreamed of looking up at the stars…and finding Yennifer there.

Justice would be done. Even if she was as yet, unawares. 

The Broad Side of a Barn, Chapter 4

The day of the Tourney dawned, and for once, Kazuma was up early. Despite himself, he was filled with nervous jitters, having spent the night tossing and turning. What if Darkness really did end up marrying Alderp, or worse, his bishi son? The big blonde pervert might enjoy the experience, but dammit, what was Kazuma’s party to do without a proper tank!? 

Plus, if she left, that meant no more baths with her, and Kazuma sort of thought that maybe this route had an H Scene in it somewhere. Maybe. Not that he was interested or anything, he just didn’t want to lose, dammit!

He stomped down the stairs to the kitchen, the sun just barely peeking up over the horizon. To his surprise, he found Darkness already up, dressed in that same weird white and black dress, though she didn’t have the breastplate on yet. She was hunched over the stove, where she had a large pot of water on, and was muttering over a cookbook. 

“What are you doing?” Kazuma said, which caused Darkness to squeak and look up in surprise. 

“Ah! Kazuma, I…um, well. I was attempting to poach an egg, if you must know.” 

Kazuma eyed the boiling water and the basket of fresh eggs. “Why?” 

“Um, it was…it was a tradition of my mother’s. She would always have poached eggs before a competition. However, I, ah, I am not quite familiar with the preparation of poached eggs, so…” Darkness shrugged helplessly and gestured to the book. “I am aware one must boil water first…”

“Oh give it here,” Kazuma said, snatching the book from Darkness. “You’re a lousy cook anyway. You always try to make these complicated dishes and botch them. Just stick with something simple.”

Darkness proceeded to pout, but Kazuma ignored her. “Lucky you I’ve got the Cooking skill. Now, grab me some vinegar. Hmm, we should have rice with these.”

“Why rice? They are traditionally served on toast,” Darkness said, handing Kazuma a bottle of vinegar.

“I’m Japanese. For us, it’s not a real meal without rice,” Kazuma told her, cracking the eggs into a sieve before transferring them into a small dish. He added the vinegar to the boiling water, then swirled it expertly, letting his Cooking Skill do the heavy lifting. Within a few minutes, he had half a dozen perfectly poached eggs. Darkness produced some cold cooked rice, which they quickly heated on the stove as well. Then they dished up the eggs: Four for darkness, and two for Kazuma. 

“T-this is not a fair distribution, you are the one who worked hard, it should be three and three,” Darkness protested weakly. 

“Yeah, and you’re half a head taller and like five kilos heavier than me. Eat your damn protein, you blonde gorilla.” 

“T-that is not the sort of abuse…” Darkness began, but she was panting and blushing so much that Kazuma just smirked at her. 

“Yeah it is. Eat up, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you marry sparkle princess. Maybe we can murder Alderp later.”

“K-Kazuma, do not joke about that! He is a peer of the realm and the Lord of Axel!”

“Hmph. Well, maybe I’m still salty about you volunteering to marry him,” Kazuma grumbled. 

“And here I didn’t take you for the jealous type,” Darkness chuckled. Kazuma glared at her, but she just worked at putting away her eggs and rice. She even got a couple of apples and ate them too, giving Kazuma a handful of slices, and she drank an entire pitcher of milk! 

They were just finishing breakfast when Megumin bounded into the kitchen, cape a-swirl. “Haha! Good morning, my faithful companions! Today, you shall truly witness the GLORY OF EXPLOSION MAGIC! Now, give me my victuals, that I may break my fast in true Crimson Demon fashion!” 

“There’s rice, and some fruit,” Kazuma told her. Megumin devoured it eagerly, though she barely sat down long enough to shove the food into her gullet before she was up and about again. “I depart now to locate Wiz and Yunyun. You will both come to witness my cataclysmic demonstration of power, will you not!?”

“Of course we will, Megumin,” Darkness said, then kicked Kazuma under the table. He’d been about to say something along the lines of “we’d see your chuuni firecracker from anywhere you little menace” but instead said. 

“Don’t worry, Megumin. We’ll be here to see you rob those suckers blind with your Explosion.”

“Mwahahaha! Of course! The glory and wealth both shall be mine today!” With a dramatic swirl of her cloak, Megumin vanished. Or more accurately, she continued to make enough noise to be heard from a kilometer away, but out of line of sight. 

She hadn’t been gone long when Aqua stumbled out of her room, yawning and still dressed in her pajamas. “Ugh, good morning. Why is everyone so loud today?” 

“It’s the tournament, you lazy good-for-nothing!” Kazuma growled. “And we need you! If Darkness has any hope of not placing dead last, you’re going to have to buff her!” 

“Kazuma, buffs are strictly forbidden in the tournament, and Break Spell is used on all participants before each round of the competition. If they find any illegal enhancements on you, you’ll automatically be disqualified!” Darkness protested. 

“Oh, really?” Kazuma asked, his eyes narrowing. He turned to Aqua, who similarly had a conniving expression on her face. 

“Kazuma…Aqua…what are you two planning?” Darkness demanded, her hands clenching into fists. “Do not sabotage this!” 

“I’m wondering…do they blanket ban all buffs…or do they have a specific list of them?” Kazuma asked slowly. 

“I, uh…well…honestly, I’m not sure?” Darkness said, shaking her head. “The rules of the tournament would be the standard Royal Rules of Tourney Play, and to call them exhaustive is an understatement. They are contained in a rather thick and dusty tome that would be at the tournament itself, but I have not read them myself. You are not the first to think they have found a clever and creative way to circumnavigate the rules.”

“What say we head over there early, so that I can peruse them, eh?” Kazuma said, rubbing his fingers. “We wouldn’t want to accidentally break the rules.”

“Yeah! There’s not a mage alive who can cast a Break Spell that would stop my magic!” Aqua huffed. 

“This is unwise. We will not need your buffs to compete, Aqua,” Darkness said firmly, then skewered Kazuma. “So you will not do anything to jeopardize this, Kazuma. I forbid it.”

“Oh yeah?” Kazuma said, his eyes narrowing at Darkness. “And what if you can’t even hit the damn target?”

“If that happens, then Aqua may buff you and I to her heart's content,” Darkness said, sounding rather exasperated. “But until and unless I either grant you leave, or miss a single target, no buffs.”

“Yeah, well, I’m getting my hands on a copy of those stupid rules anyway,” Kazuma grumbled. 

They managed to leave not long after that, with Aqua changing quickly enough into her usual garments while Darkness saddled up her horse, which Kazuma discovered was named Buttercup. 

“Shh, it’s alright, Kazuma is a friend,” Darkness said, stroking the horse’s muzzle. Buttercup eyed Kazuma sceptically, which Kazuma returned in the same spirit. The horse looked like it could kick the head in of a Whitefang, which incidentally, was both accurate and something Buttercup had been trained exactly to do. 

“She’s very protective of me, I’ve had her since I was a girl. She was a gift for my tenth birthday, and I helped raise her from a foal,” Darkness explained. 

“Uh huh. I don’t suppose horses in this world eat flesh and drink blood?” Kazuma asked, keeping well back from Buttercup. 

“What? How on earth did you get that idea, Kazuma?” Darkness asked, sounding completely baffled. 

“Hey, people grow mackerel like it’s a weed here and the vegetables want to kill you, so I just get jumpy, you know? Plus, that thing looks like she could take a bite out of me!” Kazuma protested. 

“Nonsense. Buttercup is a sweetie. She only bites the heads off goblins,” Darkness said, giving the horse a sugar cube. Kazuma looked at her aghast, and for a moment, she met his expression ambivalently. Then she broke down in giggles, hugging her horse. 

“Very funny! Sure YOU can laugh about it! You’d probably enjoy it if that thing tried to bite your fingers off!” 

“Oh wow, that’s a pretty pony, Darkness. I call front!” Aqua said, skipping into the barn. 

“Er, Aqua, you ah-” Darkness began, but Aqua flounced over and produced an apple out of nowhere, which Buttercup eyed longingly, then glanced at Darkness with a pleading expression. 

“Oh, very well, but I’ll have to work you twice as hard tomorrow,” Darkness sighed, and the horse destroyed the apple in one bite. This was why Kazuma didn’t trust animals. 

The ride to the tourney wasn’t as interesting as the one the night before, with Aqua’s presence ruining any chances at fun times. They did arrive early enough, before most of the crowds did, and made their way over to the stands where the archery tournament would be held. It was the first event of the day, with the joust taking place in the afternoon and the melee on the following day. 

Kazuma hit up the judges stand, asking to see the book of rules. 

“Eh? You want to read that old thing? Don’t tell me, you think you’ve found some loophole you can exploit,” an old man with a short white beard and spectacles said. He hauled out a book nearly as big as Kazuma’s chest and with a grunt, set it on the table. “Well, be my guest. But if they draw and quarter you, don’t blame me.”

Kazuma eyed the book, then sighed and started flipping through it. He found the section on banned “enhancements” easily enough, and sure enough, it was a list. 

“The list of banned potions includes Potion of Giant Strength, Elixir of Giant Strength, Quaft of Giant Strength, Draught of Giant Strength…”

He skipped through it, as he didn’t care about potions, and read through some of the banned spells. After a few more minutes, he closed the book and walked away, the old man muttering about “uppity young whippersnappers.” But he had what he needed. 

Darkness had gone to do some paperwork or something, so Kazuma wandered over to check out the competition. There were a few faces Kazuma recognized, but most of them were clearly from out of town. For one thing, the locals all had worn but functional gear, while the out of towners were wielding what looked like exotic materials. Kazuma wasn’t an expert, but he figured that several bows were made from dragon bone and other even more exotic stuff, like wood that glowed softly green and one that looked to be made of rock of all things. 

“Hey hey, Kazuma, what’s up?” a familiar man in blue said, waving to Kazuma and he went over to exchange a fist bump.

“They let you compete, Keith?” Kazuma asked.

“Hey, at least I’m an Archer. You’re just an Adventurer and they let you in,” Keith chortled. He was one of Dust’s party members, and had teamed up with Kazuma on occasion. Usually to visit the Happy Ending Cafe, aka, the Succubus Shop. 

 “An Adventurer? I guess Alderp will let anyone compete if they can pay the fee,” a blue-eyed, blonde haired woman in high-heeled red boots and red manticore leathers said, sneering at Kazuma. Her bow was one of the dragonbone ones, and her drawling accent screamed “snooty noble.” 

“Hey, I wouldn't rule Kazuma out. I’ve seen him Snipe giant toads from 200 yards!” Keith said, and several of the other male Adventurers nodded and chuckled. They’d all lost a few bits or drinks to Kazuma when they’d had impromptu archery competitions behind the guild. 

“Giant toads?” a man in green with a big stone bow said, pronouncing his words like had a case of lockjaw. “How parochial of you. It’s so charming when one visits the countryside. Giant toads. A marvel they survive here. Must not be anything more threatening than a Bane around these parts.”

“It is Axel,” the red woman said with a sniff. “Nothing by hay and hayseeds as far as the eye can see.”

Kazuma’s gorge rose, and he stalked over, puffing out his chest, despite the fact that he came up to the man’s chin and the woman’s nose, he tried to glare down at them. “I don’t know who you assholes are, but I’m Kazuma Sato. I’m the guy who took out Beldia AND the Destroyer!”

Instead of being suitably impressed, vulpine grins spread across the faces of the two snooty outsiders. 

“Oh, so you’re the one,” the woman sniggered. “Well, I had thought dearest Alderp was giving us a challenge, what with having us go against the daughter of Deadeye Alice, but a simple Adventurer? You’ve not even a drop of noble blood in your veins I wager.”

“That does take the sport out of it I suppose. Perhaps I should shoot with my off hand, keep things interesting,” the man guffawed. 

Kazuma was about to tell them exactly what he could do with his off hand, when Darkness strode up. “Ah. Lady Kocher, and Sir Steit. I have been informed you are Baron Alexei’s champions this day. And I see you have already met Master Sato.”

“These are the clowns you warned me about?” Kazuma asked, gesturing to the two twits. “Come on, Darkness. I could take these two blindfolded.”

“Ah, Lady Dustiness. This is the man you’ve wagered on? Poor bet. Though I do suppose I can understand. Walter is a rather handsome lad, isn’t he?” the man, who was apparently Sir Steit, said. 

Darkness regarded Steit flatly. “Walter is a fine and upstanding gentleman, but my heart belongs to another. And I have placed my wager far more carefully than the baron. You would do well not to underestimate Master Sato.”

“Oh please. No need to try to save face now. It’s a bit late for your family in that regard, isn’t it?” Lady Kocher tittered. 

Darkness slowly turned to Kocher, who quit tittering and paled. She was tall, though still a bit shorter than Darkness, and not nearly so stout. “Do you call my family honor into question, Viscountess Kocher.”

“Ah, well, no, I, ah, misspoke. Your pardon, Lady Dustiness,” Kocher said, backing off immediately. Damn, when Darkness actually tried, she could actually be kinda scary. 

“Damn, Darkness, it’s almost like you’re a real noble,” Keith commented, which earned chuckles from the other Adventurers. The imported nobles shot them skeptical looks, while Darkness shrank in on herself slightly. 

“You’re damn right, she is!” Kazuma said, whirling on them. “And don’t you forget it! She saved my bacon at that stupid rigged trial, and she’s the one who’s been paying to repair the whole damn town, or haven’t you noticed?!” 

“Wait, SHE paid for the town to be rebuilt, not Alderp!? But he’s the Lord!” one of the Adventurers protested. 

“Don’t be stupid, of COURSE Alderp paid for the repairs,” Steit said, rolling his eyes. “He’s the richest man in the kingdom, while House Dustiness…well, they’re a very old and prestigious family.”

“My family paid for the repairs,” Darkness said quietly. “You can check with the stone mason’s guild, the carpenters guild, the town council, and the bishopric. This was because my actions on the field placed the responsibility upon my family, and it was at my direction that the destruction of Alderp’s manor occurred. Legally, it was my responsibility.”

That stunned everyone into silence, and Kazuma smirked in smug satisfaction. That would show the fancy fools.

“Well. I’m still not going to go easy on you today,” Kocher said, though she looked slightly pale. “My family honor is on the line, and Baron Alexei has offered a handsome reward to best you and your…armsman.”

“Hey, we’re Adventuring Companions! That’s a bond stronger than anything!” Kazuma said, glaring at Kocher, who rolled her eyes.

“Indeed. And it is why so many ancient houses have a tradition for their scions to form such bonds, and gain experience defending the land and people from threats, while working as a humble Adventurer,” Darkness said, nodding at what Kazuma said.

“I spent several years as an Adventurer meself. Met me wife that way,” an older gentleman with a silver mustache and big grey sideburns said. He was dressed finely and had a slightly strange accent.

“Ah, Count Schutze,” Darkness said, nodding to the gentleman. “I take it our Northern Border is quiet, given your presence.”

“Ha! No such thing, ye know that, lassie,” Schutze said with a hearty laugh. “No, me daughter, Elenore, be of age to inherit. Has a husband and a wee laddie o’ her own now. So me and Hattie be enjoying our retirement with a few tourneys. I’m too old to be fightin’ demons and manticores. But a bit o’ target practice on a fine day like this be just the thing.”

“Ah, I apologize, I had not heard of your abdication,” Darkness said, smiling at the old man. 

Schutze waved that away. “Eh, it ain’t official and all that yet, but it be me and Hattie’s anniversary, so we took the trip down south where it’s peaceful like. I did hear about your father, Lassie. Terrible, that. Ignis be a good man. If there be anything I can do, just call. I may be retired, but I still be one o’ yer family’s vassals.”

“Thank you, Sir Schutze. I will remember your fidelity,” Darkness said quietly. 

A trumpet blew, and all eyes turned to the main box. Alderp and his son appeared, dressed in their silken splendor, with Alderp wearing enough glinting rings and golden necklaces to outfit an entire theater company. Walter was dressed more conservatively, but Kazuma’s blood still boiled to see how well his tunic and hose fit him. Kazuma would kill to have an ass like that. Or be that tall. 

“Presenting, for the first time, her most Royal Highness, Princess Iris Stylish Sword Belzerg!” a herald called. 

“Who?” Kazuma muttered, glancing at Darkness. A huge grin had broken out on her face, and she grabbed Kazuma’s arm. He had only time to let out a yip of pain and terror before he was flapping in the breeze behind her as Darkness dashed across the tournament ground, to where a young blond girl in a fine blue dress with a silver tiara on her head had taken a seat in the box next to Alderp. 

Darkness slowed enough for Kazuma’s feet to touch the ground, and he struggled to keep up as she paused before the royal box, where she curtsied to the princess. Kazuma struggled out a bow, though he was trying to figure out what was going on here. 

“Your Highness, welcome to Axel. I had not heard you were coming today,” Darkness said, slightly out of breath. 

Kazuma glanced up at the princess, expecting some sort of cold kuudere type. Instead, he found the girl bouncing on her heels, almost jumping over the railing, her cheeks dimpled as she smiled and waved excitedly. 

“Oh yes, when I heard that you might compete, Tina, I simply had to attend! Duke Symphonia has come to oversee things in the capital just so I could come and see you! Is this that horrible man you’ve spoken of in your letters, Kazuma Sato? Did he really fight Beldia and the Destroyer like you said in your letters?!”

“Your Highness, the people are watching,” a tall blonde woman with a blue lock of hair in an ornate set of armor said, putting a hand on the Princess’ shoulder and trying to calm her. She gave Darkness a pained look, and Darkness blushed slightly.

“Ah, forgive me, Highness. I merely wished to introduce you to Master Sato. He, ah, is the gentleman whom I have mentioned in my letters. And yes, he did indeed mastermind the defeat of Beldia and the Destroyer both. We, ah, also defeated two other generals, but, um, that is less well publicized.”

“Mostly because they’re sponsoring our contest,” Kazuma muttered under his breath. 

“Truly?! You must attend me later, and share tales of your adventures!” the Princess said, her eyes sparkling with delight. Huh. Far from a Kuudere, she was a little ol’e ball of sunshine. Kazuma decided he liked the kid. 

“Don’t worry, Princess. It would be our pleasure to attend you and share tales of our gallant adventures and exploits,” Kazuma said, making his best leg. The look of relieved gratitude Darkness shot him made it entirely worth it. 

“Provided, of course, you’re not attending me later, and ironing out our marriage contract.”

Steam practically shot out of Kazuma’s ears as he turned towards the silkily smiling Alderp, who had a goblet in one bejeweled fist. Iris shot Darkness a worried look; apparently, she hadn’t heard of this, and didn’t entirely approve.

“That will only happen should one of your champions defeat me. I confess, Viscountess Kocker and Sir Steit are worthy opponents. But I do not think I shall be donning a bridal veil for you this day, Baron,” Darkness said, putting a hand on Kazuma’s shoulder and squeezing none too gently. 

“Well, Walter seems fond of the thought of marrying you as well. And I don’t see either of my champions falling to some low class Adventurer,” Alderp sneered. He bowed low to the Princess. “My hospitality is yours to command, Princess. Please, take your seat. The competition will begin shortly.”

“Thank you, Baron. We were merely speaking with our cousin and wishing her well,” Iris said in much more proper tones than she’d been using with Darkness. Wait, COUSIN!? Hold on, there was nobility, and then there was royalty. Just how important was Darkness!? “We shall join you shortly.”

Alderp nodded and waddled off. Once he was far enough away the rising noise of the crowd covered it, Iris leaned over the railing and whispered to Darkness. “Cousin Tina, if you wish to marry that ugly, odious man, I shall have to write father to have your marriage annulled. How could you even think of wedding him!? He might be rich, but he’s so…vile!” 

“Princess…he is a peer of the realm, and the wealthiest man in Belzerg,” Claire chided. Then ruined it by adding, “Even if he does resemble the posterior of a giant toad, and smell about as good.”

“Claire!” Darkness said in mock scandal, placing a hand over heart. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of humor, or has Iris been rubbing off on you?”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Oh come off, it Tina. My sense of humor has always been superior to yours. Or have you forgotten who helped you sneak hot peppers into the king’s beer when we were ten?” 

Hold up. Just what kind of childhood had Darkness had?! 

“Our father’s gave us such a canning…after they were finished dunking their heads into the fountain with Uncle Melark,” Darkness said with a fond smile. 

“That was YOU!?” Iris gasped. She whirled on Claire. “You put hot peppers in Father’s beer?!”

“And your Uncle Ignis’ and her father’s as well,” Darkness added, even as Claire turned bright red. 

“There’s no way you remember that, Highness. You couldn’t even walk at the time,” Claire sniffed. 

“Yes, but Jatice has told me the story. It’s very funny,” Iris giggled, covering her mouth. 

“That it was. But do not fear, Iris. I have no intent of marrying Alderp. Or that stuffed clotheshorse of a son of his,” Darkness said. “Another, far more impressive man, has captured my interest.”

Well shit. Who the hell was more impressive than the richest stiff in the kingdom or his bishie son? Kazuma might have to ask Chris if she did assassinations. 

Or just point Megumin in their general direction. 

“Ooo, you simply must tell us later, Tina!” Iris said, her eyes darting to Kazuma for some reason. 

“Perhaps. I will need to seek my father’s blessing first,” Darkness said. She stood up on tiptoes to kiss Iris on the cheek. “Wish me luck, Cousin.”

“Good luck!” Iris said, throwing her arms about Darkness’ neck and squeezing. “We’re rooting for you and Master Sato both!” 

“Here here,” Claire said. “I don’t know what possessed you to make that wager, Tina. I hope that man of yours there is a deadeye.”

“I’d tell you to ask Belida, but he isn’t taking calls at the moment,” Kazuma said, folding his arms over his chest. 

“Oh! Well said, Master Sato!” Iris said, clapping her hands excitedly. “Good luck! May Eris smile upon you!” 

From the shadows not too far away, Chris chuckled to herself. “Kid, you have no idea.”

After a bit more pageantry and fanfare that Kazuma did his best to nap through, the archery competition began. There were indeed priests that came through and cast Spell Break, as well as checked the cards of all present for buffs. Kazuma proudly presented his, only to get a dubious look from the young priest who took it.

“Uh, you’re sure you’re in the right place, sir? This is the Archery Contest. Uh, this says ‘Cooking, Steal, Flee, Tinder, Lip-Reading, and-’”

“Yes, that’s mine! Look, I’ve got Snipe and Basic Bows too!” Kazuma snapped, snatching the card and pointing out the skills. 

“Er, yes, but, um…those are basic abilities. You’re up against Bloodline abilities,” the priest said, scratching at his stupid hat. 

“Yeah, well, I’m just lucky sometimes,” Kazuma growled. 

The priest shrugged. “Well, you don’t have any illegal buffs, even if your build is…odd. You’re clear.”

Kazuma muttered under his breath, then turned to Darkness. She had that giant metal pole of hers, but was flexing it. She’d tied a thick silver cable to one end, and was bending it over to…

“Holy crap, that thing’s a BOW?!” Kazuma demanded, his eyes nearly bugging out. “What is it made of, adamantoise!?”

“Correct,” Darkness grunted, managing to string her bow, which was even taller than she was strung. “The string is purest mithril.”

“What do you shoot, entire trees?!” Kazuma demanded. 

Darkness picked up what Kazuma had thought was a spear, and set it against the bow string. “Nothing quite so grandiose.”

“Huh.” Kazuma looked her up and down, then shook his head. “I still don’t buy you can shoot that thing.”

“Hrng!” Darkness blushed and flinched. “H-how crass! Still, you mistrust me, Kazuma?!”

“Oh, I trust  you. To be a degenerate and a meat shield. But if people could have a negative score with accuracy, it would be you. Plus, your Dex modifier has to be horrendous.”

“Ah, um, it is,” Darkness admitted. 

Kazuma threw his hands up in the air. “And we both know your Luck is nearly as bad as Aqua’s! Great. Maybe if we’re lucky, you’ll hit the ground.”

“Next, Master Kazuma Sato,” the announcer called. 

Kazuma picked up his strung bow and sauntered out. They’d placed the targets kinda far, already out to 70 meters, the maximum range Kazuma usually practiced at. That was fine, he could bullseye up to 100 easy, and all the way to 200 if he was feeling really lucky. 

He pulled his string back, squinted a little, then let fly. His arrow thunked neatly into the dead center. Two more followed it, both close enough to make the first quiver. He grinned and sauntered back, waving to the crowd, which cheered him for once. His chance to be the hometown hero. 

“Not bad, for a peasant,” Steit said, swaggering out after Kazuma. Kazuma glared at the bastard, but his first arrow was dead center.  His next two split it. 

“Ok, so Mr. Fancy Pants can shoot,” Kazuma muttered, going back to stand beside Darkness. When her name was called, he sighed and said, “Try not to embarrass us.”

“Insufferable man,” Darkness muttered. Instead of advancing to the mark, she hefted her siege weapon of a bow, and sent a spear sized arrow right through the center of the target, utterly annihilating it. Then she did the same to the targets to either side; a shot straight down the center, which turned both targets into kindling. 

Kazuma could only feel his eyes pop out of his head, even as Alderp’s jaw dropped. Darkness simply stood tall and preened, looking smug for the first time. 

Finally, Kazuma picked his eyeballs up and managed, “How?”

“Most Bloodline archery abilities do indeed depend on Dexterity or Luck,” Darkness said, sounding rather pleased with herself. “Mine, however, is unique. Bolt from the Blue is a Strength-based archery skill. And I think you will find that my Strength stat is among the highest of any alive.”

“And you didn’t think to ever use the bow when we were out questing!? Do you have any idea how many problems that could have solved!?” 

“I, um, do owe you an apology, Kazuma. I, ah…I did not wish-”

“Not the freaking time,” Kazuma growled, forcing down his simmering anger. “Well, at least I know you were trying to throw the match to Baron Fugly.”

“Nor his heir. I am counting on you, Kazuma. I have faith that you truly are the greatest archer in all of Axel. And, perhaps, the realm.”

Even after the crushing blow that was finding out Darkness had been hiding she was actually useful this entire time, having a beautiful woman stroke Kazuma’s ego ignited a fire in him that burned even hotter than his temper. 

“Yeah, well, you just make sure you don’t miss with that oversized stick flinger of yours and I’ll do my part.”

The first round mostly weeded out a few local archers, though Kazuma gave Keith a high five when he managed to just barely eke out a score that would let him advance to the next round. “Damn, I might be able to last one more, but nobles are just built different. Bloodline abilities just aren’t fair, I tell you.”

“It is our blessing, and our burden,” Darkness said solemnly. “We are blessed by the gods, it is true, but because of this, we are required to use our abilities in the defense of our people.”

Keith winced, looking embarrassed. “Oh, uh, sorry, Darkness. I didn’t mean you. Though honestly, I thought your Bloodline ability was being damn near indestructible. Didn’t realize you could shoot down a dragon, too.”

“Yeah. Funny, that,” Kazuma said, glaring at Darkness, who wilted again. 

Unfortunately, both Steit and Kocher easily advanced to the next round. New targets were brought out to replace the ones Darkness had obliterated, along with an admonishment from the judges to “use smaller arrows.” 

“Not her fault if you didn’t build your targets right,” Kazuma said with a snort, though Darkness did start using arrows the size of javelins instead of long spears. 

Keith dropped out after the second round, missing the bullseye twice at 100 meters. Kazuma’s luck was on, so he still made a neat grouping in the center that got full marks. Despite all Kazuma’s fears, Darkness not only hit the bullseye, but proceeded to shatter her first javelin by striking it dead on with her second. That also caused the target to collapse, so she was unable to perform the feat a third time, but Kazuma had a sneaking suspicion she could have.  

This was seriously unfair. Especially since this woman could have done this at any time previously!

After the third round, old Count Schutze nodded to Kazuma. “That’s some fine shootin’ laddie. What sort o’ bow do ye be usin’?” 

“Horn,” Kazuma said. 

“I can see that, what kind o’ horn? Minotaur? Saytr? Hippogryph?”

“Uh, cow? I think? Kazuma said, scratching his head. “Dunno, don’t remember. It was on sale.”

The other archers, who by this point, were all out of towners save Darkness, stared at him in bafflement. 

“That…that can’t be. My bow is made of Leisure Girl Wood, and was sung into existence by elves. Its properties boost my abilities massively. Surely that bow has to have some sort of properties,” Kocher said, squinting at Kazuma’s bow. 

“Uh, mine was made by Hank the Fletcher. Good guy, solid craftsmanship. I’m using his arrows too,” Kazuma said.

“Ahhhh,” the nobles said, nodding. 

“The arrows are obviously specially enchanted,” Steit said, his eyes narrowing. “I suppose that is legal.”

Schultze plucked one of Kazuma’s arrows out of the quiver, and examined it. He grinned, showing he was missing several teeth. “Goosefeather! Not bad make. I’d certainly be happy to issue them to my guardsmen.”

The others all stared at Kazuma. 

“Are you certain he’s an Adventurer?” one that Kazuma hadn’t bothered to learn the name of asked. “Not a Sniper or Deatharrow?”

“Wait, are you making those up, or are they real classes?” Kazuma asked, his eyes narrowing. 

“Lady Dustiness, he’s just pretending to be an idiot, right?” another NPC asked, his voice quavering slightly. 

Darkness smiled and shook her head. “He is as he appears. Kazuma is refreshingly straightforward. And, might I add, very skilled. It was no accident he took down the Destroyer and Beldia both.”

The moved the targets back again for the fourth round, and Kazuma swallowed. “Uh, this might be a small issue, Darkness. I’m not so hot at this range…”

“Have faith, Kazuma. This is the range at which we typically start competitions,” Darkness said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I am certain you can do it.”

“Yeah, uh, one sec.”

Kazuma hurried to the edge of the competitors waiting area, and desperately looked around. Thankfully, there was a beer and pretzel stall not far away, where Aqua was having the time of her life. 

“PSSST! Aqua!” Kazuma hissed. 

“Huh?” Aqua trotted over, holding out a pretzel. “Want one? They’re good!”

“Later! Look, uh, I’m sort of in trouble here. Think you could hook me up with a Divine Blessing that would boost my luck?” Kazuma whispered. 

“Sure, no problem! One super awesome-”

“Not where people can see!” Kazuma hissed. “Make it, you know, not so flashy!” 

“Oooooh. I got it!” Aqua winked at Kazuma. “Don’t worry, Kazuma, I’ve been preparing for just this situation!”

“By day drinking and eating pretzels?”

“Nah, that’s just for fun!” Aqua skipped off, leaving Kazuma to feel nervous. He really needed something to get through this next round. Already, his score was the lowest of the remaining competitors. If he didn’t pick things up, he’d be eliminated for sure.

Once more, Kazuma barely hung on. His second arrow was on the border of the bullseye, while his third actually ended up in the center. Thankfully, another noble got two arrows off center, and was eliminated instead. Kocker and Steit were showing weakness as well, with the two of them hanging out with Kazuma in the bottom of the ranks, both of them having had one arrow miss the mark. In contrast, Darkness was still dominating the entire field, easily bullseyeing all three of her shafts in a tight triangle.

Kazuma glanced over at Alderp, and saw him talking with an aide he hadn’t seen before. He had ashen hair, and wore a pair of old style spectacles and a twin tailed suit that looked vaguely familiar. He nodded to something Alderp said, then a moment later, Alderp called over Steit and Kocher. They handed over their bows to the strange man, who ran his gloved hands over them before passing them back. 

“That son of a bitch is CHEATING!” Kazuma said, pointing to Alderp. “You see that?!”

“I don’t recognize that man with him,” Darkness said, shading her eyes with a hand. “But he appears to be some sort of servant. Still…perhaps we should call for the priests?”

“Yeah, because if that fucker is cheating, we-”

“Hey everyone! Have you ever seen a magic trick like this?!”

“Oh no,” Kazuma groaned, as the crowd’s eyes were drawn to a pair of figures that had just entered the arena. A raucous noise began, and Count Schutze let out a whoop. “Where the hell did she get bagpipes!? Or a unicycle?!”

“And what is Chris doing with Aqua?” Darkness said, sounding baffled. 

Indeed, Aqua had just appeared, riding on a unicycle while playing the bagpipes, with Chris balanced on her shoulders, and for some reason, juggling a dozen gleaming silver daggers. The crowd applauded and cheered, though Alderp looked like he was about to have an apoplexy. So maybe it was worth it after all. 

Circling the field, Aqua played “Entrance of the Gladiators.” Which, contrary to what you might be thinking, is the “Circus Music,” not some bombastic orchestral number. All the while, Chris added more and more daggers to her display, much to the crowd’s delight. The paused at the center, Aqua moving the unicycle back and forth to stay upright. She tossed the bagpipe into the air, and it burst into a dozen snow white doves, which fluttered about to the crowd’s delight. 

“The God’s Blessing on this Wonderful Tournament, and to the Goddess’ champions!” Aqua declared. 

“And may you all find joy and love on this day!” Chris added. She suddenly spread her arms, and the daggers flew high into the air, before exploding into a shower of silver coins, which rained down over the lower boxes to the delight of the townsfolk. 

“Huh. Didn’t know Chris did magic tricks. Since when do she and Aqua hang out?” Kazuma pondered, rubbing his chin.

“I don’t-” Darkness began, before two doves, each bearing a coin, landed on both Kazuma’s and Darkness’ head. They dropped the coins into their astonished perche’s hands, then burst into a shower of glowing water. 

“Ack!” Kazuma cried, expecting to get soaked, but nothing happened. 

“Wow, it STINKS here. Did you keep pigs here before you started the archery contest?” Aqua opined loudly, now circling with her unicycle again. 

“GET THEM OUT OF HERE!” Alderp bellowed furiously, and soldiers rushed the field. 

“AHHHH! KAZUMA, HELLLLLLP!” Aqua wailed, then began pedaling furiously, Chris clinging to her desperately. Apparently, Chris didn’t realize that her struggles to stay on had resulted in her clamping her hands over Aqua’s eyes, which meant her frantic peddling was now entirely without direction. The two of them somehow managed to jump the fence after riding up a  conveniently placed plank, before vanishing into the laughing crowd, Chris screaming, “SENPAI, SENPAI SLOW DOWN! AHHH SLOW DOWN!”

“That was…weird,” Kazuma said, looking down at his hands. He felt…different. Lighter. Luckier. Like he could shot his bow backwards. 

“Kazuma…” A heavy hand fell on Kazuma’s shoulder, and he felt all his hairs stand up. “You put Aqua up to that, didn’t you?”

“I mean, I didn’t tell her to show up with a unicycle and a bagpipe…” Kazuma protested weakly. 

“I told you not to endanger our endeavour,” Darkness growled. 

“Look, I had to do SOMETHING! They’re dropping the lowest scorer each round, and I’m in dead last right now!” Kazuma said, his tone pleading. “Besides, I read the rules! We’re good!” 

“Kazuma, I swear-”

“Now, at 250 meters, Kazuma Sato!” the herald shouted. 

“Look, we’re good, trust me!” Kazuma said, stepping up to the line. 

The crowd went wild, with cheers of “KA-ZU-MA! KA-ZU-MA!” He waved to them, grinning widely. See who they liked now? He was the last Adventurer on the roster, and clearly the local favorite. He casually fired off three arrows. The first took the bullseye in dead center. The next split the first, and the final arrow bisected both. He grinned and winked at Darkness, though he didn’t miss the frown from Alderp, or him calling over the judge and one of the priests to have an angry conversation. 

Next came Schutze, who hit the center once, but got two arrows just off center. Kocher and Steit, on the other hand, nearly repeated Kazuma’s performance, with their arrows dead center. 

Darkness stepped up, and there were wild cheers from one particular individual. “HOUSE DUSTINESS!” Iris cried, waving a yellow pennant furiously. The other nobles seemed scandalized, Kazuma had a feeling royalty weren't supposed to be so obviously biased, but the princess was rather young, and Darkness was, after all, her close relation. 

Darkness gave a shy wave in Iris’ direction, which only redoubled the cheers. Then she pulled back her string and let fly. It looked like a cruise missile had just hit the target. The resulting explosion left a massive crater, completely annihilating the target. 

“DISQUALIFIED!” Alderp ranted standing up. “SHE’S USING ENHANCEMENT MAGIC!” 

The judges hurried over, and Kazuma felt sweat bead on his forehead. He’d wanted Aqua to bless them, but that…

Darkness’ bow was taken and inspected, and her Adventurer’s card was produced. Kazuma shouldered his way in. “Hey, if you’re going to inspect her card, you’d damn well better check EVERYONE’S!” 

“You have no right to demand that!” Alderp snarled, pointing a flabby, jewel-encrusted finger at Kazuma.

“No, he does not. But I do!” Iris piped up, the crowd parting for her. “If Cousin Tina is to be inspected, then I order that all participants must be as well!”

Despite Alderp’s weak protests, the priests and judges hastily complied with the princess’ orders, taking Kazuma’s bow and card. 

“Ha, there IS enhancement magic!” Alderp said when Darkness’ bow glowed blue and silver upon close inspection. “And see here, there’s magic on her card too!” 

Indeed, there were now two buffs indicated that hadn’t been there before: Fortune’s Favored, and Strength of Waters. Kazuma’s turned out to have the same, and his bow reacted to the Spell Break, though it couldn’t dislodge the spell.

“Well, the thing is, Baron…that’s perfectly legal,” Kazuma said smugly, folding his arms and smirking. 

“All Enhancement Magic is illegal!” Alderp growled, pointing a finger at Darkness. “Which means, Lalatina, you’re mine!” 

“Ah, your lordship…that is legal magic,” the elder priest said, shaking his head. 

“What?! How can you say that!? It wasn’t there earlier!” Alderp growled. “It’s Enhancement Magic!” 

“Well, not properly, no,” the priest said. “It’s a Divine Blessing. Similar to a Bloodline Ability, as it is granted by the gods. As such, it’s allowed.”’

“WHAT?!” 

The Big Book of Rules was hauled out, and combed over thoroughly. But Kazuma knew what they’d find. 

“...and so, while a blessing performed by a priest or cleric IS disallowed, blessings from the gods themselves are EXPLICITLY allowed under Section G, Subsection 16a, paragraph 22,” the high judge stated. “Lady Dustiness and her retainer are favored of both our Beloved Lady Eris…and some other god.”

“HEY!” Kazuma said, sticking his finger under the man’s nose and making him flinch back. “You say Aqua’s name with RESPECT!” 

“Well, it probably is that minor, unimportant goddess,” the priest sniffed. 

“Bishop Niblig…I suggest you be more kind to Lady Aqua, who is indeed a senior goddess,” Darkness said, her tone severe. “As a Crusader, it is my duty to uphold respect to ALL the gods. Even, and especially, those with more minor cults.”

“As you say, Lady Dustiness. Yes, yes, Strength of Waters is the blessing of the Most Holy and Sacred Lady Aqua, Goddess of Water and Party Tricks.”

Darkness glowered at the man, but Kazuma put a hand on her arm. “No, no. He’s right about that one.”

“That said…” the man turned to Kocher and Steit, who were looking very pale, and covered in chains. “Infernal Curses, while not STRICTLY forbidden by the rules, ARE considered Heresy!”

“I-I swear, Bishop, I have no idea how those ended up there!” Steit protested. 

“Perhaps they, er, originated from the field of battle, when we vanquished a few demons?” Kocher offered lamely. 

Both Steit and Kocher’s bows had been discovered to be Cursed by black magic that ensured their arrows would always hit, and slay, whatever target they were pointed at. The bows hadn’t been inspected earlier, which Kazuma figured was a big fat flaw in the whole thing. 

“Do you swear that you did not know that the bows were cursed?” the priest demanded, holding up a bell. Kazuma recognized that from his trial. The damn thing dinged whenever it went off. 

“We swear!” Kocher and Steit said. “We had no idea they were cursed!” 

The bell remained silent. 

“And you have had no dealings with demons?” the priest pressed. 

“We swear, no dealing with demons!” 

Again, silent. Darn. 

“Very well. The curse will be removed, but these bows are seized as evidence for now. You will have to compete with regular bows now,” the priest said firmly. 

“What!? This is outrageous! My bow is a sacred family heirloom!” Steit protested. 

“She’ll have an unfair advantage!” Kocher said, pointing at Darkness. 

“I agree, the tournament will have to be canceled, and the bet off,” Alderp huffed. 

“Hey wait a minute! What if we all agree to use regular bows? That would be fair, right?” Kazuma asked. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Alderp sneered, “of course it wouldn’t-”

“I think that is an excellent idea!” Iris piped up, making Alderp wince visibly. “Do you have a source of bows, Master Kazuma?”

“Yo, Hank, you got four spare bows?” Kazuma shouted towards a man with a stand not far away. 

Hank, who was a tall, thin man with a receding hairline grinned widely. He’d set up his stall right by the archery competition and, ever since word had got out that one of the contestants had been using one of his bows, had done a roaring trade. “Well, I expect I do, Kazuma. For a small fee, of course.”

A few minutes later, four brand new bows, one horn for Kazuma, an ash bow for Kocher, hickory for Steit, and a giant yew long bow for Darkness, were produced and inspected. 

“They are free of any enhancement magic, and are of ordinary but good craftsmanship,” the judge declared. 

A new target was set up all the way at 300 meters. Kocher and Steit, to their credit, did manage to hit the target. Kocher even got one bullseye, and another in the inner ring, which Steit simply got all of hers in the outer rings.

Kazuma, however, got all three dead center. Darkness, to the crowd's delight, split her arrows like a damn genderbent Robin Hood. 

“We could have another round, you know, just to see which is better between the two of us,” Kazuma said, even as the crowd cheered and Iris jumped up and down and squealed in delight. 

“Bah! Take your damn prize and begone with you!” Alderp snarled, waving his arms in a brusque motion. 

“The orphanage and Kazuma’s debt to you are canceled?” Darkness said, meeting Alderp’s eyes. 

“Yes, yes, FINE! They are forgiven. You win, Lalatina. But I won’t forget this,” Alderp said. “And I will bring up negotiations with your father again. Your family is still indebted to mine, and I WILL collect!” 

Kazuma opened his mouth, but Darkness touched his shoulder. “This is victory enough this day. Come, Kazuma. I believe someone wishes to congratulate us.”

Iris was vibrating with glee, and Kazuma thought she was going to leap the barrier. Instead, she grandly produced two crowns of woven wildflowers. “Champions! Step forth!” 

Both Kazuma and Darkness went to kneel before the princess, who placed the wreaths upon their heads. “I name thee both, Grand Champions of the Bow! Arise, and be recognized!”

The crowd applauded wildly, even as Alderp stomped off. Kazuma noted that Walter, the baron's son, had not departed, and indeed, hurried over to Kazuma and Darkness. 

“Congratulations, Champions, and your performance. Please, take this token from my father, and forgive his ill manners,” Walter said, then presented them with a not inconsiderable bag of eris. “That was a magnificent performance from you both.”

“Just don’t think you can get in sweet with Darkness,” Kazuma growled at the man. 

“I, I had thought no such thing! Truly, I think my father overreaches. My family is one that purchased their writ of nobility only a decade ago, while the Dustiness Family is one of the oldest and most prestigious in the realm!” Walter said, and bowed to first Iris, and then Darkness. “Please, you are invited to the high table for lunch, and our box for the joust this afternoon.”

“Yeah, thanks pal, but-” Kazuma began, then cut himself off and glanced at Darkness, and gritted his teeth.

“I will be taking a private meal with my royal cousin, Walter. Thank you. We shall join you for the joust,” Darkness said.

Bowing, Walter retreated, leaving Darkness alone with the Princess’ party and Kazuma. 

“Yes, we simply must have a private meal!” Iris said excitedly. 

“I’ve arranged something already, highness,” another woman, this one in a blue bonnet and dress, said with a curtsy. She looked like a governess, which made sense, given Iris’ age.

“Oh no, I insist we dine at the establishment Cousin Tina has mentioned so often!” Iris said eagerly. “We simply must dine at the guildhall! I wish to try the fried toadlegs and coleslaw!”

“Uh, that is somewhat lower dining than you are used to, Highness,” Claire said, looking concerned. 

“Nonsense! If it is good enough for Cousin Tina, it’s good enough for me!” Iris pronounced. “Come! I wish to see the town.”

To Kazuma’s shock, Iris grabbed his hand and Darkness’, and led them away. As they went, he frowned in the direction of Alderp. Something was up. How had those bows gotten cursed? He didn’t buy the story. He’d get to the bottom of this.

…after he had lunch and got some answers out of Darkness. 

The Second Archon War: Superbia Hominum 15

Superbia Hominum 15: Knowledge of Good and Evil

A silver pair of scales stood before her, formed of water. On them was emblazoned a watery thumbprint, the symbol of Hydro. Before the scales stood a woman with eyes of deep azure, her pupils a lighter shade of blue.

A sword fell from heaven and struck the woman, impaling her upon the center of the scales like a divine nail. Judgment, for a Sin she did not commit. 

With a cry, the woman was separated in two, her eyes changing so that one divine eye was in each of the new hosts. Each was cast upon the scales of justice, the sword hovering over them. One was a mortal girl, dressed plainly the other a goddess in fine robes. Whichever was found wanting would be destroyed. Both reached out for the other as the sword suddenly descended, not towards the mortal, but towards the god. The mortal rose up towards the heavens, weeping as the scales trembled. 

With a cry, Fortuna sat bolt upright in bed, her breaths coming ragged and gasping as sweat beaded on her brow. She touched her forehead, which was clammy but cool. 

A dream. I had another dream. 

Her path tried to speak to her, tried to direct her, but Fortuna shoved it aside, going so far as to toss Eighty off of her desk and into a drawer as she pulled out a notebook and began to furiously write all she could recall from her dream before it faded away. She especially focused on the woman she’d seen. What had stood out was her unnatural eyes, with iris’ like tear drops. One a deep blue white with a light blue center, the other inverted. But that had been after she’d split into two. 

Slender, with a kind face, and silver hair with blue highlights, Fortuna wrote in English, so that it would be easier to share her notes. She was incredibly beautiful. A goddess. The Hydro Archon. 

She set the pen down, then glanced at the clock. It was early yet, too early to go barging into people’s rooms unless it was a life and death announcement. So instead, requested a door to her favorite donut shop: Bosa Donuts in Chandler, Arizona. It was a little mom-and-pop place with dreams of franchising, but their freshly baked goods were to die for. 

Fortuna got her favorite: A cherry fritter and a hot chocolate with fresh creme, along with two dozen more various donuts. Then she took a door to the control room, now located under Cheyenne Mountain. She set the box of donuts on the back table, then waved cheerily. “Hey, Albedo! What’s up?”

She knew the answer, of course, Eighty was whispering it to her even in the drawer, but she ignored him. 

“The ceiling,” Albedo said, tilting his head to one side. “And approximately 150,000 tons of rock, mostly granite.” The artificial humanoid continued to look like Adonus, with long silky hair, and chiseled features. Though those features were about as expressive as the marble before it was carved. 

Fortuna sighed. She got it. English idioms were hard. “No, no, that means, how’s it going, what’s happening. It doesn’t mean what’s literally above us.”

“Ah, I see,” the impassive homunculus said, and turned back to the monitors. “Currently, it is quiet. There is no Endbringer activity. Scion has not been sighted in 26.5 hours. No Slaughterhouse Nine Activity. Only minor events.”

“Any new Visions?” Fortuna prompted, offering Albedo a donut. This was a regular yeast donut, with maple frosting. 

Albedo glanced at the donut, then accepted it without taking a bite. “Yes. We have recorded 27 Visions being distributed in the last 24 hours. They are; six electro, seven anemo, six dendro, and eight cryo. This is within standard parameters.” 

“Hmm,” Fortuna shook her head, then went to examine a monitor, passing the woman sitting there a jelly donut, which she gratefully accepted. “Any new Vision types though? Specifically, Hydro. I’m looking for Hydro Visions.”

“We have not recorded any, ma’am,” the woman, her name was Kelly Ann Morris, said with a shake of her head. 

I got that from her name tag, not you! Fortuna shot at Eighty, who was still whispering in her ear. It was how Fortuna knew that strawberry jelly was Kelly Ann’s favorite. He was useful for little things like that, but not much else. 

Monitoring Vision and Trigger events was one of Cauldron’s primary purposes now. In the bad old days, they’d mostly just let fresh Triggers and new Vision Holders figure things out. These days, it was very different. If a cape triggered anywhere in North America, Cauldron would know about it in minutes thanks to a combination of Fortuna and Armory, while Vision events were a little harder to pinpoint. Still, as soon as they were known, they were logged and the new cape contacted. They were then given a choice: Join the Protectorate or pay a visit to the Slug. 

It was brutal, but effective. Especially with the ever looming threat of the War with the Tsaritsa. 

Calculations indicate that the Fatui will invade Finland through the Karelian within 8 weeks. Probability: 78.34%. Variance due to unknown effects of Princess’ leadership and Harbinger Power struggles. 

Oh shut up. You’re just guessing. I already know. Don’t you remember the Dream? 

Fortuna had seen three moons above a frozen plane. They had turned blood red, then crashed into the ice, where dark trees had sprouted with corpses hanging from their branches. Not the most subtle of dreams, but the meaning had been clear: Three months would pass, and then the war would resume to the North. Probably Finland, as that was the most logical place for Russia to invade next with the Storm Range blocking everything from the Baltic to the Black Sea. 

But that wasn’t the dream she was concerned about. The one she’d had about the watery scales told her that there was most assuredly going to be another Archon, and soon. So she sat in one of those spinny chairs and had another donut, this one a bearclaw. 

After the bearclaw, Fortuna gave up and decided to wander the complex. She could have gone out on a mission, but that would have required consulting Eighty again, and she was more and more loath to talk to the Little God of the Path. It lied, and Fortuna was increasingly certain it was doing so deliberately. That was only logical, gods of course, lied all the time in tricky ways, which was why you had to be so careful about how you phrased your questions to them. 

 To her surprise, Albedo fell in with her, following after as she left the control room. “Aren’t you supposed to be on duty?” 

“Negative. I am simply gathering data. Besides, you will visit Doctor Meliton’s lab, will you not? I have been directed to check in with her.” 

“I guess I will,” Fortuna admitted, and nodded to the homunculus. “You’re pretty good at seeing the future too, aren’t you?” 

“I do not see the future, nor does the Path. We calculate probabilistic outcomes and model likely actions with a high degree of accuracy,” Albedo stated. 

That was just a fancy way of saying they used math as a way to read the future, Fortuna had learned. Math to her was still a pseudo-mystical art she didn’t really understand. She’d learned how to count, of course, but to her she’d never learned beyond simple sums, and the concept of zero was still vaguely alien and magical. How could you represent nothing aside from the arcane? 

With nothing else to do, or at least, nothing else to do that didn’t involve letting Eighty possess her, Fortuna wandered down to the laboratory level. She had a feeling something was going to happen, but she was still certain it should be new Hydro Visions. 

Down in one of the new sub-basements, Fortuna knew she would find Dr. Meliton and Wyatt, working on exploring new ways to grant powers to potential capes. They still had several thousand vials in storage, most of them carefully catalogued and labeled based on what powers they would confirm, and Fortuna was supposed to be going through and cataloguing the rest. She just…wanted to be herself for a little while longer before she started on it again. 

However, even a seven thousand three hundred and three vials would run out before very long. Actually, they’d run out in eight years, six months, and fourteen days, SHUT UP EIGHTY. Which sounded like a long time, but wouldn’t even take them close to the newly projected End of the World. Fortuna might be new at reading the Stars and Fate, but even she could foresee the great blackness that approached. It was about two hundred years off in the most optimistic cases, but Fortuna believed it would come much sooner than that. By the end of this century, the world would either triumph or be destroyed. 

And to save the world, they needed weapons. 

They entered into the lab, which had plenty of those magic machines that were used to perform alchemy and other wonders. Eighty tried to supply the exact mechanisms and functions of each machine, but Fortuna very firmly told the Little God to shut up. It was magic. She didn’t care what anyone said, it was just magic. Let it be strange and wonderful to her. Let there be mystery again. Let there be chance. 

Free will is an illusion. The world is deterministic, not probabilistic. 

The nice thing about being an idiot peasant from the bronze age is I don’t know what those words mean! 

Well, she did, Eighty had force fed her that information long ago, but she was choosing to ignore it. 

While the machines didn’t really matter to her, the people inside did. Dr. Meliton and Wyatt were both talking animatedly in front of one of the machines, each holding one of those magic pads that was like a computer. 

“-but that’s the point, these readings contain an exotic energy we haven’t measured before!” Wyatt said, flicking his screen with his fingers and grinning. 

“It’s just another form of elemental energy,” Meliton said, shaking her head so that her green feathers rustled. “It’s useful, but not the breakthrough we’ve been looking for.”

A surge of excitement filled Fortuna’s heart, and she hurried forward. “Is it Hydro!? Has the Hydro Archon arrived!?”

Both Science Wizards looked up from their debate, Wyatt grinning, Meliton flinching in shock slightly. 

“Nah, we’ve got plenty of readings on that from Albedo,” Wyatt said, nodding to the homunculus, who had gone to stand quietly in the corner. “Sup, man?”

“Contessa informed me this is a colloquial expression asking as to my state of being, not the construction of the ceiling. I am well,” Albedo said in his dull monotone. 

“It’s not one of the seven elements, and Albedo isn’t the only source of Hydro,” Honey said, shaking her head again as if to clear it. “You know that, Tyche. We’ve had a source of Hydro to study since Keiga started changing after her wedding.”

“Oh,” Fortuna deflated slightly. Maybe her dreams were useless. “Then what is…”

A sense of overwhelming dread suddenly filled Fortuna, like a ghostly hand had just reached into her chest and squeezed her heart. Slowly, she turned, her heart beginning to race faster. As she did, darkness flickered at the corners of her vision, and she half heard a distant, soundless, discordant note. Somehow, she found the source, and slowly walked towards it. Eighty had gone dead silent. She held her breath, until she was standing over one machine, where various vials sat in a tray. They were all clear, but a darkness seemed to pour off of several of them. 

Slowly, she pointed, and her voice trembled as she spoke. “What is…what is that…” She found herself answering her own question. “Death. Chaos. Destruction. Hunger.”

Rapid steps behind her, and Meliton and Wyatt were at her shoulders. “Fortuna? What is it you see?”

Feeling dizzy, Fortuna reached up to take off her hat, and began to kneed it with her hands as cold sweat broke out all over her body. “It is the endless maw, the devouring chaos, the destruction of all, it is death, it is death, it is DEATH!”

She was weeping now, and would have collapsed if Wyatt hadn’t grabbed her and held her up.

“Albedo! Call for a medical team, STAT! We need level five containment, NOW!” 

“Hold on, Wyatt,” Meliton said, crouching down slightly to peer into Fortuna’s eyes. “Tyche? What do you see? What does your path see?”

“This isn’t elemental energy,” Contessa mumbled as Fortuna fled, allowing the God of the Path to possess her. “It is the answer. The weapon we seek. It’s power. Endless power. But it’s dangerous. So dangerous. It’s death. His death, and ours, if we’re not careful.”

“This is it!” Meliton said excitedly, standing and spreading her wings. “Director, we’ve found what we’re looking for we-”

Alarms began to blare, and Meliton spun, glaring furiously at Albedo. “What did you do that for? This isn’t the time to panic, it’s a time to research!” 

“Honey, when the Tinker 12 has a fit and a fainting spell at the new esoteric energy you’ve been analyzing, the correct response is to take every damn precaution in the book,” Wyatt said as he pulled Contessa away. 

“But this is exactly what we’re looking for!” Meliton snarled, talons scraping on the tile floor and leaving large gouges as she bared her fangs in anger. “You’re just another one of those cowards who won’t let me fully explore every possibility with my research!” 

“Oh, I’m going to let you research the ever loving hell out of this,” Wyatt said as he pulled Contesa from the lab, and Roach model guards appeared with containment gear. “But not here, and not with this level of security. If this is our Silver Bullet, we need to proceed with the utmost caution.”

“What…what are the samples,” Contessa said, then again answered her own question as her path spoke. “The Twins. It’s samples from the Twins. Specifically Tohu. She is drenched in Sin. Weep, Mankind! Weep and Know despair! For Sin has entered into this world! You will have Knowledge of Good and Evil, but when you drink of the Forbidden Cup, know you have begun your own fall! Weep, for Sin has entered the world!” 

That wasn’t the Path. Eighty was confused and trying to analyze where those words had come from. 

But Fortuna knew, even if Contessa did not. They were the last dregs of the Hydro and Dendro she’d ingested last night to make herself Dream. It was True Prophecy. And she could only weep.

“You will be Drenched in Sin,” she told Wyatt as he knelt beside her, the lab being locked down. Gently, she reached out, and touched his cheek, already seeing it eaten away, his flesh corrupted, his soul blackened and stained. “Turn back, turn back and flee, for if you take Sin into yourself, you will surely die.”

“Will it save the world?” Wyatt demanded. “Can it kill an Entity?”

“Yes,” Contessa whispered, and she saw it now. Scion, consumed utterly by unending darkness, destroyed so utterly that even his might was as nothing before the void. “But beware. For this is a sword with no hilt. The hand that wields it will be the first cut.”

“Then we do it anyway. My death, your death, all of our deaths…as long as we stop him and save the world, it’s worth it,” Wyatt said firmly. 

Fortuna could only huddle into a ball and cry. She knew that had to be the answer, and yet…all she saw was desolation. 

Keeping his hands folded behind his back, David dug his nail into his palm as Hannah entered the room. She ignored him, and he did his best to do the same. They’d been doing a lot of that since they broke up, not long after they’d left Riga. He couldn’t even look at her without feeling a sense of overwhelming despair and loss. What was even the point anymore? 

Even if Joseph is dead, there are billions, trillions, who deserve life. You have to keep fighting.

 But how? How was he to keep fighting? He had only enough vials left to fuel his powers for a few more years. That wasn’t even close to the finish line. If he stopped using his powers entirely, shepherded what was left for the final battle…No. He would be a hero for as long as he could. He would save every life he could. He would find a way. 

He had to. Else, what had all this been for? 

Contessa arrived next, clutching that stupid Eight Ball of hers. She looked as worn out as David felt, with dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t been out in the field much lately, and that made David wonder. Was she losing control of her powers? She’d always been erratic and unstable, and things had only gotten worse. Did she blame herself that she hadn’t foreseen the Tsarita’s attack? That was understandable, but as he understood it, Archons were blind spots in Contessa’s abilities. 

God. Were they all failing? Each and every one of them, slowly losing their tenuous grasps at the edge of the pit? Was this how humanity fell? With the last force of resistance slowly dragged down by their own impotence? 

There was the clack of talons, and David pulled himself out of his fugue in time to see Dr. Meliton stride in with Albedo. That golem gave David the willies. A human in form, yes, but an artificial lifeform that wielded all seven elements. He had yet to be field tested, so all that work so far had just given Meliton a bed warmer. Oh yes, David was fully aware she was sleeping with her own creation, disgusting as it was. 

“Sorry to keep you all waiting,” Wyatt said with his annoying smile flashed at the room, and his wife in general. “But good news, everyone!” 

“Great. What’s gone wrong now?” David growled. He hated that stupid Futurama quote. 

“They’ve shut down my lab and confiscated my research,” Dr. Meliton said, glaring at Wyatt. 

“No, dear,” Doctor Mother sighed from behind her desk. “We’re relocating your equipment to a Black Site, away from the main complex. You’re going to get to continue to research this to your heart's content.”

What? 

“Sorry, Dave, wasn’t forcing a meme this time,” Wyatt apologized. David HATED it when people called him Dave. “This actually is great news.”

“We have discovered Original Sin, and all the world will pay for it,” Contessa whispered. David wouldn’t have heard her if he didn’t have enhanced senses and she wasn’t rocking back and forth in her chair, her eye’s vacant and glassy. 

“Wait, hold on. What exactly has happened?” President Becky said, and David could only nod in frustrated agreement.

“I was analyzing the samples from the Tohu and Bohu fight. We’re lucky we still had samples. Anyway, Asset Tyche wandered in with Albedo, and she reacted to the samples, which thus far had been entirely inconclusive,” Dr. Meliton said, sniffing in disdain. “This is all completely unnecessary. She’s rattling on with religious metaphors that have no place in the scientific process.”

“In this case, I think Sin is an apt metaphor, as it is a transgression against divine law. The creation of Tohu and Bohu by the Warrior required the use of Divine Power, which is not his to use.”

All eyes turned to Albedo, who after speaking, had gone back to simply standing silently. 

“How do you know that?” President Becky asked slowly. 

“The Endbringers are tied to the Thinker’s defunct network. The Warrior reactivated Tohu and Bohu with the use of the Gnosis. This is my analysis of the situation,” Albedo stated.

David’s eyes flicked to Contessa, but she was slowly nodding. “Yes, that…makes sense. These two Endbringers are…different. As is the Alpha Behemoth. He’s begun to incorporate Elemental Energy after seizing the Gnosis from the Tsaritsa. Those would be the objects of power she brought with her to this world, but Scion seized from her.”

“I agree with this analysis. The Gnosis seems to be an object of great power and significance to the Archons. They appear to have the same energy source as elemental energy, but also another exotic energy that has been categorized as ‘Divine Energy.’ It is the opposite of the exotic energy Dr. Meliton and the Director have discovered,” Albedo stated. 

A thrill filled David, and he found himself straightening up. “So, wait, if it’s the opposite of the Archons' energy…could it be used against them?” 

“Yes,” Contessa said quietly, drawing in on herself again. She rubbed her arms and shivered, her eyes unfocusing. “It could destroy them. It could destroy Scion and all the Shards. It could destroy…everything. It is death, it is death, it is death.”

“Further analysis required,” Albedo stated. 

“This is it,” David said, looking around, sudden resolve filling him. “You’ve done it. You’ve found our silver bullet. The only question is, how do we harness this energy?”

“Correction,” Wyatt said, and David nearly snarled at him. “The question is, how do we harness this energy WITHOUT killing ourselves and everyone else. If whatever this stuff is made of is dangerous enough to harm Archons and Entities…then it’s most assuredly bad news to us as well if we’re not real damn careful.”

“It is a sword with no hilt. It cuts the wielder before it cuts the foe,” Contessa whimpered. “All who take it up will become Sinners. Doomed and damned.”

“Dammit, Contessa, we need an analysis, not doomsaying!” Hannah snapped, and David flinched to hear it. He’d been about to say the same thing.

“That is my analysis,” Contessa mumbled, hiding her head in her arms and curling up into a ball in her chair. 

“This does have a great deal of potential,” Doctor Mother said with a nod. “But I agree with Wyatt. We need to proceed with caution. If we’re careless, Scion could discover this energy himself. Or we could end up destroying the world ourselves. But a weapon this potentially potent is one we must use. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” David said instantly, and was echoed by all the others, save one.

Contessa just moaned and shook her head. 

“Fortuna?” Doctor Mother said gently, getting up from behind her desk and coming around to kneel by the Thinker, putting a hand on her shoulder. “We do need your analysis.”

Slowly, the woman relaxed, a dreamy state coming over her. David recognized it as a Thinker Fugue coming over the girl. About time. All this nonsense with her doing drugs and injecting Elemental Energy was clearly not working. 

“This energy has the potential to be the solution, but I can’t Path it. Too many unknowns. There’s nothing in the Shard network about it, and the samples were too vague. Everything else I’ve said is based on Dreams and Visions. If only I could use real Hydromancy…”

“We proceed,” Doctor Mother said, standing up. “We’ll move it to Black Site Delta.”

“The Tucson Facility,” Becky said with a nod. “That works. But I want back up sites. We can use Able, Locus, and Mike facilities. Four teams. Put everything we have in it.”

“South Africa, Maui, and Brazil. That avoids putting all our eggs in one basket. I’ll take the Maui facility, I’ve always loved Hawaii!” Wyatt laughed. 

“I’ll head the Tucson Facility with Mr. Albedo,” Meliton said with a nod. David was sure she’d be giving that monster plenty of head. 

“This is a start, nothing more. Keep me updated when you know more than ‘it’s an exotic energy,’” President Becky said, standing. “Until then, we keep pressing on other fronts as well.”

David nodded, then moved to leave. Before he’d gone three steps out of the door though, a voice called, “David, wait up!” 

He stiffened as Hannah caught up to him. He tried to force himself not to frown. “Yes?”

“I just…I know the break up was rough. For both of us. I…I said things I regret,” Hannah said, looking away from David. 

He hesitated, then nodded. “I said things I shouldn’t have as well. I’m sorry. I don’t…I don’t think you’re a monster, Hannah.” Even if you did murder our child. “I just…it wasn’t going to work out.”

“No. I…I guess I should have said something. My body, my choice…but, shit. I should have at least told you,” Hannah said with a heavy sigh. She looked back at him. “Yeah, wouldn’t have worked out. But…still friends?”

“We’re both heroes. I’ll always have your back,” David said, and extended his hand.

Hannah took it, then nodded and left. David let out a heavy sigh. Had she been right? If the world was doomed…why not give a child an easy death, instead of the dragged out torture the rest would get?

No. No, he couldn’t think that way. He thought for a moment, then went back inside the room. The others had departed, save for Contessa, who was just sitting there, looking down at a cup of coffee with a donut in her hand. 

“I can’t tell you if this could fuel your powers or make you stronger, David. You’re thinking of yourself as David right now, right? Interesting. I could tell you why, but it doesn’t matter,” Contessa said dully. 

“That was what I was going to ask, I suppose,” David said, sitting down beside her. “But also-”

“No, I’m not OK,” Contessa said, looking up at him. “Neither are you, huh?”

“I…suppose I’m not,” David said slowly. “I just…could you read my future?”

“I could Path you, but that’s pointless. You’ve never been Pathable, not really. And you don’t like it when I do drugs,” Contessa said. 

David hesitated, then said, “I’ve compromised a lot. If it takes you getting a little high to win…well, so be it. You’re not just doing it for fun, right?”

“My Visions and Dreams are anything but fun,” Contessa said with a snort. She pulled a small clay dish out of her pocket. “Get me some water. Not tap water. Something pure, from a natural source.”

David took the bowl, then stood. “Door me. Horton Springs.” 

A door appeared to a spring David fondly remembered hearing his scout troop talk about. He’d never gone, of course. It wasn’t wheelchair accessible. He stepped out, dipped the bowl into the pool below the rocks where a natural spring gushed out, and then stepped back through the door to Contessa, who took the water. 

“Good. This water has a personal connection to you. That will make it easier,” she told him. 

She took out a stoppered vial that glowed a faint blue, the glass in a fanciful shape, like an old-timey potion. Unstoppering it, Contessa poured the elemental energy into the water and mixed it, before setting it on the ground between her legs and peering into it. 

David waited, feeling nervous. What would she see?

“There is a great darkness ahead for you, David Ward. One I cannot see through. But at the end of it all…a light. You will face trials and tribulations, and be faced with terrible, terrible choices. But at the end of it all…at the end of it all, I think you can be the hero you wish to be.” Contessa looked up and met David’s eyes. “This isn’t like Pathing something. It’s not a simple question or probabilities. It’s images, shapes, ripples and reflections. This viewing was obscured. If only I had a real Hydro Vision…but those don’t exist yet. And I have no idea how you’d even get one. I guess I could ask Nahida. Anyway. Don’t give up hope yet.”

“Never. I’ll fight to the end,” David said, standing. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to save humanity.”

“That’s what scares me, sometimes. What wouldn’t we do, David?” Contessa whispered, her eyes drifting back to her glowing dish. 

“Nothing. The price of failure is everything. All of humanity dead. And success…success is worth any price.”

“I’m sorry you said that. Because you will be asked to pay everything,” Contessa whispered. 

David felt his heart lurch. Well. Messiahs usually didn’t survive saving their people. He nodded, and left, but though he had just had his death foretold, his heart was lighter. 

It had all been worth it. He was still a hero. 

But David Ward should have realized that his life was not the price that would be required of him, for it was not what he valued most. 

PHILO: Wow. This is basically being the audience in a B-List horror sci-fi movie and you’re screaming at the scientists who are somehow missing all the signs of imminent doom.

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 5

Animula Choragi 5: Small One

Being a dishwasher was a very different life from being the National Mascot of Fontaine. Instead of wearing the finest outfits and traveling in the highest luxury, Furina wore second-hand clothes that ended up grease-stained and smudged, and she was carried about in dirty, smelly metro cars, often on the very last train of the day when she was dead on her feet. Instead of pâtissiers the world over competing to bring her the finest of desserts, she wolfed down whatever was left over at the end of her shift, and treated herself to cheap ice cream bars. 

 And yet…and yet, Furina was having the time of her life. In fact, Furina felt like, for once, she WAS having a life! She’d bring Yennifer takeout for a late lunch in her office around 3pm if she wasn’t with a client, arranged over the wondrous device known as a “cellular phone” that they had purchased. After the restaurant closed and before the last train at 1:30am, Furina would sit and laugh and eat with Julie, Ling, and Uncle Mao (which he now insisted she call him) while they shared a few beers or a bottle of wine and ate whatever Ling or Uncle Mao whipped up for their dinner. 

She even had two days off! Mondays the Restaurant was closed, and Sundays were slow enough that Furina wasn’t needed. Yen had Sunday’s off too, and after exactly two weeks on Earth Bet, Yennifer took Furina and Charlotte to the Louvre. 

“If you’re going to stay in Paris, you simply have to see the Louvre. It will be quite crowded, but if you’re going to have an appreciation for the French Arts, it’s the perfect place to start,” Yennifer told Furina. 

“Really? Have you been there often?” Furina asked, rather excited at the prospect. She rather enjoyed art galleries and museums, though she’d not often had the time to visit. The Galerie d'Histoire Naturelle in Fontaine had been home to a number of remarkable artifacts, and the Salle des Beaux-Arts d'Egeria hosted the best collection of fine art on Teyvat, with scholars from Sumeru and aficionado from as far away as Inazuma traveling to marvel at the collection. 

Furina did hope the museums’ collections had survived the flood. It would be tragic if the great history of Fontaine had been washed away by the waters. 

“It’s alright, I guess. I called Barbs, she’ll meet us there,” Charlotte said. She was wearing a nicer dress than usual, pink to go with her cream-colored blouse, along with a red striped newsboy cap and practical black shoes. 

“Really? I’m surprised the two of you want to come,” Yennifer commented, then she frowned. “Unless, wait…is there some sort of exposé you’re doing?” 

“Hehe, you know me! Always got a story!” Charlotte laughed as they left the apartment. 

Yennifer had on a red and white sun dress herself, with short one-centimeter heels on brown shoes with stockings. She also had on a warm brown beret, along with a rather nice purse Furina hadn’t seen her wear before. 

For herself, Furina had on her nicest outfit; a long-sleeve white shirt with a blue jacket, dark blue knee length skirt, black stockings, and some cute blue shoes with two centimeter heels. She’d gotten a very practical and cute blue bag that matched her eyes from a second-hand store, which Charlotte had helped her accent with something she called a “bedazzler”. They’d made a blue hydro drop in sapphire colored beads on it, and Furina quite liked the effect. 

She also, of course, had a hat, in this case a black beret that Yennifer had loaned her. Her hair was now dyed buttery blonde, including her eyebrows. They’d go to a salon for a proper haircut later, but for now Furina was just using a beauty charm she’d learned long ago. The first time she’d used it, Yennifer had been rather shocked, seeing Furina just chant a magic spell to change her hair from its long form that hung down to the small of her back, to the bob cut she was sporting now.

“I thought you said you didn’t have any special powers?!” Yennifer had gasped, hand to her chest. 

“Hmm? This? Anyone can learn to do this, it’s just a standard beauty charm,” Furina told Yen, her brow furrowed. “The hardest part was getting enough elemental energy, but Ling had some slime condensate on hand, and that worked perfectly well as a catalyst since you don’t have mora.”

“Wait, ANYONE can just change the length of their hair?! Are you serious?!” Yennifer had gasped. 

“Yes, though if you want a proper haircut, you do still need a stylist,” Furina said, peering into the bathroom mirror and adjusting her hair slightly. Normally, she saw a stylist once a week, but it had been almost a month since her last haircut, thanks to the insanity her life had been. “This just modifies the length. You do have to perform a short ritual to set that length, and changing it can be a bore, but it is oh so very worth it if you want to vary your look.”

“Can you teach me?!” Charlotte had asked, eyes aglow with passion as she stuck her head into the bathroom. 

“Yes, though I’m really jealous. As a Vision Holder, you have an unlimited amount of elemental energy to use. I always had to palm some mora to get people to think I was generating it,” Furina said with a sigh. 

Right at this moment, Furina had grown her hair out again. She’d shorten it when it was time for work on Tuesday, but that was simple enough. 

They rode the metro all the way to the Louvre, which turned out to have an enormous glass pyramid at the center. Furina was impressed by the architecture, but also by the great crowds of people attempting to enter the museum. There was a sign on the front, which read “Arms and Armor: Closed.”

“They’ve figured it out, then,” Yennifer said with a nod. “Though I imagine Cookie probably told them.”

“Figured what out?” Furina asked as they approached the queue. 

“Ancient weapons and armor have recently become potent weapons,” Yennifer said, her tone grim. “All those old swords and suits of armor? They’re going to be pressed for battlefield use.”

“Well…of course? Why wouldn’t the old weapons be the most potent? They’ve had more time to absorb the memories and will of their wielders, as well as elemental energy,” Furina said with a frown. “Modern weapons do have some advantages, but the truly powerful relics will always be superior to what a blacksmith can mass produce, let alone a factory.” 

“See it’s when you say stuff like that that we can totally tell you’re an alien,” Charlotte said, her head down as she tapped away at her phone. She looked up, a grin on her face. “Barbs is already here! There she is! Hellloooo! Barbara!” 

A young girl already in line halfway to the front eagerly waved to them, and Charlotte ran over to hug her friend. The other girl looked to be about the same age as Charlotte, dressed in a shirt with stockings, along with a tan jacket and a black cap. Her blonde hair was in twin tails, and she had on a pair of glasses with blue rims. 

“Bonjour, Barbara,” Yennifer said, smiling at the youth as she and Furina approached. “This is-”

“She’s going to say Furina isn’t her girlfriend, but she’s totally her girlfriend,” Charlotte said in a stage whisper that made both Yennifer and Furina blush mightily. 

Barbara elbowed Charlotte and extended a hand to Furina. “Hello! It’s nice to meet you. I’m Barbara d’Orleans. Charlotte’s told me all about you, so I’m excited we can finally meet!” 

“Um, not too much, I hope,” Furina said, glancing at Charlotte, who grinned and gave her a thumbs up. “I’m Furina de Fontaine, it’s a pleasure, I’m sure.”

“So what exactly are you two filming today?” Yennifer asked as they moved up in the queue, which was going at a fairly good clip. 

“It’s for a school project, actually. We’re supposed to write an essay on the influence of Parahumans on Modern Art, and there’s a new gallery that’s just opened. So we’ll be taking pictures for school,” Barbara said. 

“But, we’re adding a new wrinkle! I am, of course, advocating that we are in a NEW age of art, one influenced by Vision Holders and Archons even MORE than Parahumans!” Charlotte said, her eyes getting that familiar gleam again. “So, we’re going to investigate how that whole wing has been shut down, and just what the new government is doing with those powerful relics!” 

“Just don’t sneak anywhere I would have to literally bail you out of,” Yennifer said with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m always careful,” Charlotte said with a grin. Barbara actually rolled her eyes at that, and even Furina had to smile. 

She very nearly said, “Just like the time when you infiltrated the sweatshops in the Fleuve Cendre?” but then she recalled that this was a different Charlotte entirely. Instead she just said, “I’m sure. Do take care of her, Barbara. Our intrepid little reporter forgets she’s a mere mortal like the rest of us, sometimes.”

“Oh is that what you are?” Charlotte said with a wink at Furina, which made her blush and Yennifer scowl. But the teen was already spinning about on her heel. “Come on, Barbs! The Truth awaits us!” 

“Alright, but let’s not get into trouble this time, please. I’d really rather not have to call my mother again…”

“She should be grateful her daughter has such a thirst for Truth and Justice! Now come along!” Charlotte said, waving her student ID at the teller, who gave her a ticket. Then she and Barbara ran off, drawing some looks from other visitors at their display of youthful exuberance. 

“Two, please, both Citizens,” Yennifer said, handing over both her and Furina’s passports. 

“Students?” the attendant asked, glancing at Furina and Yennifer with a bored expression. 

“No, I’ve graduated, Furina is employed,” Yennifer explained. 

“It’s Sunday, so it’s 50%. Ten for the both of you,” the attendant said, and Yennifer handed over a few coins. It still fascinated Furina that the money was nothing but simple metal disks. She’d heard that in the ancient past, precious metals had been used as tokens of exchange, before the rise of Rex Lapis. But that was so long ago as to be basically incomprehensible, even to someone as old as Furina. She might be half a millenia old, but the Lord of the Adepti was…no, had been nearly 8,000 years old. 

Hard to believe he’s gone…or that he never even existed here in the first place. That’s like imagining that the very bones of the world themselves have fallen. 

Even gods die, eventually. I remember still with horror, seeing when Lady Egeria fell to the Abyss. I was there at the battle, acting as a healer and support, as I was never very good at conflict. Neither was Egeria, really, but the power she possessed was needed. And of course, there was my own Death. Though that was something I planned myself. 

Furina hesitated a moment, following after Yennifer and listening as she explained the parts of the museum with a half a mind. Almost reluctantly, she thought in the direction of Focalor’s voice. 

Did…did we both die? 

I am afraid so. I did not intend for you to perish, Furina. You were to live on, free at last of the burdens I gave you. I had thought the Hydro Authority would pass to Neuvillette. It should have. But something interfered. I am sorry. I suppose that I should have known I couldn’t kill myself, without killing you as well. After all, you were my Humanity, and I your Divinity. Even separated, one could not live without the other. 

Furina blinked, then played back what Yennifer had been saying. “Let’s start with the Richelieu Wing, and work our way forwards. I know almost nothing about this world’s history, and a grounding in that will help me appreciate the more modern works in the other wings.”

“That’s good, the current Theme is ‘Pour la gloire de Dieu,’ and focuses on the history of the Church and it’s influence on art up through the Reformation and the French Counter Reformation,” Yennifer said with a smile. 

Furina leaned in close and whispered, “You, ah, may have to explain what this ‘church,’ is. I’m only really familiar with the Favonian Church. While the Hydro Archon is revered, Fontainians aren’t a very religious or devoute people.” 

“Oh you’ll get along famously with the French then, as modern France rather prides itself on how secular it is. But a grounding in Western Christendom can only be for the good. Here, we’ll start with the Late Classical Period, and Roman Depictions of Jesus Christ.” 

The first images they saw were mosaics and frescos of a man with a divine halo about his head, surrounded by others. Yennifer pointed and whispered, “That’s Jesus of Nazareth. I’m a Christian myself, so I’m a bit biased, but he was the Son of God, sent to forgive the sins of Mankind around 2000 years ago.” 

“Wait, I thought you worshiped Lord Barbatos?” Furina whispered back. 

“Yes, but he’s only an angel, that’s what Archons are. Barbatos is the Angel of Freedom, sent to free the world. Jesus is actually God. You, er, know what that means, right?” 

“Assume that I don’t,” Furina said with a slight shake of her head. She was getting the impression that Yennifer defined god and gods rather differently than she did.

“Well, I’m no priest, but essentially, God is the Creator of Everything. He is Three Beings in One, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Jesus is the Son of the Father, but he also is the Father.”

That made absolutely zero sense to Furina. How could he be both the Son and the Father?

She heard tinkling laughter in the back of her head, and shot an irritated, What? In Focalors direction. 

Oh, Furina. You are my Daughter, but you are also me. You are my Humanity, while I am your Divinity. We are one and the same again, but for a time we were separate. You and this Jesus have more in common than you might think. 

Well, that was disturbing. Furina was officially going crazy. The very idea that she was the same person as the Hydro Archon. If that were true, she wouldn’t have flailed about helplessly for five hundred years without the faintest clue as to what was going on. 

But you did succeed, didn’t you? 

Furina firmly ignored Focalors and focused on what Yennifer was saying. 

“-so after the Original Sin of Adam and Eve, eating the Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil, God made a plan with Himself to one day save mankind from destruction, as otherwise Sin would doom all of humanity to eternal destruction.”

“Oh. That does sound rather like the Prophecy,” Furina said, nodding slowly. “So, that’s why this Jesus became a human, even though he was properly a god?”

“Not a god, THE God. The only one,” Yennifer explained. Furina just nodded. She seemed to think that you could only be a god if you were the Primordial One, creator of all things. She supposed it was just semantics. To her, you were a god if you had Divine Authority. Yennifer seemed to think that made you an angel or Archon. She supposed at some point she’d have to explain one didn’t need to be a god to be an Archon, though they usually were. The Pyro Archons were all mortal, after all. Furina had never met any of them as they never left Natlan, but she’d corresponded with them and sent the occasional ambassador. 

“So, God formed a special contract with a specific group of people, called the Children of Israel, or Jews.”

“Of course, that’s only natural. Most gods choose one group of people to guide and favor,” Furina said with a nod. This was actually starting to seem logical after that whole “Father and Son are one” nonsense. 

Focalors started laughing again. Honestly. Thank Egeria Furina hadn’t had the woman in her head for five hundred years. She really would have gone crazy. Even if it would have been nice to have a little more communication.

I could have spoken to you at any time, actually. I was sorely tempted more times than I can count. It was so very painful to see you struggle, my beloved. But you did perform so magnificently. As well as I could have, actually. Which only makes sense, since you are me. 

Oh shut up. This is interesting, I’m trying to focus. 

Very well. Do try to find your Ideal of Justice soon, Furina. There are many mortals awaiting their Visions. 

Isn’t that nice for them. I rather would have liked to have a Vision myself, you know! It would have been quite useful!

Is that so? Well, perhaps we shall have to see about getting you one, then. 

‘-and so from that same line of King David, Jesus was born to the Virgin Mary by the power of the Holy Ghost. Mary remained a Virgin her entire life, guiltless and free of Sin. Does that make sense?” Yennifer prompted. 

It had better, seeing as your own mother is a virgin, young lady. 

I thought I told you to hush!? And really, I did not need to know about your sex life, or lack thereof! 

“Of course, a god having a child with a mortal woman without having congress with them is something I’ve heard of before,” Furina agreed. Wait. Was Focalors her mother? That was…well that was both disturbing and extremely saddening. She’s always assumed she was a regular mortal woman that Focalors had shaped into her clone, or some sort of hydro mimic given human form. She’d angsted about her original family quite a lot in that first century. Well, and the second. And third. Alright, she’d always worried about that. 

“Well, since Jesus was the Son of God, God made Man, he was able to die on the Cross for the Sins of mankind,” Yennifer said, and pointed to a painting that showed a man with a crown of thorns, nailed to a tree, suffering and dying as angels floated around him and a woman wept at his feet, a man reaching up to him in agony. 

Furina’s breath caught, and tears suddenly filled her eyes. 

“Though he was guiltless…he gave up his own life…to save his people,” Furina whispered. “Because that was the only way for Justice to be done.”

“I, well…I suppose that’s one way of looking at it,” Yennifer said slowly. “I’ve always struggled with that part, personally. One of the reasons I walked out of the church when I was eighteen. The other, is, um…well.”

“Walked out of the Church?” Furina said, wiping at her eyes with the handkerchief she’d pulled out of her purse. Her makeup was going to be a mess. 

“Yes, well…that’s about the time I realized I was gay, and up until Lord Barbados arrived, that was, um, somewhat frowned upon,” Jennifer admitted, shifting nervously from foot to food. “How, ah, how were homosexuals treated in Fontaine?” 

“Frowned upon? Why? Because they don’t have children? That wasn’t really a problem in Fontaine, there were always plenty of orphans to adopt, and I always had trouble finding where to place them all. One of the ways the House of the Hearth got its tentacles in things,” Furina said with a shudder.

Yennifer blinked at Furina, then grinned widely and suddenly hugged her. Furina was a bit startled, but seeing as how they shared a bed, the only shocking thing about this sudden display of intimacy was that Yennifer was doing it in public. 

“Thank you,” Yennifer whispered. “Even if…never mind. I just…thank you. If the Archons do nothing else, they’ve made people like me feel human again. And loved.”

“Um, I’m glad?” Furina said, still a bit baffled. Wait. “Hold on, are you saying that homosexuality was…illegal!? Why!? Not even Decambrian was that mad!” 

Yennifer hiccuped and squeezed Furina again. “Teyvat must have been a wonderful place, if everyone was so accepting.”

“Uh, well, I think perhaps we were just unaccepting of other things,” Furina said a wince. “You’d um, well let’s just say you’d have received a frosty reception at times in Fontaine…”

Yennifer jerked back, her expression suddenly horrified. “You mean, they used to discriminate against lesbians too?”

“No, that’s nonsense,” Furina said firmly. Then, she gently touched Yennifers horns. “No, you just…you look beast-blooded. Those with the blood of, ah, Enlightened Beasts…they have often faced hardship. I had to work very hard to enshrine their rights, and the rights of melusines. Humanity can be quite cruel…”

Yennifer blinked a few times, then laughed and touched her own horns. “Well, that I can actually understand! Parahumans are possessed by demons, and I can see why people would think those with animal blood were the same.”

“They are not!” Furina cried, raising her voice unintentionally. More than a few people were already glaring at her and Yennifer for their over-exuberance, and Furina blushed, then towed Yennifer away to a quieter corner. “They are not,” she repeated in quieter tones. “Enlightened Beasts might not be human, but they are people. They have the same rights and dignity that a human does. So do melusines. Anyone who would discriminate against you or anyone else simply because their ancestry isn’t human are the worst sort of people.”

“You’ll have to explain what a melusine is later, because to my mind, that’s a sort of mermaid, or perhaps the Lady of the Lake from Le Morte d’Arthur,” Yennifer said, patting at her own eyes. “Well, anyway, let’s go through the art so you can learn the history of the Church and its place in France throughout the ages. It was very influential not just on art, but on our laws as well.”

“Oh? You’ll have to explain the legal ramifications,” Furina said, instantly even more interested in the subject. 

“Of course, religion and law are always intertwined,” Yennifer agreed, though Furina thought the statement was hogwash. Religion was just a bunch of rituals to appease the gods, or get something from them. The Law was about Justice. 

I think perhaps this world has a very different relationship with its gods than what we are used to. We shall have to pay careful attention. Justice in this world seems to have had a very different history. 

For once, Furina agreed with Focalors wholeheartedly. 

“Christian legal theory is heavily influenced by Judaism, and while Naomi might be more qualified to speak on that specifically than I am, she’s a fellow Knight and one of Barbados’ closest confidants, I can tell you that since ancient times, Western Legal Traditions have been heavily influenced by the Ten Commandments, as well as…”

Yennifer began to expound passionately on the history law as they walked through the art galleries, and Furina was instantly enraptured. She interrupted at a few points to ask questions, especially with things that seemed alien to her. 

“But then if it’s so progressive on the rights of slaves, why did you mention earlier that it talked about slaves obeying their masters?”

“That was really more of a relationship between employer and employee, not the dehumanizing slavery that was more broadly practiced, closer to indentured servitude or a term of service, but it was used that way by certain elements. No, the focus was more on Grace and Mercy, concepts that are often at disharmony with the law.”

“I disagree! True Justice needs to incorporate mercy as well!” Furina argued. “Justice is not Blind, and the law must be interpreted by reasonable minds. The spirit behind the law, not the mere letter, is what should be strictly enforced. This is why an orphan caught stealing bread, or a mother concealing her son’s crimes should be treated differently than a thief stealing jewels or a con man lying to swindle others, even if they break the same laws!” 

“Ah,” Yennifer said, her eyes sparkling. “Indeed. That’s why I’m a defense attorney, not a prosecutor. Just because someone is guilty of a crime under the law does not mean it would be truly just to seek out the maximum punishment. Though I find it interesting you say Justice is not blind. See there, that statue? That is Justice, blindfolded with a scale in her hands.”

“The NERVE!” Furina gasped, whirling on the statue, and she felt the same indignation from Focalors. “I was NEVER blind, and neither was Egeria! She wasn’t the God of Justice, but she was the Lawgiver of Fontaine! Focalors as Hydro Archon WAS the God of Justice, however, and I assure you that I NEVER closed my eyes while judging a case! Impartial?! No true Judge is impartial! I can’t BEGIN to tell you how many arguments I had with Neuvillete about this! The purpose of the Oratrice wasn’t to make Justice Blind, it was to ensure that Justice SAW!” 

Furina suddenly blinked, realizing what she was saying. She wasn’t the God of Justice! Though she had more than once gotten a little too invested in her role, that didn’t mean she should start thinking like she was. 

“Um, sorry. I, ah, well, I played Focalors long enough that sometimes…sometimes I forget I don’t have to pretend that I am her anymore,” Furina said timidly. Though some of what she had said couldn’t quite be explained by that…

All she felt from Focalors was a…warmth? Like, pride? Or perhaps…love? Oh dear. 

I think you are closer to finding your Justice than you might think, Furina. 

“Anyway, what about this Jesus? What were his views on Justice?” Furina demanded, trying to change the subject. 

“Well,” Yennifer said, eyes sparkling. “Let me tell you about the time he threw out the moneylenders from the temple. I always did like that story.” 

There was a painting to go with that one, called “Christ Cleansing the Temple,” painted some 500 years ago by El Greco, and on loan from an American museum. Apparently, this Son of God had similar views on predatory lending practices that Furina did. She well remembered working with Neuvillette to get laws passed on that back in her first Century. That was a legacy she could be proud of. 

“Hmm, I have to say, I like his style!” Furina said, smiling at the painting. “So, I take it France has sensibly outlawed predatory loans as well?” 

Yennifer just groaned. “I’ll tell you about credit cards later…I don’t want to get depressed right now…”

Credit cards? That sounded suspicious. Furina wasn’t one with a head for finance or money, and never had been. Math had always been a struggle for her; numbers just didn’t make as much sense to her as words and people did. But even her limited understanding of economics had been enough to realize that high-interest loans and been a way to prey on the poor and vulnerable by the wealthy bankers and opportunistic loan sharks. She’d put her foot down on that. 

They were just finishing the exhibits of religious art, when an explosion shook the building and several people cried out in panic. Including Furina, who ducked and covered her head, looking around wildly. 

“That was from the Denon Wing! Where Charlotte is!” Yennifer gasped, reaching up to pull off one of her horns. She glanced at Furina, who was crouching on the floor, a rising sense of panic within her. 

What can I do, what can I do!? It’s like Poisson all over again!

If you are ready to pick up your Mantle, my daughter, the power is yours. Though I would hesitate to do so if violence is going to be the answer. Neither you nor I were ever all that suited to combat. 

Furina barely even registered what Focalors was nattering on about. She looked up at Yennifer, saw the fear and pain in her eyes, and knew she had to do something. 

“C-come on,” Furina said, getting shackily to her feet as alarms began to blare. Her teeth were clattering together so hard that Furina could feel her enamel chipping. “W-we have to get Charlotte.” 

“Right, this way,” Yennifer said, pulling off her antler and lighting it on fire. She hurried through the halls, Furina right after here. 

“Stop!” an authoritative voice called, and a museum guard with a pistol appeared. It looked different than a Fontainian flintlock, but Furina could recognize it was some sort of gun. 

“Knight of Favonius!” Yennifer said, holding up her burning antler. “I assume it’s cape trouble? I’m here to help. Captain Yennifer Lustria, at your service.”

The guard hesitated, then lowered his weapon. He was a middle-aged, balding man, and didn’t look terribly thrilled at the prospect of cape trouble. “Er, right, we’ll need to verify your identity, but-”

“No time for that, you can check my credentials later. My little sister and her friend are in the wing where the blast occurred. Get on your radio and let them know you’ve got a friendly cape on site willing to help,” Yennifer barked in a tone that brooked no argument. 

“Right, um, and you, miss?” the guard said, looking to Furina.

“Er,” Furina shot a look at Yennifer, still shaking. She really had no idea what ‘cape trouble’ meant, but if this was anything like a fight, Furina wasn’t certain what exactly she could contribute aside from moral support. 

“She’s with me,” Yennifer said firmly. “Come on!” 

The guard started yelling into a device that seemed similar to a cellular phone about “backup,” while Yennifer charged forward, holding her burning antler aloft as panicked museum goers cried out and shrank to either side of them. There were more blasts ahead, not as loud as the first, along with sharp reports Furina recognized as gunfire. Each of them made her jump and squeak in fright, which caused Yennifer to frown at her.

“Come on, Furina. There has to be something you can do,” she growled at her. 

“I’m an actress! If you want me to recite a monologue or mime a sword fight I can do that, but the only thing I know about fighting is that I’m very bad at it!” Furina hissed, her eyes darting around for danger. 

“Are you sure? Because now isn’t the time to prevaricate!” Yennifer said as they raced through the rapidly emptying galleries. 

“If I knew how to fight, maybe I wouldn’t have had nightmares for months after the Knave threatened to assassinate me!” Furina said, tears coming to her eyes. Hot tears of frustration and fear began to course down her cheeks. 

She didn’t even notice that the previously sunny day suddenly became clouded over, with a steady downpour beginning out of nowhere. 

Yennifer opened her mouth, but there was a flash, and the temperature dropped ever more sharply than the rain could explain, as a wall of ice formed ahead of them. 

“Charlotte!” Yennifer cried out, and surged forward, only for Furina to tackle her to the ground, right as the air above them distorted, then exploded in a burst of iridescent light. 

“Bordel de merde! This was supposed to be a fast job!” a man’s voice growled. 

Furina scrambled to the side, dragging Yennifer with her just as another distortion formed and exploded, throwing up bits of tile from where they’d been lying a second ago. 

“That…that’s not Charlotte,” Furina gasped, her eyes very wide, tears still leaking from her eyes that she had squeezed shut. 

“No, no it is not,” Yennifer snarled, then tossed her burning antler down the hallway. There was a bang, and more swearing, then another blast of light. 

“Get through that ice! That little connasse isn’t keeping us out!” the man roared. 

Furina peaked around the corner to see a group of individuals in black-knitted masks pulled over their faces, one of them in a more elaborate outfit with a red and yellow mask that looked like a screaming rooster. She cried out as one lifted a rifle, ducking back just as a spray of bullets sent chips of mortar flying. 

Yennifer tossed another antler down the hall, but she could only grow them so quickly. Furina looked around in panic, then spotted an elderly couple hiding in a nook not far away. The man was clutching his side and bleeding, while the woman had a dazed expression. 

“I’m going to help them,” Furina said, pointing to the couple. “I, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do anything against those thugs.”

Yennifer jerked a nod, her brow furrowed in consternation, and Furina scrambled towards the injured elders, feeling useless and afraid, as usual. 

“It’s alright, I’m here to help,” Furina said, but then realized she’d not spoken French to them as she took off her jacket. She wasn’t even sure what language she had spoken. It didn’t sound like any other language she’d spoken before, though these people felt…well, not the same as the French, but like they were close to her, somehow. 

“Please, my wife, she fell,” the man gasped, clutching at his side. “Help her.”

“I will, grandfather, but let me tie this around you, that looks bad,” Furina said, and quickly ripped up her clothes to make an impromptu bandage. She wasn’t trained in first aid, that wasn’t something she’d ever had time to study, but she knew you had to put pressure on a wound.

Her hasty bandage did seem to help, and she helped the man lean up against the wall, trying to ignore the fighting. The rain had stopped as abruptly as it had come, as Furina was now too busy to keep crying. She looked at the woman, and winced when she saw one of her pupils was larger than the other. That was bad, though she didn’t know how bad, or what exactly it meant. 

Possible brain injury. I’m sorry, medicine was never one of my specialties either. Don’t let her go to sleep. Her name is Maite. Her husband is Iker. 

“Maite?” Furina said, and the woman’s gaze shifted to her, though she still looked out of it. “Maite, I need you to stay with me, OK? Iker, please, keep pressure on that. I don’t want to move you, I-”

The glass window near them suddenly shattered, and Furina screamed, trying to shelter Iker and Maite with her body. She looked up to see a man in a rather ornate red silk jacket, a vest under it, tight fitting pants that went just below his knees, and square toed, high heeled red shoes. He looked like a court dandy from the Fontaine of a century ago, save for one thing:

The hideous grey iron mask that covered his face. 

He looked down at Furina for a moment, then his form suddenly shimmered. She gasped in shock, her eyes going wide.

“Captain von Dresch?!” Only, no. Something was wrong. His face was crueler, and he was just a bit shorter, with a larger nose than before, and the clothes were the wrong shade. 

“Close enough,” the man growled. “Stay down.”

He stalked forward, raising his cane. “I will have QUIET!” 

The cacophony of battle instantly dulled, and Yennifer looked up and nodded in relief at von Dresch, or whomever it was.

Then a moment later, the real von Dresch soared through the window on a breeze and adjusted his suit. He glanced at Furina, then did a double take. “Lady Furina! What are you-”

“Captain, please, these two are injured!” Furina said, motioning to the frightened Iker and Maite, who were clinging to one another in fear. “Can’t you help them?!”

“But can’t you…” von Dresch shook his head. “Of course. I’m not the best with healing, but I’ll do what I can.” 

He knelt, extending his hand as the Vision on his cravat glowed brightly. Winds wrapped about both Iker and Maite, and their wounds vanished. 

“Thank you,” Furina said in what was probably German, then quickly helped the elderly couple to their feet and switched to whatever language it was they spoke. “Please, come with me! The exit is this way, I’ll help you to safety!” 

“You speak Basque?” von Dresch asked, clearly surprised. “Never mind, of course you do. Yes, get them out. Though I had expected you to-”

“I’m an actress, Captain. I have no idea if you think I project an air of martial excellence or not, but I assure you, I’m about as helpful in a fight as these two are,” Furina said firmly. 

She hurried the couple away from the fighting, saying a quick prayer for Yennifer and Charlotte. 

Lord Barbatos, please, protect those two in this hour of need! I don’t know if you’re France’s Archon or not, but they need your help!

There was silence, of course, Furina never expected to hear from the gods, but she’d do anything to help Yennifer and Charlotte. 

Then, to her shock, an unfamiliar voice spoke as a stiff breeze filled the corridor.

Focalors? 

She groaned. For once in her life, a god actually listened to her prayer, and they had the wrong damn address. 

Author’s Note: 

Yennifer was raised Catholic, so her accounting of theology is (more or less) in line with that. She might be a bit confused on a few points, and the Church of Barbados would disagree with her on Mary being eternally sinless, as most of them were originally Lutheran. 

Furina however has probably the weirdest theology ever. 

Also, I seriously haven’t seen that many musicals and operas, so, uh, I might get creative in the chapter titles.