beanytuesday

Two Friends Discuss Apes

First off, I want to deeply apologize to all my fans for including the absolutely rancid "pussy-eating gesture" in a comic. It's one of the worst pieces of nonverbal language ever invented, and the sicko caveman who came up with the thing should have been promptly clubbed and left for dead. Ah well. 

This was actually a really fascinating topic to research, and I would encourage anyone interested to read up about it on wikipedia and the like. Perhaps most interesting is Chomsky's a...

On Comedy

A short little something based on a brainstorming prompt I posted to twitter a few days ago-- people really liked this idea, so I decided to go with it. 

The actual quote is originally about journalism, by some dude named Finley Peter Dunn, so the entire premise of the joke is based on me completely misremembering it, lol. Still, I think the general idea it's based on is one that a lot of people would agree with, re: "punching up vs punching down", that sort of thing. When placed a...

Twitch Christ

The title is supposed to be a reference to 'Piss Christ', of course. 

Thought I'd treat myself to making something especially stupid after last week's comic. I started to fall out of love with this joke about halfway through making it-- it seems a little lame and meme-y. Still, I think I did a good job with the details-- hiding little jokes in the names and twitch chat. Mostly, though, I feel like what I find so funny about this idea is a little hard to convey. Assuming for a momen...

A Comic About Making Meaningful Art

I'll try to keep this somewhat concise, since the comic itself is so text heavy. This comic is a little bit meandering and stream of consciousness, and attempt to sort through my struggles with creating something that has depth to it, and also a sort of temperature check on the state of arts and culture in our society (not good!)

Because its a little all over the place, there are some things I worry I didn't elaborate on enough, not wanting to make it too dense. I'm sure people will giv...

A Comic About International Cuisine

This is a comic that I originally wasn't that thrilled about making; the joke itself I thought was a little overplayed. However, actually ended up rather liking this one: the art is crisp and fun, the characters were fun to draw, and I think I took the joke in a funny, unexpected direction at the end, experimenting with a new tool in my comedy writing belt; the third person narration in the final panel.

Necessity is the mother of invention. In the last panel, I wanted to forego the more...

Trans Frats [Patreon Exclusive]

Here's a comic where I really don't think there's anything particularly offensive or mean spirited, but I decided to play it safe and keep to patreon anyway, just to avoid any potential headache-- people have gotten way more upset over far less. Besides, it's been a while since I've put up something special for the patrons. 

The one bit of "discourse" I suppose lies in potential here is the idea of mischaracterizing college fraternities as organizations that are anything but heinou...

Bad Enders Pages 36-40

Here are the latest pages 

1-5 

5-10 

11-17 

18-23 

2020-09-23 17:38:49 +0000 UTC View Post

Two Friends Discuss Chemistry

I really like this comic! These are always a lot of fun to make; easy to write, lots of jokes to cram in, and I get to draw some fun little characters without having to worry about it looking super polished. I think this particular iteration improves on it by placing the background gag of the funeral; it gives a little bit of flavor to our two characters. Instead of being empty talking heads for whatever topic I have on my mind, we now have them characterized as this talkative little duo, obl...

The Two Types of "Mysterious Small Town" Stories

I think this is a pretty funny and interesting juxtaposition, though finding a pithy way to describe it for the title was hard.

This is another one of those cases where the comparison comes a little more from gleaned information than from an extremely in-depth knowledge of both story types; the former is obviously based off H.P Lovecraft and his contemporaries, including people like Thomas Ligotti and Steven King; I'm sure you could find no shortage of stories about various academics in...

Checking Out Some Video Essays

It isn't particularly profound to point out that popular media is lowbrow, uninteresting and trashy, and I suppose the same is true when talking about the popular brunt of video essays. Still, there is some particularly ironic sting when a whole medium that prides itself on being thoughtful and intellectual, yet hip and countercultural to the dreariness of academia, ends up producing utterly banal content. 

Go ahead and search "video essay" into youtube, no other qualifiers, and ga...

Gender Reveal

There isn't too much to say about this one, a quick joke that came to me in the shower. I had a lot of fun drawing the people running and screaming out of frame.

Massive ecological collapse being set off by one of the stupidest possible culture war battlegrounds just seems a little too on the nose for the hyper-reality we live in. I mean, its only a matter of time until the rising ethnonationalism and climate crisis subplots collide in a spectacular fashion, but the 'gender' running gag...

Every Guilty Gear Character vs Every Tekken Character

I originally had no plans to put this on patreon, as it was intended more as just a one-off twitter shitpost, but it appeared to get quite popular, so I thought I may as well archive it here for posterity. 

I've never actually played much of Guilty Gear or Tekken, though in my general moderate interest towards fighting games as a totality, I have watched  a fair bit of both. Guilty Gear specifically has some of my favorite character design in all of video games; it's utterly, ...

Youtube in the 15th Century

Not the strongest joke, in execution, but I think conceptually it's pretty funny. Maybe would work better acted out?

Obviously, the joke is based off the tedious refrain"what were they smoking when they came up with this!?" or "whoa... they must have been smoking weed when they came up with this!" everytime some unfunny dunderhead sees a cartoon with like, a talking dog or something. The simpsons probably nailed the joke the best; "we were eating rotisserie ch...

Mr. Oyl or, The Improver

This is very obviously a parody of the comic Mr. Boop by Alec Robbins, which exploded in popularity with a certain type of person on the internet when it was released. The idea came together in a discord voice chat with some friends while talking about the strip. I have nothing against the guy, personally, I'm sure he's totally swell. Nor do I have any beef with anyone who enjoys the comic. But ...

A Comic About Aging, Identity, and Where I See Myself In The Future

Every time I post a non-funny personal comic, I always dread the inevitable obnoxious comment of "uhh too much text lmao" or some other genius takedown. Thankfully, the reception is usually quite good.

The inspiration for this comic came when I was watching True Detective Season 1 a few days ago. In the first episode we see the apartment of Matthew McConaughey's character, a nihilistic misanthropic detective. The character itself is actually pretty cliche. In contrast with his family ma...

Bad Enders Chapter 2 Pages 31-35

Read the new pages here 

1-5 

5-10 

11-17 

18-23 

2020-08-28 21:20:21 +0000 UTC View Post

Math Rock

I've been in a rough spot creatively, as of late. This is just a little goof I threw together. Nothing super special. 

I've never really been impressed by 'technically' impressive bands. I used to hang out with a lot of people from the Berklee College of Music here in Boston, and they would always be playing these  bands with godawful names like 'Snarky Puppy' or 'Hiatus Coyote' and talk about how the polyrhythms or some shit. Awful. Unlistenable. Utterly devoid of meaning or ...

Election 2020

Or; The Election Store.

This comic went through a couple of different forms. The main driver here is not a particular joke, but rather a specific image. The original version of this comic was going to be titled "This is What 2020 Feels Like" and just have a man lying in a hospital bed. Then, a nurse arrives and says "So, we can't give you any medicine or anything, so uh... here's an old guy." She leaves, and the old man just stands there. The comic ends on a zoom in on the bedridden man...

Guide To Comedians

To be honest, I think this one is a little weak relative to my other 'guide' comics, but not enough to trash it. It's just very wordy without the density of jokes I usually aspire to. The art also didn't really turn out how I wanted. But whatever.

The idea of a medieval jester taking on all the affectations of a Comedy Central roast comedian, the most utterly crass and relentless of comics, is worthy of its own strip, tbh. Some goof in striped footy pajamas saying some absolutely wild s...

Bad Enders bonus comic: Hot Ones (patreon exclusive)

Here's a little bonus one-off gag comic I threw together with the bad enders gang. It was originally going to be a joke in Chapter 2, but I couldn't really find somewhere to fit it in. Oh well! It has nothing to do with the main plot and doesn't spoil anything. 

Bad Enders Chapter 2 pages 24-30

Read the new pages here 

1-5 

5-10 

11-17 

18-23 

The Adam Driver Debate

This idea is so massive brained that I hope it comes across in the way I wanted to.

The origin of this idea was the humorous observation that when you ask a woman to explain why the find Adam Driver attractive, they give you some absurdly theoretical explanation that somehow ignores that straight-out fact that he is unattractive-- in fact, they often admit the fact! Men, on the other hand, are scientific and analytical creatures-- no theory needed. Are the boobs big? Is the face symmetr...

A Brief Glimpse Inside A Men's Rights Forum

This is well-tread territory, but whatever. The joke is still good. Originally, this idea was going to start with the topic of discussion being "Is King Kong a simp?" with several posts arguing back and forth, the discussion getting more and more off-track every couple of pages, eventually arriving at the post above. The King Kong stuff seemed sorta mediocre, so I just trimmed the fat and made it a clean one-pager. All the ingredients are here; dumb guys, sex, and a gun being produced inexpli...

Democrats Unveil 2020 Racial Justice Platform

Yeeesh, I think I'm paying fire with this one. Even though my stance on the issue is pretty clear and I'm doing my best to only punch-up, as it were, I worry if people are going to be upset about referencing goofy stuff like the Mucinex Man, or doing a drawing of a statue in blackface. Is that divorced enough from the real thing to make it okay? I guess we'll see. I haven't yet had to issue an apology for any joke I made, so let's see if I can keep the streak up. The thing about police wearin...

PATREON EXCLUSIVE: 27 Is Fine

This is a comic I intentionally decided to keep off twitter and instagram because I don't want to get caught up in some shitstorm of people misinterpreting the joke and accusing me of trying to defend Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Delia or something. The comic was based off a bit I started doing during a phonecall with my friend after he uttered the phrase "27 is fine" (don't recall context) and it sounded like something a creep would say in a world where 27 is considered young for some reason. The...

Guide To Desserts

The fudge thing is 100% true, by the way. I worked at a Starbucks, not a fudge shop specifically, but the energy was palpable regardless. It was grueling, but a needed dose of reality. The island was beautiful, and I spent my days off in melancholy, biking around listening to podcasts and growing fond of Lorde's music for some reason. I wouldn't be the black-hearted ball of cynicism I am without the experience. I'm sure anyone who's been to the island can attest to the truth of my analysis.&n...

Behind The Scenes: Author Notes on How To Die On The Planet Earth

Here is a short little pdf of my thoughts on the short story I just posted, with a bit of concept art.  

It is obviously spoiler-heavy, so DO NOT READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY READ THE STORY

Enjoy if you want, if not, its cool! 

How To Die On The Planet Earth (Novella)

Here is a sc-fi short story I started working on a few weeks ago that got very out of hand and turned into a 52-page novella. Shit!!! It's a sci-fi dark comedy mystery. If you enjoyed my other short story

you may like this one as well! It's definitely way more all over the place, but I think it's got some cool ideas, and that classic beany humor you've come to know and love (hopefull...

10-Year Olds in 2003 vs 10-Year Olds in 2020

I'm good at describing things, but am I good at knowing things intimately? Not really. When it comes to making popular comics, does it matter? Unfortunately, not really. 

This comic emerged initially as just the first two panels, and then my sense of self-loathing and criticism took the wheel. It's an indictment of self for scoring such cheap laughs by recycling broad internet tropes about people, and passing them off as true by saying them confidently enough. It's also ...

Bad Enders Chapter 2: pp 18-23

Here are the new pages

1-5 

5-10 

10-17 here 

feel free to enjoy