In all 50 American states, asking someone to read your novel is considered a form of assault, an act that can legally be responded to with force. Approaching a stranger to request they consume 150,000 words of your awkwardly creepy fantasies is a great way to wind up in the emergency room with a rolled-up m...
2022-01-20 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostThe people of the '90s knew a world would one day exist within ours-- a world where love was blobbing together into one big goo and everything was a game except when you died. Accessing data would be as simple as marching a you-shaped avatar through endless halls of filing cabinets. We invited 2022-01-19 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Bonus audio for patrons.Â
2022-01-19 13:00:00 +0000 UTC View PostIf 1-900🌠had an official vehicle, it would be a custom van. You know, one with a waterbed instead of a backseat and herpes instead of seatbelts and something bitchin’ airbrushed on the side, like badass dragons in a firecloud being ridden by lightning wizards or something. That’s just a hypothetical...
2022-01-18 13:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostI've always been shocked by the audacity of Garfield. What has Garfield accomplished? He lives in another man's home, steals his lasagna, and he doesn't have a single life skill that I recall, living only to sass others. Garfield survives on his wit, so of course he's the perfect mascot for Garfield's I...
2022-01-17 13:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostSupernatural WikiHow is a huge part of the site, which I understand even less than Normie WikiHow. It is Normie Wikihow’s job to teach you how to tie a Double Windsor, and they do it so poorly they’re liable in the hanging deaths of 18 children. When you follow a Normie WikiHow guide, you start out with...
2022-01-13 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Bonus episode audio for patrons.
2022-01-12 15:44:41 +0000 UTC View PostThis week on the Dogg Zzone 9000, our guest is fantasy author, podcaster, and licensed barbarian Brian McClellan! Brian is the author of the acclaimed Powder Mage series and host of the 2022-01-12 13:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
I hear a lot of people talking shit about how I can't write a list anymore, how I only think in single points or in long, borderline-deranged essays about the meaning of modern life. Motherfucker, I...
2022-01-11 13:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostIt's 2022, a time to improve yourself or pretend that you want to improve yourself, or finally announce this is as good as it gets and you're giving up. So many options! When I was considering how to kick off 2022, the universe sent me inspiration in the form of a photo of a bunch of men who look like their...
2022-01-10 13:01:02 +0000 UTC View PostWelcome, ðŸŒs, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that each of us wears a secret waifu tie with a hidden image of the other. But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!
First let’s check in ...
2022-01-07 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostOur talented and hilarious friends made some amazing art in 2021, and there were so many! Our little Hot Dog Family really grew into something formidable this year. It’s time to start a small army, or maybe an average-sized funk band.
When we launched the Dogg Zzone 9000 last year, we honestly had no idea what it was about. You can hear us in those early episodes trying all sorts of zany shit just hoping to land on the one hook that would make us stand out in a crowded market. We did not find it, we forgot we were ever looking f...
2022-01-05 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post2021 was, above all, a deeply Upsetting Year. There were hate crimes and impending wars, the looming threat of fascism at home and abroad, a couple new plagues, we think there was a meteor? Was there a meteor in there? How better to meet an Upsetting Year than with even more Upsetting Days? You are in our h...
2022-01-04 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostWe fucked so much in 2021 we left a rising tide of babies that threaten to drown this culture. They’re going to have to name a whole generation after us. Sorry, Generation Wiener, here are the Fucking Days that defined your conception.
2021 was a fantastic year for nerds: you got big swingin’ dork movies, huge video game releases, and nobody stuffed you in a locker unless you had lockers in your house and married a bully – which you probably did because the sex is crazy. But most of all, you got all these prime nerding days!
In 2021, we formed the ultimate Tag Team to take down some of the mightiest comedy material. Material too dense and terrifying for one comedy writer alone, material that would rapidly age and destroy any one solo comedian who dared approach it with fear in their heart. But all of this magnificent material f...
2021-12-30 13:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostWhat a fantastic year 2021 was! We spent the whole year head down in Hot Dog magic – fighting dicks and fleeing Beezbos, catching murderers and watching cowboys get CTE.** It’s been plainly wonderful in every single way. And now, to poke our heads out and check how the year went for literally everything...
2021-12-29 13:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Bonus episode audio for patrons.
2021-12-29 13:00:00 +0000 UTC View PostThis is the punchingest of all possible Punching Days, where we look back on all the best punches of 2021. There was jab! Roundhouse! Oh man, you guys remember left straight? Holy shit, uppercut - this was your year!
It’s time for our Great Annual Hot Dog Performance Review, where we look back on the year’s articles and try to gauge exactly how much we ruled this year. We scratched out the ‘weaknesses’ section on our evaluation sheet, and instead drew a picture of a lion with a mullet. Everything here kicks at l...
2021-12-27 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post269 Amazing SEX TIPS & TRICKS FOR HER by "happily unmarried" Anne Hooper and Phillip Hodson is a 2001 answer to the question, "Sehks? Where am sehks?" It's terrible at everything it goes for. When it tries to be a practical sex manual, it's more of a dildo catalog. And when it tries to be a beg...
2021-12-24 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
It was the best of times, it was the end of times. It was all times and no time at all. It was the Great Transversing of the Nameless Ones in our world. In 2021, as every year, it would be opposed by the sacrificial offerings of The Pumblechook & Figg Holidays Catalog of Boxing-Day Gifts.
2021-12-23 13:00:07 +0000 UTC
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When three pop culture luminaries such as us and Gamefully Unemployed's David Bell get together, three things are going to happen: someone is going to...
2021-12-22 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Bonus episode audio for patrons.
2021-12-22 13:00:01 +0000 UTC View PostThis holiday season, let's take some time to learn of the many fine Christmas traditions from other cultures. By that, I mean the culture of New Jersey. You might have heard the ridiculous Lou Monte Christmas song, "Dominick The Italian Christmas Donkey," but you probably don't know that Lou Monte created a...
2021-12-20 13:01:02 +0000 UTC View PostThere's an arcade game I love called Growl. It came out in 1990 and it was about Indiana Jones killing poachers. Not a gang of poachers, but every participant in an industrial poaching complex living in a country made entirely of barrels each of which contained a machine gun or rocket launcher. It ...
2021-12-17 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostJudge Dredd is a film about many things. It is a cautionary tale of excess and hubris. It’s an efficient time capsule of the best and worst impulses of entertainment in the year 1995, like Pauly Shore locked in a casket full of CD singles of the Friends theme song and Batman Forever<...
2021-12-16 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostPlease give a rewarmed Hot Dog welcome to comedian, filmmaker, and former professional online hookup broker, Teresa Lee! She’s joining us on 2021-12-15 13:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Bonus episode audio for patrons.
2021-12-15 13:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
