Dario Argento: eyyyy itsa me dario!
Argento: you all lika da suspiria yes?
Koontz: yeah suspiria was great!
Poe: yeah, great film
King: we love it!
Argento: eyyy now you really gonna lova when i bringa you
Argento: Inferno!
Argento: so there's dissa girl
Argento: you thinka she's the main character
Argento: but then
Argento: mama mia she getta stabbed!! now she dead!
King: whoa! what a fake-out!
Poe: never saw it coming
Argento: now there's dissa othe...
Stephen King: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of when the X-Men fought the literal embodiment of hunger
King: it was for a charity comic
Poe: oh right right of course
Lovecraft: of course
Barker: gotcha
Koontz: wowww! x men!!
King: so kitty pryde goes to the get some food
King: but then suddenly
King: she starts losing weight!
King: now normally
King: i think that sort of this is good
King: usually i think the opposi...
Oscar Wilde: [wearing sunglasses & tight black crewneck T, smoking cigarette] hey
Poe: new look, oscar?
Wilde: that's right, jerkface
Poe: Whoa oscar
Poe: that's uncalled for
Wilde: too bad hockeypuck!!
Wilde: i got a whole new act
Wilde: no one liked my bon mots
Wilde: so i'm rebranding
Wilde: i'm a fearless truth teller now
Wilde: [ripping black tape away from mouth] i'm a fearless truth teller
Wilde: i'm sayin' what everyone's thinkin now!
Wi...
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop time for goop
Gislason: this is the story of the sick-off
Gislason: these nurses make a bet about who can be the grossest
Gislason: and one eats poop
Gislason: so i guess i should say
Gislason: bloop bloop time for poop
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop so he eats a poop
Marquis de Sade: oh yeah i do that all the time
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Barker:
Lovecraft:
de Sade: i said 'oh yeah i do that all the time'
Barker: yeah yea...
Anna Helen Crofts: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, this is a little story that me and howard wrote together
Barker: you and howard? how'd that happen?
HP Lovecraft: oh we've been looking for a project to do together for a while
Edward Lee: bro you hanging with anna helen crofts now?
Lovecraft: yeah
Lee: bro
Lee: sonia greene, winifred jackson, hazel heald
Lee: how are you pulling all this quality tail?
Lovecraft: i don't know, i'm just being myse...
Eric Raglin: report to the goop troop
Shelley Lavigne: and we always stick together
Raglin: yeah we're the goop troop
Lavigne: best of friends forever
Raglin: bop-a-loo bop boppa loo wop
Lor Gislason: YEAH
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop time for goop
King: excuse me lor you're actually supposed to say "submitted for the approval of the midnight society"
Barker: no hang on
Barker: this has a nice ring to it
...
2023-12-26 21:26:28 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: hey patricia is it true you used to write comics?
Patricia Highsmith: [long cigarette drag]
Highsmith: who told you that
King: well, i just heard-
Highsmith: was it stan lee?
Highsmith: musta been stan lee
Highsmith: never met a cat who talked so much
Highsmith: might as well be a dame with all the yap yap yappin
Dean Koontz: wowwwww did you really meet stan lee, patricia?
Highsmith: yeah
Koontz: wowwww! what was that like?
[flashback]
S...
Aleister Crowley: and now as we approach the winter solstice
Crowley: great god apollo, great master brain thinker guy thoth
Crowley: all the little thelematic sprites and boggles
Crowley: now is the time that the great beast says
Crowley: DO AS THOU WILT!!
Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST!!!
Crowley: now that its the winter solstice
Crowley: its time to pay tribute to the spirits of the season
Victor Neuburg: how're we gonna do that boss?
Crowley: we're gonna eat t...
Neil Gaiman: i should like to invite you all to an evening of spleniferous whimsy and unearthly magic
Gaiman: [handing flier to Poe] for I, Neil Gaiman, shall be performing my world renowned Charles Dickens impression
Poe: [reading flyer] "Sunday Sunday don't stay home"
Poe: "Elevated theater at the monsterdome"
Poe: "opening act: charles dickens"
Charles Dickens: neil gaiman's doing a reading of my work in character?
Poe: oh yeah i hear its real good
Dickens: well, i...
Charles Dickens: ok guys today i'm gonna tell a spooky ghost story
Edgar Allan Poe: what the
Poe: what is THAT
Dickens: oh this? this is my pet raven Grip
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Dickens: say hello, grip
Grip: halloa old girl
HP Lovecraft: grip? that's a funny name for a bird
Dickens: why? what would you-
Dickens: oh you sly devil
Lovecraft: what?
Dickens: you almost got me there
Poe: whoa whoa whoa
Poe: your raven can tal...
Stephen King: you know i'm something of a prog guy myself
Todd Keisling: is that right
King: maybe you've heard of a little band called the rock bottom remainders
Keisling: yeah i've heard of them
King:
King: well
King: well i was in that band
Keisling: steve i would hardly compare the rock bottom remainders to the awesome power of progressive rock
King: c'mon todd i got progressive cred!
King: i got the crimson king in my dark tower books!
Poe:
Barker:
Todd Keisling: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call the tale of the yellow kings
Keisling: so there's this progressive rock band making an album based on the yellow king
Keisling: with a cover by our greatest living artist roger dean
Dean Koontz: hey! that's my name too!
Keisling: that's no coincidence boy
Keisling: so there's this groupie
Keisling: camilla
Keisling: and she's got ideas for the band's music
Keisling: horrifying apocalyptic idea...
Stephen King: submitted for th
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyy stephano king
Barker: oh look steve it's your friend
King: he's not my friend
Musk: ima not his friend!
Musk: friendship ended with stephano king
Musk: nowa hp lovecraft issa my best friend
Musk: eyyy Hp lovacraft i gotta something here you really gonna like
HP Lovecraft: w-why are you talking like that
Musk: i maka a new AI mama mia
Lovecraft: what kind of accent is that
Musk: it...
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Shelley: what's going on here
Lord Byron: [tossing hair] ah mary what a vision you are
Lord Byron: [tossing hair] percy and i were just about to visit the ladies of llangollen
Shelley: why are my boyfriends sneaking around together behind my back
Mary Shelley: what the hell is this ladies of llangollen bullshit
Lord Byron: [tossing hair] ah see mary it's a most curious thing
Byron: [tossing hair] two women living together
Byron: [tossing ha...
[at unicorn fuck club]
CS Lewis: hey jrrt when are you going to give us another hobbit story?
JRR Tolkien: oh you guys liked the hobbit?
Lewis: yeah we all loved it! we want more hobbit adventures!
Lewis: we need to know what happened to bilbo and the ring after that whole dragon affair
JRR Tolkien: well since you're all so interested
Tolkien: i DO have another story
Tolkien: about a certain hobbitty little character who has a grand adventure out
Tolkien: i call it<...
Stephen King: submitted for the app
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano king
Barker: oh hey steve it's your friend
King: we're not friends
Musk: eyyy stephano king itta me your funny friend elon
King: you're also not funny
Musk:
Musk: mama mia!!!
Musk: eyyy stephano king whya da advertisers advertise on other websites but no on da twitter??
King: probably cuz of those things you said
Musk: datsa what she said!!!
Musk: oh!!!...
Bill Watterson: what ho, mortals
Watterson: it is i the hermit bill watterson
Watterson: i have lived up in my cave on the mountain for nigh on 30 years
Watterson: in silent contemplation of the mysteries of the cosmos
Watterson: but now i descend to walk amongst you
Watterson: to speak of the revelations delivered unto me
Watterson: thus spake watterson!
Stephen King: oh my god! bill watterson!
Watterson: yes
King: i'm a real big fan of calvin and hobbes you kno...
Eric Stenbock: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the other side
Stenbock: ok so there's this brook
Stenbock: and everyone in the village says you shouldn't go to the other side
Stenbock: they're all like "nooo don't go to the other side"
Stenbock: "the other side is bad"
Stenock: "the other side is scary"
Stenbock: "it's too gay"
Stenbock: but this kid named gabriel goes
King: oh, another gabriel!
Stenbock: and gabriel i...
Eric Stenbock: hello midnight society
Stenbock: i'm Count Eric Stanislaus Stenbock
Stenbock: [producing life-size mannequin] and this is my son le Petit Comte
Thomas Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Ligotti:
Stephen King: you're uh
King: really staring at that mannequin kinda intently there, tom
Ligotti: hm
Eric Stenbock: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the true story of the vampire
Stenbock: one sec, let me just get le Petit Comt...
Ray Bradbury: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lazy summer of youth
Bradbury: long days down by the river, fishing in miller's pond, afternoons at the soda shop, ice cream sundaes with fabulous unicorn worlds built of whipped cream, nickels for a dime
Bradbury: and becky miller's freckled-face kisses
Bradbury: sweeter than sunsweet prunes
Bradbury: sunsweet prunes, i tell you
Bradbury: the only prune that's sweeter than a nostal...
Harlan Ellison: so how does a guy get paid around here
Edgar Allan Poe: this isn't that kind of event, harlan
Poe: we just gather here to tell stories for fun
Ellison: well, the rest of you might be assholes but that doesn't mean i am
Ellison: not saying a fucking word here til i get my money
Harlan Ellison: what is this? some online jokester making jokes with my likeness?
Ellison: oh you better hope they're paying me for this
Poe: lighten up harlan it's just for fun
Neil Gaiman: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the kitsune in love
Kij Johnson: oh this sounds great
Lafcadio Hearn: AHEM
Hearn: i'll be the judge of that
Hearn: you baka gaijin
Gaiman: this is a tale of that ineffable madness that seizes the young and emboldens the old, cruel in its kindness and kind in its cruelty
Gaiman: beautiful in its ugliness and ugly in its beauty
Gaiman: i speak, my friends
Gaiman: of love <...
Robert Heinlein: now i usually tell stories over at space coven
Heinlein: but i thought I'd come over and tell you a story
Heinlein: about alien puppet masters
Heinlein: i call it the puppet masters
Barker: are they alien?
Heinlein:
Heinlein: oh you've heard it?
Clive Barker: ugh space coven?
Barker: those guys are the biggest nerds
King: i thought you said unicorn fuck club were the biggest nerds
Barker: no i said they were the biggest dorks
Barker: there'...
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
Helen Joyce: ok listen when the dark lord gets here
Joyce: nobody mention that hogwarts legacy didn't get a single award nomination
Joyce: she's going go through a lot
Joyce: you know with all those duct problems in her castle
Allison Bailey: i have an idea
Joyce: yeah?
Bailey: you know how i lost that court case but i just told everyone online that i won?
Bailey: what if we just did that?
Bailey: i mean that's kind of...
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Poe: oh hi mary
Poe: you're just in time
Poe: washington irving's telling a story tonight
Shelley: w
Shelley: washington irving?
Poe: yeah
Poe: something wrong?
Shelley: [blushing furiously] n-no
Washington Irving: [lighting pipe] ba ba ba ba boo
Irving: hey old man good to see you
Irving: hope you're all enjoying this little shindig
Irving: now let the ol' groaner take a whirl with a story
Irving: submitted for th...
Stephen King: submitted for the
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano king!
Musk: itsa me, elon musk!
Barker: ohh steve your best pal is here
King: we're not pals
Musk: stephano king!!! how you canna say dat
Musk: alla da people onna da twitter, they no lika me!
Musk: i don't-a get it!
Musk: i clogga da feed witha spam anna nazis!
Musk: i posta old meme!
Musk: i maka dem pay $8!
Musk: by my-a calculations, i shoulda be REAL popular now!
2023-11-10 19:14:40 +0000 UTC
View Post
Seann Barbour: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the day that kept repeating
Stephen King: oh! like groundhog day?
Barbour: except that everyone also becomes a murder pyscho
King:
King: oh that's not like groundhog day
Barbour: no it's not like groundhog day at all is it steve???
Barbour: so everyone is turning into murder psychos
Barbour: it's kind of a real problem
Barbour: but this one guy, every time he dies
Barbour: ...
Harlan Ellison: listen up you chucklefucks
Ellison: it only happens once in a lifetime that an author emerges fully formed like athena from the forehead of zeus
Ellison: tonight you are going to hear from such an author
Ellison: a bold new truth teller who will put you all to shame
Ellison: a man named
Ellison: piers anthony
Ellison: that's right, piers anthony
Ellison: when you hear this story, it's gonna blow your tiny little peanut minds
King:
Poe:
Lovecraf...
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i'm back from genussspect con '23
Stephen King: from what?
Clive Barker: it's her terf convention, steve
Rowling: IT ISS MORE THAN JUSSST A TERF CONVENTION
Rowling: we had nazisss there too
Rowling: man i jussst had ssuch a blasst at genussspect con 23
Rowling: going to panelss
Rowling: watching the terfssuit parade
Rowling: commissssioning artissstsss in artisstss alley to draw my terfsssona
King: wait whats your...
2023-11-05 19:11:39 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: guys did you hear there’s a video game campfire too?
Mary Shelley: that sounds like some nerd shit
King: no no there are lots of cool people there
King: hideo kojima, sid meier, bob bates
King: the 2 guys from andromeda
Shelley: [cracking knuckles in anticipation]
Hideo Kojima: IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 19XX, MERCENERY GASEOUS SNAKE IS BROUGHT OUT OF RETIREMENT TO FIGHT THE REMNANTS OF THE WOLFDOG UNIT...
Kojima: INCLUDING...
Kojima:...