Achewood

2001-2023 - How We've Aged

Yesterday at Lowe's home improvement center (of course) I realized that I was wearing boots, and this caused me to remember that on the Achewood About page I am also wearing boots. This gave me the idea to do a little "then and now" bit. 

Philippe has some kind of blemish on his lip these days, which is giving him a "tough" expression (he thinks this) that matches the neckerchief he's wearing as he plays Great Outdoor Fight around the yard. His big moment will be later, when I let ...

Battening Down the Hatches For Autumn

Do you become unduly exercised by people who post slideshows that have no people in them, such as of landscapes and buildings? If so, you and I share this trait. I have little use for unpopulated images. Our telephones were not engineered to capture the grandeur of that glowering harvest moon, or the towering face of El Capitan. They were meant to memorialize friend Scott showing off that he grew a silly mustache. People are fascinating to decode; I have no idea why you found that street corn...

0025 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 9

I would like to make a note on language, here, but it contains a spoiler, so please read the strip before I get into it. 

In panel three, Pat coins the phrase, "You spit-once-and-fuck Romeo!" What is meant by this may be unclear to some readers, as it is new. It is meant to describe a selfish heterosexual male lover who considers it "good enough" simply to spit on his sexual partner's labia and commence rutting, rather than woo them into a mutually erotic, naturally-lubricated stat...

More Beanies, Framed Strips Just Added to Shop

Beanies are back in stock! I am greatly loathe to make this a "merch blast" channel in your life. Very greatly. You are here for the Achewood content, not my "get rich slow" schemes. Once I make the shop public (it's still behind the "entropy1" password) these announcements will greatly diminish. But so many people had lamented that the beanies had run out yesterday that I want to inform you the 2023-10-17 20:27:12 +0000 UTC View Post

Password for Achewood Shop - Soft Launch Open Now!

Patreon supporters, please come in and take first crack at our holiday 2023 goods! We are standing by for your orders!

To shop, please visit https://achewood-holiday-pop-up.myshopify.com and use the password "entropy1"

Please note that this is a soft launch, and there may be some technical hiccups - please comment below if you notice anything that needs fixing. I will be opening the shop to the p...

2023 Holiday Shop Sneak Preview

This is a quick preview of a few cool new things we've added to this holiday season's lineup!  I'm putting the finishing touches on the store now, and expect to launch it Monday afternoon Pacific (as in, October 16). As a Patreon supporter, you'll get notified of the launch several hours ahead of my public announcements, so please use that opportunity to pick up anything you're excited about, as quantities of the new glassware, hats, and polos are especially finite.

One thing we're...

The Condition of the Great Outdoor Fight Enterprise After the Kazenzakis-Smuckles Razing (pdf)

What happened to the Great Outdoor Fight in the years after its unprecedented 2006 razing? Fight historian Joel Steinmetz offers this brief overview from 2014. (PDF)

0024 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 8

A freshly-bathed Ray wanders in and discovers Pat, who is suffering from the more acute form of "couch-lock" known as rug-bug. And Pat is anything but snug. 

It is my sincere hope that someone takes row number two and turns it into a pleasant little animation.  

Ask Me Anything! Author Q&A Thread #1

Please post your questions for me within twenty-four hours of this Q&A going live! (I.e., before Friday, October 13, 10AM Pacific.) I will respond over the course of the following few days. Patreon will send you a message when I reply to you.

Questions can be about anything, though Achewood- and writing-centric questions are what is largely anticipated. Surprise me. I’m a pretty open guy.

If your question is inappropriate, my reply will simply be to paste in the ...

Link to Achewood Digital Bookshop

I don't advertise this often enough. At this link you can instantly download a dozen classic Achewood books, including both cookbooks, several of Beef's 'zines, and a handful of rarely-seen, must-have titles for the completist. These PDFs are readable on desktop, tablet, and phone platforms alike.

https://www.patreon.com/Achewood/shop 2023-10-10 15:36:14 +0000 UTC View Post

Author’s Tier Photo Journal – My Fiancé is a Badass

In one of my favorite photographs of my fiancé Lauren, shared above, she is standing some ten feet in the air, perched confidently on a cinder block wall, running a saw through a miserable stretch of concrete Hardie board. I stand safely below, performing light photojournalism and occasionally helping hold the ladder.

This was 2022. The southern siding on my home, the one we currently share, had been battered near to mulch by the incessant rain of Portland autumns, winters, springs, an...

0023 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 7

Ramathustra Ron's martini with a "twist" begins paying in spades. We see more deeply into Pat's Rod Huggins rabbit hole. We are left with the unshakeable feeling that perhaps, just perhaps, Led Zeppelin was real after all. Can you imagine?!

(Art credit for David the Gnome and his wife Lisa: David el Gnomo, from BRB Internacional and Televisión Española.) 

Strip Outtakes from the Drawing Table

A little Thursday installment for the Author's Tier hardcores. The muppet-thing with the nose that comprises the significant portion of his face is from an actual fast-motion nightmare that had me convinced the body can produce its own DMT. (This was the same set of experiences that produced all of the hand-drawn illustrations in the Pat "Moppat Show" hallucination, which were taken directly from my sketchbook.) 

Assetbar Archive: Prime Time Vanity Albums, Nov 2010, Ray

This is an album Ray would have made if he was a big cocaine guy in the 80s, but he actually just made it as a medium-average weed guy in the 'teens. 

22nd Anniversary Flashback: 8-page Color Comic

Twenty-two years ago today a little otter stood atop a drum machine manual, and in so doing tipped this ponderous universe into motion.

Of all the levers I have pulled with great and specific hope in my breast, this was not the one I thought would become the reference frame for my life. And though at times this mercurial bull has bucked me to the dirt, it has also carried me through essential passages that I have loved, and of which I am cautiously proud.

Thank you for believing i...

Roast Beef and the Cup of Coffee

In this harrowing but entirely relatable* short story, Roast Beef Kazenzakis and Téodor Orezscu discuss the former's recent attempt to drink caffeine at the gourmet grocery store. 

* If you are somewhat but manageably bananas

0022 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 6

Pat Reynolds, in history's first recorded instance of some fool overdosing on microdoses (we all thought it would be Todd), enters the first stage of his heroic ego disassembly. Tune in next week to see what's happening with Ray and his suspicious bathtub visit with Ramathustra Ron...only on...Achewood! 

Speaking Engagement at Patreon HQ

Thanks to your resounding confidence in Achewood on the Patreon platform, Patreon flew me down to San Francisco to have a fireside chat with the home team.  

Assetbar Archive: Prime Time Vanity Albums, Nov 2010, Roast Beef

A continuance of the series. Ohhhh shiiiiiiit

0021 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 5

In which we finally get a glimpse inside the Hut of Senses, and inside Ramathustra Ron's inner machinations. We still do not, however, see any of these Ray-crazed witches that Ray keeps talking about. 

Assetbar Archive: Prime Time Vanity Albums, July 2009

When the cash is in stacks and your standards are lax, you can release some pretty wack wax. 

0020 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 4

In which we get a closer look at His Elegance Ramathustra Ron, who seems to take an instant and outsize liking to the new prodigy at the edge of his ranks. And the effects of the small dose of psilocybin seem to have begun to slowly set in...or have they? Was it just a placebo to see if Ray really is a bold new talent in RTC? Or was it, perhaps, a heroic dose? Tune in next week, as we get deeper into this Trip!  

Latest Achewood News - September 12, 2023

A few weeks ago I was conducted on a trip down memory lane by journalist and long-era Chochacho Alex Siquig. Mr. Siquig had lit upon the idea of covering the return of Achewood for Metro Silicon Valley, selling his editorial board on a bio of a comic strip that was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. (And which, like most Bay Area children, has abandoned that sprawl...

(Pic #2 NSFW) Achewood: Inside the Prototype Studio

With the brisk warning notes of firmer weather now puffing gently against the mullions, my thoughts naturally turn to Achewood anniversary and holiday preparations. Please enjoy this glimpse into things which are and are not in the works for the October 1 relaunch of the Achewood holiday shop! (Most actual new shop items are not shown here, due to surprises being fun.) 

This may seem like a heartless commercial missive of self-promotion, but after two decades of making things for r...

0019 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 3

All I ever wanted was to direct a movie where a car pulls off of a paved highway and onto a gravel road where it goes "crunch." I bet David Lynch could tell you his all-time top five scenes where that...anyway, that crunch is the part of the movie where we know there's no going back to the way things used to be. The protagonists enter an unknown domain beyond their control. Think about that the next time you hear a "crunch" sound. 

A scene from the ending phase of Pat and Rod’s now-defunct relationship.

In this short story involving Pat, a faulty MP3 player, and a policeman, we get to see a bit of how things were going toward the end of Pat and Rod's relationship. 

It is important to note that the officer in the story, Keith, is in no way related to Kyth the masseuse with whom Pat was in a doomed rebound relationship. 

(I'm experimenting with the best way to format these prose pieces for your ease and comfort of reading. Here is a single-column version in a larger type ...

Proposed Box Design for Oni Anthology, Vol 1 (RIP)

This was the proposed wraparound design for the box that would hold the ultra-luxe edition of volume one of the Achewood anthology that Oni was producing. The volume would come in three trim levels: Ultra-luxe (boxed, signed and numbered, with tip-in original illustration), Luxe (embossed hardcover), and Standard (paperback). Something like that...don't hold me to it. It's been a few years, and there were a lot of details. 

This clever design displays a timeline of the contents con...

The Netflix Achewood Series That Almost Was, Part 2

Casting Roast Beef.

"Swing for the fences," Netflix said to us, regarding casting. 

At the outset of the project, Pen had casually suggested Ryan Gosling for Roast Beef, and Jack Black as Ray. From a great height, both choices made sense: Gosling could do nuanced, delicate, actual acting, and Black was magnetic, bombastic, larger-than-life. But after listening to substantial footage of each, neither was ultimately an exact fit. It surprised me to rule against...

0018 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 2

The two cats—one with greedy dreams of self-advancement, the other wholly consumed by the promise of getting it on with witches—near their mysterious destination. As we read the final panel, we can feel the rush of the brisk air conditioning of the inadequately-outfitted convenience store wash over us, which will perhaps be the last true relief we experience for some time. Unless Pat just has a heart attack and Ray drives the body home and throws a big party and blogs about it at...

August 2023 Photo Diary - Strip Teaser in Last Pic

Author's Tier! I am looking at you, you special, beautiful people! (You are beautiful. Go in the bathroom mirror and look at yourself in that favorable way that the camera never seems to capture. We all do it, and even though no photographer has ever gotten us just right, we know it's just a matter of time.)

1. I have chosen to lead this month's "photo dump" with a highly meme-able image that I hope will set the world alight with its irreverent versatility. Th...